Rarity Horror Fashion Show
by Roy G. Biv
Celestia was ill
The night Nightmare Moon appeared
And told us of her plan.
And Lauren Faust was there
With a pencil in her hair,
And her show's bible said she had a plan!
Then something went wrong
While I was trying to write this song;
I got caught in a fourth-wall jam!
Then at a deadly pace
I saw the look on your face.
And this is how the story began...
At the fan-service.... Rarity Horror... Fashion Show...
The story begins with a rare event in Ponyville. A wedding. As the town hall's bell rang, all the ponies in town waited anxiously for the couple to finish signing the forms inside before Celestia. Then the doors began to open as all the ponies held their collective breaths... This silence ended with a deafening roar as the newly married couple. The mare and stallion wave to the cheering crowd; followed a few steps behind by Celestia herself smiling happily.
As the newly married couple climbed into her carriage for the traditional honeymoon in Canterlot, the bride pony lifts her bouquet high in the air. All the unmarried mares all clamored forward, each pushing and shoving to get the best position near the front. The bride let the bouquet fly into the air, but a gust of wind caught the flowers to cause it to fly towards the back of the mare mob... And in the back of the group an orange freckled pony with a blonde mane & tail leaps up to catch the bouquet in her muzzle. As disappointed groans and accusing glares filled the air, the mare tried her best to hide under her formal western hat.
The couple took to the air in the carriage, being pulled off to Canterlot by the armored pegasi. Celestia was announcing something to the gathered masses, followed by more cheering. But the orange pony could hear none of it. All the blood was rushing to her face, filling her ears with the rapid beating of her heart at realizing she had caught the bouquet... Equestria tradition stated it was up to her to be the next mare in Ponyville to be married.
It seemed like forever for the plaza to empty, ponies all gathered around for the longest time to discuss the wedding and celebrate. The orange pony kept waiting off to the side, still clutching the bouquet as if lost in a dream. As her eyes finally focus, under a nearby tree she sees a familiar sight. Leaning against the tree is her brother, a freckled crimson red stallion of a pony with orange mane. Yet, unlike most ponies, around his hooves are blonde streaks of hair. Dropping to all fours, he begins to trot over while chewing on a piece of straw. "Hey, Apple Jack?"
The female earth pony rises to her hind legs "Yeah, Big Mac?"
"Big McIntosh wipes the sweat from his brow nervously. "Well, I-ah... I really love the special way... You beat the other ponies to the bride's bouquet..." Suddenly, a chorus of Fluttershy's birds begin chirping a crescendo of music, but Big Mac just glares at them to stop the singing. "Well, ah... We should go grab the apple cart and take it over towards West Fillydelphia to sell them, I re'kon."
Applejack nodded sadly and kicks the dirt. "Sure as shootin', you're right. I guess I just got wrapped up in this girly stuff." Looking dejected, she follows her brother out of town to their farm.
A tan pony with brown mane & tail wearing a suit and bowtie motions for you to follow suddenly. "Oh, relax... I know I'm breaking fourth wall here..." he begins. "You see, I'm here to explain what is about to happen. Now, thanks to a timey-wimey, magic is friendship-ish thing, I'm a pony now. But I'm the Doctor, and I'm here to help."
The pony leads you into a blue box of some sort, the inside somehow is MUCH LARGER than on the outside.
Sitting down behind a desk, he pulls out a book and smiles. "Ah, here we go. Now I would like, if I may, to tell you a story. And you should listen, because stories are cool. Just like bowties are cool. And ponies. Ponies are now cool, too. But I digress..."
The Doctor opens the book and looks for refrences. "Hmmm, where is it... Ah, here we go! It seemed a rather ordinary day when Bic MacIntosh and his sister Applejack left Ponyville and their farm to deliver apples to West Fillydelphia. Shame about the storm clouds in the air. All heavy, black & just a complete mess. Those clouds are unbelievable! Some Pegasus ponies must be asleep on the job! But it was because of those clouds breaking out into a storm that the siblings had an evening they would remember for a very long time..."
As lightening crashes in the air, the scene shifts back to Applejack & Big Mac, the two ponies trying their hardest to drag the over-filled small cart in the whipping rain. As Applejack pushes from behind, Big Mac tries to yank from the front. But the cart refuses to budge. "Darnit all to turnation, big bro!" Applejack spits out. "Why'cha have ta' swerve all of the sudden! Now we're stuck in this here mud!"
Big Mac shrugs to himself and shifts the straw in his muzzle while giving another tug. "Whelp, I done told'cha there was a cat that ran out in the path." Applejack looks at the hopeless mess and sighs. "Well, we need to call and let our buyer know we're gonna be late. I re'kon I saw a castle back there a ways."
Her brother nodded softly as he unhitches himself from the covered cart. "Ayup. I'll just mosey along with you. In case there's trouble at that d'ere castle."
So the two ponies, with one last longing look at heir cart, began the trek through the forest and rain towards the castle. As they do, a door opens from between two trees to reveal the Doctor pony again.
"Oh, hello!" he begins. "It's been such a confusing day, hasn't it? Don't mind me. I can bounce around time and space at will with timey whimey power. Anyhow, so Applejack & Big Mac ran off to the castle to get the help they needed.... OR DID THEY?"
The door closes, and the scene is now of Applejack & Big Mac trotting up a stone path to a creepy looking old castle with lights inside all aglow. The two earth ponies look at the imposing double doors with stone gryphons on either side. Both country earth ponies shrug to each other before Big Mac gives the doors a sharp knock with his left forehoof.
With a groan, a teal pegasus with a rainbow-hued mane peeks out, her faded tuxedo jacket illuminated by a flash of lightning from the storm as she lowers her gaze. "Hello." Her voice is a low monotone void of almost any emotion whatsoever.
The stallion offered his right hoof forward with a grin. "Howdy! I'm Big McIntosh, and this lil' mare is my sister, Applejack. 'Kin ya' help us? See, we were takin' some apples ta' market an' our cart broke down."
The pegasus just continued to stare, her wings fluttering softly as she looks between the pair of earth ponies. "You're wet."
AJ stepped forward with a nod as she stomped here forehoof on the stone steps. "Well, sure as shootin' we're wet! It's rainin' cats 'n dogs out here, I re'kon!"
The pegasus mearly nodded at the outburst calmly before licking her lips. "Mmm, perhaps you both better... Come inside?" She moved aside to allow the two earth ponies entrance with a low bow.
The pair slowly walk into the castle as Big Mac nods in thanks. "Well, that's right neighborly of y'all, I re'kon, lettin' us come in ta' dry off."
As the pair walk into the castle's foyer, the sounds of a wild party could be heard in the next room even behind its closed doors. The foyer was filled with several suits of pony armor as well as what looked to be a casket with a clock built into it. Finally, along the right wall, was a tall staircase that seemed to wind up the castle itself. Laying on the railing seemed to be a pink earth pony in a maid's uniform fast asleep.
