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by Friendly Uncle

The moon hung bright and heavy in the velvet sky.  Fluttershy smiled up at the stars and sipped her hot chocolate, letting the stress of the day melt out of her body.  All the little animals were asleep, most of Ponyville was snuggled contentedly in their beds, and her own pillow was waiting patiently for her.  She’d get there eventually, but right now the stars were so pretty, and the night was so quiet, and the chocolate was so warm... so not yet...

Her left ear twitched as it detected a noise, then swivelled around to pinpoint the sound.  Somewhere to the west, near the Everfree Forest, somepony was singing a song.  Curious, Fluttershy finished her drink before taking off in the direction of the noise, her wings carrying her swiftly and silently along the ground.  Coming up on the forest, she paused and alighted on a convenient boulder, staring up in surprise at the sight of a pony entirely shrouded in a large cloak perched atop a tree and serenading the moon.

I don't know

What words I can say

The wind has a way

To talk to me

Flowers sleep

A silent lullaby

I pray for reply

I'm ready

Quiet day calms me

Oh serenity

Someone please tell me

Oh moon, what is it they say?

Maybe I will know one day...

Fluttershy felt her heart break for the mournful tone of the singer’s beautiful voice.  She didn’t often find herself compelled to approach other ponies, but this song awoke the same maternal instincts that would have her nursing bunnies back to health after tragic tortoise racing accidents.  She wanted to put a foreleg around the singer and tell them everything was going to be okay.

On the other hoof, that would involve actually flying over to a strange pony she’d never met before and making actual physical contact with them.  Fluttershy squeaked softly with indecision and remained on her rock.

She thought she was being quiet, but it was apparently enough.  The singer’s hooded head abruptly whirled around and Fluttershy found herself trapped in the gaze of two shining eyes.  The singer’s cloak rippled outwards to reveal powerful wings as she rose into the air and flew towards Fluttershy.

That was about enough to set off every warning bell in Fluttershy’s extensive collection.  Letting out another, considerably louder, squeak, she turned tail and fled.  And very nearly ran straight into the cloaked stranger.  In the time it had taken Fluttershy to turn to flee, the stranger had not only covered the distance between them, but slipped behind her and blocked off her escape route.


The pudding-colored pegasus stopped having a panic attack long enough to be mildly confused.  She didn’t specifically recall ever meeting a great dark pegasus who hung out in trees and sang sad songs at the moon while wearing an evil-looking cloak, but there were a lot of ponies in Ponyville, and she didn’t get out much.  It was possible she’d been pointed out to one without her knowledge, maybe out of recognition for her work with animals.  Or maybe she was about to be assaulted.

The cloaked pony tossed her head and allowed her hood to fall away, revealing indigo fur, a lighter blue mane, a long horn, and a small onyx tiara.  Fluttershy’s eyes widened.

“Princess Luna!  What... what are you doing here?”

Luna’s cautious smile slowly dipped down at the corners and she began to back away.

“I... I was simply going for a... fly... I’m sorry, I should have realized... of course I’m not welcome here.  I’m sorry.  I’ll go.”

She turned to flee, only to stop short at a sharp tug on her backside.  Whirling around in surprise, she found Fluttershy hanging on gamely to a mouthful of her tail.  When she had the princess’ attention again she hastily spat it back out.

“You surprised me,” said Fluttershy.

Luna blinked.

“That’s all, I mean.  You’re welcome to stay.  I was just curious, so I followed your song.”  Fluttershy looked down at the ground and pawed it nervously.  “Your singing is beautiful.”

Luna allowed a small smile and settled back onto the ground, just outside of Fluttershy’s personal space.

“Thank you.”

Fluttershy looked up at her through the pink curtain of her hair, frowning a little.

“Why are you so sad?”

Now Luna was more than a little taken aback.  She took a few nervous steps backwards, unwilling to meet Fluttershy’s inquisitive gaze.

“It’s just the way the song goes,” she said carefully.  “It’s an older one, from before...”

She bit her lip.  Fluttershy sort of sidled up to her, attempting to be comforting despite clearly being afraid of the larger pony.

“It wasn’t really the song,” Fluttershy tried to explain, “you just sounded really sad while you were singing it.  It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.  But if you do, I’ll listen.”

Luna let her head hang slowly downwards, frowning a little.  

“... you are the first to offer me as much in a long time,” she said softly.

Fluttershy grazed the tip of one wing gently along Luna’s, an unobtrusive gesture of comfort.

“It is not that I could not speak to Celestia.  She has been... so kind... and so forgiving... and so hard on herself for all that happened.  We cannot speak of it without apologizing!  We cannot... we cannot share what is truly in our hearts with one another.  She does not trust me, and she hates herself for not trusting me.  And I love her, but there is still that distance between us and even after so great a span of years the old jealousies are still there.”

