My Little Pony: Stuck in Equestria
By: Lucid !0oSwOEGDel
As Mike lumbered out of the wreckage, now fully recovered from barreling over the innocent food cart.
As he did, Twilight, Fluttershy and Spike, along with Rainbow Dash in air, ran to his side, ready to defend him from the possible backlash of the townsponies. Twilight moved in front on the human, preparing to defend him.
“Mayor it’s not what it looks like! It was an-” Twilight didn’t even get to finish his sentence as Mike pushed by her and presented himself in front of the Mayor.
“What are you doing?” Twilight whispered to the human.
He looked back at his unicorn friend. “I got this… I think.” He replied in the same tone. Mike turned back toward the crowd of ponies, now dead silent and patient for an explanation. He looked across them, identifying expressions that ranged from fear to pure curiosity of him. He cleared his throat and raised his hands in an addressing fashion.
“Citizens of Ponyville!” Mike boomed his voice over the ponies, now having their full attention. There was no backing down now. It was time to make himself known, and to pull a speech right out of his ass. “My name is Michael! I have traveled from a land far away from your Equestria, called… uh…” ‘Fuck, drawingablank drawingablank drawingablank.’ “… um… Humania! Yes, my great country of Humania! I come as an ambassador to your ruler under… good will and… peace!” As he finished his dialogue, Mike crossed his arms like the boss he believed himself to be at that moment. ‘I’m surprised I haven’t peed myself yet.’
The entire crowd gawked at the human after his speech. The Mayor looked past the ‘ambassador’ to the purple unicorn next to him. “Is this true, Twilight?”
What could she say in her position? No? She’d be lying to the entire town. But, they seemed to buy it.
“Yes, mayor. Dash, Fluttershy, and I met him on his way into town.”
“For someone who’s traveled so far, you surely don’t seem well equipped.” The mayor questioned. It was true, Mike had nothing but the clothes on his back.
“Yeah, about that. I ended up losing everything in that forest a ways up the road. What do you ponies call it?” Mike replied. Tying in an emergence from the Ever Free forests struck gold on the mayor’s face.
“My word, you ventured through the Ever Free forest without supplies?” The kaki pony raised in astonishment.
“Yeah. I almost ate my own hand, I was so hungry!” Mike added, holding up his right hand and looked at it enticingly for one second before putting it back down.
Aside from his most recent remark, the Mayor looked impressed with Mike, if not still out of amazement for his entire being. “Well if Twilight Sparkle vouches for you, then it’s good enough for me.” She turned to the crown of ponies behind her. “Everyone, I have an announcement! As your mayor I hereby decree that Michael, embassador of Humania, be welcomed in Ponyville as our guest for as long as he needs!”
At the Mayor’s declaration, every single pony in the crowd cheered for their new addition to Ponyville, who now stood with esteem as he looked over every single pony. Luckily, there was a bit more variation now that backround ponies weren’t all cloned of the computer. He picked several out of the crowd as they still applauded him, hell he could’ve swore he saw the wall-eyed Derpy hovereing over the crowd along with the rest of the pegasi.
As the citizens finally simmered down and dispersed back to their regular routines, Mike heard the pitter-patter of claws hitting the ground behind him. He turned around to notice Spike at his feet with a big grin on his face.
“Hi Mike, I’m Spike!” The baby dragon offered his hand to the human, and Mike was more than happy to shake it. “Cool, you have hands like mine!” Spike added, wiggling his clawed fingers. “Don’t worry about explaining yourself. Twilight gave me the short version when she barged through her door.”
“Phew, good thing! I was starting to run out of stuff to make up!” Mike said, relieved after telling a little ‘white lie’ to the entire town.
“Well, it’s not exactly the plan we had set up.” Twilight admitted, rolling her eyes. “How did you manage to make up all that stuff on the spot?” She asked.
Mike crossed his arms, and smiled triumphantly. “A little show called Whose Line is it Anyways.”
“Never heard of it.” The unicorn added, confused by the title.
“I know, it’s from my world. Don’t ask.” Mike responded indifferently.
“So, this is what all the ruckus is about?” The group turned to the new chiming accented voice.
‘I know that voice.’ thought Mike, as he looked to the three new, yet all-to-familiar, ponies. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack walked up to them, all eyes locked onto Mike.
“This is the all great ambassador that has graced our humble town?” Rarity inquired.
“Wow, you’re so tall, I think you even top over Big Mac!” Applejack added.
Twilight perked up as her friends joined them. “Rarity, he’s not really from Humania.” She explained.
“Whaaat? But that glorious speech! It was so appropriate and regal!” The white unicorn said, raising a hoof to her face in shock.
“Nope, made it all up.” Mike added, and then looked over at Applejack. “Sorry for destroying your apple cart, I was kind of in a hurry.” He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.
“Oh don’t ya worry ‘bout that. Guess that what happens when ah leave Applebloom to tend the stall.” The little yellow and red pony inched out from behind her big sister.
“Sarry big sis.” Applebloom spoke, her bottom lip quivering
Mike looked down at the baby pony’s face, which melted his heart instantly. ‘dammit, it’s cuter in person!’
“Now wait hold on, Applejack. I destroyed the cart; I should repay you for it.” Mike reached into his pockets only to realize that not only would American currency not work here, but he also didn’t have his wallet in his magically-appeared pants. “Um… nevermind.”
“Aw shoot. Don’t kill yaself over it. If ya want, you can help over at Sweet Apple Acres any time ya want.” Applejack countered.
Everybody had realized they haven’t heard a comment from their most energetic addition yet. Everyone, including Mike looked over at Pinkie Pie, who was staring at the human with the biggest grin she could possible form on her face.
“Girls, you know what this means…?” She finally spoke up, practically twitching in anticipation.
None of them needed to say anything as they all knew what went on in the pink pony’s head when a newcomer came to town, especially Twilight.
“A PARTYYYYYYY!!!!!” Pinkie, defying gravity itself, shot in the air, flailing her hooves wildly as streamers and confetti exploded out into existence behind her; along with invisible noise makers complimenting the display.