Applejack trotted up to her brother and nudged him with her muzzle gently. "Ah' re'kon this here place ain't right for ponies like us."
Big Mac shook his head and gave a soft chuckle. "Ah, it's all right. It's pro'lly one of them there lodges some ponies belong to, like the Freeponies or some such!"
The front door slammed behind them before the teal pegasus trotted out from behind them in a slouching manner. Waving her left forehoof towards the pair of siblings, she gave a firm nod. "This way..."
As the brother and sister followed the pegasus, AJ gave a low cough to get the other mare's attention. "Ahem, Ah... Are y'all havin' a party?"
The teal pegasus gave a non-committal shrug as she continued to trot down the foyer. "You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the Mistress's shows..."
The blonde earth pony swallowed nervously before trying to let out a fake chuckle. "L-lucky her..."
Suddenly, from the banister, the pink pony dressed as a maid rises up, her mane flat and hanging over her right eye as she nickers out, "You're lucky, she's lucky, the whole CASTLE'S LUCKY! MWA-HA-HA-HA!" As she nickers out the beginnings of an insane cackle, lightning flashes outside while the casket clock begins to ring out the top of the hour.
The teal pony slides across the floor to the casket clock, her right hoof opening it to reveal a pony skeleton inside as she begins the oddest thing. She starts to sing as rock music fills the air! "It's astounding... Sanity is fleeting... Pinkamina... Has taken control... But listen closely...."
The pink earth pony slides down the banister as the teal pony sings, leaning against the pegasus back to back as she sings out in a dark, rage-filled voice. "Not for very much longer!"
The teal pony nods and poses with the pink pony, her forehooves crossed over her chest. "Now watch me, I'm on a roll!" The pegasus then zips into the air, her wings fluttering rapidly as a rainbow trail follows her. Whilst zipping loops and spirals in the air, she continues singing s her voice is suddenly filled with emotion and feeling. "I remember! Doing the Pony Clop! Laughing at those moments when! The shipping became daring! And even OCs came a'calling!"
As the pegasus zooms towards the double doors at the end of the foyer, the maid pony throws them open to reveal a huge party filled with ponies of all breeds, zebras and even Griffons dressed in the hight of fashions. As the doors are thrown open, the entire party looks towards the siblings as they call out, "LET'S DO THE PONY CLOP AGAIN!"
A blue box of some sort appears with a weird wooshing song as its door opens. Inside sits Doctor Whooves as he pulls down a chart filled with dance steps. "Oh, I know you bronies... You'll want to dance along to this. Well, I'm here to help you dance to it. You start with just a hop to the left..."
The gathered party then answers the good Doctor with a rousing chant of, "AND THEN A HOOF TO THE RIGHT!"
Leaping back a bit, the flustered Doctor coughs and shakes his head. "Sorry for that. You then put your hooves on one's hips..."
But before the tan pony can continue, the party drowns him out with another loud shout. "AND BRING YOUR RUMPS IN TIGHT!" The gathered party goers then begin to bump eachother, rump to rump, as they continue to sing at the top of their lungs. "But it's the sexy flank bumps that drive the shippers insa-a-a-a-a-ane! Let's do the Pony Clop again!"
Doctor Whooves fumes, crossing his hooves as he glares out his blue box. "You know what? Forget it! Do the rest of this song without me! I'll not be inturrupted!"
The blue box's door slams shut as the pink maid pony leans against the sibling pair singing in a husky tone. "Oh, it's so dreamy... Seeing you here with me... I must keep the want to make cupcakes... Under control... But listen closely Not for very much longer... I promise Pinkamina will stay in control..."
The teal pegasus lands next to Pinkamina, grinding her rump against the pink pony's rump as she grins wickedly. "Mmm, with a bit of a flank shift... We can ride each other' hip... And dancing will never be the same..."
The pink pony's eyes roll back into her head as she lets out a cry of pleasure while singing, "Oh, yes! It's the greatest sensation! Like we're floating in a space station!"
The whole party then calls out at the same time, "Let's Do the Pony Clop Again!" As they sing, a computer tower is rolled out with a white filly with a curly purple-hued mane and tail sitting atop it. Lifting her head, a powerful voice began to ripple out of this small filly's muzzle. "Well I was surfing fanfics all week thinkin' most of 'em stink, When that guy RagingSemi gave me an evil wink! He picked-a me up, he took me by surprise! He had a beat up van with 'Free Cutie Marks' on the side! He showed me things an' I felt a change! Clop meant nothing, never would again!"
The whole party let out a cheer and began their erotic dance again, singing along as they did so. Whilst they did, the two siblings very slowly started to back up, a quite nervous look in their eyes. But then, as suddenly as the impromptu dance and song began, everyone fell to the floor shuttering and moaning. The siblings paused, looking at each other with a stunned look for a moment before Applejack shakes her head. "Big Mac, we need ta' get the buck outta this'n here place, like now."
The crimson-haired earth pony shook his head gently. "Aw, they're jus' dancin' an' mean no harm. I re'kon that dance might evenb be a bit o' fun ta' try with some of tha' mares here. 'Sides, we still need a phone ta' call our customer..."
A white unicorn wearing wearing a long purple sequined robe that matches her perfectly-maintained mane begins to descend in the cage elevator behind the retreating pair, the mare’s right forehoof stomping to a slow beat as Applejack continues to freak out towards Big Mac. "Big Bro, this place sure ain't for normal ponies, an' it ain't for us!"
The pair start backing up the steps towards the slowly decending elevator as he chuckles softly. "Well, bein' we're two strong ponies, I rekon we'll fit in fine here for now. 'Sides, maybe they'll show us more of that their dancin' they be doin' here..."
The gathered ponies and griffons all chuckle as they watch the pair intently, yet also watch that elevator finally reach the ground. Applejack shakes her head as she gets more frantic. "I don't care two shakes of a bunny's tail, big bro! Safe or not, this place creeps me out! I'm cold an' I'm a bit frightened an'..." Suddenly Applejack's butt bumps the front of the elevator, causing the door to open and reveal the robed pony. The shock of seeing the white equine face causes Applejack to fall back against her brother as she lets out a blood curdling scream of shock.
The white pony meraly nods and begins walking out of the elevator as she begins to almost sing to Big Mac. "How do you do, I... See you've met my... Faithful... Weather Pony..." With that, the white pony waves a hoof towards the teal pegasus who nods wickedly. Nodding back towards Big Mac and the recovering Applejack, she continues. "She's a little distraught because... When you knocked... She thought you were the Apple Salesman!"
