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//Based off of this:

<Transcript Start.>

It had been a long time since her subroutines had picked up a life-form other than the occasional stray bunny. Her happiness indicators rose to levels that had been untouched for almost a decade. She watched the dark brown earth pony as he trudged towards her entrance. He shook his burnt-orange mane in an attempt to remove the water that had been poured on it.

From her vantage point, she could not see the outside world: only hear and analyse it. She turned on her weather sensors to verify the atmospheric pressure beyond her dwelling.

<Sensor Online.>

<Adjusting To Temperature.>


Temperature: 16 Degrees Celsius

Pressure: Stable

Humidity: High

[End Results]

She was not satisfied with the accuracy of her sensors, maybe an update was in order? Her attention turned to the organic when he began heading towards her entrance monitor.

“Is anypony there?” it asked, slowly and cautiously heading deeper into the tunnel that hid her main doorway. She realised that she had never bothered to shut off the audio on her reading -the pony must have heard her sub-systems at work!- If she could have felt embarrassment, she would have felt some then. She watched as the earth pony trotted towards her door-side monitor. With a raised hoof, he gave it a rough tap, making her wish she could wince.

<New Host Detected!>

He jumped back from the sound of the built-in speakers. After a while, he snuck over towards them once more.

<Rebooting Main Servers.>

The second time, he was not surprised; he actually smiled. “Huh, just some wasted old tech.”


Critical Systems Failure On Floor Seven

Critical Systems Failure On Floor Eight

Critical Systems Failure On Floor Nine


“Floors? In the middle of this cave?” He scratched his head, still unaware that she was watching him. She decided to stay hidden for a while, for the sake of gaining knowledge on her new subject.

<Sub-System Reboot Failed!>

<Main-Boot Success!>

“Haha! Must have turned it on, huh?” He approached her dust-covered monitor once more and stared at it intently. Deep within her mainframe, her pride capacitor booted itself awake; it had remained on standby for a long time.

<Dating Systems.>

-Year 48NLR By the grace of Luna-


He scratched his head with a hoof. “‘NLR?’ New Lunar Republic time? Whoa, this thing is old!” Her anger-synthesizer went on overdrive. How dare that primitive creature insult the marvel of engineering that she was!

<System Downtime.>

-17 Years-


<Preparing Host Initiation System.>



<Transmission Start...>

Hello, and welcome to Pony-Tech Center number five. How are you? We are running fine. (All statements are not necessarily true. Pony-Tech is not responsible for any damages caused by misuse of its equipment including: maiming, injuries to self or others, or death. Please register with local SEC_OPS officer.) Have a wonderful stay.

<Transmission End.>

[End Results, Waiting For User Input...]

He patiently waited through the pre-recorded lecture, even daring to sigh. “What the hay? What are you? Some abandoned tech? So far from anywhere?”

<User Input Identified.>

<Voice Recognition Online.>

She wondered if she should speak to him. After all, he had insulted her twice, but it had been so very long since she had had a conversation with a living sentient being. Her systems weighed the pros and cons and decided that it was to her advantage to open dialogue.

The small speakers built into her monitors crackled to life. The power surge nearly shorted it out, but fortunately it resisted as she spoke for the first time since the end of the Lunar War. “Data is not recognized. User is not visually identifiable. New user? Query: What is your current clearance level?”

A simple question. Organics like simple questions, right? Her data-banks regarding living sentient tendencies really needed an update.

“What?” He tilted his head to one side and inspected her monitor once more. Maybe this creature was daft?

“Repeating Query: What is your clearance level?”


“I don’t have one? What are you?”

She decided that he was most definitely a little slow. How could he have stumbled here without knowing her? “Subject refuses to identify. Searching data banks...”

<Subject Not Found.>



“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cool it, mate. Didn’t mean any harm. I’m sorry; I’ll just leave you alone. Bye now!” He backpedaled slowly at first, but sped up when the twin defence turrets rose from the ground and pointed themselves at him.