Every pony cheered at the inevitable that was Pinkie’s famous newcomer parties. Even Mike pumped his fists in the air at the pony’s announcement. He knew all too well about her parties from the show, and even for a guy at 20, they looked fun as hell.
As expected, Pinkie Pie’s party, which was held once again at Twilight’s tree house, was a town-wide success. Practically every single pony had squeezed their way into the unicorn’s home, much to Mike’s surprise. Due to his height, the entire dwelling (and assorted party stuff) had felt smaller to him than the ponies, but he managed well enough. Although pinning the tail on the pony wasn’t anything he hasn’t played before, he found it eerie he was still good at it after a full decade of not even thinking of the game. He did however love the sarsaparilla, topping any root beer or birch beer he’d ever had.
During the party, many ponies he had previously known as background names, as well as new ones, had flooded him with questions. They would actually form a ring around him as he sat in the chair and they listened as he answered question after question. Mostly, Mike had to set advancement back to the 60’s when technology was brought up. Television, radio, and even automobiles had to be set back several decades for it to even remotely fit with the ponies’ own era of understanding. He explained how, because they didn’t use magic, humans made and did everything by hand; from plowing fields, to fabricating the most delicate pieces of a watch. When the topic of weather arouse, he would say the seasons just happened naturally, and would have to adapt when climates got overbearing. The sun and moon was the most difficult; when asked, Mike would try to steer the conversation away, usually settling on that humans assumed the celestial beings moved on their own. Luckily, this satisfied every pony curious to go that far.
Once he started bringing up the human’s omnivorous diet, most of the conversations halted, but he would reassure them he didn’t eat ponies. It was an easy way to get some fresh air and make more stuff up for the crowd.
As the party crawled into the night, ponies started pouring out of Twilight’s home, saying their goodbyes to each other. Eventually, only Twilight’s close friends stayed, to help clean up. Even Mike pitched in cleaning up the trash and used party accessories. At the moon’s peak in the starry-lit sky, everyone but Mike, Spike, and Twilight remained. The purple dragon was already up in his bed, dead asleep from his crazy party antics. Mike, who was feeling the sand in his eyes himself, headed up to the study where his host was diligently reading. Like he would’ve guessed anything else.
“How are still able to read after a party like that?” Mike asked in astonishment. The purple unicorn didn’t even look exhausted from the event before.
“Trust me, when you’ve been to enough of Pinkie’s parties, you get used to it. How about you?” Twilight replied.
Mike crossed his arms at the thought of the party. “Ya know, for a dry stag, it was a lot more fun than I usually have.”
“That’s good, I guess.” Twilight wasn’t really sure what a ‘stag’ was but she was pretty sure it was some sort of party to Mike. “I’ve been looking at some of the books I had on nonstandard magic and its uses.”
“You’re already looking to find a way to get me back? What, you don’t like my company?” Mike said in a sarcastic fashion.
“It’s not that. I’ve never even heard of such powers that have been… applied to what you need to get home.” The pony flipped through several more pages. “So far, nothing I have nothing that even comes close. I think we might need Celestia’s help with this one.”
“And when will we get to meet the Princess?”
“I’ll have Spike send Princess Celestia a letter first thing tomorrow. If anypony is going to know that sort of magic, it will be her.” Twilight reassured, putting the now finished book back into the space on the shelf.
“Oh good! Then I could take Rarity up on her offer.” Mike said, with an uneasy enthusiasm.
“What’s that mean?” Twilight asked.
“Apparently she wanted to size me up for a suit or something she wanted to make me. Ya know, if we ever went to Canterlot or something like that.” Mike rolled his eyes, dispelling the thought. “Anyway, let’s not rush anything now. We don’t exactly have to sprint me back to my world.” Mike added, surprised by his own reply of wanting to prolong his stay here.
“Why? Don’t you have family and friends back where you’re from?” Twilight gave him a perplexing look.
“Well… it’s… complicated.” Mike stuck is hands in his pockets, and shrugged his shoulders. “You see,
Twilight, my world is nowhere as calm and simple as the one you live in…”
Twilight’s full attention on him now, knowing she’d finally get some closure on where he new friend had originated from. She let him continue.
“My world isn’t exactly the plane of magic and friendship like here. I can’t flick on the news channel without hearing about how ‘these people were gunned down by some maniac’ or how ‘seven hundred people died in this natural disaster’. Governments are controlled by greed and power, everybody wants each other’s money, and thousands die every day from starvation and disease alone.” Mike paused, letting the unicorn absorb the information. “I’ve spent the last two decades of my life learning and being told what to do by others. My family life isn’t exactly what I’d like it to be either. It’s just kinda… nice to just take in the serenity of such a peaceful world like this for a while.” He finished, letting out a knowing sigh.
“Trust me when I say it, I’m not missing anything urgent back home.”
Twilight was completely dumbstruck. Although he had been blunt, she had never heard of so much corruption happening at once. She couldn’t fathom on how to cope with all what he’d said if she’d been there herself. “I’m sorry, Mike, I didn’t know.”
He threw a hand up in defense. “Eh, don’t worry about it. It’s not as bad as it sounds.” Feeling this was as far as the conversation was going to go, Mike shuffled a boot on the wood floor, and stretched his arms over his head. “Well, I’m going to bed. Is there anywhere I can crash for the night?” He knew Twilight had at least one extra bed from Bridle Gossip.
“Actually I have a spare for when I have some of the girls over for slumber parties. It should be in the guest room.” The unicorn acknowledged, pointing to a room on the second floor on the other side of the house.
‘Ha! Way too easy!’ Mike declared in his mind. “Thanks a lot, Twilight, for everything. I guess… I’ll see you in the morning. We’ll figure this out then.”
“Okay, goodnight Mike, I think I’m going to stay up a bit later, maybe I’ll find something useful.”
“Well, don’t kill yourself over it.” Mike made his way up the carved-in stairs and up to the guest room.
“I’m not in any rush at all.” He left Twilight to her musings as he finished ascending the steps and towards the room. The bed, as expected, was definitely not suited for someone his size, but he’d make do. He didn’t even bother throwing the blanket over as his back his center-mass of the soft mattress; it was warm both outside and inside and didn’t feel he needed it. His ankles easily dangled over the foot of the bed. As his head rested on the pillow, his head filled with so many questions.