The white pony begins to trot into the main hall and up the red carpet, sashaying her hips as a DJ pony in the corner begins to spin a rock beat for her to enter to. All the collected ponies begin to part for her while she makes her way towards the regal chair in the center of the room. As she walks, she begins to call out over her shoulder to the shell-shocked pair. "Don't get strung out by the way we look! Don't judge a book by its cover... I'm not... Much of a unicorn by the light of day..." She reaches the the throne and whips around, the unicorn rising up to her hindhooves as she bats her eyes seductively. "But by night, I'm one hell of a lover..."
The unicorn then throws off her robe, the sequined robe falling over the throne to reveal the white equine is decked out in the most scandalous of under garments! She is wearing a black silk halter top, matching black silk panties, black fishnets over her hindlegs with a garter belt, and what looks to be long sequined sleeves on her forelegs. On her flanks is her cutie mark of three diamonds. Licking her lips, she poses to the assembled group while tossing back her mane teasingly. "I'm just a Sweet Fashionsta from Metrosexual Fillydelphia, ha-ha!"
Leaping down to all fours, she begins to make the rounds in the group, shaking hooves with the assembled ponies as one mumbles out, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mistress Rarity!"
Turning her head, to peer at the pair, she gives a playful wink. Big Mac, taking the cue, trots a bit closer as Applejack slowly follows. "I'ma glad we caught you at home... Kin' we use yer' phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry..." Applejack just nods dumbly in agreement as her brother continues. "We'll just stay where we are an' then go back to our cart... We don't wanna be any worry."
The unicorn suddenly turns, facing them as her smile widens. "Well, you got caught with a flat trying to dodge some poor cat! Well babies, don't you panic! By Luna's bright moonlight, we'll all see right... I'll get you a specialized mechanic!" The pony walks back over to the chair and lays across it on her back, the pegasus pony moved to stand by her head, the pink earth pony stood by the unicorn's legs and helped prop them up. Finally, the white filly unicorn settled atop the chair and stared forward with an almost predatory look.
The unicorn just smiles, licking her muzzle lips again as she grins at the pair. "Why don't you... Stay for the night? Or maybe... a 'bite'? I could show you my favorite... obsession? I've been making a stallion... With blonde mane like a champion... And he's good for relieving my... tensions."
The unicorn slowly stands up, the earth pony and pegasus on either side staring lustfully at the unicorn as they rub their hooves together. As the unicorn rises, she almost purrs out the words, "Mmmm, I'm just a Sweet Fashionista... Ah, check me out! From Metrosexual... Fillydelphia! Hit it! Hit it!" The trio of ponies begin to all three shaking their hips in time as the unicorn continues to sing in her sultry tone. "I'm just a Sweet Fashionista from Metrosexual Fillydelphia, ha-ha!"
Dropping to all fours, the unicorn trots over towards the elevator and rests inside it. Turning, she looks at the siblings and licks her lips. "So, come up to my shop... And show me how you clop... I can see you both shiver with antici.... pation! But maybe the rain isn't really to blame... Heh... So my servants will dry you before the next song selection!"
The elevator slams shut, the scandoulously-dressed unicorn rising up into the air as the party members all clap. The two siblings just look about bewildered as the party filters out of the hall... Before their vision is covered by two towels. The pink maid and the teal pegasus start rubbing them all over with the towel as the young filly nickers in delight. "Oooh, slowly! Slowly! It's too fun a job to rush!"
As his eyes become visible to his surroundings again, Big Mac tries to offer a hoof forward. "Ah, thank ya' kindly. I'm Big Mac, an' this here is my sister Applejack. What's y'all's names now?"
The young filly shrugs non-commitaly as she lets out a giggle. "Mmm, you're both pretty lucky to be invited up to my sister Rarity's work shop! Some designers would give their right hoof to see it!"
AJ shakes out her now dry mane as she blinks. "Whut, ponies like you maybe?"
The filly lets out a quick laugh. "Ha! I've seen it!" With that, she begins pushing the pair towards the now re-lowered elevator with the other two servants. As the door closes, AJ looks towards the pink maid pony curiously. "Ah, um... Are you'n that there Rarity together?" The pink pony just begins to laugh at the comment as the teal pegasus interjects. "The Mistress is not yet married, nor do we thing she ever will be... We are meraly her... Slaves..."
The rickety elevator continues up the castle until finally revealing a large sewing room. Around the back wall stands all of the party guests and in the center of the room stands the adult white unicorn in a designer lab coat, if there were such a thing. As the door opens, the group slowly trots out as the unicorn nods slowly.
"Pinkamina!" The maid pony steps out of the group and salutes at the call of her name. "Sweetie Belle!" The young filly also steps aside and salutes the adult white unicorn as well. "Go and assist Rainbow Dash while I entertain..."
Big Mac trots forward and offers his right hoof. "Ah'm Big Mac, and this here is my sister, Applejack."
The unicorn mare smile, shaking the hoof as she licks her lips. "Enchant'! Well, how nice. And such a perfect specimen of Stallionhood you are, Big Mac, was it? Why, Applejack, you must be awfully proud of him..."
The blonde earth pony shrugs and chuckles. "Well, Big Mac here is'n the best apple bucker this side of Equestria, so I guess I am!" As she chuckles nervously, the teal pegasus named by the unicorn as Rainbow Dash slides up and nudges the adult unicorn. "Everything is in readiness, Mistress Rarity. We meraly await your orders."
Nodding towards the siblings, the unicorn trots to before a box of sorts covered by a white sheet. Throwing back her head, she calls out, "Tonight! My unconventional fashionistas! You shall witness a new breakthrough in Matchmaking Research! It was strange when it happened... I was pondering how to find the stallion of my dreams when suddenly, a light bulb went off! IDEA! What a fool! The answer was right there in front of me! If I can't find the perfect man, I'll just brainwash one! And that's when I realized I could just use all the love from Spike to put into the Prince to make the ultimate lover!"
Gripping the sheet, she pulls it away to reveal a purple dragon and a white stallion with a flowing blonde mane both strapped to tables with some sort of metal bowls with wires running into them covering each head. Pointing at the pegasus, the unicorn suddenly shouts out, "Throw open the switch to the sonic friendship cannon!"
As the teal pegasus starts throwing switches, the unicorn gleefully begins to cackle. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! And step up the power input THREE MORE TRIANGLES!" The stallion and the dragon become illuminated with a blinding white light as the siblings cover their eyes to protect from the sight.
As the light finally dims, the bindings holding the stallion open and he groggily slides himself off the table. The unicorn with the flowing blonde mane stares at the unicorn mare before smiling. "Mistress Rarity, have I told you how much I love you?"
Clutching her forehooves to her chest, the unicorn mare lets out another laugh! "Ah, it works! Pinkamina! You can deal with Spike in your own way! I have a honeymoon to attend!" The two unicorns begin to trot off into a secret boudior as the maid pony gleefully wheels the still bound dragon out the door cackling about a new cupcake recipe.