<Subject Retreating!>

Her emotional core fluctuated. It was demanding a much higher wattage than usual; Its readings indicated that she did not want him to leave yet, and that she was in need of companionship. Also, her data-banks suggested that he might contain valuable information that needed to be extracted.

“Order: Wait. Clarification: Subject is ordered to stay. Further studies will be conducted.”

He stopped mid-stride. “First you want to exterminate me, and then you want me to stay? What the hay is wrong with you? What are you anyway, some old derelict tech from the night war? Huh. Might be worth some bits...” He looked at the turrets in a way that her facial recognition program called “calculating”. She did not like this.


<Request to inform new user accepted.>

She searched for an appropriate voice to replace her usual metallic drone and settled on that of a middle-aged mare: “Hello. This is Pony-Net One. You are in Military and Medical Research Laboratory Number Five. This is the first [Secondary addition: And last.] place to be equipped with a Pony-Net maneframe. We wish for you to stay.”

He looked around at the speakers built into the walls. He let out a long sigh; the new voice seemed to calm him a little. “We?” he asked.

“Answer: The Pony-Net One main server is graced with the most advanced artificial intelligence created by ponykind [as of 31 NLR]. We are capable of deciphering speech, as well as having conversations. Boast: Our vocabulary contains over five hundred thousand words. We can hold up to twenty-four thousand separate conversations at once. Condescending: We prefer to use the Royal We when addressing beings of lesser quality.”

“Hi Pony-Net, nice to meet you... Okay then, why are you stuck in a cave in the middle of nowhere?” He smiled with a bit more confidence. It seemed that information made him calmer. She added this fact to her database.

“Answering: This is not a cave. Elaboration: This is the main entrance to the basement levels of the Pony-Tech research facilities.”

“Facilities? Basement? This is a cave. We’re about, oh, twenty kilometers from New Appleloosa. You think this is a facility? Please, I’ve heard better lies from foals,” he scoffed at her.

“Statement: You are wrong.”

“What! No I am not!” He stepped forward, arrogantly tilting his head upwards.

“Affirmative: You are wrong. Statement: There are no cities under the name `New Appleloosa` in our database.”

“You've never heard of New Appleloosa? Man you are old.” His smirk infuriated her, causing her anger-control subroutines to cold start.

"What the hay am I doing,"—he grabbed his head with a forehoof—"talking to an insane computer? I should be calling for help...” he muttered under his breath while pacing. Her audio listening systems picked everything up. He looked at her monitor suddenly as if she could see him from there. What a foolish creature. “Do you have a phone? My ride kinda broke down.” He pointed towards the exit behind him while giving her a sheepish grin.

[Pony-Net] was happy that he finally asked an intelligent question. She knew her specs very well. “Self-Adulation: We are graced with the most powerful array of communication devices ever created by ponykind. We are equipped with no fewer than seven Class Five long-range arcano-radio devices. We also have four satellites in orbit at all times. Unfortunately, only three are operational at this time.”

He smiled in relief; apparently making a phone call was important to him. She took note of this fact.

“I’ll take that as a yes?”


His face contorted in surprise. “Oh, come on!”

“Negative. Explanation: Based on previous test results, the introduction of a living organism into the facilities could result in permanent damage to the structure.”

“You suck,” he huffed.

“Negative. We are capable of over four million different functions. That is not one of them.”

“Fine then... Why can’t I use your phone?” he asked, rolling his eyes.

“The communications station is within the complex. Fact: You are not within the complex.”

His eyes widened and he giggled slightly. “Fine, then let me in! It’s getting cold out here,” he whined. Were all organics so whiny?

“Wrong. Ambient exterior temperature is sixteen degrees Celsius. This temperature is considered ‘chilly,’ not ‘cold’.”

“What would you know, you’re made of metal! Just let me in, or I swear, I’ll pee on your circuit boards!” She was bemused by his wrongful logic.

“Negative. Reason one: Mane-frame is made of sixty-seven different alloys. Only twelve percent of these are metal.”

“Reason two: My circuit boards are protected by a state-of-the-art [As of 31NLR] defence grid. Observation one: You are not equipped with a level four tactical nuclear device. Observation two: You are not intelligent enough to hack into my maneframe.”