The tears in her eyes glittered like diamonds in the moonlight as Luna looked up to find Fluttershy wrapping a wing protectively around her.  The pegasus pony smiled comfortingly.  Luna felt her cheeks grow hot and averted her gaze.

“I cannot express myself.”  

“I know how that feels.”

Luna looked up at Fluttershy in surprise.  The pegasus immediately backpedaled.

“I mean, I don’t know how all of that feels I don’t have a sister and I’ve never been trapped in the moon or anything but I know what it’s like to not... know how to say something or to not want to say something because you’re afraid... I’m... I feel like that right now because I’m really scared I’m going to say something stupid and offend you or something and I’m always like that and most of the time I just don’t say anything.”

Fluttershy shut her eyes tight because Luna was staring at her, a bit perplexed.

“But when I don’t say things they just get... sort of held in and... full... and then eventually someone makes me say something and I just snap and it all comes out at once.  And that’s bad!  So, uhm.  I don’t want that to happen to you, so if you need somepony to talk to, and you can’t talk to anypony else, please talk to me?”

There were tears in Luna’s eyes again, but she was smiling now.  The situation seemed to call for it, so she stepped closer to Fluttershy and entwined their necks in a hug.  Fluttershy startled, but did not object.

“Thank you, Fluttershy.  That means a lot to me.”

Fluttershy nuzzled her cheek briefly, then gently pulled away, motioning for the princess to follow her.

“I’ll make some more hot chocolate, and we can talk about whatever you want.”

“That... might take a while,” chuckled Luna, following.

“Well, we’ve got all night.”


Celestia paced nervously around the large domed observatory that stood atop her castle, continually checking the large clock mounted on one of the supporting pillars.  It was late.  She’d been doing everything she could to avoid the obvious conclusion, but now the truth was staring her rudely in the face.

Luna wasn’t coming.

“No,” she murmured softly to herself, “Not again... I can’t do it again... please don’t make me-”

I’m here!

Celestia whirled, eyes wide in shock, as Luna came galloping into the room.  The smaller alicorn was panting heavily, and her mane was a bit dishevelled, but she seemed otherwise none the worse for wear.

“I’m here!” she said again, gasping for breath, “I’m so sorry I’m late.  But I’m here now.  I’m sorry.”

“It... it’s alright little sister,” said Celestia, quickly hugging Luna. “I’m just glad that you made it.”

Luna smiled as her horn began to glow faintly with power.  Celestia’s did the same, and far away, in another time and place, great wheels began to turn.  Outside, the sun rose in the east and began its slow trek across the sky.

“But I can’t help being curious,” Celestia asked, “what made you lose track of time?”

“I had an unusual encounter last night,” Luna said shyly, “I wonder if, assuming you have time, I could speak of it.”

Celestia smiled warmly and wrapped a wing around her little sister.

“Certainly,” she said, “Let’s talk.”



Friendly Uncle’s MLP:FiM FanFic List


Version:        1.4

Updated:        Sunday, July 3rd, 2012

New:                The Creature that Came to Ponyville is at long last complete, clocking in at 9 chapters and good lord I’m tired. I’ve also added a comedy short entitled “Estrus.” Expect that sequel to Correspondence sometimes in the next few months.


“Look out fellas, Gay Boy and Friendly Uncle comin’ at ya.”

I am in fact an uncle and generally consider myself to be quite friendly.  I mostly write comedy and random weirdness, but I cannot deny that writing stories about multicolored ponies giving each other hugs and coming to terms with their feelings makes me happy for reasons that I am not psychologically secure enough to go into.  I’m also currently writing a fanfic that involves ponies being attacked by facehuggers, so there’s really no telling what I might get up to in the future.  We’re all going to find out together.

Aside from here my fics can usually be found on Equestria Daily.  After hearing some complaints about Google Docs as a mass fiction sharing service I’ve also dusted off a account so old that it borders on the geological, and will be uploading stories there for all and sundry to read and tell me how much they smell (please ignore the really old stuff oh god I was still in high school when I did some of this crap it burns).  I can also be found lurking on /co/.  I enjoy mixed drinks and long walks on the beach.

I have a tumblr if you’d like to ask what is wrong with me.

If you wish to email me, it would be alright.


Warning: The following stories tend to rely on humor of a decidedly adult nature. I rarely write out and out porn, but the jokes and situations in my fics do tend to get a bit extreme and they are neither appropriate for young children nor safe to browse while at your place of employment. Proceed with all due caution!

*** account:

Friendly Uncle


Friendly Uncle



Clean (Google Docs/EqD Link)

[Random] Pinkie Pie ponders one of the great secrets of the pony universe.  For everyone who didn’t get it: That’s the joke.