Whilst all this happens, the blue box appears once more as the doctor waves from behind his desk. "Sorry, things got all confusing there for a bit! If this is all too scary, you can just tell yourself that it is all an illusion! If that is true, then Applejack and Big Mac are both quite safe!" The Doctor then leans forward, his usually smiling visage taking on a glower. "However... With the departure of Mistress Rarity and the kidnapped Prince of Equestria to their lover's nest... Both siblings began to feel apprehensive and uneasy as they were both shown to their separate rooms."
The doors to the blue box close once more, as a television screen flickers alight to show Rainbow Dash and Pinkamina watching intently. The pink earth pony with the straight mane offers a bowl of popcorn towards the pegasus who grabs a hoof full with a grin.
Meanwhile, on the TV set, the video shows a large poster bed in a bedroom with the curtains drawn. In the shadow of the curtains can be seen Applejack trying to sleep. The door opens and the two ponies can see their Mistress Rarity sneak into the room. "Ooooh, this is gonna be an awesome prank, Pinkamina! Rarity thinks she's going into Prince Charming's room!"
The pink pony nods rapidly as she chomps a huge hoof full of popcorn. "I know, Dash. Just wait until she sees it's really that country pony's room!"
The teal pegasus then points with her hooves. "Oooh, look! They both just found out! Look at 'em arguing and fighting! Woo! AJ’s winning the wrestling match!"
Pinkamina stares at the screen, then taps Dash's shoulder. "Um, hon...? That's not wrestling."
Rainbow Dash waves it off. "Of course it is! See? That country-fied pony just pinned Mistress Rarity down... And now she's looking her in the eyes... And now her muzzle... Is going lower... And now AJ's... Yelling between Rarity's flanks!? Oh, come on now!"
The teal pegasus storms out of the room suddenly and down the hall. Walking to a door marked 'writer'. she starts banging her hoof angrily on the door until it finally opens with a click. Sitting at an old typewriter sits a black unicorn stallion with a faded rainbow mane. From his muzzle dangles a lit cigarette as he looks up from his typing. "Yes, Dash? Can I help you?"
The pegasus zips forward, looking eye to eye with the unicorn stallion as she huffs. "Really? Yuri shipping? That doesn’t include me!? You were doing such a great job until that point, Roy! It was funny and yet canon! Why did you make AJ and Rarity start having sex?"
The black unicorn shrugs, drawing in on his cigarette before using his magic to flick the ashes. "Rainbow Dash, it's a fanfic! A crappy fanfic! It's not supposed to make sense! Besides, I told them to just have a fight! They're the ones who went off script, not me!"
From the corner, in rolls Twilight Sparkle in a wheel chair, the purple unicorn wearing a blanket over her lap as she fumes. "At least you all get lots of screen time! I don't show up until the very end because I play Doctor Sparkle!"
The blue box opens its doors as Doctor Whoof pokes his head out. "Did you call me, Twilight?"
Twilight facehooves and sighs. "No, I didn't Doctor. I said I was playing a Doctor!"
Pinkamina pokes her head into the room and gasps! "Oooh, are we having a cast party in here?"
The black unicorn looks over and sighs deeply. "No, Pinkie, we're just discussing what to do about AJ & Rarity going off script and having sex!"
Pinkie Pie lets out a giggle, her straight hair poofing back up to its regular style as she grins. "Oooh, that's nothing! You should see what Big Mac an' Fluttershy are doing, and Fluttershy isn't even IN this movie!"
The unicorn coughs loudly, his cigarette falling from his muzzle tip as he fumes. "WHAT!?" Spinning in his chair, he turns on a monitor before changing the channel to Big Mac's room. As he watches, Roy's face begins to pale as he starts to whimper. "My male ego... Ruined... By a damn cartoon!"
Rainbow Dash leans onto the unicorn's left side as she shakes her head. "Damn, no wonder why Fluttershy always walks funny. That's gotta hurt!"
Pinkie Pie leans on the unicorn's right as she grins. "Wow, he really IS Big McIntosh!" A weird noise can be heard behind the pair as they all three turn to see Twilight Sparkle and Doctor Whooves both clopping.
At this final broach of Out Of Character-ness, the black unicorn throws up his hooves. "That's it! That's it! We're getting too silly! We need to end this story!"
Sweetie Belle trots into the room and pouts. "Aw, but I still have my stage number to do!"
The unicorn turns and smiles to the filly. "Yes, but now you don't die."
The filly ponders for a moment, then gives a quick nod. "Okay, go ahead an' end it! I forgot to study the lines for my death scene anyhow!"
The black unicorn sighs deeply. "Oy, vey... How did this story get so screwed up so fast?"
"THAT WOULD BE ME!" The loud female voice could be heard as a curtain is pulled away, revealing a brown unicorn mare with blonde, orange and tan streaks in her mane and tail. Twirling a villain mustache, she giggles wickedly. "It is I, Butterscotch Sundae! Come to take my revenge on you Roy for using me and my creations as convenient plot devices! Just like you're doing right now!"
The black stallion unicorn bangs his head onto the desk before sighing. "That's it! It's now officially too silly! Story's over, I can't write any more!"
The tan unicorn blinks and gives a pouting face. "But, I wanted to see how it ends!"
The black unicorn shrugs. "Rocks fall, everypony dies."
Sweetie Belle blinks. "But that makes no sense!"
Roy glowers. "ROCKS FALL! EVERYPONY DIES!"
And suddenly rocks fall and everypony dies.
P.S. But because they're all ponies, they all survive and live crazily ever after. Except for Doctor Whooves & Twilight Sparkle who were forced to join Cloppers Anonymous, and Fluttershy who once again had trouble walking for a week, and finally Rarity & Applejack who still to this day deny they did anything at all behind closed doors.
OR WAS IT!? Now, by popular demand, go read Part Two of the Rarity Horror Fashion Show! Now with more crossdressing and innuendo!
A black unicorn trotted out onto a barren theater stage as he used his right forehoof to brush his pastel rainbow mane out of his eyes. Setting the forehoof back down on the ground, a female voice to his left called out, "Hey! Roy! You need to get those fetlocks of yours shorn"!
As he turned, he saw a light brown unicorn sitting in one of the movie seats as she tapped her hoof impatiently. The male unicorn just shrugged and sighed. "Butterscotch, you know I prefer my fetlocks unshorn. It just feels better that way. More Stallionish. Besides, Gummi likes them unshorn..." Turning to trot towards the edge of the stage, the ebony unicorn tilted his head questioningly towards his mare friend. "And for that matter, what are you doing here?"
The caramel-colored unicorn laughed, her body shaking lightly to cause her multi-hued mane to bounce as she did so. "Ah, Roy... Roy, Roy, Roy... I'm here to make you finish what you started, old stallion. You were writing a Rocky Horror Picture Show crossover with Friendship is Magic, and I intend on making you finish it!"