What was happening back in his world without him there? Was time going by without him? When he returned, will he just end up back right when he left?
Mike put his hands behind his head, letting out a huff. At least he hadn’t told Twilight about all of Equestria being a cartoon show. He didn’t feel it was the best thing to bring up… ever. That one fanfic he had read made it perfectly clear that /co/ would’ve made his issues shoot through the roof of his new home. He figured it wasn’t worth wasting any more energy on those thoughts tonight.
As he closed his eyes to try to sleep, Mike smirked as he finally realized he’d never gotten any sleep in the first place. He’d make a note of it to fix that… right now.
‘Maybe staying won’t be a bad option after all.’
Mike was completely taken aback at the moon princess looking up at him.
“Princess Luna?” Mike asked rhetorically.
The princess perked up at her name being said by her guest. “Yes. You’ve heard of me?”
He took no time in setting his composure again. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? You’re Celestia’s sister, after all. You practically rule Equestria.”
“Oh yes… of course. Well, I wouldn’t exactly say ‘rule’ yet.” Luna stumbled over her words from the rare attention.
“Princess Luna.” The familiar voice of Twilight was heard down an aisle next to them. She appeared seconds after with Spike at her side.
Luna turned towards “Twilight Sparkle! It’s very… good to see you.”
“What are you doing up here?” The unicorn asked.
“I have been brushing up on Equestrian history and culture. Being trapped in the moon for one thousand ears tends to take a while to catch up on.”
Mike scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably as an awkward silence filled the library.
“Uhh… Spike and I are gonna go look over there. Come on Spike.” He finally said, pointing in some random direction and started walking that way, dragon in tail.
The human and dragon wandered off to another section of the archives, leaving the two ponies by themselves. The younger princess figured to break the peace.
“I never got the chance to personally apologize to you and your friends, as well as thank you for… what you did…” Luna said uneasily.
“It’s quite alright, Princess. Celestia’s forgiven you, and so have I.”
A smile formed on Luna’s features at the unicorn’s acceptance. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. That means a lot.”
“OW! Dammit!” Mike’s pained curse echoed throughout the library, alerting the two ponies.
They quickly maneuvered through the aisles of books finding Spike high up on a ladder and Mike holding his nose, a trickle of blood leaking from his cupped hand.
“Mike, are you alright?” Twilight asked, concerned of the human’s injury.
“Spike dropped a twenty-pound book right on my face!” Mike removed his hand to look at the small amount of blood staining his palm. “Nice.”
“I said I was sorry, and it wasn’t twenty pounds!”
“Oh dear. We should get you to the infirmary.”
“Nah, give me a moment.” Mike pinched the bridge of his nose and tipped his head back for a few seconds. He drew an audible breath in from his nose and tilted it back to its normal position. Instantly, his nose was now blood free and no longer running, except for a bit dried up around the outside. “There we are, all clotted!”
“Wow, just like that?” Amazed, Twilight stared at Mike’s healed injury.
“Yeah, my nose is used to it. Like magic, hehe!”
“Ha ha.” She could barely contain her sarcasm.
The princess looked down at the offending book and hovered it to her face, flipping through the contents. She furrowed her brow at the title: “Powerful and Forgotten Spells”.
Luna looked at them almost suspiciously.“What are you three looking for exactly?”
Both Twilight and Spike gave each other an uncertain stare, not exactly sure if Celestia’s younger sister deserved the truth as well.
“We’re looking for a spell that’ll send me back to my own world.” Mike said, completely oblivious until now looking at his two companions. “Oooooh, were we supposed to be lying?” He looked at the moon goddess. “Luna, forget what I just said just now. Alright you two, let’s huddle up and think of a good lie to tell her.”
The two shot daggers at him as he grinned like an idiot, snickering. He finally settled down and continued. “No. In all seriousness, I’m from a completely different realm of existence and we’re looking for a spell to send me back.”
Luna looked up at the human and then at her sister’s pupil. “Is this true, Twilight Sparkle?”
The unicorn let out a sigh of relief. “I’m afraid so, Princess. Everything Mike said is genuine.”
The dark blue pony thought over Twilight’s confirmation for a few seconds.
“My, how fascinating!” Luna proclaimed, taking the three off guard. “A being from a different world! In all my eternal life, I would have never thought I’d see the day!” Her eyes beamed with an amazement that only rivaled Twilight’s first time entering the archives when she was young. “You must tell me everything about your world. What’s it like?”
Mike, who was still taken back by Luna’s odd reaction, could only muster a small remark. “Uh, a lot different than this one.”
Luna pouted. “That will simply not do! What about where you’re from, specifically? How about who sets and raises your sun and moon?”
“Actually, Mike, I was wondering about that myself. Aside the stuff you spewed at Pinkie’s party, you haven’t really told us anything about yourself or your Earth.” Twilight added, all curiousness aside.
Mike exhaled audibly and drew a hand over his eyes, rubbing them. “Fine, alright. Pull up a chair or something, this is going to take a while.”
For the next several hours, Mike pretty much talked about whatever Luna, Twilight, and even Spike wanted to know about him. He started off with where he grew up and general information about himself. Then he ended up getting into world structure, both politically and economically, at Twilight’s request. Spike had asked him more mundane questions, like what kind of technology his world had or if there were any other ponies. He explained to Luna, much to her disappointment, how his (our) solar system was set up: with the Sun being in the middle and the rest of the special bodies being pulled around it by gravity, completely destroying the need for magical entities to do the job.
The one subject he had them brace for was humanity’s dominance over Earth, and how the ‘intelligence’ levels tipped in their favor… a lot. He explained it as, “Okay, this hand up at my head represents yours and my level of thought. And this hand down here represents every animal in my world.” He actually rethought the last part. “You know what, forget that hand. It’s just where my foot is.” It wasn’t accurate, but he got his point across.