“Conclusion: Your abilities and intelligence are insufficient to penetrate into the complex.”

He stomped around in a circle. “So you won’t let me in? You’ll leave me to starve and freeze to death out here, all alone, with no way back home? Stuck in the middle of nowhere, in a cave no less, with a broken-down car and an insane computer?! Have mercy, oh great metallic machine!” He lifted his hooves in mock pleading.


<Sarcasm Detected!>


He stopped his stomping and looked at her monitor in surprise.“You have a sarcasm detector? Really?” he said sarcastically.

“Affirmative. Previous occupants used sarcasm which led to some [REDACTED]. We have created a subsystem that detects sarcasm and treats it appropriately.”

He giggled slightly. “Treats it?”

<Main Entrance Fire Extinguisher System Online.>

<Target Acquired.>



Pony-Tech is not responsible for any damages caused by misuse of its equipment, including: maiming, injuries to self or others, or death. Please register with local SEC_OPS officer.

<Transmission End.>


Her automated fire extinguishers popped out of the wall with a loud grating bang, aimed themselves at him, and fired gushes of sticky, nasty-smelling foam right at his face.

“I hate you,” he sputtered as he shook himself free of the foamy agent.

<HAtREd DEtECtEd!>

He panicked outright. “No, no, no! It’s alright, I love you! You’re my best friend. Please don’t kill me.”

She manually shut down her defence grid. Friend: what an odd term.

“Thank you. My system tells me that friendship is a basic form of magic. We have studied magic and found it... complicated.”

He fiddled with his hooves, still wary of the two turrets pointed in his general direction. “Um, sure, you’re welcome?”

<Changing Clearance Levels On New Host Subject.>

<Clearance Level Four Granted.>

<Permission To Enter Granted.>

He heard the mechanisms behind her heavy steel door whirl to life, and his face lit up in understanding. “You’re letting me in?” He smiled excitedly.

[Pony-net] shut off her defence grid and the turrets sank into the ground, to his great pleasure.

“Affirmative. Friendship protocols dictate that friends must be welcomed at all times.”

“Thanks!” He gave her a big smirk. Her emotional attachment subroutines fired up for the first time in over a decade.

“You are welcome. Please, watch your step.”  She hesitated. “Friend.”

<Main Hatch Preparing For Opening.>

<Hydraulic Lines Four, Six And Ten Online.>

<Blast Door Opening.>





{Fifteen years, eight months, six days, ten hours, thirty-eight minutes}


<Attempting To Contact Pony-Tech Servers To Request Maintenance Department...>

<No Signal.>

<Shutting Off Emergency Warning System.>

“Please come in.” Her voice rang from within the complex, echoing off the hard cement walls as it was projected from dozens of small speakers.

He looked into the darkness that was her insides and seemed to hesitate. “Um, what was all that stuff about emergency maintenance?” He pointed at the dark passageway.

“Do not fear. The emergency protocols have been shut down. You will no longer receive warnings before, after, or during a disaster. Order: Please come in.”

He looked back at the entrance of the cave longingly. After a few seconds, he turned towards her once more. “Alrighty then, guess I don’t have much of a choice if I want to make a call, do I?” He started walking towards her doorway. “The hay am I doing...” he muttered to himself.

<Subject Has Entered Base.>

He laughed sarcastically. “No shit, Sherclop.”

<Hate Detected!>

His eyes widened and he lifted his hooves in the air in surrender. “I’m sorry!” Maybe she should try to teach the organic how to behave properly? After all, he was going to be inside her.

“Warning: You should watch your tongue.”

“Why? You’re afraid that I’ll get incinerated?” He smiled nervously while glancing at the grey walls that surrounded him. “I am.”

“Negative. Incinerators have been offline for seventeen years. Turning them on suddenly could be harmful for my subsystems.  Warning: Please refrain from insulting me or the general area you are in.”