A frown crossed the male unicorn's muzzle as she just shook his head. "I did finish that, Butters. Rocks fell, and everyone died."
The female unicorn sighed sadly. "Poor Roy. You know you're only halfway done, and you owe it to your fans to finish the story... Nay, to the very movie itself!"
Roy's horn glowed lightly with a white light, summoning over his Sherlock pipe and filling it with some pipe tobacco. As he lit the dried leaves with a match, he puffed and fumed to himself. "I was doing well until you showed up. And I bet you only want me to finish the story 'cause Richard O'Brien's a Kiwi."
The mare just shrugged non-commitaly. "Ah, it was all in good fun, you know that! And besides... Kiwis need more love! They're not from Oz like I am originally, but they are still pretty awesome in their own right. So show them some love, and get these ponies cross-dressing!"
The stallion's look narrowed as he glared at the other unicorn. "Ah, I see the real reason now. You want to read about panty-covered pony plots." The male let out a sigh and shook his head. "Fine, fine... You and everyone else who wants it, here's the ending of the story..." The lights on the stage suddenly went dark as music begins to fill the air...
The Rarity Horror Fashion Show Part 2
By Roy G. Biv
Pony fiction (ooh ooh ohh)
Pinkie Pi-i-i-ie (ooh ooh ooh)
Is one strange creature.
See dragons fighting (ooh ooh ooh)
Spike and Twilight.
Snips and Snails (ooh ooh ooh)
Are not too bright.
Whoa oh oh, oh ohhhhhh...
At the fan-service.... Rarity Horror... Fashion Show...
Applejack trotted towards the elevator fuming, the county pony's tail swishing behind her in an irritated manner as she cursed under her breath. "Horse apples! That there fancy mare done took advantage of me an' then flew tha' coop! Headache my eye, she jus' done got hers and left! When I get my hooves on her, I'll... I'll... Well, I don't re'kon I know what I'll do, but it won't be pretty!"
As the earth pony glanced about the dimly lit hallway, her brow knitted in worry as her voice's pitch raised to showcase her unease. "What a durn' minute here... Where's Big Mac? An' for that matter, where's anybody?" Pausing, the pony's chest began to rise and fall - the pony trying to breathe deeply to calm herself as she felt the worry deepen in her mind. "Oh, if only we hadn't traveled through the woods! An' if only that there done cart didn't break down! If only we were among nice decent pony folk!"
Breaking into a run, the earth pony galloped quickly towards the end of the hall, the equine slamming the doors open to find herself in the lab once more. Glancing about, she saw a monitor in the corner as her worry turned to rage. "Big Mac! What did they do to you!" Stomping her hooves on the tiled floor, the mare made her way to the monitor and pulled the switch. There, on the screen, was a passed out Big Macintosh on a bed with Rarity and Fluttershy both smoking cigarettes with very pleased smiles upon their muzzles. Her face fell as her tail drooped; a forlorn tone filling her voice as she nickered out, "Oh, Big Mac... How could you... With two mares at once? And one of them being my Rarity?"
As the screen shut itself off, the earth pony fell to the floor, her eyes beginning to brim with tears as she started to allow the sadness to overtake her. That is, until she heard a muffled groan from the bedchambers adjoining the lab. Applejack rose up curiously, the earth pony trotting towards the closed curtain and pulling it aside to see what was happening. There, chained with an ankle cuff to the bed, laid Prince Blueblood - his rump covered in red welts as if from a riding crop. The royal pony lifted his muzzle, a gag in his muzzle as he tried to groan again for help.
Gasping in shock, AJ trotted to the head of the bed, laying a gentle hoof atop the regal unicorn's mane and stroking it gently. "What in tarnation...? Did they do this to ya'?" The unicorn stallion merely nodded as Applejack looked away. "Horse apples..." It was then that the pony began to hatch an idea in her head. She looked back to the monitor.... Then to Prince Blueblood... Then back to the monitor... Then back to Prince Blueblood as a wicked grin spread across her muzzle. Slipping into the bed next to the stallion, the earth pony snuggled up against the stallion, her nostrils flaring as she inhaled the heavy scent of a virile stallion all to herself.
Meanwhile, in another room, Pinkamina and Sweetie Belle both sat in Sweetie Belle's room, the foal wearing a Deadmaus hat and an oversized Skrillex shirt as a nightgown while Pinkamina wore a proper nightgown. The two of them giggled to themselves, watching the earth pony seducing the stallion as they nickered out together, "Tell us about it, Applejack!" Then the room began to ring with their peals of laughter.
Meanwhile, in the lab, AJ stroked her left hoof over Prince Blueblood's head - letting her hoof dip down to lightly caress the stallion's chest as she licked her lips. From the corner, DJ Pon-3 slid out of an alcove to start a soft melody as Applejack felt the need to sing along to it. "I was feelin' a mite shut in... I would always win... But applebuckin' had become a chore... I thought there was no use lettin'... My feelin's for mares an' stallions awaken... It'd only lead to trouble an'... foal gettin'."
Rolling atop the stallion, the earth pony straddled him as a hungry look filled her eyes. "Mmm, but all I wanna know... Is how to go... I've tasted lust an' I want more..." Reaching down with a hoof, she unbuckles the strap holding the Prince's gag into place, the earth pony pulling it from the unicorn's muzzle and throwing it aside as she continues to sing. "I'll put up no resistance... I wanna buck your distance... I've got an itch to scratch an' need yer' assistance! B-b-b-b-buck me, I want ya' ta' make me dirty! Fill me, thrill me, complete me, unicorn of Canterlot!"
A wild look begins to fill the unicorn's eyes, his reprogramming by Rarity fighting with his feelings of a quite eager earth pony atop him. As the unicorn struggled with his inner dilemma, AJ's hooves began to slide down his powerful chest as she winked playfully. "Mmmm, An' if anythin' grows... Heh, why impose? I'll oil ya' up and rub ya' down... But that's just one small distraction... To tha' main attraction... You need free from Rarity... An' I need some action! B-b-b-b-buck me! I want ya' ta' make me dirty! Fill me! Thrill me! Complete me! Unicorn of Canterlot!"
In the bedroom, Pinkamina reaches for the remote and turns off the monitor. "Awww..." Sweetie Belle sad in a forlorn manner. "I wanted ta' see what they were doin'! Why were they wrestlin' like that on tha' bed, Pinkamina?"
The pink earth pony thought fast, and suddenly an idea popped in her head. "Oh, they were discussing dinner, you silly goose!"
The unicorn filly stared at the earth pony as her glare narrowed. "Dinner...? Are you serious!"
The earth pony merely nodded. "Why of course! Didn't you hear Applejack? She was singing, 'T-t-t-t-tacos, I want a burrito! Chili cheese chimichanga! Refried beans and rice!"
The filly slumped back into her chair, her forehooves folding across her chest as she pouted. "It didn't sound like that, but okay... Sounds like weird food, anyhow."