It also didn’t help that he continued on and clarified that his ‘ponies’ were used for labor and gambling, and were sometimes treated horrifically. In every term of the phrase, he ‘dropped the ball’ on everything the ponies and dragon wanted to know, and it left them speechless.
“Anything else, or are you all still… you know?” Mike finished, leaning back on the chair he had found hours ago.
The two ponies and dragon stared out into space for what seemed like an eternity, fully absorbing the information Mike had told them. It was sure quite a realization for all of them.
“A sun and moon that control themselves. It seems so much… easier…” Luna trailed off, in a zombie-like trance.
“Man, I want a PSP so bad!” Spike slumped his shoulders in disappointment.
Twilight shook herself back to the ‘now’ and looked at her human friend. “Mike, that’s certainly a… wow. I’m glad I live here.”
“It’s not so bleak when you’re part of the dominant race, trust me.” Mike admitted. He was going to continue, when he noticed Luna still daydreaming next to them.
“Princess Luna?” Twilight asked the blue pony, with no response.
Mike waved his hand in front of her face, and then snapped his fingers three times in front of her face. The audible clicks jogged the princess back to reality.
Luna blushed out of embarrassment. “Oh my, so sorry. I tend to drift in my own thoughts. You were very… enlightening, Michael. Thank you. ”
“As long as it doesn’t spread any farther than you three.” Mike replied. “Now, if my memory serves me correctly, we were looking for a book.”
Twilight’s eyes widened at the sudden realization. “You’re right! We just spent that last several hours just talking!”
Luna brought a hoof to her face in thought, and an idea popped into her head. “Believe I might know where to find your spell! Follow me please.”
The princess led the three towards an older-looking section of the archives.
“Based on what you’ve told me, I think the spell you’re looking for doesn’t exist. But that doesn’t mean one can’t be created for it.” Luna explained.
“That’s right! New spells can be created for special purposes.” The purple unicorn added.
Luna nodded her head back at her. “Precisely, Twiligth Sparkle! Only unicorns with immense knowledge and extremely high levels of magic are able to create new spells correctly, namely my sister and I.”
“If you and Celestia can just make a spell, why do we still need a book.?” Mike asked, completely lost on the subject at hand.
“The spell in question, in my opinion, appears to rip a hole in the very fabric of time and space itself, which would translate into an overbearing amount of magic usage.” Luna continued. “If higher levels of magic are required, we turn to magic amplifiers. They’re mostly stones or gems that are bonded with high doses of magic that can temporarily even give a non magic user powers.”
“Okay, now I’m lost also.” Spike said to himself.
Luna stopped at a marble pedestal which held an enormous book which looked like an artifact compared to the rest of the surrounding texts. She opened the book and started to flip through the pages.
“There is only one I can… ah, here it is!” Luna announced, halting her page surfing. “The Crystal of Reality!”
The page contained more of the ancient language foreign to Mike, as well as a light blue sapphire illustrated on top of the page.
“This is, by far, the most powerful magic amplifier still on record. If any of them will have the power to create that spell, it will be this one.”
Mike leaned over Luna towards the book. “Alright, let’s go grab it! Where’s it at?” He said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
Luna read on. “Hmm. Let me check.” She flipped to the next page, only for her, Mike, and Twilight to stare at a blank page.
Mike’s eyes widened. “What the… there’s nothing on here!” he yelled in disappointment.
“How can the crystal be on record if there’s no information on it?” Twilight asked puzzled.
“Perhaps we should ask my sister. Maybe she knows more about the crystal.” Luna suggested.
“Well, we’re not gonna get any more information here. Let’s go.”
Celestia had finally finished with her appointments with her many subjects, and rested for a few minutes at her throne. Today had been unreasonably busy with ponies needing her approval on a wide array of matters. She had wondered what was taking her student and friends so long. 4 hours wasn’t unreasonable, but she was getting worried they’d bring her any complications.
As if her thoughts were foreshadowing their arrival, the three entered through the atrium’s doors along with her who she was delighted to see had accompanied them.
“Little sister, I see you have found our friends. Was your search successful?”
Luna nodded her head in satisfaction. “Yes, big sister!” She took out the book and opened it up to the page where their efforts had brought them “The Crystal of Reality.”
“But there doesn’t seem to be any actual information about it or where it is? It’s all blank.” Twilight added.
Celestia’s eyes widened slightly at the mention of the magical gem. “A yes, the Crystal. I know of it; I created it after all.”
“You created the Crystal, Princess?” Spike asked.
“Yes. It was right after I… imprisoned you, Luna.” She said, looking at her younger sibling. “I instilled an enormous amount of magic into it as an attempt to enchant the sun and moon.”
“Why would you do that, Celestia?” Luna inquired.
“I wanted to enchant the sun and the moon so they would raise and set themselves, so I could release you from your bonds. Unfortunately, the spell didn’t work out as hoped, and it caused more problems than it solved.”
Luna smiled at her sister’s intentions, knowing she cared about her so much even back when her actions were fresh wounds.
Mike crossed his arms. “So where is this crystal now exactly?”
“I locked it away in a temple, deep within Glacier Mountains, to make sure it was never used again.”
Celestia said, an obvious level of warning in her voice. “The journey is perilous; the freezing temperatures alone are meant to be a significant deterrent, let alone the path to the temple.”
“Is there any other way, Princess?” Twilight asked.
“I’m afraid not, my dear student. The Crystal is the only gem with enough power to send Michael back to his world.”
“Thank you Princess. You’ve been a great help.”Twilight bowed to her teacher, Mike and Spike expressing similar gestures. “Thank you as well, Luna.”
“It was my pleasure, Twilight Sparkle. I hope you’ll visit again, all of you.” The younger sister smiled warmly at all of them.
As the three started heading out of the throne room, Celestia’s voice rang to them.
“Twilight Sparkle, there is one more thing I must tell you.”
“What is it, Princess?” The pupil asked, turning her head back to her teacher.
“Whatever you do, do not touch the Crystal directly. And good luck, my student.”
“We will, Princess.”
They exited back into the castle’s atrium as ponies formed a queue outside of Celestia’s throne room again. Mike looked back at the busy schedule ahead of the ruler.