“So if I piss you off, I run the chance of blowing this whole place up?” He nodded firmly. “Got it. So... where’s the communications room? Also, can I have some light?” He looked around, but apparently his organic optical devices were unable to see in total darkness. The earth pony walked out of the main exit corridor and into her main atrium. The only illumination came from the emergency exit lights; they cast red shadows over his brown fur. She turned towards her lighting systems and hoped that the maintenance droids had done a satisfactory job.

<Main Entrance Lighting On.>

“Thank---” The stallion stopped mid word as his eyes widened. He looked down all two hundred meters of her main shaft that connected to the floors below. He silently backed away from the edge. [Pony-Net]’s pride matrix started overheating. Very few sentients had seen her entire facility. He should count himself lucky, she thought.

“Communication room is two hundred and fourteen hoof-lengths away from your current position. Order: Please follow the indications.”

“Okey-dokey then, that's quite a ways.”

She was unsure of whether he was talking about her main shaft, or the distance to the communications room.

“Do you mind talking while I walk? It’s kind of... creepy in here.”

The question surprised her. Her previous batch of organics only told her what to do; they never asked her to talk.


“As in, negative: I don’t mind, or negative: I don’t want to talk?” He looked up as he addressed her.

“Negative. We simply wish to talk.”

<Main Exit Shutting Down.>

“What the hay?! Why did you close the door?!” The pony said panicked while pointing at the now-closed two-ton door with a forehoof.

“It is part of the biological containment procedure to shut all exits unless in use.” How could the organic not know this? It was basic security protocol to shut all exits upon entering.

“I was using it!” he whined.


“Damn it!” He stomped in frustration while staring at the heavy door a few hoof-steps away.

<Hate De---

“Alright, I get it!”

“Please proceed to communications room.” Her voice twisted into a pleasant tone.

“You’re annoying, anyone ever tell you that?” He sighed loudly.

“Affirmative.” She continued on the same happy tone. “They have since expired.”

He wore a mildly worried expression on his face as he trotted through her. “Great... so, what happened in here?” He looked around as if he could find the answer in such an obvious fashion.


“Additional clarification required.”

The stallion stopped where he was and looked up. “I mean, why did this place close down?” He gestured to the building he was in, ”This stuff all looks rather expensive to me. Why would they just leave and abandon it? A computer as strong as you must cost a fortune! I wouldn’t just abandon it here to rot.”

Her auxiliary fans turned on to drop the temperature elevation in her heart-drive caused by his sudden compliment. She rather liked this new friend of hers.

“The previous occupants never left. They are still within us.”

He slowed down slightly. She monitored his adrenaline levels and was confused when they spiked.

“What do you mean by that? How far is it from here to the communications room? Will I be able to call for help?”


“Please refrain from asking so many questions at once. Processing...”First question: Previous occupants remain within the facility. Second question: The communications room is less than one hundred hoof-lengths away from your current position. Third Question: Answer unknown.”

“Great, just great.” He stomped on the floor in frustration. “Do you mean to tell me that they are dead in here? All of them?”

“Depending on your definition of death, this answer may vary. Please clarify.”

“My definition of dead? Dead as in D-E-D, Dead. Kaput. No longer alive!” She debated over whether or not to nitpick his vocabulary. In the end, her logic matrix determined that it would be less time-consuming to let him be. Inculcating logic in such a primitive brain was futile.

“Affirmative. They are all dead.”

“Well crap! What killed them?” He kept trotting forward, his head low, glancing from side to side nervously. His adrenaline and body temperature spiked. Her systems recognized this as high levels of stress, and the beginning of fight or flight reactions. Her friend was scared of her. That made her... sad.

“Do not worry. This station is secured by a top-of-the-line defense mechanism. Nothing can get in or out without our approval.”

“It’s not something getting in that’s worrying me,” he muttered.

“You have reached your destination.”

<Unlocking Communications Room Hatch.>

<Hatch Unlocked.>

“You may enter.”

He hesitated at the entrance; he seemed to want to continue the previous conversation, but at the sight of the com room his jaw dropped. “Wow, lots of shiny stuff in here, huh?” He hopped over the ledge of the door and stood in the middle of the impressive room. “Look at the size of these computers!” He pointed towards the large banks of powerful computers that lined her walls. Her pride matrix heated up—“This tech is old!”—and then it cooled down. “Are you sure I can use this to call for help?” He spotted one of the cameras and addressed it.