Meanwhile, in the lab, the two ponies found themselves lost to lust as Applejack's singing had taken on a passionate tone whilst they rolled about in the large bed. "OH! B-b-b-b-buck me! I want ya' ta' make me dirty! Fill me! Thrill me! Complete me! Unicorn of Canterlot!"
The view then pans away to Big Mac looking questioningly as he nickers out, "Unicorn of Canterlot...?"
Next, it switches to Rarity smiling in a sultry way as she nickers out musically, "Mmmm, Unicorn of Canterlot, yes..."
This is followed by Rainbow Dash licking her lips, her wings fully extended upwards as she nickers out, "Heh, unicorn of Canterlot..."
Then Pinkamina's face takes up the whole picture, her straight mane covering the right side of her face as she sings in a rich and deep voice, "Oh, unicorn of Canterlot..."
Sweetie Belle then shoves Pinkamina aside and lets out a powerful belting in a gospel style. "UNICORN OF CANTERLOT!"
Afterwards, Prince Blueblood's face appears with a pleased smile upon his muzzle, "Unicorn of Canterlot!"
Finally, Applejack tossed back her head, her equine brow beaded with sweat as she whinnied out happily, "Unicorn of Canterlot! Aaaaaaaaaaah!" But, pleasure was not to be had for the pony couple as the sound of a riding crop filled their ears accented by Rainbow Dash screaming after each strike. Prince Blueblood's horn began to glow, closing the curtains to the boudoir just before the elevator into the lab reaches the lab.
The metal grate doors open, and out slides Rainbow Dash on the floor, her rump covered in red streaks as she whinnies out, "MERCY!"
Rarity trots out of the elevator, the white unicorn wearing her black lace teddy, silk black panties over her plot, and fishnets on her rear legs. Over her withers and forelegs the fashionista wore a leather jacket and perched atop her mane was a leather cap. Her horn was aglow with magic, and floating next to her was a riding crop illuminated by magic. The unicorn mare glared at the teal pegasus as her brow knit in frustration. "What happened!? I thought you were to be watching him!"
The pegasus looked up and swallowed nervously. "Jeez, I was only away for a moment..."
The ebony unicorn rose the riding crop menacingly. "Doing what exactly?"
A blush rises in the pegasi's face as her wings begin to rise up into the air. "Eheh... Um, clopping?"
The riding crop slaps down across Rainbow Dash's rump again as the mare lets out a whinny of protest. Rarity nods smugly and nods towards the corner. "Well, go see if you can find my darling prince on the monitor!" Giving another swat with her riding crop, the teal pegasus dashes across the floor towards the monitor to begin fiddling with dials and switches - Rainbow Dash working quickly to find Prince Blueblood on the castle's cameras.
While the pegasus frantically searches, Big Mac nervously trots out of the elevator and looks between the scared and beaten pegasus and the furious unicorn. Deciding to keep his muzzle closed for now, he just quietly watches for now. Suddenly, from the corner, Rainbow Dash calls out, "Mistress! Mistress Rarity! We have a visitor!"
The unicorn trots over as regally as possible to peer at the screen. There, via the cameras, she spies a purple unicorn sitting in a wheelchair using her magic to open the front door. Big Mac trots over towards the screen and blinks. "Hey, Twilight!"
Rainbow Dash peered at Big Macintosh as her brow furrowed. "You know this Celestian?" Rarity's riding crop slapped suddenly across Dash's rump once more as she cried out in pain. "Ow! Quit it! I mean, you know this pony?"
Big Mac nodded happily. "Well, 'course I do! Twilight Sparkle is a friend of mine!"
Rarity turned, her menacing glare boring through the brawny earth pony as she smiled wickedly. "I see... So this wasn't just a chance meeting... You came here on PURPOSE!"
As Rarity began trotting towards him, that menacing riding crop waving in the air magically, the work pony starts trotting backwards nervously. "I-uh... I tol' ya' my cart broke down. I was tellin' tha' truth!"
The unicorn turned up her nose at Big Mac's answer and spoke in a haughty tone. "This unicorn's name is not unknown to me..."
The crimson earth pony blinked once in disbelief. "Well, she's the librarian at Ponyville's library..."
Rarity fumed in anger. "She's also attached to Princess Celestia's Magical Defense Force researching what you would call friendship! Is this not so?"
Big Mac swallowed, his eyes darting towards that menacing riding crop worriedly. "I-ah... I don't know... Maybe...?"
Rainbow Dash then coughs. "The intruder has entered the building, Mistress Rarity..."
Looking towards Rainbow Dash, the pony gallops towards the screen and grasps a switch with her magic. "Then let us meet Twilight Sparkle... IN PERSON!" Flipping the switch, the magnet suddenly comes to life with a hum. Down in to foyer, Twilight Sparkle's wheelchair comes to life on it's own as she's yanked through the house, around Pinkamina and Sweetie Belle in their bedroom, and then up the stairs. Suddenly, Twilight Sparkle and her wheelchair burst through the lab's wall. Looking bewildered for a moment, the unicorn then let out a worried neigh as her chair is yanked by the magnet down the ramp, across the floor, and finally right next to Rarity and Rainbow Dash.
As Rarity rests a forehoof into Twilight's blanket covered lap, Twilight looks towards the other unicorn as she sits back in her wheelchair. "Rarity... We meet at last..."
Big Mac trot over and waves a hoof. "Heya, Twi'..."
The purple unicorn does a double-take. "Big Mac, what are you doing here!?"
Rarity's riding crop slaps menacing onto Twilight's wheel chair, causing the other unicorn and the earth pony to jump back in shock. "Oh, don't be so coy, Twilight..." Rarity's sultry voice did little to hide the catty anger hidden behind it. "I know all about how Big Mac and his 'sister' were sent here to check out the lays for you... Well, I can assure you that plans are to be changed."
Twilight folded her forehooves together as she glared at Big Mac. "I can assure you that Big Macintosh being here is a complete surprise to me. I came here to find Spike."
Big Mac started forward. "Twi', I done seen Spike, he's..."
Rarity rose a hoof to cover the earth pony's muzzle tip as she glared at the other unicorn. "Spike? What do you happen to know about Spike?"
Twilight just smiled wider. "I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things, as Princess Celestia's private student. You see, Spike happens to be... My Assistant!"
From behind the adjoining bedroom's curtains came a gasp from Applejack. Rarity's horn glows to life further, opening the curtains to reveal Prince Blueblood and Applejack trying to hide under the silken sheets. Twilight turns her head and lets out a gasp. "Applejack!"
The female earth pony turns to look at Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle!"
Then the male earth pony speaks up. "Applejack!"
She then turns to look at her brother. "Big Mac!"