“What do you think she meant by that last part?” He asked Twilight, who the lead back to the courtyard.
“I don’t know. When we get back to Ponyville, we’re going to have to round up as many ponies possible for this.”
“Good idea. The more the merrier.” Mike said with some excitement. “She said freezing right?”
She nodded back to him. “She did. No offense, but you’re not exactly dressed for the cold, Mike.” She added as they broke the doors to the outside where a chariot was waiting for them.
“Don’t worry Twilight. I think a certain unicorn has that covered for me.” Mike replied, a sly smile forming.
“Do you mean who you think… ?” Spike asked, his heart already speeding up in his chest.
“When we get back, Spike, you and I are getting me some snow gear; courtesy of Rarity.”
The golden chariot touched down just outside of Twilight’s library. All three jumped off the back and onto safe ground, Mike less wobbly than his first flight. Twilight thanked their two chauffeur pegasi and they took off back to Canterlot.
“Man, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” Mike admitted, holding his stomach in slight nausea.
Twilight giggled curtly to herself at his weak constitution of flying. “You and Spike can go see Rarity and see if she can make you something. While you do that, I’ll go ask everypony else to see who can join us.”
“Don’t you need winter clothing too?” He remembered scarves in Winter Wrap-Up, but never any heavy clothing.
“Don’t worry Mike, it gets really cold here too. I and everyone else are already covered.” She reassured him.
“Sounds like a plan, Twilight. Lead the way Spike!”
“You got it!”
The human and dragon parted with the unicorn, who started the other way to the other four ponies’ homes.
On their way to Rarity’s, Mike was constantly greeted by passerbies in the market. He responded with a wave and a short reply, enjoying the attention. He’d admit there was a certain aspect to Ponyville that he liked, as well as the rest of Equestria. It was different from his normal life. Everything seemed simpler, easier to deal with.
“Hey Mike, can I ask you something?” Spike poked him in the leg as they walked.
Mike looked down at the purple and green reptile. “What’s up?”
“I didn’t want to say anything in front of Twilight before, but when Celestia was talking to us about the Crystal, didn’t she seem a little… um… ” Spike couldn’t find the word to finish his sentence.
“I was thinking more uneasy, but yeah.”
“I kinda got that too.”
“Do you think she was lying?” The dragon had known Celestia long enough to pick up on the Princess’s subtle quirks. Then again, he also didn’t know Mike’s level of knowledge either.
“If she was, she at least didn’t give us the entire picture. I think she’s hiding something.” Mike said as he and the tiny dragon stopped in front of Carousel Boutique.
“You think so?”
“Definitely. After all, lying and conspiracy are one of my species’ best qualities.” Mike said with a strange sense of pride as he opened the door to Rarity’s shop.
A bell signaled the absent unicorn that she had guests. The sound of hooves on the floor trotting towards them met their ears as the white unicorn appeared from her designing room.
“Michael, Spike! I take it your trip to Canterlot was a success?” Rarity asked, greeting them in the process.
“Hi Rarity.” Spike drew out her name adoringly.
“We did. Have you heard of the Crystal of Reality?” Mike crossed his arms, looking around the dress maker’s elegant shop. It looked like the show room where she advertised all of her finished dresses for possible customers.
“I don’t believe so. Then again, I’m not one for those magic gems. Unicorns like Twilight would find them more useful than I, although some of them would make quite a lovely centerpiece for a necklace.”
Mike rolled his eyes humorously at the unicorn’s direct thoughts to turning a powerful crystal into jewelry. “Apparently, it’s the only thing that’ll get me back to my world. Plus, it’s up in Glacier Mountains. Which by the name, means it’s very cold; hence why I’m here.”
“So you want me to make you something to protect you from the elements, I assume?”
“Yepp. Think you’re up for it? I know you have my measurement from earlier today.”
“But of course, dear!” She held her head proudly at his challenge. “It’s been quite a while since I delved into anything outside of dresses lately. Is there anything specific you’d like?”
Mike contemplated for a second. “As long as it’s warm, and not pink and frilly, it’ll work. No need to pressure you over something precise.”
“Yeah, we all remember how that turned out last time!” Spike was referring to the time Rarity had made her friends dresses to their exact request, which turned into a fashion disaster. “You should let her do her thing. She is, after all, the best dress maker in all of Equestria!”
“Oh Spike, of course I am!” Rarity tried not to take the dragon’s compliment too literal, but she couldn’t help herself. She looked Mike down from head to toe, already gathering ideas. “Let’s see. You’ll absolutely need a heavy coat, maybe even an inner liner as well. A hat, gloves, scarf, something for your legs…” She continued blurting suggestions, grabbing a pencil and pad and jotting down whatever came to mind.
“Whoa whoa whoa, Rarity. Don’t get ahead of yourself, jeez.” Mike raised a hand. “I know you’re good, but I don’t need a whole wardrobe.”
Rarity scoffed at him. “Oh, but I insist!”
“Come one Mike, Rarity’s good at what she does. You won’t be disappointed.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation, knowing it was a downhill battle. “Fine, Rarity. Whatever you think will work.”
The unicorn squealed in glee at Mike’s surrender. “You will not be disappointed, I assure you!”
“Is this gonna cost me anything?”
“Not at all. If anything, it will give me a chance to utilize some of my more unused materials I have planned for it.”
“Okay. So when should I pick it up?”
“Come back later this evening. I still have to fill out some previous orders. I should be done by then.”
“Alright, cool. Thanks Rarity!”
“You’re very welcome Michael.” She turned her attention to Spike, who’s was still staring at her.
“Anything for you Spike?”
The purple dragon didn’t even register the question as he gazed at her. Mike could almost see little hearts floating over Spike’s head as he nudged him with his boot. Spike shook his head as his friend broke the trance.
“Nothing for me Rarity, I’m not going. I may be a dragon, but I’m still cold-blooded.”
“Very well. Until you visit later, Michael.”
“See ya later.” Mike and Spike started toward the boutique’s doors. As he was about half-way through them, he looked back at her sternly. “No pink.”