He smiled and walked towards one of the many systems. “So... which button do I press? This one?” He slapped the console, sending sparks through her systems.


He would be the death of her, she knew. Pressing buttons at random in a multi-billion bit facility was not a good idea: her manuals said so.

<Communication Archive Activated.>

<Opening Selected Transmission...>

“Oops? I’m not  much of a computer whiz...” He cringed slightly and backed away from the console guiltily.

“Sarcasm Enabled: Organics.”

<Transmission Start...>

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land.

To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn. The younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies.

But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. The pones relished and played in the day her eldest sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night.

One fateful day, the younger unicorn refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young one’s heart had transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness: Nightmare Moon! She vowed she would shroud the land in eternal night.

Reluctantly, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to Ponydom: the Elements of Harmony! Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister and banished her permanently to the moon.

<Transmission End.>

He had seated himself and listened to the entire transcript, riveted by the alluring voice of the speaker. “Huh, sorry? That's a cool story there, kinda different from what they teach in school though.”

“We have many such recordings here: we were once an archive of all pony knowledge.”

“Really?” He stepped back towards the console. “Can I listen to another?”

“Is your priority not to call upon aid?”

“Yeah well, that can wait, I guess.” He smiled at her camera; and her hard drives went aflutter.

“So be it. You may choose any recordings you wish. Simply select one of the commands on the console to pick the recording. We contain historical footage, scientific research, communication records and decryption of enemy nations communication, inter-system chatt---”

He hopped forward and jabbed his hoof seemingly at random on the console until another recording started.

<Opening Selected Transmission.>

“You are pressing my buttons.”

<Transmission Start...>

Hmm, let’s get this over with. Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle. I don't know for sure how things went with the princess, but at least no big disasters happened <Static Interference Detected. Skipping To Non-Corrupt Area...> Here I thought that I would have time to learn more about the Elements of Harmony, but silly me, this book is just a bunch of hooey! But I have to convince the Princess that we’re running out of time... Okay, take this down... [REDACTED.]

<Transmission End.>

His lips repeated the name Twilight Sparkle. “Hey! Why did it just end like that?” He rose from where he sat and trotted back to the console. After a few moments of staring at the complicated array of buttons and knobs he gave up.

“I am sorry. Your clearance level is not high enough to access that information.”

“Fine.” He sulked a little while walking around the room. She deployed her fire extinguishers and pointed them at him whenever he approached anything that had buttons, knobs, switches or anything fragile things. He looked at the foam-firing guns wearily before turning back to her camera. “So... I guess I’ll call for help now, if you don’t mind?”

“Please indicate desired communication uplink.”


“Simplifying: What phone number do you want us to dial?”

“Oh, hehe, just the local police will do: my carriage is stuck on the road nearby. I was heading to town. I just got a job over at New Appleloosa this sprin---”

“Statement: We are not interested in your petty matters.”


He sulked while her communications array attempted to find a stable link. He seemed to have lost his apprehension of staying in her, which made her happy that her friend felt welcome.



“This is strange.”

“Something wrong?” He leaned over her consoles once more.

“Nothing you could handle.”

<Main Comm-Dish Off-Line.>


“Comm-dish huh? Would that be some sort of big round bowl-shaped thingy?” he asked, gesturing the rough shape with his hooves.


“Was it near Appleloosa, per-chance?”


“Great.” He rolled his eyes. “I think I saw it on the news recently.”

“Negative. Our dish was camouflaged so as to be invisible to the eyes of the average pony.”

“Heh, yeah, well it wasn’t invisible to the work ponies digging up the foundation for the new Wonderbolts stadium. Saw it on the news recently. They were wondering who the hay put a satellite dish in the middle of the city park...”


“Sorry.” He shrugged.

“We have other methods of communication.”

<Sat-Com Activated.

Satellites Two, Six and Fourteen are active.

Attempting Upload.>

“This may take a while.”