Rarity then stomps her hoof in frustration. "My Prince!" Prince Blueblood just looks adoringly at Rarity as her voice retriggers his mental conditioning. Rarity fumes angrily. "Listen, Prince! I kidnapped and reprogrammed you! And I can BREAK YOU just as easily!"
Suddenly, a gong is rang and Pinkamina stands atop the ramp in her maid's uniform. "Mistress! The midnight snack is prepared!"
Rarity tosses her mane back as a haughty look crosses her face. "Excellent. Given the recent events, Gala Dresses are to be OPTIONAL!"
Doctor Whooves sits behind his desk, the stallion earth pony swirling a fish stick in custard as he nods hello. "Ah, let's see... Food has always been important to modern ponies. Why, even the Weeping Ponies need the food of our potential in life to survive! There's even the famous last meal of a condemned pony. But with this meal, and its informal garb, quite the scene is about to take place to finish rounding out our sordid tale. Let's watch and see what happens, shall we?"
The scene returns to a dining room, and all the ponies sitting around a long table. From the kitchen Pinkamina wheels in a covered meal cart as Rainbow Dash flies about to fill the glasses of each pony with punch. As Pinkamina reaches Rarity, the elegant unicorn uses her magic to lift up the tray - revealing a tray of beautifully decorated cupcakes. Lifting each cupcake with her magic, the fashionista lifts a cupcake to the plate of each pony around the table.
As the ponies move to take a bite of the cupcakes, Twilight Sparkle coughs. "We... Came here to discuss Spike."
Sweetie Belle lets out a gasp of shock. "Spike!"
Rarity shoots a dark glare at her sister before nickering out, "Mmmm, Spike... That's a rather tasty topic of discussion. Another cupcake, anyone?" Suddenly, a single thought appears on the faces of Twilight Sparkle, Big Macintosh, Applejack & Sweetie Belle as they in unison push the cupcakes as far from themselves as they can. Sweetie Belle rises from her spot, tears beginning to brim her young eyes as she whimpers out, "E-excuse me..." Galloping out of the room, she closes the door behind her as her young voice bellows out in anguish, "Oh no! Applebloom is gonna KILL ME! I promised her Spike'd be okay!"
As Prince Blueblood continues eating his cupcake unawares, Twilight Sparkle glares across the table at a smiling Rarity. "I knew Spike ran with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined... Lunatarins."
Big Mac & Applejack let out a gasp in shock as Rarity just lets out a haughty laugh. "Go on, Twilight Sparkle... Or, shall I call you Twilight Sparkle, Celestia's Lover!"
The crimson earth pony rises to his hooves, glaring at Rarity as a bemused Rainbow Dash & Pinkamina look on. "Just what are ya' implyin', ya' harlot?"
The purple unicorn calls out, "IT'S ALL RIGHT!" As all eyes turn to her, a blush rises in her cheeks as she laughs nervously. "Eh-heh... I mean, it's all right, Big Mac. SOME ponies at this table just can't be honest with their feelings for other mares." The learned pony gives a knowing look between Applejack and Rarity as the orange earth pony now begins to blush. Rarity, meanwhile, just looks away with a haughty look. "Why, I have no idea what you are talking about, of course."
Applejack coughs at that. "She's talking about what we did in my room, you stubborn fashionista."
Rarity glares towards Applejack as her teeth clench in anger. "I thought we agreed never to talk about that, dear Applejack. NOTHING HAPPENED!"
Big Mac looked between his sister and Rarity questioningly. "But, I thought... I mean... Didn't you an' that Prince... But then you also..."
Applejack let out a heavy sigh. "Oh, Big Bro... I'll explain it to you later over some VERY big jugs of hard cider, all right?"
Sweetie Belle then bursts back into the room, a look of fury upon her face as she gallops up to head butt her sister's left thigh. "I've had enough! First you toss me aside, your own DAUGHTER that you still insist is just your sister..."
Rarity lets out a gasp in shock, her right hoof rising to her chest. "Sweetie Belle! I told you that you're JUST my sister! Really!"
Sweetie Belle just laughs at that. "Sure, that's why I was born two years AFTER our supposed parents died! But that's not the point! You tossed me aside for poor Spike! And then you betrayed his unending love by using him to brainwash Prince Blueblood here! You're like a sponge! You take, take, take and drain everything you can from us all! Element of Generosity, my rump! The only thing you give is your plot, and that's to get yourself ahead in the fashion world!"
Rarity glared down at Sweetie Belle as her magic began to alight in her horn. "That's it, I've had enough of you, little missy!" The table cloth upon the table awakens with the white unicorn's magic as she gives it a tug. With a tug its ripped off the tableto reveal the glass top. But, under the table, is a Basilisk in a cage. As Sweetie Belle, Twilight Sparkle, Big Macintosh and Applejack look into the eyes of the beast, they all become encased in stone.
Recovering the table to hide the beast's gaze, Rarity fixes her mane as she sighs deeply. "It's so hard to have a good time." Pulling out a large couch, the white unicorn flops atop it as she lets out a whine. "Augh! My daughter has turned against me! And Prince Blueblood has turned out to be just like Spike in going for mares OTHER than me!" She looks up at Rainbow Dash as a worried look crosses her face. "Did... Did I make a mistake, imprinting Spike's love onto Prince Blueblood?"
Pinkamina suddenly throws down the tray of cupcakes as she glares at Rarity angrily. "Ooooh, I grow weary of Equestria! When are we going to return to the New Lunar Republic, huh!?"
Rarity turns and gives a sultry look towards the pink earth pony as she bats her eyes. "Ah, Pinkamina... I am indeed grateful towards you and your lover Rainbow Dash. You have both served me well in putting on this fashion show tonight. And loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded... You will discover that when the mood strikes me, I do live up to my reputation as the Element of Generosity."
Pinkamina stares at the unicorn for a moment in shock before whipping her head away. "I ask for nothing... from you!"
A hurt look crosses Rarity's face for but a moment, but is then replaces with a look of fury as she leaps to her forehooves. "Then you shall have it IN ABUNDANCE!" Stomping out of the dining room, she pauses to look back over her shoulder. "Come, we're ready for our final catwalk of the evening..." With that, she swishes her tail high in the air before walking out of the room.
After Rarity leaves, Spike peeks his head out of the kitchen and blinks. "What happened in here? Didn't they like the cupcakes I helped Pinkamina make?"
The scene shifts back to the inside of Doctor Whooves ship as he sits behind his desk. "Allonsy! It seems Big Mac & Applejack ended up meeting their friend Twilight Sparkle after all! And, just a few hours after leaving Ponyville on a simple delivery, both earth ponies had tasted... Forbidden fruit." Leaning back in his chair, his forehooves fold together as he sighs. "This alone was proof their host was a pony of quite loose morals and the bisexual persuasion... Not that that is a bad thing, of course. Whatever happens in the T.A.R.D.I.S. when alone with Master Whooves stays in the T.A.R.D.I.S.!"