“I’ll surprise you.” Rarity winked at him and turned back to her back room, humming ‘Art of the Dress’ to herself.
Mike exited the building deadpanned as Spike waited for him outside. “I think I’m going to be wearing pink by the time this is over.”
“Don’t worry Mike. Rarity’s awesome! She hasn’t let anyone down yet with her dresses.”
“Easy there, Romeo.” Mike calmed the dragon down over his obsessive crush. “It’still kinda early. Who’s closest to us? Maybe we can catch one pony and save Twilight some time.”
“We’ll pass right by Sugarcube Corner walking back to Twilight’s.”
“Cool, we can visit Pinkie Pie.”
They both began walking to the confectionery, which was already in sight.
“How did you know Pinkie worked there?”
Mike had to catch himself for a second. “Uh, she told me.”
He sighed inwardly in relief. ‘Phew, dodged a bullet there.’
After a few minutes, they reached the candy shop/bakery. The entire building looked like a gingerbread house, and Mike realized he’d be paying his dentist quite a visit if he ever got home. Spike led the way in, another bell announcing their entrance. Mr. and Mrs. Cakes were already busy inside the main room. Mrs. Cakes was helping a customer while Mr. Cake greeted the two.
“Het there Spike. Ambassador. What can I do for you?”
“Hi Mr. Cake! Is Pinkie Pie around? We need to talk to her.”
“Sure! She should be in back making cupcakes, as long as she isn’t experimenting again. You’re more than welcome to go in the back.” Mr. Cake rolled his eyes as he looked at the back room.
Both the human and dragon’s noses were instantly bombarded with the heavenly smell of baked goods emanating from said area, practically lifting off their feet as they hovered into the kitchen where Pinkie Pie was diligently mixing a giant bowl of batter. She was happily, and loudly, singing lyrics to another song she was probably working on as she mixed the concoction.
“Oh hey Mike! Hey Spike! Hey I just realized your names rhyme heehee! Mike Spike! Spikey Mikey!” She laughed as her victims looked at each other awkwardly, never realizing how similar their names were.
Mike her before she rambled on again. “Hi Pinkie. We were just-”
“You two gotta try my new batch of cupcakes! I just finished topping them!” She ran over to a dozen of the delicious-looking pastries and grabbed the plate they were on, offering them to her friends.
Spike practically swallowed the cupcake in one bite, making gluttonous noises as he chewed it in his mouth. Mike however was still holding the frosting-topped cupcake, analyzing it suspiciously. After that one story that was written about the pink pony, he was uneasy about taking a bite.
“I’m not gonna wake up tied to a table in a basement full of surgical equipment, am I?”
Pinkie Pie laughed uncontrollably at Mike’s strange question, thinking he was playing a game with her. “No, silly, that’s what the brownies are for!”
He had already taken a bit of the cupcake when she replied to him, and he almost spat out the treat if not for being so delicious. “Wait, what?”
“I’m just kidding Mike! Good, huh?”
He looked back down at the now empty wrapper, not even noticing he finished the cupcake.
“Was that peppermint I tasted?”
“It was! Oh my gosh, how did you know?”
“Lucky guess?” Before Pinkie opened her mouth again, he threw up a hand. “Before you go nuts again, I have something serious to ask you.”
“Okay!” Pinkie starred silently at him with the biggest smile possible, almost mocking his request.
“Anyways, Twilight, Spike, and I have found a way to get back to my world, which will involve a pretty cold trip into Glacier Mountains. We were wondering if you could come with us tomorrow.”
Pinkie’s eyes widened as she listened to him. “Glacier Mountains? I know that.”
“Why am I not surprised.”
“I’ll go ask the Cakes right now!” In an instant Pinkie flew out of the kitchen leaving a dust cloud and two individuals completely baffled. Another second passed, and the pink pony zoomed right back where she previously was, a big smile on their face. “They said I can goooo!” She announced, almost singing it.
“Perfect! We’ll get going then. You’re obviously busy baking stuff. We’ll get out of your mane.” Mike consciously slapped himself for using ‘mane’.
Pinkie frowned. “Awwww. But you just got here.”
Spike stepped in. “Sorry Pinkie, but we still have to prep everything for tomorrow.”
“Okaaay.” She pouted for a moment, and then sprang right back to her usual self. “Wait, I’ll see you tomorrow then!”
“Yay! I’ll make sure to bring extra snacks and balloons! Oh and streamers and extra candy and soda…” Pinkie turned her back to them as she continued to think of stuff to bring for their journey.
Mike bent down to Spike. “Let’s get outta here.”
Both boys tiptoed out of the ranting pony’s kitchen and said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Cake in the process. Outside of the bake shop they sighed in relief.
“How the heck do all of you put up with that?” Mike asked the dragon.
Spike rolled his eyes half-humored. “Trust me you get used to it. Now come on, let’s get back to Twilight’s.”
(Sorry I had taken so long to update; look a bit of a personal leave. Also, I figured I’d wait for the season to end to keep the story completely updated. I won’t take so long from now on.)
Twilight had retired back to the library earlier than she expected after visiting both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Both of her friends had agreed to join in on the trek up to Glacier Mountains, much to her expectation. Right now, she was currently checking maps for the range to see if there were any paths to the temple. She figured she’d ask Pinkie Pie and Applejack later on once Mike and Spike returned from Rarity’s.
As if on cue, she heard the latch on her door turn.
‘Speak of the devils.’
Both boys entered the tree house with ice cream in their hands. Mike was half way through a scoop of vanilla, and Spike was just munching on a purple gem in a cone.
Mike eyed the dragon in disbelief at his choice of ‘snack’. “I still can’t understand how in the world you can eat that!”
“I’m a dragon, duh! We can just eat this stuff.”
He squinted down at his little buddy again. “But how? Not just because… oh, hi Twilight!” He took another lick of his ice cream.
Twilight took her eyes off an old large map. “Hello, boys. I assume Rarity’s went well?”
“You bet, Twi! Rarity said she’ll have all my stuff done by this evening.”
“That’s great! She’ll be able come with us then right?”
Mike stared out into space as he and Spike just realized what they’d forgotten to do. “Uhh…”
“You did ask her, right?”