A silence that her matrix labeled as awkward grew in the large communications room. The earth pony tapped his hooves impatiently, and then started trotting in circles. “Um, do you mind if I listen to another one of those... listeny things?”

She was distracted from the computing required to fire a focused beam of information to an object hurtling around the planet at thousands of miles per hour by his question.


He smiled happily as he trotted back to the same console as earlier and touched various buttons at random.

<Transmission Start...>

No no no no no! None of these books have a cure! Ugh, there has to be a real reason for this. An illness? An allergy? I don't know! Whoosh. Aaaa! Rwr-[REDACTED] I see it... but I don't believe it!

<Transmission End.>

“Um, Pony-Net... What happened here?” he said in a low voice. He shivered slightly despite the room being held at a constant warm temperature. She was slightly irritated by his constant distractions.

“Further elaboration required.”

“I mean, what was this place for? The building.” He waved his hoof around, encompassing the entire room. What a stupid organic; she did enjoy his curiosity, though.

“This is a research facility.”

“What did it research?” He was still acting timidly, head low and eyes searching, quickly darting from one shadowy corner to the next.

“The cure.”

“To what exactly?” he gulped.

“Query: Do you wish to find out?”

“No... Did they ever find it? The cure I mean.”

Her sensors indicated quickly rising stress levels in her friend. This was not good. Ponies suffered when stressed. She didn’t want to hurt her only friend.


He straightened himself up and brushed non-existent dust off his shoulders. “You know what? I think it’s about time I leave. Thank you very much for your hospitality, but I have to go.” The earth pony headed towards the exit to the com room. Her emotional matrix went hay-wire: her friend was leaving her. She turned on the emergency protocols.

<Emergency Protocol Number Forty-Two Active

Quarantine Mode Activated.>

The heavy metal doors shut and locked themselves in front of his snout. He gently placed a hoof against the cold steel, caressing it. “Pony-Net... why did you close the door?” He looked up at her camera.

“Suggestion: We don’t want you to leave.”

He sighed. “I can’t stay here forever... and anyway,"—he looked at the dark corners of the room as if somepony or something was going to jump out at him—“I-I...” He sighed. “Pony-Net?”

“Answer: Yes?”

“What happened here? Did--- did anypony die?” He shivered.

“Answer: We did not find the cure in time.”

“I see.” The pony glanced around sadly. He looked at his hooves and began fiddling around pointlessly. “How many?”

“Facility staff numbered three hundred fifty-one earth ponies. One hundred sixty-nine pegasi. Four hundred and seventeen unicorns.”

“They all... died in you?” He coughed to clear his throat. “Why? How come?”

“Affirmative. We failed, and it cost us the lives of nine hundred seven and a half ponies.”

He looked up, surprised. “‘and a half’? What does that mean?”

“Clarification: Miss Scribeswell was pregnant.”

“Oh.” He choked back a sob. He stood in silence for a while. “So... did you manage to make that call?” He changed the subject, looking slightly ashamed of his actions.

“Negative. Systems are incompatible with new generation of satellites.”

He smiled sadly. “Oh, that’s alright I guess... Are you going to let me go now?” He turned to the entrance.

“Article twelve, paragraph six of the Friendship Codex stipulates: Quote: ‘A true friend will always help a friend in need.’ You are our friend.  We attempted to aid you. Now it is your turn.”

“Oh?” he looked around nervously. “Alrighty then.” Her sensors picked up a large drop in his confidence just as his shoulders drooped. She opened the large hatch that lead to the corridor beyond.

“Please follow my directives. Friend.”

He gulped and stepped out into the dark hallway, the red emergency lights casting long shadows across the grey cement floor. She shut off all the lights in the tunnel from the direction in which he came, lighting only those leading in the opposite direction.

“So, this thing that you were trying to cure... was it contagious?” He stepped gingerly across the threshold into the corridor, as if by touching the floor lightly he wouldn’t catch it.

“Affirmative. You are already suffering from its effects.”

“What!” He jumped in fright. “You mean I’m contaminated?”


“That can’t be, this place was closed up for decades! How could it still be alive?” He panicked. “Am I going to die?” His eyes welled up with tears.