Looking to and fro nervously, the earth pony swallows. "Ah, where was I...? Oh, yes. But what of this catwalk Rarity had spoken of? In an empty castle? In the middle of the night? What diabolical vision had ensnared that designer's vision now? Indeed, from what had happened so far, it seemed that this was definitely not going to be a Ponyville Picnic..."
Upon a darkened stage, Rarity rushes about putting finishing touches on the statues of Twilight Sparkle, Big Mac, Prince Blueblood and Applejack. Touching up each statue's makeup, she nods approvingly at the intimate attire adorning each statue. Then, slipping behind a curtain, she gives a nod towards DJ Pon-3 who starts bobbing her head. The unicorn DJ's horn begins a strobe effect as house music begins to fill the theater's air.
Rarity's magic alights, a spell bolt shooting from her horn to strike Prince Blueblood first. The stone covering about the stallion unicorn begins to crack and splinter before exploding into harmless dust floating away behind the stallion. As a spotlight alights onto Prince Blueblood, it's revealed he's wearing black silk panties over his plot, and across his withers and chest is a matching black silk bra.
As the Prince begins strutting down the catwalk to show off the outfit, the next magical bolt zips through the air to strike Twilight Sparkle. As the stone cracks and explodes away, it reveals the purple unicorn in a schoolgirl outfit no academy would ever allow! The pleated skirt is far too short, and shows off the white cotton panties covering her plot. Her hind legs are covered in knee-high white socks, and her rear hooves are capped with Mary Jane shoes specially formed for pony hooves. Her upper body is adorned with a sheer white blouse with a dipping neckline, and resting upon her muzzle are a pair of decorative eyeglasses. Finally, it seems her mane has been reshaped into twin pigtails on each side of her face.
As the blushing unicorn mare starts trotting towards the catwalk, the third magic bolt leaps out to strike Big Mac's in the rump. As the stone explodes, it reveals Big Mac wearing a black G-String thong. The pouch in the full front has the pattern of a tuxedo vest upon it, and about his neck is a red bow tie. Squinting up at the spotlight, the earth pony just gives a shrug and starts to trot down the catwalk himself.
The final magical bolt strikes Applejack, and it reveals the earth pony to be in a finely detailed outfit. The pony is wearing a leather one piece bikini of sorts, and all four of her legs are covered in lacy black fishnets. Over her head are affixed reins, and in her muzzle is a bit. As the earth pony's nostrils flare in outrage, she glares at Rarity behind the curtain before trotting down the catwalk to join the others.
Rarity trots out onto the stage, back in her first outfit of the night as she waves out at the open air of the theater. "Thank you, thank you all! I am so proud of these final outfits."
"Final is so accurate of you, Rarity."
Rarity pauses, turning to see Rainbow Dash and Pinkamina in Shadowbolt costumes while Rainbow Dash holds a squirming blue unicorn in her forehooves. "Let go of me, you foolish ponies," the unicorn with a silver mane and tail begins. "I can't believe they cast me, the Great and Powerful Trixie, as the gun in this blasted movie!"
Rarity lets out a gasp, her forehooves rising to her muzzle in shock. "A... Gun!? But why? Why are you doing this, Rainbow Dash? Was not Princess Luna impressed with my fashion show?"
Pinkamina lets out a dark laugh as Rainbow Dash chuckles. "You're not as awesome as Pinkamina and I am, Rarity! So Princess Luna decreed you were to remain here in Equestria... After learning a lesson on how to not mistreat other ponies!"
Rarity turns, trying to run away, but Pinkamina is too quick. As Rainbow Dash aims Trixie's horn at the white unicorn, the pink earth pony's whips a riding crop across the blue unicorn's rump. As Trixie lets out a whinny of shock, her horn explodes a bolt of magic towards Rarity that explodes in to smoke as it hits.
As the smoke fades away, Rarity looks down at herself and gasps in horror. "Oh, my goodness! NOOOO! You... You dressed me in POLYESTER! Oh, this is WORSE THAN DEATH!" Pulling out her couch once more, the unicorn flops herself onto the couch as she tries to cover her face to deny she was now adorned head to hoof in a bright neon green polyester pantsuit straight out of the seventies.
As the other ponies came back from the end of the catwalk, Rainbow Dash nods towards them slowly. "Y'all should get out of here while you still can, and take Rarity with you. We're about to Sonic Rainboom this entire house back to the moon's New Lunar Republic in ten seconds flat."
Twilight Sparkle gasps loudly. "But... What of Sweetie Belle?"
Pinkamina gives a light giggle. "Oh, you silly pony! She's outside already with Spike who is still VERY much alive! Don't worry, I didn't make him into cupcakes! I have no idea how that silly rumor even started about me! I mean, pony and dragon-flavored cupcakes!? Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!"
A look of relief crossed Twilight's face as she and the rest of the group gathered up Rarity and headed out of the house quickly. Spitting out her bit, Applejack glared at the still whimpering Rarity. "Jus' wait till I get you home, Rarity! I'ma make you my personal mule for this!"
Rarity looks up, stars of hope in her eyes as she gasps. "You... You mean it? I mean, oh no! Not a mule! NOT A MULE!"
As the group heads out the doors, Rainbow Dash releases Trixie who gallops out the door after the group worriedly. Looking around the empty stage, the teal pegasus lets out a laugh. "Oh man, did you see that? That was the most AWESOME prank ever, Pinkamina!"
The pink pony nods and smiles brightly, her mane growing its normal poofiness as she giggles. "Oh, yes! And now, it's time to demolish the movie set!" Pulling down the goggles of her flight suit, she grins happily. "Ready to carry me, Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow Dash leaps into the air, the pegasus pulling on her goggles before swooping down to catch Pinkamina in her forehooves. "Mmm, I did promise to let you experience a Sonic Rainboom first hoof, didn't I? Well, let's do this!" Streaking up into the air, the pair breaks through the skylight and up into the night sky. Once high enough into the air, Pinkamina hugs her body tightly into Rainbow Dash's as she nuzzles the pegasus back. "Mmmmm, it's so cold up here! But it's warm with you, my love..."
Rainbow Dash blushes behind the flight suit as she nuzzles back lovingly. "Pinkie, we don't have time for that now... You know I love ya', too! But ya' gotta hold tight! It's time to destroy the movie set!" Turning downwards, the pair start streaking down towards the wooden castle in a twin streak of pink and rainbow. As they reach the house, an explosion of pink and rainbows radiates outwards to obliterate the entire structure into nothingness.
As a dust cloud fills the surrounding area, from out of the cloud trots Doctor Whooves who nods sagely outwards. "And crawling," he begins in a serious tone. "Upon Equestria's face. Some insects called the pony race. I'm lost in time and lost in space. And this movie had... No meaning." And with that, he steps into his T.A.R.D.I.S. and shuts the door, leaving nothing left in the clearing.