Both males look at each other in a synchronized man consensus. “We forgot, didn’t we?”
“How could both of you forget?” She was more surprised than angry at the two’s slip-up.
Mike pointed a finger down at the dragon, starting the all-too-famous childish blame game. “You were too busy making googley eyes at her the whole time!”
Spike in return pointed a claw up at the human. “Yeah. Well, you were too busy keeping your masculinity in check.”
He narrowed his eyes at the dragon, proving a fair point. “… You win this round, Spike.”
“Will you two knock it off!” Twilight shouted, annoyed at both of their childishness. She almost felt like she was babysitting at this point.
“Sorry Twilight.” Both of them responded to her frustrated command in perfect unison.
“At least we asked Pinkie Pie before we came back here.” Spike added, trying to redeem the two of them.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “You’re both idiots.”
“I am willing to accept that.” Mike looked past the unicorn to the table full of maps. “Whatcha looking at?” He asked, licking the ice cream again.
“I’m trying to find a path to the temple, but I can’t even find the darn thing on a map!” She walked to the table, both boys in tail.
All three of them studied the one big map of Glacier Mountains in the middle of the desk. It looked practically ancient as only marked paths through the mountains, most leading to dead ends, were visible.
Mike scratched his chin. “Well there’s your problem. Why would they put its location on a map if it’s supposed to be secret?”
“You don’t think I’ve figured that out already?” She replied angrily back. “There’s no way to figure out where it could possibly be. No markers or anything!”
“Why don’t you just check all of the dead end paths?” Spike suggested out of nowhere.
“That would take too much time, Spike. We’d freeze to death before we tried all of them.”
“Now wait a sec, Twi. I think Spike’s on to something.” The human added through a mouth full of waffle cone. “Celestia wanted to keep the Crystal safe right?”
“Right, your point?”
“Well, wouldn’t the hardest route be the best possibility? It’d be a natural defense against anyone dumb enough to traverse it.”
Twilight placed a hoof to her mouth, thinking over her friend’s suggestion. “I guess we don’t have much of anything else to fall back on. It couldn’t hurt to try that.”
He crossed his arms victoriously that the bookish pony had taken his idea. He figured he thought a lot like the unicorn. If it made the most sense to him, so would it to her. “A little common sense can go a long way. That’s one thing you can’t learn in a book, Twilight.” He added playfully.
“So I’ve been told, many times.” She rolled her eyes at her friends’ reminders on how reading isn’t the only source of information and wisdom.
Mike shrugged his shoulders. “Just sayin’.”
Twilight brushed the thought off and started to examine the huge map. “There’s a lot of dead-end routes through these mountains. It might take a while for me to figure which would be our best bet.”
“Do you need help? I kinda remember some of my eighth grade geography.”
“No I should be fine. You and Spike go do something for a while.” She didn’t even take her eyes off of the large map as she answered him.
“Okay, suit yourself.” He shrugged, and loomed over her anyways to take a look at the map.
As he stared at the map he felt his eyes fixated on one spot deep into the rocky plain, far away from any visible routes on the old parchment. He didn’t even dare to blink as he became completely entranced on the location; he saw Spike talking to Twilight through his peripheral, but he couldn’t hear either of them. Everything was just a distant echo.
He finally blinked his eyes several times as his head started to ache, like an itch in the back of his mind. Could that possibly be where the…
A light blue flash blinded his vision for a split second, snapping back to reality as a purple hoof waved right in front of his face, breaking his gaze from the map. He shook his head several times as the headache receded, massaging one of his temples.
“Are you alright? You were staring at the map really weird.” Spike asked. Both he and Twilight were looking at him with concern as he rubbed his eyelids.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. Just… spaced out there for a sec.” He tried to cover it up with an amused chuckle, but he could tell that the unicorn didn’t buy it. Luckily, she didn’t seem to badger him about it.
“Ooookay. Anyways what I was saying to Spike is that I can take it from here. You two enjoy yourselves until Rarity’s done with your stuff.”
The next thing Mike and Spike knew was them standing outside the library, the door closing shut behind them.
Mike looked back at the door and then down to the dragon. “Did she just boot us out?”
Spike nodded his head. “Yeah, she tends to get like this when she’s working really hard.” He
looked back up at the sun in the sky, trying to estimate what time it was. “We still have a few hours to spare. What do you want to do?”
Mike scratched his chin as he thought of an idea. “I got the perfect idea!”
“This not what I meant by doing something! We’ve been out here for hours now.” Spike complained as he dragged his feet behind Mike’s, who was carrying two buckets full of freshly bucked apples to an awaiting wagon in the orchard of Sweet Apple Acres. His black shirt had been discarded long ago, tucked into his back pocket just enough so it wouldn’t fall out, leaving him only in his white tank top.
“At least I’m helping. You’ve done nothing but whine since we started helping Applejack and BigMac!” He hefted the container over the wagon’s guard rail up and added them to the others, now almost overflowing with the ripe delicious fruit. The orange pony was already hitched to the oversized cart, ready to haul the apples back to the barn.
“Okay, Applejack that should do it.” He wiped his brow of sweat, trying to figure out how it had gotten so hot out since he started aiding her and her brother.
“Thanks for the help, sugarcube. Well, at least one of ya.” She nodded at him as she started pulling the pulled the wagon.
“Don’t mention it. I owe you a favor since the fiasco at the market yesterday.” Mike kept pace with her as Spike rode in the wagon.
“That’s mighty kinda of ya. Usually it’s just me and BigMac out here. Sometimes Applebloom. Kinda nice to have a helping hand, especially since last time.” Applejack added humorously.
‘Ah yes, Applebuck Season.’ Mike nodded to himself, recalling all of the crazy stuff the sleep-deprived Applejack had caused in that episode.
“And I especially liked your own bucking technique! What was it you called it?”
“A roundhouse.” Mike looked down at both of his boots, which were now both scuffed and scratched beyond belief from striking countless apple trees. “I’m telling ya, Applejack, those trees must be rigged or something. Every single apple fell off of them even when I half-assed it.”