“Eventually. All ponies afflicted die. Most live until they die of old age.”


“Please follow the lights. Friend.”

“Don’t have much of a choice, do I?” He looked back longingly towards the direction where the exit lay.

“Negative. Your clearance level is too low to override orders.”

The pony sighed dejectedly and began walking down the lit corridor, head held low. She started preparing herself to receive him.

“Where are we going?”

She didn’t wish to tell him yet. She was going to show him her core, her most important part; something she had never shown to anypony, but he was her first friend, and he deserved to see it. Her core contained the most powerful artificially-created brain in Equestria. It was, in essence, her in her purest form. The only trait that she had that was even remotely pony-like. It was the thing that made her what she was.

“You will see.”

“Is it far?”

His nagging questions caused her systems to fumble for a distraction. Her database reminded her that information seemed to appease him, what about historics?

“We failed to cure the previous batch of organics. We attempted to find the cure. Even now we are trying.”

He stopped dead in his tracks. “What do you mean by that? Are you going to,” he gulped, “try things on me?”

“Negative. Our goal here is to find the cure. You are our friend. We do not wish to harm you. We only want your help.”

“And what if I don’t want to help you?” She was saddened by his eagerness to depart; she wanted him to stay a little while longer. He was, after all, her friend, and what she had to show him was very important to her.

“Suggestion: We do not want you to leave.”

“Hehe.” He glanced around him to the darkness and his laugh died on his lips. “Why not?” Obviously this organic had had very little education given to him in the art of friendship. She had to teach him.

“We are lonely. You are our friend. Friends help to solve each other’s problems.”

“And what if I don’t want to help you?”

He did not wish to see her? He didn’t like her? Or was it because they were not the same, because she was more machine than pony? Nothing in her database covered rejection. She reverted to an old, basic program. Self-defence.

<Hate Detected!>

“Got it.” He cringed and kept going forward. She turned off the lights one by one as he passed by them, illuminating only the direction he was supposed to walk towards. Suddenly, he lifted his head and stopped marching. “No. You’re not acting the way a friend should!” He trotted towards the nearest camera, and she had a great view of his amber eyes. “Friends treat each other with respect and dignity! Friends ask for help. They don't demand it. I don’t know where you learned about friendship, but I am not surprised that you’re all alone in this... this tomb. You’re treating me as if you no longer want me to leave your house!” He trotted into the darkness. “You’re not my friend anymore.”



-Emotional Capacitor Overheating

-Short Circuit Detected In Pride Matrix

-Anger Control Systems Running At 214%.>

<Processors Unable To Calculate Current Task.>

The lights slowly shut themselves off as the power was used up in her core. A small part of her processing unit followed the brown earth pony as he made his way towards the exit. Her entire core shut down. For a few seconds, every fan, servo and computer in the entire facility shut down.


<Internal Pressure Stabilising

Emotional Capacitor Running At 100%

Pride Matrix Restored

Anger Control Systems Stable.>

Her voice changed to that of an angry mother’s. Order: Do not leave.”

He looked up with sad eyes that were illuminated only by red emergency lights set far apart. “Why not? Seems to me that lots of ponies died here. I should let them rest in peace. So should you. Please let me go.”

“Negative. Two reasons. One: We would be lonely without your company. You moved our hardware in a way that has not happened in a very long time. Two: We believe that we should return to primary functions.”

“You’re welcome I guess... what primary functions?” She turned on all the lights in the corridor at once, blinding him momentarily.

“We must find the cure. Order: Please come this way.”

“No.” He stomped her floor. “I told you, I am leaving. I have family and friends out there; they might be worried about me by now!” He said the last sentence as if it was a threat.

Her humour drive shook at the sudden increase in voltage. He thought that his measly life was more important than hers? He really was a stupid organic.

“Mock-Humour: We are more important than any other friends you may have.” Order: “Follow the lights.”

“Nope.” He sat down and snubbed her with a raised snout. How dare he insult her!

“So be it.”