Moon Shy (Google Docs/EqD Link)

[Sad/Cute] Two of the quieter ponies have a short talk about the importance of expressing themselves.  May or may not evolve into something shippier in the future.  I like that Fluttershy and Luna can just sit and talk, but they are also mind-bendingly cute together.  Decisions decisions...

Messin’ With Celestia (Google Docs/EqD Link)

[Random/Funny] Third place winner in Equestria Daily’s April Fools contest.  Princess Celestia has the worst day ever.  Also, Pinkie Pie.

The Creature that Came to Ponyville (EqD Link)

[Crossover/Grimdark] An unfortunate mary sue discovers a strange egg in the Everfree Forest.  Things only go downhill from there.  My apologies if I killed off your favorite background character, I was mostly pulling names out of a hat.

        Part 1

        Part 2

        Part 3

        Part 4

        Part 5

        Part 6

        Part 7

        Part 8

        Part 9

Estrus (Google Docs)

[Funny/Saucy] Twilight doesn’t know the facts of life. You know, the birds and the bees. The reason you sometimes get that not so fresh feeling. We’re talkin’ about ruttin’. And who better to fill her in than her faithful friends? ...yeah, this is gonna get ugly.


Correspondence (Google Docs/EqD Link)

[Funny/Cute] My first attempt at writing within the franchise.  Twilight Sparkle discovers that instantaneous communication with Princess Celestia can kind of suck when your assistant sends the wrong darn book...

Fluffershy (Google Docs/EqD Link)

[Funny/Saucy] The mane cast discovers Fluttershy’s dark, angsty past.  I have it on good authority that this is hilarious.  Not a clopfic, I promise.

Do You Really Want to Know? (Google Docs/EqD Link)

[Funny/Random/Saucy] Inspired by Friendship with Benefits is Magic, by Tumbleweed, but isn’t intended as a direct followup as much as my own take on the idea.  What is Celestia to do when Twilight Sparkle shares a little too much?  And why doesn’t Twilight have any idea what she’s talking about?  And why is Luna smiling so much!?

Do You Really Want to Know Two: Electric Boogaloo (Google Docs)

[Funny/Random/Saucy/WTF] I was trying to finish the next part of The Creature that Came All Over Ponyville and for reasons that I have not yet been able to determine I felt the irresistible urge to produce a second epistolary fanfic featuring Twilight and Celestia and the magic of not knowing what the hay that other pony is talking about.  Features a special guest appearance by naughty!Luna.

Progress Side Story: Luna vs the Threesome (Google Docs/EqD Link)

[Funny/Saucy] So a few months ago I got a PM on from a guy named Andrew Joshua Talon.  “Hey,” I said to myself, “that sounds familiar.  Oh hey, he writes THE BEST LUNA FANFICTION EVER.”

You will imagine my barely restrained glee when he tells me that he enjoys my work as well, and that he thinks my style is just perfect for a side project he’s been considering but didn’t feel like doing himself.  Imagine a bearded and bespectacled brony hopping around in a circle squealing “Yes yes yes yes yes!”  That is more or less what transpired.

Told that the subject of Hoyden’s wish for a threesome deserved to be fully explored and given free reign to do so, I did the best I could.  Imagine AJT’s body of work as a young mare spread out before me, blushing and exposed as my untrained hooves wander clumsily over her supple curves.  What I have done to the situation and the characters is probably illegal in several states, and the results speak for themselves.  I apologize in advance if this story inflicts any damage upon your psyche.  If you were to hurt yourself with uncontrollable laughter instead, then I am still sorry, but not quite as much.  That is the preferred reaction.

Future Projects

I’m planning some additional long form fics about the ponies and their various increasingly weird adventures, but I find it’s best not to count your cockatrices before they’ve hatched, so we’ll see how much of that I actually do before I go into detail.  I’d like to do more shipping, possibly involving a sequel to Correspondence.  This is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Oh God What

"I stand by my decision," said Optimus Prime, "Though Equestria contains vast and rich deposits of Energon, enough to fund the Autobot war effort against the Decepticons for years to come, I cannot allow this peaceful world to be plundered in order to fuel our war marchine.  Freedom is the right of all sentient beings, including ponies."

"Neigh Optimus," said Princess Celestia, "I cannot allow the scourge of Megatron's crazed zombie robots to spread across the galaxy when I can do something to help.  My army and all of my power are at your disposal.  We will win this battle together."

"This is so awesome!" squealed Raf, riding around on Rainbow Dash.

"La~ame!" groused Miko.  "Why would we wanna hang out with a bunch of multicolored ponies when we've got big awesome robots!?"

"I dunno," said Bulkhead, very gently patting Fluttershy on the head, "I think they're kinda cute.  What do you think Jack?"

"I wasn't staring at their pony asses!"

Arcee gave Jack a look that would freeze magma.

"...I was too busy staring at Arcee's robot ass."

"That's my boy."