“Well, they’re bred to be bucked. Ya’ll humans don’t kick trees?” She asked him, the barn coming into view.
“Doho, no. We either hand-pick every single one, or have machines that harvest entire orchards in a day.”
Applejack’s eyes widened at the mention of machinery. “Shoot, that sounds a heck of a lot less work.”
He nodded in confirmation. “An only a fraction of the time. If we’ve grow it in mass quantities, you can bet we’ve invented something to harvest it at peak efficiency. We don’t have magic, so we have to get creative sometimes.”
“Guess we have that in common. We Earth ponies have been fine without magic for generations.” She said with a strong essence of pride in the statement.
The three finally arrived at the barn. Applejack stopped and unhitched herself from the cart.
“Well, that should do it! That’ll be a load off of Big Mac tomorra when ah help ya and Twilight.”
“Can we go now? It’s getting late; we’re supposed to head over to Rarity’s soon.” Spike asked, his boredom now having hit an all-time high.
Applejack brought a hoof to her mouth to stifle a laugh. “If Rarity knew how, she’d tan both your hides if you went over to her shop looking like that!”
“Like what?” Mike looked down at his dirt-covered pants and boots, obviously not acceptable for the unicorn’s boutique. “Oh yeah…”
“Not to worry, I got ya covered.” Applejack went into the barn and pulled out a green garden hose. She carefully aimed the nozzle in her mouth at the two boys. “Now hold still. Gotta get all of it!”
Both boys eyes widened as the orange pony kicked open the valve to the hose. The unusually powerful blast of freezing water hit both of them, drenching the two instantaneously. After a few seconds, she turned the water back off.
“Oh man that felt great!” Mike said, the ice-cold water having cooled him down instantly from the backbreaking labor. He looked at his now soaked clothes. “At least I’m clean.”
Spike, on the other hand, was shivering nonstop next to him as the water dripped off of his scales.
“Guess you should’ve worked up a sweat, Spike.”
The little dragon mumbled something under his breath as the human and pony snickered at his expense.
“Well that hardly seems like an excuse to come into my boutique dripping wet!” Rarity was fuming at the dragon and human, who had taken as much time as possible to dry off before returning to the dress shop. Spike was relatively dry, but Mike on the other hand…
“Did I track any water? No, I’m just damp.” Mike was already behind the curtain wall, putting on the collection of clothing she had given him.
Rarity sighed, deciding to withhold her complaining about his decency until she saw her finished product. “I suppose not. So tell me how does everything fit?”
“I don’t know, you tell me.” Mike emerged from the portable wall, now bundled in the warm attire looking at himself in a three-section mirror.
The heavy jacket, surprisingly to him, was not much different than any winter coat he’d worn in the past. The coat was a dark olive, stitched with heavy cotton and insulated with a second inner liner of what he guessed was wool. Pockets for his hands as well as pair of buttoned chest pockets sat exactly where they normally would. It wasn’t extremely bulky, but he could tell it was well put together. For someone who normally made girly dresses, he had to admit she knew her way around men’s clothing and for him no less!
“So?” The Unicorn asked anxiously.
He knew more than better than to use the lesser term. “I love it, Rarity! Kinda reminds me of a jacket I used to own, actually. But I can tell this is of much higher quality.”
“Oh I’m so happy you like it!” Rarity practically squealed in delight at his approval. “Normally, I wouldn’t use such a horrible shade of green, but it suits you perfectly!”
“One thing I have a question on. What’s this thing all about?” Mike gestured his hands down at the article of clothing that was belted at his waist and ended around his ankles. It was made of one piece of heavy dark grey fabric and was slightly open in the front and split in the back at around his knees. Thick red stitching lined the edges in a never-ending figure eight.
Rarity gave him an uncertain smile as he questioned her choice in design. “Well, pants would’ve required you to be here so I could fit them properly, so I went with something… simpler.”
“It looks like a skirt.” He cocked an eyebrow bluntly.
“Not exactly, but I did get the idea from one.” She said reassuringly. “It’s made of heavy wool so it will cut down on wind and it should trap enough heat inside to keep your legs warm.”
Mike twisted his thoughts to try to come up with a suitable name for the ‘dress’. “Wait, I got it! It’s like a duster for the snow?”
“I guess it is, isn’t it?” Rarity had no idea what a duster was, but she figured it pleased her human client, so she agreed with him.
“Alright! I feel like some… abominable snow outlaw.” Mike adjusted the belt on his waist to fit perfectly and looked at himself in the mirror, spinning imaginary six-shooters in his hands and making gunshot noises.
“And that’s just the start!” She added, opening a bag next to her. She hovered a ball of black, speckled grey, knitted scarf, hat, and gloves into his hands. Mike tried on the hat instantly. The gloves, which he found out, were full-fingered and fit... just like a glove.
“You made me gloves but couldn’t make me pants?” Mike asked her amusingly at the anomaly flexed his hands in the warm accessories.
“Trust me darling, it’s all about the style!” She flipped her hair as she replied.
“I guess I shouldn’t argue with the master.” Mike snapped out of his vanity moment. “Which reminds me… Twilight wanted to know if you could make it with us for tomorrow?”
At the request, Rarity’s smile softened. “I’m dreadfully sorry Michael. Twilight should know I’ve been much too busy with dress orders. I was lucky enough to find time to finish your things. I would hate to miss a deadline with one of the mail-in orders from Canterlot. Can you believe that? A mail order!” She scoffed at the insinuation.
“Well, I won’t badger you about it. You have commitments already, that’s understandable.” He looked outside, noticing dusk was already settling. “We should get back to Twilight’s. Thanks again Rarity!”
“My pleasure, Michael. Spike, shouldn’t you be going as well?” She looked oddly at the dragon who had his eyes on her.
The dragon snapped out of his usual trance on the unicorn when he heard his name. He spun his head around to see Mike waiting at the door with his clothes bunched under his arm.
He zoomed past the human’s legs and outside the door. Mike, however, glanced back at Rarity and gave her a questioning look.
She winked back at him. “Oh, let him have his fun.”
Mike smirked, left the boutique, and headed back to Twilight’s.