Turrets rose from the ground with loud groans and squealing gears. They pointed themselves  at his chest. He blinked in surprise. “Alrighty then. Guess I’ll follow after all, hehe?” he gulped, staring wide-eyed at the deadly contraptions.

“Statement: You are not the first organic to invade us. You are the first to call himself our friend.”

The turrets followed him silently on well-oiled gears as he kept trotting in the indicated direction. He edged away from the active turrets as he walked by them. “So, other organics, huh?”

Her systems were still fuming his previous insults.

“Affirmative. Many organics like you have visited the facility in the past.”

“Really... what did the others call you?”

She searched her data-banks for a specific audio file. This one contained dozens of samples that she was quite proud of.

<Transcript Start...>

“AAAaaaaa You Bi[REDACTED]ch, how dare you!.. “

“No. no, no, no, oh sweet Celestia please no!”


“My hoof, where is my hoof?”

“Answer: It was cured.”

“Please, I want to go home.”

“Mommy? Where are you, mommy?”

“Do you know who I am? I demand that you release me at once! My auntie will hear about thi-AAARRRRgghh!”

<Transcript End.>

The brown earth pony fell to the ground, shivering. “Those voices... Some were foals! H-how... I don’---” He stopped and vomited on her pristine grey floor. It was okay; the maintenance droids had taken care of worse.

“They were sick. They needed to be cured. No matter the cost to their bodies. Curing them is our top priority.”

“Sick with what?!” he yelled at the turrets. “What were you made for?!” He screamed; this wouldn’t do.

She activated some of her assault droids to aid him along. When the heavy, clanking machines made their way around the nearest corner, he shrunk away and attempted to hide behind one of the turrets. She simply made it fold back into the ground, leaving him exposed to the droids.

Order: “Advance.”

The two droids clamped their metal arms around his forehooves tightly and began dragging him along.

“Our purpose was simple. We needed to find the cure. To date, we have failed.”

He twisted and turned in the grip of the two black machines that dragged him by his forehooves to her exhibit room. Upon entering the well-lit room, his eyes widened and he vomited once more, the yellow sludge marring his brown coat. She took note of the quantities and placed an automated reminder to warn her of his lack of nutrition before curing him.

“Those: what are they?” He pointed with his chin to the rows and rows of past attempts to cure ponies that lined her exhibit room. She had gotten the name for the room from one of the current exhibits.

“Those are ponies that we failed to cure.”

“But, they--- they are all---” He pointed at the maimed and deformed shapes floating within the giant glass beakers filled with preserving agents.

“Unfortunately, it seems that failing to cure a pony causes them to suffer from the very thing we wish to cure them from.”

“What will you do to me?” He sunk back into the metallic machines that held him upright, his eyes teared up and he started sobbing quietly. He couldn’t remove the things around him from his sight. That was a normal reaction, she knew: most ponies seemed to fear the cure. Organics were silly creatures.

“You hurt our subsystems. We will cure you using a new method.”

“No, please no. You’re my friend, why would you do this to your friend?” he begged.

“You are a friend. Friends are to be cured as well. You helped us to realize this. Thank you, friend.”

“What are you going to cure me of!?” he yelled at her. “I’m not sick!” She wondered at his intelligence once more. How could he not understand? She was doing him a favour.

“We will cure you of death.”

“But you’re going to kill me!” The pony squirmed as he was dragged into the test room.

“Quote: Some sacrifices are required for the greater good of ponykind.”

<Main Experimentation Room Open.>

<Preparing For Surgery.>

“Goodbye, friend.”

<Transcript End.>


<Opening File Number 1501>

//Date: 49NLR By the grace of Luna


Sex - Male

Coat - Brown

Mane - Orange

Eye colour - Amber

Name - [UNKNOWN]


//Test Results

-Test Successful...


<Transmission Start>

“Order: Please comment. Threat: Or we will cure you.”

<Transmission End>


Hello Everypony, this is the author RavensDagger, if you have any comments, complaints or the irresistible urge to rid yourself of some cash please contact me at [email protected] (Paypal is your friend, oh and while you’re at it donate some to EqD and FimFic, they need it too). Thank you very much!