Attempted automated wordcount. Please use LibreOffice/MSOffice for an accurate count: 539114 thanks, author! If you wish to have this removed from this list, email ra.llan.pcl+complaints @ gmail.com, making sure to provide proof that you are the author. The Conversion Bureau Alternate Universe Story Archive Companion Document -or- So You Want To Read Ponies? Version: 1.04 Friday February 10th 2012 Introduction Hello, Midnight here again. Welcome to the revamped, renewed and re-something-else’d Conversion Bureau Extended Alternate Universe Story Archive Companion Document. Or, as I like to call it, the RRARSETCBEAUSACD. You’re welcome. I find it rolls off the tongue like a lead brick rolls off the roof of a Fortune 500 multi-national conglomerate and I think I forgot where I was going with this metaphor. The original Conversion Bureau is an as-yet unfinished story created by somepony going by the name of Blaze. As a setting, it has spawned a whole side-community of spin-offs. You don’t need to read the original but you may wish to for completeness. A better introduction would be “First Contact”, “Midnight’s Tail” and then everything by Chatoyance. I think I get to say that :) In this post, you will find most of the spin-off stories that took the original premise and ran with it, building a rich tapestry of an alternate near-future Earth where the fate of every man, woman, child and pony on the planet has become entwined with that of the realm of Equestria. Use the ToC to find stories grouped by author and, in some cases, by series or genre. Check out the Conversion Bureau Guide for more information or if you wish to write your own. Check out the current Ponychan Thread for even more stories! NOTE: Since the last update, we've had an influx of new stories, and fimfiction.net has created groups. The new TCB Group can be found here, which is just about everything from fimfiction.net on it. Update Checklist Midnight here for version 1.02 That’s right, I promoted it to post-1.0. We’re out of beta and we’re releasing on time. I added my own updates (of course!) to “A Twist in the Tail” and “Midnight’s Tail”, and I also added in the one-shots and extras I’ve been writing, such as Gypsy Added all of Chatoyance’s stuff Added fimfiction links for updated “A Dinner Among Friends” Added EqD link for Yellowstone (well deserved, Anonsi) Added EqD link for Last Man Standing (also well deserved, Windchaser) Also added part 11 of AAF - Y U NO RITE ON FIMFICTION Who’s next for EqD? CoL? A Mare’s Tail? You decide! I’m sure I’ve missed something, but that’s why we have more editors than just me! PS: HOLY BALLS is that a lot of fiction. Table of Contents Authors Anonsi Yellowstone Yellowstone the Series Yellowstone the Series - Minisodes Hidden Brony The Conversion Bureau - A Mare’s Tale Purple Prose First Contact Second Impact Ponies of a Rising Sun Midnight Shadow Midnight’s Tail Midnight’s Tail - A Twist in the Tail A Twist in the Tail - Community Service Midnight’s Tail - Minisodes Conversion Bureau - The End Conversion Bureau - Together Conversion Bureau - The Day the Sky Changed Conversion Bureau - Gypsy Chatoyance Conversion Bureau - The Big Respawn Conversion Bureau - Euphrosyne Unchained Conversion Bureau - Letters from Home Conversion Bureau - Teacup, Down on the Farm Conversion Bureau - 27 Ounces Conversion Bureau - The Taste of Grass Krass McWriter An Azure Future One For The Road Windchaser Last Man Standing Ring of Fire The Conversion Bureau - Eye of the Beholder Sonic The Conversion Bureau - Sidelines First Time Pony Writer The Conversion Bureau - Change of Life More Authors Lightsideluc Videomaster21xx Series Salvation Through Destruction Death Row Freedom Corp: New Dawn Dinner Among Friends The Conversion Bureau - Guardian Chronicles Shard Founding Fics The Conversion Bureau: Ten Rounds The Conversion Bureau: Pride One-Shots Random Authors Here are certain well-known and/or prolific authors. * * * Anonsi Equestria Daily Post Yellowstone Complete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [ 7 ] | [ Epilogue ] | [ Bonus Chapter ] Description: Two years after the camps opened up, the Western Territories of the USA are nearly vacant. It is once more a frontier, ripe for exploration and settlement. On bequest of Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle is to experience the human world by joining a family of Pony Settlers on their journey out West. It's Dangerous to go alone however, so in an act of good will, the US government is sending someone to make sure no harm befalls the ponies. Tags: [Normal] Twilight Sparkle, OC ponies Yellowstone the Series On-going Google Docs: Episode 1: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Yellowstone the Series - Minisodes On-going Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | Youtube: | [ 1 - Video ] | SoundCloud: | 1 - Audiobook | Description: Two months after the events of Yellowstone, Wild Magic from Equestria has run rampant throughout the world, resurrecting ancient horrors from around the globe. Mysterious and terrible monsters of human myth threaten to exterminate both mankind and ponydom. With the blessing of Princess Celestia, Twilight and her friends reunite with Agent Hawk and his team to combat this new threat before it destroys the world! Tags: [Adventure] [Normal] [Action] [Shipping] Additional Tags: Mane 6, humans, OC's, The Conversion Bureau, shiptease, Monsters and Monster hunting, Magic * * * Hidden Brony The Conversion Bureau - A Mare’s Tale Complete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [ 7 ] | [ 8 ] | [ 9 ] | Google Docs: | [ 10 ] | [ Finale ] | [ Epilogue ] | Description: It's been a few years since the Conversion Bureaus opened up all over the United States, and only a few humans remain in some of the bigger cities. One such girl attempts to hold on to what's left of hers, but what's left at all? Tags: [Normal] Additional Tags: Conversion Bureau, Spinoff, Violet, Albuquerque, Al * * * Purple Prose First Contact Complete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [ 7 ] | [ 8 ] | [ 9 ] | Description: Earth is in the throws of the Singularity, but far from providing a utopia for it's citizens, things are worse than ever. Jobs are scarce, the environment is devastated - it is clear things must change, but how? In the midst of all this comes the greatest change of all - the sudden appearance of a mysterious island off the coast of the USA which cannot be approached by normal means. What secrets does it hold? Tags: [Normal] Additional Tags: slice of life Second Impact Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | Description: After first contact with the Equestrians, many people were suspicious of the new equine race. Such tensions were exacerbated with the creation of the Conversion Bureaus. While some may jump at the chance of transformation, others railed against it. This is a story of the birth pangs of what would become the HLF. Ponies of a Rising Sun Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | Description: Ponies in Japan? Ponies in Japan! * * * Midnight Shadow Midnight’s Tail Complete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Bonus Story: Peachy and Cobalts Excellent Adventure, Part 1 (New, Fimfiction only) Description: Martin Danielson is living in a time after the last revolution, the singularity. A spoiled earth, polluted, crowded and yet empty... An advert on the holoprojector offers a new life as a pony. Martin takes the offer. this is his story. Midnight’s Tail - A Twist in the Tail Incomplete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] New: Parts 7, 8 Description: Glenn has been hanging around conversion bureaus for a long time - long enough to be forced to choose the express lane, or forever be barred from entry. His unorthodox queue jumping leaves Rarity (the on-site technician) hoofing it to find a backup potion... she finds an older one, version R63... Tags: [Normal][Comedy][Random] Additional Tags: Funny, switch, slice of life, oops A Twist in the Tail - Community Service Incomplete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] New: Parts 1, 2 Description: Edge used to be a man, convinced that ponification was just a plan to “scoop out the brains” of humans and replace them with pony doubles. When she breaks into a Bureau to steal some Potion and is caught, he downs it. She wakes up as a pegasus with an audience with the royal pony sisters. For her crimes, she is sentenced to community service. This won’t end well ;) Side-Story Spinoff to “A Twist in the Tail” Tags: [Normal][Comedy][Random] Additional Tags: Funny, switch, slice of life, oops Midnight’s Tail - Minisodes On-going Google Docs: Minisode 1 Google Docs: Mini-Minisode 1 Description: These are small slices of life tales from within the same “Midnight’s Tail’ universe. Also found under “A Twist in the Tail” on Fimction.com Conversion Bureau - The End Google Docs: The Conversion Bureau - The End Youtube: [ The End ] Description: This is a short story about the end of the conversion bureaus. Not canon with the main “Midnight’s Tail” alternate universe. Tags: [Grimdark] [Sad-Depressing] Conversion Bureau - Together Incomplete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: This is a currently one-shot story about conjoined twins who wish to get converted. Not for the faint of heart, but you might like it. Conversion Bureau - The Day the Sky Changed Incomplete / Ongoing Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: This is a collection of Conversion Bureau fics examining the other side of the coin - it features insane ponies, scheming unicorns and godlike beings tearing apart the fabric of reality. They’re to show the darker side of the Conversion Bureau universe - dealing with the inescapable fact of mass genocide on a scale never seen, albeit a ‘kind’ one. Featured Stories: The Day the Sky Changed Tick, Tock To Save Eden (2 chapters) Strange Bedfellows ...and eventually, more Conversion Bureau - Gypsy Incomplete / Rewrite in progress Google Docs: [ First Draft ] Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Note: Fimfiction features only “published” material, so the Google Doc is considered DRAFT. It is functionally complete, but with holes in later sections. You may want to save this until next year some time when it’s finally finished... Description: In the later days of the Conversion Bureaus, the Earth is a mess of crumbling infrastructure, abandoned townships, wastelands, stood right alongside the prosperous and burgeoning newfoal population as the shield-bubble expands. Those who don’t wish to get ponified and don’t wish to live amongst ponies make their own way through the Great American Desert, where civilization has collapsed. Some ponies are out in this manmade hell, living a strange vagabond life. This is their story. * * * Chatoyance Conversion Bureau - The Big Respawn Complete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: Set in the Conversion Bureau universe, two young men face the inevitable totality of the expansion of Equestria into our world, and in the decision of one to choose transformation, both must come to an understanding about what is truly important about the meaning of self. Conversion Bureau - Euphrosyne Unchained Complete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: Set in the Conversion Bureau universe, A young woman prepares for Conversion, but there is more she wants to change than merely her physical form. The second story of the 'Lost In The Herd' series of vignettes about ordinary people caught up in the Conversion Bureau universe. The previous story was "The Big Respawn". Conversion Bureau - Letters from Home Complete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: A Newfoal Earth-Pony Stallion writes from Equestria to tell his still-human best friend about his education there, and how Equestrians live and work. The third story of the 'Lost In The Herd' series of vignettes about ordinary people caught up in the Conversion Bureau universe. Conversion Bureau - Teacup, Down on the Farm Complete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: Set in the Conversion Bureau universe during the years after the last human is gone, Newfoal Teacup faces the fact that however much she tries to fit in, the fact of once having been human must always set her apart. This is the fourth story of the 'Lost In The Herd' series of vignettes about ordinary people caught up in the Conversion Bureau universe. Conversion Bureau - 27 Ounces Complete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: Set in the Conversion Bureau Universe, 27 Ounces is the story of the lives affected by a single Erlenmeyer flask of Conversion Bureau Ponification Serum. Each chapter explores some aspect of humanity lost or kept, and the impact of a reality where changing species is the most important matter ever presented to Mankind. Conversion Bureau - The Taste of Grass Complete Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] Description: A direct continuation of '27 Ounces: A Tale of Eight And One Half Ponies', the lives of a family of newfoals from their very first arrival in Equestria is followed. Join Caprice, Alexi, Pumpkin and Buttermilk in their day-to-day lives as they adapt not only to being humans-turned-Equestrian, but struggle to help found a new village in the ever expanding Exponential Lands. * * * Krass McWriter An Azure Future Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [ 7 ] | [ 8 ] | [ 9 ] | [ 10 ] | [ 11 ] FimFiction: An Azure Future (Collection) Author: Krass McWriter Description: John Norris is another broken man in the last days of humanity. Its been years since he left his apartment for something other than to restock his food and water supply. Enter Azure Wind, a young colt bearing a letter that explains he is John's son. The two bond and much is learned by both in this light-hearted comedic tale. Tags: [Normal][Comedy] Additional Tags: father son bonding, Dressclub, California, TCB, saaaack!, PER One For The Road Description: “A horrible fic by Krass McWriter” (a quote from the author of the story). A death metal band member gets the band together for one last blowout as hate is leaving the world, making an impact with help from the HLF. * * * Windchaser Last Man Standing Equestria Daily Post Rewrite Complete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [Author’s Notes] | Description: In the many years after the Conversion Bureaus’ shutdown, Twilight Sparkle is tasked by the Princesses with finding the last living human on Earth, Isaac Hamilton, and learning the story of his past. What she hears is a tale of loss, tragedy, joy, and the discovery of one’s place in the world. But how much longer would that place last with what Twilight has to tell him? Tags: [Sad], Twilight Sparkle, Humans, OC ponies, The Conversion Bureau Ring of Fire Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] Youtube: | [ Intro ] | Description: When the HLF sabotage the ponification serum with an exotic poison, the results are entirely unexpected and could result in inter-species war. The Conversion Bureau - Eye of the Beholder Incomplete Description: Gizmo is an Equestrian-born earth pony running a Conversion Bureau in suburban Philadelphia. He's seen the best and worst of what humanity has to offer in his work running the facility. But all of that will be questioned when a group of terrorists take the residents of the bureau hostage, demanding the immediate removal of every pony from the country. Tags: [Grimdark] OC Ponies * * * Sonic The Conversion Bureau - Sidelines Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [ 7 ] | [ 8 ] | [ 9 ] | [ 10 ] | Google Docs: | [ 11 ] | [ 12 ] | [ 13 ] | [ 14 ] | [ 15 ] | [ 16 ] | [ 17 ] | [ 18 ] | Incomplete Description: Michael Frost is 28 year-old ex-physics instructor, inventor, and among the few humans who do not want to be ponified. But when his best friend tells him he's going to get ponified, Michael decides it's time to dig deeper. He just wants answers, but with mysteries at every turn, he decides to use his skills and knowledge to infiltrate the system and find out the truth behind the Ponification Camps once and for all. * * * First Time Pony Writer The Conversion Bureau - Change of Life Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | Description: Robert Parker is a 24 year old ex-web developer living in New York city. In the wake of the conversion movement, he has seemingly lost everything. Haunted by the same nightmare every night, he soon realizes that he must make a choice. Tags: [Mild-Grimdark] [Shipping] Everypony * * * More Authors Here are more series’ and one-shots by certain authors. * * * Lightsideluc The Conversion Bureau - My Kingdom for a Horse Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | DeviantArt: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | Description: The stream is magical, powerful, almost irresistible. Almost. For those passing through it, it offers them a siren song of a new life in Equestria as a pony - where they will forget their previous lives. Very few can resist it's pull. Maverick Incomplete / One-shot Description: Equestria offers a new life to those willing to take it, for free. For the unscrupulous, there are always ways to profit. A one-shot set in a dystopian future where Earth’s governments have been discretely selling off young talent to a certain equine country to fuel its industrial revolution, Maverick is the tale of one young teen who finds himself “on the wrong side of the fence”. ‘Tinker’ is your typical street urchin, complete with worn clothes and a jaded view of the world. However, after a fateful encounter, he soon finds himself embroiled in a secretive exchange of assets, with his mind and body on the bargaining table... * * * Videomaster21xx The Conversion Bureau - Fragments of Regret Complete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [ 7 ] | [ 8 ] | [ 9 ] | Google Docs: | [ 10 ] | [ 11 ] | [ 12 ] | Description: Over half the world's population has now become Ponies. Despite the human populace waning, there are still plenty still needing to be ponified. 21 year old James Fowler would be just another one of those humans heading to be ponified, except for the one big thing that makes him different. He never wanted to be a pony. Despite this, recent events have forced his hand, and so he begins his stay at his local center. Determined to find the resolve to go through with the process. However the ponification is the least of his problems. An event, long ago set into motion, is about to come to pass, and James has a part to play in it... When it happens. The entire game will change forever... Tags: [Normal] Additional Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Spike, James, Wing Berry, Rose Last Man Standing: Aftermath Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | Description: A little over a year after the Purification, mankind has vanished and the world has changed into a new place of magic and wonder, with the pervious earth leaving its legacy in history books. However, with the arrival of a strange object crashing to New Equestria, everything is about to change once more. Windchaser is first on the scene, and discovers something that nopony ever expected to see. It is but the first in a series of events that will threaten the new world that the ponies have worked so hard to achieve... Insanity Condemned Author: Videomaster21xx Description: Oh god what is this I don’t even (A quote from the editor of this document). Yellowstone The TV Movie Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | Description: A fanfic of the fanfic Yellowstone, which is a fanfic of the fanfic The Conversion Bureau, which is a fanfic of My Little Pony: FiM. (Just speak up if you want a better description, Videomaster.) * * * Series Here are longer stories that have not been promoted with an author tag. * * * Salvation Through Destruction Google Docs: | [ Prologue + 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | Incomplete Author: RoflLuxRay Description: A rich British man takes on the mission of, single handedly, saving mankind through an elaborate plan that requires the cooperation of both humans and ponies, in an earth where humanity faces its last days due to their own faults. Will he succeed? Or will he fall to the weaknesess of every human? Tags: Mild-Grimdark, Mild-shipping Additional Tags: Twlilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Rarity, Spike, Applejack, OC’s, Gunfights, Morale conflicts, Messiah Complex, Action * * * Death Row Google Docs: | [ Prologue ] | [ 1 ] | Incomplete Author: Dermathil Description: Death Row is a fanfiction based off of Blaze's Conversion Bureau fanfic. I know many have already been written, but what hit me was that none of them is using the point of view of the HLF. The vast majority of the conversion bureau fanfictions portrays them as an evil organisation that is against the ponification process, but not much beside that. The goal of Death Row is to explore the inner workings of the Human Liberation Front slightly more, through a protagonist working for the organisation rather than a protagonist who antagonizes the HLF. * * * Freedom Corp: New Dawn Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | Google Docs: [ Character Bios ] Author: Everything Man Description: Ponies and super heroes? Ponies and super heroes! * * * Dinner Among Friends Incomplete Google Docs: [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4/Interlude 1 is fimfiction-only ] Fimfiction: [ All Chapters ] + Interlude 1 (New) Author: Mray Description: A dinner date between friends gives each a chance to talk things through - one will soon be a pony, the other must come to terms with this. * * * The Conversion Bureau - Guardian Chronicles Incomplete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | Deviant Art: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4a ] [ 4b ] (New) | Author: Notorious Description: A year had passed since the establishment of the Conversion Bureau. The human race seeking a chance at a better life, a better future from their dark, decaying world long ravaged by the hands of the greedy and the corrupt through the act of 'Ponification'. However, the anti pony extremists, the Human Liberation Front (HLF) desperate to save what is left of mankind, intends to eradicate the Pony menace by whatever means necessary. Having forced their hand, the Bureau established V.A.N.G.A.R.D, a special military strike force, operating above the law with the sole intention of protecting the Ponies and suppressing the resistance. This is the story of 21 year old Dr. David Stone, a self conflicting young man, caught between the harshness of reality and his dream of a world without conflict. Unexpectedly recruited as a V.A.N.G.A.R.D agent, David joins the Conversion Bureau, only to discover that he alone will holds the power in restoring the balance to a world long forsaken. Based loosely on Blaze's original fanfic, The Conversion Bureau. Tags: [Grimdark-Mild Violence, Mild Language][Adventure] Additional Tags: OCs, Mane Cast, Humans, HLF, V.A.N.G.A.R.D, Guardian, Magic * * * Shard Google Docs: Shard - Main Directory Link Google Docs: [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | Incomplete Author: Sparky Description: The GENESIS project was humanity's attempt to cross the space-time continuum. It was sabotaged. Six humans are sent to survey the damage; a simple search and rescue turns into something all the more interesting. Tags: Adventure, Sci-Fi, Grimdark, Crossover, Incomplete Additional Tags: Soundtrack-ed, Action, Realistic * * * Third Party Complete Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | [ 4 ] | [ 5 ] | [ 6 ] | [ 7 ] Author: Pony Soldier Description: It has been about 20 years since Equestria first made contact with Earth. In that time diplomatic relationships between most countries, the United States in particular, and Equestria have flowed smoothly. However, not everyone is happy with these relations, and wish to disrupt them by any means necessary. When an anonymous threat is aimed at the annual meeting between the Equestrian Ambassador and the President of the United States, two secret agents from the extremely covert Experimental Espionage Service are called in as insurance against the threat, but little do they know that they may have stumbled on something bigger than a small group of angry people. Tags: Grimdark (Action Violence), OC characters, Sci-Fi Characters: Anthropomorphic OCs, OC ponies, Celestia, Luna, and the Mane Six. * * * The Conversion Bureau - Signal Lost Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | Incomplete Author: Winston Description: When the dwindling human population sparks a desperate last-ditch attempt to colonize Mars, two engineers quickly find themselves wrapped up in a sinister plot to swat mankind's dreams out of the sky. (Thanks to Pride, chistery, PK, Fluttershy, and SunshineSmiles for proofreading and convincing me this was worth writing!) Tags: [Mild-Grimdark] [Adventure] Additional Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Celestia, Luna, Space, Mystery, Disaster, Conversion Bureau, Spinoff * * * The Conversion Bureau - Why? Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | Complete Author: Minalkra Description: As the Conversion Centers convert more and more humans into ponies, one question is answered in a multitude of ways. Why can be a very complex question. Tags: [Shipping] Additional Tags: OC ponies, humans, Celestia, Luna * * * More Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | Fimfiction: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | Incomplete Author: Sonicboom01 Description: One stormy night in the middle of a gradual "drought" of customers, the Conversion Bureau gets a surprise visitor- and he's in a rush to get ponified. The man's rush seems a bit suspicious, and some of the info in his forms isn't all there. There must be more to the story... * * * The Breaking Point Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | Incomplete Author: BronyOfSteel Description: The Human Liberation Front has been pursuing its agenda of pony genocide for nearly five years and the time has finally come for their endgame. As events rush towards an inevitable climax, Cpt. James Miller will hold the fate of two races in his hands as he and the rest of the Internal Defense Initiative strive to prevent a cataclysm that would mean final victory for the HLF in its five year war against Equestria and its converts. * * * The Scientist Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | Incomplete Author: Azul Description: The HLF. Dedicated to the extermination of pony-kind and the re-affirmation of mankind’s greatness. Or are they? A scientist deeply embroiled with the shady organization may just have plans of his own. * * * Pandemic Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | Incomplete Author: Sir Issac Johnington Description: Ten years have passed since the first human underwent ponification, and now half the world has turned into them. It is then that a strange new disease started to tear though the human population, completely new, and incredibly lethal. As questions rise, from how to treat it to where it come from, so do inter-species tensions, as startling revelations are made about the disease. Will this prove to be mankinds undoing, and what might happen as humanity grows more desperate for a cure? * * * VIIII Days Google Docs: | [ Prologue ] | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | [ 3 ] | Incomplete Author: Scalier Description: After recently escaping jail, Jack decides that the only way he's going to keep out of trouble is to undergo Ponfication, unfortunately for him, and few other people seem to have an interest in him, and he finds himself thrown into the Gutters and Sewers of the Anti-Pony movement in Britain. * * * Singularity Google Docs: | [ Prologue ] | Incomplete Author: Hunter X Description: The emergence of the ponies and the Conversion Bureaus as seen through the eyes of the AIs. * * * The Kid, The Colt and a Filly Google Docs: | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ] | Incomplete Author: Erac Description: What would happen to a family that decided to get ponifed if their young child refused to become a pony just yet, at least until his parents prove it’s safe, and that they are not different? * * * Founding Fics Here are some of the original spin-offs that created a lot of the mythos and set the tone. * * * The Conversion Bureau: Ten Rounds Author: Defoloce Description: In the days following the Conversion Bureaus, the ponies have taken on new tactics to "convince" humans to join pony-kind. Semi-parody and spinoff of "The Conversion Bureau". * * * The Conversion Bureau: Pride Author: Pride Description: By refusing to answer "Yes" to a single question, the freshly-graduated programmer witnesses first hand the slow decay of the world; a world that could handle wars, recessions, disasters and plagues, but could not handle paradise appearing overnight. A short story set in the world of The Conversion Bureau by Blaze, this fic shows how even the most well-intentioned creatures can sow ruin without realising. Written also as a soft offset to the anti-human message found in the original. * * * * * * One-Shots Here are one shot stories set in the TCB extended universe. * * * The Conversion Bureau: Unknown Occurrences Complete Author: Beese Description: The Doctor Investigates a Ponification camp and finds a portal to Equestria. What is this force which has changed the fate of the planet Earth and the humans that inhabit it? Tags: [Crossover] Dr. Whoof, Celestia * * * One of Many Author: Mush Description: Ponies in England? Ponies in England. And trains! * * * Random Note: These are an example of either the best or the worst TCB has to offer. Which one of these they are is up for debate. You have been warned. Skip ‘em if you want the real stories, otherwise the management will accept no liability in impaired mental functions post exposure. * * * Random Open-Doc-Night TCB Extravaganza Complete (and beyond any hope of salvage, flee if you value your lives and sanity) Google Docs: [DON’T DO IT] Author: EVERYPONY Description: I have no idea what this is going to be about...but it will be manic. Or rubbish. Or amazing. OR ALL IN EQUAL MEASURE. May contain traces of undesirableness! (Naughty words, situations and banned substances). Do not read this sober. Do not read this drunk. Don’t read this. It’s barely TCB. It’s barely literature. It should probably be considered an act of war. Edit: The extravaganza is now over and I still don’t know what it’s about. There are no words for what the words say. This is truth. * * * The Conversion Bureau A Newfoal Companion Guide -or- So You Want To Be A Pony? Version: 0.2, Thursday 1st of December, 2011 *** Table of Contents: Introduction Overview Useful Links Fanart TCB Universes Editors’ Note This is an old doc, it severely needs updating, but you should take what you can get. Without a dedicated archivist (and I am no longer willing to either post TCB compilations on TCB nor shepherd this document) this information will grow stale. TCB information is best gleaned by running through this document, and then joining the Conversion Bureau group on www.fimfiction.net. Have fun, Midnight out. Introduction Hello my pony friends, this is Midnight Shadow again butting his great big head in where not wanted to bring to you a short guide on the original alternative universe of the Conversion Bureaus. For those of you looking for fanfics, I suggest you check out The Conversion Bureau Story Archive document, or the ponychan thread (which will generally have more but potentially harder-to-find fanfics in it) The ponychan thread - the current one - may have a bigger, better and badder up-to-date list of all the TCB fanfics, the TCB post itself on EqD is now generally reserved for updates only. Overview Originally by Blaze and posted on Equestria Daily, The Conversion Bureau is an as-of-this-moment unresolved tale about how ponies come to Earth to offer humans a choice: continue to live in their rundown rapidly-going-to-hell Earth, or become a pony and move to Equestria. The original has been criticized as being very misanthropic and quick to jump on the “all humans are bastards” bandwagon without building or elaborating on the mechanics of it all - some of these criticisms find their mark - but the premise itself is an intriguing one. What if you could become a pony? What if you were given another roll of the dice - a single roll - to come out as a pony? Be it Earth, Pegasus or Unicorn pony, you would forever lose your thumbs and leave the human race. You’d be given a new life with new hopes and dreams in Equestria. Would you take it? Would you reject it? Would you fight it? Would you understand it, or refuse and be unable to comprehend? All of these questions and more are being answered by ponies who have read not only the original but the horde of spinoffs. Some take the original universe as-is and fit within it’s relatively loose guidelines. Others add their own spin. Some are humans becoming ponies, some are ponies moving back to Earth. Some refuse outright, some cannot take the gift. Some end badly, some end gloriously. Even if you didn’t like the original, give some of these a spin - I won’t name favourites because that would be unfair in a guide for the whole shebang, but the ponychan thread may tell you ones you’d like to try out. If you think you’d like to write a shameless self-insert “wow I’m a pony now!” story without having to come up with unlikely premises, then steal this one - it’s fun! Guidelines Well there aren’t many - at first I was trying to stay within the original universe, but you know what? It can be as much fun not to, just be consistent. So the guidelines so far (and they are guidelines) are relatively few and simple: Try to stick to the premise outlined by Blaze’s original: ponies have been on Equestria for thousands of years, but have stuck within their own bubble-world and have either been unknown of or ignored (it’s not clear in the original - some take it that they suddenly appear without a known cause, others that they were there but separate) until for whatever reason they make contact. The ponies offer ponification for free, but you leave behind everything you were. There’s conflict there - families torn apart, friendships die...or maybe it’s a new beginning for a troubled household. You tell the story! Ponification is essentially magic - you don’t get to choose (except as the author, you do!) what you come out as. Pregnant women come out with foal the other side. The bureaus are often staffed by the mane six (for fun) or OC’s (for believability) It usually takes seven days to acclimatize, with people being called daily for a 15-20 minute session at the end of this period, after which they are “newfoal” ponies who can’t do much magic and are clumsy in the extreme. The biggest alteration I can suggest here is that there are billions of humans - one at a time would not make sense once the Bureaus are all up and running. Keep that in mind. Try to imagine how things would change or need to be changed for ponies - cars, seats, televisions, phones... Try to image, since it’s the future, what’s different to now - holovision? space ships? AI’s? These extra tweaks can bring a lot of flavour - something weird which we don’t understand but is normal to them can make the story really come alive. The HLF - the Human Liberation Front - are rabidly anti-pony, and will kill, kidnap or subdue ponies and human-pony sympathisers. These are your bad guys, though feel free to make up your own groups The IHSA - the International Human Survival Alliance. They’re the good version of the HLF and task themselves with, somehow, preserving humanity. they like ponies, and just want to preserve what humanity was and is for the future. Again, feel free to make up your own groups. PER - Ponification for the Earth’s Rebirth. These are ponies that are active in trying to turn humans into ponies to make the planet a paradise. Kind of the like the greens but crazier. Try to stick to the timeline of the universe-version you’re in: in general it’s roughly the second half of this century, pollution is rampant, jobs are non-existent and the economy is in ruins. Equestria on the other hand is flourishing and essentially growing (maybe physically, maybe just economically). Within a few short years (come on, it’s 9 billion humans so a decade is still not long enough, but eh, roll with it), most of the population of the planet are ponies thanks to the bureaus, with anti-pony groups popping up as more of what humanity was becomes obsolete and a footnote in history. The end has only been written once - by me - and I don’t consider it canon except in perhaps my own semi-offshoot. I suggest a simple, short note at the top of your story whether it’s based in, or based on the original. The former is an honest attempt to keep the rules of the “world” as they were presented. The latter gives you more leeway to deviate, or change entirely. Read at least some of the other fanfictions that have been written here - of course I’d love if you read mine too, but they’re all pretty good and each is unique. Other than that, have fun! Useful Links The story archive document Equestria Daily - the original Equestria Daily - the new collection post Ponychan - the current thread (as of 1/12/11) Fanart Some more pieces are being worked on but first, a surprise piece for “A Twist in the Tail” by Starshine Dawn: Squee! [ Ed’s Note: If you have fanart for these universes, let me know! ] A Twist in the Tail Twilight you fiend! Robo Writing Kanji - Ponies of A Rising Sun Robo making himself pretty TCB Universes NOTE: There may be some spoilers here! Proceed at your own risk, these are for instructional uses in case you like the off-shoot premises. These universes are marked with the original occurence of the deviated set of rules, and companion stories are the author of this document’s choices - the authors of the stories themselves may heartily disagree. This list is incomplete, but have fun finding them all, or where you fit! Or, make your own! * * * * * Last chance to avoid spoilers! Read on if you’re interested! * * * * * First Contact / Lost in the Herd / Midnight’s Tails This should be counted as the current manestream Conversion Bureau universe, as it is the most well-defined and most written-in definitively shared setting. The bubble-universe of Equestria is an entirely different reality, with magical energy seeping into the human world. It is eventually fatal to humans, like radiation (a trait somewhat shared with the Yellowstone the Series set). The shield is expanding, it is ‘eating’ the planet and it is presumed that one day, it will cover everything. The only escape is moving, and waiting, or becoming a pony. Highlights of this universe are a genuinely darker backstory, with pollution, crime and corruption running rampant across a world almost devoid of hope for the 99% whilst the 1% live in the lap of luxury. Equestria, on the other hoof, really is everything that has been promised - bar not-perfect ponies, wild beasts and unpredictable magic. Realism (character and event-wise, these ARE pastel talking magical ponies, after all) is valued. Stories nominally in this universe: Midnight’s Tails (tail, twist, gypsy, day the sky changed, etc), A Dinner Date, A Mare’s Tail, why, Lockdown, Change of Life, First Contact, everything by Chatoyance (see fimfiction!), An Azure Future This is the “new manestream” Last Man Standing / Yellowstone This is separated here as it has one big difference, that of intent and result, otherwise it should be considered part of the “new manestream”. Unknown to the general populous, the Conversion Bureaus are in fact the salvation for Humanity. Celestia wishes to purify the world through the use of an immensely powerful spell, and the only safe haven from the blast is in the shielded nation of Equestria. However, no human can survive the magical energies that exist there unless they undergo ponification. Most if not all aspects of LMS have come from or have been a part of the “mainstream” universe for a long while, so this along with Yellowstone could be seen as one of the seminal Conversion Bureau Altermate Universe fics. The prime difference between this and the expanded “original universe” setting are that the shield itself and it’s expansion is specifically engineered by Celestia, and that the resultant realm is the planet Earth, plus all that Equestria used to be. If your Equestria will be on Earth (claimed by Equestria) then you’re in the LMS/Yellowstone universe. If your Equestria is less a planet and more a magical realm, then you may be in the “Lost in the Herd” universe. Otherwise, it’s business as usual. Stories nominally in this universe: Last Man Standing, Yellowstone The Conversion Bureau Blaze’s original universe. Nothing can get through the shield but ponies, and humans can’t take the magic in that pocket-universe. It may or may not be physically expanding. Humans become ponies, and many are taking the plunge. Since the original is now one of the smallest and least-defined settings, it’s almost fair to say that IT is a fanfiction of the latter entries, and would almost certainly need to be rewritten to take a lot of the expanded mythos into account. Stories nominally in this universe: The Conversion Bureau, Pride Ten Rounds Further into the future, the ponies have gone from passive to active - this was a kind of subversion of the original, where niceness is actually a weapon. Ponies are more or less enslaved by Equestria and Celestia, but they like it so much and just want to help... Stories nominally in this universe: Ten Rounds, The End, Ten Charges Fragments Humanity, in becoming Pony, loses many of their negative emotions - but these emotions roam free and begin to take on a life of their own. Marked changes in this universe is that humans can become magical. Stories nominally in this universe: Fragments of Regret, Last Man Standing: Aftermath Sidelines Sidelines is very similar to Fragments. Sidelines features magical humans and a penetrable shield. The above is, broadly, true for Fragments. Stories nominally in this universe: Sidelines, Yellowstone the Series * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (like Anansi the Spider. Get it? I thought it was clever) Yellowstone Part 1: Out with the Old Two years have passed since the camps opened up, and in that time more than half the human population in the United States have shed their old skins for a new pony body and the promise of paradise on Earth. Though many have been transformed, the Equestrian ponies and human converts have remained primarily on the East Coast, leaving the mid-west and onwards abandoned, ripe for resettlement. The six remaining Native American tribes have moved into the many of the major cites of the abandoned territories and have formed a new nation in hopes of preserving their culture. With no one to maintain them, many settlements have become ghost towns ravaged by the elements. Now they lay dormant and empty, save for some that serve as lairs to wild beasts and escaped Equestrian monsters. Nature herself seems to have begun reclaiming some of the land taken from her. As the dwindling human authorities left more and more territories to fend for themselves, wild outlaws seeking riches and power make this new frontier as dangerous as ever. The only semblance of law are the Agents of the dying human governments, who have denied ponification for one reason or another. Whether it be for honor, duty, or glory, these men and women are the only defense for the now expanding pony populace. The Western Frontier has been reborn. * * * Twilight Sparkle was reading over some figures in her private office at the New York Conversion Bureau, which was the largest and most efficient one on the planet. A fact that gave her some small feeling of personal pride. She looked at the digital clock that came with the office and saw it read 4:37 AM. She released a sigh that seemed to not only express her weariness, but also her frustration. The figures she was researching were a mix of new lists of human ponification candidates and news reports of violence against ponified individuals by a radical group known as the Human Liberation Front. The numbers we staggering, and were counted in the hundreds. No pony had died yet (thank Celestia), but this was still getting out of hand. “So many,” she said. “How can a race of creatures as violent as them live and thrive? It just doesn’t make any sense.” She decided now was as good a time as any to go to her room at the bureau, at least there she could think from the comfort of a bed. She promptly stood up and walked towards the door making sure the lights were off, a habit she had needed to get used to, as human light switches tended to not have ponies in mind. As she left, her thoughts returned to the actions of the human species of late. “I mean, really! They burn and pillage the planet for…Celestia knows what, and then act surprised when they find themselves on the brink of extinction!” She passed the dormitories which were mostly unoccupied. It could easily be refilled, daily even, if not for the mandate to wait for everyone on the hall to be ponified first. This existed to build camaraderie amongst the occupants, and discourage any doubts about the process being completely safe. As she continued, she found a door that read: “AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.” “Well, this is me.” She gave a tired sigh and pushed the door open, revealing yet another hallway. She came to a fork and took a left into the staff dorms wherein was her temporary home. “It’s like they just hate the world...” a slight pause when she came to her room. “…but that’s just absurd. I mean, it’s not like the planet has been trying to kill them or anything.” She pushed open the door and entered her room, and with as much grace as a falling cinder-block, collapsed onto her bed. * * * “TWIIIII-LIIIIIGHT!” rang a voice from outside her room, “Wakey-wakey! Time to rise-y and shiny!” Twilight rolled over in her bed, looking at the clock on her wall, which showed the time at 9 AM precisely. She could only grimace and groan as she rolled onto her stomach, and prepared to leave the warm comfort of her bed. “C’mon Twilight! You’re gonna be late for ornamentation, and you are never late so I was worried that you were sick and then I thought that maybe one of the cupcakes I gave you was bad so I...” It was at this point that Twilight, with little more than an exasperated sigh, magically opened her door to the bouncing pink earth pony that was eagerly waiting to help Twilight welcome the new ponyfication subjects at today’s orientation. She hopped, skipped, and practically jumped next to Twilight’s bed. The pure and infectious grin she always wore was shining particularly bright today. “Oh golly Twilight, you look awful! Did you get any sleep? I didn’t sleep well once and I was a nappy-napperson ALL DAY! I fell asleep at one of my own parties! I was so embare…” “Pinkie,” Twilight interrupted. “Yes Twilight?” replied Pinkie expectantly. “Could you please be quiet for like…ten minutes,” the unicorn pleaded slightly, her bloodshot eyes barely able to focus on her pinker than pink friend. “Mmm Hmmm!” agreed the pink pony, making a gesture of zipping her lips together. Twilight shifted out of bed and telekinetically picked up a comb from her bedside table. She walked over to a mirror that hung on a wall and began brushing her purple-with-a-strand-of-pink mane. It was an absolute mess, with wild locks going every which-way. Twilight concluded on getting a net or something to keep her mane in line. “MM MMMM!” hummed Pinkie to Twilight. “What is it Pinkie?” Twilight asked sleepily as she turned to stare at her friend. Pinkie had her lips clamped shut around a pile of letters, one of which bearing the royal seal of Princess Celestia. A sudden feeling of dread washed over Twilight when she saw the scroll. Usually, she only got missives from the Princess via Spike and those were usually just to check up on her. For one to be hand delivered like this, Twilight couldn’t shake the feeling that some emergency had presented itself. Her thinking immediately turned towards thoughts of Spike being hurt, or worse. “Pinkie, could you inform Applejack that I won’t be able to do this morning’s orientation?” “Mmm MMMM MMmmm Mmm!” Pinkie hummed, lips still firmly closed. “Thank you,” replied Twilight, slightly bemused despite her worried feelings about the letter. When Pinkie bounced merrily out of the room, Twilight opened the letter with her magic and read her mentor’s unquestionably beautiful handwriting, “My dearest student, Twilight As you know, we are planning to not only expand into the human world, but begin healing it from the wounds they inflicted upon it. I am most pleased to announce that the first family of settlers is scheduled to leave in two days for Yellowstone, a nature preserve that the family will be at the forefront of maintaining. I am having you accompany them as I am afraid that you have not left the Ponification Center since your arrival, and it’s high time you explored this new world. The Human President has also warned me of the possible danger to both you and the family however, and informed me that he is sending his best guardian to escort you safely to your destination. The President has assured me that, although unorthodox, this guardian is fiercely loyal and will die to protect those under his care. Please be careful my student, and always remember the human world is not the same as Equestria. It may not have beasts that equal those of your homeland in size or strength, but they more than make up for it in ferocity. Your eternally proud mentor, Celestia. P.S. Wish me luck with the debate this week, as the Human Liberation Front will be my opponents. I hope you can see it, if not in body, then perhaps via a television somepony will be kind enough to share with you.” “Oh that wasn’t so bad,” Twilight said to herself. “I thought someone had died, but-” Then she re-read it. ‘Oh no’ thought Twilight. ‘Oh no no no no no no…’ * * * Her two days of preparation passed by faster than Twilight had anticipated, and she couldn’t help feel as though she was constantly forgetting some crucial piece of equipment. So while in front of the compound waiting for this human ‘Guardian’ character amongst a field of abandoned cars, she decided to run through her mental list: ‘Okay,’ thought Twilight, ‘checklist. Okay, so friends: Applejack is in charge, Pinkie and Dash are doing reception, Rarity is ponifying, and Fluttershy is…Fluttershying. Right! Good! Now gear: food, money (Dollars and Bits), flashlight with 4 sets of extra batteries, a comb, a blanket and pillow for camping, a canteen and-’ “Hey!” ‘-do I need those apples? AJ said they were good for anything but I-’ “HEY.” Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin. She was so deep in thought that she hadn’t noticed the tall figure that stood before her. “Oh my goodness I’m sorry!” Twilight tried to rearrange herself to look a bit more graceful in front of her surprise guest, but only aided in making embarrassing movements and silly faces. “Are you Twilight Sprinkle?” the man asked, his face showing signs of mild amusement. “It’s Twilight Sparkle, and yes I am.” She replied, finally taking in the man who was to escort her and a Pony family halfway across a continent three times the size of Equestria. He stood at six feet seven inches (Human measurements were so odd), and wore nothing that resembled a uniform. Instead he sported a wide brim leather hat, no doubt made from the skin of some poor cow, a red plaid over shirt with the sleeves rolled up and chest unbuttoned with a plain white t-shirt underneath, dark blue jeans covering his legs with sturdy looking boots on his feet, fingerless gloves over his hands, and a revolver and knife at either side of his hips. Twilight felt intimidated to say the least, if by nothing else than his height. “I thought human agents wore fancy suits,” Twilight said with a tinge of curiosity in her voice. “Yeah,” he replied looking to one side, like some far off thing had caught his interest, “well when the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, dress codes aren’t as enforced as they used to be.” He paused and looked up thoughtfully for a moment, “I think they said dressing casual would frighten you wee horses less.” Twilight frowned a bit before letting a forgiving grin cross her face, “We’re ponies, not horses, though you’re not the first one to say that, or call me Twilight Sprinkle for that matter!” She chuckled weakly hoping to ease the tension she felt from conversing with this human that, she assumed, had probably killed more of his own kind than she had years in her life. He gave only a weak smile back, but soon simply stared at her patiently, like he was determining in what way he should respond or silently judging her. It gave the small unicorn an uncomfortable feeling. After an awkward minute of silence he finally spoke, “Anyway, we have to get going. The settlers are meeting us at the train station in about two or so hours.” He walked over to one of the parked cars in the lot, reached inside and pulled out a large black duffel bag, its contents clunking and clanking together. Twilight was glad to see that the human at least came prepared for travel, but wondered why he would remove his luggage from his car. She remembered being told by one of her ponified friends that humans normally only owned one vehicle, but she didn’t dwell on it, as he walked to another car and opened it, throwing his luggage in. “C’mon, this one has a near full tank. Pretty good considering it’s a Ford,” he said to Twilight with a light chuckle, who moved awkwardly towards the passenger’s seat. “Is there a reason you own two cars?” asked Twilight after she deposited her luggage in the back seat and assumed her position within the vehicle. “I don’t. This car belongs to a…” he rifled through the glove compartment and found a wallet, opened it up and read, “…Jericho Lukowittz. Some name huh? I always liked the name Jericho.” He smiled to himself more than to Twilight, who was less enthused about the news. “WHAT!?” Twilight shouted. Her shock was almost palpable, “You’re STEALING this thing!?” “No,” he replied with a stern look, “you can’t steal something someone has abandoned. This car and hundreds of others in this lot are up for grabs as far as the law is concerned.” “But…” even though he had a point, the idea that she might be stealing did not sit right with Twilight, “well…If you’re sure this is alright. But if a policepony stops us I’m telling the truth! I mean the law is the law after all!” “I am the law,” he countered, a dumb grin spreading across his face like he was expecting her to pick up on some joke, but Twilight just stared back with a slightly worried expression. With a sigh he continued, “Whatever. You may call me Agent Hawk.” He extended a hand to the young mare. She reached out with a hoof and he gripped it firmly. “I am…honored Mr. Hawk,” Twilight half lied. Though he seemed like everything Twilight imagined when she thought of wild and lawless humans, she was somewhat flattered that he was there to protect her. They shook on it. After releasing the mare’s hoof, he then began adjusting the driver’s position to his liking, and from a pocket on his over shirt he extracted sunglasses that covered his vision completely. Twilight couldn’t make out his eyes beneath them, but she decided that was probably for the best, as she would feel rather nervous if she knew he was constantly watching her. This way she could at least pretend he wasn’t. She magically drew forth a book she was reading during the days before this particular experience. It was entitled, ‘An Egghead’s guide to Road Trips.’ “Groovy,” said Hawk as he started the engine and began driving. To be continued? Probably. I wouldn’t leave a story just hanging there. Unless no one reads it. Then I would abandon it and eat ice cream. Sweet…non-judgmental Ice Cream. * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (Who loves you, I guess) Yellowstone Part 2: In with the New The Ford began moving with a lurch, as if it had not been activated in at least a week. As much as Twilight hated the pollution these things caused, she marveled at the concept. A machine that moved fast enough to make land travel a simple chore, and could carry a load far greater than any pony could. Applejack would no doubt love to have something like this. Despite herself, Twilight couldn’t help but occasionally glance over at her human ‘partner’ every time he stopped the car to let pedestrians cross the street. She felt the need to converse with him. Even though she had just met him, she just wanted to talk. It could be about anything: the weather, why he carried weapons, what he thought of the mission they were on, or if he HAD killed more people than even she suspected. Anything would be preferably than sitting in silence. “So Agent Hawk,” she started, “what do you think of this mission? Pretty exciting to be going so far west, right? I hear there are many interesting landmarks and natural wonders to visit!” Twilight smiled up at him and did her best to sound genuine in her excitement. The sunglasses kept Twilight from reading his eyes for any expression or emotion, but he responded quickly, which led Twilight to believe he had been through this conversation in his mind many times before. “I would sincerely discourage hoping to get any excitement out of this little excursion. Now a days, out west, a little ‘excitement’ can get you killed. And quite frankly Ms. Sparkle, I am in no particular rush to get shot, stabbed, mauled, or eaten alive this week.” Hawk turned to face Twilight, “Not to dampen the mood or anything.” Twilight looked disheartened, to say the least, and concluded that now was an excellent time to figure out what kind of man she was working with. If the west was as dangerous as they say, she’d at least make friends with her escort. “Sounds…rough out there, you think we’ll be safe enough with just you and me?” unable to hide a small tremble of fear in her voice. Hawk smiled, picking up on the unsteady tone in her question, “Don’t worry, the train goes directly to Yellowstone, nonstop. It’ll take more than a few marauders and ill-tempered moose to cause us any trouble.” He again glanced at Twilight, “This’ll be over before you know it, and then you can get back to being an awkward shut in, working tirelessly to turn sheep into cattle.” Twilight’s face darkened at the last comment. “What do you mean by that Agent Hawk?” “Oh, nothing.” “Do you not like what we ponies are doing here Agent Hawk?” she continued, eyes scrutinizing his features. “Far from it Ms. Sprinkle, I don’t think the human race has ever been so well off or as free as it is now.” His face and tone were deadpan. “Then why haven’t you gone to be ponified?” His smirk returned, “Because I like having these.” His thumbs started to twirl in circles. Twilight, unconvinced, continued to probe, “That cannot be why you are staying in such a…” what was a nice way of putting it, “…rough state of existence.” “Are you kidding? Check this out.” He took his hands off the wheel and meshed his fingers together, thumbs facing each other. They then began spinning in opposite directions. “Pretty neat huh?” Unfortunately, Twilight was distracted from the amazing feat by a concern she was all too pleased to voice, “WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR HANDS OFF THE WHEEL!?” She put her front hooves on the dash board, gazing out the window as the car began to swerve. “Hey are you watching? This was a rare talent when it was just us humans on the earth, and by now I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who can do it.” “ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh” Hawk sighed and put his hands on the wheel, taking back control of the vehicle and narrowly avoiding a small stack of empty trash cans. “No one appreciates my talents.” Twilight decided it would be best to hold off on questions until they were out of the car, and spent the rest of the trip nose deep in her book. ‘Celestia preserve me, I’m under the protection of a maniac.’ They spent the rest of the trip in silence, Twilight only occasionally looking up from her book to make sure there were still driving on road. Eventually she put her book down and closed her eyes. ‘I wish Applejack or Rainbow Dash were here, I’d at least be able to have a laugh or two with them. Not to mention feel safer.’ “We’re here,” said Hawk gesturing out the front window. Twilight gazed on a structure that resembled a large, old, stone building that seemed more to fit as a palace than a simple train station. Hawk parked the car in front of the building’s steps. Twilight noted that no other cars were present. Hawk reached behind him and grabbed his black duffel bag. Twilight, with a shimmer from her horn, did likewise with her own pack. As the two exited the car, the doors to the train station swung open, and a tanned man with smooth black hair and a well groomed moustache began walking towards them with a wide smile. He wore only black, but not in a way that seemed intimidating, but more stylish and loose. At his side hung what appeared to be a sword. “Well, look who got here on time for once!” said the man, his accent was unlike anything Twilight had ever heard. Hawk looked up, and frowned to an almost ridiculous degree, “Zorro,” Hawk said with exaggerated disdain, removing his sunglasses in a slow, dramatic motion. Moments passed in silence before the two exploded into laughter and embraced into a hug. Twilight felt relieved that this ‘Zorro’ was evidently a friend. After more laughs, Zorro finally acknowledged the small unicorn, “Hola pequeña,” he gave her a swift and fluid bow, adding a small flourish with his hand to boot. Twilight didn’t know what he said, but it sure sounded nice. “Hello…um…Mr. Zorro, my name is Twilight Sparkle.” She gave a small bow of her own. “I know who you are Miss Twilight, I was briefed on the mission by the good Agent Hawk, but I enjoy hearing you say you name. You speak with such…grace. I am looking forward to working together with you, and listening to whatever other sounds may dance from your mouth.” Twilight couldn’t help but blush. She had never thought humans could be charming. “Neither man nor beast is safe from you…” Hawk said as he walked past them with his bag, eyes rolling in great arcs. He called back to them, “Don’t be too impressed with him Twilight, he’s dropped that line on at least fifty other girls. He’s sort of a one trick pony!” Hawk laughed deeply as he continued up the stairs. Zorro merely grinned, and turned to follow. Twilight, after wiping away a dumb grin that had somehow gotten onto her face, she trotted after the two. About halfway up the stairs, she finally gathered the nerve to ask, “Are you coming with us Mr. Zorro? I was under the impression that the human government was only sending one of their Agents.” Zorro had arrived at the door to the station and held it open for her. “The government is indeed only sending one agent, niña. I however am here on request of my old friend,” he paused to look at Agent Hawk, “I owe him that much.” Twilight moved through with an appreciative nod to Zorro for the small courtesy. “Yeah, thanks for that by the way. But regardless Z, why are you carrying around that antique? I mean come on,” Hawk replied from inside the station. Zorro looked hurt, “An antique? My poor, deluded friend,” he chided, “bullets are becoming more and more of a rarity than humans every passing day,” he looked to his hip, and then back to Hawk, “Fencing is making a comeback my friend. Soon it will be that revolver that is the ‘antique.’” With a grunt, Hawk turned towards Twilight, “Come on Sprinkles, the train awaits, and from what I hear, she’s a beauty.” Twilight rolled her eyes, “If you’re calling me that to be funny, I’ll have you know it lost its luster when I was in kinder garden.” Zorro chuckled to himself as all three of them proceeded towards into the station. The building was empty save for the three of them, and the echoing of their footsteps left Twilight with a curious thought, ‘What was this place like in its prime? It seems like such a waste not to use it.’ They all passed through two large double doors, which opened up into a great hall, with two sets of tracks. On the one closest to them, a gleaming four sectioned train sat waiting. It was not at all like the ones in Equestria, far from them in fact. This train was sleek, smooth, and hovered a foot above the rails. Twilight’s eyes widened, and stood somewhat flabbergasted. “How is it floating? I thought humans didn’t have magic!” She stared at Hawk expecting some sort of explanation. Hawk looked down to her, pride obviously fueling his grin. “Very true my erstwhile equine escort, we do not possess magic in the way you Equestians do, we use something I think is far more powerful. Science.” He paused to read her expression, which showed an obvious desire to debate the previous statement, but before she could Hawk continued, “The Magna Rail is suspended by a magnetic field that allows it to hover, as you can clearly see, but it can only do so above metal. So we will be limited to keeping it on the train tracks.” “Is it fast?” inquired Twilight. “Is cruising at two hundred and fifty miles per hour fast?” “Is it?” Hawk looked down, “Yes Twilight. It’s fast. It’ll get us to Yellowstone in about eight hours.” “Eight hours?! But according to my map, Yellowstone is in…,” Twilight took out her map of the United States and looked for the territory that she marked with an ‘X’, “Why-Om-ing, and the distance from there to here is nearly the length of Equestria twice over!” “And that’s why we’re taking the Magna-Rail, which if my report read right, comes with a lounge, sleeping quarters, and a five star kitchen.” “And something special for you my friend, that the President installed himself,” added Zorro. Hawk looked like a foal on Hearths Warming Eve, but before he could ask what it was a young feminine voice shouted, “Look Mama! Humans!” Twilight, Zorro, and Hawk each turned, and saw a family of four Earth Ponies, each standing with their mouths agape and eyes wide. Other than the mother, a yellow coated mare with a forest green mane with a blooming flower as her cutie mark, and the father, a brown stallion with green mane, with a single tree as his mark, were two fillies. The younger of which was cowering behind her father while the older seemed to be fidgeting with excitement. The mother addressed Twilight first, “Hello there darlin’, you must be our escort!” Her smile was almost as infectious as Pinkie’s. “We are just honored to meet y’all!” The older of the two fillies, a spry little thing with a yellow coat and unkempt brown mane and an open book for a cutie mark, pranced towards Hawk. “Woooooooooow! You’re so tall! I heard humans were tall, but wow!” she said, her face giddy with obvious excitement. “Busy Bee!” the mother called, “Get back here young filly!” Twilight detected a small twinge of fear and panic in her voice. She understood though, considering all the rumors about the brutal and savage humans that were probably circling around the towns and cities of Equestria. “But Mama, I wanna see if he has fangs like Scootaloo said they did!” pouted Busy Bee. The mother gave the filly a glare that only mothers could. “Right now Bee.” As she trotted back to her mother’s side, the father stepped forward, “Sorry ‘bout the youngin’, she follows gossip and rumors like a fish follows a river, but she means well enough,” said the stallion with a big smile, “. I’m Tall Leaf, and this here is the rest of the Garden family.” “The missus,” he said gesturing towards his wife, “is Morning Dew, you’ve met Busy Bee, and this little darlin,” he looked at the meek looking filly behind him, “is Merry Gold. Come on and say hello to the nice unicorn honey.” A meek little pony with a white coat and golden mane, but no cutie mark, stepped out from behind Tall Leaf. With a nervous glance towards the humans, Merry Gold trotted towards Twilight, “Hello Ma’am.” She quickly retreated back behind her father and looked out from between his legs. Twilight giggled a little, ‘She is just adorable!’ she said to herself. “Well then Garden Family, welcome to the human lands, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and these two men,” she made sure not to use the ‘gentle’ prefix for honesty’s sake, “are Agent Hawk, and his friend Zorro.” Hawk gave a tip of his hat and Zorro did a small, respectful bow. “They will be our protection against any unforeseen complications.” “Like cannibals? Scootaloo told me that humans sometimes eat each other when they can’t find anything else to chomp into!” Busy Bee exclaimed. Merry Gold scrunched up her face in disgust, “Ewww! Bee that’s gross!” “Busy Bee! That’s morbid!” cried the mother, dragging the filly next to her, as a similar look of disdain as Merry Gold’s crossed her face. “Let’s hope we avoid such unpleasantries,” continued Twilight, who was also feeling a bit queasy after that last comment. ‘How did Scootaloo get THAT thought running through her head? Maybe I should tell AJ about this when I get back.’ “All right,” Hawk finally spoke, “Let’s get this circus on the train already. Zorro, if you could please show the horses to their stables I’ll go get the train ready to go.” “Horses?” said Morning Dew raising an eyebrow. Turning her head towards Twilight she asked, “He does know we are ponies right? Not hor-“ “He knows,” interrupted Twilight, a cold stare watching Hawk enter the Magna Rail. Zorro clapped his hands together and with a big friendly smile said, “Now, my little ponies, let us board the train, please watch your step.” His voice was calm and friendly, and the Garden family followed him in with Twilight bringing up the rear. The entrance led directly into the lounge area, which seemed to have two halves. One housed an elegant arrangement of chairs and couches around a coffee table, with a luscious rug on the floor, what seemed to be a wooden wardrobe with marvelous carvings depicting the sun over a lion on the wall, and from the ceiling hung a wide-screen television. The other half had two long couches that went along the walls, and between them was another rug, which was more coarse than the other one. Zorro pointed to a door at the end of the section saying, “The beds are through there my friends. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must make sure Hawk doesn’t harm any of the controls.” Zorro then went through the door at the head of the section, which he closed behind him. The ponies pushed through the door in the rear of the section, which read “Beds” over it. The sleeping cart had four alcoves on each wall, and each alcove had a bunk and a window, plus a little light bulb for late night reading. Tall Leaf approached the closest bed, his eyes widening in amazement, “Mercy! Lookit the size of these beds! We could fit half the extended family in one of these!” “Ooh!” cried Busy Bee, “Dibs on this one! C’mon Merry we can share this one!” “Okay!” replied Merry Gold, who seemed much more at ease away from the human agents. “You can share my bed handsome,” Morning Dew cooed to Tall Leaf. A blissful smile appeared on his face, “Yes Ma’am!” The two fillies made grossed out faces, and then proceeded to suffer from a giggle fit. Twilight picked out a bed for herself and began to organize it to her liking. Then she delicately climbed onto it, taking in its cave like atmosphere. The beds were soft, like the kind of soft Twilight always imagined cloud beds would feel. ‘Amazing how such savage beings can make something so comfy.’ Twilight’s sudden, and rather judgemental, thoughts surprised her, ‘Well that wasn’t a nice thing to say.’ She shook her head to clear her mind of such thoughts. She noticed the rest of the family was finished settling in, and were beginning to move into the lounge. Following suit, Twilight entered the lounge section and found a spot on an equally comfy couch next to Morning Dew, who was admiring the furniture’s comfort as much as Twilight. The door to the outside slid shut by itself with a hiss, and a green light above the door to the front of the train lit up. “This is your captain speaking,” Hawk’s voice came, seemingly from nowhere, “I hope you’re ready, because here we go!” The train lurched forward. “Hold on to your butts!” Busy Bee exclaimed, far more excited than any other pony present. And with that, the Magna Rail shot out of the station at sixty miles per hour, and climbing. Continue? Hell yeah! When? Who knows? Next chapter’s title? Journey to the West. Ballin’. * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (Why am I still doing this? Oh right, cowboys and Zorro.) Yellowstone Part 3: Journey to the West Within minutes, the Magna Rail was well away from the city outskirts and moving gracefully at nearly two hundred and fifty six miles per hour. As Twilight stared out the window, she could hardly believe that something could move this fast. Well, other than Rainbow Dash of course. It was then that Agent Hawk came through the door that led to the cockpit, grumbling about something while carrying his large black duffel bag. He moved through the lounge and past the ponies with little regard, but making sure not to step on any hooves. The Garden Family made sure not to make eye contact. He entered the sleeping cart, threw his bag into the alcove above the one the two fillies were to be sharing and returned to the lounge. He moved towards the wardrobe and opened it up, revealing rows of books. Twilight eyes lit up and she immediately trotted over next to him. “How marvelous!” She looked over at Hawk, “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to read another culture’s literature!” She gazed at the books longingly, practically mesmerized by them. “Can you can even read it?” Hawk asked. “And if you can, are you sure you want to?” “Oh yes, I’ve had to become quite familiar with the human alphabet. Reports and things demand it.” She gave Hawk a smile, “And I’ve heard quite a few good things about human books from the people that came through the ponification camps.” “Well alright,” Hawk faced the small library, “Take your pick.” Hawk pulled out a book with a green cover and gold inlay from the shelf bearing the title ‘Unforgiven. By: Clint Eastwood.’ Hawk then went to the half of the lounge that was barren of any ponies, laid down on one of the couches that lined the walls, and began reading. Twilight was more excited than she thought she should have been. She now had access to new books, exotic books, books that she could never get in Equestria. She scanned the rows reading each title with delight. ‘The Song of Roland.’ ‘100 Mystery Stories.’ ‘The Three Musketeers.’ ‘King James Holy Bible.’ ‘The Maltese Falcon.’ ‘Fahrenheit 451.’ The list went on and on of possible choices, Twilight could barely decide which one to take first. Eventually she saw one that caught her eye. It was a rather large book that looked like the kind of heavy reading Twilight so enjoyed: ‘Tales of The Round Table.’ She trotted back to where the other ponies were relaxing and talking to each other. She sat down next to Morning Dew, who was busy nuzzling her husband and talking about their new lives in Yellowstone. Twilight shifted in place until she had a comfy little space and began reading as Morning Dew began singing softly to her enamoured husband. “I’m gonna do it Merry Gold,” whispered Busy Bee to her sister, making sure her mother didn’t hear. Merry Gold gave a concerned look, “But Mama doesn’t want you talkin to ‘em! She says they’re dangerous!” “I know,” replied the elder sister with a smile, “but I’m not afraid to ask ‘em questions! And Mama always told us to never be afraid of asking questions didn’t she?” “Well yeah,” Merry Gold couldn’t argue with logic like that, and just gave a plaintive look that seemed to beg her sister to reconsider. Making sure her mother was distracted, Busy Bee hopped off the spot on the couch she had been sharing with her sister and trotted over to where Agent Hawk was as silently as she could. He was laying down with his back resting against a corner, reading quietly. Busy Bee leapt onto the couch and sat at his feet. Hawk lowered his book enough to peer at her over the edge of the cover, only to see the smiling face of the young filly. “Can I ask you a question Mr. Hawk?” The man rolled his eyes and closed his book on one of his fingers, sighing heavily through his nose. Busy Bee looked elated, “Do humans have fangs?” Hawk took a free index finger and lifted his top lip, showing off his canines. The young filly’s eyes narrowed her eyes in an attempt to see them. Seeing the young pony unable to make out his teeth, Hawk changed position and leaned forward, making sure she could see everything. “Huh…They’re smaller than Scootaloo said they were. Whatever. Can I ask another question?” Hawk leaned back into his previous position and grunted. “Is it true humans can crush each other’s skulls with one hand?” she asked as she leaned forward with an eager curiosity. Hawk looked at his free hand and made it into an open, claw like shape. He shook his head, “A man’s? No.” He reached over to Busy Bee and put his hand on her head. She was shaking, and her smile was replaced with a nervous, upward stare. “Maybe a filly’s.” Hawk smiled and ruffled her mane a little. Afterwards he returned his hand back to his lap. Busy Bee’s smile also returned, with a slight giggle to accompany it. “I thought you humans were supposed to be scary! Scootaloo is such a fibber.” She changed her face to show mock anger and softly stomped her hooves near Hawk’s feet. Hawk once more leveled his book in between their faces. “We are scary. Especially when we’re angry.” “Do your eyes turn red and your faces get all messed up?” she asked, once again giving a curious stare. “Nah, we keep our same old faces, but they look different.” “What’s that mean?” “If you ever see an angry human, you’ll know.” Morning Dew looked up from her husband, who had fallen asleep while she had sung to him, and noticed that both the fillies were no longer in sight. “Busy Bee?” she asked, panic quickly entering her voice, “Merry Gold?” She trotted off the couch and saw Busy Bee sitting by Agent Hawk’s feet, asking question after question about this and that. Merry Gold was curled up on the floor next to where the couch met the floor, out of sight of both the human and older sister, listening intently but to afraid to reveal herself. But when Merry Gold saw her mother seeing them, she gave a small squeak. Morning Dew, fear obvious in her features, slowly walked towards the still unaware Busy Bee. Hawk shot her a glance from behind his book, stopping her dead in her tracks. It wasn’t a mean look, just one that took notice of her, but all the same it made the mother’s heart skip a beat. Hawk smiled at Morning Dew and then spoke to Busy Bee, “Your Mom is standing behind you, looking like she’s seen a monster or something.” Busy Bee’s face looked like she’d been caught doing some foul crime. She slowly turned around, “Heeeeeey Mom…what’s up?” After regaining her composure, and giving Hawk a weak smile back, she addressed both her children, “Girls, please, don’t sneak off like that again, and stop bothering Agent Hawk by askin him all the questions in the whole world.” “Oh he doesn’t mind Mama! I think he likes answering questions,” the elder sister countered, “Don’t ya Mr. Hawk?” Hawk gave a neutral kind of shrug. He reached into his pocket and removed an engraved silver pocket watch and gave a sigh. They’d only been traveling for thirty minutes. “Who wants to watch some great ol’ human cinema?” he asked loud enough for even Twilight to notice. He got up, avoided stepping on Merry Gold, and walked towards the wardrobe as the fretful mother pony gave him a wide berth. Busy Bee hopped down after him, and Merry Gold followed her sister with Morning Dew giving them very relieved, but mildly disappointed, looks. Twilight had been thoroughly enjoying the beginning of the book she was reading, but she was most interested in reading about the five knightly virtues that were the central theme of the whole piece: ‘A knight must speak nothing but the truth.’ ‘A knight must defend the weak and helpless from evil, even at the cost of his own life.’ ‘A knight must be loyal, not only to his king and his homeland, but must keep sacred his vows lest they lead to evil.’ ‘A knight must be humble before God and his fellows, be they man or woman, and generous to those in need.’ ‘A knight must show mercy to those who he has defeated and shun acts of cruelty, even in times of war and battle.’ Twilight was amazed that these ancient words from, not only a time of darkness and death in human history but also a culture completely separate from her own, resembled the Elements of Harmony so closely. Sure there was nothing that blatantly resembled the Element of Laughter, but ‘defending the weak from evil’ is something that laughing can do, as her friend Pinkie Pie can certainly attest to. ‘It’s like humanity had all the ingredients to be just like Equestria...but they were missing something.’ Twilight pondered the innumerable possibilities. But when she was interrupted by Hawk’s suggestion of a film, she grew excited and put a magical bookmark on the current page before closing the tome. She had once made friends with a ponified human, Kurt she thought his name was, who had told her that a series of films known as ‘Star Wars’ was a masterpiece of science fiction. Although war was not her favorite subject matter, she had been wanting to look into human film craft. Hawk bent down in front of the wardrobe and opened a small, hard to notice, drawer. “Okay, what are you all in the mood for?” He asked his charges, facing them with a grin. “I’ve heard very good things about Star Wars,” said Twilight. Then she remembered more of her conversation with Kurt and added, “…but only the originals.” She smiled, priding herself on remembering what seemed like an important detail. Hawk nodded in approval, “Good, but is there anything else you heard about these films?” he added. Twilight strained he memory, “Uhhhh…” ‘There was something else important to mention…Think Twilight…THINK!’ “Han shot first?” She recalled Kurt saying that often. Hawk gave an approving nod and a big smile, “You’ve learned much young Twilight, and as such we shall begin where all should. A New Hope.” And with that he gestured for the rest of the ponies to take spots on the comfy couch. The parents of the garden family looked at each other in confusion, while the fillies could barely contain themselves in their excitement. He then began the movie, which appeared on the large flat screen television which hung from the ceiling. “Twilight,” he said, “if you would be so kind as to read them the opening crawl, I’ll go prepare some popcorn.” Twilight nodded and Hawk disappeared into the sleeping cart. The movie began and Twilight read the words in a particularly dramatic voice, much to the amusement of the little ones. Hawk came back just as the crawl was finishing and placed a large bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of the ponies. He then walked towards the cockpit. “Aren’t you gonna watch it with us?” asked Busy Bee. “Nah, I’ve gotta keep Zorro company,” Hawk replied, “he can get terribly lonesome.” With that, Hawk disappeared and the movie began, lowering the camera on a dusty orange planet… * * * After four hours, the ponies had finally finished ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ and were taking the time in between movie changes to take care of certain bodily functions, while also using the opportunity to stretch their legs. Twilight was enamored with the films. Sure it was weird at first, watching non-pony actors on screen, but by the time the films had introduced the character of Obi-Wan, she was over it. Of course her favorite character was Yoda, if only for his surprising amount of wisdom. It was fascinating how many parallels she could draw between ‘The Force’ and the nature of magic that she herself had seen. For instance, the ‘Dark Side’ was based on anger, fear, and aggression, the exact things that had turned Princess Luna into Nightmare Moon so long ago. Everything the little green creature said about The Force seemed to factor into some aspect of magic, from its use in day to day life and what times to use it against something that might be threatening her. Of course the fillies loved it, and were busy pretending to fight with those laser sword things they had. Though the parents were a bit concerned about all the violence and death, they gasped right along with every other pony when Vader revealed the truth about him and Luke. All in all, Twilight couldn’t wait for the conclusion and eagerly waited in her spot on the couch. Hawk was busy putting the next film into the player, getting an earful from the fillies about the parts they liked the most. All Hawk could do was smile. Twilight was extremely pleased that everything was going better than she expected, but also a little ashamed that she had judged humans so harshly before. She kept her mentor’s warning in mind of course, that humans were savage compared to Ponies, ‘But maybe,’ thought Twilight, ‘maybe the Princess just got a bad first impression?’ Suddenly Zorro’s voiced blared from unseen speakers, “Sorry to interrupt the marathon Hawk, but you need to see something up here.” Hawk grimaced. Twilight knew that probably meant something bad. Fortunately she didn’t have to ask to come along as Zorro added, “You’d best come up here too Miss Sparkle.” With a concerned look from Tall Leaf, which was mirrored by Morning Dew, Twilight simply nodded and trotted towards the cockpit. Once within, she was joined by Hawk, who wore a concerned expression. “Is it bad Z?” he asked. “Very,” replied Zorro, not looking away from a glowing monitor. “Satellites are picking up a massive pressure drop about fifty miles ahead of us, and the Six Tribes Weather Service has issued a Watch notice.” Zorro looked over his shoulder, “The Super Cell is dropping it down within fifty meters of the tracks, and it is going to be very, very big.” Twilight spoke up, confused, “Wait, so what is the problem? What’s going on Hawk?” She looked to Hawk, who looked at her in disbelief. “You can’t seriously tell me you don’t have tornadoes in Equestria.” His tone almost sounded astonished. “Well, we have twisters, but they aren’t that big of a problem. They’re mostly out in the desert, and don’t get that big.” Twilight felt like she wasn’t completely understanding why the two, allegedly ferocious killers, were giving her such astonished looks. “Twilight,” said Hawk, his tone harsh, “Tornadoes in the human world, are like the wrath of God ripping and tearing the very Earth apart. The one that could be forming right now could very easily level an entire city.” He looked to Zorro, “Get this tin can in reverse and to a safe distance, and if you spot a cave or something tell me. If that thing comes for us we need shelter that’s a bit more stable than this thing.” He moved to leave the cockpit before adding, “Let’s hope we’re all still alive when that thing dissipates. I’d hate to not finish that marathon.” As he left to inform the Garden Family about the potential disaster, Twilight had a hurt expression on her face, which Zorro immediately addressed while pulling a lever that slowed the train to a crawl. Rain began pattering the windshield. “You look like someone just broke your heart dear niña.” Zorro chuckled a bit, trying to lighten the mood. Twilight composed herself, “Is it really as bad as Hawk said? It can’t be that terrible, can it?” She was convinced that something like Hawk had described had to be made up. Zorro looked for the right words before stating in an all too honest tone, “Hawk is not wrong to be worried. Even if it avoids us and the Magna Rail, the tracks will more than likely be destroyed, unless, by some miracle, they are too well engraved into the earth to move.” He looked at Twilight, a smile breaking his serious face. “Do not worry though, soon we will be far from harm’s way. We’ll just have to trek a thousand or so miles to Yellowstone on foot. No problem.” He returned to the controls and pulled the lever back even further, moving the train into reverse. “Yeah,” said Twilight, “No problem for a pegasus maybe.” She wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of walking half the way to a place that was already far enough away that no pony would believe her if she told them that she had traversed it in a day. She began trotting back into the lounge, where worried voices were talking. The sky had grown dark. ‘How far away had Zorro said it was? Fifty miles? Whatever this thing is it can’t be that big.’ Twilight tried to imagine the human’s measurements, and compared it to a what she imagined a ‘Human Tornado’ would look like. The image she conceived was as big as Canterlot, and was a swirling funnel of dust, like she’d seen that one time she went to Appleloosa. She grew concerned when she imagined Princess Celestia being sucked up and blown away by the enormous cloud. Before Twilight could continue thinking, she noticed that the Garden Family had moved into the sleeping area and were being shown the emergency straps hidden under the mattresses that could buckle together to restrain a man, or pony, from flying off of it. Hawk was doing a good job of explaining how to adjust and loosen the straps, and made sure to say, “Just in case,” about three times. Morning Dew was giving him her full attention, and Tall Leaf was busy comforting his daughters who were curled together in their bed, looks of fear staining all their faces. The Magna Rail made a sudden stop, making the world inside the vehicle very quiet, so that now the rain hitting the roof of the train was the only audible sound. The pitter-patter of the rain only heightened the atmosphere of tension that had formed. No one spoke, and hardly anyone could be heard breathing. Even Hawk looked wary of the unexpected stop, but eventually resumed his instruction to the passengers. Twilight moved into the sleeping cart and climbed into her alcove, locating the straps that Hawk had been going over. She brought out the straps with little effort thanks to her magic, and then she listened to the sound of the rain. Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter, Thunk. ‘Thunk?’ Twilight looked at Hawk. Hawk looked at Twilight. Something heavy had hit the roof of the train. The unicorn looked out the window. It wasn’t yet evening, but it was so dark, she could barely see anything. Thunk. Everypony was looking at the roof now. What was making that noise? Then, whatever was on the roof fell off and passed by Twilight’s view. It was what appeared to be a cow. It wasn’t moving. She felt a sudden sickness come over her, and rolled down the curtain for her window. Zorro was making his way towards the sleeping cart. As he entered he pushed a button on the wall that closed the door which made a hissing sound as it closed. They were now sealed in a pressurized space. “Better strap yourselves down. It’s coming for us,” Twilight could see the fear in his face, but he kept his tone confident for the sake of the others present. “Damn that thing is fast! Son of a gun must really want one of us dead,” said Hawk, turning to Zorro, “You didn’t sleep with its daughter did you?” Hawk paused for effect. The lewd comment sent both men into tizzy of giggles and laughs, while Tall Leaf and Morning Dew grew concerned that they were in the care of two men who thought dying might be funny. Hawk began strapping in the other ponies, while Zorro began locking down luggage and equipment. Twilight herself started going through spells in her head that could protect them if need be, which seemed all the more likely as a noise arose outside that sounded like the very air was screaming. It was a scream that was getting louder by the second. Hawk and Zorro dove into bunks for themselves after making sure everypony else was secure, and quickly strapped themselves. The screaming was now at an almost deafening level. The fillies began to cry. The parents were trying to shout comforting phrases at them. Twilight clenched her eyes shut unable to stop herself from thinking she’d never see her friends again. “Hey Sprinkles!” called Hawk over the din. Momentarily surprised, Twilight called back. It wasn’t any real word. She was too terrified think of one when she felt the train begin to shudder around her. What came out resembled an, “EH?” only it had more terror in it. “Ever rolled down a hill in a barrel before?” An odd question for a time like this. Her response was as much a question as an answer, “No!?” Hawk began to chuckle, “Well then, this should offer some ‘excitement’ for you!” He began to laugh maniacally. Zorro was whispering something in that language of his. ‘Celestia preserve me.’ The Magna Rail came free of the rails and was lifted up into the swirling funnel cloud. Tornadoes?! Oh shit! Next up: Where the Wild things are. I’ll keep going until I reach the End! Or until I get waylaid by reality! Or someone calls me names to make me stop! * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (What’s that? You want more film and book references?) Yellowstone Part 4: Where the Wild Things Are Twilight had come to a monumental decision: the next time Princess Celestia asked her to leave her home to go on some quest to parts unknown, she would very politely, and with all due respect, tell her graceful monarch to go sit on her horn and spin for a while. Twilight could barely hear herself think over all the screaming going on around her: Tall Leaf and Morning Dew were screaming, Busy Bee and Merry Gold were screaming, the very air was screaming, and last but not least, Twilight was screaming. The only ones not screaming were the humans. They had their teeth clenched and kept their bodies stiff, awaiting for the inevitable time when the Magna Rail would be reacquainted with the ground. ‘Use your magic!’ Twilight kept repeating in her head. ‘What spell? What Spell!’ Teleportation would do no good. She needed to concentrate on a place she could see or a familiar area for that to work, and right now she didn’t even know which way was up. ‘We’re all gonna die! Oh Celestia I don’t want to die! I haven’t even kissed my first stallion! What about telekinesis? Maybe I could disrupt the tornado’s spin? Size matters not, right? That’s what Yoda said right?’ Twilight reopened her eyes, and saw nothing but darkness outside. She only heard the sound of the howling winds and the other debris crashing into the section of train, which would no doubt be their tomb if Twilight couldn’t do this. Closing her eyes once more, she focused on the storm and reached out with her magic. She reached out beyond the confines of the walls and felt the storm with an immaterial hand fashioned of pure will. It was like putting a hoof into a raging river, and her concentration almost wavered from its chaotic movements. Twilight focused, solidifying her thoughts on the task at hand and began to grab hold of the very air. It wasn’t working, as Twilight should have expected. It was impossible to get a hold of the wind, as Dash would have been first to tell her. Twilight released her telekinetic hand, once again contemplating her friends. Eventually her thoughts turned to her ageless mentor, Celestia, and all she had learned from her. She remembered being taught the workings of magic, and some of the more basic principles of science, like how boats worked and how a Pegasus could fly. A loud “THWUNK” from a tree denting the wall gave Twilight inspiration. If she couldn’t grab the wind, she would grab onto what the wind was holding. Everything, big or small left a wake in the wind, like how everything leaves a wake in water. So Twilight just needed to make everything else caught in the tornado spin the opposite direction, the resulting air resistance should cancel out the Tornado. Either that or the debris would just get ripped to shreds by the wind, but despite that possibility she had a very good feeling about this plan. ‘Size matters not. Size matters not. Size matters not. Size matters not. Size matters not.’ With renewed vigor, Twilight once more reached out with her mind. She gripped a tree, then a few dozen more, and then a wide variety of wooden planks and steel rails that were once the track. She found the hardest thing to grab hold of the innumerable specks of dust and dirt that flew at near incalculable speeds, but she eventually held them all the same. Finally she took hold of the Magna Rail, possibly the largest and heaviest thing in this cyclone of death. Her horn was glowing enough to light even the darkest storm, and the others present opened their eyes to see what could only be described as a pony with a fountain of light on its forehead. With a scream of desperate defiance to a storm fueled by malice, she forced everything in the storm to spin the way she wanted. The force of exertion nearly knocked her out then and there, but she continued to push against the whirlwind with everything she had, spinning what she took from the cyclone faster and faster. Within seconds, the tornado was disrupted, and lost much of its previous bluster. The howling winds grew quiet, and Twilight released her hold on all the objects under her power. All except the Magna Rail that is. She gave the train a soft and careful descent towards the now, much calmer, earth below. After touching down, Twilight gave into exhaustion and passed out. * * * From the aching pain in her head, Twilight knew she was alive. She had trouble opening her eyes, but she knew from the cool breeze moving across her face that she was outside. She heard the buzzing of bees around her, and she felt the hard earth and soft grass that she was laying on. She breathed in the smell of wildflowers and dirt. With a slight moan, she opened her eyes to the world around her. It was a sunny day, the skies were blue as they could be with a dozen or so fluffy clouds over head. Before her was a vista of wide open fields and hills that went far off into the distance, covered in rich golden grass and dotted with the occasional tree. Twilight rested in a comfortable bit of shade under an old maple tree with sprawling limbs and wide leaves atop a hill. She had to remind herself that she wasn’t in Equestria several times. “Good morning sunshine!” Twilight spun around to see Morning Dew sitting next to her, making two circlets out of flowers and grass. The wreckage of the train was downhill, resting peacefully in the midday sun. Twilight was still groggy, but was able to ask, “How long have I been out?” “Oh, for about a whole day. We were very worried after that miracle you pulled, but when you started talking in your sleep we knew you’d wake up.” Morning Dew’s smile was like bottled sunshine and filled with the kind of love that the unicorn recognized being on her own mother’s face. Twilight did not know she talked while she slept, and was curious what was on her subconscious mind. With a slight, curious smile she asked, “Did I say anything interesting at least?” Morning Dew giggled, “Well most of it was nonsense, but…” She blushed. ‘Uh oh.’ “…something tells me that this, ‘Big Mac’ fella would love to ‘buck your apple orchard’ anytime.” If dying from embarrassment were possible, Twilight would have keeled over then and there. She looked down at her hooves and tried to think of some sort of explanation, as if she’d done something wrong. “OH! Um…yeah…Big Mac is a…Ummm…brother of a friend and he’s…well…BIG! And you see he…it…I don’t really know him that well and…” Twilight knew she was sputtering, but couldn’t stop. A reassuring nod and smile came from the older mare, “No need to worry Miss Twilight, Mr. Hawk promised not to tell anypony back east about it. Why when he heard it he didn’t so much as grin he was so worried about you. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of besides, why when Tall Leaf and I were young I…” “HAWK KNOWS?!” Twilight liked Hawk, but he was a human, and she heard from a reliable fashion minded unicorn that humans were incorrigible gossips. As if she summoned a vile phantom, “What do I know? Twilight? Is that you?” Hawk and the fillies crested the hill and made their way towards the two. “Miss Twilight!” both fillies shouted as they galloped towards her. “I’m so glad you woke up! Busy Bee was crying she was so worried!” said Merry Gold as she gave Twilight a hug with her neck. Busy Bee snorted, “I was not! And even if I was, you were the one thinkin’ we was all dead!” Twilight rolled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time since yesterday begun. With a small clearing of her throat, Morning Dew caught the two squabbling fillies, and presented them with the floral circlets. The two sisters instantly forgot all about their argument and began to run towards the ruins of the Magna Rail with their new flowery crowns. “Well then,” said Morning Dew, who stood up, “I’d best go help my husband with the salvaging. He’s always puts too much weight on his back.” She trotted down the hill after the fillies, calling to them to stay close. Hawk finally spoke, “That was some stunt you pulled back there Sprinkles.” Twilight looked him over before responding. He had buttoned his over shirt, and now wore a long brown duster coat over it. “Well,” Twilight looked back towards the train, “judge me not by my size Agent Hawk.” They both proceeded to laugh it up for a good few minutes before Zorro exited the wreckage. He now sported a black poncho made from what appeared to be wool, and a black wide brim hat that was much stiffer than Hawk’s. When Zorro saw Twilight awake, his expression brightened considerably. “My dear niña! It is good to see you up and about! I was getting quite jealous of Agent Hawk constantly being by your side!” Twilight blushed slightly. Hawk called out to him, “What’s the damage Z?” “My diagnosis? You have abandonment issues.” Hawk sighed, “To the train Z.” Zorro put a hand to his hip and another to his chin, “The only thing I got working was the GPS. And, my you’ll never guess where we ended up my friend!” “Canada?” Zorro chuckled and replied, “Close amigo! We’re about four miles away from the town of Ten Sleep Wyoming!” Hawk beamed. “Son of a bit…” he glanced at Twilight, “…gun! That tornado took us far! Right kind of it, if not for the whole trying to kill us part, eh Twilight?” She was checking her map for the town of Ten Sleep. When she found it. She couldn’t believe the math. The tornado had moved them nearly a thousand miles in less than ten minutes. She didn’t question it though. She was tired, her head hurt, and a town meant a soft bed to rest on. “Let’s just go Mr. Hawk. We still need to get to Yellowstone after all. And with that Magnet Train out of commission, it’s gonna be a long walk.” They were halfway down the hill before Twilight remembered something. “And Agent Hawk...” “Yeah Sprinkles?” “If you tell anypony about what I said while I was asleep, I’ll turn you into a newt.” * * * They entered to edge of the town of Ten Sleep in the evening, when the sun loomed just above the horizon, and the sky had turned pink and orange. All the ponies took a minute to admire the sunset while the humans seem preoccupied surveying the town with binoculars. Twilight savored the moment of silence, as the last hour or so of walking, Busy Bee had been questioning Agent Hawk unceasingly. Morning Dew gave a sing-song like sigh before saying, “Simply beautiful. Celestia must be watching over us.” Zorro looked up from what he was doing, “Let us hope so señora, the town of Ten Sleep lies abandoned and it’s overgrown with vegetation,” he got up and walked towards the ponies, “it is likely that newer, and less friendly, residents have moved in.” “Like cannibals?” inquired Busy Bee. Hawk stood up, “Let’s hope not. If Zorro tastes half as good as he talks he won’t last the night.” * * * The town was deathly quiet and there was no sign of life. Rows of houses and other buildings looked dark and empty. There were hardly any cars on the sidewalks or driveways, and the grass in the yards had grown wildly out of control. “Where is everypony?” asked Tall Leaf. “Gone,” replied Hawk, “at some point or another, everyone in town either left or died.” Merry Gold looked nervous, “So it’s a…” she gulped, “…ghost town?” She gazed at the long shadows and empty houses, some of which had their doors wide open, as if inviting them to enter. Zorro was first to assuage her fears, “Do not worry little one, there aren’t any actual ghosts. We are safe from the dead.” “That’s reassuring,” said Twilight. Within minutes, Hawk had found a house he deemed, “Adequate,” and soon after Twilight was experiencing de ja vu. Hawk had gone to the front door and knocked three times. When there was no reply, Hawk turned to the rest of the group, shrugged, and kicked the door in. The entirety of the Garden Family jumped. As Hawk entered the house, his large black duffel bag in tow, Zorro gestured to the ponies to follow. Tall Leaf hesitated, “Miss Twilight,” he said, “isn’t this illegal?” “Don’t worry,” replied Twilight straight faced, “he is the law.” Twilight moved into the door and gave a smile to Zorro as she passed by. He returned it and then looked to Tall Leaf who still stood in the waning light. With a shake of his head, Tall Leaf entered the house mumbling, “This is ridiculous. Simply ridiculous.” Night had fallen, and with a final look around, Zorro walked into the house and closed the door as best he could. Hawk had extracted an electric lamp from his bag and laid it on the coffee table in what was once the living room. Soft blue couches sat around the table, slanted towards the T.V. on the wall, and most of the seats were occupied by ponies. Morning Dew was currently humming a song to her children as much as herself and her husband. Hawk moved an ornate armoire in front of the front door, blocking it and preventing it from opening. He then made a series of odd hand gestures to Zorro, who nodded and began searching the house. After a short time, Zorro returned and declared, “Clear.” Hawk, smiling wide, opened his duffel bag and said, “Dinner time!” He passed around bottles of water and Zorro passed around the food. The ponies were given pony meal packs, something the humans had made years ago for the pony on the go. They came in little sectioned off trays and were sealed in plastic. The meals included carrots, small cucumbers, grass, some oats, dandelions, three cubes of sugar, and a box of apple juice. Even though she could taste the lack of freshness, Twilight delighted in the meal. Meanwhile, Hawk and Zorro had what seemed to be plastic bags that had the letters “M.R.E.” emblazoned on them. “Get anything good Z?” asked Hawk. “Chicken soup, and you?” “Beef stroganoff.” Twilight didn’t want to think about what they did to the poor chickens and cows in order to fit them into those little bags. After dinner and everyone found a spot to settle, Twilight made her own small globe of light which hovered around her horn, much to the amazement of the two fillies. The house was only one floor, and she could see not only the kitchen from where she was sitting, but also the hallway which must have led to the bath and bed rooms. It was remarkable how neat and tidy everything was, and horrifying that everything had just been left behind. The couches, the rug, the table, even the pictures on the walls had not been touched in some time. It was like sitting in a tomb. Twilight saw a picture on the wall of the human family who must have lived here previously, and she trotted closer to get a better look. It was a father, mother, and beautiful little girl all smiling on a sunny day under a familiar looking maple tree tree. ‘They look so happy. I thought humans hated their lives so much and that was why they all were so ready to be ponified. But why would they abandon this? This isn’t so bad.’ Twilight entered the kitchen for curiosity’s sake. There was a sliding door to the back yard and moon light illuminated a tire swing which hung from an old, unkempt looking tree. The fridge was immediately next to the entrance, so she looked at the calendar that was magnetized to its side. It was from two years ago. There was only one day circled for the entire month, the day Twilight remembered as the day the camps opened. She flipped through the calendar’s earlier entries, and it was pretty run of the mill: doctor’s appointment, dentist, Tiffany’s birthday party (bring gift!). But after the day the camps opened, there was nothing. No plans at all. The lack of future plans really disturbed Twilight, as she continued her tour of the house. Hawk and Zorro were in the living room talking with Tall Leaf and the others. Busy Bee wasn’t taking her eyes off of Hawk. Twilight chuckled at the thought that maybe she wasn’t the only one with a secret crush. She passed the bathroom, the master bedroom which was in disarray, and finally arrived at a door with a wooden plaque hanging from a nail. It read, “Julie’s Room.” Twilight had to know whose old life she be spending the night in. With a push, the door opened revealing a room so pink, Pinkie Pie would have perfect camouflage. There were teddy bears and dolls lining the walls, all neatly put into their place, and on the comfy looking bed was a book. It was the little girl’s diary. ‘Dare I?’ she asked herself as she hesitantly approached the book. Her curiosity could not be contained, she had to know. After checking to make sure no one was around, she magically lifted the book to her and opened it, turning to the last entry. It coincided with the camp’s opening day. ‘Dear Diary, I don’t want to be a pony, but mom and dad say life will be better that way. They said I wouldn’t have to live in a mean world, or pay for other grown ups problems. I like ponies, but I don’t want to be a pony. I like being me and Miss Megan said to be happy with who I was and I am. But mom and dad aren’t so I guess they will be happy if we are ponies. I want them to be happy, so I will be a pony for them. I will miss Tiffany and Miss Megan. I hope they recognize me if I see them again. Goodbye Diary.’ Twilight closed the book, and drew it close with her magic. She felt something wrong had happened in this place. She returned to the living room with a dour expression. Zorro was staring out the window, looking for something, and Morning Dew was cuddled up next to Tall Leaf. Both of them had fallen asleep on the couch. Hawk was on the opposite couch entertaining the endless supply of questions the fillies seemed to have. “And…do humans really have machines that let them fly?” Busy Bee’s voice was strained as she struggled to stay awake. “Eeyup.” “I’d like to…to fly…one…zzzzzzzz,” Merry Gold had fallen asleep next to her sister, who in turn curled close to her and followed suit. “Good night,” she said. Hawk replied in a tired, but tender voice, “Good night Busy Bee.” With that, the two fillies fell asleep, and Hawk rolled his head towards Twilight. Quietly he said to her, “They’re just like cats: cute as heck when they’re asleep, but they makes it impossible for you to move or get comfy.” “It is rather precious amigo,” said Zorro from his watch, “I do not think I’ve ever seen you so...” Zorro strained his mind for the right word. “Cuddly?” offered Twilight. Zorro nodded and smiled, “Si, cuddly fits well.” Hawk simply replied, “Whatever,” and looked at the book that Twilight had in her magic’s grasp, “Find something interesting Sprinkles?” Twilight hung her head a bit before asking, “Hawk, do you know why so many humans got ponified?” Hawk furrowed his brow, “I can’t speak for all of ‘em, but if I had to guess, I’d say they were thinking that their lives would be better as tiny horses.” Twilight wasn’t satisfied, “WHY would they think that though? Have you seen this house? It’s absolutely lovely! Us ponies thought that humans lived in misery and squalor, but…” she trailed off looking towards the picture of the family. “…but this family didn’t. So why?” Hawk gave a sigh through his nose, “I dunno, maybe they were tired of paying taxes, or getting sick, or living in fear that some accident would hurt their loved ones. It’s impossible to say Twilight. They did what humans have always done: take the option that makes their lives easier. So this family abandoned their old lives for a chance at a better one.” Twilight put the book into her saddlebag, a frown spreading over her face. ‘You can’t steal something that someone has abandoned.’ She laid her head down onto her saddlebags, lost in thought. They were more comfortable than she thought however, as weariness eventually took over and she fell asleep without a sound. * * * It was near midnight when the howling started and awoke Twilight from her deep sleep. She stared up in a half awake state, wondering what all the noise going on outside, but she soon recognized it as the baying of some hungry predators. She looked towards the window and saw Zorro looking out the window, not moving an inch. “What is it?” Twilight asked the man, concern heavy in her voice. He didn’t look away from the window, “Feral dogs. Around maybe…twenty? They’ve been circling the block for two hours. I think they finally decided what to do with us.” Zorro chuckled a bit. Twilight however, was worried. Celestia had mentioned beasts from human lands, and she did not like the word ‘feral’ one bit. “What do you think they are going to do?” “They are going to attack this little house and eat us up. Please niña, go wake everyone. I’m afraid Hawk may have been right about how delicious I am.” Zorro was absolutely calm as opposed to Twilight who was beginning to panic. The unicorn decided to wake Hawk up first, as it was officially his job to protect the group. He was asleep on the couch, with two little fillies sleeping soundly, curled up close to him. One of his arms lay over top the both of them, almost like he was protecting them even while asleep. Twilight nudged him with her hoof. He blinked his eyes open, and mumbled something about a donkey before asking, “What’s wrong?” “Zorro says twenty feral dogs are going to attack us!” Twilight was trying to whisper, but her voice was thick with panic. She had never had to defend herself from wild dogs before, and wolves never left the Everfree Forest. Hawk rolled off the couch, waking the fillies up who blinked and mumbled, trying to go back to sleep. Even in her panicked state, Twilight let out a small d’aww when Busy Bee gave a small noise and curled tighter as Hawk’s body heat left the couch. Hawk was less enthralled by it, and seemed to show signs of worry. He moved to the window, and replaced Zorro who was currently stirring Morning Dew and Tall Leaf from their slumber. There was another round of howling, which quickly sobered the Garden family from their sleep. “What’s going on? Hawk, what’s makin all that racket?” Tall Leaf was wide awake and stretching his legs out. “You’re about to find out,” Hawk turned to the group, “Alright, Zorro, you and Twilight cover the back door, me and Tall Leaf will make sure they don’t push through the front. Morning Dew, take the fillies and go into one of the rooms back there and barricade yourself and the others inside.” Without hesitation Morning Dew took hold of her children, her voice being as calm as possible. “Come on darlings, double time. Hoof it! Come on!” She trotted the two into the hallway and moved them into Julie’s Room. “Mom? What’s going on? What’s all that noise?” Busy Bee was terrified, and looked back as she walked, “Isn’t daddy coming with us?” Twilight’s stomach felt like a pit, and fear was starting to eat away at her. Hawk however was sifting through his bag, and with an “Ah-ha!” he extracted a hunting rifle and a bandolier of ammo. Zorro had drawn his sword, a thin blade with a slight curve, and slowly chopped at the air. No doubt warming up for what was to come. “Alright, Tall Leaf, if one of their heads comes into view, buck it up. Now, you have to hit to kill, alright? If you don’t they’ll just keep coming.” Tall Leaf gave a vacant stare, but blinked out of it and nodded. “R-right. Hit to…” he gulped, “…kill.” Hawk gave him a pat on his neck and moved into position at the window. “Well little one,” said Zorro to Twilight, “shall we?” His smile was somewhat comforting, but Twilight was still barely keeping it together. They entered the kitchen and looked through the sliding doors that separated the house from the back yard. There were seven dogs prowling, looking at them, licking their lips while moonlight reflected off their eyes, making them seem like little, glowing, yellow discs. Three of them were sniffing at the base of the door, and then got on their hind legs and began to scratch on the glass. Twilight heard similar noises from the front of the house. ‘Think of a spell think of a spell think of a spell.’ Twilight’s mind raced at what to cast. It was difficult to concentrate with all the scratching and howling the dogs were making. Zorro stood next to her. He had slung the front of his poncho over his shoulder revealing his sword arm, “Stay calm, niña. I’ll keep them at bay. You concentrate on scaring them off.” With a nod and sudden feeling of calm, Twilight thought things out. “You might want to cover your eyes Mr. Zorro.” Then the attack began. All at once every dog Twilight could see charged the doors, and with a loud BANG, smashed into them. They doors shattered and Twilight enacted her spell. A magnificent blast of light erupted forth from every orifice in the room. Zorro moved his arm over his eyes just in time to avoid being blinded, but the dogs were less successful. Blind and confused, they yelped and whined, running wild in random directions and crashing into just about everything in the kitchen. “Ha ha! Well done my darling!” Zorro cheered patting Twilight on the back, “Let us show these dogs the way out.” Several booming sounds came from the front, followed be an equal number of yelps and shouts. “HA! Another one bites the dust!” Hawk’s voice was almost gleeful. Twilight glanced back and saw Tall Leaf bucking a snout that had wedged it’s way between the door. She saw Hawk with the rifle taking aim and firing at the dogs that were assaulting the front. When she faced forward again there was the maw of a feral mastiff rushing towards her, murder glowing in its eyes. Time moved slower, and Twilight opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. A quick flash of steel passed between her and the dog, and after an instant, the creature was on the ground with blood flowing from a wound across its face. The warm red liquid spilled out from it and all over the floor as the dog twitched to the ground. Twilight’s scream finally caught up with her. Hawk looked back, “Twilight?!” He was about to stand up to make sure she was all right when a large rottweiler jumped through the window and attempted to snap is jaws around Hawk’s neck. The hound’s bite missed, but it did knock the man onto the ground, where it continued to go for his throat. Tall Leaf was bracing himself against the door, and looked on in terror as Hawk grappled with the wild dog. Hoping the armoire could hold the pack at bay long enough he rushed over to the dog and bucked him as hard as he could. There was a snapping sound and the dog flew a good two feet off of Hawk, landing with a whimper. The man breathed a sigh of relief, stood up, removed his revolver, and shot the dog through the head, causing blood to spray over the carpet. “Thanks,” was all Hawk said before retaking his position and resuming his shooting. Tall Leaf stared at the dead dog for what seemed a long while. Its leg twitched, and Tall Leaf began to feel very sick. Twilight had stopped screaming and watched as the blood from the dog slowly spread towards her. She meanwhile was backing up to avoid stepping in it. Zorro was slashing at any dog that got close with such speed and grace, Twilight could swear that he was dancing instead of killing. The dogs she had blinded lay strewn about the kitchen, cuts and stab wounds across their bodies. She looked outside and saw other dogs prowling, but keeping their distance. Their looks of hunger now shifted to looks of fear. Fear of the human who stood amongst their dead, with no signs of exhaustion or fatigue. The dogs hung their heads in defeat and ran off into the darkness. Hawk had stopped firing his rifle, and Zorro gave a small bow to the retreating dogs. They had driven them off. “Tall Leaf,” said Hawk, “Go to your family, and wait there with them. Don’t come out until me or Zorro come to get you, alright?” “Right,” he responded in a shaky voice, eyes never leaving the dead dog in the room. Hawk continued, “Twilight, you can go with him if you want, me and Zorro are going to clean up the bodies so the kids don’t have to see.” After a moment of thought, Twilight shook her head, “No, it’s alright, I’ll help.” ‘It would go faster with my magic,’ she thought. Twilight started in the kitchen, where pools of blood had spread almost everywhere. Putting her mind on the task on hand, she levitated the bodies out the door and into the back yard. When they rose, blood dripped off of them, and Twilight had to avert her eyes, else she might have thrown up. Afterwards she went out through the front, past a wet red spot in the middle of the room. The bodies of no less than eight dogs littered the street, all of them had one hole through either their heads, or hearts. Hawk and Zorro were carrying the bodies behind the house, and using her telekinesis, Twilight lifted the remaining ones and followed them. Twilight laid the bodies out in rows, and tried not to look at them. Every time she did, she would see something that made her stomach turn inside out. Whether it be a collar with the dog’s name tag on it, or just the dead faces of the poor mutts, she would grow sick. “What do you want to do with them?” asked Zorro. Hawk replied in a tired voice, “Well, leaving them here would make a feast for scavengers, but it might take a while for them to show up. We could bury them, I guess, give the worms something to work with.” “We should bury them,” said Twilight. She didn’t want to have to see the bodies ever again. “Right,” said Hawk, giving a look of concern towards Twilight, “got a spell for moving earth?” As a matter of fact, Twilight did. She first used it to help Applejack irrigate her apple orchard. How she wished to be back there right now, away from this scene. A glow emanated from her horn, as the dirt beneath the dogs displaced itself, and buried the corpses. Once they were all properly buried, Hawk and Zorro went inside to get the others. Twilight remained in the moonlight, and had a moment of silence. She could only think of the lives she had helped to end, she wanted to say something, but couldn’t manage it, so she thought it instead. ‘I’m sorry.’ * * * The morning came, and Twilight had barely gotten back to sleep before the sun came out and woke her. Last night seemed like just a nightmare until she left the master bedroom and saw the red stain in the living room. Grimacing, she went through the recently opened front door and took a few deep sighs, trying hard to suppress the memories of last night. Hawk and Zorro’s voices could be heard coming from the garage, and the sound of a car starting broke the silence of dawn. An open roof jeep drove out onto the street followed by a smiling Zorro. Hawk was at the wheel and he parked it in front of the house. Leaning out the side Hawk smiled at Twilight, “Need a ride little lady?” Twilight stared at him for time, processing his smile. He wasn’t bothered by what happened last night. He gave no sign of regret or pain for the lives he took. She eventually gave a weak smile back and said, “Yes, thank you Agent Hawk.” Her voice lacked any kind of emotion. The Garden family came out of the house, somewhat blurry eyed. The fillies’ eyes revealed that they had been crying last night, and Busy Bee was eerily silent. Zorro and Hawk helped them all into the car, while an awkward silence dominated the air between the humans and the ponies. The back of the car became filled with ponies and Hawk’s duffel bag. Zorro took the front seat and Hawk the driver’s position. Zorro looked at Hawk, who looked back at him. Hawk gave a heavy sigh, and then eyed the ponies. The Garden family was huddled together, staying close to Tall Leaf. Twilight was apart from the others and was staring off into the distance, her mind wandering. Hawk faced forward. “I think we could all go for some breakfast.” “What do you have in mind?” asked Zorro. “Chateau Minuit?” Hawk replied, grinning. Zorro place a hand on the side of his head, “Madre de mierda,” he sighed. Hawk laughed, “Watch your language young man, or you’ll get no ice cream.” “Ice cream?” Busy Bee’s sad face had disappeared completely, and Merry Gold’s was following right along. “I love ice cream!” said both in tandem. They then began listing off what flavors were their favorites and which ones they wished for. Twilight had snapped back to reality, and concluded that eating ice cream was an idea she could get behind. After all, Pinkie Pie had always given her some in the past when she was, as Pinkie described, “a sad Mc-Sad-y face,” and it cheered her up. Hawk smiled at Zorro like he had just won a bet, “Well then, shall we play some music?” Hawk turned on the radio, and adjusted the station. After a moment or two of static, he found what he was searching for as a voice spoke from the radio. “…ey hey hey! It’s me Jim Carter, the bringer of all the good music that you love! It’s time for some news and then some tunes. First up is some news about our little pony friends, taken straight from the mouth of the president. Seems that the first family of settlers is moving out to Yellowstone with a full blown US Marshal for an escort, and possibly the slickest train I’ve ever seen. If you all are listening, then good luck to ya. Here’s a little ditty called Day by Day, sung by the one, the only, Dorris Day. Safe travels friends.” And with that, melodious tune sprang forth from the radio. They ponies were enamoured with it, and let the lyrics wash over them. Morning Dew in particular was listening intently, always ready to learn a new song. The car drove away from the house, away from the dead dogs, and Twilight let out a sigh of relief. Every moment they spent getting close to Yellowstone was another moment closer to going home. She drifted off again, this time thinking about transferring back to her old home in Ponyville, back to where things weren’t so violent. ‘Where I won’t have to see dead dogs.’ Death in a MLP Fiction? Well it is a western! Allegedly. Part Five coming in a Week! Maybe! I’m no good with deadlines! * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (Writer’s block is bound to hit any second now) Yellowstone Part 5: Den of Vipers “Are we there yet?” The morning was passing quickly, and the knot in Twilight’s stomach had changed from one of guilt to one of hunger. It might have been rude, but she could barely think when she was hungry. “We’ll get there when we get there!” Hawk replied a bit annoyed, but Twilight could tell he didn’t mind her asking. He was as cheerful as anypony she had ever seen for some reason. “So Hawk,” Tall Leaf interjected, hoping to calm everyone’s stomachs with conversation, “what’s this ‘Shat-toe Min-wee’ like?” Zorro answered, “Well my friend, it all depends on when you go. Sometimes it is a paradise within a storm, other times it’s like…” “Getting punched in the jaw and thrown out the door because you made a few too many passes at the owner?” Hawk interrupted, chuckling to himself. Zorro nodded and laughed, “Yes, it can be like that.” Tall Leaf looked to Twilight and his family, giving a slightly defeated sigh. “Great,” he said, “another exciting opportunity to get into trouble.” Twilight’s stomach growled loud enough to gain the attention of Merry Gold, go struggled to contain a giggle. Twilight was less enthused, especially seeing as how the wind was ruining her already unkempt hair. If Rarity was here, she might have had a breakdown about all the dust and messy manes. ‘And the blood.’ Twilight shook her head. She was having trouble suppressing the memory of the previous night and all of its gruesome details. It worried her to think she might never be able to look at another dog again without the image of it bleeding to death on a floor. “We’re here!” came Hawk’s voice from the front. Twilight and the others all snapped out of their own minds and focused on the big building coming up on the horizon. It was one of the largest wooden buildings Twilight had ever seen. It was an inn if ever there was one, with dark blue paint that had worn with age. As they got closer, Twilight thought she could discern painted stars lining the door and the many windows. The structure looked like a barn with another one stuck in its side. Together they made a massive ‘T’. The jeep glided to a stop in the vacant parking lot. The front door of the establishment had a large circular window above it that was lined with silver paint. Twilight’s stomach growled again, louder than last time, possibly angry that it had been neglected for so long. “Can we eat something now?” she asked. With a nod, Hawk began to help the passengers out and onto the hot asphalt, which had dry weeds sticking up through the cracks. Busy Bee and Merry Gold ran ahead of the group, mouths watering at the idea of sweet, delicious ice cream. They pushed the double doors open and gazed inside with awe. Busy Bee and Merry Gold looked at each other, and then trotted playfully back to the car. Busy Bee did an anxious little dance in front of Morning Dew, “C’mon Mom, hurry up! I’m starving!” Hawk and Zorro were still busy unloading the parents from the car. Tall Leaf was having difficulties with his seat belt. Twilight’s stomach groaned loudly, gaining looks from the others. “Go on,” said Morning Dew, “We’ll catch up.” Twilight gave a bashful smile as she pranced over the hot ground and opened the doors with her magic. Her eyes widened at what she saw within. “Oh,” Twilight breathed, “Luna would love this…” Inside was a large open room, with the space between the doors and the bar on the far wall filled with tables. The walls painted with a large mural of happy people dancing and singing at a lantern lit festival while stars twinkled above them. There was a staircase on the leftmost wall that led up to a balcony, which itself had a door leading to a hallway. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, and from it hung glittering tin stars. At the bar, a human woman was busily cleaning the counter top with her back facing Twilight. This human was shorter than Hawk, but she was about the same age if Twilight guessed right. She had blond hair tied in a pony tail by a red bow. From what Twilight could tell from where she stood, the woman had a brown leather vest over an orange over shirt, with its sleeves rolled up and front buttoned. Her shirt was tucked into dusty old blue jeans and the legs of the pants disappeared into worn leather cowboy boots. ‘It’s rude to lurk in doorways dear,’ Rarity’s voice echoed in Twilight’s head. The unicorn decided now was as good as time as any for introductions, “Excuse me miss!” “Just a second Ma’am, I’m almost finished.” The woman’s voice was strong, but gentle and comforting to hear. Still, Twilight’s stomach was grumbling quite a lot. “I’d just like to get something to eat. I haven’t eaten anything all morning.” “Okay, okay. I’ll finish this later I guess.” She moved behind the bar and bent down looking for something. “So, what’ll it be?” the sound of clinking bottles could be heard from behind the bar. Twilight thought for a moment, deciding to opt for a healthier breakfast than ice cream. “Daisies if you please,” Twilight responded cheerfully. ‘Finally, something good to eat,’ she thought. The woman behind the bar laughed, “Daisies? What are you some sort of…” she raised her head from behind the bar finally getting a look at her customer, her blue eyes widening, “…pony?” Twilight did a polite curtsy, and was honestly surprised at the human’s own amazement at seeing her. She had thought that all humans had seen at least one pony by now. “Wait here,” said the woman, who walked up the staircase and disappeared into a hallway. Outside Twilight could hear Morning Dew giving Tall Leaf advice to get out of his seat belt, while Hawk, Zorro, and the fillies all laughed their tails off. Twilight chuckled to herself as she found a comfortable looking table. The human woman emerged from the balcony hallway hefting a heavy looking flower box in her hands. Twilight’s jaw dropped and she couldn’t stop from drooling at what had to be the most beautiful assortment of flowers she had ever seen. The woman placed the box on the table with a thunk, and wiped her hands clean of the soil on her jeans. “Hope that’s acceptable miss. I don’t think I have any daisies.” She said, unable to contain a smile. Twilight licked her lips at the bouquet buffet, “My name’s Twilight, and believe me, it’s perfect.” Finally, the Garden family and the other humans entered the building, Tall Leaf looking quite embarrassed. When the ponies saw what Twilight had at her table, they rushed over and took seats at the Table around her. “Oh Twilight, you are such a darling buying this feast for everyone!” said Morning Dew biting the petals off a rather lovely looking posy. “Busy Bee, Merry Gold, thank Miss Twilight.” The fillies removed their heads from a thick patch of tulips, “Thank you Miss Twilight!” they said in tandem before returning to the flowers. Tall Leaf gave a small sigh as he found a flower for himself to chew on. Fortunately for Twilight, who only gave a small grunt as she devoured a daffodil, there were plenty of flowers and assorted greenery in the box for the entire group to share, though she did worry about the price. A meal like this would run for about forty or so bits in Equestria, and Twilight only brought fifteen, operating under the assumption that she wouldn’t have to use this much. The humans just watched the ponies dig into their meal. The woman had a look that seemed to regard their eating as cute, Hawk looked a bit discontented at the ravenous consumption of the flowers, and Zorro just stared away from the woman. “So Megan,” said Hawk, breaking his gaze away from the ponies and towards the woman, “how’re things?” The woman, Megan, looked at him, her face going neutral, “Oh fine. Between you and the tumble weed, this makes you my first customers all month.” She leaned forward, staring at Zorro for a moment before frowning. “I hope that your friend won’t be making a ruckus like last time.” Zorro coughed, and Twilight, between chews, thought she saw him blush ever so slightly. Megan then put her hands on her hips, and turned her frown on Hawk, “And why are YOU galavanting around with a family of ponies? I thought that Joseph was sending his best agent to guard them.” The entire Garden family was looking up from their meal, when Busy Bee, in a somewhat defensive tone, said, “Hawk is the best Ma’am! He’s the biggest, strongest human I know!” Merry Gold followed up with a “Yeah! And he saved our daddy’s life from wild dogs!” Megan looked at Hawk with a grin, who just shrugged and replied, “Hey, they think Zorro is the handsomest human on the planet.” Upon saying this, all three humans burst into laughter. Wiping tears from her eyes Megan moved towards the bar, “Alright fine. I guess seeing as how you’re the biggest and strongest you’ve earned some whiskey.” Megan got behind the bar and looked to the ponies, “Are any of you gentle ponies thirsty? I can whip up some tea real quick, and I think I have some soda somewhere.” Twilight cleared her throat, “I would love some of whatever you have Ms. Megan.” Upon saying the name, Twilight’s mind seemed to explode with thoughts, ‘Miss Megan? From the diary? Could it be the same person? Should I ask?’ Twilight decided that, after weighing the possible implications, she would wait to ask Megan if she once knew a little girl named Julie. Tall Leaf and Morning Dew decided to share a cup of tea, much to the playful disgust of their children, who instead chose soda. Megan just smiled and got to work, while Hawk and Zorro sat down at the ponies’ table. “Mr. Hawk?” Busy Bee said, leading into another Q and A session. Sighing, Hawk replied, “Yes Busy Bee?” The filly asked in complete seriousness, “What’s wisskey? Can I have some?” Hawk and Zorro exchanged smiles, and Twilight heard Megan snort out a laugh from behind the bar. “I dunno,” answered Hawk, “Whiskey is best drunk with friends, so maybe if everyone drinks.” “Hawk!” Megan called, slightly aghast, but mostly amused. Twilight gave a confused glance at Zorro, who only gave a wry smile back. Celestia had told Twilight to never pass up an opportunity to experience new things with friends, and she was curious about humanity’s, non-carnivorous, foods. “I’ll try some!” called Twilight, who glanced at Morning Dew and Tall Leaf, who nodded and spoke, “Us too!” Busy Bee looked at Merry Gold, and gave a small squeal of excitement. Merry Gold also looked excited, and she tapped her front hooves in anticipation. Megan just shook her head, “Alright.” She fetched eight glasses from behind the bar and Hawk moved adjacent chairs around their table until there were enough for everypony there. Then Megan brought out a bottle with three “X’s” on it and poured its contents into the eight tiny glasses. “Whenever you’re ready,” she said, “we all drink at once.” Twilight looked at Megan’s smile. It was the same smile as a mischievous child, and though wary of such smiles, Twilight lifted the small glass to her lips. “Hold onto your butts,” said Hawk, mimicking Twilight. Everypony and every human counted to three in their heads, and in one gulp, drank from their glasses. Every pony fell out of their chairs either, gasping, spitting, feeling their eyes cross, or laughing like there was no tomorrow. Twilight herself, after the initial burning sensation, couldn’t tell if the room was spinning, or if it was just her eyes. The humans’ laughter was undeniably the most earnest laughter she had ever heard from the species. After a brief period of being on her back looking at the ceiling spin, Twilight felt her head recover from the shot of whiskey, which was more like one of Applejack’s famous apple-bucks, except Twilight’s face was the tree. Standing up straight, with only one moment of staggering, Twilight saw Zorro leaning over the table, Hawk with a hand on Zorro’s shoulder and the other on his side, and Megan on the floor clutching her sides as if in pain. They were laughing so hard, they were gasping for air. Twilight furrowed her brow at the realization that she had just been pranked. Morning Dew was on her side with a hoof rubbing the side of her head, moaning slightly, while Tall Leaf was sitting on his hindquarters, his head swaying. The two fillies were on the floor, out cold. The humans were beginning to quiet down and even started to form words, before a hiccup escaped Twilight’s lips, which sent them into another long bout of giggles and gasps. A little embarrassed, Twilight was relieved when the teakettle started to shout, as Megan pulled herself up from the floor and began preparing the tea. Hawk walked over to the unconscious fillies and picked them up. They were so small compared to him that he held both in his arms. It looked rather sweet from Twilight’s viewpoint. Through the dying chortles and chuckles, Hawk managed to say, “Megan, I’m going to put these two in the room at the end of the hall. Is that okay?” “Sure,” said Megan, pulling keys from her jeans, chucking them to Zorro, who caught them with no effort. “Go help him out Z.” The two departed upstairs, exchanging the occasional laugh. The remaining ponies all took their seats around the table, as Megan began serving tea: a cup for Twilight, another for the Garden family parents, one for Megan, and two more for the others on their return. “Well,” started Morning Dew, “that was an experience. Do you humans actually drink that…stuff?” Megan gave a bright smile, her freckles only reminding Twilight more of her friend Applejack, “We sure do, but as Hawk said, only with friends.” She sipped her tea, “Or when you want to knock ponies on their flanks.” Everyone gave a good hearted laugh as they began conversing over tea. * * * Evening seemed to sneak up on Twilight, and the last rays from the sun were painting the sky into another beautiful memory that she would cherish. As flat and dusty as this land was, it was beautiful, and she was glad that she came on this little excursion. The complementary bath didn’t hurt her mood either of course. Twilight even got to learn something about human bathing habits. When she first entered the bathroom, Hawk was in the bathtub, and when he noticed her he went red as a beet and told her to get out and wait her turn. Looking back on it though, Twilight did think it was rather silly. She had no qualms about bathing with other ponies in the room. ‘Maybe humans just like bathing alone?’ Twilight gave a small, refreshed sigh as she moved downstairs. There was still something she needed to take care of before preparing for bed. Twilight had learned much about the human woman during breakfast. Megan had two horses out back which Twilight got to meet, named T.J. and Buttercup. Twilight was amazed by their size, the two horses were far larger than the ones in Equestria. Apparently, as Hawk told it, humans and horses have been inseparable since before recorded history. Twilight took note of it and planned to write a report about how humans and the other animals of the Human Lands co-existed. She also planned on writing many other reports as well, like the similarities of the ancient Knight’s Code and the Elements of Harmony, or an explanation of magic based on the description Yoda and Obi-Wan gave about the Force. Megan was at the table they all sat at hours ago wiping off the soil from the flower box, which had been moved some time ago. Megan looked up as Twilight approached, “Well hey there sugar cube! Can I help you with something? Finding your room all in order?” Twilight felt a smile grow across her face when Megan said ‘sugar cube.’ It lacked the accent of Applejack, but it still made Twilight feel like she was with her old friend again. “Everything is fine Ms. Megan, I was just wondering what we owe you for all of this hospitality.” “Oh you don’t owe me anything, this is all coming out of your Princess’s piggy bank.” Twilight was relieved, and then mortified. “Ohmygosh! How much did we spend? Was it a lot?” Twilight moved to the table and put her hooves on her temples. ‘That feast must be at least thirty bits, and the tea is about six, and was the whiskey free? Oh no no no no…’ Megan but a hand on Twilight’s head and said, “All of twenty five dollars: two for the seeds, three for the tea leaves, and twenty for the rooms and baths. In bits however, it’d be about four for the whole thing.” Twilight stared at her in disbelief. “No way.” Megan gave a bemused smile, “Yes way. I’m sure your nation’s economy is safe and sound.” She turned and walked to the bar. A wave of relief washed over Twilight, clearing the air for another question that had been on her mind, “Megan, were you ever a teacher?” Megan looked at her. “For four whole years, before those camps of yours opened up. Why do you ask?” Twilight went to her saddlebags, which still lay on the floor next to the table, and extracted the diary. “This belonged to a girl named Julie.” Twilight levitated it over to Megan, who put her hands over her mouth as her eyes began to water. Megan reached out and grabbed it and opened to first page, and tears started rolling down her face. “Oh Julie-bean,” she said as she went from page to page. After reaching the final entry, Megan had to sit down and close the book. After a few moments of tears, she finally looked back at Twilight, wiping her face of any moisture, “Thank you for showing me this. It’s good to have some closure.” Twilight stepped next to Megan and did her best to comfort her, “I’m sorry if I brought up bad memories.” “Far from it,” replied Megan giving a weak laugh, “Julie was one of the sweetest little girls I’ve ever met.” the woman looked off into the distance, her eyes still wet, “God, she would always wear the cutest little bonnet to class every day, and she was so smart, and funny, and…” Megan buried her face into one of her hands, “When she laughed, I swear to God the world got brighter.” It was a long while before either of them spoke, and several times Twilight wanted to leave Megan alone with her thoughts, but real friends always offer a shoulder to cry on. At least that’s what Applejack told her when Spike and Applebloom accidentally broke Rarity’s prize vase and Rarity went to AJ for support. Almost without warning Megan gave Twilight a strong hug, and held her tight. “Thank you Twilight,” she said moving back, “I think you should hold onto this.” She held out the diary to Twilight, who began to shake her head but Megan insisted, “I already have memories from my time spent with Julie, and I probably won’t ever see her again. You take this, and if you ever see her again, tell her I said hi, and that I love her.” Twilight nodded. “I’ll do what I can.” Granted, she couldn’t do much, but Twilight added the task to her mental to-do list none the less. “How about some wine?” suggested Megan, again wiping any moisture from her face as she stood up. Wine was something Twilight was familiar with. She and her friends shared a bottle on all their birthdays. “I would love some,” she replied with a graceful nod. Twilight hadn’t seen Hawk for at least an hour, but she didn’t mind. She had spent her time with her new friend Megan, who was as good natured as Applejack and seemed to have more stories to tell than Twilight had books in her library. Twilight loved every minute of being with her, and for a while, she even forgot that she was talking with a human. It was just her and her new friend Megan. Laughing at each other’s bad jokes and telling their own stories of the good old days. Morning Dew and Tall Leaf were making their way down from the balcony, both of them looking somewhat ruffled. Tall Leaf was nuzzling his wife’s neck as she hummed sweet music into his ear. Twilight and Megan, warm and fuzzy from the wine, exchanged glances, and then smiled. No question what the loving couple just finished doing in a room they have all to themselves, away from any prying ears. Megan and Twilight started snickering before offering the couple a few glasses of wine. ‘Why do humans need to change? They’re fine the way they are!’ thought Twilight. A distant memory arose in the back of Twilight’s mind, one from when ponies first met humanity. “Twilight,” her mentor had said, pain heavy in her voice, “These creatures are so savage. They cause cause such pain to each other and the world around them, they live in misery and fear. We cannot stand by any longer. We have to save them and this planet which they have wounded so grievously, before they destroy everything.” ‘But Princess,’ Twilight remembered asking her, ‘They can’t be all bad!’ “I am sure they aren’t my student, but that hardly means they are all good.” * * * A long hour later, another car drove into the parking lot. It sounded like it was filled with a lot of people, and Megan’s face darkened as she got up from the table, “Excuse me a moment.” She moved behind the bar with an urgent quickness to her step. Six men walked through the door, all of them had a gun. Three of them had bandannas over their faces and long coats over their bodies, each of them carrying a shotgun. The lead man was clean shaven, and wore a hat much like Hawk’s. He wore a black shirt with its top three buttons undone, revealing a necklace that had a snake’s skull as its centerpiece. His face was wrinkled and a wicked scar came down from his ear to his mouth. At his side hung a revolver. The man to his left, who was larger, balder, and fatter but not so much that it would be a liability, had no facial hair at all, but instead wore the most vile smile Twilight had ever seen. He had a stained plain blue shirt on that was too small for his girth and suspender pants that only barely reached his ankles. In his hand was an AK-47. The third man wore a poncho much like Zorro’s, except it had a diamond design, and a wide brim hat of his own that covered most of his face with shadows. He had boots with spurs on his feet, and a Bowie knife in his hands, which he was fiddling with as he entered. “Boa, get her,” said the lead man, pointing at Twilight, his voice was soft, but intimidating none the less. The fat one, with a disgusting sort of chuckle, moved towards the young unicorn. The sound of a gun cocking rang out, “Don’t you touch her you son of a bitch,” Megan called out from behind the bar, now holding a Winchester Repeater that was pointed at the fat man’s head. Twilight moved back toward Megan, her horn glowing as she readied a spell to bind the strange men. Tall Leaf stood in front of his wife and lowered his head, ready to charge at the possible threat. Morning Dew shrunk behind her husband with a scared look on her face. The lead man had drawn and fired his revolver at Megan faster than Twilight could blink. One second he was just standing there with a cruel looking smile on his face, the next he had his gun in his hand, its barrel smoking. Megan had fallen down behind the bar, without any sound other than scream and a thump. The fat one moved again towards Twilight. “Come ‘ere honey!” his voice was guttural, “come to me baby!” Twilight released her spell and bound his arms and legs together. “What the fu-!?” was all he was able to get out before his face crashed onto the ground. The lead man sighed and gave the order to the rest of the men. The one in the poncho moved for Tall Leaf, who sent a buck his way, but failed to connect as the man deftly dodged to the side and punched the stallion in the side of the head. Tall Leaf found himself on the floor with a boot on his neck as the man in the poncho lifted Morning Dew into the air by her neck and slammed her onto the table. Within moments he held his bowie knife to her throat, discouraging any squirming she might have attempted.. Twilight panicked as three men in bandanas approached her, each leveling their guns at her. With a bang, the middle one’s head tuned on its side in a sharp and sudden movement. A spray of red erupting from the wound drew Twilight’s attention. On the balcony stood Hawk, who was fully clothed with his revolver in his hand and an expression on his face that Twilight could only describe as of pure hate. Hawk pointed his gun at the lead man, “Cottonmouth!” Cottonmouth looked up, smiling, “Hawk! It’s been too long since we last saw each other. Has it really been all of four years?” “Let go of the ponies.” Hawk’s voice was dripping with contempt. “Now.” “Of course last time we saw one another, I was putting a bullet into your back.” Cottonmouth chuckled, “And I’m sorry, but I need that little pony. You see I got big plans for her, but her friends…” he gestured to the man in the poncho, “Well Diamondback isn’t known for his gentle touch. In fact he’s right clumsy with that knife sometimes.” Cottonmouth’s eyes narrowed, “So unless you want that pretty yellow one to see how clumsy he can be, I suggest you drop that gun.” Twilight began to focus on a blinding spell, like she used on those dogs. She was trying her best to stay calm and not give in to fear, but when two hostile humans were pointing their guns at her, she got anxious. When her horn began to glow, one of the men struck her in the side of the head with the butt of his gun. She wasn’t unconscious, but she was dazed and on the floor. Hawk’s eyes went wide as he immediately shot the man who struck her, giving the attacker’s throat a new hole from which he bled profusely while gasping for air. Cottonmouth, as quick as Hawk shot his gun, shot at Hawk. Fortunately, Hawk was fast, and with a knee-jerk reaction, avoided the bullet. “Not another move Agent Hawk. You fire another round and the pretty yellow one dies.” From Twilight’s position on the ground she saw Megan, a hand was over a deep red spot on her shoulder. She was clenching her teeth, and tears were rolling from her eyes. Megan saw Twilight, and saw the bloody bruise on the unicorn’s head. With her good hand, Megan began reaching for her repeater. Hawk was shaking all over, and after five very long seconds, dropped his revolver. It hit the floor with a clack. “Whatever you’re planning, you won’t get away with it. I will kill you.” Cottonmouth let out a laugh, “That’s where you’re wrong Hawk. You won’t be around to stop me. See this time, I’m gonna shoot you in the heart.” Cottonmouth raised his gun, “Not that you got one…” Cottonmouth fired his gun. Hawk fell to the floor. Twilight wanted to scream, but her head was still too blurry to even think. All she could do was to let out a groan, “…Hawk…Megan…” The magic bindings on Boa released themselves. “About God damn time!” he said, his vile grin returning. He walked over to Twilight, who was struggling to focus. “Oooooh…darlin’ you don’t look so good. C’mere baby…come to Boa…” when he picked Twilight up, she felt him slide his hand between her legs. It was only for a moment, but it left a lasting feeling. If not for the blow from earlier, she would have screamed in protest or slung lightning at him, but all she could do was give a weak cry. Cottonmouth holstered his gun, “Grab those two Diamondback, we’ll need them. And Boa…” he turned to his fat subordinate, “Keep your hands to yourself till this is over with. I don’t need you or my little friend here distracted. Understand?” Boa frowned, like a child being denied a cookie, “Even that one?” he asked pointing to Morning Dew, who along with her husband, was being dragged by their throats outside. “Yes. Now put her in the car. You can play with them till they’re dead AFTER I got what I want from ‘em.” Boa’s face made a disgusting smile, “Oh good…that’s good.” He stroked Twilight’s mane. The strangers shoved the ponies into an old army truck that had a canvas covering of the back. Cottonmouth and Diamondback got in back with the ponies, and Boa moved up front to the driver’s position. The last man with the bandana gave a quick look around before moving to leave. Boa started the truck. The bandit walked through the front door. A loud bang rang out and a small hole exploded in the bandit’s leg. Cottonmouth gave the order to drive off as Megan emerged from the Chateau Minuit and holding the Winchester with her good hand, glaring as she watched the truck drive away faster than she could follow. She looked at the car Hawk had used to get here and saw its tires were slashed. She spat blood out of her mouth and walked over to the downed bandit, who was lying on the ground gripping the new wound in his upper leg. Megan stood over him scowling. He looked up and spit at her, in some weak attempt at defiance. She brought her boot down on his head, causing his vision to go black. To Be Continued… Hawk’s been shot?! Ponies have been kidnapped?! Zorro didn’t help?! Boa does what to ponies?! All these questions and more may or may not be answered. It all depends on how my free time looks. * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (Let’s see if I can NOT make this GRIMDARK) Yellowstone Part 6: The Hawk and the Serpent Hawk got up from his bed as he heard a car pull into the parking lot. He had been relaxing with his friend Zorro and the two pony fillies after a nice bath and some wine, and he had been hoping to have an evening of answering any questions Busy Bee and Merry Gold might come up with. Those plans were dashed when he saw the old army truck roll up. Four armed men hopped out of the back, two came out of the front. Hawk recognized the man coming out of the passenger’s seat immediately. “Zorro, stay here and whatever happens, keep those two safe.” Zorro stood up from his bed and tried to hide the concern in his voice, “Come to me niñas.” He scooped up the now very confused fillies and placed them on the bed behind him. “Hawk, what is it?” “Yeah Mr. Hawk,” asked Bee, “what’s going on?” She gave a sudden look of fright and asked another question, “Is it more wild dogs?!” Hawk hastily extracted and donned a kevlar jacket from his black duffel bag. There were a few things in this bag he would have liked to bring, but those took time to prepare, and time was not on his side. He covered the vest with his over shirt and duster. He glanced at his friend, and then to the fillies. They looked terrified. So was he to be honest, but he had people to protect so fear wasn’t an option right now. Hawk answered Zorro’s question with one word, “Cottonmouth.” Zorro nodded and pulled the fillies in closer. They all heard Megan’s voice from downstairs, “Don’t you touch her you son of a bitch!” Drawing his revolver Hawk moved out of the room and down the hallway. There was a gun shot. Moving at a run, Hawk reached the balcony overlooking a scene he had hoped never to see, especially on this trip. Two out of three ponies were hostages, Megan was bleeding behind the bar, and three men were advancing on the last pony. Hawk should have shot at Cottonmouth. He knew he should have shot at Cottonmouth, but he didn’t. Hawk took aim at the lead man advancing on Twilight and fired. Everything after that happened in a blur that ended up with Cottonmouth shooting him in the chest. A great many thoughts raced through his head at first, mostly berating his choice of targets, but eventually there was one that stuck. Hawk was on the ground and his vision was going black, the only thought was one of anger at his failure. In his head, one angry thought kept repeating: ‘NO! GET UP! GET UP AND KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!’ * * * Zorro came into the hallway when he saw the army truck leave. The gunshots had worried him enough, but the fact that it was the bandits getting away made him fear the worst. He couldn’t stop the fillies from following him even if he wanted to, and he truly wish he could if only to spare them from the sights they were about to see. What Zorro saw first was the body of his friend Hawk, lying on the balcony, bleeding. Busy Bee let out a scream of terror. Rushing over to Hawk’s body, Zorro examined the wound with intense focus. He looked for a pulse and smiled beyond measure when he found one. It was slow, but there, and that was enough. “Hawk!” Zorro shouted, trying to stir his friend. Merry Gold stood next to him sobbing, while Busy Bee stood on his other side, crying aloud, “Is he okay? Is he gonna be okay?!” tears making small puddles on the ground. Megan’s voice came from outside, “Zorro! Are the fillies safe?” Zorro hefted Hawk’s body over his shoulders, responding “Yes Megan, they are safe, but Hawk needs surgery immediately!” Zorro carried Hawk down the stairs and placed him onto the closest table as gently as he could. Megan entered, dragging a man in behind her with her good arm and flung him onto the floor. “Is he going to make it Z?” “Maybe. The bullet only just stopped at his heart, though it went through a rib and the kevlar to get there. He should live. Hawk bears a charmed life after all.” Megan gazed at the fillies who stood on the balcony looking down. Busy Bee and Merry Gold were just staring at the carnage left by the humans. They looked confused and scared, unsure of what was taking place. Merry Gold asked on behalf of Busy Bee, who was far too choked up, “Is Mr. Hawk going to be okay?” Megan gave them a smile, “You bet. It’ll take more than a bullet to down this hawk.” Megan desperately wanted to believe that, but she had seen men die from less. She did her best to not show any signs of distress. Her shoulder began to hurt again. “Megan, I need another hand in here,” said Zorro. Megan leaned forward, wincing in pain, and laid her good hand onto Hawk’s. * * * The operation seemed like it took an eternity, but eventually Zorro had patched Hawk up the best he could. Megan only having only one good arm slowed matters down, but to the surprise of both humans, Merry Gold came forward to help. More surprising was that she seemed to have a talent for it, remembering even the slightest details and movements almost instantly. When it came time to treat Megan’s wound, Zorro swore Merry Gold could probably have done it herself. With bloody hands and hooves, the three took to the many chairs that lay strewn over the floor. Busy Bee and Merry Gold sat by Hawk’s side curled up together, and did not seem ready to leave it anytime soon. Zorro and Megan sat a bit of a way off, sharing a bottle of some kind of booze. The label had long ago worn off, and Megan couldn’t remember what it was previously. Zorro and Megan regarded the man Megan had captured, who was now tied to a chair next to the bar. Zorro had given him the Sherlock Holmes treatment and tried to get an idea where Cottonmouth’s lair might be based on observation alone. Unfortunately, all Zorro got from the attempt was that where ever it was, it was dusty, and a dusty area in the mid west was rather common. “…geh…t… up” moaned Hawk. The fillies’ ears perked up and smiles exploded onto their faces. “Mr. Hawk!” shouted Busy Bee, “Megan, Zorro! Mr. Hawk is waking up!” Hawk opened his eyes. “Where…?” Zorro moved over his friend, “Amigo! You’re alive!” Zorro put his hand onto Hawk’s and gave it a squeeze. Megan also stood next to the wounded man, and though she didn’t say anything, her tears and smile spoke volumes. Hawk continued, his tone void of all emotion, “Cottonmouth. Where is Cottonmouth?” Zorro gave a small sigh, “We do not know yet, but we have one of his men. I was thinking that with the right persuasion he would talk.” Hawk began to sit up, “Where is he?” “Over there, tied up. He’s unconscious,” Megan gave a small laugh, “guess I hit him too hard.” Hawk got up with a grunt, much to the discouragement of Megan and Zorro. The fillies were awestruck however. After all, Hawk was back. He and Zorro would save their parents from the bad humans. Not even guns could stop him. Hawk lurched towards the bound man, “Well. I’d say it’s time to rise and shine.” Hawk unsheathed his knife. It was then Busy Bee really saw his face. Saw it wasn’t the Hawk she knew standing there before them. Sure he looked the same and had the same face, but his eyes were all wrong. They were darker, more menacing, and the air around him lost that comforting aura Busy Bee had come to know. It was instead replaced with something cold. With every second of this realization, the filly’s joy faded and was replaced with a growing unease. Without question, he looked angry. “Busy Bee. Merry Gold. Go to your room with Megan.” Hawk’s voice was cold and sharp, and demanded obedience. The two fillies left without a word, neither of them dared to look back. Megan followed them as fast as she could, and closed the door to the fillies’ room. She sat on the bed with them, trying to think of ways to assuage their fears. “Miss Megan,” started Busy Bee, “What’s wrong with Hawk?” Megan gazed at the small pony, debating whether to tell the truth. “Hawk is very…” she was never any good at lying, “…protective. If someone or something hurts the people he cares about, he gets very angry.” Somehow, the news that Hawk cared about them didn’t comfort the two fillies. Their thoughts had recalled the movies they had watched on the train. They were worried that Hawk was turning towards the Dark Side. Downstairs, Hawk had begun to wake up the unconscious prisoner. Smelling salts proved effective enough, and the prisoner was well awake within a minute or two. The prisoner looked up, and stared at Hawk defiantly. Hawk began his interrogation by pinning the man’s hand to the bar with his knife. The man let loose a scream that chilled everyone to the bone. Everyone save Hawk, who only scowled harder. Hawk drew close to the man, looking him dead in the eye, “You are going to tell me everything about Cottonmouth’s whereabouts, and what his plans are.” * * * It was dawn when Twilight opened her eyes. Her head still hurt, but at least now she could think somewhat straight. As far as she could tell, she was in an old iron jail cell, in an old wooden building, no doubt in some old human town. Across from her in another cell were Morning Dew and Tall Leaf. Both seemed no worse for wear, though it looked like they both had done an awful lot of crying during the night. Outside the cells, there was a door to her right that led outside, and to her left was a desk beneath a barred window. Cottonmouth was sitting at the desk, his boots propped up on it. The one called Diamondback stood behind him. Diamondback’s hat had made his face too shadowy to make out, but Twilight could tell he was looking at her, and it was not a kind look. Cottonmouth spoke, “Finally, she’s conscious.” He stood up and walked in front of Twilight’s cage, Diamondback following close behind. Twilight rose to her hooves, albeit wobbly, if for no other reason than to not show weakness to her captor. “Why have you kidnapped us?” she asked, the words barely audible. “Because,” said Cottonmouth, “I need your help with a little favor.” Twilight was taken a bit off guard with that statement, “Why in the name of all that is good would I help you?” “Because if you don’t, or if you fail to do what I ask,” his face came level with hers, “I’ll let Boa have his way with that pretty mare over yonder. He’ll do things to her. Vile things that should only exist in nightmares. And I’ll make you watch every second of it. Every wicked, depraved second. She’ll beg to die before it’s over, but it’ll only get worse. That’s why I know you’ll help me, because you ponies can’t stand to see another one of your own suffer.” Twilight looked on the human with horror. What scared her most was that her was absolutely right. She couldn’t let Morning Dew or Tall Leaf suffer even if helping them meant helping Cottonmouth. Twilight lowered her head, “I…I’ll help, just please don’t hurt us. What do you want from me?” A grin grew across Cottonmouth’s face. His reply was cold, “Listen good: all I need you to do is make some of that ponification potion you all use in those camps, but with a little added condition.” He leaned against the bars, “Leave out that bit that takes away all the bad in a man. If you do this for me, you all go free.” Twilight was stunned. “That’s it?” she asked surprised, “You kidnapped us, threatened us with torture, and killed other humans for that?!” “Yes, simple as that. That is if you make it right. Now, we got an understanding?” He locked eyes with Twilight’s, sending a shiver down her spine. Twilight knew there was something bigger at work in that man’s head, but she dared not show any defiance. Not yet anyway. “I’ll need some ingredients.” Diamondback threw a notepad and pencil into Twilight’s cell. Cottonmouth stood up straight, saying, “Then you’d best make a shopping list. You have three days before I make good on that, ‘threat’ Miss Twilight. Do not try any of that magic of yours either. If you do, the husband starts losing body parts.” Cottonmouth left, leaving Diamondback with the ponies, leaning on the desk. Morning Dew began to cry all over again, and Tall Leaf was doing his best to comfort her, but he was tearing up too. Twilight began scrawling the names of ingredients she would need, tears from her own eyes dropping onto the paper. She looked out the window above the desk and saw a tree. In the tree was a hawk, and in its beak was a dead snake. Her tears stopped flowing, and a warmth started to fill her. A tiny fire of hope arose in Twilight, ‘A good omen if ever I saw one.’ * * * It had taken an hour, a couple of threats and Zorro’s good cop routine, but Hawk had managed to extract the location of Cottonmouth’s lair from the prisoner, a Mr. Henry “Copperhead” Sweets. A ghost town from back during the gold rush, named Sweet Water. Hawk also learned that Cottonmouth had seventeen other men, not counting his lieutenants, a private jet hidden somewhere that was fueled and ready to transport him anywhere in the country, sub machine guns and shotguns out the ass and a mountain of ammo. Doing a frontal assault was not the ideal plan. “Anything else I should know about Cottonmouth, Henry?” Hawk loomed over him, holding his revolver against the prisoner’s head. “Like what he wanted with the unicorn?” The prisoner stammered, blood loss from his pinned hand taking its toll, “He…he only said he needed…Needed it for the potion they make. The ponification...That’s all I know I swear! Please let me go…please!” Hawk began to squeeze the trigger. Zorro however, placed his hand on his partner’s shoulder, which gave Hawk pause long enough for him to reconsider. Hawk knocked the prisoner unconscious with a swift punch to the face. His chest gave out another painful stab. After moving the prisoner into the back room, Zorro treated his wounds, much to Hawk’s displeasure. “Hawk,” said Zorro before he had left the room, “don’t lose focus on me. You coming close to that edge that I’ve seen a lot of men fall off of. I would rather not see you become a murderer.” Hawk considered the words, but only replied with a grunt. He walked into the main hall, and saw Megan on the balcony, shaking her head. “Did you have to make him bleed all over the bar? I have to clean that you know.” She gave a weak smile in an attempt to lighten the mood, and the sides of Hawk’s mouth did crack into an ever so small grin, if only for a second. “Megan,” he said, “get three coffins ready. It’s time we reunited Cottonmouth with his boys.” Megan gave him quite a look, like he had asked her to give him the moon. “You ask for the damndest things Hawk.” Hawk just walked into the back room, and then through the back door and into the stable where Megan kept her two horses. T.J. and Buttercup stood waiting, and looked at Hawk as he entered. T.J. was an older golden-brown mare with white spots on her flanks and one right between her eyes, whereas Buttercup was a completely black stallion whose youth made him strong. Hopefully strong enough to cart three coffins and a wagon by himself. Zorro walked in, carrying Hawk’s duffel bag. “So amigo, who are the three coffins for?” he said, picking up a saddle. “Cottonmouth and his two friends I hope.” Hawk put his hand over his heart, wincing, “Nah. One’s for me.” * * * In the time after Cottonmouth had left, Twilight had noticed several things about their guard Diamondback. He never moved, he never blinked, and he never spoke. He just watched. Until Boa entered the room that is. Twilight saw Diamondback give a disgusted look as the fatter man approached with three plates of day old cabbage. ‘Edible but hardly appetizing,’ thought Twilight. Tall Leaf and Morning Dew both leaned away from Boa as he passed. Boa blew Morning Dew a kiss which made Twilight want to vomit, a sentiment which Diamondback seemed to share. “It’s noon sweethearts, that means you get to eat! You’ve got to keep your strength up after all,” he eyed both Twilight and Morning Dew, “don’t want to be weak for all the fun we’ll be having later.” He turned to Diamondback, vile grin dissipating, “Your shift is over, these lovelies are under my watch now.” In an instant Diamondback had slammed Boa’s head onto the desk and put his knife in the fat man’s face. “I seem to recall,” Diamondback’s voice was scratchy and stern, “Cottonmouth said that you weren’t to come within fifty feet of those things.” He inched the knife close to Boa’s eye, “Gave orders to kill you if you had a problem with that. And you know me Boa,” the knife point danced over Boa’s cheek, “I do so love following orders.” After quieting a panicked breath with a gulp, Boa finally gave out a few weak chuckles, “O-okay Diamondback, you’ve made your point. I got it. I’ll be patient just like the boss said to be. I’m going now.” Diamondback let him up, and Boa walked out the door looking back nervously, scowling every so often. When he was gone, Diamondback slid the plates of food through the bars with his foot, and then returned to his position. Morning Dew looked up at him after he resumed his waiting. “Thank you,” she said, again lowering her head to her meal. His face did not move an inch, and his eyes didn’t flicker with the acknowledgement that she had said anything. Twilight began her own meal going over what she had learned so far today. ‘One, Diamondback does not like Boa. Two, lunch comes at noon. Three, Diamondback doesn’t seem to care what happens to us, he just follows orders like a soldier ant or something…’ She looked out the window again, the hawk had left, but there was a feather in the tree that it had left behind, which was enough to keep that little fire of hope alive. ‘…I can work with this, I just have to think. What would a clever pony do? Or hay, what would a deceitful human do?’ Twilight got an idea, but it involved Morning Dew and she wouldn’t like it. In fact, Twilight was pretty sure that no pony would like it. * * * Busy Bee was getting impatient, anxious, and a whole lot of other adjectives that meant she wanted to do something other than sit in a room and wait. “Where are they?” she asked, “When are they gonna save mom and dad?” Merry Gold lay on the bed, “I don’t know, but I hope it’s soon. I miss mom’s songs, and dad’s dumb looks he gives her.” “Even if they are gross!” said Busy Bee beginning to laugh. Despite herself, Merry Gold joined in with a giggle as sweet as a bird’s song. It was the first real laugh either of them had since last night, and it was well received. It made it seem like everything was going to be fine. “Now that is a sound I like hearing,” Zorro’s voice came from the door. His face showed equal signs of bemusement and worry. “Zorro! Are you and Hawk going to get our parents now?” Busy Bee’s hopeful smile was almost more than the swordsman could bear. “Soon little one,” he crouched down to one knee, “Hawk, Megan, and I are all going to get them back. We have a plan, and your two’s job in it is to help Megan.” He gave a look like he didn’t agree with what he just said, but he said it, and the fillies almost exploded with joy. Busy Bee was beyond excited to know she would be helping to save her parents. They were bound to succeed now, she thought, nothing could stop her from getting her parents back. Not even getting shot would stop her. She’d be just like Hawk: brave and unstoppable, ignoring bullets like they were nothing. Hawk, meanwhile, was barely able to stand. That bullet had done quite a number on him and without something to focus his hate on, his adrenaline rush was wearing off and made the pain in his chest all the more intense. It was past noon and Hawk’s plan was coming together. Zorro would be working his ass off to get those coffins ready, and Megan was busy bringing out an old horse drawn wagon. Hawk had busied himself by going over the contents of his duffel bag. When everything was all laid out like this, he tended to question if he was paranoid, or compensating for something. He shook his head, concluding that he was just prepared. Of course having three handguns, two magnums, three rifles, one high powered sniper rifle, a collapsible RPG launcher, a couple pounds of C-4, a fold-up crossbow, a hundred feet of rope with grappling hook, twelve sticks of dynamite, an assault rifle, an auto shotgun, a double barreled sawed-off shotgun, and a enough ammo to keep each weapon well fed for an entire minute of non-stop firing, did seem a little overkill. “Son of a bitch,” said Megan as Hawk placed a small flame thrower on the ground next to the rest of his armory, “Do I get any of these?” Hawk turned, trying to block out the pain, “Is the wagon ready?” Megan gave Hawk a dry look, “Yes, and Buttercup is hitched to the front of it.” Megan began walking around Hawk, “Why are we bringing the little ones Hawk? They don’t need to see this.” Hawk was silent for a bit before saying, “Because they were going to follow us out there whether we wanted them or not. It’s just how these Equestrian ponies are I guess, especially the kids.” He sat on a large wooden box, “They just have to help. Even if we don’t want them to.” Megan gave a thoughtful nod. “C’mon,” she said, “Zorro’s earning his keep today. He made lunch.” She left for the bar room, leaving Hawk alone. ‘First lunch…’ Hawk thought to himself, moving towards the bar, ‘ ...and then, revenge.’ To be Continued. Next chapter: Shit goes down Gunfights, swashbuckling, explosions, and cute little ponies! Seriously though, next chapter’s delivering the action I promised If it doesn’t I’m going to be very cross And let’s see if you guys can figure out the plans Place your bets! * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (It’s almost over!) Yellowstone Part 7: Judgment Day When night fell, two armed men came into the jail where Twilight, Morning Dew, and Tall Leaf were being kept under the watchful eye of Diamondback. Their warden had not moved since morning and had not spoken except when he confronted Boa. If not for the fact that he blinked once every hour or so, Twilight would have believed him to be made out of wax. A bandit walked over to him and said, “Boss is back sir, and he wants the unicorn in his office.” Without a sound, Diamondback reached around behind himself and withdrew old iron keys as he moved towards Twilight’s cage. With a loud clatter he unlocked the cell door, and in a voice that seemed to be dripping with venom, simply said, “Move.” Twilight shuffled out with her head lowered, and took a long glance at the parents of the Garden family. Their expressions showcased a certain hopelessness that gave her a sense of unease. Twilight was then escorted outside by the two unnamed bandits, one in front and one behind, while Diamondback went back to his previous position at the desk. Outside it was cold and dark, with oil lanterns signifying the few buildings that were inhabited. The buildings themselves reminded Twilight of Appleloosa, except older, and much less friendly. Scanning all she could in her march, she discovered that the layout of this town was remarkably similar to the Equestrian frontier village. There was a large building with swinging doors and a lot of noise within, ‘That must be the saloon,’ thought Twilight, squinting in the darkness for any other obvious landmarks she could use later. ‘Bell tower, the jail of course...’ The convoy approached a building at the end of the main street which seemed larger than the other buildings, except for the saloon. ‘Mayor’s office perhaps? Why are all these buildings so far apart? It makes my whole plan a bit more complicated than it needs to be.’ As the trio approached the front door, it opened to reveal Boa , who stood grinning at Twilight. She experienced a very uncomfortable shiver down her spine, with the simultaneous urge to puke. “Well howdy doo,” said Boa swaying a pistol about as he spoke, “I’ll take her from here boys.” The guard in back hit Twilight’s flank with the butt of his gun, “Go on. Get moving.” Twilight’s hooves felt like lead. ‘This is it Twilight. Let’s hope Boa is as stupid as he is ugly and wicked.’ She moved forward, her head slightly higher than previously. As she passed Boa, she heard him lick his lips, and used every ounce of her willpower not to cringe. The interior of what was indeed the mayor’s office and home was lavishly decorated with fine rugs, oil lanterns and Twilight could hear music being played from somewhere in the house. The lobby was large, and had four possible escape routes. The front door, the huge stairway that led to the second floor, and hallways on either side of the lobby. Boa closed the front door and moved behind Twilight, “This way honey pot.” He pointed his gun to the door on the left of the room. He then gestured for Twilight to go first saying, “Go on sweetie, don’t be scared, I’ll be right behind you.” ‘Oh Celestia, I am going to have nightmares over this.’ Twilight gulped down her fear and enacted step one of her plan. “Thank you Mr. Boa. I feel much better in the presence of a Big, Strong, man like you.” Twilight tried to coat every word of that sentence with whatever feminine charm she had picked up from Rarity. ‘Now to see if my guess was right.’ Boa leaned his head in close to Twilight’s, while placing his free hand on Twilight’s flank. “Well ain’t that the nicest thing I heard all day.” His breath was awful, but the mare was able to give a shaky smile. “Why, Morning Dew thinks that you should be the one giving that Diamondback orders. You’re obviously stronger than him, and she thinks you have so much more…” Twilight gulped down some vomit, “…charisma.” After a small silence, he looked down slightly, mumbling to himself, “…I won’t need to be stronger than him if I put a bullet in him…” The hand on Twilight’s hindquarters gave a slap to her flank, eliciting a surprised noise from the unicorn. “Can’t keep the boss man waiting any longer darlin’. But don’t you fret, we’ll be together real soon.” He pointed at the door again with his gun hand, and Twilight moved towards it with as much swiftness as she could without breaking into a gallop. ‘I am never doing that again.’ The door opened slowly, revealing a fully equipped chemistry lab with boxes on the far wall. There was even a large cauldron in the center of the room. Cottonmouth was sitting in a comfortable looking chair, where he sat fiddling with the snake skull of his necklace. “Come into my den Miss Twilight. I got you your materials, now you make me my potion. Then you and your friends all get to leave.” He was obviously lying, and Twilight gave a slight grunt as she moved towards the materials these bandits had no doubt killed for. “I still don’t see why you want me to do this for you. It doesn’t make any sense.” Cottonmouth let out a small laugh under his breath, “Tell you what. You get done fast enough, and I might tell you what all this is about.” Not the answer she was hoping for, but it was enough to get her curious. Twilight set her mind to the task at hand. In reality, making the potion wouldn’t take long at all, but Cottonmouth didn’t know that. And every second she could stall this crook would be worth it. She knew Hawk would be coming for her, and he would need the time to prepare. * * * Zorro sat at the front of a wagon steering the stallion, Buttercup. Zorro never knew why Megan named the poor boy that, but despite his name, the horse was fierce and powerful. The three coffins in the back of the wagon weren’t top quality, but they would serve their purpose in Hawk’s plan. Zorro just hoped it worked. Megan rode up next to Zorro on T.J. who also carried two saddle bags, with a sleeping filly in each. “We should be there by sunrise. Hopefully Cottonmouth lets his boys sleep in,” Megan said, eying the coffins with worry. Zorro smirked at the thought, “And I hope you are a good shot with that new toy Hawk gave you.” Zorro pointed at the sniper rifle holstered on the side of T.J. Megan returned the comment with a smile, “And I hope you can still use that sword of yours. It might be embarrassing if it turned out you were all talk.” They both allowed themselves a small laugh in order to quiet their nerves. They were walking into a bad situation and they knew it. The fillies were a great help squashing the fear Zorro and Megan had felt. They had the unwavering belief that everything would be fine, just like in the cartoons, and despite it all, Zorro believed it right along with them. * * * Twilight had stalled for about four hours. ‘Long enough,’ she thought. “There. Now we let it sit overnight, and it’ll be ready for the enchantment.Then you can let me and my friends go.” The large cauldron next to her bubbled with boiling water and tea leaves. Twilight considered taking a sip of possibly the most delicious brew of Sweet Honey Apple tea she had ever made, but decided against it. Cottonmouth let out a tired sigh, “Only if it does what I want. And why don’t you just cast the enchantment now?” Twilight gave a neutral look, “The ritual dictates that the enchantment must be cast when the brew is hit by the first rays of morning.” It didn’t of course, but it should buy enough time for her plan to go through. Cottonmouth frowned, “But why?” “It’s magic. That’s just how it works.” Twilight retorted, ‘I don’t have to explain manure, especially to him.’ With a scowl Cottonmouth snapped his fingers twice, and Boa entered the room. “Escort the unicorn to her cell.” “With absolute pleasure sir!” Boa gave a bowed slightly, gesturing for Twilight to come to him while he pointed his gun at her with his other hand. How could she refuse that charm? When they left the manor, Boa slowed his pace and got behind Twilight. She kept walking, trying to quicken her pace without it being too noticeable. She could only guess at what Boa was doing behind her, but everything she thought of made her sick. To her great amazement, Twilight was actually relieved when she caught sight of Diamondback, standing on the porch of the jail. At least Boa couldn’t touch her now, but she still needed to proceed to step two of her plan. “Oh Mr. Boa,” Twilight cooed softly, “Would you be so kind to bring breakfast to us early? For the sake of Morning Dew? She’d be so grateful, that I’d bet she’d be liable to do anything to thank you for it.” ‘I hate this plan. I really, really, hate this plan.’ Boa didn’t respond, but she did hear him give a hum that sounded like he accepted. As they approached, Diamondback stood to the side of the door. Boa was about to give Twilight a spank on her rump, but Diamondback’s glare reminded him of Cottonmouth’s orders. With that, Diamondback led Twilight to her cell across from the couple, who were asleep. Twilight also had to get some rest, so she found a comfy enough place on the floor to lay down. If everything went according to plan tomorrow morning, Boa and Diamondback would get into a fight, and Twilight would teleport herself and the other two ponies to safety. True she didn’t have a plan to live out on the plains and prairies, but she knew Hawk would be along soon. He was the best after all. ‘Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day,’ she thought as sleep overtook her. * * * It was before sunrise when Twilight was nudged awake by a boot. Her bleary eyes focused on Diamondback’s scowl. “Move,” he said, his tone as venomous as ever. As much as Twilight was disgusted to admit, she really wanted Boa to show up right now. ‘Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Show up you monster!’ Twilight dragged her hooves as she walked out of the cage, ‘C’mon! Where are you? Did he see through the lie? Was it not convincing?’ Twilight’s slowness earned her a kick to the rump from Diamondback, “Move faster.” Twilight quickened her pace slightly, gazing at Morning Dew. She and her husband were watching her go, their eyes full of fear and concern. Twilight could only respond with a pained look of her own towards Morning Dew. ‘This is not good. Not good at all.’ The main street was deserted except for a few patrolling guards. Diamondback seemed to be the one escorting her to the mansion today, which bothered Twilight immensely. If he wasn’t in the jail, then Twilight had practically thrown Morning Dew into the lion’s mouth. Her mind raced at possible ways to fix this problem. She was drawing a blank as she and her captor grew nearer to the mansion. Boa opened the front door, arms gesturing for the pair to enter, “Come on Diamondback. Cottonmouth is getting antsy.” Boa blew a kiss towards Twilight as she passed. Twilight entered the mansion followed by Diamondback. The unicorn breathed a sigh of relief when Boa closed the door and pursued them. At least the fat man would be with her instead of alone with Morning Dew. Twilight was brought into Cottonmouth’s den, where he and three other goons stood waiting. Cottonmouth had a box on his chair that was making tweeting noises. Cottonmouth stepped forward, looking tired and frustrated, “Almost sunrise little one. Better hope you made this elixir right, or you and your friends are gonna suffer like never before.” ‘I won’t let that happen. I can’t let that happen. I just hope Hawk is on his way…’ thought Twilight, her mind focusing onto the present task. She approached the cauldron and regarded it with tired eyes. The water was boiling, and the tea leaves she had put into it had long since sank to the bottom. The contents didn’t matter of course. The water they handed out at the ponification camps was just water with grape flavoring and a powerful sleeping drug in it. The actual work came from the enchantment that was placed on the water. The reason the subject needed to be asleep was because the transformation process from human to pony was not a painless one. Twilight’s thoughts drifted to the first day a human was turned into a pony. She was there, in the lab with the human doctors and pony magicians. Even the Princesses were there. The human’s name was Cathy Barnes, or something similar. Twilight heard that she had a condition known among humans as ‘battle fatigue.’ Twilight remembered that Cathy had come to, ‘get rid of the nightmares,’ and to stop the pain. When the test started, and the transformation began, Twilight remembered closing her eyes as Cathy’s body started to rearrange itself. She remembered Cathy’s screams, and the sound of bones snapping to fit the new body. By the end though, Cathy was fine. She was weak from the experience, but she had become happy, and couldn’t stop saying ‘thank you’ to every pony there. No pony was pleased with what had happened, but that was how the spell worked. All they could do was offer a remission from the pain. “Here it comes,” Cottonmouth’s words interrupted Twilight’s trip down memory lane. As she prepared to cast the enchantment, she considered throwing in a sleep spell out of habit, but eventually came to the conclusion, ‘Nah.’ The tip of her horn glowed with violet light as the sun peeked out from behind distant hills, and its rays cascaded down the main street and in through the windows. Twilight released the spell, and the water sparkled for a few seconds, like fireflies were caught inside the boiling waters, before dissipating completely. Twilight felt that her time had run out, and now would be the moment to get out of town. “There’s your ponification potion, and I hope you’re satisfied. Now can you please release me and my friends?” Cottonmouth regarded the brew, then looked at Twilight and gave a cold glare, “When we know it works. That was the deal. Anaconda, you’re up.” One of the goons stepped forward and grabbed a small glass from a cabinet. Anaconda dunked the cup into the cauldron and took a drink. After two seconds of nothing, he dropped the glass onto the floor. It bounced off the wood and rolled towards the door. The man gripped his sides and moaned in agony as one of his legs bent at an odd angle with a snap, sending him to the ground. Twilight couldn’t look, but all the humans seemed to be watching intently. Cottonmouth even seemed to be smiling. Anaconda was beginning to shrink in size and began to grow gray fur from his skin as his hair color turned into a deep shade of black. His hands balled up into fists, and skin grew over his fingers and knuckles which began cracked and broke into what would soon be hooves. After a minute of screams and crunching noises, Anaconda now stood at Twilight’s height with a gray coat, black mane, and a storm cloud as his cutie-mark. Cottonmouth stepped forward, “Can you move?” he asked. Anaconda took a few practice steps and nodded. Cottonmouth reached for the box on his chair that had tweeting noises coming from it. He opened it up to reveal three newborn chicks. He dumped them on the floor with a simple instruction to Anaconda, “Kill them.” “What?!” screamed Twilight, “Why? They’re just chicks! Please don’t-!” Tears were already forming in her eyes, but when she looked at Cottonmouth, he just gave her a cruel smile. Twilight shouted something as Anaconda hoofed one into the fire that kept the pot boiling, and proceeded to crush the other two underneath his front hooves. All that was left was a mess of feathers and red. Cottonmouth nodded his approval, “Good work Miss Twilight. It seems your spell has left Anaconda with his love of killing small animals. You’ve kept your end of the bargain, so I guess I should reward you for your hard work while my boys clean up this little…” he glanced at the red and yellow stains, “…mess.” With a few quick gestures he motioned for the pot of tainted ponification water to be moved elsewhere, and for all but Boa and Diamondback to leave. Cottonmouth sat in his chair, looking at Twilight who stood silent, tears running down her cheeks. “You must be thinking, ‘why’?” he said, “Am I right? Why go to such trouble?” His wicked smile returned, “Power, pure and simple. You see it’s hard for an outlaw like myself to make a living in the civilized world, with all these U.S. Marshals and ponies running around. Things are getting to orderly for me to run a business.” He gazed out the window, squinting, “You see I need there to be a certain amount of misery and chaos to operate to sell my fine wares. I was making a killing before you four legged freaks showed up. The cities were teeming with people ready to buy the poison I peddled, but that damn princess of yours showed up and ruined everything.” He again faced Twilight, looking her in the eye with malice, “So I went out west. Less people. Less police. Less hassle. Less money too. But then I heard about those potions that turned men into abominations like you, and I thought to myself, ‘Would that change anything into a pony?’” Cottonmouth’s gaze turned darker, and his words colder, “So I snuck into one of those camps, and stole some of that potion. I gave it to my dog, and sure enough, he turned into a pony.” He began to laugh to himself while he spoke, “Most retarded one I ever saw too. Damn thing thought it was still a dog. But it gave me an idea.” Cottonmouth looked at to the two stains on the floor, smiling, “You see, this potion of yours seems to only turn things into one of three things: your normal freaks, like those two I’ve got in the jail right now, horned ones like you, and those winged ones. I figure that anything that isn’t one of those three is vulnerable to this potion. So I would use it to turn that Immortal Sun Goddess of yours into a mere mortal, and fill her veins with so much poison that she’d bleed green.” Twilight reeled at the thought, that one human could be so insane as to want to kill the mare that wanted nothing more than to save humanity from itself. “Of course I couldn’t get close to her,” Cottonmouth continued, “And if I took the form of one of you things via the potion at one of your camps, I would not want to kill her. So I needed an assassin that was pony in shape, but a killer at heart.” He pointed at Twilight and gave her a big smile, “An assassin you provided. Tomorrow, during the debate between the…” Cottonmouth rolled his eyes, “…Human Liberation Front and your beloved princess, Anaconda will slip her the poisoned drink and turn into a simple pony. Then my very best poison will kill her in front of millions worldwide. When that sister of hers sees her sibling’s corpse fall on that stage, why I suspect she will blame the HLF and cause an inter species incident.” Cottonmouth clapped his hands together, “A war will start in all of its glory, and all of its horror.” Twilight was flabbergasted. “You’re completely insane. What makes you think they won’t find out it was you who did this?” Cottonmouth gave a thoughtful stare at the unicorn, “Because I know that the young princess Luna has some,” he twirled his hand in the air, “Baggage. Baggage that makes her into a monster of vengeance and hate. A monster that will blindly kill hundreds of thousands of humans for what they did to her sister. But thanks to you, in the chaos of this coming war, not only will I not be human. I’ll be a four legged freak like you, but still be able to gget rich from selling arms and drugs to the inevitable human resistance.” He smirked to his lieutenants, “Though I wonder if ponies can get off on cocaine?” “But that’s hardly your problem,” he said as he pulled his pistol from its holster and pointing it towards Twilight, “My sources tell me that you are that divine bitch’s star student, so in case things go south you are going to stay with me as my star hostage.” Twilight knew that nothing she could say would help her situation, and talking about the other two might get them killed. Or worse. So Twilight remained silent, and gave Cottonmouth the most hate filled glare she could muster. “Boss!” came a voice from outside, “BOSS!” “Diamondback, go see what that idiot’s up to.” Diamondback left the room without a word, leaving the door open. Twilight was left with nothing but her thoughts, ‘This is insane. Why are they like this? What happened to make them like this? Oh Celestia I couldn’t save Morning Dew or Tall Leaf. I can’t save you.’ Her head lowered as she began to sob, ‘I can’t save myself.’ “A wagon just showed up. Says he’s an arms dealer that just got some good swag from an abandoned military depot. Says he can get us more, if the money is right. I put him in the barn under guard.” Diamondback looked at Cottonmouth through the door, who nodded. Diamondback then proceeded out to the barn. Cottonmouth chuckled, saying, “Sometimes I think I’m just too lucky. By the way Boa,” he said to the fat man, “We won’t be needing those other two. Go have fun with them.” Boa’s face spread into a devious smile as he nearly skipped out the room towards the jail, leaving Cottonmouth alone with Twilight. She just looked at the two stains on the floor, sobbing every so often. “Might as well get comfy,” said her captor, “Won’t be long now until the world as you know it changes.” * * * Boa entered the jail, key in hand to the cell with the two ponies. His excitement was extraordinary, and his patience was thin as is. The two ponies looked up, and Tall Leaf stood above his wife to defend her. He seemed to know what was coming. “Hey there sweet stuff, I don’t think me an’ you have been acquainted quite yet.” He licked his lips as he fumbled with the lock. As he opened the door, Tall Leaf charged him, but Boa gave him a backhand to the face with enough force to send the stallion down to the floor stunned. Morning Dew screamed as the fat man grabbed her mane and dragged her out of the cell. Boa merely giggled to himself “Yes! That’s it! I like it more when they struggle!” He shut the cell door, locking Tall Leaf inside and unable to help. Boa brought Morning Dew over to the desk and threw her onto of it, keeping her head pinned so she couldn’t raise it or look away from the wall. His grip prevented her from bucking at him, leaving her with the grim realization that all she could do was scream. “That’s what I want to hear! Shout it out for that husband of yours to hear!” Boa began to chortle as he began to slide off his overalls, making Morning Dew cry even louder. “Oh darlin’,” moaned Boa, “when I’m through with you, your ass is gonna be red and bloody!” *click* “So will that wall when I’m through with you.” Boa turned to see the business end of a double barreled sawed-off shotgun. All he could get out was, “FU-” before Hawk pulled the trigger for both barrels. * * * Zorro stood behind four of the bandits, his hand on his cleverly concealed sword, waiting for Hawk’s signal. So far the plan was going well enough: Hawk had snuck out of his coffin while Zorro distracted the guards with the dog and pony show that was his introduction as a weapon salesman. The guards were currently browsing the fine selection of ammo and equipment that were held in the other two coffins, and all Zorro had to do was make sure to be behind them when the shots started going off. The man known as Diamondback entered the barn and gave Zorro the once over. Zorro did much the same. After a second or two, Diamondback moved through the four goons and began looking at the equipment. There was a boom from somewhere in the town. ‘And that must be Hawk,’ Thought Zorro. He drew his sword, and cut down three of the five unsuspecting bandits before they even thought to look up. The Fourth looked at Zorro with surprise while reaching for his gun, but Zorro gave him a quick stab through the heart before his hand touched his pistol. Diamondback was not as unprepared as Zorro had hoped. Without hesitation, Diamondback rolled away from him, and at some point and from somewhere, drew not only a Bowie knife, but a curved cavalry sword with a snake’s rattle tied to the hilt. Zorro threw the front of his poncho over his shoulder, taking a defensive stance and cocking an eyebrow. “Huh,” he said, “two swords.” Diamondback began to circle, rattling the hilt. “This will be exciting.” * * * Morning Dew was shuttering terribly as she watched little pieces of Boa’s skull slide down the wall in a mix of blood and brains. She was currently experiencing a few emotions, chief among them was relief, shock, and heart pounding terror. “Dear Celestia! Morning Dew! Morning Dew are you alright?!” Tall Leaf called in a panic. Hawk had crouched over the now headless body of Boa and retrieved the keys. After releasing Tall Leaf from his cell, the colt dashed to his still shaking wife and immediately began comforting her. Hawk moved to the door and threw a brick of some sort of putty out of it. “Don’t worry darling. Shh, shhhh…” cooed Tall Leaf, avoiding stepping on Boa. “H-he was going t-to…” stuttered Morning Dew looking at the bits of Boa in her mane. Hawk extracted a remote from a pocket of his coat and clicked a button. A very loud explosion came from outside accompanied by the several screams. Hawk dashed next to the ponies, “Morning Dew, Tall Leaf, we have a small window of time where I can get you to safety. Your children are waiting for you.” Morning Dew’s head turned quickly and she locked eyes with Hawk, “My fillies? They’re here? Where?!” Hawk glanced out the door and pulled out his revolver, “They are with Megan.” A shot rang out from outside and a bandit flew to the ground from a sudden impact to his chest. One of the others called out “SNIPER!” Hawk turned back to Morning Dew, “They’re safe. Now come away from the wall.” He pulled a small cube of putty out of his coat, placed pins in it, and stuck it to the wall of the jail. The three of them moved away from the wall as Hawk pressed another button, causing the wall to explode. After letting the ringing in their ears go away, Hawk pointed at a far hill, “Run to there and do not stop or turn around!” Tall Leaf nudged Morning Dew up and they pair ran through the new hole in the wall, and before he left, he gave Hawk a grateful nod. Hawk returned it with a tip of the hat. * * * Twilight’s ears perked up as she thought she heard thunder. Cottonmouth’s face flashed with worry, “That sounded like a shotgun. You six!” he yelled at the men in the lobby, “Go to the barn and make sure nobody’s being stupid.” They all replied with a nod and dashed out the door with rifles and shotguns. Twilight stopped crying as a smile somehow spread over her face. Hawk was here to save them. She knew he would come. Cottonmouth looked out the window, his revolver drawn, and ignoring Twilight. ‘Now’s my chance!’ Twilight focused on the tree she had seen outside her cell window, the one where she saw the hawk. Magic danced up her horn as she felt the familiar surge of power. With a flash of light, she was outside the jail’s back wall next to the tree. No sooner had she appeared, a giant explosion rocked the earth and made her tumble to the ground. ‘That must be Hawk.’ She dashed into the alley between the jail and another rundown house, and beheld a small crater as well as three of those six men that were sent out. The other three were beginning to stand and recuperate their senses. The first one to do so began charging towards the jail, but a loud bang sent him down to the ground. One of the others shouted, “SNIPER!” and took cover inside a nearby building. Twilight spotted Diamondback running into the saloon. More masked bandits were breaking the windows and sticking the barrels of their guns out of them. Another explosion came from behind her. Curious, Twilight ran back behind the jail and saw Morning Dew and Tall Leaf making a mad dash for a far hill. She decided to investigate the smoking hole they came from, and there stood Hawk, his back turned to her. Her face beamed with excitement, “HAWK!” He looked at her with a face of mild surprise which changed to the biggest smile Twilight had ever seen on a human. Before she could say how much she missed him, he already had his arms around her in a solid hug. “Thank God your safe,” he said burying his head against Twilight’s neck. Twilight was beginning to blush as her eyes watered, but Hawk pulled away, his face serious, “Run to that hill and stay with Megan. Me and Zorro have this under control.” Shots started to sound out from the saloon, and another couple came from the hill. Twilight looked Hawk in his eyes, and saw that they weren’t the same as when he had just seen her. They were more menacing. They looked like they were full of hate and fury. But Twilight was not deterred. “No Hawk,” she put her hoof down, “I have to stop Cottonmouth. He’s planning to kill Princess Celestia and if he succeeds it’ll be my fault. I need to help stop him.” Hawk made a face. “Fine. Just keep your head down.” Twilight beamed up at him, and gave a determined grin, “Don’t worry Hawk, you have the Element of Magic by your side!” Hawk chuckled, and for a moment Twilight saw his eyes go back to the way they were before. “And you have a force of nature by yours.” * * * Diamondback and Zorro were still sizing each other up and circling in the middle of the barn. Diamondback kept rattling the hilt of his sword, and it was making Zorro anxious. It was distracting to say the least, but he assumed that was the point. Zorro took notice of his and his opponent’s positions. “I hate to point this out, but you have given me an opening,” said Zorro, a grin spreading over his face. Diamondback’s eyebrow twitched. “The front door.” Zorro dashed out into the street towards the saloon as fast as he could. Zorro could tell just by looking that he couldn’t take Diamondback on in a level playing field, so he would need to get creative. Diamondback threw his bowie knife at the retreating man, and sent it flying straight for Zorro’s back. Fortunately an explosion to Zorro’s left shook the earth beneath his feet and caused him to trip, sending the knife flying far above him. Zorro got up quickly and saw the tower of dust rising from the street. “That must be Hawk.” Rattling was coming from behind him, and Zorro didn’t need to look to know who it was, so he continued running into the saloon. Bursting through the doors Zorro only had a second to take in his surroundings. It was almost like a set from a movie: there was the bar to his left, an open area filled with tables, a stage to the right, stairs on the far wall that led to a balcony above the bar, and a chandelier above the tables. The sound of breaking glass could be heard from upstairs. Wasting no more time as the rattling drew near, Zorro jump-stepped onto one of the tables and turned to face his attacker. Diamondback had picked up his knife and entered the saloon, blood lust in his eyes. Zorro just gave a wave of his sword, “I have the high ground. Maybe you should surrender?” Diamondback answered with a slash from his sword towards Zorro’s ankles. Zorro jumped to the next table and readied himself. Diamondback hopped onto the table Zorro just left. Both tables were shaky, making it difficult to get solid footing. Just what Zorro was hoping for. Diamondback continued with his offense with a slash from above, which Zorro deflected and countered with a stab to the chest. But Diamondback blocked with his knife and sent Zorro’s attack away at an awkward angle, sending his own sword for Zorro’s neck. Zorro wouldn’t have been able to get his sword up in time, so he ducked the swing and jumped to another table, getting a little closer to the stairs. He stood, adjusted his hat, and renewed his defensive stance. This time it was Diamond back who smiled, shaking his rattle, “Having fun amigo?” Zorro looked at him in the eye, and he saw the wanton lust for murder in them. Zorro smiled anyway and said, “Si.” Diamondback jumped to a closer table and sent a wild swings to Zorro’s left side. More quick deflections from Zorro sent Diamondback’s sword out of his hand. It soared over the bar and landed with a rattle. “Y tú amigo?” Diamondback sneered, and the two swordsmen stood at a standstill. Someone outside called out, “SNIPER!” Zorro lunged his sword towards Diamondback’s heart, but a knife smacked the tip away, and Diamondback’s free hand gripped Zorro’s arm and pulled him off of his table. Shots began to ring out from upstairs. Zorro hit the floor hard with his back, but was able to keep his sword in his hand. Diamondback jumped off his table and landed on the bar. He jumped down and retrieved his rattling cavalry sword. In these precious few seconds, Zorro had rolled to his feet and was making his way to the staircase. Diamondback leapt over the bar and began to pursue, reaching Zorro just as he got to the stairs. Zorro turned and began to back up the staircase while Diamondback stalked closer, rattling his sword the entire time. Zorro eyed around for anything that could help, something that could help even things up weapon wise. On the wall he spotted something: a coiled leather bull whip hanging from a nail. “This’ll do.” Zorro plucked it from the wall with his free hand, but kept it coiled. It wouldn’t do him much good on the stairs. Diamondback sent two more slashes at Zorro in rapid succession, and were easily blocked by Zorro’s own sword. But every time Zorro sent a stab or slash to counter, Diamondback blocked it with his knife. Diamondback charged up the few stairs between him and his enemy, trying to get in close enough for his knife. Apparently he was getting tired of Zorro blocking all his attacks too. Zorro wouldn’t be able to cut him down in time to avoid getting a stab himself, so he leapt over the guard rail, choosing instead to cling to the banister of the stairs. Diamondback ran past him and when he stopped, he looked around in mild confusion before seeing where his opponent had gotten. With a sick smile, he approached Zorro, “Well, maybe I should use that whip to hang you while we’re up here.” He raised his sword to slash at Zorro’s hands, “Or maybe I should just watch you fall.” Zorro did some quick measurements, “I think I’ll fall.” Zorro jumped off from the railing and lashed out the whip towards the chandelier. It wrapped around the ceiling ornament beautifully, and Zorro used it to swing onto the balcony above the bar. When he landed, Diamondback looked confused and angry. Zorro just blew him a kiss and ran into a nearby room, where four goons had taken up firing positions. When they noticed Zorro, they turned and fired, but Zorro jumped into a roll towards them, and the bullets went high blasting out the wooden door frame. Zorro rolled to his feet and slashed one of them across the chest and another he stabbed in the heart. The other two tried to reposition their shots, but were cut short as their heads gained new holes in their foreheads; a gift from Megan, which Zorro needed to thank her for later. Diamondback soon appeared in the doorway and was bearing down on Zorro fast. Without missing a beat, Zorro jumped out the window and landed on the roof of the saloon’s porch. Keeping his momentum he ran for the lower building to his right which, thankfully, was close enough to jump to. He leapt the alley between the buildings and made a very ungraceful landing on the slanted roof, causing him to slip and slide down. Before he went over the edge completely, Zorro stuck out his legs and braced himself against the wall of the saloon. He ended up with everything below the shoulders perilously hanging above they alley, while supporting himself with his legs and shoulders. Diamondback was hot on his heels and landed his jump, keeping his footing. Turning around, once again having a gloating expression cover his face, walked slowly down the incline, once again rattling his sword. Zorro’s heart was pounding as certain death approached, while beneath him lay almost certain death. ‘Maybe we should fall. We’d survive the fall right? Yes, but we might get our legs broken wouldn’t we? Hijo de tu puta madre!’ Zorro looked below where his legs were on the saloon wall, seeing a window between his feet. In its reflection was another window. Above him stood Diamondback, who was laughing as he sent a downward slash at him. With a great deal of effort, Zorro raised his sword up and the blocked the attack. Diamondback was playing with him, but Zorro didn’t mind as it meant he wasn’t paying as much attention. Zorro twisted around onto his stomach and released his feet from the saloon wall. He slid over the edge and gripped onto it firmly with his hands, swinging into the building below him through the window and leaving Diamondback on the roof. “That’ll buy me some time to think of something,” Zorro breathed out, and finally acknowledged the sound of gunfire going off everywhere. “Why did Hawk get to save the ponies? I wanted to save the ponies, not fight Mr. Sword Guy.” He left the bedroom he had recently arrived in and made sure to prop something against the door as he shut it. “I thought I was the only sword guy.” Zorro looked around his current building, and saw that it was in fact, as small church. He currently stood on a balcony overlooking the pews. Plenty of hiding spots. It wasn’t long before Diamondback kicked the door open from the room Zorro had entered through. Both blades stood at the ready, and Diamondback looked around warily. He had never been in this building and wasn’t familiar with the layout or all the little nooks and crannies that came with it. The orange light of the early morning streamed through the windows giving poor illumination to the dusty hall of the church. A squeak of floorboards came from downstairs, and Diamondback moved swiftly. He descended the nearby spiraling staircase down to the ground floor, where he stood in front of the double doors of the entrance. There was no sign that anyone had been in this place for years. Diamondback proceeded to walk up the aisle, glancing down each row of pews. There was a creak of wood from behind the large wooden crucifix. “Think God will save you from me?” called Diamondback as he began shaking his rattle. “Maybe you haven’t noticed, but the only gods around these days are those two sisters…” he drew closer to the cross, which emitted more sounds of creaking floorboards the nearer he got. “…except that soon there’s only going to one of those little freaks flying around. But I wouldn’t to worry about it too much if I were you...” Diamondback arrived at the cross not noticing that the creaking had stopped, “...you’re not going to see anything past today anyway.” He swung his sword around to strike at whatever was behind the crucifix, but hit only air. There was a whistling sound before Diamondback felt something sink into his back and stick out of his chest. Staggering, he turned slowly, dropping his knife and sword, and saw Zorro a dozen feet away. It looked like he had just thrown something. Diamondback’s vision went dark and he fell to the floor with a gasp. Zorro walked over to Diamondback’s body and withdrew his sword from it. Zorro made the sign of the cross saying, “Vaya con dios.” * * * Hawk and Twilight stepped out onto the street, Hawk with his revolver drawn and Twilight preparing her magic. The bandits in the upper floor of the saloon began to open fire on them, but Twilight had something ready for them. A magic shield formed a dome around her and Hawk, causing the bullets that hit it to bounce off harmlessly. The two bandits on street level peeked from their cover and took shots at her and Hawk, much to the same effect. Before they ducked back into cover however, two loud shots from the hill dropped both of them. Twilight grimaced. She still wasn’t used to seeing such wanton death. “Twilight, where is Cottonmouth?” asked Hawk as he eyed at the windows of the saloon. Twilight looked to the mayor’s mansion, “He was in there when I teleported out.” Hawk began running to the doors of the mansion, revolver ready, and Twilight charged alongside him. “When I get my hooves on that man I’m going to...” ‘Do what? Kill him?’ They arrived at the doors of the mansion as the shield spell began to fade away. Hawk kicked in the doors. On the other side were two bandits and a gray pony who held a knife in his mouth. The bandits opened fire with sub-machine guns, sending a deadly spray of bullets at Hawk and Twilight. Both unicorn and man ducked out of the doorway and took cover. “I think I can blind them with a spell!” Twilight shouted over the noise. Hawk remained silent, listening. After a few moments, the noise stopped and was replaced with tiny clicks. Hawk reentered the doorway and shot both men in the head, sending the contents of their skulls all over the place. Anaconda charged with the knife in his mouth, but Hawk quickly took it from him, spun it around, and stabbed the dark pony in his neck. “If you wanted to be a killer,” Hawk said into his ear, “You should have stayed a human.” Hawk kicked Anaconda’s body across the floor where he landed in a bloody heap. Twilight finally entered, surveying the carnage Hawk had left. More gunshots echoed from outside, but the mansion was far too quiet. Twilight pointed to the door that led to Cottonmouth’s den with her hoof, “That way.” Hawk stepped in first, this time with a degree of caution. It was dark inside, and there were no signs of life. Only the two red and yellow stains on the carpet were clearly visible, illuminated by a thin ray of light entering through the heavy curtains. Twilight gagged upon seeing them again as Hawk began looking for a light switch. Another bandit came at Hawk from the side with a knife drawn, stabbing Hawk in the side forcing him to drop his revolver. Hawk let go a cry of pain as he grabbed his attacker and threw him into the window, ripping the old curtains and filling the room with daylight. The bandit bounced back slashing at Hawk’s face, but he swung to wide and Hawk gave him a head butt to the face. With no hesitation, Hawk placed his thumbs into the attacker’s eyes and began to squeeze. Twilight cast a bolt of force into the attacker’s hand and sent the knife flying to the far side of the room thinking that would be enough to stop the fight, but Hawk continued. She looked on in horror as blood leaked from where the bandit’s eyes used to be. “Hawk!” screamed Twilight. She didn’t want to see Hawk be this savage. She didn’t want him to be like them. “HAWK!” Hawk blinked, and registered what he was doing. He placed his hands on the bandit’s chin and the back of his head, giving a sharp twist. The resulting snap of the bandit’s neck and thud of his body hitting the ground made the pit in Twilight’s stomach grow deeper. She would never get used to this, and by Celestia she hoped she never would. Hawk put his hand on his side. It was still bleeding profusely. He recovered his revolver and made his way towards Cottonmouth’s chair. His hands were covered with blood and he began coughing. His stride was becoming weaker. For the first time since this entire thing began, Twilight believed Hawk would die. She hardened her face, ‘Not while I’m here.’ Twilight ran to his side and inspected the wound, “Don’t move, this looks really bad, I’m going to have to fix it up.” Hawk grunted his disapproval, but Twilight would have none of it, “It won’t take long, my friend Rarity taught me how heal wounds with magic, and while I might not be able to sew wounds together like she can, I can at least stop you from dying.” Either because of blood loss or acceptance, Hawk sat in Cottonmouth’s chair and let Twilight work. Her horn glowed violet, and a thousand tiny pinpricks of light shot out onto the gaping wound. The lights left tiny threads behind them, and as they passed over Hawk’s wound, they started pulling it closed. After a few moments of this, several of them landed over the currently sealed wound and made threads that resembled stitches in a doll. “There,” said Twilight, “It will still hurt. But it won’t bleed.” “Good enough,” replied Hawk, standing up with a loud groan. “You weren’t kidding about the whole hurting thing.” Twilight remained serious, “No time for complaining Hawk. We need to stop Cottonmouth before he gets away with that corrupted ponification potion.” Hawk gave a nod, “Now if I was a dirty, rotten, snake, I would be…” “Let me handle this,” interrupted Twilight. She had just the spell for this. Twilight’s horn glowed as she cast a locate spell, something Spike had told her a thousand times that she needed. Twilight knew it wouldn’t work on living creatures, as it was usually reserved for books or keys and other inanimate objects, but she was looking for the Cottonmouth’s revolver. There was no doubt that he would hold onto that thing like it was gold. The spell went off and Twilight’s irises began to shimmer. She closed her eyes and saw the world much differently than before. It was black and the objects around her, like the floor and walls and Hawk, were nothing but outlines drawn with thin, glowing, white lines. She looked around this new world, and seeing nothing to the left or right or above, she looked down. Below her, in what could only be a basement, a marvelous rainbow of colors shined in the shape of a gun. It was moving quickly into a tunnel. Twilight concentrated, trying to see what the gun saw, and was rewarded with a vision of the entire escape tunnel. “Hawk,” Twilight said finally, “He’s moving through an escape tunnel, and it will lead him down to the other end of the main street.” She looked up at him with a wide smile, “We can catch him.” Hawk returned her smile with one of his own. “Then we had better not keep his judgment waiting.” The two moved out the door as fast as Hawk could manage and proceeded down the street. As they passed by an old church, the doors swung open and Zorro walked out, a bit surprised to see them. Zorro gave them a grin and looked them over. “Still standing amigo?” said Zorro, eyeing Hawk’s side. “Barely,” replied Hawk, “How’d things go on your end?” Zorro looked back into the church, Twilight noticed a body slumped over inside, “About as well as you could expect.” Zorro turned his gaze to Twilight, “And you niña, are you all right?” Twilight had to think about it. She was physically fine, but some of the images from the last few days were all blurred together, and a lot of them she would rather forget. Eventually she settled on an answer, “About as fine as one can be after traveling with you two.” Zorro let out a laugh, but Hawk’s face remained neutral as he stated, “Come on you two. This isn’t over yet.” Hawk began to walk down the street, the sun’s light illuminating his face. Twilight and Zorro both grew serious, and walked on either side of Hawk. The swordsman on his left, and the unicorn on his right. Together, they walked down the street, side by side, approaching an old withered tree. A large rock that was laying among the tree’s roots moved, revealing a hole. From the hole crawled Cottonmouth, who carried on his back a metal thermos. “Cottonmouth,” called Hawk, “stand and face justice.” Cottonmouth spun on his heels, and glared at Hawk, his eyes burning with hate. He hovered his hand over his revolver, “Why Hawk, you just won’t stay dead. Apparently I should have aimed for the head.” “There are a lot of things people should do Cottonmouth,” Hawk replied, his hand hovering over his own gun, “You should start praying.” Twilight was getting ready to blast Cottonmouth with a bolt of energy before Hawk spoke again, “Twilight. Zorro. Step away.” Twilight was about to protest, but Zorro gave her a look that seemed to say it had to be this way, like it was some ancient rite. She hesitated, but complied with the request. The two gunslingers spent a long time staring at each other. The sun beat down, the wind blew, and they waited. They waited for something that Twilight could not detect, like some kind of sign that she just didn’t see. It was unbearable, like the world was just holding its breath. She looked at Hawk, the human who she now saw as one of her dearest friends, standing bloody and barely breathing, about to face off against a human she had come to associate with all that was wrong in the world. The cruelty and malice that Twilight had seen in Nightmare Moon seemed so petty now compared to what Cottonmouth did, as if the Mare of Darkness was just throwing a temper tantrum. Now all Twilight could think of was going home, and getting away from all this death. The wind stopped and it was over in an instant. The unicorn jumped in surprise as dirt from the bullet’s impact splashed next to her. Hawk had shot first and struck Cottonmouth in the arm, sending the bandit to the ground and his shot an bit down from its intended target. Cottonmouth grunted in pain and rolled on the ground, reaching for his gun. Hawk placed his boot on top of the hand, making sure the bandit wouldn’t reach his weapon. This act gained him a scornful glare from Cottonmouth’s hate filled eyes. Hawk pointed his gun at the downed man’s head. “You wanna kill me law-man?!” Cottonmouth shouted, “Go ahead! I know how much you like killing! I know that you’re a murdering son of bitch, just like me! I know who are behind that damn name of yours! You have no place in the new society those freaks are building for themselves!” Cottonmouth began to wheeze as Hawk pulled back the hammer on his revolver, “You…you won’t have a purpose in this world after they’re done with it…won’t be no one left…to kill...” Cottonmouth began hacking and coughing as blood entered the back of his throat. “That’s where you’re wrong Cottonmouth,” Hawk said, his voice cold and sharp, “As long as there’s scum like you, my place will be putting a gun to their head and pulling the trigger.” Cottonmouth spat at Hawk. Hawk pulled down the trigger. Twilight winced. Bang. Cottonmouth didn’t move anymore, and Hawk holstered his revolver. He turned around and looked at Twilight and Zorro. “I think it’s time we got to Yellowstone. We are really late.” With that, Hawk collapsed onto the ground. * * * Twilight sat next to the coffin that held Hawk’s body as the wagon moved ahead in its steady pace. The coffin’s lid was closed so the sun wouldn’t hit him. Their entire group sat in silence, either not wanting to speak, or just being to tired to be able to talk. Twilight surveyed her traveling companions, looking at each one for a long time. Zorro was driving the wagon, which was being pulled by Buttercup, the stallion that looked strong enough to move a mountain. T.J. was walking next to the massive stallion, making sure to stay close. Megan was leaning against the back of the driver’s chair. She was dirty, wounded, and looked exhausted, a feeling that Twilight shared all too much. Tall Leaf was on the left of Hawk’s coffin, resting his head on it, and had Morning Dew wrapped in his hooves. Morning Dew had gotten over the red specks that now dotted her all over, and began singing “Day by Day,” the song she’d only heard once, yet committed to memory. She sang so softly and beautifully that it was like a lullaby, and Twilight wanted nothing more than to rest, but couldn’t bring herself to. The two fillies lay curled against their mother. Megan said that when they saw their parents running from the jail, she had to restrain them they were so excited. Merry Gold was fast asleep, but Busy Bee wasn’t taking her eyes off of Hawk’s coffin. “Miss Twilight?” asked Busy Bee, eyes not leaving the large box. Twilight responded as calmly as she could, “Yes?” “Is Hawk going to be okay?” her tone was quivering slightly. Twilight hesitated and looked at the coffin, “Yes Busy Bee. He’s just…sleeping.” Busy Bee stood up and Morning Dew stopped singing. “May-Maybe we can wake him up with a kiss. Just like in those old mare’s tales.” The filly pushed open the lid of the coffin, and before anyone could protest, gave Hawk a kiss on his lips. Twilight swore her heart stopped, and it took a few more seconds of watching her daughter kissing Hawk before Morning Dew screamed, “Busy Bee! Get away from him!” “But Mom! Hawk has to get up!” Busy Bee cried back. A groan came from the coffin. “Well, service has certainly improved since the last time I rode in this thing,” came Hawk’s groggy voice. “And, do I taste…honey on my lips?” Busy Bee’s face blushed immensely, and proceeded to have a giggle fit. Morning Dew was feeling rather embarrassed at her daughter’s behavior, where as Tall Leaf was mortified. “I’m so sorry for my daughter Mr. Hawk,” said Morning Dew, “She was just very worried and…well she’s very affectionate.” “No need to apologize ma’am. Usually it’s Zorro getting kissed by lovely young girls. I’ll take whatever I can get.” Hawk gave as big a smile as he could. Megan just shook her head, failing to repress a smile of her own. Zorro couldn’t stop laughing. “Hey Sprinkles,” called Hawk. Twilight looked over the edge of the coffin at Hawk, his hat was covering all but his lips. “Yes Casanova?” she said in a bemused way. Hawk’s face grew serious under the brim of his hat, and he shifted his weight around anxiously, “This may seem like a wired request, but… I was wondering if you could do something for me.” Hawk moved his hat and looked at Twilight, scanning her features. Twilight’s cheeks began to blush. ‘Oh my. Does he want me to kiss him? I mean I wouldn’t mind if he asked me to. I mean I like him, but not like that. Or do I? Oh my, oh my, oh my...’ Twilight calmed her mind and cleared her throat, “S-sure Hawk! Ask anything.” Hawk took a big gulp, “Who’s Big Mac, and what did you mean by you want him to ‘buck your apples?’” Hawk’s grin widened and Twilight’s face turned deep red. In a surprise that caught everyone off guard, Twilight didn’t close the coffin lid on Hawk’s face, but instead began, “W-well, Big Mac is the brother of one of my best friends, Applejack. As his name implies, he’s big and, well, he’s also red. He works on his family’s apple farm. As for that second part…” Twilight lowered her head next to Hawk’s ear, and whispered something to him. Morning Dew put her hooves over Busy Bee’s ears. After Twilight was done, she moved her head back and smiled at Hawk. “Satisfied?” she asked. Hawk sat up, and looked at Twilight, “Yes, and by the way you describe it, Big Mac will be too.” Twilight blushed again, but nodded in acceptance of Hawk’s comment. “Good,” she said, “I’m glad I was able to answer your question.” Zorro finally interjected, “All right all right, this isn’t the Love Boat. We’ll reach Yellowstone in an hour, so make sure everyone has everything.” “Finally,” said Tall Leaf, letting out a long kept huff. Busy Bee was already asking Hawk what Twilight whispered to him and if he’d like another kiss. Tall Leaf just shook his head and wished to get to Yellowstone as soon as possible. * * * The cabin was rather nice. It was large for a family of ponies, had a fantastic view of the mountain range, the trees around it were filled with birds that sang lovely songs, and there was a stream just down the hill. The inside was sparsely decorated, but that just meant that the family had more places to put old mementos and future memories. There were only two bedrooms with human sized beds, which was frankly more than necessary, and the living room came equipped with a couch, T.V., and DVD player. The fillies were the first to explore the place, as they rushed in like a spring wind as soon as the door opened. The Garden family fell in love with it instantly, and invited the humans to spend the night as their guests, in an impromptu house warming party. Naturally, being tired, bloody, and yearning for showers, they accepted. After everyone and everypony was bathed, refreshed, and free of the grime of the past two days, Hawk made a phone call. “Hello, this is Agent Hawk. Is Joseph there?” the reply was mumbled, “Okay I’ll hold.” Hawk looked at the group he had traveled with over the past week while he waited. They were assembling on or around the couch, for tonight they were going to finish the original trilogy of Star Wars. All the ponies were extremely excited. Hawk saw Twilight pull out a note pad and quill from her saddle bags. “This is the President. Hawk? Is that really you?” the phone said. “Who else calls themselves ‘Hawk’ Joey? Anyway, I’ve arrived at Yellowstone, and the ponies are safe.” “You know you’re about five days behind schedule right?” Hawk let out a sigh, “We got delayed by a tornado, wild dogs, and get this: Cottonmouth’s gang of vipers.” The man on the other side of the phone spat out whatever he was drinking, “WHAT? How are you still alive?!” “I’m charmed remember? But anyway, if you could send a transport or something to this location tomorrow, that would be swell.” The phone sighed, “Yeah yeah yeah. Oh, before I forget, you didn’t cuss in front of them did you?” “No sir.” “Good.” “And sir? Make sure that transport can hold two full grown horses please.” Another sigh came from the phone, “Why?” Hawk gave a smug reply, “Doing a favor for a friend. Thanks Joe, have a good night.” Hawk hung up the phone and took a seat on the couch next to Megan and Morning Dew, who was lying on Tall Leaf. Twilight was on the carpet, and was ready with her quill and paper, to take notes for her paper on human-equestrian similarities. Zorro had claimed the recliner in the room, and was not moving for anyone. As soon as Hawk got comfortable, the two fillies just ran in from their bedroom and lept onto the couch. Busy Bee was getting as close to him as possible, while Merry Gold decided to curl up next to Megan. Hawk picked up the remote and pushed “Play.” To be wrapped up in the Epilogue! Holy hell! Could I cram more one liners in there? Signs point to yes. But it’s almost over, and soon I’ll be free to do other stuff! Epilogue soon fellow Bronies! * * * Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (Time to wrap this up, the end is near!) Yellowstone Epilogue No Place like Home The morning came, and Twilight had to wrestle herself from her bed. She had opted to sleep in the master bedroom with the rest of the Garden family, and the warmth she felt from the others was hard to break away from. She raised her head and looked over her bedmates. Tall Leaf and Morning Dew were as always inseparable, and Merry Gold was nestled among their legs. The only one missing was Busy Bee, but Twilight didn’t have to think too hard about where she might be. Hopping off the bed, eyes still mostly shut, Twilight moved into the room next door where the humans slept. Megan and Hawk had taken the beds for themselves, leaving Zorro the couch. The decision making process went along the lines of that they were wounded and Zorro didn’t have a scratch on him, so he got the couch. And there, curled up in the crook of Hawk’s arm, was Busy Bee, snoozing peacefully. Twilight couldn’t help but let go an “Awww…” Twilight suddenly smelled something sweet from the kitchen. It smelled like breakfast. Still half dazed, Twilight sauntered into the kitchen to find Zorro in his loose black shirt preparing some pancakes. Zorro noticed her and gave a smile with a tired grunt. Twilight gave a grunt back and took a seat at the large wooden table feeling much better than she thought she should. It was surreal to her, that yesterday she had seen such awful killing and death, but today the world seemed just fine and dandy. Almost like it never even happened, but Twilight knew better. She still saw the chicks under Anaconda’s hoof, and heard the crunch as the hoof came down. “Do you like blueberries in your pancakes niña?” Zorro finally broke the silence. Twilight gave a small, pleasant, moan, “They’re my favorite.” She rested her head on the table, considering going back to sleep. Before she could, a plate holding a stack of the best looking pancakes she’d ever seen lay in front of her. The succulent smell filling her nostrils, Twilight’s mouth watered immediately as she counted the blue specs that dotted the delicious pastries. Zorro also slid a small bowl of apple juice across the table to her, “And here is something to wash it down with.” He gave her a smirk and resumed filling out more plates, humming a tune Twilight thought was rather catchy. Twilight hovered utensils over to her and began to dig in, savoring each bite. After gulping down the first fork full, she let out a ‘Yum’ sound. “These are the best pancakes I’ve ever had,” she said definitively. Megan entered, fully dressed, but still tying her pony-tail off with her red bow, “They should be. It’s his mother’s recipe, and that lady knew her pancakes.” Megan walked to the fridge and poured herself a glass of apple juice and took a plate Zorro had put to the side of the others. Afterward she sat down and began eating. After Twilight finished, she walked to the sink and began using her magic to wash them, humming a similar tune to Zorro’s. A question popped into Twilight’s head all of the sudden, and before she knew it, she was already asking it. “Megan, are you and Zorro…together?” Megan’s response was lightning fast, “No.” Her tone gave Twilight a hint to not proceed down this line of questioning. Zorro just laughed a bit, “Why do you ask little one? Seeing if I’m free for your own romantic pursuits?” Twilight blushed, “Oh no! Nothing like that, I was just curious, and…and-” Twilight stumbled looking for some way to get off this subject, and was relieved to see Morning Dew, Tall Leaf, and Merry Gold enter the kitchen. “OH LOOK! It’s the Garden family! Hello Garden Family! Zorro made pancakes!” Merry Gold’s face lit up from its drowsy state, “I love pancakes!” She galloped over to the chair and hopped onto it, and nearly squealed when Zorro placed a stack of warm pancakes in front of her. Tall Leaf looked around, and under the table, “Has anypony seen Busy Bee?” Megan raised her hand and then pointed to her and Hawk’s room. “Last I saw she was sleeping soundly next to Hawk. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” Tall Leaf exchanged glances with his wife, before letting out a sigh. “I think Bee is going to have a tough time saying goodbye darlin’.” Morning Dew gave a sullen nod and took another bite of the pancakes. Tall Leaf walked off to the human’s room and returned a minute or so later, a very sleepy filly on his back. A few more minutes passed in silence as the Garden family ate their breakfast, and each one giving satisfied moans after they finished. Hawk stood at the door, fully dressed and holding his black duffel bag. “Zorro, Megan, Twilight, pick up is in an hour. Let’s get ready.” Hawk took a glass of juice and downed it with one gulp. Zorro and Megan disappeared in to their respective sleeping quarters and began packing. Hawk went outside and began to load the wagon, with some help from Twilight’s magic. Outside, most the Garden family had gathered to say their farewells. Busy Bee however, was missing from the scene, but faint sobs could be heard from the filly’s bedroom. Merry Gold and Morning Dew both gave Twilight a hug and told her to stay safe. Morning Dew presented Twilight with a small circlet made of flowers and the unicorn placed it on her head with pride. As for Hawk, Morning Dew and Tall Leaf gave their unending gratitude for protecting them and their family. Zorro and Megan exited the cabin and were treated in much the same way. Merry Gold gave Megan a flower circlet, and the human placed it upon her head with glee. After the wagon was loaded up, and Buttercup fastened to the front, a small hiccup drew everyone’s attention to the front door. Busy Bee had obviously been crying inside, and she ran to Hawk, nuzzling his legs. “Do you have to go Mr. Hawk?” Busy Bee leaned against his legs, looking him in the eyes. Her own were big and watery, making it difficult to not bend down and give her a big hug. Hawk, against his better judgment, did it anyway saying “Yes Busy Bee, I do. Twilight needs to go back to New York, and I still have a job to do,” as he squeezed her close to his heart. “But what if we get in trouble? Or what if…” she buried her head against his chest, “…what if I miss you?” Busy Bee looked like she was about to start crying all over again. Hawk put her down in front of him and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. “The Six Tribes’ rangers will keep you safe from now on. And if you miss me…” Hawk reached into a pocket of his coat and extracted a silver disk. It had the image of a hawk on it and what seemed to be a dent from a bullet, “…just hold this close.” Busy Bee marveled at it and gingerly took it out of Hawk’s hand. She gazed up at him holding back tears and nodded. Twilight and Megan’s eyes grew watery, but they held their silence. After all was said and done, the Garden family stood in front of their new home, rays of light streaming in through the trees giving a majestic ambiance beneath the canopy. Twilight swore that, as Hawk had walked to join her and the other humans, she saw a tear roll down his face. She didn’t say anything though, as she thought it was sweet. “Stay safe now!” cried Morning Dew, “And come back any time!” “Yeah! Come back anytime!” added Merry Gold, jumping gleefully. Tall Leaf and Busy Bee just smiled and waved, which Twilight, Hawk, Zorro, and Megan all returned with waves and smiles of their own while they rode away down the forest path. T.J. walked alongside Buttercup at a leisurely pace. They rode a long time in silence, until they came to an open clearing. Once there, Twilight heard what sounded like a thumping noise. Eventually a large, dark, tube looking thing descended over the canopy, landing a short distance away. It was much larger than what Twilight had expected, and looked like it could hold two cars instead of two horses. After it landed, and the wind softened enough for the group to approach, a ramp lowered from the back. From it walked a human woman in a jumpsuit and a pilot’s helmet. “Captain Samantha Barnes reporting for pick-up duty Agent Hawk. Welcome aboard.” “Thank you captain,” said Hawk dismounting the wagon and unfastening Buttercup. Cpt. Barnes helped the group load their bags and horses onto the transport helicopter with such efficiency and speed, that Twilight began to consider if Captain Barnes might want a job as a library assistant. Twilight shook the thought from her head, remembering how Spike reacted the last time she hired new help. After everything was loaded and locked down, the humans all sat on benches that lined the walls of the vehicle, and Twilight lied down next to them. She was tired, and thought of her friends back at the bureau, and all the things she wanted to tell them about. The beats of the helicopter blades where hypnotic; Twilight fell asleep within minutes of takeoff. She dreamt of her library in Ponyville and of how much she missed her friends, eventually drifting to Sweet Apple Acres where a big red stallion was bucking trees, waiting for her. In the chopper, Hawk looked at his companions as Twilight started moaning in her sleep. Hawk put his coat over Twilight like a blanket, saying, “This is getting awkward.” * * * “…And that’s what it’s like ta’ live in Equestria! Any questions?” Applejack had just finished her fourth orientation speech this week, and she was hoping none of the humans would take her up on her request. It was fun the first time, but they always asked the same questions. “Do we get to choose what kind of pony we become?” No, it’s random. “Will we already have cutie marks?” Yes, unless you’re young, then you’ll have to work for it. “How do you do stuff without hands?” Magic, mostly. “Do you know you’re name is a drink?” Yes. After about five more minutes of the same questions Applejack had heard before, the orientation ended and the auditorium emptied. She let out a groan as she walked back to her temporary office. It used to be Twilight’s, but she had left Applejack in charge while she was away. On the way there, Applejack heard a loud thrumming noise from somewhere outside, but she was too tired to really care. Applejack opened to door to ‘her’ office and beheld the room. It was not the same, immaculately sorted room she had stepped into on the day Twilight had departed. Stacks of unsorted papers and documents lay strewn all over the place, and the waste bin was overflowing with balled up pieces of paper and old candy wrappers. On the desk was a computer that lay dormant. Applejack let out a sigh as she walked behind the desk and gazed at the blank screen of the monitor. Two days ago, Applejack had walked in on Rainbow Dash doing something on it, and the next thing the farmer pony knew, Dash had sent a hoof into the power switch with such force that it broke the darn thing. Dash had flown out the window before Applejack could make heads or tails of what just happened, leaving the confused earth pony with a broken computer. When confronted about it later, the Pegasus only said, “I wasn’t doing anything bad on it! You just surprised me!” while her blue face turned a deep red. Applejack knew when a pony was covering something up, but even a pony without the Element of Honesty could tell what Rainbow Dash was doing was something most considered naughty. So Applejack, who was just beginning to get the hang of using the keyboard and mouse, now had to sort almost a hundred or more documents by hoof. She let out another big sigh through her nose. “I really wish Twilight would come back already.” As if she was waiting for that exact phrase, Pinkie Pie bounded into the room, her face beaming brighter than her usual smile. “OHMYGOSH APPLEJACK! Guess What?!” Applejack grew hopeful that Twilight had finally come back, “What is it sugar-cube? Is Twilight back?” Her voice was expectant, and quite honestly, had a pleading tone to it. Pinkie Pie rapidly shook her head from side to side, “No silly filly! More humans are here! And they must have made the BEST ENTRANCE EVER!” Applejack let her head sink back onto the desk. “Oh,” she said disheartened. “Yeah!” continued Pinkie, “They just came outta the sky with a big helicopter and landed out in the parking lot! Oh it was so loud, and I could hear beats on the wind and I felt like I could make a song about it, so I did! Here let me-” Applejack raised her eyebrow, “A heli-what now?” Pinkie moved her face in close to Applejack’s, “It’s a human flying machine! Like that thinga-ma-jig I built that one time to follow Rainbow Dash that one time that meanie-pants Gilda was in town!” The pink pony stuck out her arms and began to spin, “WOO! WOO! WOO!” After a few seconds she fell to the floor, dizzy and laughing. Applejack rolled her eyes and got moving to the door. Anything was better than just sitting her looking at the dead monitor. The two ponies walked calmly to the bureau’s lobby, passing by the dormitories where human heads were poking out of their rooms looking confused. Once there, they saw a tall man in a long leather coat and wide brim hat standing at the reception desk talking to the wall-eyed pony known as Ditzy Doo. The other humans in the lobby were giving him odd looks, and generally avoiding him. One of Ditzy’s eyes landed on Applejack, and the winged mare gave a relieved expression. “There she is sir! The current head muffin in the oven!” said Ditzy smiling wide. The human cocked an eyebrow at Ditzy, and then turned to Applejack, taking note of her hat. “Applejack, right?” Applejack nodded, looking out the front windows at the helicopter with earnest confusion. “Yes I am, but what’s with all this racket?” “My name is Agent Hawk. Come with me.” With that he moved to the door and held it open for Applejack and Pinkie, who bounced merrily up to the human. “What’s that thing?” asked Pinkie, looking at Hawk’s revolver. “A noise maker,” he said bluntly. “Oooooh…I love noise makers!” marveled the pink earth pony. Applejack pushed Pinkie out the door, “Come on sugar cube. Let’s see what this is all about.” As soon as Applejack and Pinkie went outside, they saw a small violet, and slightly flustered, unicorn descending the loading ramp. Before Twilight knew they were even there, she was dog piled by Applejack and Pinkie Pie resulting in a big group hug. * * * Once inside and resituated in her room, Twilight flopped on her bed. All she needed to do now was to wait for Pinkie’s inevitable party to start, and she could begin to wrap up her day. Considering the state of her office however, she was not in any particular rush to get back to the normal tedium of life in the bureau. She had only glanced over the room for a second or two before deeming it ‘not worth it.’ The door to her room swung open and a small purple dragon rushed up to her, leapt onto the bed, and landed a great big hug around her neck. “Twilight!” Spike yelled, not withholding any enthusiasm. “Spike!” Twilight was thrilled to see her assistant, and she squeezed him close to her. It had been too long since they had seen each other face to face. Or it felt that way at least. “Oh gosh I’ve missed you! It’s been soooo boring around here without you around. I nearly went insane without you telling me to pick stuff up!” He looked up and stared at Twilight with a serious face, “And before you ask, I had nothing to do with what happened to your computer.” Twilight’s smile changed to one of concern, “What happened to my computer?” Before Spike could answer, he belched out a cloud of fire and smoke. The cloud twisted and spun itself into the form of a scroll, which plopped down onto the bed. Twilight wasted no time in unfurling the scroll and reading aloud the immaculate writing of the Princess. “My dear Twilight Sparkle, It fills me with great joy to hear that you have returned from human lands safely. I was worried beyond measure when the human President told me that your train never arrived at its destination. He reassured me to remain calm however, as he was certain his guardian would never fail in completing a task. But that is neither here nor there, and we can discuss your adventure when I come by to visit this evening. Expect me around four o’clock. Your loving mentor, and friend, Celestia P.S. Did you see my debate with the HLF? How do you think I did? I’m pleased to say things went well with them, and their leadership tells me that they have lost much of the animosity they once felt towards us, and that they hope to live in harmony with us from now on. See you soon.” Twilight looked at the clock on her wall. It read “3:54.” Twilight bounded out of her bed dropping Spike on his rump, she grabbed a comb with her magic and began brushing her mane and tail with such haste, Rainbow Dash’s head would spin. “Spike, go tell everypony that the Princess is on her way here! And go now!” The baby dragon dashed out of the room and Twilight could hear Rarity gasp as she heard the news, followed by a series of crashes and a “What am I going to wear on such short notice?!” from down the hall. Within minutes, Twilight and Rarity were standing in the front lobby, both looking nervous. Twilight because her idol and surrogate mother would arrive at any moment, and Rarity because she was couldn’t remember if she had all the accoutrements to her most recent gown. The lobby was filled with ponies and humans who wanted to meet the mythical princess in the flesh. Megan and Applejack sat in a corner exchanging stories with each other. Twilight looked at them side by side and thought she saw a resemblance between the two, but her thoughts were interrupted by the blaring of trumpets. Outside landed four white Pegasus guard ponies in golden armor, and after rushing to the entrance and opening the door, four more royal guards flew to the ground, pulling a magnificent chariot behind them. In it sat a divine figure that seemed to glow with all the warmth of spring and summer. Princess Celestia stepped down from the chariot and entered the main lobby of the Bureau. All the ponies present bowed and the humans cheered. Twilight stepped forward into view of her mentor. They both smiled widely as Celestia leaned over to nuzzle the side of Twilight’s head, causing the young mare to giggle. “It’s so good to see you again Princess,” said Twilight, basking in the presence of her teacher. Celestia looked around the room smiling, and then back to Twilight, “And it is good to see you, my most treasured pupil. I have been looking forward to seeing you again actually. My week has been just awful not knowing if you were safe or not.” Twilight just kept up that dumb smile, “Oh don’t worry Princess, the human agents were more than capable of keeping us safe.” Celestia beamed at the news, “Well if it’s all right, I’d like to meet them and give them my thanks in person.” “Right this way!” Twilight was more than happy to let Celestia meet her new friends. She just hoped she didn’t have to get into the messy details of the journey. Twilight led the group of ponies and humans to the auditorium where Pinkie had set up a wonderful looking party. Rainbow Dash was boasting at Hawk, while Zorro was stabbing apples out of the air with his sword, much to the amusement of Pinkie. “And then there was the time I won the best young flyer’s competition by doing a sonic rainboom.” Dash was floating next to Hawk looking very proud of herself. Hawk was sitting with a thousand yard stare nodding his head, saying “That’s nice.” When Celestia and Twilight entered, the two agents stopped what they were doing and moved to approach the goddess, while the ponies they were talking to trotted close behind them. Celestia regarded Hawk and Zorro, and gave a small bow of her head, “Thank you for keeping Twilight safe. She means a great deal to me.” Twilight almost fainted when she heard her idol say such kind words, but maintained her composure. Hawk gave a respectful bow of his own, “No problem your highness. Twilight is a capable young mare, and we wouldn’t have completed out journey without her.” “I didn’t do that much,” Twilight chimed in, blushing under Hawk’s praise. Celestia smiled at her student’s modesty, continuing, “And what are your names, so that I may remember you for your service?” Zorro removed his hat and made a sweeping bow, “Don Zorro De la Vega, but most just call me Zorro, your majesty.” Hawk glanced at Zorro and shook his head. “I am Agent Hawk, at your service. And over there…” Hawk pointed to Megan, “…is Megan, who must be the best sniper this side of the prime meridian. I don’t think she’s ever told me her last name though.” Megan walked out of the crowd rolling her eyes in great arcs, and formally greeted the Princess. “Hello your highness.” “You know,” said Zorro, “She never told me her last name either.” Both Hawk and Zorro shrugged, earning a few chortles from the crowd. Celestia let a grin cross her face, “Well then, Hawk, Zorro, and Megan, I thank you from the bottom of my being. Now,” she said looking around the crowd, “how about we get this party started, hmm?” This elicited a great cheer as the crowd surged into the auditorium. Celestia looked at Twilight who seemed to be in a blissful haze, “Well then Twilight. Let’s catch up with your new friends, and maybe you can tell me what you’ve learned while in human lands.” Twilight snapped out of her happy coma and replied, “Oh! Yes of course!” The group found a cozy spot to sit and chat. For the rest of the night Twilight told Celestia and her friends about her to entire trip to Yellowstone and back, Hawk filling in any blanks that she left unfilled. Twilight left out the part with the chicks, for Fluttershy’s sake, and Hawk left out the parts that involved Big Mac for Twilight’s. * * * After the party, and subsequent cleanup, Twilight found herself going through her saddlebags, putting things she had taken with her back into their proper place. Then she came to two books she had not originally brought with her. One was a thick tome about knights, the other a pink diary. Regarding both fondly, she placed them both onto her bookshelf. “Twilight,” came her teacher’s voice, “I’m about to go.” Celestia peeked her head into Twilight’s room, a habit she had developed while Twilight lived with her in the castle. After a brief moment of reminiscing, Twilight said, “Thank you so much for coming, it felt really good catching up with you.” With that, Twilight gave the Princess another hug and began to escort her to the front entrance. “You’ve had quite a week my student,” Celestia said after a while, “what do you think of the human’s now that you have been among them in their world?” Twilight reflected on what she had seen, finally coming up with an answer she thought would suffice. “Humans are harsh creatures, but they have to be because their world is harsh and dangerous. Sometimes in their pursuit to survive, they cross each other, and most times they make friends and can work together, but other times it doesn’t work out and they feel that they have to fight. They are mostly good, I think, but sometimes they just plain old turn bad, like Cottonmouth, and live to cause other humans misery.” Twilight paused, looking to see if the Princess was satisfied. Celestia nodded, and gave Twilight a smile, “I think that is a good analysis Twilight, if a bit brief. But I am glad you have learned something about this new world.” They entered the lobby, and the dying rays of sunset streamed in through the doors. Hawk was saluting Captain Barnes. The woman walked outside to her awaiting transport, and shortly thereafter took off and flew away. The pegasi had to move inside not to be blown off their hooves. “Well I guess it’s my turn,” said Celestia, summoning her guards to her, “Stay well Twilight Sparkle.” She leaned over and gave Twilight a kiss on the forehead. The room exploded with ‘Aaaaaaw’s. Celestia and Twilight didn’t mind though, as they thought it was cute as well. With that, Celestia departed the lobby and mounted her carriage and with a few last looks at her student, took off. Hawk and Zorro were assembling their bags while Megan stood next to Applejack, helping where she could. Megan was going to stay a while, as it turned out. Apparently T.J. was pregnant with Buttercup’s foal and was due in a month or two. Fluttershy was extremely excited about the news, and had already begun assembling an acceptable place for the new foal. Megan would become Fluttershy’s helper in the meantime, and help out Applejack with any of her tasks. Zorro finally zipped up the last few bags and placed them over his shoulders, and began to walk to the exit. Twilight looked at Zorro as he moved past her, carrying Hawk’s duffel bag. “So long niña, I hope that our paths will cross again one day.” “I do too Mr. Zorro. It was an honor having you with us, and I’m glad you came,” replied Twilight. The two exchange bows and Zorro walked out of the door. Hawk stepped forward next, and the two spent a long time looking at each other. Hawk knelt down, putting him on eye level with Twilight. “Well Sprinkles, it seems this is goodbye. At least for now anyway, so you be sure not to get kidnapped by anything. I don’t think I’d survive another rescue mission.” Twilight gave out a laugh, replying, “Yeah well, maybe you should retire and settle down somewhere. Maybe a nice cabin out west,” Twilight doused her next words with as much of a childish and mocking tone she could, “maybe out near Busy Bee~.” Hawk laughed, “That’s a low blow Twilight.” “I owed you for that stunt you pulled on the wagon,” Twilight leaned in and whispered in his ear, “about the whole Big Mac thing.” Applejack perked her ears thinking she heard something. But Megan quickly caught her attention again with a story about her father’s apple orchard. “Fair enough,” Hawk coughed, and reached into his pockets again, “I have a going away present for you.” He presented Twilight with the Star Wars Original Trilogy DVD Box Set. “Every group of friends need these. And you have a lot of friends who haven’t seen this, if I remember right.” Twilight lifted the movies with her magic and placed them next to her on the floor. “Thank you Hawk,” she said blushing at the gift, “and now I think I owe you something for rescuing me.” Before Hawk could ask what it was, or say it wasn’t necessary, Twilight gave him a small, quick, peck on the lips. Looking very bashful, Twilight looked down at her hooves. Hawk just chuckled a bit. Hawk gave Twilight a big, strong, hug and then stood up. “So long Sprinkles. I think it’s about time I hit the dusty trail. See you later.” He turned and walked out the door to where Zorro stood waiting next to two motorcycles he had found. Hawk mounted his, and Zorro followed suit. After a few moments, the two men drove off down the street, and into the sunset. As he left, memories began to resurface. Memories of empty and desolate streets filled only with wild dogs howling in the dead of night, yearning for blood. Memories of screaming winds that could rip the earth asunder with its rage, and a deep, terrible darkness that made Twilight shudder. Memories of cruel men, with sick pleasures and corrupt minds working against all that Twilight held dear. All of these memories floated in and out of her subconscious. It was almost unbearable to think she might have to live with these images in her head for the rest of her life. But fortunately, Hawk had given her a way to distract herself from these images; A way for her to escape her memories. Twilight sighed and looked at Applejack and Megan, who smiled back at her, both of them giggling like fillies on the first day of school. Twilight let her face give a big smile. She picked up the films Hawk had given her and raised them above her head. “Who wants to watch a movie?” * * *The End* * * * * * By: Anonsi (!) Yellowstone After the Credits Scene: Out from the Darkness President Joseph McCullough walked into the conference room of the white house. He had called for an emergency meeting between him, his top agents, and Celestia herself. This was all her fault after all. Agent Dimitri snapped a salute, “Sir!” “At ease Dimitri” said the president, returning the salute. “Who’s here?” Dimitri looked at his watch, “So far? Agents Hawk and Zorro have arrived, albeit two hours behind schedule.” President Joseph nodded his head. “Where’s the horse?” “On her vay sir.” Joseph sighed, “Alright, bring in those two.” Dimitri gave a crisp salute and moved to the double doors, opening them. With a wave, Hawk and Zorro entered the conference room with a swagger. “Yo Joe,” said Hawk, “What’s going on?” President Joseph had long ago learned to ignore Hawk’s informal view of things, and motioned for the two to sit down. Joseph was impressed they stopped the assassination attempt by Cottonmouth before it even started, and destroyed the corrupt potion to boot. They were the top two agents for a reason after all. But Joseph feared their next assignment would not go so well. Joseph picked up a remote from the table. With one button he revealed a large television. With another, he turned it on. On it glowed a satellite map of a storm cell from about a week ago. Hawk and Zorro recognized the coordinates immediately. “Mr. President?” asked Zorro, slightly concerned. “Dimitri. Is the Princess here yet?” asked the president. Dimitri again checked his watch, “Yes sir. She has just arrived.” Without missing a beat, Dimitri opened the double doors again, this time revealing the divine form of Celestia. Her face beamed when she saw Hawk and Zorro, “Well this is a pleasant surprise, meeting again so soon!” Hawk and Zorro waved at her and she moved to an open space at the table and sat down on her haunches. “Now Mr. President,” said Celestia in her calm tone, “Why have you summoned us here?” Joseph turned around, his expression grave. “Magic has been leaking out of Equestria Princess, and it is causing a great many problems.” The Princess gave a stern look, “What do you mean?” The president continued, “This is the tornado that derailed the Magna Rail during Agent Hawk’s recent escort mission. It appeared almost without warning, and was able to travel at remarkable speeds. Speeds fast enough to catch the Magna Rail in full reverse.” Joseph clicked another button, and a new scene appeared on the screen, this time with a wider view. It showed two similar dark clouds, one where the Magna Rail was picked up, and the other near the town of Ten Sleep. “Meanwhile, nearly a thousand miles away, an identical tornado was raging across Wyoming. Look closely at the center of these two storms.” He clicked another button, and magnified the center of both tornadoes. In the center of both of them was half of the Magna Rail. Hawk rubbed his forehead in disbelief, and Zorro looked confused. Celestia was starting to put some pieces together inside of her head, but she didn’t want to admit anything yet. She had to be sure first. “You see Princess,” Joseph went on, “That tornado was a vortex, that transported the team more than one thousand miles away in under one minute. I can assure you, this is not a natural occurring phenomenon of the Midwest. Hawk, Zorro, and your student Twilight Sparkle, all traveled through a worm hole. I believe the source of this event stems from this...” He clicked another slide into existence, this time it was a picture of Equestria, but through a lens filter that showed the magical bubble that surrounded it. There seemed to be a gash in its side, and an alarming amount magic seemed to be flowing out of it. Celestia’s eyes widened. “How did this happen? I didn’t feel the enchantment break! I would have felt a tremor if something this huge had happened to the barrier!” Hawk raised his hand, “Can we go back through old satellite photos and apply the magic filter? Maybe find out when this thing tore open?” Joseph replied, clicking the next slide, “We can, and have.” The date was the same day as the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. Celestia’s expression turned into one of horror as she counted the years. “That’s the day my sister came back from her banishment. The day Twilight used the Elements of Harmony to save her…” Joseph nodded, having been briefed on the whole ordeal with the Mare of Darkness, “It is our belief, Princess, that in the time between Nightmare Moon’s release and subsequent defeat, your protective shield was damaged. The probable cause is that you were not there to rebuff its potency, which is what you do every year on the day of your Summer Sun Celebration, if I am not mistaken. It is because you missed that year that this crack formed.” He paused letting it all sink in for those assembled. “We also believe, that if not for this breach, you ponies would not have needed to leave Equestria. It is probable that this opening flows two ways. The inherent magic of your homeland flows out, while the pollution of our cities flowed in, thus causing you to take action, and leaving us the position we are in today.” Zorro raised his hand, “Other than tornadoes that can cut down on travel time, what possible consequences could come from this?” Joseph took a deep breath, and presented Hawk and Zorro with folders. “In the town of Sleepy Hollow, a scarce one hundred and twenty three miles outside of New York City limits, there are stories of a ‘Headless Horseman’ who rides at night, and is said to kill all he finds on his nightly ride, and take their heads to replace his own.” Hawk looked up, “Sir, with all due respect, that was a myth, and that town doesn’t even exist.” “Three counts of murder say different Agent Hawk.” Joseph clicked a new slide, it showed a small town and surrounding farmland. The magic filter revealed that the place glowed rich with the magical essence of Equestria. “The town of Sleepy Hollow manifested approximately seven days ago, and with it, so did the horseman. The victims include a ponified married couple who thought it was a tourist attraction, and a lost hiker who was looking for a place to sleep. Their heads could not be located.” Celestia looked at the president in disbelief, “Are you saying that the magic that is leaking out of my homeland is summoning monsters from story books?” President Joseph sighed, “Yes, and unfortunately, no.” He clicked to the next slide, “There is evidence to suggest magical infusion of the landscape has been going on for years. Things became more frequent when you ponies arrived on our shores, but at the time we didn’t have the resources to see what was going on.” “Egypt, Giza. There have been numerous reports of chanting coming from underneath the pyramids. All personnel sent to investigate have not returned. Currently the police have sealed off the entrances and exits, but the chanting persists.” The filter revealed more magic surrounding the pyramid. He clicked to another slide, “Athens, Greece. Two weeks ago. The winner of the ‘Miss Athens’ Beauty Pageant started speaking in verse with a voice not her own and predicted every event of your little trip.” He pointed to Hawk, who began to look very closely at the files in his folder. “And this,” Joseph clicked to a new slide showing Yellowstone National Park, the filter revealing that the area was saturated with magic. Hawk grew tense. “This is an area you should be familiar with. The day after you left, Six Tribes officials sent me reports of seeing strange creatures in the forest, darting between trees. An account from a small boy in the area said that they were a tribe of sasquatch. If not for everything else, I would have dismissed it.” “So what do we do?” asked Hawk, sounding concerned. Celestia cleared her throat. “Well first, the hole in the barrier must be sealed, so no more magic will escape from Equestria and conjure anymore of these nightmares.” She gave a small chuckle, and in an apologetic tone said “It seems we were polluting your world as much as you, ours.” The President gave her a forgiving look, “Don’t worry about the past Princess. Just get that breach resealed. That will give us a finite amount of problems to deal with.” Celestia nodded, her eyes thanking the president for his forgiveness. “So where do we come in Joe?” asked Hawk. Zorro finished reading the folder in front of him, “I can guess amigo.” President Joseph put his hands behind his back. “The infusion of magic back into our world has caused curses and creatures from the ancient days of myth and legend to resurface. You two are to spearhead the elimination of all hostile paranormal entities, and protect the innocent. I’m giving you whatever support you need for this. And Princess,” Celestia gave him a determined look, “we will need the aid of magic in the defense of the innocent humans and ponies that exist outside of Equestria.” Celestia stood up, “You have my full cooperation Joseph.” Zorro stood, “And you have my sword!” Hawk followed suit, “And my guns!” Dimitri chimed in, “And my axe!” The members of the board room looked at Dimitri with queer expressions. “Vhat? I specialize in close quarters combat vith axes and shotguns.” Joseph just shook his head, “Then let’s not waste any time. Hawk, Zorro…” he gave Dimitri a look, “…Dimitri. Your first assignment is to deal with the event at Sleepy Hollow. Your helicopter transport leaves in an hour.” All three agents snapped a salute and rushed off down the hallway, Hawk calling dibs on shotgun. Celestia gave a resolute nod to the President and practically galloped out of a nearby window. Joseph sighed and looked out into the night sky. “Things are getting exciting again, aren’t they?” To be continued? Why would I want to do that? Why would I want to write an episodic series of gothic monster fighting adventures Involving a cowboy, Zorro, and a Russian guy who uses axes and shotguns That may have more wackey hijinks with Twilight Sparkle? That just sounds silly. * * * Yellowstone: The Series By: Anonsi(Bringing you more errors than ever before) Episode: 2 Down the Drain ____________________________________________________________________________ For ages, Equestria has existed separate from the rest of the world, protected by a magical barrier that prevented it from being seen, touched, or reached by humans and their machines. But five years ago, the ponies of Equestria landed on the shores of human lands claiming to be there to save the earth and humanity from pollution, hate, and greed. To do this, the top human scientists and pony magicians created a potion to turn humans into ponies in places called, Conversion Bureaus. Within two years of its release, more than half the total human populace on Earth has converted. The balance of the world has been forever altered, as the remaining human nations form new governments for those humans that remain. Twilight Sparkle and her companions have just now returned from doing battle with the Headless Horseman. With the help of the human task force under the command of Agent Hawk, the grisly phantom was able to be destroyed. But not all ponies escaped unscarred, as Pinkie Pie witnessed the deaths of many innocent ponies and humans at the hands of the Horseman, and even now grapples with the awful images trapped in her mind... Having returned to her Conversion Bureau, Twilight was met by not only Princess Celestia herself, but also the human president: Joseph McCullough. Both rulers bore information of the group’s future purpose. After moving to one of the many lounges in the Bureau, the ponies and humans prepare for whatever news the two powerful leaders have to offer… ____________________________________________________________________________ As excited as Twilight was to finally be back in a place not infested with ghostly murderers, as well as to be in the presence of her monarch and mentor, she wanted nothing more than to find a bed and collapse into it. The rather comfy couch on which she, and her five friends, now sat was already lulling the young mare into a sleepy haze. From what she could see with her blurred vision, Hawk and the other humans were all sitting on the couch opposite her friends, with Celestia and the human leader standing between both parties. Twilight noted everyone looked a bit worse for wear. As far as her friends were concerned, Rarity had tree sap all over her rump, Pinkie looked deflated, Applejack was still pulling twigs out of her mane with help from Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy was just looking tired. But thankfully no pony was hurt. At least no pony she knew. Celestia’s melodious voice wasn’t helping Twilight stay awake either. “As you know my dear little ponies,” came her mentor’s soothing and motherly voice, “the human world is a harsh and dangerous place for us Equestrians.” ‘But not for humans,’ Twilight thought, absent mindedly looking at Agent Hawk. ‘They were doing fine before we got here.’ “But now, things have escalated. Magic has leaked out from our homeland and has given birth to abominations against life itself.” Twilight rested her head on the arm rest of the couch, still drearily looking at the human in the long brown leather coat and wide brim hat. ‘Well, except for the whole greed and economic depression and pollution thing. But they certainly weren’t in danger from animals, or ghosts.’ “As such, you all will be helping President Joseph’s team to fend off any threat to the ponies and humans that inhabit these lands until the magical energies that run rampant throughout the world subside.” ‘After all, just look at those hands! They’re like, the best tool in the world!’ Twilight raised her front hooves to her face, ‘Hands certainly would make picking things up easier, especially if I didn’t have my magic.’ “What this means Miss Applejack, is that the human agents will be staying here with you at the Bureau, in an effort to breed trust and a feeling of camaraderie. As of now, you are all in the Elite Equestrian Guard.” Twilight’s half awake gaze once again fell on Hawk, who seemed to be looking at her now, ‘What would a pony with hands even look like? Maybe there’s a spell I could use to…’ “Twilight?” Twilight closed her eyes and tried to imagine what a pony would look like with hands. It was silly enough to elicit a giggle, ‘That looks ridiculous, I might as well just make a spell to turn me human. Oh Celestia, what would I look like as a human?’ Rarity nudged Twilight in the ribs and whispered into her ear, “Twilight! The Princess is talking to you!” Pain from her ribs snapping her back to reality, Twilight sat straight up. “W-w-Yes Princess! I’m here, and awake, and I’ve been listening!” She gave a wide smile, hoping that it would hide how red her face had turned. Celestia just smiled and continued, “I’m sure you were Twilight, and I know you must be exhausted from last night’s mission, but I’m going to need you to show the human agents to their rooms after the President’s briefing.” Twilight cocked an eyebrow, “Wait…huh?” The sound of Celestia’s words echoed in her mind, “OH right! Humans. Living with us now. Right, got it.” Twilight’s mind focused on a single fact of that statement, ‘Wait...’ Celestia let out a quiet and dainty laugh that sounded as divine as the goddess looked, “Indeed my faithful student. Now if you would all give your attention to President Joseph…” She unfurled a wing and pointed it at the aged man. “Thank you Princess,” he said stepping forward, “Time for the bad news.” The ponies gulped in unison while the human agents leaned forward, listening intently. “For the past week, dogs, cats, and other forms of city fauna have been disappearing in Greenwich Village at an alarming rate.” Fluttershy put her hooves to her mouth and gasped, “Those poor animals! Don’t they have owners, or somepony to look after them?” The President gave her a flat look, “Some of them did, but most were just strays. At first, city officials believed they were just moving to other parts of the city or, getting stuck in a pipe somewhere…” “What are we doing here then?!” cried Fluttershy, “We have to find those poor, innocent little animals and give them a home! Poor little things are probably shivering alone in some dirty and dark hole and crying out for somepony to help them!” The President’s face contorted into an expression of guilt. He obviously did not want to tell the sensitive pegasus the next part, but duty dictated he did, “Recent information says otherwise miss.” The President took a zip-lock bag out of his pocket and held it up for everyone to see. Inside of it was a dog collar, and even Twilight’s groggy vision could see it was caked with dried blood. Twilight’s friends, especially Fluttershy, all put their hooves over their mouths and looked away. “From what we can tell,” the president said as he replaced the bag into his pocket, “all of the missing animals were hunted down and eaten by a foreign predator, and last night we were fortunate enough to get an eye witness with a camera.” The President removed a medium sized orange folder from within his suit jacket and threw it onto the coffee table that sat between the two couches. As it landed, a single photo slid out of it. The creature in the photo was in the process of diving into a manhole, and all that could be seen was two powerful looking legs and a crocodilian tail. Rainbow Dash cocked her head to the side, “It certainly looks nasty.” Hawk picked up the photo and examined it closely. “That it does. It’ll look even worse when I put a pound of lead into it.” Megan put a hand on Hawk’s shoulder and pointed to the red spot on the man’s arm, “You’re not going anywhere near a sewer with a bite wound like that.” Hawk gave a plaintive look at the woman, “But…” “No buts,” said Megan, “Doctor’s orders. Dimitri and Zorro can take care of this.” “Actually,” said Zorro giving a slight cough, “I might have a tiny little cold.” Megan rolled her eyes, “Ugh, fine. I’ll go with Dimitri and Fluttershy can bandage up Hawk. Applejack, you want to go on an adventure into the Manhattan sewer system with me?” The orange earth pony removed her hat and scratched her chin, “Well, weighing the prospects of such a venture, Ah’d have to say...” A devious smile crossed her face as she replaced her hat, “Darn tootin’! I’m not gonna let some varmint get away with munchin’ on somepony’s pet dog!” Dash jumped onto the coffee table with wings fully extended, “Hay yeah! Count me in too! No way am I not going on an adventure!” “Замечатель! This vill be like game of Dungeon and Dragon!” Dimitri received an odd look from everyone in the room. President Joseph patted the young man on the back while laughing to himself, “Well then Dimitri, you and the others best get rolling.” * * * An hour later, Megan Dimitri, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack were all standing around an open manhole with an old van Megan had commandeered from the parking lot that was full of supplies. Thankfully, the ponies didn’t question where Megan had found it or why she had to hot-wire the vehicle to make it start. Though Megan was more thankful that the ponies didn’t ask her about the ‘Free Candy’ sign they found in the back. With a brisk huff, Megan walked over to the van and opened the back, “Come on Dimitri, let’s unload the stuff.” “Vhy is it alvays me?” asked the young man to no one in particular. “Because ponies don’t have hands!” Megan called back. “Now stop crying and earn your keep.” Dimitri could only reply with a heavy sigh and moved to help unpack the several boxes they had packed before leaving the Bureau. “Hey AJ…” whispered Dash as she stretched out her legs. Applejack began swinging her lasso in long practice loops with her mouth, causing her reply to be somewhat muffled,, “Yeah Dashie?” “You think Twilight and that human in the coat have a thing for each other?” Applejack very nearly swallowed her rope. “W-Where in tarnation did you get a strange idea like that?!” Dash leaned over to her friend, “Were you not in that briefing? Twilight was totally giving him bedroom eyes the entire time!” “And what, if’n you don’t mind me askin’, are ‘bedroom eyes’?” Dash rolled her eyes, “Ugh, it’s the look one pony gives to another when they want to…you know…do it.” Applejack furrowed her brow, “Oh. And you think Twilight wants ta…An Hawk wants to…Twilight…” The earth pony’s mind swam with implications. The two did spend all last night in that graveyard together. “Ya know, now that ya mention it, I do recall Twilight not peeling her eyes away from ‘im.” Megan dropped a large box down in between the two ponies, causing them to jump in fright. “What’re ya’ll talking about?” she asked with a smile, “Certain stallions you two might have an eye on perhaps?” Applejack and Dash’s faces grew an intense shade of red. Dimitri walked into the group and knelt over the box, sighing under his breath, “Может быть они говорили о том, насколько они хотят иметь секс друг с другом?” Megan gave him a dirty look and a punch in the shoulder, “For that you get to go in first.” Dimitri rubbed the spot where she hit him and gave a sorry look. “What did he say?” asked Applejack, now more confused than embarrassed. “Nothing worth repeating,” replied Megan. “So anyvay…” Dimitri interjected as he dug through the box’s contents with his good arm, “Vhat ve have for today’s adventure is: instant torches, flare gun vith ten shots, three fifty-thousand wolt tasers, vith safeties off,” He turned to the ponies as if answering an unasked question, “So prolonged exposure might just melt your skin off. Next ve have tomahawks and throwing hatchets,” he suddenly reeled back a bit, “and a two pound block of C4?” Megan cocked an eyebrow, “C4? Who put C4 in my box?!” “What in tarnation’s see four?” asked Applejack leaning her head in close enough to sniff the strange block of putty. “Big explosive, wery dangerous, wery loud,” replied Dimitri turning the brick shaped object over in his hands. There was a small pink square of paper on the bottom of the brick, and on it was a message. “Oh look! A sticky note!” Dimitri plucked it off, his face brightening as he read, “Just in case. Love Hawk.” “Awww, well ain’t that sweet!” said Applejack forcing a smile, making sure to give an ‘oh-my-goodness-you-might-be-right’ glance at Dash. Dash returned it with an ‘I-told-you-so’ grin. Megan placed her hand over her face and sighed, “I am going to kill that man.” * * * An instant torch dropped down through the manhole and hit the cold stone with a clack. Seconds later, a young man with a large axe on his back climbed down the ladder that led to the street, touching down in the old stonework. Dimitri picked up the torch and held it above his head, illuminating thirty or so feet of darkness. The sewer tunnel had a roof made of old brick, and wide enough to be a road. Old pipes cris-crossed on the ceiling, and occasionally thrummed with activity. After surveying the immediate area, he called up to those above him, “Clear!” Megan climbed down next, two tomahawks looped around her belt, and a flare gun holstered at her hip. As she touched down next to the young man, she wiped her hands off on her blue jeans and took in a few breaths of air. “Well, it doesn’t smell bad,” she said at length, “Weird”. “Megan?” called Applejack from the street, “Ah-Ah’m ready ta’ come down! You ready to catch me?” Megan looked up at the pony head that hovered above the manhole, “I sure am sugar-cube!” The woman stretched out her arms, preparing to catch the small equine. Applejack backed away from the hole to get some distance, “Okay! Here Ah go!” She ran towards the opened and jumped into the air, curling into a canon-ball dive, “YEE-HAW!” Falling straight through the manhole and into Megan’s awaiting arms, she gave out a dainty “Oomf!” Feeling the arms of her human friend support her form, the orange pony opened her eyes to see Megan’s smiling face. “You’re lighter than you look,” said the woman. “Hey, Ah can be dainty if Ah want ta’ be,” Applejack replied as Megan placed her on solid ground, “Jus’ don’t on account of it not bein’ all that practical.” “Yeah, that’s what I like about you AJ,” called Rainbow Dash as she jumped down from the opening, flaring out her wings and gliding smoothly to the ground. “You aren’t afraid to have fun and get dirty, unlike Rarity.” “Vhy vould she vant to pass up a glorious opportunity like this?” Dimitri asked in earnest. “It is not every day one gets to go into dungeon and hunt lizard man. Ад, I vould do this even if I vasn’t part of the Agency.” Applejack rolled her eyes in wide arcs, “Ah don’t think Rarity would care much fer the decorations, or the murderous lizard creature that might be stalkin’ ‘round down here.” “Speaking of ol’ scaly,” said Dash looking down both directions of the sewer, seeing only darkness. “Where do we start looking for him anyway?” “Downstream,” said Megan, “Any animals that had drowned during a storm would flow that way, making for an easy meal, and I got a feeling this thing wouldn’t mind getting wet.” Wincing at the cold analysis, Applejack asked the next question, “An’ which way is downstream? It all looks a might flat down here to me.” Glancing around the gloomy tunnel the orange pony added, “Then again, Ah can’t see much of anything down here.” “I can answer this one!” exclaimed Dimitri, removing a bottle of water from his army surplus cargo pants. He bent over and began pouring it out slowly onto the ground making sure it didn’t splash. Sure enough, as the puddle grew a small tendril of water began to trail off down into the darkness. With a swarthy looking smile, Dimitri tossed an instant torch over to Megan. Immediately after catching the long brown stick, she cracked the top off of it, causing the tip to burst into a bright white light. “You lead Mr. Scientist,” said Megan patting the young man on the back, “I’ll bring up the rear. AJ, you and Dash keep an eye out for side passages that look like something might be using them.” As they fell into the marching order Dash asked, “What kind of signs of life does a lizard monster give?” “Oh you known, average stuff,” replied Megan, “Claw marks on the walls and bricks, loose scales on the ground, maybe a footprint in some dirt…” “Bones,” added Dimitri. Megan nodded in agreement, “Definitely bones.” Dash and Applejack exchanged glances, and together they both gulped. * * * Meanwhile, at the Bureau, an exhausted Twilight had long since been carried to her bed by her concerned mentor Princess Celestia, who had to depart with President Joseph shortly after. They had to leave in order to prepare a statement to the general populace, they had to tell the people what the bridging of the two worlds had wrought. After the goodbyes, everyone had gone off to do what they thought needed to be done. Fluttershy patched up Hawk’s bite wound from the ghastly business of the previous night, and after that the yellow pegasus had gone out to her little animal sanctuary and tended her flock. Rarity went to go take a bath with a trashy novella called, “The Stallion from the South,” and had not been seen since. As for the human Hawk, he and his friend Zorro were busy picking out their rooms and converting one of the lounges into a briefing room/communications headquarters. Zorro had conveniently ceased coughing around the time he selected his room, which occurred before any of the other humans had a chance to pick rooms of their own. Pinkie on the other hand, sat alone in the cafeteria. It was just past lunchtime, so all the humans and ponified people had left to go back to their rooms while giving a wide berth to the human agents. Pinkie sighed and closed her eyes, and was instantly bombarded with images of a Headless Horseman, laughing maniacally as he decapitated pony after pony, their dead eyes always looking at Pinkie no matter how they landed. Shaking her head clear of the images, the pink mare concluded that she would never sleep again. Not if such horrible things were now stuck in her mind. A little voice in her head spoke up, ‘They are gone, and they are never coming back. Their families are going to be so sad to know that you survived instead of their brother, or sister, or son, or daughter...’ She shook her head more hoping to quiet the voice, but it persisted. ‘How are you going to live with yourself knowing that if you had warned them sooner, they might still be alive?’ A cup of tea slid into Pinkie’s vision from across the table. “You look terrible,” came a cold, but undeniably feminine voice. Looking up, Pinkie saw Captain Barnes with a cup of her own. “OH! Hey there Ms. Barnes…wh-w-what are you doing here?” “Captain,” replied Barnes in a flat tone, her eyes unreadable behind her shaded sunglasses. “Huh?” “My rank is captain,” she took a sip of her tea, “and unless my intel was wrong, you are Pinkamena Diane Pie, the element of laughter and joy.” Pinkie lowered her head, “Yeah…that’s me, but I just go by Pinkie usually Mis…I mean Captain Barnes.” Pinkie started running her hooves through her straight hair, hoping that the human would soon leave. Barnes leaned forward, “You do not look very happy for the embodiment of joy.” Pinkie debated whether talking to Barnes was a good idea. In the brief amount of time she had known the woman, Barnes had not once smiled or given any indication of feeling anything. Pinkie watched the swirls of steam rise from her tea cup and decided to go for it. “I keep having nightmares about last night, or maybe I should call them daymares…I don’t know. It’s just that...last night something bad happened to a lot of innocent people for no reason, and I couldn’t help them and now I have to live with the images of people dying and screaming and…” Tears started rolling down Pinkie’s face as the images of dead bodies and screaming heads filled her vision. Barnes took another sip of her tea, “That’s the world for you, and you had best learn to cope with it. Last night was just another incident in the long history of bad things happening to good people.” The prospect of having to watch more innocent people die did not set well with Pinkie Pie at all, and she knew that this would never have happened in Equestria. ‘But you’re not in Equestria anymore Pinkie, you are in Human Lands. Here, pointless death and sorrow is the norm. Here, the world hates you.’ The pink mare looked into the dark shading of Barnes’ sunglasses, “How do you cope with it? I mean…I can’t…” Barnes placed her tea cup down in front of her, her voice changing from her normally steely tone to one that had equal parts concern and tenderness, “You find a friend and you talk about it. Usually over a cup of tea.”. Pinkie was taken aback from the sudden change in the human’s voice, and looked down at the hot cup of tea in front of her. Its swirling strands of steam looked like they were dancing, as if they were trying to cheer up the pink pony. “Now Pinkie,” Barnes pushed Pinkie Pie’s tea cup closer to the mare and asked in her new soft voice, “do you have anything you want to talk about with me?” For the first time since last night Pinkie Pie felt a smile cross her face. Making new friends always cheered Pinkie up. * * * “What is that?” asked Dash in regards to a large gap in the smooth stone work of the wall. Dimitri raised his torch in an effort to shine more light into the breach they had discovered, “I think…it is vhat is called a ‘hole in the vall’.” He looked at the rainbow pegasus and shrugged, “But that is just my opinion.” “Tha’ real question is what’s on the other side of it?” added Applejack as she walked up to it. “Dash,” began Megan, “can you feel if air is going in or out of the hole?” “Sure thing,” she replied flaring out her wings and her feathers began wobbling as air brushed past them. “There is definitely a breeze coming out of here,” she paused, “A warm breeze.” “That sounds like our lair!” Dimitri exclaimed. He threw his instant torch into the hole, illuminating the descending tunnel, and readied his large axe. “Lead on General Harth,” said Megan sarcastically. Applejack cocked an eyebrow, “Who?” “Old var hero,” replied Dimitri walking into the hole, followed by Applejack and then Dash. Megan took out a tomahawk and flipped it in her hands a couple times, “Didn’t he punch the first pony he met?” She gave a quick glance around before entering the tunnel after the ponies. Dash exchanged a surprised look with Applejack and hesitantly asked, “Why would he do that?” Dimitri responded in a light hearted way, “From vhat I hear, he did not agree vith concept of pegasus. Something about pony vith vings bothered him, and he did not like it vhen pony flew into his face to say hello. So he punch it in face.” “Sounds like a real …” Applejack paused to search for the right word. Dash jumped on the opportunity, “Ass.” The two humans stopped in their tracks and looked at Rainbow Dash in profound surprise, causing the pegasus some discomfort. At length, Megan and Dimitri looked at each other and nodded in agreement. “Sounds right to me,” they said in tandem, after which they both erupted into laughter and continued down the passageway. After some time of traveling down the tunnel, they group came upon an opening into a large dark cavern. There was the sound of running water, and a warm breeze blew through the darkness, and it carried with it the smell of rot and death. “Okay, now it smells bad,” quipped Megan as she drew the flare gun from her hip. Pointing it to the ceiling, or what she thought was the ceiling, she fired off her first flare. The flare spread light all throughout the cavern, which in fact turned out to be a half-flooded train terminal. The structure itself resembled an old, weathered, and decrepit version of Grand Central Station. It was large and seemed to be made out of big stone blocks and bricks held together by subterranean molds and moss. The building appeared to have merged with the cavern wall, and as such was suspended above an underground lake, with only an ancient staircase to bridge the entrance of the cavern to the station. The party all gasped in amazement as they took in the sheer enormity of the expanse. As the first flare began to dim, Applejack thought she saw something duck into the water at the last second. “Megan! Fire up another one of them flares quick!” Megan eagerly complied, loading and firing another bright red flare up towards the ceiling of the cavern. Once again the worn architecture was revealed in all of its forgotten splendor. “Did you see something sugar-cube?” asked Megan, her eyes scanning the surface of the waters. There was nothing, not even a ripple. “Ah thought ah did.” “Let us get into the structure,” suggested Dimitri, “I feel somevhat exposed out here.” “Tell me about it,” said Dash as the flare began to dim again. Darkness fell around them, leaving only the illumination of Megan’s instant torch as their light source. As Megan was loading another flare, the sound of something emerging from water came from somewhere in the gloom, followed by a low hiss and heavy, squishy sounding footfalls. “Tell me again why you guys didn’t bring your guns,” Dash asked while her herd instincts kicked in, moving her closer to Applejack. The squishy footsteps were getting louder, and so was the hissing. Dimitri hefted his axe and faced the approaching sound, “If I fired mine underground, there vould be a good chance of us all going deaf.” “Mine’s a sniper rifle, not good for close quarters,” added Megan pointing the flare gun at the roof, “And no way am I bringing my daddy’s Winchester into a goddamn sewer.” She fired off the flare and dropped the launcher, pulling a tomahawk from her belt. On the staircase in front of them, rather unfazed by the flare’s red light, stood a scaled creature that reminded Applejack and Dash of Spike, except taller and far less cute. It was supported by two powerful legs, trailing behind it was a long tail that swept back and forth across the ground silently. At the ends of its muscled arms was a pair of very sharp looking claws, which opened and closed with each step the creature took. Its eyes gleamed with the cold stare only a reptile could give, and at the end of its short snout was a toothy maw which emitted the hissing noise that could curdle milk. After recovering from the shock of seeing a Lizard Man, Megan threw a tomahawk at it, striking it squarely in its chest. Unfortunately, this only seemed to anger it. Dimitri charged it, coming at it with a downward swing with his axe, but the Lizard Man was faster than it looked and backhanded the young man in the chest and sent him flying into the water a good ten feet away. “Сын сука!” was all Dimitri could yell before he hit the water. Applejack charged the Lizard Man going in low, as Rainbow Dash took flight and circled around behind it coming in high. The pegasus shouted a battle cry as she flew in for the strike, “Take this you overgrown Iguana!” The Lizard Man quickly turned around sweeping Applejack off her hooves with its tail, as it swatted Dash down to the ground with a claw. It let out a roar of victory as it hovered over the stunned pegasus, extending a claw to pick her up. Before it could however, Megan lept onto the Lizard Man’s back with a live taser. “Taste lightning bog breath!” Megan jammed the active taser into the Lizard Man’s neck, causing the beast to release a terrifying roar that echoed loudly within the cavern. The Lizard Man summoned the strength to resist the pain of being electrocuted and raised a massive claw imbedding its nails into Megan’s back. Her scream was almost as awful as the Lizard Man’s. Now with a firm grip, the monster flung Megan over its head into the ancient brick staircase, smoke rising from its neck as well as the axe blade stuck in its chest. The beast stepped on Dash on its way to Megan’s prone and bleeding body, sending the air out of the pegasus’ lungs before she could stand up. The Lizard Man now loomed above Megan, who was trying desperately to reach for another tomahawk. Grabbing the woman by the neck, the creature lifted Megan up to eye level and resumed its hissing noise. It suddenly found a lasso around its neck, and tried to resist being pulled backwards by Applejack. “Don’t you touch her you son of a bitch!” cried the orange pony through gritted teeth. She heaved again against the monstrosity, forcing it to take a step back. The light of the flare was dimming as Megan finally found a grip on the tomahawk. After another heave from Applejack, Megan swung at the Lizard Man’s neck, burying the axe deep into the creature’s scaly flesh. The monster released its grip on the woman, who rolled across the damp stones in the direction of the station. Rainbow Dash had gotten back up and gripped the rope with Applejack, giving it as strong a pull as she could muster. With two ponies pulling on it, and a tomahawk in its neck to boot, the Lizard Man toppled down the stairs. It landed at the bottom of the steps with a satisfying thump and remained motionless. Any thoughts of celebration died as the flare did, surrounding the party in total darkness. There was a splash not long after as the hissing noise disappeared. Megan lit an instant torch creating a circle of light. The Lizard Man had slipped free of the lasso and the water rippled with recent activity. “Dimitri?!” called Megan, “Get to land as fast as possible!” “Vorking on it!” replied Dimitri, just now swimming into the small area of light. “That thing has nasty left hook you know.” Megan winced, feeling burning hot pain from the fresh wounds on her back, “I know what you mean.” Rainbow Dash took flight and hovered over Dimitri, “Hold on, I got ya!” She somehow gripped onto his shoulders with her front hooves and began dragging the young man through the water towards the stone walkway. Applejack had recovered her lasso and moved next to Megan, who had taken to sitting down on the old brick stairs. “How’re ya’ holding up there sugar-cube? Ya’ took quite a hit from that…thing.” Megan sat very still and only glanced at the orange pony, “My back hurts.” Applejack gave a weak smile to her friend, “Well ah reckon it would after hittin’ them stairs like that!” With a soft nuzzle to Megan’s face she began to move behind the woman, “Let me have a look see an maybe ah can massage it or-” She let out a gasp when she saw Megan’s back. Blood was leaking from five dime sized holes and was streaming down the woman’s back, forming a pool on the bricks. “Dear Celestia…” “AJ,” said Megan, “I need you to do something for me.” “Y-yeah?” Megan slowly moved her arm and presented Applejack with the lit instant torch, “Take this and cauterize my wounds.” “Vait!” called Dimitri while he climbed onto the shore, “Disinfect first, then seal! Do not vant infection!” “You got alcohol on you?” replied the woman. Dimitri ran up to her and pulled out a flask from his back pocket, “Law one of living in Russia: Alvays carry Vodka.” He gave her a big smile, which she returned with a weak chuckle. Wasting no time Dimitri opened it and moved behind her pausing only to say, “You might vant to bite down on something.” Rainbow Dash, who had flown in after Dimitri, grabbed the end of Applejack’s rope and offered it to Megan. The woman took it and gingerly placed it in her mouth, already biting down hard. “Here ve go,” said Dimitri as he began to pour. * * * They had all moved into the station portion of the cavern, only barely noticing the ornate stonework that adorned the front entryway. Megan was resting her head on Applejack, who was all too eager to offer the small service. The orange pony was just glad that Megan was alive, if a bit burned. Dimitri and Dash had set up a perimeter of instant torches, shedding light into the large and empty building. It was majestic to say the least, but also had an air of mystery to it. Dash had asked Dimitri about it, but he didn’t know of any train stations that had sunk beneath the earth. “More than likely, it manifested. Like spooky town of horseman,” he had offered. The words had done little to make the pegasus feel better. Rainbow Dash had since been pacing back and forth. “I think we need to go,” she said, “Like, back to the surface and-I don’t know-seal off the sewers or something!” “One problem with that Dashie,” countered Applejack, “This Lizard-thingy will still be down here.” “And now it knows it can compete vith humans and ponies,” added Dimitri. “No kidding,” groaned Megan. Something in the darkness climbed out of the water. The sound of wet footsteps echoed through the cavern, followed by a low hiss. Dimitri grabbed his long axe and moved to the center of the torch ring. “He’s back!” said the young man tensing up. Dash flew in soon after looking somewhat shaken. “Any pony got a plan?” she asked. Applejack gently moved out from under Megan and trotted to the center, her mind abuzz. “Ah got an idea. Me an’ Dash wait on opposite sides of tha’ entrance with them zappy things and jump the varmint when it enters. Then Dimitri hits it with his axe.” She looked at the other two, who looked at each other and nodded. “Sounds like a plan to me!” exclaimed Dash, much of her confidence returning. Dimitri handed the ponies the tasers, giving quick instructions on how they worked, before the ponies ran into positions. The wet footsteps were very close, but they still couldn’t see the creature. Dimitri took an instant torch from the ring and tossed it through the door. The Lizard Man was just now cresting the lip of the staircase. It had removed the tomahawks from its chest and neck at some point during its disappearance and seemed no worse for wear as a result. After what seemed to be an agonizing eternity of its slow, wet, footsteps getting closer and closer, and its reptilian hiss getting louder and louder, it was finally at the door. “NOW!” screamed Applejack, as she and Dash jumped at its sides, tasers crackling loudly. The Lizard Man let out a pained roar as electricity shot through every vein of its body. Dimitri let out a roar of his own as he charged the monster and brought his axe down into its chest. It staggered backwards a few feet as Dimitri yanked his weapon out of the creature’s chest. “Zap it again!” yelled Dash, as she and Applejack lunged at it again, hoping to Celestia that the beast would just die. But it was faster than it looked. Before they could connect, the Lizard Man fell to all fours and swatted at the ponies with its tail knocking them away. Dimitri came at it with his axe again, but the creature ducked to the side, avoiding the strike. Standing on its legs again, the monster grabbed Dimitri with its two powerful claws and threw him into a nearby support column. The wound in its chest was hemorrhaging blood, the Lizard Man’s hissing was becoming labored and forced. With some effort, it moved towards the prey that was giving it the least trouble. Megan gripped onto the soft putty-like ball in her hand, and with considerable agony, rose to her feet to face the monster. She took a quick glance around: Dimitri had hit that pillar hard and wasn’t moving, while Applejack and Dash were still pulling themselves together. Then there was the Lizard Man, taking its time lumbering over to Megan with one claw covering its chest and the other preparing for a strike. Her body was only willing to try this once, so she had to make it count. That didn’t stop her from making one last act of bravado however. She raised both her arms out, one had the ball of putty with pins in it, the other a small black box. “If there’s enough of you left after this, I am so making you into a wallet,” she taunted. The Lizard Man moved in closer and raised both arms, with the obvious intent to rip her to shreds. Megan saw her opening and tackled the abomination with a war cry that put whatever the monster called a roar to shame. She plunged the putty ball into the open wound in the Lizard Man’s chest. The creature roared in agony as Megan made sure the base ball sized portion of C4 she had just armed was good and lodged in the beast’s stomach. Deciding that the C4 was in there well enough, Megan retracted her arm and rolled out of the creatures reach. “APPLEJACK!” called Megan, “GET THAT THING THE BUCK OUT OF HERE!” Applejack, who had been regaining her senses from a hit to the head, heard the command clear as a bell. “Come on Dash! Time ta’ show this critter who’s boss!” “Right behind you AJ!” replied the pegasus. The Lizard Man was too distracted clutching its stomach and chest with its claws to notice the two ponies run in front of it and rear their hind legs. Together, the two ponies bucked the scaly monster in its stomach and sent it flying a good six feet out the entrance. The Lizard Man hit the stairs and rolled down the length of them, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. “Aaaand he’s outta there!” called Rainbow Dash as she trotted to the entrance, “Team Awesome: Two! Monsters: Zero! Suck on that you scaly son of a b-” The Lizard Man exploded. The force from the explosion itself was enough to send Rainbow Dash back a good foot and a half, whereas the noise left a very loud ringing in the ears of all who still had ears. Dash had to shake her head a couple times to stop her eyes from spinning. Megan leaned against a nearby wall, almost collapsing out right, and left a trail of blood as she slid down to the ground. * * * “They’re back!” screamed Pinkie Pie bouncing with excitement. “You know what this means Rarity?!” The white unicorn gazed over her early sketches for team uniforms, “I can guess. Could it possibly be a-” “That’s right! A PARTY! Oh I’m going to need some balloons and some glitter and some streamers and some cake and a TROMBONE!” The bright pink mare zipped out of the entrance hall of the Bureau, giggling madly. Rarity just sighed and made herself look presentable, no doubt her friends wouldn’t mind seeing something nice and clean after being down in those awful sewers. Rarity put on an award winning smile, fueled by genuine relief that all four of those that had left had returned. Then she saw that one was not so much walking towards the front door, as much as leaning on the others and bleeding all over the place. Rarity’s smile faded as she turned to the receptionist, “Ditzy! Get Fluttershy to the medical room immediately! She is about to have another patient!” The wall eyed pony slammed a hoof to her forehead and sped off like a bullet towards the animal sanctuary. Rarity meanwhile busied herself by preparing a spell to carry the wounded. Dimitri, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all rushed into the front room, all in some way supporting the bleeding Megan. “Rarity,” started the orange pony, “Megan’s hurt bad in the back an’ we need to get her to the nursing room fast.” “That’s why I’m here AJ,” replied Rarity with a tone as graceful as ever. Her horn glowed, and the air around Megan followed suit. Soon she became weightless and floated through the air, her back facing up. Without another word, Rarity galloped off towards the nursing room with the floating Megan in tow, the other three following close behind. * * * Megan woke up three hours later, counting five dull pains in her back and feeling rather woozy. She was lying on her stomach in what she then decided was the most comfortable bed in the world. Opening her eyes, the first thing she saw was a very concerned looking orange pony. Summoning every ounce of strength, she said, “Hey there sugar-cube.” Applejack’s smile was sweet and pure, and made Megan feel better instantly. Not good enough to punch lizard men with high explosive of course, but better than how she had felt a few seconds ago. Applejack nuzzled Megan’s cheek saying, “Hey there yerself! You had us all worried sick.” “Is Zorro here?” asked Megan weakly. Applejack nodded, “He’s right here. He, Hawk an’ me haven’t left your side since Rarity brought you in, not even ta’ use the bathroom.” Zorro’s sultry voice came from the other side of the bed, “How are you doing mi querida muchacha?” Megan shifted her head to look at the man. His normally suave face was blemished with worry. “Zorro,” she whispered. He leaned in closer, “Yes Megan?” “Next time you have a cold…” she gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him in close, “Do me a favor and suck it up.” She let go of Zorro, the last of her strength spent. Closing her eyes, she turned her head back to face Applejack’s direction. “Hey Megan,” came Hawk’s voice. With great effort, Megan opened her eyes again. “Yeah Hawk?” Hawk stepped into her vision holding something behind his back. “When you came in, you were clutching some lizard skin, so I took the liberty of making this for you while you were out.” He presented Megan with a small coin purse made from Lizard Man skin. “Ta-da!” Megan just rolled her eyes and smiled, falling asleep soon after. The End Episode 2 is done Onto episode 3! Let’s hope I can keep this up. * * * Yellowstone: The Series By: Anonsi(He cares nothing for consistent updates!) Episode 3 Creepy Crawling ______________________________________________________________________________ For ages, Equestria has existed separate from the rest of the world, protected by a magical barrier that prevented it from being seen, touched, or reached by humans and their machines. But five years ago, the ponies of Equestria landed on the shores of human lands claiming to be there to save the earth and humanity from pollution, hate, and greed. To do this, the top human scientists and pony magicians created a potion to turn humans into ponies in places called, Conversion Bureaus. Within two years of its release, more than half the total human populace on Earth has converted. The balance of the world has been forever altered, as the remaining human nations form new governments for those humans that remain. An uneventful two days have passed at the Conversion Bureau where Twilight and her friends now live with the human task force, and all are able to rest easy knowing that the Lizard Man, a creature which would have began hunting pony and human alike if left unchecked, has been slain. Though suffering from the worst of the wounds sustained, Megan is on the road to a full recovery thanks to both Fluttershy’s medical treatment and Rarity’s healing magic. President Joseph McCullough however, has bore a troubled brow since his return to the White House. Every passing day he receives increasingly disturbing reports on the effects of Equestria’s wayward magic from all over the world. So far the only pillar of support he has found is Princess Celestia, who has sworn to remain in human lands until the current crisis ends, and now resides within the walls of White House doing what she can to aid both her people and the humans in these dark days... ______________________________________________________________________________ It was early morning when President Joseph went outside to water his rose garden. He enjoyed watering his plants this early in the morning, it gave him time to think about how he was going to fix the mountains of problems he always found himself faced with. Later today, he would be addressing what remained of the United Nations, in an effort to get some collaboration from the other countries with little more than theories and good old fashioned sweet talking. Of course, it helped that Celestia was going to back him up. Celestia being involved went a great deal in assuaging his fears about the coming speech. What really concerned him was the unrest within his own country. Yesterday, he had received a letter during dinner with the Princess that pleaded for his immediate assistance in a very troubling matter. Apparently, there was a gang war going on in the only city on the west coast with a predominantly pony populace, between the well known HLF, and a new group calling themselves PER. “Good morning Joseph,” came a voice from behind him, “I didn’t expect to see you up so early.” The president continued to water his roses, chuckling under his breath, “Well excuse me Princess, but I don’t tend to sleep well when what’s left of my country is on the brink of annihilation.” Princess Celestia moved to smell the roses of the garden, a serene look crossing her face, “Now Joseph, I hardly think things have gotten that bad. My pupil and her friends have been doing rather well in handling this situation, as have your agents.” Moving along the garden bed, the President replied, “It hasn’t even been a week since they started, Princess. The two victories our teams have had are two very small drops in a very large bucket.” Celestia gave the old man a smile that could brighten any day, “Those are still two more drops in the victory bucket than in the failure bucket. That’s a hundred percent success rate so far. Sounds to me like we’re doing rather well for ourselves, wouldn’t you agree?” Joseph returned her bright smile with a heavy sigh, “I can’t argue with that logic.” He could actually, but simply chose not to. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about the innocent lives being lost to the the reemergence of magic, and instead chose to change the subject. “Anyway Princess, how’s the home front? Everything going well in Ponyland?” Celestia always giggled when he said that, and this time was no different. Her soft and delicate laughter was exactly what Joseph needed to hear to complete the serenity of his morning. “Everything is fine,” she was able to get out between chortles, “my dear sister has outdone herself with keeping everything in order, and I truly couldn’t be more proud of her.” Her joy was infectious, and Joseph found himself smiling as he finished watering his garden. “I’m glad to hear that, and I hope the day comes when things are under control enough for you to be with her again.” “I have no doubt that day will be coming soon Joseph,” she spread her wings and prepared to take off, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go fly off those apples from breakfast. A princess must keep her figure you know.” Flashing the President one last award winning smile she took off into the sky with the speed of a jet plane. Yawning, the President made his way back towards the White House, deciding that he might get a second helping of pancakes before calling his Agents. “An old fart must keep his figure after all.” * * * She was standing in a magnificent apple orchard. The sunlight streamed in through the leaves of the trees, and she could smell the sweet nectar of the apple blossoms on the cool breeze that blew in from the east. Suddenly, a large red stallion was standing in front of her, gazing deeply into her eyes. “Oh Big Mac…” she said as she gazed right back into his calm and gentle eyes, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you…” He leaned in close. “Eeyup?” he asked. Her heart began pounding, and she could feel her insides grow warm. “I need to tell you something Big Mac. Something dreadfully important.” He leaned in closer, so close that he could have kissed her if he wanted to. “Eeyup?” he asked again. “I want you Big Mac! I want you so bad it’s driving me crazy!” She began to swoon, “Take me now you magnificent stallion!” she shouted. She didn’t care if anypony heard her, she was in love! The large red pony grabbed her and tipped her over, holding the now swooning mare in his front hooves. “Rarity...” he said. “Oh Big Mac!” “Rarity!” “Kiss me you foal!” she cried out, puckering her lips in anticipation. “Rarity i-it’s time to wake up,” he said in Fluttershy’s demure voice. Time seemed to stop as Rarity realized she was awake. She lifted her eye cover ever so slowly, lips still puckered. There standing next to her bed was her good friend Fluttershy, whose face was already red as a tomato. “How much did you hear?” asked the unicorn with growing concern in her voice. The yellow pegasus lowered her head meekly and looked at her hooves, “Ummm…u-up until you said you wanted me to…t-to…umm…well that is, you wanted Big Mac to…well…umm…kiss you.” Her cheeks somehow turned even more crimson and she showed no intention of looking away from the floor. Rarity sighed. This wasn’t the first time her bashful friend had walked in on one of her ‘episodes.’ Fortunately, the unicorn had never gotten to the more…intimate, portion of the dream; a fact that probably saved them both from dying of embarrassment. Rolling out of bed, Rarity removed her assorted sleepwear with her magic. “I really must apologize, Fluttershy. I should really start using that alarm clock that came with this place.” Moving to a large vanity mirror that she had picked up from market, she lifted a comb and other accessories that were pivotal in her morning routine towards her with her magic, and began brushing her mane. “Oh…I-I don’t mind,” replied the pegasus, still staring at her hooves, “It’s really not all that much trouble.” Fluttershy raised her head ever so slightly, “And besides, you threw out your alarm clock.” Rarity stopped her grooming and tilted her head in confusion, “Why in Equestria would I do that? That doesn’t sound like something I would do.” “You said it was tacky and clashed with the decor,” whispered the yellow pony in response, her eyes now darting between her friend and her hooves as she spoke. The unicorn ran Fluttershy’s comment through her brain. She gave a shrug, “Okay that does sound like me. Oh well! I’ll just get a new, less tacky, one when next I go out.” Rarity gave a dainty laugh to her friend and resumed combing her mane. “So darling, what’s on the agenda today?” Fluttershy trotted next to the glamorous unicorn and smiled at her reflection in the mirror, “Oh, just the usual things. You know, like feeding the animals, singing to the birds, making sure all of those cute little critters have a soft comfy bed to sleep in. Oh! And helping the new-foals learn to fly of course.” Rarity looked at her friend in the mirror. “And?” she added, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow. “And?” whimpered the timid pony, now looking around frantically for an object that might jog her memory. Rarity turned and faced Fluttershy with a hurt look. “Fluttershy! Our tea party!” she said with a slightly whiny tone, “With the human agents? Remember?” “Oh my goodness!” replied the pegasus, her cheeks again turning red from embarrassment, “I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I forgot that!” The unicorn rolled her eyes and smiled, giving her friend a light nuzzle on her cheek, “All is forgiven darling, just make sure you’re there at noon. It wouldn’t be as much fun without you after all.” Fluttershy’s face beamed up at Rarity, who returned it with an equally bright smile. “I’ll make sure of it Rarity, don’t you worry.” She then trotted out of her friend’s room calling “See you later!” behind her. Rarity turned back to the mirror as Fluttershy left, giving a content little sigh at her gorgeous reflection. “Simply fabulous,” she said as she blew a kiss at herself and giggled. “Oh Rarity…” she said in a deep voice, eyeing her reflection seductively, “Ah may just be a mere farmer pony with a flank like chiseled granite, and the face of a stallion super model, but could you ever bring yourself to love a simple pony like me?” She batted her eyelashes and dramatically swooned onto her bed, “Oh Big Mac! If only you were a rich, stuck up, narcissistic, and extremely rude swine like Prince Blueblood! But alas! I must settle for you, a charming, handsome, intelligent, and very well to do stallion who would treat me with the respect and love I deserve! Oh woe is me!” Moments later she burst into a giggle fit that lasted a good minute. She pulled herself together soon after and dressed herself with her personalized saddlebags. Before she left, she reached out with her magic to pick up a trashy novella entitled “He said He Loved Me!” from between her bed and the wall. Slipping it into her side pouch, she left her room and turned right, ready to start her day. Megan, who was standing not far down the hallway and to the left of the door, rubbed her hand over her chin. “Sheesh...AJ’s brother certainly gets around.” * * * Twilight sat next to Hawk on one of the couches of the new communications room of the Bureau, reading away the afternoon. The unicorn had some reservations about the alterations the human and his friend had made to the room at first, but with all the various radios and scientific doodads, she had gotten over it. The incoming message light on one of the various gizmos blinked to life and a beeping noise overrode the soft jazz music that had been playing. “Not even operational a whole day and we already got a call,” grunted Hawk as he got up from his end of the couch. Twilight, who sat on the other end, lifted her head looking extremely concerned. “Please Hawk, this could be serious.” Hawk smiled at the unicorn, “Am I not serious enough for you? If you want I could act like Barnes and scowl all the time.” After saying this he scrunched up his face in mock anger and pointed at it, “See? This is my serious face.” Twilight gave him an unimpressed look and rolled her eyes while Hawk chuckled to himself and activated the Comm-Screen. The human President appeared on it, standing in the oval office looking somewhat disheveled. Next to his desk was the ever glorious Princess Celestia resting on her haunches. Hawk put his hands on his hips and smiled, “Damn Joe. TV makes you look fat.” President Joseph sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “You’re lucky I can’t suspend you Hawk.” “I know.” Twilight jumped off the couch and walked up next to Hawk and waved a hoof at the television screen. “Hello mister President, and good morning Princess!” The Princess gave a tiny hoof wave back and a serene little smile. Joseph also gave the unicorn a friendly grin as he continued, “Hello Miss Twilight. Anyway, Hawk. A situation has come up in California that requires your team’s immediate attention. As you’ve probably heard from recent news reports, the city of New Foalsome is having problems with...” Hawk interrupted with a cough, “Sir, California is Six Tribes’ territory. They have rangers that are supposed to handle this.” Joseph shot him a tired look, “They can’t handle this agent Hawk. The Six Tribes have enough resources to police their cities and towns, but not nearly enough to combat two organized terrorist groups from waging war on each other.” Hawk cocked an eyebrow, “Two? I thought the HLF was the only radical group we had to deal with.” It was then that Celestia spoke, “Indeed they were Agent Hawk, but recently…” her face became downcast and her tone worried, “…I’m saddened to say there is now a second hate fueled group named, PER.” “Excuse me Princess,” said Twilight as she stepped forward, “but what is PER? I’m not up to date on human outlaws.” The Princess grew visibly upset as she spoke her next words, “PER, or ‘Ponification for Earth’s Rebirth,’ is not made up of humans Twilight. Its ranks are filled with those that have been ponified and seek to eliminate humanity from the face of the planet, by any means necessary.” Twilight and Hawk both stood dumbfounded. “But Princess!” stammered Twilight, unable to compute what her mentor had just said, “No pony, Equestrian or otherwise would ever want that! They couldn’t! Our magic removes impurities of both body and mind!” Twilight looked at her mentor, hoping this was just one of the goddess’s famous jokes. “Oh yes they could,” stated Hawk. His eyes were darting back and forth as he sorted through his memory, “If they had a ponification potion that didn’t take all the bad out of them.” Twilight’s eyes widened in disbelief as she gazed at Hawk, a dark thought dawning in her mind. “The potion I made for Cottonmouth…” Horrible memories she thought she had long since buried away erupted from her subconscious with the force of a tidal wave. Hawk nodded, “Apparently we missed some of it.” His face began to contort, this time in very genuine anger. President Joseph cleared his throat and moved to the center of the screen. “Although the how’s and why’s of PER’s genesis need to be answered and dealt with, that is not your mission. It seems that the two gangs have found a certain carrot to chase after, a one Mr. John Norris and his son, Azure Wind.” The odd looks from Twilight and Hawk did not go unnoticed by the President, but he continued on with the briefing. He assumed they would be smart enough to put two and two together. “It is our belief,” he continued, “that both organizations are after his fortune, which Mr. Norris keeps somewhere in the confines of his home. If either faction gets their hands on that money, they’ll have enough funds to do whatever they want, and I’m sure they aren’t planning in donating to charity. You two have to make sure no harm comes to Mr. Norris or his son, and keep the fortune out of the hands, or hooves, of the malefactors. Clear?” “Yes,” said Twilight with a nod. “Aye sir,” replied Hawk with a salute, “I’ll inform Barnes to ready the chopper for long dis-” Joseph raised his hand to silence him, “The helicopter is far too slow Agent Hawk. I have authorized the use of the Odin. It should arrive within the hour.” Hawk’s eyes narrowed, and his voice suddenly had a subtly nervous shake to it, “Ah…the experimental ship. I hope Barnes can fly that one.” “Captain Barnes can fly anything Hawk,” the President assured him. “And I’ll get Rarity and Fluttershy ready,” added Twilight, earning her odd looks from her peers. After clearing her throat, she continued, “I was just thinking that we might be able to attempt a diplomatic resolution, however unlikely. I mean, PER might not be one hundred percent ponified, but maybe they’ll at least listen to a little reason?” The young mare gazed into the face of her divine mentor for approval. Celestia’s face eventually spread into a sincere smile that beamed at her student. “I think that is worth a try my dear pupil, and I hope for the sakes of everyone that it pays off.” Bubbles of pure joy welled up within Twilight. She was so glad the Princess liked her idea that she didn’t notice the stupid grin that was now covering her face. “Well then my faithful student,” said Celestia, giggling somewhat at Twilight’s expression, “I bid you and Agent Hawk farewell.” Twilight gave the most respectful bow she could, saying “Thank you, your highness.” Hawk simply tipped his hat to the elegant equine. Princess Celestia gave one last shining smile to both of them, and spoke with words that sounded like they were dipped in honey, “Do be sure to watch each other’s flanks out there.” She shot Hawk a quick wink before the screen cut to black. Twilight looked at the human agent with a raised eyebrow, “What was with that wink?” “Hell if I know,” Hawk responded as he made his way to the door, “I’m going to go get ready before things start getting awkward.” Twilight sauntered next to him and asked, “Mind helping me find Fluttershy and Rarity? They’ve probably finished their morning rounds by now, so there’s no telling where they could be.” Her face then became somewhat embarrassed and she quietly added, “That, and I don’t want to tell Rarity her tea party is canceled by myself.” Hawk looked at the unicorn, whose large, pleading eyes were focused intently on him. He let loose a heavy sigh, “Sure Twilight, but only because you’re cute.” Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she looked away sheepishly, “Thanks.” * * * Rarity had finished her morning conversions and had the rest of today off, and it being almost eleven thirty, she thought now would be an excellent time to see if the elusive Samantha Barnes would be attending her ‘Get-to-know-each-other Tea Party.’ Unfortunately, Barnes was busy doing maintenance on her heli-thingy in a vacant section of the Bureau’s parking lot, and the unicorn so hated to interrupt somepony when they were working. Deciding that busy humans were best left unmolested, she turned back towards the entrance of the Bureau. “Is there something you want Ms. Rarity?” came the woman’s cold and unfeeling voice. Turning back to face the human, Rarity saw Barnes looking back at her. Her posture was stiff and rigid, and there were grease and oil stains all over her face and jumpsuit. Swallowing down her urge to give the poor girl a makeover on the spot, Rarity pranced towards the woman and put on her most lovely smile. “Good morning Ms. Barnes, I wa-” “Captain.” Blushing slightly at her faux pas, Rarity continued, “Yes of course darling, my apologies. Well, Captain Barnes, I was just wondering if you had given any thought to attending the tea party that I would be hosting later today? I would so love it if you decided to join us!” The captain’s face was like stone, and showed no sign of emotion in the slightest. Rarity had no idea what the woman was thinking behind those well shaded aviator sunglasses of hers, a fact that made the unicorn feel oddly uncomfortable. After a few unbearably awkward seconds, Barnes simply said, “No. Busy with maintenance.” “Well drat,” replied Rarity giving the asphalt a dainty little stomp with a hoof. Though she was secretly overjoyed that the uncomfortable silence had ended, that was not the answer she was hoping for. “Oh well, I suppose I’ll just have to save you some tea and croissants. Ta-ta for now darling, I do hope we see more of eachoth-” There was a sudden boom from above them as an aircraft appeared out of nowhere. It was long, sleek, and even from its distance from her, Rarity could tell it looked very dangerous. The ship hovered there for a time before is started to slowly descend. “What in the world is that?” asked the unicorn to the woman. Barnes responded to the pony mechanically, “It is the SR-72, a larger and more up to date version of the SR-71 Blackbird, under the code name ‘Odin.’ It has been retrofitted with Fusion Foil engines which allow for hovering capabilities as well as vertical take-off and descent. It is also equipped with the only Teleportation Matrix in existence, and can travel anywhere in the world instantaneously. Only known drawback is power consumption, limiting the ship’s ability to teleport to twice per every twenty-four hours.” Rarity stared at the woman, utterly lost in what she had just heard. Barnes looked at the unicorn and added, “It is also fashionably colored in a deep navy blue.” Finally, after sorting through the parts she could understand, the unicorn said, “So it’s a plane…” “Correct.” “…that teleports?” “Correct.” Satisfied that she understood the basic concept, Rarity gave a refreshed sigh and smiled brightly at Barnes while giving the woman’s left hand a quick little pat, “Well that is all very interesting darling, but I must be off! I have a tea party to host after all! Are you sure you can’t make it?” Barnes’ left hand started twitching slightly, yet the woman paid it no mind and replied “Very sure. Duty calls.” Pointing behind the unicorn with her right hand, she added, “As do your friends.” Spinning around, Rarity saw Twilight, Fluttershy, and Agent Hawk beckoning to her. Judging from Twilight’s apologetic face, the glamorous unicorn could only assume her friends had come to tell her some unfortunate news about the tea party. “Oh horse-feathers.” * * * “I still don’t see why you’re forcing Fluttershy to go.” “Rarity, you and I both know that she is a lot braver than a lot of ponies give her credit for,” replied Twilight as she magically lifted a box of ponification potion into the cabin of the Odin. Rarity walked by Twilight and rolled her eyes as she climbed into one of the four chairs of the cockpit of the sleek human ship. “Yes I know darling, but she is also very sensitive. I’m just worried that these ruffians of...who were they again?” “PER,” stated Twilight as she placed the box of potion next to Rarity’s seat. “Right, well I’m just afraid that these PER ponies, or Celestia forbid, those brutes of the HLF get a hold of her.” Rarity looked around her seat for the safety straps that usually came with these kinds of chairs. Unable to find them, she sighed and continued, “I mean honestly Twilight, she could get hurt, or worse.” Twilight walked next to her friend and gave as comforting a smile as she could, “Believe me Rarity, going on personal experience alone, I can attest that you and Fluttershy will be just fine under the care of the human agents. If anything bad happens, Hawk will be there to save you.” The white unicorn returned her friends smile with a worried look, “I hope you’re right darling.” Barnes walked into the cabin carrying a large black duffel bag that clacked and clanked with its no doubt deadly contents. She placed it onto the co-pilot’s seat before taking her position as main pilot. Moments later Hawk entered with Fluttershy in tow, the pegasus’ eyes darting around the interior of the ship. With a nod to Twilight, Hawk took the co-pilot’s seat from the duffel bag and began flipping switches. Twilight cast an encouraging smile at her friends and said, “Okay girls, looks like it’s time for you two to go! Is everypony clear on what they’re supposed to do?” “We’re going to help some humans and new-foals learn how to be nice to each other!” chimed Fluttershy as she floated into her seat. It was a simple analysis of the task, but Twilight accepted it. “Right! Now, Hawk and Barnes will be there to protect you if you get into trouble, so just stick close to them and you’ll both be fine.” Her friends nodded in acknowledgement. “Good, and Hawk…” said the purple unicorn to the man, “Try to come back in one piece.” “No promises about me,” called Hawk from the front, “but I’ll keep your friends safe.” He turned in his seat and grinned at Twilight, “You have my word.” Satisfied with his reply, Twilight gave a final nod to her friends and gingerly exited the large dark blue ship. After the purple unicorn was clear, Barnes flipped a switch that made the entrance ramp close and seal the cabin. After she deftly punched in more commands, the woman announced, “Beginning ascension to eight hundred feet, charging up Teleportation Drive.” “Um…E-excuse me for asking, but...um…aren’t we supposed to be strapped down to something?” squeaked Fluttershy, “Oh right!” exclaimed Hawk, “Hold on just a second while I find the button…Ah! Here we go!” He pushed a glowing yellow button on his control panel. Straps shot out of the back of each of their chairs, which buckled themselves over the chests of the passengers. The ponies were forced into a sitting position that would have been much more comfortable if they were humans. “It’s a bit snug,” stated Rarity as she struggled to get even a small bit of comfort. “I’ll modify the seats for pony use later,” stated Barnes in her usual mechanical fashion. The ship kept rising into the air smoothly, climbing high above the streets and rooftops. The ponies gasped as they looked out the cockpit windows as the entire city of Manhattan stretched out before them. Pegasi could be seen flying playfully around in the afternoon sky, while thousands of ponies made the streets of city into marvelous rivers of rainbow colored dots. It made Rarity yearn to have wings again, but more importantly it gave the unicorn a new idea for a summer gown. Barnes pressed a button and announced, “Teleport Drive is charged, activating.” The exterior of the ship began to shimmer and glisten with waves of energy. Ripples of bright light danced across the surface of the vessel until the entire aircraft glowed with a wondrous pinkish light that began to expand into a sphere around it. With a brilliant flash, the ship was gone from the city. * * * Meanwhile, more than two-thousand miles away, a loud boom echoed throughout the morning sky above the city of New Foalsome. It was nine AM, and John Norris did not like being woken up that early by explosions. Hell he just didn’t like explosions in general. He sat up in his bed and looked around his dark room. Nothing seemed to be on fire, nor where there any alarms blaring. No immediate problems meant he could roll over and go back to sleep, which he did. Or would have if the door to his room hadn’t burst open and a small blue pegasus leapt onto his bed yelling, “Dad! Dad! Did you hear that?” The small colt bounded to the window to the window and poked his head through the heavy curtains, allowing a small stream of sunlight to stream into the room. “Woooow!” said the pegasus, “Dad, you have got to see this! I think it’s a spaceship!” John only curled into a tight ball and hissed, “The light! Turn off the light!” Azure rolled his eyes. “Seriously Dad, it’s an honest to Celestia spaceship!” insisted the young pegasus. The aging man relented and emerged from the warmth of his bed with all the excitement of a bear in winter. “There had better be one hell of a spaceship out there Azure. Just saying.” John slowly opened the curtains where his son was peeking his head through, and had to resist the urge to shout ‘It burns!’ as he was showered with morning daylight. After he was able to stop squinting, he saw what appeared to be a large jet plane hovering off in the distance. “Holy shit. It’s a spaceship.” His son beamed up at him, “Told you so.” John cast a quick glance at Azure, “Don’t get so excited kid. It freaks me out.” He rubbed his chin as he gazed on the sleek looking ship that appeared to be coming towards his building. Hoping that whoever was driving the aircraft wasn’t interested in him, he turned away from the window and walked towards the kitchen, “Come on Azure, I’ll cook us up some pancakes.” * * * “And just like that, we’re in New Foalsome!” stated Hawk proudly, “Barnes, which building belongs to our friend Mr. Norris?” She pointed at a large glass building that was a city block or so away from them, “The sky scraper at twelve o’clock. There is no landing pad but it appears that there is substantial enough roof space for us to land on.” Hawk shrugged, “Take us in captain, and avoid hitting any pegasi while you’re at it.” “Or birds!” Fluttershy called from her seat. Barnes flipped a few switches and tightened her grip on the steering yoke, “I will see what I can do.” With her left hand on the steering device, she placed her right hand on the throttle and pushed it forward ever so slightly. The aircraft slowly began moving forward as the rear engines glowed with the sparks of life. Moving at a cautious and almost leisurely pace, the Odin hovered through the air towards the modern day tower. It deviated from its path only to avoid any curious pegasi or flocks of birds that happened to fly too close. Within the minute, the dark ship loomed over the roof of their destination. The ship gingerly descended onto the roof and touched down with a mild thud. “Alright, let’s go get acquainted with the locals,” said Hawk as he flipped a switch and picked up his black duffel bag. The entrance ramp to the ship lowered and hit the roof of the building with a solid ‘clang!’ The man tipped his hat to Rarity and Fluttershy as he walked out onto the roof, “Come on my wee horses, time’s a-wasting.” Rarity and Fluttershy nearly jumped at the chance to exit the craft. Once outside, they gazed at the city that lay before them. It was similar to the Manhattan, but it did not have as many tall buildings. It certainly had a great deal more pegasi though. As Barnes exited the Odin, Fluttershy daintily trotted up to her with a pleasant smile and said, “Thank you for taking the time to not hurt any birds Missus B-” “Fluttershy darling,” chimed Rarity “she prefers being called Captain!” The unicorn gave her friend a pleasant smile as she turned followed Hawk towards the rooftop entrance of the building. “O-oh…umm well then, umm…” the pegasus looked into the mirrored shades of Barnes’ sunglasses that eternally covered the woman’s eyes, nervous panic quickly starting to rise inside of her. “W-well, Captain Barnes, thank you f-for not hitting any birds, i-it really means a lot to me…” The timid pony lowered her head and looked away, internally berating herself for being such a bother. Barnes glanced up and saw that Hawk and Rarity had disappeared into the staircase entrance of the building. She knelt down and put her left hand behind Fluttershy’s ear and smiled warmly at the pegasus. In a calm and motherly tone she soothingly whispered to the winged pony, “It wasn’t any bother Fluttershy, really. If anything, I enjoyed the extra little challenge. Now go on and catch up with the others, I have to run a little maintenance on the ship and it’ll take me a minute or two.” Fluttershy gave a relieved smile at the woman, “O-Okay! Thank you!” She fluttered away from the woman and into the dark staircase that led into the tall building. As soon as the yellow pony was gone, Barnes shook her head as her warm expression was replaced with her usual grim one. She brought the hand that had touched Fluttershy up to her face and looked at it. The hand had started to shake and twitch violently. For a brief second, her emotionless face flashed with concern, “Not good.” * * * John was just about to enter the bathroom when he heard a sound that he absolutely dreaded come from the door to his home. ‘Knock-knock!’ “DAD! There’s somepony at the door!” called Azure from his room. The man rubbed his eyes and called back, “Tell them that no one’s home and to go away!” He already had one foot in the threshold of bathroom and there was no turning back now. ‘knock-knock-knock-knock!’ Azure appeared at the door to the bathroom and said rather flatly, “I don’t think anypony would ever fall for that Dad, especially when they probably heard you yelling.” John spun around, “Then just tell them to go away! And close the door!” John shooed the young blue pegasus out and closed the door himself. He approached the porcelain throne and prepared for sweet relief. There was a very loud crash from the front door as it was kicked in. John zipped up and dashed out into the living room, where he saw a man in a wide brim hat and duster carrying a black duffel bag, standing in the doorway. He was flanked by two ponies, one was a white unicorn that had an immaculate purple mane, and the other a yellow pegasus with a long pink mane. Apparently both of the ponies were as surprised as John and his son were. “H-hello!” said the yellow one, “I’m really really sorry about the…um…door…and um…” Azure galloped behind his father’s legs and the man could feel the small colt shivering against his legs. “Dad…” he whispered, “i-is it the HLF?” The man in the hat walked over the remains of the door and in a reassuring tone stated, “No my boy, we are not with the HLF, nor are we with PER, an organization your father is no doubt familiar with. The lovely mares behind me are from Princess Celestia’s very own Elite Guard sent here to protect you.” Azure’s ears perked up at the name of his deity, “C-Celestia?” He peeked out from behind his father’s legs looking somewhat unconvinced, “If you work for Celestia, where’s your fancy armor? The royal guard on the TV wore fancy gold armor.” The two ponies took positions next to the man. The yellow pegasus smiled at the young colt and spoke gently, “Oh we don’t wear armor. Only the regular royal guards wear armor. We’re the elite guard, which means that…um…” she suddenly looked very worriedly over at the unicorn, “uh…Rarity…w-what does that mean?” Rarity scanned her mind for an excuse. Celestia never actually told them what benefits being in the Elite Guard offered, and the unicorn was beginning to think that her highness had just made the organization up so they could have a fancy sounding title to throw around. “…uh well, my dear Fluttershy…um…What it means darling is that we are so good at our jobs that we don’t need armor. Yes, that’s what it means.” She rolled her eyes away from the human next to her as she said, “Though I’m still willing to design uniforms for the benefit for our…less fashionable team members.” The man in the hat’s face gained a flat expression, “No.” “Oh come on Hawk! You know they’d be absolutely fabulous!” she exclaimed a tad irked, “I was THE top designer of Equestria before moving to human lands, there is nothing to worry about!” “I think they’d look lovely Rarity,” cooed Fluttershy. The unicorn smiled at her friend, “Thank you darling. See Hawk? Fluttershy thinks it would be a great idea! Please let me at least design you a better coat? Please? Please please please please?” Hawk rolled his eyes and faced the glamorous pony, “Okay, tell you what. I’ll ask the rest of my team about it, and you can talk to Twilight. After that we’ll see.” “Oh thank you thank you thank you! It’s been forever since I’ve done professional work and I have just had so many ideas that I-” John cleared his throat and gained the attention of everyone in the room. “Okay, you’re obviously not with HLF or PER, but I refuse to believe you guys are agents for that Princess of yours. Now will you all please leave? I have to order a new door. Preferably one made of iron.” Hawk walked over to the man and presented him with a badge from one of his pockets. “Sorry Mr. Norris, but PER and the HLF are coming after you, and the president has put me and my team in charge of making sure you and your son don’t end up dead.” John scrutinized the badge, noting that it did look very official. Azure meanwhile, was looking up at the strange human with the hat and coat, taking one tentative step after another towards him. The young colt had seen very few humans in his lifetime, and curiosity was getting the better of him. “Excuse me mister,” asked the blue pegasus, “but how’re you going to protect me and my dad?” Hawk smiled at the young pony, “Well, if Lady Rarity and Miss Fluttershy’s words don’t keep the bad guys away, then my bullets will.” * * * The phone rang just as Barnes and Hawk finished replacing the door onto its hinges. Barnes had entered with the box of ponification potion some time after the team’s initial introduction to John and Azure, looking somewhat...uneasy. Fluttershy had inquired if there was something wrong, but Barnes had been distant and cold with her response, and generally avoided speaking to either the pegasus or Rarity. She had instead spent her time with Hawk, mostly doing gun maintenance and working to fix the door to a respectable degree. John picked up his phone, avoiding the large pile of guns that had been laid out over his floor. “Hello, this is Norris.” “Hello Mr. Norris, this is Sweetie Pop at reception. I have a man here who says he has a delivery for you.” “Thank you, uh…Ms. Pop, could you hold on a sec?” John beckoned Hawk over to him, “Agent Hawk! Some human guy downstairs says he has a package for me, but I never ordered anything and Azure’s Wonderbolt pin-ups don’t come for another week.” Hawk gave him an odd look, “You let your son have pin-ups?” “He already had a subscription when I got him, so you can blame his dead mother if you want. Now what do I so about this?” he replied, shaking the phone slightly. The human agent shifted a bit uncomfortably at that last remark but responded, “It might be the HLF setting up a trap.” “No shit,” stated John flatly. Hawk put his hand to his chin for a moment, pondering something before he asked, “Have you ever actually met the receptionist?” John glanced away for a brief moment, “No…I don’t really get out much…” “Good!” exclaimed Hawk, “I’ll go down as you, kill any HLF that try and start anything, and come back here when they’re all dead.” He walked over to the section of carpet where he had laid out his various weapons and selected two sticks of dynamite from the pile. Next, he moved to Azure’s room, where the two mares had been keeping the young colt busy and well away from the deadly contents of Hawk’s duffel bag. Peeking in, the human agent found himself on the threshold of a very odd situation. Rarity was humming as she brushed the mane of the small blue pegasus, while Fluttershy made pleasant conversation with him. Azure himself seemed quite keen on not looking away from the timid yellow pegasus, though his eyes did not show any interest in what she was saying. He simply stared dreamily at her, lost in one particular feature or another. No one seemed to notice the human agent slip into the room. Fluttershy continued on with whatever story she was telling, “-and then the cute little baby bunnies hopped all over my bed! Oh it was so cute that I almost fainted!” “Uh-huh,” replied Azure blissfully looking at Fluttershy. Rarity interrupted his dream like state with a prod from her hoof, “Azure darling, how would you like your mane styled?” Hawk took this chance to spoil the moment, before things got too awkward for him. “That will have to wait Rarity. You and I are going down to the lobby to pick up a package, so let’s get going.” “But…” started Rarity a brokenhearted tone. Finally noticing the pinups around Azure’s room were of stallions, Hawk quickly added, “Now Rarity.” “Fine,” she huffed getting off the colt’s bed, “Is Barnes coming?” “No,” replied the man as he moved out of the room, “Barnes will remain here and keep Mr. Norris and his son safe.” He walked to the front door with Rarity in tow, and together they slid the door open. “Good luck,” called John as they left. Turning to Barnes, who had begun placing Hawk’s munitions back into his duffel bag, he asked “So, want something to drink? I got some beers that I’ve been meaning to get through.” Her reply was cold, yet in some strange way, friendly. “I prefer tea, but I’ll take whatever you have.” * * * The elevator door opened up to the expansive lobby. Hawk gave a small whistle at the sheer opulence of main entrance. Polished marble floor, an arched ceiling that was high enough to allow a pegasus some flying room, thick pillars lining the walls that separated the elevators, and even a sizable fountain in the center of the room. The solid marble reception desk was on the wall opposite the entrance, which itself was little more than a massive window with a couple of rotating doors that looked out into the street. The room was literally teeming with a multitude of various colored ponies, all of whom wore some sign of wealth. There was human in a delivery outfit at the reception desk who seemed to be in the middle of a heated conversation with the receptionist. “Oh my stars…” breathed Rarity, “I could get used to living here.” Hawk rolled his eyes and moved towards the reception desk, “I’m sure you’d fit right in, the ponies who live here tend to be a tad snobbish.” She gave him a look that could kill, to which he responded by shooting the unicorn a friendly smile over his shoulder. Sighing out her frustration at the man, Rarity followed after him. She debated with herself about what Twilight saw in him. The peach colored earth pony with a strawberry colored mane saw Hawk coming towards the desk and waved him over a bit too eagerly. “Mr. Norris?” she inquired with a hopeful expression. “That I am Ms. Sweetie Pop,” replied Hawk with confidence, “and I’m here for my package.” The short, pudgy, and almost certainly sleazy looking delivery man tapped Hawk on the shoulder with a clipboard, “About god-damn time you got here. Just sign the dotted line and you can get your shit.” Hawk furrowed his brow and took the clipboard and scanned it for details about where it was sent from. “So,” continued the post-man, “What’s with that get up? You some kind of fucking cowboy enthusiast or some shit like that?” He began backing up towards the fountain. Hawk looked up from his reading and glared at the man, and was about to say some very stern words about swearing in public. His focus soon shifted to the right as he saw an oncoming van that was accelerating towards the glass wall of the entrance. “Rarity, get behind the desk.” Rarity, who had been admiring the décor of the lobby, snapped back to reality and shot Hawk a curious stare, “What? I’m sorry darling, but my mind was miles away.” Hawk dropped the clipboard and drew his revolver, eliciting screams and mad scrambles from the crowd in the room. “Get behind the desk NOW!” he yelled as he rolled over the marble desk and took cover behind it. Rarity glanced around and saw the van. She quickly joined Hawk and the receptionist behind their piece of cover, shortly joined by three other ponies. The van smashed through the glass entrance of the lobby sending ponies running every which way in panic, and even managed to hit two unfortunate unicorns. The crowd of ponies crammed themselves into the elevators and out towards the back. Humans in black ski masks and kevlar vests filed out of the back of the van, each one carrying an automatic rifle. The driver leaned out the door and called, “Damnation! Little bastards sure do clear out of a room fast!” “Newman!” shouted one of the masked men, “Where’s Norris?” Behind the desk, Hawk put a finger to his lips before removing a long red stick with a fuse from somewhere within his coat. “Anyone got a lighter?” he whispered. Rarity’s eyes went wide as she silently hissed, “What are you doing with dynamite?! I thought that we were supposed to be using diplomacy!” The postman stopped cowering behind the fountain and walked up to the man who spoke, “You assholes are nuts you know that? That freak of nature you got in the back of that van is probably all riled up thanks to that stunt!” The receptionist pony nudged Hawk’s shoulder with her snout and pointed to the hotel’s brand of complementary matches on the desk’s top above. “This is diplomacy,” Hawk replied to the unicorn with a grin, “just a great deal more explosive.” The masked man pointed his gun at Mr. Newman, “We don’t have time for your bullshit Newman! Now where is he?” Rarity relented, knowing that diplomacy with the HLF was probably a lost cause anyway. She reached out with her magic and levitated a pack of magic down to Hawk. “I could be having a tea party right now. I just want you to know that.” Hawk gave the unicorn an apologetic look while he lit the fuse of the dynamite, “I’ll make it up to you. Promise.” Newman eyed the gun barrel in his face, sweat forming all over his face, “Behind the desk, I think he’s got a gun though.” A lit stick of dynamite sailed out from behind the reception desk and landed in front of the HLF’s van. The eyes of the HLF soldiers went wide while Davey Newman ran past the reception desk. The leader tried to yell, “EVERYONE RUN!” but was cut off by a very loud explosion that consumed almost a full quarter of the lobby. * * * John was in the middle of watching cartoons with Azure and Fluttershy while Barnes sat a ways off, every so often glancing at her hand. There was a panicked knock at John’s door followed by a familiar voice shouting “OH-MY-GOD-JOHN, THERE-ARE-HLF-IN-THE-LOBBY-LET-US-IN!” Barnes sprang into action immediately as she drew a glock from her hip’s holster and approached the door. Once in position, she then gestured for John to say something. The man said the first thing that came to mind, “Who’s there?” “WHAT-DO-YOU-MEAN-WHO’S-THERE?! IT’S-BREEZY-FIELDS AND-ABOUT-A-DOZEN-PANIKING-PONIES, NOW-OPEN-THE-DAMN-DOOR!” The man nodded to Barnes to open the door. Responding with a nod of her own, she holstered her gun and slid open the door. A bright green earth pony toppled inside, a look of genuine relief on his face. “Thank-Celestia!” said the earth pony quickly, “I-thought-those-madmen-would-have-killed-me-for-sure!” He gazed up around the room, finally noticing the soft expression of Fluttershy, and the cold glare of Barnes. “Entertaining company John?” he asked at length. John walked over to the frightened pony, “They’re from the government, now Joseph-” “Breezy Fields!” shouted the green pony. “Whatever! You said the HLF is in the lobby right now?” Breezy Fields nodded, “Yes! Me-and-these-guys-all-ran-up-here-to-get-away-from-them!” John looked down the hallway that led to his room, seeing a small crowd of ponies all staring at him. The odd thing was that none of them looked even half as panicked as Joseph did. When one of them smiled, John could only say, “Aw horseshit.” * * * Hawk and Rarity peeked over the lip of the desk and surveyed the damage. The van was toppled over and on fire, the fountain was beyond repair and spraying water all over the floor, and there was a great deal of small debris scatted around the once elegant lobby. The bodies of the HLF members were strewn all over the place, some more intact than others. Rarity ducked back down and put a hoof over her mouth, “I’m going to throw up.” Hawk put a hand on her shoulders, “It’s alright. The bodies take some getting used to, even for humans.” “No, not that,” the unicorn said quickly, “the lobby. It’s such a mess.” The man gave her a rather odd look that was a mix of bemusement and shock. There was a clang of metal hitting ground from the direction of the van’s wreckage. Hawk peeked over the desk again, just in time to see a large, hairy…something…skitter behind one of the pillars. Hawk readied his revolver. “Help…” came the weak voice from the destruction, “…help…me…” From his position, Hawk saw that it was the man who had been driving the van. It was somewhat miraculous that he had lived, or in one piece for that matter. Rarity’s ears perked up upon hearing the moaning. She peered around the corner and spotted the wounded human. Her face scrunched up at the sight of the man’s wounds, and in an instant she decided she was going to go save him. Before anyone noticed, the glamorous unicorn had already trotted out from behind the desk and was making her way past the small bits of rubble that lay around the floor towards the hapless individual. The wounded man spotted the unicorn and he began crawling towards her. His face was awash with terror and pain, but his eyes looked at the approaching pony like she was an angel. “Please…help me…” There was a sudden yank on Rarity’s backside as Hawk pulled her tail all the way back behind the reception desk. “Agent Hawk!” she cried, “What in the name of Celestia are you doing!?” “Wait,” he replied, not taking his eyes off the walls. The wounded HLF member reached out with an arm, and seemed to be on the verge of death. “Please…” he said. She scowled hard at Hawk, “You sick monster! He might be with those jackals of the HLF, but that doesn’t mean we should just watch him die! By Celest-” Hawk grabbed her head and turned it to face the right hand wall and pointed at a certain pillar, “Look before you leap.” As he said this, the other ponies cowering behind the desk peeked out from behind it. Sure enough, much to their accumulated horror, there were large and spindly legs slowly stretching out from behind the pillar. Before long, eight grotesquely large eyes crested out from behind the stonework, each one the size of a dinner plate. It moved with a deliberate slowness around the column, as if it were still deciding who to attack first. “By the Moon and Sun,” breathed Rarity, quite sure she had just entered a nightmare, “What is that…that thing?” Hawk leveled his revolver at the creature, “Guessing by just the color and markings? I’d say it’s a wolf spider that’s the size of a horse.” “…Help…” groaned the man, oblivious to the creeping death that was silently making its way down the wall towards him. “Do something!” cried Sweetie Pop. “Rarity,” said Hawk, “get ready to pull that man to safety.” Barely hearing his words past the horrid scene unfolding before her, she nodded. Focusing on a spell that was meant for moving wounded ponies and animals, her body grew tense as she waited for the moment to act. The abomination reached the floor as silent as a whisper, and raised its forelegs towards the wounded man. Hawk squeezed the trigger of his revolver, sending a bullet directly into one of the oversized spider’s eyes. The monstrous spider let loose a terrible shriek of pain before it skittered back behind the pillar with unnerving speed. Rarity never knew spiders could shriek, and she could have happily gone through her entire life not knowing that. She released her spell around the badly wounded member of the HLF and gently glided him close to her. The spider crawled onto the ceiling, allowing Hawk to take two more shots. Both of the bullets connected with the beast’s sternum, but didn’t do any damage. “Aw hell. That thing is bullet proof,” said the agent as he refilled the chambers of his revolver. “What do you mean, ‘bullet-proof?!’” screamed Rarity as she prepared a healing spell, “You just shot it and it screeched!” She lowered her head and swept it over the broken and bleeding body of the HLF survivor. Small shimmering waves of multicolored light fell over the man like a blanket and eventually wrapped around him like a cocoon. “There,” she said in a panicky sort of huff, “Now you won’t be bleeding all over the place.” The spider started crawling sideways towards the space above the reception desk. “Apparently its only weak spot are the eyes,” Hawk produced another stick of dynamite from his coat with his free hand, “Either that or I need try something more original.” * * * A veritable hurricane came from the hallway as the PER ponies cast their spells, throwing everything and everyone in the apartment all over the place. Fluttershy had covered Azure with her body before the gust of wind sent her and the young colt flying into a wall. John, Barnes, and Breezy all had the misfortune of sailing all the way across the room and into the television that hung on the wall, their bodies falling out of sight behind the now upturned couch. That’s when they all entered. There were seven of them: four unicorns, three pegasi. The lead one was a unicorn, a purple mare with white mane and snowflake marking. Flanking her were two other vicious looking unicorns, both stallions. The purple one put on a smug grin as she talked, “John Norris, it certainly is a pleasure to meet you. I’ve really been looking forward to it,” she started walking to the upturned couch with a confidence in her step, “I’ve always wondered what it felt like to look down on an inferior species.” Rounding the couch with her two goons, her pompous smile widened when she saw the unconscious forms of John and Breezy, “And now I know.” The unicorn goon to her right did some hasty math in his head, “Hey boss, weren’t there thr-” The lead unicorn cut him off with a swish from her tail, “Not now Black Root, mommy is talking.” Fluttershy was on the ground not far away, and began to come to as the other four ponies swept into the room. She had taken most of the impact from the wall, and as a result was still a bit dazed. “Azure?” she whimpered looking at the small blue pegasus entwined in her legs, “are you okay?” The colt looked up and shook his head, clearing him of his dazed state. After a moment he had righted himself and scrunched up his face in anger. “DAD!” he shouted as he squirmed out of Fluttershy’s grasp, “GET AWAY FROM MY DADDY!” “Azure no!”Fluttershy yelped after him, but the small blue pegasus was already dashing across the floor to his father’s side. The purple unicorn looked down curiously, “Ah, and what have we here?” A cruel grin appeared on her face, “Why you must be little Azure!” The horn of her left hoof goon glowed to life, raising Azure into the air. “Just who I wanted to see next!” “GET AWAY FROM HIM!” screamed the small blue pegasus in the purple mare’s face. “Not one for conversation I take it?” she sneered at the colt. Turning to the unicorn on her right she gave another smug smile, “Black Root, go find a pillow case or something to throw him in while we wait for Norris to wake up.” The black and gold unicorn nodded and trotted off with the still screaming Azure, “WHEN I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU, YOU’RE GONNA BE SORRY!” His screams trailed off as Black Root carried him off into a bedroom, where much hollering could be heard before becoming muffled. The stallion emerged with a writhing sack suspended by a magic grip. “Now about you,” said the purple mare as she trotted over the still recovering Fluttershy, “Who might you be?” Fluttershy took a quick look around the room, ‘Where was Barnes?! Where did she go?’ Seeing no sign of the human agent anywhere in the apartment, she knew she would have to stand up to these bullies herself. With considerable effort, she stood up straight and gazed harshly into the eyes of the unicorn mare, “My name is Fluttershy of Ponyville, and how dare you do such awful things to these people! I heard that we would meet bad ponies on this trip, but this is far beyond ‘bad!’ T-this is just plain mean! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!” The seven ponies of PER all stood dumbfounded for a few moments before bursting into riotous laughter. The purple mare was able to stop long enough to move her head in close to Fluttershy’s, a calm smile crossing her lips. “Well isn’t this wonderful! An honest to God Equestrian in our midst! I, Bitter Frost, am honored to meet you.” Fluttershy glanced about unsure of what to do. She had just used her stern voice, but it didn’t seem to convince them. Maybe asking nicely would work? The timid pegasus lowered her head and gave Bitter Frost the most caring stare she could give, “It’s just that…um, well you see the potion you drank to become ponies was made wrong, so you aren’t really a hundred percent ponified.” Raising her head ever so slightly she added, “But me and my friends brought the right potions that you all can drink! All you have to do is drink up and you won’t have to hurt anypony anymore!” Frost stepped back a few paces and gave a thoughtful look at Fluttershy. A wicked smile crossed her lips, “Is that so? Well then, it seems that before we leave, we will have to give Mr. John Norris the divine gift of ponification!” She turned to her henchponies, “Come on lads, tie them up and wake up the human! We have bits to take and a blessing to bestow!” The horns of the four unicorns of PER glowed to life as the unicorns themselves cackled madly. Magic ropes formed around Fluttershy, John, and Breezy and wound around all three tightly. The sudden constriction of the ropes tripped the pegasus and she fell flat onto her side. She frantically looked around, hoping desperately to see somepony, anypony that could do something. That’s when she saw Barnes standing at the entrance of the apartment, completely unnoticed by the guffawing members of PER as she leveled her gun. * * * Sweetie Pop’s constant screaming was very distracting, and it was causing Rarity some difficultly healing the rather extensive wounds of the HLF member. Of course she couldn’t blame Sweetie Pop. There had just been a van full of armed madmen roll through the front window, gunshots, and explosions. Oh and a giant spider abomination was trying to kill them too. “I could have been doing fashion shows in Canterlot right now, or eating sweets at one of Pinkie’s parties!” shouted the unicorn as she worked hard and fast to heal the wounds of HLF member. She felt like her energy was spent, but all she had to do was cast one more spell before the wounded man would be healed enough to live. Hawk fired three shots at the abomination, each one connecting with thick chitin and dinging off harmlessly. “Come on ugly!” shouted the agent as he reloaded, “Get close to me! I dare you!” ‘What in Equestria does Twilight see in him?’ Rarity thought as she prepared the last spell she would likely be able to cast for some time. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused. Soon her horn glowed with magic, and crimson sparkles shot out from her horn’s tip. The sparkling little lights drifted down onto the wounded HLF member’s chest and sank into it, leaving behind faintly glowing spots where they entered. After the spots faded completely, Rarity looked at Hawk and in an exhausted voice said, “Alright, I finished healing him! Let’s get out of here befo-” The spider crawled along the roof of the lobby, darting left and right as Hawk shot two more rounds at it with his revolver before quickly reloading. It suddenly leapt down at the man, its midsection slamming onto the marble desk and it lunged out at him with its two enormous front legs, pinning the Hawk’s shoulders to the wall. If Sweetie Pop’s screaming was loud before, now it could shatter glass. Hawk responded to the arachnid’s pin by angling his pinned gun arm at the monster’s large mirrored eyes and unloading every shot he had left in the gun. The six bullets struck the giant spider in its two forward most eyes, and sent the abominable creature reeling in agony. Unfortunately the beast did not release the pressure on Hawk, and the man still found himself unable to move. “A little help please?!” called Hawk as he tried to squirm out from under the spider’s legs. His eyes went wide as the huge fangs of the giant spider clicked and clacked in front of him, literally dripping with either drool or horribly deadly venom. Rarity hopped up onto the desk and gave the beast a swift buck to the side, “Take that you horrible monster!” The spider didn’t even register the little white unicorn. It continued to press its two forward most forelegs onto Hawk’s shoulders while its other six legs began easing it closer to its meal. The man redoubled his efforts of trying to break free as the dripping fangs of death came closer. The unicorn continued to strike at the monster with her rear hooves, but still was having no effect whatsoever. Rarity decided that, seeing as how her kicks were doing no good, she would take some time to catch her breath. She stepped away from the monstrosity and rethought her plan of attack. “Rarity!” called Hawk, “I wouldn’t mind if you, I dunno, shot it with a magic arrow or something!” The spider lunged forward with its fangs going straight for the man’s rib cage. Rarity’s heart skipped a beat. A single thought flashed through her mind, ‘No! If he dies, then poor Twilight will be single forever!’ Through either sheer luck or phenomenal skill, Hawk freed his shoulders from the pin and raised his hands while dropping his gun and the dynamite in the process. He grabbed the giant fangs before they could stab into his chest, and holding back the dripping fangs with all of his might, he could only grunt, “Any time now!” “I don’t have any magic like that!” Rarity responded in a distraught tone. She was still recovering from almost seeing her friend’s alleged human lover die. “Then stab it!” “With what?! It’s not like I carry knives!” The spider bore down harder on Hawk, and the pressure from it trying to get its fangs into the human was pushing the agent up the wall. “Use your horn!” shouted Hawk, his feet swinging an inch or two off the ground. “B-but…” Rarity was going to argue her mane getting ruined or icky, but a quick look from Hawk stifled the urge. There wasn’t space on the desk to get a good charge going, so Rarity tried for one last spell. It was something Twilight had told her about back in their time in Ponyville, a spell that would increase one’s physical abilities for a very short time. Rarity lowered her head and concentrated, her horn giving the faintest of lights. Hawk gave the spider a swift kick to its belly as a sign of defiance, “RARITY!” The spell went off and Rarity could feel her muscles growing as adrenaline pumped through her veins. She opened her eyes and looked over her now large and muscular body. “By Celestia, this must be what Macintosh feel like!” Her eyes narrowed on the large horrible creature that sat squirming on the desk, “Now foul beast, you shall feel the mighty wrath of Rarity the unicorn!” She lowered her head and charged at the monstrous arachnid. Her now ridiculously powerful legs shattered the marble desk as they kicked off and instead of simply running at the creature, Rarity was propelled through the air by the sheer force of her steps. Like a magnificent white arrow, the glorious unicorn sailed into the side of the giant spider horn first, piecing the chitin shell and sending both pony and creature hurtling off the desk and into the far wall. The spider screeched and flailed it horrendously long legs about wildly as sickly green ichor poured from its side. Hawk, now free of imminent death, took up the stick of dynamite and lit it. Vaulting over the ruined desk, he spotted a curly purple tail amidst the scrambling mass of legs and green slime. With the fuse of the dynamite burning, Hawk ran towards the pony-impaled spider and yanked on the purple tail while simultaneously throwing the little red stick into the open wound. Scooping up the somewhat dazed unicorn, he then ran as fast as he could back behind the reception desk, where the other few ponies looked on in awe and horror. The explosion sent spider bits and greenish goop everywhere. * * * Fluttershy shut her eyes tight as the PER ponies’ laughter was suddenly interrupted by several loud bangs. A warm liquid splashed over her face, and the laughter was replaced by shouting and yelling and more gun shots. The timid pegasus just kept her eyes closed and thought of her home in Ponyville. “No! Please don’t kill me! PLEASE!” she heard the voice of Black Root plead, “Look! I surrender okay?” “Drop the colt,” replied the cold voice of Barnes. There was a thud and small “oomf!” as the sack hit the floor. The magic ropes that bound her faded and the yellow pegasus began to open her eyes, barely seeing a purple mound in front of her before Barnes called, “Keep your eyes closed Fluttershy.” The pegasus immediately complied. The woman called out again, “Azure Wind, are you alright?” “Y-yes,” replied the sack. “See? The little guy is fine! You can arrest me now!” spoke Black Root, his words filled with terror. Barnes approached the unicorn, and Fluttershy heard a sudden crack followed by a dull thud. The pegasus began crying, as she heard the woman’s footsteps approach her. A soft hand touched her cheek and a soothing voice met her ears, “Fluttershy? Are you hurt?” “N-no…” responded the pegasus between sniffles. The hand rubbed the side of Fluttershy’s neck. “Thank goodness,” Barnes sighed in relief. “Oh my, you’ve got some of Bitter Frost all over you. Let me clean you up a bit, just keep your eyes closed okay?” “Okay,” She replied meekly. The calmness of how the woman said that last line made Fluttershy feel incredibly uncomfortable. Barnes left for a bit and after some sounds from the kitchen she soon returned. The mare felt a warm wash cloth being wiped across her face as Barnes hummed a rather chipper tune. After a few moments of this Barnes gave another sigh and said, “There, all cleaned up.” Fluttershy began to open her eyes ever so slightly, “C-can I open my eyes now?” “And can I please get out of this sack?” added Azure. Barnes quickly put her hand over the mare’s eyes, “Not yet. The apartment is an absolute mess and…” The hand covering Fluttershy’s eyes began twitching and shaking, “…J-just keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them.” Fluttershy once again shut her eyes tight and waited, trying to ignore the sounds of heavy things being dragged around the room. * * * “I am never ever doing that again. Ever.” “I don’t know,” said Hawk as he peeled a piece of dried spider goo off Rarity’s neck, “I think it was totally cool how you went all buff and stuff.” Rarity shot him an exhausted glare, “Oh yes. Because having the physique of a stallion bodybuilder is very befitting of a lady of leisure such as myself.” Hawk shrugged as he peeled off more crispy goo, “You know, if the whole ‘I’m covered with spider guts’ thing really bugs you so much, I’m pretty sure there’s a bath in Mr. Norris’s apartment.” “Oh no, I am not going into somepony’s home dragging…” She gestured to her new lime green coating which covered her from horn to tail, “…this in behind me.” To their right came a small cough from the receptionist Sweetie Pop, “Excuse me, Mister…Hawk was it?” “Yes ma’am, what can I do for you?” replied the man, plucking a big piece of the dried ichor from the unicorn’s mane. “Listen, I’m really grateful and everything, and so are these two,” she gestured to the two other ponies beside her, “but…well I’m kinda wondering who’s going to pay for all these damages?” Hawk and Rarity glanced at each other and then raised their heads above what was left of the reception desk. The front large windowed entrance was completely shattered, the magnificent fountain at the center of the room was broken and spraying water all over the floor, there was a large and heavily damaged van tipped over on its side not far from the fountain, not far from the van was a small crater, there were bits of spider coating just about everything, and the reception desk was nothing but rubble. Not to mention the various bodies of the HLF strewn about the room. Bringing their heads back down with faces of mild shock, Rarity turned to look at Hawk with disbelief. “You absolutely wreaked the entire lobby…How could you wreak the entire lobby?” The human simply shrugged, “You get into all sorts of mischief with explosives.” He then cocked an eyebrow and added, “And you’re taking these dead bodies lying around way better than I thought you would.” “Please Agent Hawk, I am a part time medical mare. Do give me some credit.” “Ahem,” Sweetie Pop interrupted again, “Sorry to interrupt again, but my job might hinge on who’s paying for this, so…?” Hawk turned to Sweetie Pop and said in a calm and confident manner, “We work for Princess Celestia, so send her the bill.” “Hawk!” Rarity chided, “We can’t bill the Princess! It’s so…rude!” “Do you want to pay for it, oh generous one?” responded the man. Thinking hard for a brief moment, Rarity came to a conclusion. She gave Sweetie Pop a gentle smile and said, “Well with all the new bits coming from the new-foals, the Princess can probably afford it.” Looking at Hawk she added, “Besides, I’m sure we can make it up to the Princess with a nice party with lots of fabulous gifts.” Hawk patted the unicorn on the back and gave her a big smile as he rose to his feet, “That’s my kind of thinking Miss Lady Rarity. Now let’s get back to the apartment so we can get you washed up.” “Let us indeed!” replied Rarity as she shakily stood as well. She was exhausted from using so much magic, and a bath was just what she needed most. “Onwards to the elevator!” Hawk and Rarity gingerly stalked through the ruined lobby, avoiding the somewhat smoking bodies of the HLF, towards the nearest elevator. Hawk pushed the ‘up’ button and the elevator doors dinged open. Stepping inside, Hawk gave the three ponies that had remained in the lobby a tip of his hat while Rarity delivered them a very graceful bow. The elevator dinged again and the two of them disappeared behind the sliding doors. As Sweetie Pop watched the doors close, she came to a realization. The HLF member was still lying unconscious on the floor next to her. “Wait! What do I do with this guy?!” she called out after them, but she knew they couldn’t hear her. She returned to the spot she usually stood during her shift and sat on her haunches sighing heavily, “This day sucks.” * * * Barnes was waiting for them outside the apartment’s door as stiff and unyielding as a statue. Upon seeing Hawk and Rarity approaching, she quickly called out, “Agent Hawk, you and Mr. Norris’s presence has been requested by the New Foalsome Police Department in regards to today’s attacks.” “Ah great,” lamented Hawk, “paper work.” “Indeed,” replied Barnes as she opened the door and entered. A few moments later, a very groggy John Norris walked out, partially supported by a painfully green earth pony. They both seemed rather beat up, and John in particular looked like he had a swell bump on his head. “You assholes owe me a new TV,” stated John as he attempted to point at Hawk, “and new carpets.” “No need to be so crass Mr. Norris,” Rarity soothingly spoke to him, “Every financial detail will be taken care of, don’t you fret.” She leaned her head a bit closer, “However, if you need somepony to redecorate, I am always available.” John was about to say something before Barnes reemerged, leading a black unicorn stallion with a yellow mane, out of the apartment. “This is an agent of PER. I have left him alive for questioning by the police.” “I’ll keep my eye on him then,” said Hawk as he drew his revolver and pointed it at the black unicorn. “Come on then Mr. Norris, let’s not keep the police waiting,” said Hawk as he rolled his eyes, “Just like Six-Tribes to show up after I kill the giant spider.” “Giant spider?!” yelled both John and his pony support. Hawk just shrugged and walked on down the hallway, followed closely by the other man and the green earth pony. Once they were out of earshot, Barnes turned to Rarity and asked in her usual emotionless tone, “Rarity, would you like to join Ms. Fluttershy and Azure Wind on the roof with me? We have a table set up and waiting for you.” “What?” asked the unicorn more tired than confused. “It is currently quarter till noon, and I believe you are owed a tea party,” replied the woman, with only the faintest of smiles on the corners of her mouth. Rarity looked herself over, “But I’m just so…well filthy, and I…” Barnes placed her left hand onto the unicorn’s head. “Rarity,” she said in a voice as warm as daylight, “Fluttershy is having a tough time dealing with what happened during the PER attack, and I think she needs a friend right now more than she needs tea.” Rarity looked into the reflective shades of the woman’s aviator sunglasses and saw herself. Her mane was in worse shape than she thought, and most of her coat was still caked with the spider’s ichor. Sighing, she smiled at Barnes and said, “Well then I guess I’ll just take a bath afterwards. Nothing like a nice herbal spa treatment after a good cup of tea I always say!” She trotted down the hallway, noticing that Barnes hesitated to follow her. Turning she called, “Coming Captain Barnes?” “I’m still waiting for the tea,” she replied warmly with her hands behind her back, “You go on, I’ll be there in no time.” Rarity gave another prize winning smile, “Suit yourself darling. I shall eagerly await your arrival.” She continued to trot down the hallway and out of sight. Barnes looked at her left arm as it twitched and spasmed, her expression grim. Black veins could be seen beneath the skin. “You shouldn’t be touching them Barnes,” she whispered to herself in her cold voice, “It’s not good for our health.” The End of Episode 3 About God Damn Time I mean really, holy shit Anyway, Episode 4 coming… …well I don’t know yet because I’m really bad with dates * * * Yellowstone: The Series By: Anonsi (It’s like he doesn’t know how to write!) Episode: 4 Dead Beat ____________________________________________________________________________ For ages, Equestria has existed separate from the rest of the world, protected by a magical barrier that prevented it from being seen, touched, or reached by humans and their machines. But five years ago, the ponies of Equestria landed on the shores of human lands claiming to be there to save the earth and humanity from pollution, hate, and greed. To do this, the top human scientists and pony magicians created a potion to turn humans into ponies in places called, Conversion Bureaus. Within two years of its release, more than half the total human populace on Earth has converted. The balance of the world has been forever altered, as the remaining human nations form new governments for those humans that remain. After foiling the attempts of both the HLF and PER in New Foalsome, the human agents under the command of Agent Hawk and the Elements of Harmony led by Twilight Sparkle are recuperating at the Manhattan Conversion Bureau. With the addition of the ‘Odin,’ a powerful aircraft that is mysteriously capable of teleportation, the two teams are now capable of battling the various monstrosities born of wild magic all over the world. ____________________________________________________________________________ “DJ Pon-3?” asked the delivery pegasus as he stuck his head into the sound room. The white unicorn with spiky blue hair did not turn to face her new visitor. “Offstage you can just call me Vinyl Scratch bro, how can I help?” she replied, her head moving in rhythm with the music playing from her soundboard The pegasus presented a large tan folder and a clipboard to the DJ, “This came in the mail for you, and I need your signature.” The unicorn looked up from her soundboard and smiled, “Aw jamming! Must be some music for my world tour.” She levitated a pen from a nearby coffee mug and scribbled the letters “VS” on the delivery pony’s clipboard, “There’s your autograph hot stuff.” The pony smiled weakly and handed the unicorn her package before making a quick exit. The folder definitely had a record in it, though it felt heavier than the unicorn was used to. Ignoring the issue, she surveyed the package and found no return address or any clue as to where the thing came from. Only a single line of instruction across the front, “Play at midnight.” Vinyl cocked an eyebrow, “Weird. Must be from a fan.” Shaking her head, she magically removed the contents of the tan folder. It was an oddest looking record she’d ever seen. There were five gold lines criss-crossing over the disc forming star with no label at its center, and around the edges were weird looking runes. Shrugging, she hovered the record onto a nearby turntable and lifted a pair of earphones to her head, “Well let’s give it a spin.” The record began to play, and after a short time the unicorn smiled while bobbing her head to the beat. “Slammin’.” * * * Twilight was feeling rather well this evening. Not only had she gotten a good night’s sleep the previous night, but the news of her friends safe return put a little extra spring in her step. She was currently enjoying the rather comfortable couches of the communication lounge with her friends. She and the others were taking in Rarity’s, rather dramatic, retelling of the events that had occurred during the last mission. “A giant spider?” asked Applejack from her spot on the carpet, “Gosh that sounds right awful.” “Oh believe me Applejack, it was,” responded Rarity, who sat next to the orange pony, “But not nearly as awful as what I had to do to get all of its...innards...out of my mane.” Rainbow Dash tried to stifle a laugh as she rolled over onto her back, but failed to do so in a subtle fashion. Through her snickering, she was able to say, “I’m sorry Rarity, but the thought of you covered in spider guts is pretty funny.” Soon the pegasus broke out into open laughter at the mental image of the dainty unicorn covered in a sticky ichor. The laughter proved contagious as it spread to each of six ponies. The white unicorn stared daggers at the pegasus. “I assure you Rainbow Dash, that there is nothing ‘funny’ about my mane getting completely ruined!” “I don’t know, I thought it was kinda funny,” came Hawk’s voice from the doorway. The ponies all turned to face the human and offered quick greetings as the man strode into the center of them. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence Agent Hawk?” inquired Rarity, glad that the human had interrupted her friends’ laughter. Dash flew to his eye level and excitedly asked, “Do we have another mission? ‘Cause I am ready as ever to get back out there and kick some flank!” “Are we having a party?!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie as she placed her forelegs on the man’s waist. Hawk put up his hands and backed up from the onslaught of ponies, “Whoa there! Slow down a bit and let me talk.” The ponies each took a seat in front of the human and exchanged small chortles and giggles as they waited for him to speak. “Thank you ladies. Anyway, no we don’t have a mission yet. What I came to tell you is that me and the rest of my team have gotten together and we think we have found a way to streamline things as far as who goes on missions.” Twilight gave the man a hurt look, “You organized stuff without me?” “Not my fault,” Hawk shot back quickly, “You were so deep into your research you didn’t even register me telling you about the meeting earlier.” Twilight cocked an eyebrow and thought back to earlier that day. Three hours prior she had been reading a book about Fairies and Elves when someone had entered and spoke to her. Her memory was a bit foggy, but what she did remember was that whoever it was left her a daffodil sandwich and a cup of juice. ‘Hawk brought me a snack! How sweet,’ she thought as her cheeks began to blush ever so slightly. Her face went pale however, as a new thought crossed her mind, ‘And you just ignored him and ate his food without so much as saying thank you.’ “Twi? You okay?” asked Applejack, eyeing the unicorn who seemed to be losing a great deal of color from her face. “Wha-?” started Twilight as she snapped back to reality. “Yeah Twilight! You’re starting to look like Rarity!” added Pinkie Pie snorting on a laugh. “Oh could you imagine two Rarity’s? They could make dresses for each other and use each other as models and-” “And one of us could go back to my boutique in Ponyville,” stated Rarity as she gave a small, wistful sigh. There was a silence following the fashionista’s statement that hung in the air uncomfortably for a few seconds. Finally, Hawk clapped his hands together and said, “Well okey dokey, back to why I’m here. Me and the rest of my team have agreed that it would be best if one of us agents were assigned to each of you ponies, sort of like partners.” “We each get a human?!” shouted Pinkie excitedly, “Ohboyohboyohboy!” The pink earth pony leapt onto the back of the couch and began singing, “My little human, my little human, la la la LAAAAA!” Twilight quickly summoned a muzzle over Pinkie’s mouth, reducing the eccentric pink pony’s song to nothing but a series of hums. Giving a thankful smile to Twilight, Hawk went on, “Anyway, all that’s left before we make this list official is your yays or neighs.” “Well get on with it!” called Dash, “I want to know who I’m teamed up with!” Clearing his throat, Hawk began to read, “Right, so first we have Zorro and Rarity...” Rarity allowed a smile to cross her face. “Thank Celestia, I get the one who knows how to treat a lady and behave in public! Not to mention groom himself...” He ignored the offhand jab aimed at him and continued, “...Megan with Applejack and Rainbow Dash...” Dash and Applejack exchanged pleased expressions before a competitive smile crossed their faces. “...Dimitri with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy...” Pinkie made muffled shouts of joy as she bounded around the room, while Fluttershy gave a quiet little, “Whoo hoo.” “...and finally, myself and Twilight as team leaders.” Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash all exchanged subtle and knowing nods. Twilight however, furrowed her brow as she stated, “Wait a second Agent Hawk, I think you left someone off your list. What about Captain Barnes?” The man gave her a flat look, “She said that she did not think any of you would want to be her partner, and promptly left the meeting to go do maintenance on the Odin.” “Well that doesn’t make a single iota of sense,” said Rarity, “Any of us would simply love to be partnered with her.” “Yeah!” exclaimed Fluttershy as she jumped to her hooves. When she noticed her outburst gained the attention of everyone in the room, she quickly lowered her head and quietly continued, “I-I mean...I wouldn’t mind being her partner. I know that I can be a bit of a hoof-full sometimes, and I don’t want to over burden Dimitri with both Pinkie and myself. I wouldn’t mind being partnered with Captain Barnes. If that’s alright with you I mean. ” Hawk cocked a rather suspicious eyebrow, “I’ll ask her about it.” As the man turned to leave, the incoming transmission alarm began to blare from the large television screen that covered the wall of the lounge. Swearing under his breath, Hawk rushed over to it and pressed a few buttons. He moved to stand in the center of the screen’s view, quickly joined by Twilight and the other ponies. The screen came to life with the glorious form of Princess Celestia standing in the center of the White House’s oval office. “Hello my dear little ponies,” began Celestia as she gave a radiant smile, “and a fine hello to you as well Agent Hawk.” Twilight and her friends all bowed their heads while Hawk simply tipped his hat. “G’morning Princess, might I ask where Joe is?” The alicorn looked to the side a bit as she continued, “President Joseph is in the other room and will be along shortly.” A mischievous smirk crossed her divine features, “Of course I wanted to learn how to use this machine, so I decided to call you all and have a little chat before he gets here.” The goddess’s gentle eyes looked at each of their faces, “So my little ones, how have you all been fairing? With Spike serving my sister instead of Twilight, I fear that I have been unable to keep up with you all as much as I’d like.” Twilight lept at the chance to speak first, “We’re all doing fine my Princess, Hawk and the other humans are keeping us all safe and sound. We’re all becoming really close.” Celestia beamed at the news. “That is good to hear my student. I am glad you and your friends are getting along so well with your guardians. To be completely honest, I was becoming worried that you all would be uncomfortable living with human soldiers.” A quiet voice came from somewhere off screen to Celestia’s left that drew her gaze. Pouting slightly, she returned her soft eyes to Twilight and her friends. “Well I suppose we’ll have to talk later. President Joseph is ready to give you your assignment.” The aged face of President Joseph moved into view of the screen. Hawk pulled himself away from the couch and stood, offering a salute to the commander and chief. Returning the salute lazily, the President said, “Hello there agents, I have some good news for those of you going on the mission today.” Dash nudged Applejack, “Hear that? Now we’re ‘Agents!’ How cool is that?” The orange pony just rolled her eyes and gazed up at the human on the screen. “What’s the news Joe?” asked Hawk putting his hands on his hips. The President pressed a button from somewhere off screen that showed the overhead map of some city. “This is Paris, France. The site of your next mission.” Rarity’s eyes grew wide as saucers. “We detected a spike of magical energy in the city three hours ago, the odd thing was that the readings disappeared almost immediately. Princess Celestia believes these are signs of a recently awakened artifact.” “Recently awakened?” inquired Twilight. The President glanced at the Princess, who nodded for the President to continue. Sighing, Joseph said, “Celestia believes that someone tried to activate the artifact’s magic, but whoever it was didn’t meet the special requirements these things apparently have from time to time. As such, the artifact has ‘awoken’ and is now absorbing any ambient magic it can in order to feed itself until its requirements are met. All we know right now is that the energy spike came from the night club ‘L'Insomnie,’ which also happens to be hosting an all night party. A party being DJ’d by one Vinyl Scratch, otherwise known as DJ PON-3.” A picture of a large and trendy night club with many neon lights adorning its entrance appeared on the screen, accompanied by a photograph of a white unicorn with spiky blue hair and very large sunglasses. “EE noo er!” mumbled Pinkie Pie through her muzzle. “Oh my goodness, Pinkie’s still muzzled!” Twilight flushed from embarrassment as she quickly undid her spell. “Sorry Pinkie.” “Not a problem Twilight!” responded the pink pony pleasantly, “Wany-hoo, all I said was that we know Vinyl! She comes from Ponyville, just like us!” “Then I guess getting into the club won’t be a problem,” continued Joseph, “because whatever this artifact is, it needs to be quarantined immediately. There’s no telling what mischief it could cause. As such, seeing as how we want the least amount of collateral damage,” he added with a stern glance to Hawk, “I am sending agents Megan and Zorro on this mission.” Hawk placed his hands on his hips and grinned widely, “About time Zorro got off his duff.” Joseph moved behind his desk in the oval office and glared daggers at the human agent, “And I do not want to hear from Megan or Zorro that you smuggled any high explosives into their supplies Agent Hawk.” Hawk responded with a frown, “Well that’s just no fun at all Joe.” Upon seeing the President’s intensifying glare, the man rolled his eyes and huffed, “Aye aye sir. No high explosives.” “Good luck Agents,” said the President as Celestia gave a quick wave of her hoof to Twilight. The screen blinked off and the six ponies instantly began talking amongst themselves. Rarity was smiling from ear to ear and kept repeating, “I’m going to Paris!” as she galloped out of the room and down into the hallway. “I’M GOING TO PARIS!” By the time the alabaster unicorn had gotten to the end of the hallway, Twilight, Hawk, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie had filtered out of the lounge and moved towards the lobby, while Applejack and Rainbow Dash were in the middle of a discussion. “Ah’m tellin’ ya Rainbow, ah can’t go! Ah gotta help Fluttershy take care of her animals,” stated the farm pony with a sigh. “Ugh, but Rarity will probably try and get us all to go shopping or something. I won’t have anypony to talk to!” The orange pony placed a hoof on Dash’s shoulder and gave a comforting look, “Ya’ll have Megan won’t ‘cha? She’s a right fine person ta talk to. ‘Sides, you’ll be at a party! It’ll be full of fun stuff to do!” “I do like fun stuff,” replied the blue pegasus as a confident smile spread across her face. “There’s the Rainbow Dash ah know, now go on and show those ponies over there how us Equestrian fillies dance!” shouted Applejack. “HELL YEAH!” Dash and Applejack bumped their front hooves together, and with an air of confidence the pegasus flew out the open window in a blur. * * * The streets of Paris gave a collective shout of surprise as a large boom echoed throughout the night sky. The Odin’s engines roared as the ship soared over the city in search of a place to land. Finding a suitable spot in the very large and exquisite garden outside the Louvre, the mighty ship touched down and its occupants disembarked. Rarity was the first one out and her eyes went wide at the sight of the glimmering city. The sparkling lights of the buildings that danced over the surface of the river, the beautiful architecture of the ancient buildings, and the magnificent spire in the distance that rose above the streets and illuminated the sky caused the unicorn to become absolutely giddy. Her heart was beating faster every passing second as her excitement built up more and more, “Oh Celestia, it’s more wonderful than I imagined it’d be! The brochures don’t do it justice at all!” Zorro descended the platform after the unicorn, sporting his usual loose black shirt, black fencing gloves, form fitting black pants with stylish black boots, and an elegant sword at his hip. Following him was Megan, who had a large briefcase in one hand and an old Winchester repeater in the other. Next to the blond woman walked Rainbow Dash who stared around at the scenery with a bored expression. “It doesn’t look so great to me,” said the pegasus flatly. Zorro flashed Dash a quick smile, “Do not be so quick to judge pequeña, The City of Lights holds many exciting little nooks and crannies. You just need to know where to look.” “Don’t you dare take them to one of your hangouts Z,” Megan chided as she strapped her Winchester into a holster on her back. “One of the few times I am in Paris I am denied a little bit of romance. Truly you have a cruel heart,” the man pouted. Megan replied by gently punching him in the ribs as she walked over to Dash, who was yawning out her boredom. “Hey there Rainbow,” said the woman kneeling down to match Dash’s eye level, “You ready for this?” The pegasus’s expression brightened considerably, “Are you kiddin’? I was born ready! Just tell me what to do and The Dash will get it done in a flash!” The humans and Rarity began snickering slightly, much to Dash’s confusion. “‘The Dash will get it done in a flash,’ huh?” quoted the woman. Rainbow Dash sat on her haunches and glared at her companions, “Yeah, what about it? I thought if I was going to be a superhero, I might as well make up a catchphrase or something. I mean at least it’s original.” “Sure thing sugar cube,” said Megan patting Dash on the head, “Well if ‘The Dash’ could do us the honor of getting to the club and letting them know we’re coming, maybe we can take out this artifact before it hurts anyone.” “Right! I’ll be there in ten seconds flat!” shouted the pegasus as she leapt into the air and shot off like a bullet. Rarity trotted over to the humans, “Not that I doubt Rainbow Dash’s speed or ability or anything, but does she even know where the club is?” * * * A roofless jeep carrying two humans and a white unicorn rolled down the street and parked outside the lively dance club. Ponies of every sort and color were lined up outside and awaiting entry to the trendy hot spot of night life. As the three exited the vehicle, they noticed a certain rainbow colored pegasus arguing with a the bouncer pony. Rarity rolled her eyes and summoned a compact mirror with her horn. “Well it seems Dash is still a savant at making new friends,” she said dryly. Making some final adjustments to her main she dispelled the mirror and began walking towards the bouncer, “Come on darlings, let’s go introduce ourselves before Rainbow challenges the poor boy to a race.” Megan and Zorro exchanged bemused glances as they followed the mare up to where Rainbow Dash and the bouncer were arguing. As they grew closer they could make out their yelling through the heavy beats of the music that came from within the club. “-at are you even saying?! You’re a pony! Can’t you speak Equestrian?! Listen, I AM RAINBOW DASH. I am part of the ELITE EQUESTRIAN GUARD!” screamed the blue pegasus. “Vous n'êtes pas sur la liste que vous stupide, sortir d'ici!” replied the bouncer. She was rapidly losing her cool, “Did you just call me stupid?! OH IT IS ON! How about a race you piece of-” “Rainbow Dash!” shouted Rarity. The pegasus spun her head to face her friend, looking extremely frustrated. “Thank Celestia you’re here Rarity. This guy is talking smack and I don’t think I can hold back from giving him a buck to his face for much longer!” Rarity sighed and shook her head, “My dear girl, gaining entry to a party that you weren’t invited to takes gentle persuasion, not brute force.” She gave a mischievous smirk to Dash as she passed her. Turning to the bouncer, the sultry unicorn gave the large brown stallion her best pout. “Please excuse my friend sir, I’m afraid she has terrible manners. I am Lady Rarity, and my companions and I really need to get into this fine establishment. I would just be ever so grateful if you let us pass.” The bouncer blushed at the the elegant unicorn’s pleading eyes and sorrowfully pouting lip. He stepped aside and bowed his head, “Soyez mon invité madame.” Rarity gave a dainty bow of her head to the bouncer and entered the building, followed closely by Rainbow Dash, who made sure to stick her tongue out at him as she passed. As Megan and Zorro moved to enter, the bouncer blocked their path with a hoof saying, “Excusez-moi Monsieur et Mademoiselle, mais vous n'êtes pas autorisé à apporter des armes ici. Ou n'importe où je pense.” He glanced between the two of them, worry beginning to enter his features. “Nous sommes sur une mission de sécurité nationale. Restez en dehors de notre chemin,” replied Megan as she moved past the bouncer. Zorro followed behind her and offered a shrug to the guard, “She certainly has a way with words doesn’t she?” * * * The interior of the the club was beyond loud. The pounding techno beats reverberated in the bodies of everyone present, and the bright neon lights and assorted glow sticks of the party goers were a stark contrast to the otherwise dark atmosphere. The dancing forms of ponies in various rave attire covered the dance floor and surrounded the DJ booth, which sat at the center of the multicolored mob. It was not unlike a gazebo adorned with long glowing rods, and inside the metallic structure sat a white unicorn with large purple glasses and a frizzled blue mane. Rarity, Zorro, Rainbow Dash, and Megan all stood on the balcony overlooking the dance floor, the weapons of the humans acting as an effective deterrent for curious ponies and giving the group the space they needed to think. Dash nudged Megan’s leg with a wing and shouted over the music, “What do we do now? That artifact could be anything in here right?” “Yup,” replied the woman. “So how the hay do we find it?!” Megan calmly looked at the pegasus and replied “I have no idea sugar cube.” Dash gave a frustrated groan as she turned to the other human, “How about you sword guy, you got any ideas?” Zorro broke his eyes away from the dancing mass beneath him and regarded her with a thoughtful look before saying, “Unless Lady Rarity can detect other sources of magic, then no I do not.” Their eyes looked at the unicorn who gazed right back at them slightly annoyed, “Don’t look at me! I only know spells that help with finding gems, sewing, and healing. I am sure that the last thing we need right now is for me to whip up a new gown, or change the color of your manes! Twilight is the one for whatever stunning, ‘save the day,’ spell you want.” Megan’s face flashed with inspiration. “Actually Rarity, a change in hair color may be just what we need.” Rarity gave a confused look, “Oh darling why? You mane color is beautiful as it is.” The woman plucked four blond hairs from her head and held them out to Rarity, “Do you think you could make these glow?” “Well,” the unicorn glanced at the woman’s eager face and the four hairs she was holding and took a gulp, “given the lighting...yes I suppose I could darling, but I still don’t see where you’re going with this.” Closing her eyes, Rarity scrunched up her face in concentration as her horn glowed with a small dazzling spark. Four small rays of light shot out from the tip of her horn and began moving along the hairs in the woman’s hand, the strands changing from blond to a luminescent white as the rays moved along their length. The spell ended as the rays reached the end of the hairs, causing Rarity to gasp as if she had been holding her breath. “There you are darling, four lovely white hairs that glow. Now if you don’t mind me asking, why did you have me perform this little service?” “You’re about to find out,” said Megan as she held one strand of the enchanted hair over the edge of the balcony. A wide smile spread across her face as the far end of the hair was pulled on by some invisible force towards some spot in the churning crowd. “Okay, why is it doing that?” asked Dash bluntly. Megan gave a hair to each of her companions, “This artifact absorbs faint or weak magical energy so I thought that if we put a small enchantment on something lighter than a feather, the pull on the magic from the artifact would tug on the hairs...” “…and give us a compass that points towards what we are looking for,” finished Zorro as his own smile began to mirror Megan’s, “You clever girl.” Dash pumped a hoof into the air “Aw yeah! Now we’re in business!” The music suddenly stopped and the room went unnaturally quite as a smooth voice blared through the speakers, “THIS IS DJ PON-3 WITH YOU AS WE CONTINUE OUR EUROBEAT TOUR’S COUNTDOWN TO MIDNIGHT RIGHT HERE IN PARIS! ONLY TEN MINUTES UNTIL THE HOUR AND THE MOMENT WHERE I HIT YA’LL WITH THE BRAND NEW JAM THAT’S GUARANTEED TO KNOCK YOU DEAD!” The crowd cheered, stomped, and began dancing all the harder at the news. Zorro sighed, “Why is it there is always a time limit to these sort of things?” “Time limit, shlime limit!” said Rainbow pounding a hoof to her chest, “I’ll find that crummy old artifact before you know it, and then we can all go party!” “Sounds like a plan to me sugar cube!” added Megan as she moved towards the stairs. “Okay ladies, let’s start at the outside and work our way in, let’s go!” Zorro took a long look at the enchanted and shimmering hair in his hand before Rarity poked his leg with her hoof and looked at him with a smirk. “Is that the hair of your fair damsel Mr. Zorro?” she asked coyly while also giving a slight flutter of her eyelashes. The man clenched his hand into a fist around the hair and smiled back down at the unicorn, “No time for sad stories niña, there is a party to crash.” * * * “Come on, where are you?” grumbled Rainbow Dash as she hovered above the crowd. It was hard enough getting a reading with all the other pegasi asking her to dance and ‘accidentally’ bumping into her, but the fact that she had to scan the crowd slowly was making this an agonizing process. Any sudden movements would cause the hair to shake and wobble, and it would take a few seconds before it would right itself. That and she had to avoid standing to close to an air conditioning vent or else the breeze would ruin everything. She gave a frustrated huff and looked around for the others hoping to get some bearing on what she should do. The humans were easy enough to spot, as they towered over the only pony crowd. No doubt their search was going better than Dash’s, probably because the party goers were giving them plenty of space to do their thing. Rarity wasn’t that hard to find either, she was the mare that was surrounded by all the drooling stallions. Dash rolled her eyes and flew towards the DJ’s booth at the center of the dance floor, forgoing the search for a small break and to catch up with a familiar face. As she was making her way there, Vinyl Scratch leaned over to the microphone and declared, “ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT! HOLD ONTO YOUR FLANKS BRONIES ‘CAUSE THINGS ARE GONNA GET WILD!” The pegasus had to shake her head for a second or two to stop the ringing in her ears, “Note to self: don’t hover next to speakers during a rave.” Recomposing herself, she flew down next to Vinyl in the surprisingly large DJ booth. The unicorn DJ apparently didn’t notice her touch down, so Dash decided it would be polite to get her attention, “Hey Vinyl! What’s up?” Vinyl Scratch jumped at the sudden greeting and spun on her heels to face her surprise visitor. “WHOA WHOA WHOA! Personal boundaries there lady! This here is a private box, ex-nay on the ans f-ay, and that means you gotta boogie on outta here pronto!” Dash gave Vinyl a flat look as she replied, “Vinyl, it’s me. Rainbow Dash? We knew each other back in Ponyville?” The unicorn stayed silent for a moment as the pieces clicked into place. “Oh snap! I thought you looked familiar! I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you dude, it’s been a while since we last hung out. Anyway, how’re things jammin’ my radically rainbow friend?” “Well,” said the pegasus as she leaned in close to Vinyl, casting quick glances around the room while a boastful smile spread over her face, “I’m on a mission from Princess Celestia herself!” Scratch gasped in shock, “What? How did you end up working for the Princess? Last I heard about ‘The Best Flier in Equestria,’ was that she was teaching new-foals how to fly and pushing pencils.” “Nah, that was just a cover,” Dash lied, “Me and my friends have been doing stuff for the Princess since we got to human lands.” “Really?” asked Vinyl excitedly, “What kind of stuff?” Dash soaked up the attention like a sponge, “Oh you know, secret agent spy stuff. Totally classified. I’d have to wipe your memory if you ever found out.” The DJ just smiled and began nodding, “Slammin.” There was a deep boom from the speakers which caused both mares to jump. “Aw hay bales! Is it midnight already? Just a sec Dash, I gotta do this.” Vinyl levitated an odd looking record out from a nearby egg crate and proceeded to place it on her record player. She then hovered her microphone over to her mouth and called, “ALL RIGHT COLTS AND FILLIES, THIS IS DJ PON-3 SAYIN’ THAT IT. IS. MIDNIGHT!” The crowd erupted into cheers and stomped their hooves in anticipation for what they knew was coming. “YEAH LET ME HEAR IT BRONIES! I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN WAITING ALL NIGHT TO HEAR THIS, AND LET ME TELL YA GUYS, IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!” The crowd’s cheering grew louder than before, and the building shook from their applause. Dash felt a slight tug from the enchanted hair. Her brow furrowed as she saw it was pointing towards Vinyl. “NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADIUE, I GIVE YOU THE RECORD WITH NO NAME!” She double checked. It wasn’t pointing at Vinyl, but instead at her side. At the record. Dash looked up in terror as the vinyl disc began to spin unable to say anything other than, “Aw shit.” * * * The record began spinning faster and faster, and with each passing second seemed to give off an ever intensifying green glow while a chilled breeze blew out from it. Megan, Zorro, and Rarity each converged on the DJ booth to see Rainbow Dash pushing Vinyl out of it with her head. The mob looked on in awe as the glow from the record became brighter and more vibrant, and some even began to cheer at the new spectacle. “Dash!” called Megan as she ran up to the pegasus, “Are you okay?!” Rainbow Dash looked at the woman’s worried face and was able to give her a smile as she said, “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” She looked back to the DJ’s booth with a serious expression, “I’d be worrying about that.” Green arcs of lightning began crackling through the air from the artifact and down into the earth. The crowd of party goers began screaming as bolts of the unnatural lightning began shooting into the mass of ponies. The panicked mob began making for every exit they saw in every way they could, nearly trampling several ponies in the process. Arcs of magical lightning continued to spring out of the artifact and showed no sign of stopping as the cold wind grew stronger. The dance floor was now more akin to a storm than what it used to be. Miraculously, it appeared all the party goers had been able to escape to the upper levels unharmed, a small handful even remaining on the balcony to watch the events that were unfolding before them with awe. “Now what?” asked Rarity as she braced herself against the increasing buffets of wind. “The record is the artifact!” Dash called over the howling air, “Maybe if we blow it up, things will go back to normal!” The pegasus looked at the humans expectantly, and upon seeing exchange worried glances asked, “Well?” “‘Well’ what?” replied Megan. Dash rolled her eyes, “What do you think I meant when I said blow it up? Didn’t you bring any bombs or anything?” Megan shrugged and gave the pegasus an apologetic look, “Sorry, but Joe said no high explosives, and I don’t think Hawk smuggled any C4 into our supplies this time!” “Not true!” called Zorro producing a small cube of the explosive putty. “It is not much, but it should get the job done!” Megan looked at the small piece of C4 with a stunned expression, which was quickly replaced with a bemused smile. “He is going to get into soooo much trouble when we get home.” Zorro gave a hearty laugh and replied, “Not if Joe doesn’t find out!” With one fluid motion he placed a detonation pin into the putty and gripped it tightly. Dash pumped a hoof into the air and shouted, “That’s what I’m talking about! Now let’s get tha-OH HORSE APPLES!” The pegasus found herself being lifted off the floor by the strong gusts of wind. “HELP!” she cried out as she began flailing with her legs. “I got ya!” Megan jumped for the blue pegasus and wrapped her arms around Dash as they both sailed a few feet through the air and tumbled to the ground. Cradling the flustered pony in her arms, Megan made sure they were both on the ground before calling out, “Zorro, Rarity! Blow that booth sky high while I get the DJ to a safe distance!” Zorro nodded as he began to carefully trudge through the screaming winds towards the DJ’s booth, Rarity following close next to him. “I really wish this wind would stop! The windswept look is out of style this month!” Rarity cried over the screaming storm. The hurricane that was the dance floor suddenly and abruptly stopped as the last arc of magical lightning sank into the dance floor. Vinyl Scratch, who had been clinging to the hand-rails of the DJ booth’s steps for dear life, adjusted her large purple glasses as she gazed around the vacant dance floor. “Do your wishes get answered often?” The glamorous unicorn smiled at the DJ as she approached her, “If they did, I’d be in my boutique with a handsome red stallion keeping me company.” Vinyl let go of the hand rail and began let go a chortle, “Sounds better than hanging around here, and if it’s all the same to you peeps, I’m going to bounce out of here before that thing starts shooting lightning everywhere again.” Megan released her hold on Rainbow Dash and gestured towards the balcony and the small crowd of onlookers, “Could you take them with you?” The DJ gave a resolute nod and galloped towards the stairs shouting, “Hey all you ponies up there, time to book it!” Soon, both the DJ and the crowd of ponies had left the building, as the human agents and remaining two ponies gathered around the DJ’s booth. “Is that it then?” asked Zorro as he produced the small cube of C4, “Just a lot of lightning?” The earth started to shake. “You just had to say something,” Megan said flatly. Giving an apologetic grin to the woman and rushed to the the stairs of the DJ’s booth, but tripped as a skeletal hand exploded from the ground and gripped his ankle, sending the cube of C4 tumbling a short distance away. All over the dance floor, more bony hands burst through the glass floor. “What the hay is going on?!” shouted Dash as bony claws erupted from the ground near her. Instinctively she flew into the air and over to where Rarity was cowering from the dirty hands that grasped at her. Megan ran through the field of emerging skeletal hands and arms towards the DJ booth calling, “If I had to guess I would say the artifact animated a helluva lot of skeletons!” Once the woman arrived at the side of the booth, she wrenched one of the over-sized glow sticks that were strapped to its side. “Zorro, you might want to switch from something slashy to something a tad more smashy!” she called as she held the glow stick above her head. The man kicked the hand that gripped his leg and easily shattered the brittle and aged bone. “Tenía que ser esqueletos!” he shouted as he got to his feet and ran for the cube of C4, “Ladies now would be a good time to get close to us! Things are about to get very interesting around here soon!” “Interesting?!” screamed Rarity as she charged through the small field of grasping hands, arriving next to Megan with not a single hair out of place. Her expression was a mix of anger and panic as she looked over to Zorro and shouted, “Are you sure you don’t mean horrifying? I know how you humans tend to confuse dying with fun so I just want to make sure!” Dash landed next to the glamorous unicorn and gave her friend a small pat on the back with her wing, “Come on Rarity, we’re about to fight skeletons in a rave party with glow sticks! How can this not be fun?” The unicorn harrumphed as she magically tore a glow stick of her own off the booth, “I can think of a dozen ways darling, and half of them involve my mane being ruined.” More of the skeletal bodies were emerging from the ground as the undead monstrosities pulled themselves out of their long buried graves. Zorro moved next to Dash with the cube of C4 in one hand and a long glow stick in the other. “Dash,” he said outstretching a hand to the pegasus, “ if you could please place this on the artifact?” “Right!” replied the pegasus eagerly as she took the small putty cube in her mouth. She lifted off and hovered into the DJ booth where the artifact now lay dormant. Most of the skeletons had fully emerged from the depths and glared at the only living things in the room with sinister green flames where their eyes should have been. The hoard of undead completely surrounded the team and now were advancing on them menacingly. “Oh and one other thing,” called the man to the pegasus, “while you’re up there, could you put on a beat we could dance to?” “I’ll see what I can do,” she replied, squishing the small cube onto the demonic looking record. Dash looked over the sound board and found the ‘Play’ button. “Aha! Here it is!” she said to herself as she pushed it. The small LED screen sparked to life and displayed, ‘NACP - HydraPulse - 2:56. PLAY >’ Heavy beats accompanied by synthesized tunes began playing in the speakers.The skeletons stopped in their tracks and looked at each other, most of them eventually shrugging and deciding now was as good as any to charge with a bone chilling scream. * * * The skeletons’ initial charge broke extremely quickly. Megan was the first to answer their charge with one of her own and was able to cleave through six of the undead horrors with one swing of her impromptu club, turning those she struck into dust and bits of ancient bone. Moving quickly, she then gripped one of the bony adversaries by its ribcage and hurled it at a thick portion of the army of the dead and sent them all tumbling to the ground. She spun on her heels and brought her glowing weapon down onto the skull of another enemy, bisecting the skeleton and reducing it to a pile of dust. Rarity and Zorro looked on in shock and awe respectively. “Me encanta esa mujer,” said the man wistfully before a skeletal fist socked him in his jaw. Zorro recovered quickly and brought his own glowing weapon to the side of the attacking skeleton’s head, shattering the skull completely and dropping the animated corpse instantly. Two more undead charged towards him with raised fists, obviously intent on beating him to death. The man smirked as he jabbed the glow stick into the rightmost skeleton’s ribcage. With some effort, he flung that skeleton into the other and sent them both into a tangled mess of bones and dust. “HEY!” called Rainbow Dash from the booth, “I set the thing! What do I do now?” “Get to the balcony!” Megan called back as she pulled a skull from its owner’s neck, “It’s the minimum safe distance!” Behind the woman, a skeleton had picked up a glow stick of its own and struck Megan in the side of the head. “Ow,” uttered the woman as the glowing rod bounced off of her head harmlessly. She turned to face the skeletal attacker, who glanced between the angered human and the glow stick it held. Megan could have sworn that it let out a disappointed sigh as she smashed it to pieces. Near the DJ booth, Rarity smacked away a skeleton’s grasping arm before lowering and hovered her glow stick in front of her in a standing position. “I’ll make a path!” she shouted as the stick began to spin, “stay close behind me!” The unicorn charged the throng of undead with an impromptu glowing lawnmower. The shattered bones and dust of those skeletons that could not get out of the way were sent flying everywhere. After bashing their way through more of the undead, the human agents quickly moved into the wake she left behind, smashing any skeletons that tried to block their path. Dash had already flown up to the balcony, and was bucking any of the undead that tried to ascend the staircase. Several skeletons on the steps noted the bones of one of their fellow undead tumbling over the side of the balcony, and after a brief glance to one another, nodded their agreement. leaping off the staircase and to the side, two of them meshed their hands together and gestured for the other to go. The third skeleton ran at the other two placing a foot into their hands and was instantly spring boarded up and over the balcony’s rails. The skeletons doing the spring board nodded to each other and began gesturing for other skeletons to be launched. The skeleton that had been vaulted moved quickly towards Rainbow Dash, who was doing all she could to stop the other undead from climbing the steps, and punted her away from the staircase. The pegasus hit the floor with a soft thud, the carpet doing little to soften the impact. Soon the balcony was flooded with the skeletal remains, who all stared at the pegasus like wolves would stare at a wounded lamb. Dash rose to her feet and flared out her wings, glaring at the fiend that had kicked her. “You did not just punt the Dash!” she bellowed at the crowd of shambling bones, “NOPONY PUNTS THE DASH!” Giving a hearty war cry, the young mare closed her eyes and charged forward into the throng of skeletons. She was surprised when, instead of running into a mass of bone, she collided with something soft. She opened her eyes to the smiling face of Megan as the woman’s arms wrapped around her and into a soft, warm, hug. “How ya doing sugar cube?” The pegasus’s wings began to extend involuntarily as her face grew a few shades more red. “You smell like Applejack,” Dash blurted out. “What?” asked Megan as she reeled her head back, her smile vanishing almost completely. Dash just stared dumbly into the woman’s blue eyes for a brief moment before her mind caught up with her. She shook her head madly and attempted to change subjects, “I-I mean...uhh...Hey Megan! How’re things, with the skeletons and the surviving?” Looking around, the pegasus saw the remains of her attackers scattered around the floor and gazed at the woman in amazement, “Did you take out all these bone brains?” With one last an amused look towards the pegasus, Megan stood up and glanced around at the dusty bones that now carpeted the balcony before replying, “Yeah. Turns out being buried for hundreds of years makes these things really fragile. I was a bit worried a first, but these guys are total push overs.” “Where are Rarity and Zorro?” Dash asked as she surveyed the carnage, “Shouldn’t they be with you?” The woman responded by pointing over her shoulder, “Oh they’re keeping busy.” Looking beyond the woman, Dash saw Rarity batting away any skeletons that were attempting to climb the staircase while Zorro destroyed any that were being vaulted over the balcony’s guard rail. Together, they both seemed to have the situation well under control with Rarity showing only small signs of exhaustion. The man Zorro on the other hand, was not even breaking a sweat as he swatted away arms, skulls, legs, and even entire skeletons as they flew over the balcony. As he decapitated another undead attacker with a wide swing, he called out to the hoard, “Come now amigos, surely you can do better! I am getting bored!” Megan rolled her eyes, “Zorro, push the button!” “But Megan, I’ve not even begun to have fun yet!” replied the man with a pout. “JUST PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON ALREADY!” screamed Rarity, eying the man with a glare that could kill if it wanted to. Zorro shrunk back and produced the trigger for the explosive from his pocket and pressed it with a satisfying ‘click.’ The resulting boom rang in the ears of everyone who still had ears, and bits of shrapnel and bone flew about the once lively dance floor. A shock wave of green energy erupted from the shattered artifact which washed over the entire club and beyond. As the wave of energy passed over the undead, whatever magic was holding the army of skeletons together left them and they all fell to inanimate pieces. As the dust settled, the four agents surveyed the damage. Rarity looked at the others and smiled, “Well now that we have gotten that out of the way, and seeing as how we are in Paris, how about a little shopping? Maybe a trip to the local spa? I’m sure there will be one open, even at this hour!” Dash immediately responded, “I’m out!” and flew out the front door and into the flashing lights of the police. “ATTENTION AMERICANS, DO NOT MOVE! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! COME WITH US QUIETLY TO THE STATION WHERE YOU WILL BE PROCESSED!” Megan and Zorro ran out followed closely by Rarity, who squinted into the bright police lights. The woman gave a quick look over the all pony police force and sighed, “Looks like we’ll have to take a rain check on that shopping Rarity. Sorry.” The unicorn glared up at the woman, “You can bet you flank on it. As soon as this is cleared up, Zorro is going to take me on a grand tour of Paris.” Megan cast an odd look at the swordsman. He shrugged, saying, “You know me Megan, I cannot resist a lady who asks my help in having a, pleasurable time.” The woman put her hand to her face and groaned loudly. The End of Episode 4 Took forever and probably sucks. This must be what it feels like to work in video games. Heeeeyooo! But seriously, I really hope the next one is better Episode 5 here we come! * * * Yellowstone the Series “Minisodes” A My Little Pony Fanfiction based off a fanfiction of another fanfiction of Blaze’s original Fanfiction: The Conversion Bureau. What a mouthful. By Anonsi (Another spin-off riding the coat-tails of Yellowstone? Why not!) Staying Tuned “Busy Bee! You turn off that television and come to dinner!” Morning Dew called from the kitchen. The yellow filly didn’t get up, but instead moaned back, “But mom! The news is about to start!” She returned her attention to the screen, brushing her unkempt mane out of her eyes. Morning Dew’s sigh was audible, even from the kitchen. “Ten minutes Busy Bee. Then you join the rest of your family at the table!” “Okay! Sheesh...” Whatever program was on previously ended, and was soon replaced by an official white and black earth pony wearing a red tie sitting at a desk with dramatic music playing in the background. Busy Bee let loose a tiny squee of excitement as she nuzzled the silver disk that hung by a red ribbon around her neck before returning her gaze to the screen. “This is Print’ n Press with your West Coast News! Tonight’s top story, Chaos in Newfoalsome!” Busy Bee gasped at the picture that appeared on the screen. It was of some fancy hotel lobby that had been completely wrecked. “This morning, at approximately eleven o’clock, members of the criminal organization known as the HLF, or Human Liberation Front, launched an attack on the home of self made multi-billionaire, John Norris...” They showed a picture of a disheveled and irritable man who had definitely not seen enough sunlight. She narrowed her eyes, “Oh, ew. He looks gross.” “...and his son, Azure Wind.” A picture of a small, timid looking blue pegasus appeared next to the man’s photo. A ‘meep’ from behind Busy Bee alerted her to the presence of her younger sister, Merry Gold. Turning to smile at her sister, Busy Bee waved to the small white and gold filly. “Come on Merry!” Her sister quickly nestled close to her and watched the continuing news, nervously smiling at the photo of the small blue pegasus. “...ut what is most shocking is that the attack was stopped by a man who allegedly works for the the mysterious human organization known only as the ‘Agency,’ and a powerful unicorn that is a member of the ‘Elite Equestrian Guard,’ which has never been reported to even exist until today...” Merry Gold and Busy Bee exchanged excited looks. Merry Gold prodded her sister’s side and asked, “Do you think it’s Miss Twilight and...” “Shh!” “Unfortunately, as is the case with such incidents, the President of the United States and Celestia herself have forbid revealing any names or pictures of the individuals in order to protect the identities of the heroic pair. However, an eyewitness account adds to the grisly scene as Sweetie Pop, the receptionist during the attack, recounts the events that took place...” The screen cut to a peach colored mare with strawberry mane sitting behind the ruins of what must have been a beautiful desk before it was destroyed. “So first, there was this extremely rude postman that said he had a package for Mr. Norris, and then a guy in one of those leather, Indiana Jones kinda hats and a coat shows up saying he’s Mr. Norris.” Busy Bee’s cheeks began to flush and her heartbeats quickened. “Then a freakin’ van drives through the front window and all these HLF goons jump out and start shooting up the place, and I’m here behind the desk praying to Celestia to not die, and this cowboy guy and unicorn mare he’s with are...like...I dunno, exchanging playful banter or something, when the cowboy guy throws some dynamite at them!” The mare waved her hooves around as she spoke, acting out the minor actions that were occurring in her story, much to the amusement of the fillies. “And then the HLF are all dead, except for this one guy the unicorn tries to save for some reason.” The mare’s face suddenly looked off into the distance as she recalled what happened next, “And then the spider came. Celestia preserve me. That thing was as big as a horse, like one of them Shire horses you look up on the internet when you...ya’know. Anyway, big spider, cowboy shoots it a lot, unicorn casts some spell that makes her into some big beefy stallion and she stabs the thing with her horn, and then the cowboy throws another stick of dynamite into the spider’s guts and then...BOOOOM!” Busy Bee and Merry Gold cheered in excitement, but quickly silenced themselves as the news reported started to speak again, “Truly fantastic stuff. In a related story, the HLF member that was spared in the attack has revealed the locations of several key stockpiles in the Mid-Western territories. Six-Tribes rangers moved qui-” “What?!” cried the fillies as the TV suddenly went dead. Looking behind them they saw the stern visage of their mother, TV remote under hoof. “Come on girls, that was your ten minutes. I won’t have you two becoming coach potatoes, because then I’d have ta’ eat ya’.” Merry Gold gasped as she quickly hopped over to Morning Dew and nuzzled her mother’s legs. “You wouldn’t really eat us if we turned into potatoes would you?” she asked, completely serious. Morning Dew nuzzled her daughter’s neck and affectionately cooed, “No my little flower, I don’t think I would. Even as potatoes you’d both be too cute to eat. Now hurry along to dinner, your father ain’t the kind to not eat food if no pony’s there to claim it.” Morning Dew and Merry Gold trotted off to the kitchen merrily, giggling about jut how cute Merry Gold would be as a potato. Busy Bee lingered behind them for a bit, and once they were out of sight, she looked at the silver medallion that hung from her neck. She lovingly eyed the image of a hawk that was carved into it. “Anytime now Bee!” called her mother. She gave the disk a quick kiss and pressed it against her chest, before sighing and joining her family. * * * Yellowstone the Series “Minisodes” A My Little Pony Fanfiction based off a fanfiction of another fanfiction of Blaze’s original Fanfiction: The Conversion Bureau. We need to go deeper! BWAAAA. By: Anonsi (Forced Inception reference? Check) Snake Charmer Thunder rumbled across the plains. Storms were becoming more frequent out in the wilds of the mid-west as of late, and Dark Star didn’t like getting caught out in the rain. What really irked him was that because of the storm, there wouldn’t get any help from his pegasus brothers for this little excursion. Except for the only one he knew who did not fear such storms of course. Another rumble of thunder encouraged him to find shelter soon. “Damn Black Root for spilling his guts to the feds. He’s a disgrace to his race for making us have to relocate in this mess.” Dark Star turned to the band of earth ponies under his command, regarding them with mild disdain as they pulled carts of supplies across the darkened flat-land. “Move faster brothers! We must find a new place to set up our operations before that storm hits!” Being a unicorn in PER came with the advantage of having a higher authority over those unfortunate to not have become a unicorn upon receiving the gift of ponification. Dark Star piously thanked Celetia and Luna for being one of the chosen elite of the race, and not some grunt earth pony or brutish foot soldier pegasus. Movement from above drew Dark Star’s attention skyward. Descending from the storm clouds was probably the only pony from the lesser breeds he respected. A pegasus with a purple coat and a black mane landed in front of him, his menacing red eyes shifted their gaze between the unicorn and small convoy of followers. “Greetings brother Storm Charger, did you see anything useful during your flight?” inquired Dark Star as he began to walk after his minions. Storm Charger walked beside him and in a crisp and official tone began, “Not far from here is an old ghost town. Looks like it’s from the eighteen hundreds so electricity is unlikely, though it should keep the supplies safe from the storm.” Dark Star nodded his approval, “Good work brother. Inform the others of the new course, and see to it that they do not get lost.” As Storm Charger bowed and prepared to take flight, Dark Star added, “And Storm Charger?” “Yes brother?” Dark Star placed a hoof on the pegasus’s shoulder, “My condolences about your sister Bitter Frost. Our new order lost a good unicorn that day.” Storm Charger shot a quick glance down at Dark Star’s hoof before returning his gaze to the unicorn, “We lost some good pegasi too, brother Dark Star.” “If all pegasi were like you Storm Charger, then that might actually mean something,” replied Dark Star as he removed his hoof from Storm Charger’s shoulder. The pegasus flew off to the head of the line without hesitation as Dark Star resumed overseeing the progress of the earth ponies and sighed. If he had been commanding the squad that went after Norris, then he and PER would be a great deal richer, instead of making their way to some shoddy ghost town. The unicorn continued to walk along the length of his meager squad until he saw a sign post. The crude writing on the aged piece of wood read, “Sweet Water. 1 mile.” * * * The town was indeed deserted as Storm Charger had said, but Dark Star quickly found evidence that proved that it had not been so recently. There were bones lining the main street, all the way to the large building at the end which could only be the mayor’s office. There were signs of battle in the saloon as well, and the back wall to the jail house was completely gone. Dark Star assumed the humans that died here were drastically out gunned judging by the small crater he found in the middle of the street. That being said, the town was far enough from any major roads and inhabited towns that they could operate undetected. Dark Star had ordered his team to set up in the mayor’s building and told Storm Charger to scour the ruins for anything useful. He was in the middle of congratulating himself on finding this new hideout when he was rudely interrupted by a loud boom of thunder. The sky had grown darker but still refused to rain, a fact Dark Star gave some thanks. He hated mud. “Sir!” called Storm Charger from the door of an old church, “We have a problem.” Dark Star didn’t like problems, especially problems that were the result of the incompetence of his subordinates. “What is it brother? Found a snake’s nest?” mocked Dark Star. Storm Charger scowled at the unicorn and continued, “I do not believe this town is as abandoned as we thought.” He stepped to the side and gestured for Dark Star to look for himself. The unicorn casually trotted up to the doorway inside, and his eyes suddenly went wide in shock. The floor was littered with bones. Simply covered with the bleached remains of humans, ponies, and an unknowable amount of animals. The meat was picked clean from every inch of every bone, and slithering amongst the remains were dozens of snakes, each one bearing a rattle at the end of its tail. Dark Star and Storm Charger stepped away from the darkened church as the pegasus continued, “It’s more than a snake pit sir. Snakes don’t hoard bodies like this. This is a lair of something far worse than a couple rattlers. I suggest we leave now before whatever lives here returns.” Dark Star weighed his options and thought of something he considered quite brilliant. “Storm Charger, my brother, this is an excellent opportunity! If those fools at the HLF were able to get their incompetent hands on a giant spider, then we should be able to ensnare whatever lurks here! We can use this obviously deadly monster in our efforts to purge the unenlightened!” Storm Charger glanced between Dark Star and the church. “What are we going to use for bait?” Dark Star grinned, “What else?” * * * Dark Star was surprised at how short he had to wait before his new weapon showed itself. The earth pony grunt he had stationed outside the church was soon replaced with a large red stain and a bloody trail leading into the building. The unicorn was impressed to say the least. None of his other subordinates had heard or seen anything, not even Storm Charger, who swore he only looked away for a few seconds. All of that was irrelevant of course, as Dark Star now had the whatever it was right where he wanted it. There was only one problem of course: Not dying. Dark Star summoned a small globe of light and sent it hovering into the dark expanse of the desecrated church. Its light barely illuminated anything, but was enough to scatter the snakes. “You four,” he commanded to four earth ponies, “Get in there and try not to get bit by anything.” His four minions did as they told and entered the poorly illuminated aisle, one of them tripping over the ribcage of something large enough to be a buffalo. Storm Charger moved in after them eyeing the second floor of the building incredulously. There were a lot of nooks and crannies in this place where someone could hide, and the shadowy atmosphere wasn’t helping matters. Dark Star entered next and was flanked by two more earth ponies, who looked absolutely terrified to be here. Dark Star simply looked confused. The blood trail ended a few feet after the doorway, and something large enough to drag the body of an earth pony couldn’t just disappear without a trace. “Fan out brothers!” called the unicorn, “Find our new weapon and restrain it!” Something did not sit right with Dark Star about this. Aside from the assorted hissing coming from the snakes, it was too quiet. As if to answer him, there was a boom of thunder from outside that startled the two ponies to his sides. He rolled his eyes, “You morons. It’s a wonder you even know how to walk you-” He was interrupted as the double doors slammed shut and reduced the light within the church to the measly sphere he had conjured. As if on cue, all the serpents that were slithering around began to shake their rattles in tandem. Dark Star and his ponies gathered around the center of the room where his light hovered weakly. “This ain’t natural!” said one of the earth ponies, “L-let’s get outta here!” “You shall stay your ground coward!” barked Dark Star, “We are not leaving until we have tamed this creature for the glory of our brotherhood!” The rattling continued to intensify. “Sir,” whispered Storm Charger, “Perhaps we should wait for a more opportune time?” Dark Star glared at the pegasus, “There is no more opportune time than this!” The snakes stopped rattling suddenly, and were replaced with what sounded like footsteps that were accompanied by a small ‘tink’ sound. Whatever it was, it was walking towards them. Dark Star stepped forward and bellowed at the shadows, “Hear me creature! I am Dark Star, a member of PER! You shall serve us in order to wipe out humanity from the face of this world!” The footsteps stopped. With only a faint grunt, the missing earth pony’s corpse flew out from the dark and collided with Dark Star. The unicorn buckled under the weight of the body and fell to the ground, suddenly finding himself surrounded by bones and snakes. A sinister voice echoed out from the inky blackness, “I don’t care much for you freaks.” Dark Star clambered up and out of the bones screaming, “SUBDUE HIM! GET HIM!” The earth ponies charged over the piles of bones and snakes at the source of the voice. Storm Charger lifted off and flew to the upper floor of the church. A single rattling sound came from the darkness as the ponies charged in. All six of them began screaming as they confronted whoever was in the shadows, only to be suddenly silenced soon after. The rattling continued. Dark Star’s horn glowed bright red as he launched a bright sphere of energy down the aisle. The sudden illumination forced him to close his eyes, but he didn’t need to see for this spell. The sphere hit the doors to the church and exploded with enough force to shake the foundations of the building. The rattling had stopped. The unicorn looked up and marveled at the results of his spell. The entire front wall was now a big smoldering hole, allowing dim light to flood into the aged building. “How unfortunate, he mused, “I seem to have accidentally incinerated him. Such a pity.” The unicorn heard rattling behind him, and upon turning around was only able to see the glimmer of a large blade coming at him before his world went black. * * * In the dim light, the pegasus could only see the man wore a poncho with a snake motif, a wide brim hat that obscured his face in shadows, and wielded a curved sword and large knife in his hands. “Impressive,” said Storm Charger from above the grisly scene. “I don’t think I’ve seen a human as deadly as you before.” The human looked up at the pegasus and scowled, the many snakes of the room began rattling their tails as he did so. “No need for hostilities,” said Storm Charger in an authoritative tone, “I have no wish to fight you myself, and I can see your skills are more than a match for anypony.” Storm Charger began to walk along the balcony, “I have a job opportunity for you. An assassination. It pays well and you can get out of this charming little...” the pegasus looked for the right word, “...shithole.” The snakes stopped their rattling. Storm Charger smiled, “I’m glad you’re interested.” The pegasus flew down into the aisle of bones and bodies and looked up at the human, “My name is Storm Charger. Serve me faithfully, and I shall do what I can to get you whatever you desire.” After a moment of complete silence, the man sheathed his blades and loomed over the pegasus. “I am Diamondback, and all I want is revenge.” * * * Yellowstone the Series “Minisodes” A My Little Pony Fanfiction based off a fanfiction of another fanfiction of Blaze’s original Fanfiction: The Conversion Bureau. So many Fanfics By Anonsi (Should be dead, but strangely is not) Last Bell The school bell clanged loudly as it sounded the beginning of class. Today more than any other, young Julie did not want to go to school. Tomorrow was the day when the places where people became ponies opened. Her parents were both so happy when the announcement was made. But Julie was not. She was trying to be happy like they were, but she just couldn’t bring herself to share in their excitement. The more her parents talked about the Conversion Bureaus, the more the young girl avoided them and buried herself into her diary. To the young girl, it was like they weren’t even her parents anymore. Before the announcement, Julie and her mother and her father would stay up late and watch old movies, or read stories to each other, or just talk about anything and everything that came to mind. But now all they did was watch the news about ponies, or read the articles in the paper about ponies, and talk about nothing except ponies. Julie adjusted her favorite, and only, bonnet and entered the school. Her classroom was on the first left after the entrance and in addition to being marked with, “Ms. Megan’s Class,” it also was plastered with the various pieces of arts and crafts she and her friends had done over the years. The girl sighed, the thought that this might be the last time she ever read the familiar words weighed on her like a ton of bricks. Taking a deep breath, Julie opened the door. The woman that looked up from her desk as the door opened and beamed a loving smile at Julie was probably the nicest person the young girl had ever met. Ms. Megan wore her golden hair in a pony tail tied up with a big red bow like she always did, and had on a gorgeous white and yellow sundress. “Good morning Julie,” she said cheerfully, “Come in and take your seat, we’re about to begin.” Julie forced a smile as she nodded and took her seat next to her very best friend Tiffany. “Hey Tiff,” she said quietly and lacking any emotion. Her friend responded in the same chipper tone she always did, “Mornin’ Julie!” Ms. Megan got up from her desk and began writing the day’s lesson on the blackboard in her beautiful handwriting. “Alright my dear students, today’s lesson is going to be about a topic that I’m sure many of your parents are talking about.” She finished writing and stepped to the side, allowing the students to read the word “Ponification.” Julie grumbled under her breath at the all too familiar word. Ms. Megan sat on the front of her desk and asked the class, “Okay kids, as most of you probably know, tomorrow the ponies will open Conversion Bureaus all along the East Coast. According to the news these Bureaus will be turning humans, like you and me, into ponies. So I thought it would be a good thing to ask all of you what you think about it.” Fourteen out of her fifteen students raised their hands immediately, some of them stretching their arms as far as they could go in the hope of being picked first. After scanning the crowd, Ms. Megan pointed at a boy in the seat next to Julie, “Jason, how about you start us off.” The boy Jason stood up and excitedly said, “I want to be a pegasus so I can fly, and not get sick or anything!” He sat back down as the rest of the class gave an assortment of giggles at his enthusiasm. “Well I guess that means you are in favor of ponification then Jason,” said Ms. Megan chuckling. “All right, who wants to talk next?” Julie kept her hand down again as the others raised theirs, and instead buried her head in her arms. Her mind began to drift off as her friends answered her teacher one after the other. She thought of the day her parents and her had a picnic under a big tree on top of a hill. She remembered the picture of that day that hung on the wall, and how she was the only one who still looked at it. “Julie?” asked Ms. Megan. The young girl raised her head quickly and sat at attention, “Yes Miss Megan?” It was somewhat difficult to ignore the slew of laughter from the other children, but Julie managed to not blush from embarrassment. Her teacher gave her a warm smile and said, “It’s your turn to tell us what you think of the ponies and these Conversion Bureaus.” Julie failed to hide her displeasure, “Can I do math problems instead?” The other students and Ms. Megan all laughed, but the teacher didn’t relent, “Sorry sugar cube, but I’m afraid not.” Sighing, Julie stood up and looked around the class, “My mom and dad are really excited about it, and they really really want to do it.” She sat back down and waited patiently for the topic to change. Ms. Megan cocked an eyebrow however, “Okay Julie, but what do you think about it?” Julie looked around the classroom, at all the eager and confused faces of her classmates. A sudden fear gripped her throat and she could only say a few small words, “I...I don’t know.” Ms. Megan’s eyes told the young girl that her teacher wasn’t going to let her off that easy. Before the woman could speak, the bell for recess rang and all the other kids practically galloped out the door. Only Julie and Ms. Megan stayed behind. Her teacher walked over to Julie and put a comforting hand on the young girl’s shoulder as she knelt down and looked into her eyes. “Is there something wrong Julie-bean?” The girl gave her teacher a forlorn look and asked, “Can I ask you a question?” “Anything,” she replied. “Do you like the ponies?” Ms. Megan thought for a moment before responding, “I can’t really decide that until I meet one in person, but from what I’ve seen of them on the TV, I would say that they’re decent enough folk.” Julie took off her bonnet and began wringing it in her hands, “Would you like me if I was a pony?” Her teacher did not hesitate to respond, “Of course I would. As long as you act like the smart little girl I’ve had the joy of teaching for three wonderful years, then I will always love you no matter what.” “Really? You wouldn’t think I’m weird?” “As long as you’re happy with who you are, I’ll be happy.” Smiling in earnest for the first time today, Julie leaned her head against Ms. Megan’s chest and let her teacher wrap her up in a big warm hug. * * * “...and that concludes today’s lesson class.” Ms. Megan sat on the front of her desk as the kids began to pack up their belongings, eagerly chatting amongst themselves. After they packed up, she clapped her hands to get their attention for some final announcements, “Now, it’s Mark’s birthday tomorrow so that means no homework...” The class gave a short cheer before letting Ms. Megan continue, “...and what else?” All as one they shouted, “A PARTY!” There was a great deal of cheering as the children got up from their seats and ran out the door. Once again Julie was the last one to get up, but unlike before, she was giving the sweetest smile she could. Walking towards the door, the young girl adjusted her backpack and bonnet before saying, “Goodbye Ms. Megan!” “Before you go Julie-bean, there’s something I want to give you,” said the woman as she dug through her desk. Finding a small note card, she scribbled something down and handed it to the young girl. “What’s this?” asked Julie. “It’s my cellphone number. If you ever need to talk or need help with anything at all, just call and I’ll be there for you.” Julie looked at the note card like it was made of gold and then back to her teacher with an expression of pure joy, “Thank you Ms. Megan!” Julie gave her teacher a quick hug before turning and leaving. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” Ms. Megan grinned from ear to ear as she watched the girl skip down the hallway, and by the time the bell that tolled the end of school rang, she had already decided what she would bake for tomorrow’s party. * * * The scent of homemade chocolate chip cookies filled Megan’s nostrils, the woman allowing herself a content sigh as she rolled her car up into the school’s parking lot. As soon as she did, she saw that there was something terribly wrong. The lot was vacant. Completely and utterly empty of every car but her own. As she stepped out of her car and saw that the front door to the school was hanging wide open, a deep pit grew in her stomach. There was no noise other than her footsteps on the gravel as she approached the school’s entrance. She walked through the open doors and towards her classroom. The once loud and rambunctious classrooms were eerily silent. As she arrived at her door, she found that it was ajar. She quickly opened it for any sign of anyone, but was only rewarded by an empty classroom. The sight made the pit in her gut grow even deeper. Megan sat down at her desk and placed the plate of cookies on her desk. She eyed the clock above the door, and read aloud, “7:45.” It was early in the morning, but someone should have been here. Her thoughts immediately turned to her students. She took out her cellphone and opened it up. No missed calls, no voice mails, not even a text message. She began calling the homes of every one of her students, only to get the answering machine each time. “Sorry, we’re not here right now. Leave a message after the beep and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.” “If you called and no one picked up, it’s because we’ve left to get ponified!” “This is the Monroe residence, please leave a message after th-BEEP!” “No one is here right now, please leave your name and number and we’ll call you.” “If you’ve called for Mark, Janet, or Julie Edens, then I’m sorry but we’ve left town permanently. Have a nice day!” Tears rolled down Megan’s cheeks as the reality of what was happening set in. The children, her children, were gone. She placed the phone on the desk and stared at it, hoping to God that it would ring just once. As she waited for the call that would never come, she rested her head in her arms and began to sob. They were all gone, and they weren’t coming back. They had abandoned her. * * * Yellowstone the Series “Minisodes” A My Little Pony Fanfiction based off a fanfiction of another fanfiction of Blaze’s original Fanfiction: The Conversion Bureau. So much pony By Anonsi (But is it enough?) From the Other Side “All right class, it’s Wednesday!” Cheerilee called cheerfully. Her class’s only response was a communal groan that lingered for a good few seconds. “Oh come on my little ponies, Human Studies isn’t that bad,” the teacher continued undeterred, “our new neighbors are really fascinating creatures! I’m looking forward to hearing all of your reports on them. Maybe by reading them, we can find out what makes them special! Who wants to go first?” Despite her efforts to motivate the students by being as positive as she could be, Cheerilee was hard pressed to find an excited face amongst them. ‘Okay then,’ she thought to her self, ‘looks like I’m going to have to use drastic measures!’ Steeling herself, the mare trotted to her desk and retrieved a bag of sweets she had ordered from Sugar Cube Corner and placed it on top of her desk. The attention of all of her students suddenly focused on the sweets, and the teacher found that she now had the undivided attention of the entire class. ‘Works every time,’ she mused as she once again stood front and center. “Alright class! Because it seems that you are all lack the initiative to give your presentations on your own, whoever presents gets a cupcake!” Every hoof in the house shot up into the air, some of the students were barely keeping themselves contained in their chairs. Quietly giggling to herself, Cheerilee decided to pick one of the young colts that sat in the front row, “Archer, how about we start with you!” The blue colt with a bow and arrow as his cutie mark stood, looking around the class room nervously before beginning. “Humans and Equestrians, a report by Archer. Humans live in a very dangerous place outside the barrier. Princess Celestia and Luna were sad that they were living like they were, so they made a potion to turn them into ponies like us. A lot of humans have turned into ponies and they are happier. What I like about humans is that they have things that let them fly.” After the colt sat down, Cheerilee placed a cupcake on his desk saying, “Well said Archer, now let’s hear what Twist has to say next.” The young filly with a tan coat and curly red mane stood up and cleared her throat. Straightening her glasses, she began, “Humanths and Equethstrianths, a report by Twithst. Humanths live outhside the barrier that surroundths Equethstria. They don’t have magic or wingths to fly, so they have to uthse roboths and other stuff to help them live. What I like about them iths that they althso have candy!” The filly gave her teacher a bright smile as she finished her report. “Very good Twist! That was an excellent report!” Cheerilee told the young pony while she presented her with a cupcake. “Now who to pick next?” She scanned the second row for somepony who looked as though they weren’t paying as much attention, or looked as if they didn’t seem involved enough. Within moments she spotted the usual suspect for such behavior, “Ah, Diamond Tiara, how about you present next? You usually have very...interesting...view on things to say the least.” The pink filly stood up quickly and began to speak in a pompous tone, “Humans and Equestrians, a report by the fabulous Diamond Tiara. Humans are smelly and gross, and kill each other all the time. They’re dumb and don’t know how to do anything that even foals know how to do, and some of them won’t get ponified because they are stupid. The only thing I like about humans is that they can’t get into Equestria.” Putting her report on her desk the young filly sat back down and stated, “I’d like my cupcake now.” Cheerilee eyed the young pony slightly disgusted. “Diamond Tiara, I think you and me need to have a little talk after class about cultural sensitivity.” The filly cocked an eyebrow, “Does that mean I don’t get a cupcake?” Cheerilee rolled her eyes and put the tasty treat on the pink filly’s desk. “Now who would like to go next...” Given the last report, the teacher wanted to hear something a bit more well intentioned. “Apple Bloom! How about you go?” Apple Bloom nearly jumped out of her chair and hastily cleared her throat. “Humans an’ Equestrians, by Apple Bloom! Mah sister Applejack has been livin’ in human lands for awhile now workin’ in a Conversion Bureau with her friends! She’s been sendin’ me letters an’ postcards an’ tellin’ me what she’s been up to! Recently, mah sis says she’s made a new friend who’s a human named Megan!” “Only your sister could find a way to get even lamer,” quipped Diamond Tiara. Apple Bloom glared at the pink filly and growled, “What’d you say ‘bout mah sister you no good-” “Apple Bloom!” interrupted Cheerilee, her face had changed from her usual smile to one that was quite serious, “We’ll have no fighting in this classroom.” “But Tiara-” “I’ll be speaking with her after class, and if she interrupts again, I’ll also be having a talk with her parents.” Diamond Tiara suddenly gulped and shrunk into her desk. Satisfied, Cheerilee gestured towards Apple Bloom, “Now, if you’d continue please?” Clearing her throat again, the young filly continued, “Mah sis says that Megan an’ her have a lot in common! They are both tough, they both like apples, and Applejack says that she wears a bow in her mane like ah do! Applejack says that Megan fights monsters with the help of all her friends an’ a bunch o’ other humans who are all really strong like her! Why, in the last letter mah sis sent, she said that she an’ Megan had jus’ finished beatin’ up a big lizard thingy! Mah favorite thing ‘bout humans is that they’re keepin’ mah sister safe until she can come back home!” Cheerilee gave her a bright smile as the filly finished her report, “That was a wonderful presentation Apple Bloom! Your sister’s friend sounds very interesting!” “Uh-huh! Ah bet you’d like her too Ms. Cheerilee!” “Oh? And why is that dear?” “Applejack says that Megan used to be a teacher like you, but fer some reason she ain’t anymore.” The teacher smiled even wider at the news, “My goodness! This friend of yours is definitely growing on me!” Placing a cupcake on Apple Bloom’s desk with a bright smile thrown in for free, Cheerilee continued to pick out fillies and colts in the class until everyone of her students had been called. * * * The enchanted bell of the school sounded the end of the day’s lesson, prompting Cheerilee into another cheerful smile, “That concludes today’s lesson class! Read up on your math problems for tomorrow!” As the students rose from their chairs, Cheerilee made sure to add, “Except you Diamond Tiara! We still need to talk.” The pink pony sat back down in her chair with a harrumph and rested her cheek on a hoof. Her disposition didn’t improve when Apple Bloom stuck out her tongue towards her as she left. Returning the gesture in kind, Diamond Tiara sat at her desk in exaggerated agony ad boredom. The other students galloped out of the building like it was on fire, leaving Cheerilee alone in the schoolhouse with the troublesome young filly. “Now Diamond Tiara,” began the teacher, “Your report today was very mean spirited, and I’m sure you don’t actually believe any of what you said. But do you want to tell me why you would say such awful things?” Tiara just looked out the window with a bored expression and replied, “I dunno.” Cheerilee knitted her brow. ‘I dunno,’ was her least favorite response to any question. “Tiara, I will not take that as an answer. Now tell me why you would write such horrible things about a people you obviously know nothing about!” The filly rolled her eyes, “Ugh, what’s there to know? They’re, like, a bunch of savages that go around killing each other!” At this, Cheerilee very nearly lost her temper. Fortunately she had been teaching for a while, and was used to keeping her cool when dealing with troubled students. “Well if you insist on this line of thought without ever meeting a human, then maybe a talk with your mother and father will sort you out.” The small filly looked at the teacher with sudden fear with the thought of her parents getting involved, and her eyes quickly began to water and form big wet tears. “No please! Don’t tell my parents! I’m sorry I was so mean, I was just going off rumors and stuff!” The teacher regarded Diamond Tiara with a stern look, “Rumors? From who?” “Uhh...” The filly’s mind raced as she tried to find a name she could incriminate, “...Scootaloo! That’s it! Scootaloo told me all sorts of nasty rumors about humans! She said that they just fly around in those big flying things of theirs and blow stuff up!” “Apple Bloom’s friend Scootaloo?” “Yeah! I’m telling the truth! Honest!” Cheerilee didn’t believe a word Tiara was saying, but she was sure that the filly was indeed sorry. “Alright, I won’t call you’re parents, but I don’t want to here anymore bogus reports from you. I’m afraid I’ll have to give you an X on this assignment. Don’t make me give you another one.” “Sure thing Ms. Cheerilee! Can I, like, go now?” “Yes, and you had better behave next time I see you.” “I will, I promise!” shouted the filly as she bolted from her chair. Within moments she was already out of sight of the school and well beyond Cheerilee’s earshot. The teacher simply shook her head and proceeded to pack up her things while mumbling to herself, “What am I going to do with that one?” “Excuse me!” came a colt’s voice from behind her, “Is this the school?” Spinning around quickly, the teacher saw two ponies she had not ever met before in Ponyville. One was a blue unicorn colt with a navy blue mane, and a orange mare with a bright yellow mane. The two mysterious ponies just stared at her with looks of joyous anticipation, like they were waiting to be told they had just won something. “Yes it is...who are you?” Cheerilee asked as she walked over to them. The colt was the first to reply, “Oh my goodness, you must excuse me! We’re Mark, and Janet Edens!” “Hello!” said Janet waving a hoof. Cheerilee looked over the pair of odd ponies for a moment until her mind clicked, “You’re new-foals?” “Yep!” said Mark, “It took us three and a half years, but me and my wife have finally saved up the bits to move to Equestria, and so far we couldn’t be happier!” Janet leaned against her husband and added, “All we need now are good pony names!” The two of them had a brief fit of laughter before Mark continued, “Anyway, me and the Mrs. were just thinking about enrolling a kid...I mean...foal of our own here.” At the news of a potential student with some insight into being human, Cheerilee became visibly more interested in the conversation. “A new foal? Well let me see if I have room in one of my morning classes, maybe I could squeeze them in...” She removed a day planner from her saddle bag and placed it on a nearby desk to scan its contents, “Aha! Here’s a spot. I can have him start Monday if that’s alright. What’s the name of the little darling?” “Oh we don’t have one yet, but we are working on it!” responded Mark with a grin. Cheerilee raised a brow and asked, “Then...you don’t have a foal to enroll here?” “Not yet!” they replied in unison, “Just checking out the scenery!” They burst into a bout of friendly laughter that rang loudly in the schoolteacher’s ears. Shaking the ringing out of her ears, Cheerilee packed up her planner and moved to the door. “Well when you do have a new foal for me to enroll, let me know. Oh, and don’t be strangers around town!” “Oh we will!” said Mark. “And we won’t!” added Janet. With a final bout of laughter, the two ponies waved their goodbyes and departed. Cheerilee stood in the school’s doorway feeling exhausted and slightly confused. “They seem nice enough,” she concluded, “maybe they’d be willing to help out in my next Human Studies lecture?” Resolving to find them again and ask them at some point, she smiled to herself and began her hike home. Having a real human perspective on things could be very educational. * * * What was down the road...? Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze Violet exhaled long and slow, feeling her nerves melt away. She liked Rose well enough, and almost felt sad that she was stuck back there, holding onto the last vestiges of man. Chuckling despite herself, the human drummed the steering wheel a bit as she reflected that not more than a day had passed since she, too, was the same way. Or rather, maybe not. Her eyes focused ahead. She never really cared about it much when it started. A movement, that’s all she took it for. Meant different faces in the crowds. She smiled as she remembered them. The crowds. All the people, shining eyes bright upon the world’s stage, buying into the stories, the theater. Violet shook her head. It had been over a year since then. A year... How had it felt so long? Sniffing the night breeze, a loud clang caught her attention as she turned her head. There, in front of her, was a rather wild eyed pony struggling against his bonds. But it wasn’t him what caught her attention. It was a metal monstrosity of a semi-truck that was on a collision course with her that did. “The shit...?” Without a second thought her foot slammed down on the gas, lurching the car forward as the engine roared in a ferocious din. Catching a glance in her mirrors, the truck behind her was still catching up quickly, it having the time it needed to build up the speed available to it. The sound of metal on metal rang as the semi clashed against the back of the truck, lifting up the back tires. The truck dangerously swerved at the loss of weight and wheel. In the window she saw a darkened face, one of anger and what seemed to be... “Dickhead!” Violet screamed, slamming her palm into the 4x4 button. The back wheels roared to life as they spun mercilessly in the air, the semi’s attempt to spin the truck sideways thwarted by the wheels as they touched concrete. Spinning the wheel in a frenzy, the girl attempted with all her might to keep focused. Her instructor’s words a faint echo in her mind, their words indecipherable about how to keep traction. ----- Rusty spun himself slightly, his neck and face finding different points in the truck for leverage. He took note that he never thought himself capable of such a position, using his chin to push himself every which way. As he spun, he looked at the groaning face of Twinkle, the poor unicorn mare that was so unaware of the present dangers. The red colt’s eyes narrowed. She only wanted to help. She was an Equestrian pony; she never deserved something like this happen and have no say in the matter. He missed the irony of the situation when he deemed the idea inhuman. Struggling against his bonds, his sprained limb searing with pain, hot tears of pain beading on his eyes. Rusty felt something snap, at first believing it to be his own leg, but on further inspection he found that the twine used to tie himself up had become caught on a screw that had not been completely drilled in. Against his movement, coupled with the giant swerves and strain the semi was jostling in to the mix, the head of the screw had helped shear the twine clean in two, and the colt found his good forehoof freed. Quickly sliding the twine off his muzzle, the freed space of the twine started to come apart at the seams, much to his pleasure. A crack against the frame of the truck robbed that pleasure from him as he slammed against the bed of the car, his body cushioning Twinkle as she collided with him. Groaning slightly, he didn’t let the idea of being skewered by her horn last in his mind lest he be so unlucky if he was to be rammed against again. “Violet!” He yelled, looking forward at the driver. The human seemed busy with keeping the truck safe, the front wheels alone not enough to speed the truck away from the male driver of the semi. Turning around, the wind whipped his hair around merciless, the tiny strands like miniature whips along the sides of his face. Richard looked down at him, a sick look on his face. Looking about the cabin, Rusty saw the girl too, Rose, arguing and yelling at her brother for Celestia knows what reason. He hoped it had something to do with his current active attempt at triple homicide. Spinning about, the Earth Pony rushed forward, taking great care not to use his hurt hoof. He failed spectacularly, falling three times with the swaying of the truck in the two feet he had to cover. Sticking his head through the window Twinkle had been dislodged from, he took stock of the situation in the cabin. “Violet! You’re doing fine!” “The hell you get free back there?!” She screamed, a look of fear and desperation plastered on the girl’s face. “Priorities, girl!” Rusty shouted over the din of both engines, the truck swerving dangerously to the side. Violet spun the wheel accordingly, the back wheels barely touching the ground and fighting against the semi’s powerful force. “We’ve got to go faster!” “You bloody well think?!” Violet’s foot pressed harder on the petal already stuck on the floor, the wheels dangerously swerving out in front. “The road’s getting bad, Rusty! It’s not safe for even us to be on it much anymore, not to mention fucktard Magee over there in a fucking Semi! I can’t get loose!” Slamming her fist into the wheel, a short, ill-tempered horn blasted from the truck’s hood. Rusty looked back. The arguing in the cabin of the semi seemed to be getting more intense by the second, as Rose was visibly grabbing Richard’s arm now. Something was wrong in more ways than one. Realizing that dwelling on it did him nothing, he looked at the grill of the semi. A good buck... “Try and keep her even!” “What?!” “Keep her even! I’m gonna try to buck the semi and free us!” Rusty cried, the truck swerving despite his instruction otherwise. “Shoot! Violet, please!” “It’s not fucking me! I barely know how to drive, let alone with two wheels and a semi actively trying to kill us.” She was crying now, her tears were streaming down her face, the fear so plainly on her face. “I can’t do this! I can’t!” “What do you mean? You’re doing a great job! Just keep it up, 20 more seconds!” Rusty shouted, shooting a hoof forward as he attempted to calm her. “I’ll give that Dick a good buck and we’ll free ourselves, then it’s clear sailing. No way he can keep up with us!” There was no chance of it. A pony might be strong, but to dislodge a semi from hooking metal on metal on a truck? Violet thought he was crazy. But she nodded her head, obeying the pony. Rusty breathed deeply. He just wanted to help someone. He was a good pe- pony. “Just be careful!” The words hit his ears only slightly, but the colt gave a smirk and a nod. Violet was being strong, so what did he care if his leg hurt like nothing else? You didn’t buck with your forehooves. ----- “The fuck you doin’!?” Rose shouted, giving her brother a look. Turning around, Richard pointed at the hastily disappearing truck. They had just let Violet go, and Rose had mentioned that Violet wanted them to take care of the Tower if she didn’t come back. “The fuck yoo ‘dink? She played us, Rose. Bitch runnin’ off to be a horse!” Ripping open the door, the older sibling jumped in. A quick run around the semi and he found himself with a copilot as the large truck roared to life, the driver taking it forward as he played with the gears. “Eighteen fookin’ gears, da fuck dey thinkin’.” He groaned as the truck began to move forward. “I ain’t lettin’ her git ‘way. No sir.” “You don’t know that, bro!” Rose muttered, shaking her head. Violet had seemed a bit.. off toward the end. Not so cold hearted as she initially seemed. Rose had written it off as how she dealt with strangers, but people... people were a limited resource nowadays. “She could be just... seein’ what there is ta see.” “I dun’t buy it, nought fer a sec’nd.” The properly named dick slammed on the gas as the machine lurched forward. Rose was adequately surprised the machine didn’t shut off immediately from the misuse of the gearbox, but they picked up speed quickly, the speck the truck had been quickly growing larger. “Ah’ll git ‘er now.” Rose shook her head. “Careful now, Rich.” She muttered. “Oh, iz Rich now iz ‘et?” He scoffed, dismissing her wiles. “Really bro, careful! The road ain’t what it used ta be.” “Dun’t tink I dun’t know dat? I fuckin’ set them charges. Keepin’ folks from leavin’. Shoulda been defennen’ our city.” He seethed, his eyes darkening. Rose looked visibly upset, slamming a hard fist into her brother’s shoulder. “Don’t lie about that, Richard! Mum an’ Dad we’re-” A hard slap along the side of her face was more than unexpected, the girl reeling back as she held her hand on her face. “Dhey were weak, Rose. Dey ran from ‘et. Ran from us.” Slamming his fist on the register, Richard’s eyes were furrowed, dark, and uncompromising, the lightest tears betraying his face. “Dhey shouldn’t ah... shouldn’t ah ran.” “Fucker!” Rose screamed, but found herself again smacked away, this time a closed fist alongside her eye. Her head slammed against the closed window, her vision blurred and fogged. “Ya killed...” “Ah did what it took. Strong’st survive. You ‘n me, sis, we’re strong.” He breathed, his voice level. “Fred was too. Made sure none of his residents left ta become ponies. Damn sure. Fuckin’ Violet woulda known. Woulda said. Fuck her.” The truck was between the headlights now. Rose tried to keep her mind conscious. The roar of the semi, the breathing, the heavy breathing of her brother, anything to keep her in the game. “Fuck her.” He was repeating himself now. “Shoulda jus’ shot ‘em. Fuckin’ ponies. Fuckin’ Violet.” “Richard... God... why would you...?” Rose muttered weakly. There was a jolt, a crash. She didn’t know what, but she didn’t like it. A victorious smirk developed upon her brother’s face. It wasn’t good. “What’re you...?” “Bitch knows how ta drive.” He snarled. Rose never heard him snarl like that before. It seemed... animistic. As if he was on a hunt. “Can’t git’ ‘er sideways. Fuck, I’da liked dat truck.” He chuckled. Rose didn’t like that either. Running her hand off the side of her head, she soon found specks of glass in her hair. Looking alongside her, the passenger window was awash with cracks, impacted in a delicate spiderweb from where her head collided. Red specks ran through them, digging deep into the spaces between the breaks. “Bleedin’...” Rose muttered. No wonder it was so hard to keep focused. Screaming. Something was screaming. Looking forward, she saw the red pony muscling around on the truck bed before her. They had crashed into the truck. He was trying to run her over, or off the road. There was something she was saying before. “The bombs...” “Charges, sis.” Richard corrected, yanking the wheel again, watching the red pony collide with the side of the truck before being sandwiched by the unicorn. “Know da damn dif’rence.” “Road.” She mused, holding the back of her head. It was warm and sticky. Cuts from the class filled her hair and she could barely see out her left eye, it all hurt. She didn’t notice how much it hurt a moment ago. Probably a good sign. “The road, Rich.” “Fuck da road, it cin handl‘et!” He screamed. Or it sounded like screaming. Everything felt so loud to Rose. The engine, her brother, breathing, wind... even the seat felt loud. “Ah cin handl’et!” Rose winced, unsure of what to do. For all his social weakness, he was a violent man. But he was never violent with her. Never to family... well, so she thought. The bastard had caused... it was her parents whom were part of the cares that came through her, leaving the city. They didn’t like the ponies much either, but... they were just settling someplace else. They didn’t need to.... He killed them. “Bastard...” She mumbled. Her eyes narrowed. She needed to do something. Her parents were dead. No one else needed to die anymore. “Peh, hum’ns kill hum’ns all da time, rem’ber?” It hit her like another punch. The tinge of regret, the idea that even when she said it, it might have held some truth. “I’m savin’ ‘er.” A cold tinge of fear ran down Rose’s spine. It crawled it’s way to her heart, gripping it and squeezing. “‘Fore she kills ‘erself.” “Can’t be....” Rose focused her mind. “Tha’ can’t be what you think.” Richard laughed. It was deep and dark, a laugh of a man who had nothing. Why didn’t he have anything? He had his sister. This didn’t seem right, not her brother. “It is, sis.” Not her brother... “Dey’re killin’ themselves. Whut comes out ain’t what gaws in.” His fist hit the register again. “Monsters. All of ‘em.” “N-no!” Rose cried. She was coming to again. She could feel it, the road was becoming clear. The red pony was on his feet. He was making his way toward the back. That look of desperation. “They aren’t-” “THEY ARE.” He shouted. Rose spun, Richard was looking at her. Really looking at her, eyes blazing. She could see it in him. She could see what wasn’t there. Her brother, he wasn’t there anymore. She saw madness. She saw loss, and pain. “THEY’RE ALL MONSTERS.” Rose could feel the realization creeping in. Loss. Richard was part of a gang. Back in the day. Real small, only encompassed a neighborhood, and some friends from around town. Just protection, almost noble in a way. Cops, clean and crooked, often ended up there one way or another, but a community protected it’s own. But they moved from that place. They moved because of the ponies. Rose hadn’t thought of it much. They all lost friends to transition. But they had made new ones. But Richard had a girlfriend in the gang. She was one of the first to go through with it. There were rumors of a pregnancy. “Richard, please, they aren’t Dawna.” A loud steely sound emanated from the front. The pony was bucking, trying to remove the semi from the Ford. “Let them go!” “Fuck you.” Shifted into another gear. There was a loud sound. This one wasn’t from the trucks. It was louder. Rumbling. Falling. “What’re dey doin’?” He seethed. “Ponies ain’t that strong!” Rose looked about wildly, the pain in her head ignored. Fear was gripping at her. “It ain’t the pony! It’s the road!” She screamed, pointing toward the mirrors. The concrete was crumbling, the effects of the battle and the charges from before had finally started what was due to happen months ago. The roadway was collapsing. “Richard!” “Shut da fuck up!” He screamed, struggling against the gearbox. There was a crash as the semi suddenly dropped speed. The cabin rumbled, the steel roared and groaned under increased pressure. “Da hell’s goin’ on!?” Rose quickly undid her seatbelt, struggling to open the door. Richard peered over, his eyes alight with insanity. “Da hell you think that’ll do?” The truck shrank suddenly, lifting up. The front wheels lost their traction as the Ford broke free of the front with a final crunch of metal and steel. Rose screamed. ----- “That did it!” Rusty shouted, his hooves bruised and bleeding from bucking against the grill of the semi. “I got it!” “No fucking way!” Violet cheered, spinning her head to look. The truck was far behind them now. Almost as if it had stopped. Or rather... as if it was still fighting to go forward. “Rusty! What’s going on!” The red colt paused, feeling the truck slow down. Looking forward, he noticed Violet struggling to get a look at the semi, and he spun about to see for himself. “It’s...” The colt gasped slightly. “The Roadway, Violet! It’s collapsing under them!” He shouted, moving forward. His forehoof screamed in pain as his legs gave out from under him, causing the pony to unceremoniously fall unto his side. “They’re going down!” Violet screeched to a halt, pushing Rusty up against the glass of the back window. Twinkle came to rest beside him. Shooting out his good hoof, he checked the mare for any damage. She seemed fine - bruises, a scrape or two from the loose screw. Minor cuts, but unharmed. “Thank Celestia. Violet! Why have we stoppe-” The car spun around, approaching the teetering semi. “Violet! What are you doing!?” To be honest, the girl didn’t know herself. But the roadway had stopped collapsing, at least for the most part, but the semi was hanging in space, some piece of metal still caught on to a strong stone edge. Violet stopped short of the semi, ripping herself from the wheel and going out on foot. “Stay here, Rusty!” The stallion rolled his eyes. “Oh sure, because I’m going places.” Turning back to the light pink mare before him, he sighed. “At least the view ain’t bad.” ----- Rose opened the door, feeling her breath stolen away as she looked out. The angle she was at kept her at a strange position, but below her was nothing but gravel and empty cars. Looking about, she could see pegasi flying about, nowhere near them to assist properly. Probably those who could weren’t too happy with what their vehicle was doing not moment ago. “Rose!” She heard her name. She heard it twice. She felt something grab her leg as she searched for the second voice, turning to see her brother grabbing at her. “Fuckin’ seatbelt’s stuck again!” Kicking her leg, she sought to free herself. “Rose!” Her name again, coming from a female voice. No way. “Rose can you hear me in there?!” “Violet!” She shouted. How that girl had the capacity to turn back after all that and - The semi lurched. Backwards. “Oh God...” She muttered, catching a look from Richard. His eyes weren’t filled with fear. It wasn’t even filled with normal human emotion. It was devoid of that, but his arm held firm. “Help me, please!” Kicking out, she struck her brother’s face, but his hand wouldn’t move. Violet looked around. She didn’t know why she would care, but here she was trying to help someone who for all she knew wished her dead not a minute before. “I can’t- What can I do!?” She yelled. The semi lurched again. The concrete started to give away. Rose heard a click. The seatbelt had come undone. Looking back, her brother now latched on to her other foot with his free hand. “Yer comin’ with me, sis. We’re gonna be free. I’ll save ya.” “Get offa me you... monster!” She kicked her feet in vain, feeling the semi start to topple, the concrete giving away. Richard smiled peculiarly as he released her. Taking her moment, Rose did all she could do, fighting against gravity. She heard her name shouted again. “Violet!” She responded, scrambling over her seat as she truck spun to it’s side and off the expressway. As she pushed off the seat, clearing the door in a jump, Rose could see her. Violet, standing on the edge of the collapsed concrete. Her arm outstretched. She knew. Rose knew she had nothing below her. She reached out, in hope. Fools hope. But hope is hope. A hand clasped around her. A scream - the pony in truck. He screamed for Violet. She smirked. Guess Violet was a pony-lover. Her weight started to come down, she had no momentum. Rose was going to fall. Violet bent at the knees, her shoes catching a crack in the stone as Rose’s weight began to fall on her arm. To say the blonde was surprised that the girl could hold her without tumbling off herself would be an understatement. But then it was tested two-fold. A weight collapsed on her, in both body and spirit. Violet fell forward, her chest slamming against the pavement above as she was forced down. Another body. Rose looked down, her fears affirmed. “Richard!” The man struggled a smile, his free arm reaching into his pocket. “Dis ain’t salvation, Rose.” His hand pulled out a small metal object. A knife. Switchblade, to be more precise. “Fall, Rose! Bring yer friend, too!” Looking between the two, Rose looked up with pleasing eyes. “Violet! I-I’m sorry! I didn’t know he’d... I tried to...” Violet didn’t know what to think. She didn’t care. She wasn’t going to let people die if she could help it. “Save it!” Her arm was stretched thin, wondering if it was possible for it to come apart. Dislocating, sure, but maybe even ripping clean off. She tried to banish the idea, but it was fairly prevalent. “I can’t- pull you up! The hell is wrong with Dick?” Rose felt streaming tears on her chin. She hadn’t noticed them before. “He’s... I don’t know! He’s not the same!” She looked down. Rose didn’t like what she saw. “I don’t think... he’s been the same for awhile now.” She unlocked her eyes, looking at a fluid motion. His arm in an arc, she found out too late what he planned to do with his knife. Cutting into her ankle, the blade slide across her bone as she screamed out in pain. Violet looked on in horror as the man tried to use the incision to pull himself up, merely accomplishing to gash her foot as the blade came loose, a torrent of blood falling freshly unto his face. “Hold on, Rose! Please, hold on!” “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking Bastard!” Rose shouted, her feet going into overdrive as she kicked at him with her free foot. She couldn’t see him as her brother now. He was a murderer. He killed her family. He killed her mom, her dad... her brother. Whatever the man who hung from her now was, he killed her brother. “Let go of meeee!” She screamed. “Violet!” A shout rang out. Another female voice. Unfamiliar to Rose, but Violet seemed relieved, even if her face was red from the effort. There was a sound of trotting as another body joined the midst, the pink mare. “Are you okay?” “No I’m not okay, Twinkle! Help me!” Violet yelled. Peering over the edge, Rose caught sight of the light pink pony. She struggled a smile, but it was insincere - she was bleeding out of the foot. Swinging her leg, it barely saved her another puncture as Richard swung and missed, his body jolting her. She felt a slip. Not her, not Richard, but Violet. “Shit!” “Violet - I don’t - I mean - I can’t.” Twinkle mumbled. Violet let out a frustrated groan. Twinkle gave a pained face as she nipped at Violet’s belt, pulling back with all her might. The frail pony didn’t give much, but she gave enough as Violet felt the pressure come off her abdomen, her face starting to fade from the red color it was starting to take. “Rose! Get him off of you!” The blonde looked about, trying to figure something out. Her free arm fell along her side. It fell along something metal. Gripping it in her hand, she felt her hand grasp the trigger. “I-I have a gun!” Violet looked serious. “Shoot him!” Rose gave a panicked look down. Richard didn’t look pleased, but he had some smile. Some maniacal smile that contrasted his hard eyes. Dark eyes. Another jolt, her vision blurred as she shrunk down closer to the ground. Violet yelped as her chest hit the pavement hard again. “You can’t!” The voice from above called. “That’s-” “He fucking stabbed her foot, she’s bleeding! He just tried to kill us during your little nap!” Violet screamed. “I’m plenty sure it’s justified, Twinkle!” There was some hesitation from the other side, but eventually Rose could feel herself lifted up another inch. “MONSTER!” The shout came from below. Richard was looking about violently, causing Rose to catch a look about. The pegasi she had seen - some of them had started to draw near. Richard was flailing now. Something had snapped deep within him when he was on the truck. Maybe even before. Rose was feeling her grip weaken, whether from fatigue or blood loss she could be sure. She needed to act. Bringing the weapon to her eyes, she opened the safety against her teeth and let her arm hang limply from her side. Violet spun somewhat, grasping Rose’s arm with her free hand, now that Twinkle held firm on her belt. “Do it, Rose. I can’t pull you both up.” Violet murmured, closing her eyes. Rose looked from both sides. Her brother, or what was left of him, wildly screaming and flailing. Above her, Violet. A girl she just met. A pony-loving liar. Holding her arm. Trying to save her. Putting her life on the line. She felt the gun’s weight. “I... haven’t killed anyone before.” She choked. “Neither have I. But... well, humans kill humans, right?” Violet, tried, shaking her head. Rose laughed. She laughed despite herself. Despite the pain, the blood, the possible mild concussion. The black eye. “Heh. No wonder you want to go pony.” She smirked, fresh tears running down her face. She peered down at her brother. In blood only. Pointing the barrel, she sighed. A tear rolled down her cheek and hung on her chin as she looked at her brother. “Richard!” She called gently. The tear fell. The man looked up, expecting anything. His eyes feral. “This is for my brother.” She whispered. The sound of thunder. He released. Blood streamed freely from his forehead. Raining down below, his body fell limply, the wind playing with the fabric as he fell. Like a doll falling from a girl’s arms, Richard hit the ground with a sickening crack. The setting sun disappeared behind the horizon. Rose’s tear landed between his eyes, trailing down his face, crying for him. * * * Where did we come from? Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze “Shitshitshitshitshit...” Her head was in a daze, quickly looking over the scene before her. HLF insignia’s adorned everything, from the side of a semi to a number of tattered flags that lazily flapped in the wind. It never occurred to her that the HLF had merchandising, but it made sense - they had to pull more and more money back in the day. The almighty dollar was pittance compared to the Equestria bit. And here she was - with two ponies. In front of who knows what disposition of man. Something told her they wouldn’t exactly be ecstatic to see them. Turning to her comrades, she saw that Twinkle had completely passed out. Be it shock or exhaustion, her magical abilities would be useless now that she wasn’t an active participant. Rusty, on the otherhand, was up and rummaging through what he could in what the saddest excuse of a back seat Violet had ever seen in a truck. “What are you doing? You can’t expect to-” She cut herself off as she lost what she was trying to say. What wild theory could the colt provide with human tools against humans? Realizing that she was not clever enough to make a quip in the scenario, she quickly looked ahead to see if any humans had appeared. “Ruuuusty, please tell me you have a plan with whatever you’re doing...!” A grunt of satisfaction issued from the stallion as the red pony poked his head into the front, in his mouth a ball of what looked to be thread. “Rowph!” “....Twine?” Violet breathed raising an eyebrow. “What, you want me to run around whoever is gonna come out from behind that blockade and hope they stand still long enough to wrap them up?” She muttered sarcastically, her face back to scanning the walls of metal. They had made a lot of noise... Maybe there wasn’t any humans on the other side? Maybe they just blocked it all off for... whatever reason? They had such a ways to go, the prospect of walking didn’t much- the ball of twine hit her in the head, interrupting her thoughts. Bouncing down, the twine rested at her feet next to the gas pedal. Whipping about, her thoughts turned to rage as she glared at the colt. “What the hell did you do that for!?” “Tie me up, you lout!” Rusty yelled, struggling with the handle of the truck. “Tie me up, throw me in the back - hurry!” He cried, the door opening as he looked at her. His face turned from desperation to fear as he realized he had been leaning on the door, and the pony ungracefully fell out of the cab. “Rusty! I- what!?” The human quickly undid her seatbelt and kicked open her door, momentarily catching a glimpse of the red colt who had so unceremoniously tumbled out of the truck. Sweeping up the twine in her hand, Violet dashed toward Rusty, surveying the colt quickly. “Are you alright? You aren’t hurt, are you?” Sliding to a halt, the stallion fidgeted slightly at her words. Rusty kicked out his free leg instinctively and bumped the tire of the truck. “Fell on my flank - kinda hurt. Think I’m fine-” Checking his other hooves, the colt winced as he tested his forehoof. “Damn it!” He seethed, his hoof retracting close to his chest. “You’re hurt!” Violet cursed, whipping her head around. She could hear it now. Movement, voices. People on the other side of the barricade were coming to investigate. “Ooooohhhhhh fuckme.” Slamming her fist against the truck, she closed her eyes tightly, her mouth repeating the last phrase continuously. “Violet! Shut up! Tie me up, I’m fine, it’s just a sprain, I’m sure!” Rusty whispered quickly, kicking her knee with his good hoof. “If you can tie me and Twinkle up, it’ll look like you’re taking us out of the city or something!” Shaking her head, Violet couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Out of the city? The city was overrun with ponies - she couldn’t exactly get this far without being overtaken by pegasi. “What the hell for!?” “I don’t know! Think of something. Lie, I don’t know, but we’re gonna be in huge trouble-” Violet’s hands started on automatic, ripping the ball of twine apart and starting to unravel and tie the pony up as she went, taking no heed to the sprained hoof. “-Yikes, watch it, Violet!” “Shut up, pony. You’re my prisoner now.” Violet screamed, her eyes shut hard. She was operating only on touch, her hands running up and down the colt’s legs as she tried to tie him up believably. The colt had a strange expression on his face, but he quieted, intent on seeing what she was up to. “Trying to break into my building, huh? Bet you never saw the frying pan coming. I’m sure you’re, uh... mate didn’t either, got it nasty in the head. Shame I didn’t crack her horn...!” She wasn’t very believable yet, but she was trying to talk hard. He could hear the other humans now, adjusting and moving the metal that barred them access to the girl. “That’s it, now around my mouth. There’s some tools in the back to help you cut the string so you can get Twinnng-” The line led from his back hoof to his mouth as Violet kept tears of fear from streaming out of her eyes. Put in a uncomfortable position, the colt was starting to feel a bit silly for the idea, instead realizing that with Twinkle out of it, he could of simply acted like he was unconscious as well - the twine was a bit much, really. “That’ll teach you...!” Standing up, Violet opened her eyes, trying to steel herself for the coming humans. Rusty looked up to see the trembling visage of the girl before him, her vision clouded and foggy as she hugged herself tightly. “Stupid pony. Almost got yourself killed.” Her mind was moving a mile a minute, piecing together a story she could act out. Spinning around, Violet could see fiery red hair move out from a gap created from a moving semi truck. Wiping her tears, Violet struggled to put on a brave face, straighting herself up as the man approached. “Oi, Who’ you?” He called, his accent unidentifiable. “Ain’t no one I seen before.” His head looked her up and down, pausing briefly at her long, dyed hair that just so happened to rest on her chest. Snorting, the man rubbed his nose along his arm as he tried to make an opinion of her. Tilting his head back, he gave a slight nod. “‘Ey! Rose! Git out here, we gotta a human with a fukkin’ pony captive!” “S’at so?” Another voice called, prompting Violet to jerk slightly. People. She was seeing people. Not person, not pony or ponies. People. “An’ what she doin’ out here?” “‘EY!” The fire headed man shouted at Violet, as if not taking into account she was so close to him. “What you doin’ here, bitch? Playin’ some sick S ‘n M with yer pony friends? Arright, I can dig it.” “Shut the hell up, asshole.” Violet’s mouth exploded, her words seething out, her eyes turning into hard glare. The man stepped back, putting his hands up to defend himself from her words. A light mist floated past as a blonde female showed up from behind the gap of the semi - she was obviously the driver who moved it for the red-headed man. His overalls and cheap cologne stung her nose slightly as his dirty demeanor fed her desperate persona. “While you’ve been up her shacking it up with this dumb bitch of yours-” “Yo, she my sistah!” “Fuck if I care what you’re into, dickhead. What the hell is up with this fucking metal wall?” Violet stepped forward, pushing the man back another foot. “I’m trying to get this damn ponies out of Freddie’s tower.” Pointing toward the city, she picked out the tall tower that could be seen even from the freeway. “Fuckers thought ‘cause he was dead that suddenly allowed them to stink it up with their shit. Entitled pricks.” Turning slightly, Violet spat in Rusty’s direction, the colt doing his part to look angry as he flopped along the ground. “Oi, Freddie’s dead?” The woman, Rose, came striding up. “I didn’t think the old bastard’s hate would let him die. Somethin’ about spitin’ the rest of us.” She laughed, obviously unfazed by Violet’s abusive speech. “That mean you’re in control of it now, girly?” “Fuck, I’m the only one left. Rest of ‘em went and became these sacks of shit.” Gesturing with her thumb, Violet moved from one to the other, the knocked out Twinkle shuddering slightly, but staying still. “Name’s Violet, by the way. You’re Rose, I know already from dickhead here.” “Richard.” The man said, indignant. Violet sneered slightly, “Oh hey, you really are a Dick!” This caused a bit of merriment between the two girls, the only human male in question turning a deep shade of red as his own uncomfortable featured become more pronounced. “Oi, lookit that!” Mimicking his accent, Violet bent forward with an expectant look. “His ‘ol head is gettin’ a stiffy!” Poking his chest, the girl turned to the other female with the flower name. “So is it just you two out here?” She asked, her hard demeanor fading slightly. “Aw, no, not really. We’re just holdin’ down the fort while everyone’s partyin’. They shut down those sins against nature today.” Violet nodded slowly at Rose’s words, turning toward the city. If she strained her ears, some gunshots could be heard. Celebratory, sure, but something felt as if some of the men down there were aiming their skyward shots. Their rolling thunder shook Violet some, but she kept herself from over thinking it. Rusty, on the other hand, started flailing a bit harder, as if he was actively trying to free himself. “Hey, what’s with the pony, anyway? Why you bringin’ him all the way out here?” Violet shrugged and pointed in some obscure direction. “Neither of ‘em are pegasi, so I though a little reward for trying to sneak in the high rise would be a nice little nap and a bit of a rodeo.” Smirking, she turned from the two and let her face drop, her panicked expression written all over. “I, uh, there’s a second one in the bed. Unicorn. Took her out with a frying pan, if you’d believe it. Shame I missed the horn. Heh.” Coughing, she closed her eyes. She wasn’t able to see the city anymore - the mist had become too thick around them. “So I’m bringing them out into the country, S’far as half a tank goes. See if they’ll enjoy the company of some feral dogs or something - see if that one can really put some of that magical shit to good use.” Her laugh was hollow, but the brother and sister seemed to accept it well enough. Striding over to the truck bed, the exhausted and unconscious Twinkle lay, her head slightly in the back window. “‘Ey, what’s the red one doing outta your car, anyway?” The man spoke. “Saw ‘em trying to climb out on the highway. Fool thought he could escape going sixty.” Giving him a swift kick to the abdomen, Violet halted her foot just barely before making contact. Rusty, for his part, did an admirable job faking taking the hit, and doubled over slightly. “Hit the breaks and he fell out. Stupid fucker. ‘Ere, help me with him, would you, Dick?” “Richard, Vio.” In the next instant, the dickhead found himself reeling back, a red mark clear on his face. Violet was in a huff, breathing erratically. “Shite, stupid bitch! Whaddafuk was dat for?” “Only my friends call me Vio, dickhead. Remember that.” She threatened, causing an amused chuckle to emanate from Richard’s sister. “You were dick before you were Richard.” It still seemed fairly hypocritical, but fearing a matching pair of red marks, the man dropped it. Turning slightly to Rose, Violet smirked. “You may call be Vio, or V, if you want.” “Will do, V, will do. Hey, Richy the Dick, pick up that pony and move him back into the bed. Rough as you like.” Rose ordered. Richard looked defiant, but a moment longer and he caved under his sister’s gaze. The wind picked up slightly, clearing the area for Violet to see. The city found itself visible around them, the afternoon sun gleaming over the skyscrapers that dotted the city, their glares illuminating the city streets below in pale yellow light. In it, Violet felt a small connection to how it was before. Back when the city had the life of humans. Cars and construction... However, her thoughts were pulled away as the pony grunted and groaned under Richard’s attempts to pick him up. “Hey, Dicky, careful with his arm - leg - thing. It’s sprained or something.” She said, not giving the action much thought on the outside. Rose’s smile flickered. “Now how you go and know that, V?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “All his little hoofsies are tied up...” Trailing, she looked over the job. “Haphazardly, too.” She smirked, walking past the other humans and bending over. Violet froze, unsure of what to think. Unsure of what to do. Her breathing slowed as she stared out into the city. But the fog was returning, coming in thick as ever as she hastily scrambled for anything that made sense. “‘F-Fore you got here. Was looking him over. Had to straighten up some of his bonds, and he seemed sore about me touchin’ that hoof.” Turning over to Rose, she put a quick smile on her face that she hoped meant trouble. “‘Course, the screamin’ helped too.” Violet flashed a wicked smile. “Boy, you’re one cold-hearted bitch, V.” Rose chided, shaking her head, a small smirk on her features. Leaning down, she looked the stallion in the eye a moment before shrugging. “Don’t know what makes a man give up his life like that.” Violet paused, giving a shrug. “Family, curiosity, who knows, really. Fuck if I care, though.” She muttered, crossing her arms. “All I know is that Freddie wouldn’t want them in his place, and I swear I don’t want them in this city. It’s my city.” Turning back to the truck, she started moving around it slowly, intent on getting off the freeway while she could. “Sooner or later we’re gonna have to start the City Liberation Front.” “Lame joke, V, very lame. But still... I have to agree.” Rose sighed wistfully, turning to look upon the cloudless day. “I remember you’d have to be a freak and a half to walk along this freeway. Too many cars. The smell of exhaust and the shrieks of car horns.” She murmured as the truck jolted slightly as Richard finally succeeded in putting Rusty in the back. Violet studied Rose’s features, trying to understand where the other girl’s life had gone to make her so proud of what was so very little now. Perhaps it made it easier, in a way. Was that way of life so good to remember it so fondly? “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck me, he’s heavy.” Richard complained, wiping his brow. Violet turned to the red-headed man and shot him a sour look. “Whoda thunk a three foot horse could weigh dat much.” Continuing, he was making it clear he didn’t want to just be in the sidelines of the conversation. “Stop complainin’, I put the two back there myself, Dick.” Revving the engine slightly, Violet gave Rose a small wink. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but I gotta-” Suddenly the radio started again as she turned the truck on again, causing an embarrassed Violet to immediately switch it off with a small smile. “Been a long time since I heard somethin’ like that. Who is it?” Rose hung in to the open window, her arm laying lazily along the inside of the cabin. Violet shrugged and turned away, trying to look aloof as she felt her cover slipping slightly. “Dunno, just was in the truck. Jacked it from the Bureau a while back. Beats trying to find a fill station that still worked in my area.” Coughing, Violet didn’t even notice her pattern of speech had changed to something much softer. Rose raised an eyebrow, but decided to drop it. “So, uh, why have you guys been operating here instead of at the exits? And uh... Freddie never said, before he went - Loudly I might add -” This elicited a chuckle from Rose, who pointed for her brother to return to the semi. Richard paused, giving the unicorn a look, none to pleased to see her unbound. Violet caught his reaction through the tinted window and did the best eye roll she could muster. “She’s out like a light, Dick.” The red-haired man shot her a look, but crumbled under the stare Rose gave him in return. “Fuck! You girls don’ know eachudder fahve minutes an’ you’re ‘gainst me.” He mumbled under his breath, taking off for the barricade, finding solace in the cabin of the semi. Rose watched him go a moment before sighing and shaking her head. The red pony in the back slammed a bit against the sides for effect, distracting the HLF member and cutting off whatever train of thought she was working on. “Stay still, you, or you’ll find you and your girlfriend there off this lady’s shoulders and off this expressway.” Gesturing the guarding wall alongside the road, she leapt one hand over it to signify dumping the ponies right off the road and down several stories to their deaths. Violet’s stomach visibly dropped, and she couldn’t hide her expression from Rose this time. “Oi, V, what’s the matter wit’ you?” Shaking her head, her eyes were closed tight. “N-nothing. I just... well, they used to be human, you know?” Violet realized her head wasn’t thing only thing shaking, as her knuckles were white, holding unto the wheel with all her might to stop them. “I mean... it’s sick what they’ve done to themselves.” She covered, bolstering her long bluff. “But... I can’t kill them.” “Shoot girl, didn’t know you were a bleedin’ heart for these ponies. I don’t know if you knew this, but humans went and killed humans, too.” Rose smirked, drumming her knuckles against the hard plastic on the inside of the truck. Catching Violet’s disturbed look, she dismissed it with a wave of her hand. “Joke, V. Yeesh, lighten up a little. Although I’m surprised...” There was a slight twinkle in her eye as she turned to the two pastel ponies in the back. Rusty stared defiantly at the girl. “Considering what you’ve done to them already.” “Defending my home.” Violet’s mouth was on automatic again, much to her reprieve. She couldn’t keep this up mentally, that hatred that crawled under the skin. Every word exchanged hinted toward a malicious intent, keeping her mind in this distant place so she could accurately portray herself in the way they wanted. “And keeping with a stupid old man’s wish.” Releasing her hands from the wheel, she shook her head slightly. Rose misread it as a look of regret, of grievance of the old HLF staff member. “So, uh.” She coughed, shifting gears. “Can’t idle for long, you know. Never know when this one is gonna wake, you know?” Violet shrugged a shoulder toward Twinkle, who’s mouth moved slightly in whatever dreamlike state magic exhaustion gave. “Eh, smack her again if you can.” Rose waved it off, but released her grip on the truck door. The black beast rumbled slightly in response as Violet tested the gas a moment. “So when can we expect you back this way? You gotta use this route anyway, seeing as the entrance..” Rose paused, gesturing to the partnering concrete structure alongside the stone divider, “to Albuquerque has fallen apart. It’s not safe - could give away any moment.” Violet nodded very slowly. Could such disrepair even happen in just over a year? Then again, it hadn’t seen much work before the Bureau’s, so maybe it was a timing issue. Considering the fact that if her story was true, then Violet the HLF member would of died a rather karmic death. Rubbing the mental image from her mind, she glued her eyes forward. “Thanks. And... hey Rose?” “Yeah, V? What’s up?” The blonde haired human asked, crossing her arms. Violet paused, trying to find the right words. “If I hit some goddamned dear going 90, and I’m not back in four hours, take care of the tower for m-....For Freddie. You’re human, for whatever it’s worth nowadays.” Rose paused, nodding her head slightly. “Well arright. But I don’t see how anything could take this beast and hurt you at all.” She smirked, patting the machine on it’s side. “A tree then.” Violet rebutted, catching Rose off-guard. “I’ve never really traveled all that far from here, and I might do a little sight-seeing, what’s left of what there is to see, anyway.” Violet kept still, her eyes moving up slightly as the road in front of her cleared itself. Clicking the audio system on again, she rolled the volume down slightly as she sighed. The next song on the CD hummed to life as she looked over to Rose. The girl looked like she was starting to piece things together. “Tell me... why didn’t any of the HLF outside of Fred come to the Tower? I hadn’t seen more than five humans the last three months.” Rose gave a hesitant look as she peered over to her brother, far off into the barricade. “The Tower... well, it...” Clearing her throat, she shrugged. “It’s too far in. You have to go by so much of pony-occupied territory... I’m surprised you could even go outside.” “I didn’t... much. It’s dangerous business, going out your front door.” Violet gave a smirk, alluding to the music that played for them now. Rose shook her head incredulously, in a ‘you-did-not-just-make-that-joke’ fashion. The song droned on a bit, before Violet gave a bit of a shrug, dismissing the topic. “It’s not bad though. Nothing you don’t get anywhere else now.” Trailing, Violet moved the truck from it’s current position into drive, sighing slightly. “The sunsets are beautiful, you can see them beyond the city skyline from up there.” A tear dropped unexpectedly from her eye, but she ignored it - Rose, on the other hand, couldn’t help but draw her attention to it. Her expression changed, although it was unreadable as far as Violet was concerned. “Violet... are you... You’re not coming back, are you?” She breathed, as if she was talking to someone who was admitting that they were going to commit suicide. “Oh, I’m sure I will. Heh.” A pained laugh, a new tear fell slid across her face and hung on her cheek. “In some form or another.” Shrugging, she released the break and moved forward, leaving the bewildered Rose to connect the dots. Violet hoped the other flower child would take a little while, as there was no telling what her reaction would be. Acknowledgement? Rage? There was something behind that girl’s front, Violet had connected with it, if only briefly. They were similar in some aspects, and Violet was certain had they have met years ago, they’d have been friends in some way. Dismissing her facade, the human felt a weight lift from her shoulders as she smirked. She hadn’t the chance to act in years, and even though she wasn’t trained in improv, she was relatively pleased with the result. Rolling past Richard, Violet gave him a smile and a wink, catching a completely bemused expression on his face before putting her foot down and accelerating past the HLF barricade. Catching sight of the sides, the girl checked to see how her pony passengers were doing. Rusty seemed lost in thought, trying to make the best of the strange position he was in, and Twinkle remained with her head stuck in the cabin, her hoof supporting her head on the threshold. Violet couldn’t go too fast with both ponies in her care having no way of bracing themselves, and that gave her time to view the area in front of her. The concrete was cracked in some places, and in others the rails had completely fallen apart. There was no way this was a weathered occurrence, Violet assumed, sticking her head out the window to get a better look. There were tell tale signs of explosive powders and brown splotches of color every couple of feet, as if... Violet couldn’t guess what. Keeping her eyes on the road, the human navigated the cracked and weakened road, catching sight of small encampments that were starting to light up in the afternoon sun. It was going to be dark soon, and that meant any surprises along the road were going to be met in only the lights of her truck. She wanted to know what happened here. What kind of life did the HLF lead that there would be blood stains and explosives on a road? The idea of sects, different units within the group, may have been in unrest with how the group was heading. Humans always did have a knack for fighting each other in even the most grim of moments. The dark cracks of the road warned her of weakness, a testament of human history. Blood-soaked, crumbled, with the only guiding light going out, and leaving her to deal with only what could be seen in the short term. She was so lost in her revelry she didn’t even notice the eighteen wheeler approaching from behind, the sounds of a distressed Earth Pony muffled over her own engine. Further down the road... * * * Where did we come from? Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail Part II By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze The lights were dim inside the Conversion Bureau, and not a soul could be seen inside, pony or otherwise. Violet’s head against the glass, she hit it with a dull thud as she weepishly looked on inside as she stood there. Woebegone, Violet felt her knees buckle under her as she slammed against the ground, her face betraying no pain as the impact bloodied her knee. “Too late...” She breathed. Casting another forlorn glance toward the Bureau, she felt a hot anger consume her, but it fluttered out in the very second it had appeared, replacing it with feelings of helplessness. Tears flowed freely, but she made no whimper. She felt nothing. Weighted down, Violet spun around, her head glaring down at the sidewalk around her. She wanted it to be an angry stare, but all she could muster was the intensity - none of the feelings. Passersby, Earth pony and unicorn, gazed gazes of dull surprise toward the human girl, the tears on her face staining her cheeks with a salty residue. The wind blew briskly around her, the tides of Autumn chilling her slightly, but provoked no movement, a dense fog enveloping her, holding her still. Violet didn’t know how long she sat there, how many ponies past her saddened shape. She didn’t care. Everyone was gone, anyway. Soon she would be to, she guessed. There was no reason to return to her home, if she could even call it that. It was more of a place where she ate, slept, and whittled away the day before repeating the process ad infinitum. She had hoped that moving to where the last vestiges of man would remove her from the creeping grip of loneliness she had succumbed to prior. Nothing flowed for her. The only remnants of her long forgotten life had left long ago, the feeling of connection with other people... A stallion walked by, casting a strange look to the female before him. Pausing, the pony stopped. “Um... ‘Scuze me miss, but uh... Aren’t you going to... party like the rest of them?” He asked, every word he said a squeeze on both himself and his listener. Snapping up, she eyed the red pony intensely, causing him to take a few steps away. “Look, I don’t want any trouble from your organization, I was just asking-” “Organization?” She echoed accusingly, before catching herself. The colt was about to bolt, that much was obvious, but his eyes scanned her face. She didn’t let herself see it much with Alfred, but ponies had gigantic eyes. Large, imposing... caring eyes. “I-I’m sorry.” She choked, her head leaning back. She was never like this. Never so much of... well, a bitch. Maybe to her friends when she wanted to elicit a laugh for an overreaction, but to yell with such- malice. “I’m so sorry...” New feelings of shame reigned inside. Who was she, anyway? What right did she have to be angry? The entire reason she was here was her fault - never choosing to become a pony like her friends. Her family. Her entire race. What was she? The colt shook his head a moment, taking the picture before him in. “Whoa, whoa, hold on lil’ girl, it’s alright,” he cooed, walking alongside the human. “Calm down - I’m sorry to have assumed you were in league with them.” He started. “With who?!” Violet’s voice cracked, holding on to the end of her rope. “I-I...” she paused. The last month, Alfred was her only human friend. Before that, she had been the only human remaining in her apartment complex. So she had moved somewhere more posh; more high class for humans. Humans. She kept coming to that distinction. The stallion in front of her probably wasn’t a pony for more than a year - she was sure of it, with a human hacksaw adorned on his flank. Human... Violet choked for a moment, holding a hand to her mouth. She hadn’t seen a single human in all of Albuquerque in more than three months outside of her new complex. It’s why she had left her old one. “I’m the only one...” She breathed, a panic in her voice. “You’re not... the only one,” the colt sighed, drumming his hooves on the ground. “I’m sorry, I thought you were with some of the HLF. They’ve been having a big party on the other side of town, I don’t know much - no reason to be in that area. The Conversion Bureau closed because the last couple of humans that came through mentioned that they were the only ones they knew left, really. Well, one with funny hair seemed sad - he said there might be one more-” “Alfred...” Violet breathed. She wasn’t stupid - it wasn’t hard to come to terms with the idea that he had wanted her to follow. Reaching into her pocket, her hand ripped out a small note that the now-pegasus had wrote her. “What all did you write...?” The colt beside her leaned over, but Violet didn’t mind. The action reminded her of the way things used to be with her friends. ----- Dear Violet, Heh. Dear. I sound so... Shakespearean. Or something. Thouest Violeth, I am betrothed... um... thee Hamlet, forsooth! Crazy how things change over time. Although I guess that’s why I’ve come to this place I am. I got a letter in the mail today - the pegasus who dropped it off said she had almost given up looking for me, seeing as she couldn’t get in to my mailbox - Ol’ Fred never left anyone the keys. Probably took ‘em to the grave, the old bastard. Anyway, um, so - ponies. It’s why I’m writing this. I got a letter from a friend of mine today that he was finally going through with it, and wanted to let me know my parents went in for it earlier today. Apparently their old dog died and they felt like nothing was holding them back. Don’t know why I didn’t get a letter from them myself but - oh geez I’m rambling. It took me three hours to find a goddamn pen that still works and I’m wasting it by whining and complaining. Look, Violet, I’m going to go become a pony. Maybe today, maybe in a week, I don’t know. I’m playing this by ear. I want you to know this has nothing to do with you. Or everything. I mean... Oh, I would scratch that out but I’ve got nothing to lose. I don’t want to go alone, so by the time you read this I’ll probably be waiting, or in there already. Please, come with me. I know I’m boisterous and loud, but I’m really quite a coward when it comes to these things, but I’ve really come to like you, V, and I kinda want to be a pony alongside you. I guess that might be creepy, seeing as we’ve talked maybe three weeks, but as the last vestiges of man and woman left here in I’ll Be Quirky that’s not part of the HLF... I dunno, I thought we might have grown close. So I’m going to go now. Oh shoot, the ink is running out. Um, if you don’t come I’ll be sad? -Love, Alfred. ----- Violet smirked, a tear rolling down her cheek. He could have said as much at her apartment. The hastily scrawled note dropped from her hand and unto her midriff. Even on the blank side of the page, she could see an indent of Alfred’s name as he tried desperately for more ink to sign his name in by pressing hard on the paper. Her cheeks felt hot, and her stomach felt... disastrously weak, but really, she was glad to start feeling again. “Owowow...” She complained suddenly, her hands shooting out to her knees where she had fallen on them before. By this point they had mostly clotted, her joints try and aching from the force of her earlier fall. It didn’t make them any less painful, though. “You okay then, Violet?” The colt asked, having read part of the note, and gathering her name from it. A couple more ponies that had been passing had stopped to see the human girl conversing in what looked to be a friendly chat with a pony. “I kinda read a little bit of the note and-” “No, I’m not.” She laughed, wiping away tears. “But maybe I could be.” She sniffed, experimenting her movement by bending her knees. They smarted, but they were functional, as expected. “Do you know where the ponies at the clinic went?” A pastel pink unicorn, the single one from the bunch of ponies whom had gathered, moved a hoof step forward, craning her neck slightly to look at Violet better. “Why... you want to be a pony?” She asked carefully. Violet hesitated. It’s why she was here. It’s why she left her apartment. It’s why she had been crying... right? She could feel herself slipping somewhat, so she did the only thing she felt she could do in response, and nodded her head violently. “More than anything.” She blurted out, a strained smile on her features. Looking at the other ponies, she lifted a hoof, as if asking them to leave. Some did so, glad to have avoided a confrontation with a rogue HLF member too far from the others. “Well, my name is Twinkle. I’m a unicorn from Equestria and... well, up until this morning I was in charge of this Bureau.” She admitted, looking toward the colt next to Violet. “Do you two know each other?” The colt shook his head, “No, I just saw her sitting here outside. She’s not from the HLF - she’s just human.” He explained, removing the last of any doubt from the pink unicorn’s face. “For whatever that’s worth.” Violet chuckled despite herself. The girl looked both ways, not entirely wishing to lock eyes with a pony again - their eyes were too happy, too full of life, she didn’t feel like she could take much more of it so soon. She had felt devoid of it for so long. It was like taking a bit drink of water after thirsting for so long - too fast and it was painful all the way down. Violet leaned back, her eyes closed. The city was quiet. A light fog rolled from the hills down toward her position. There was life - wonderful, moving life, but there was no familiar sound. Construction, vehicles, the angry horns and wailing sirens... there wasn’t any of it. How could such a thing be real - that these ponies lived like they needed each other. It was beyond them - the base human instinct. “Please...” She heard herself say. “If there is any way...” Twinkle looked about, her single highlight bouncing as she did. The other ponies that had gathered and not heeded her gesture to leave peered at her with pleading eyes. Save the girl. She wanted to, Twinkle really did, but she had no means, not anymore. The sedative, the magic she wasn’t capable of... “I know a way.” The colt mentioned, standing up from his haunches. A rushed whisper grew from the other ponies as he stood. “I may have been one of the firsts here, but I remember what it’s like to be human.” The unnamed pony started to walk around the corner, before flicking his head. “Come on, Violet, you can drive, right?” Looking up, the girl nodded, galvanizing into action. Twinkle followed suit, intent on finding out what this red pony meant, the fog which threatened to roll down had dissipated as just as fast as it had appeared. ----- “I’ve never actually been in one of these before.” Twinkle called from the bed of the pick-up truck as it cruised down the city streets at a lazy pace. The streets were clean but cracked, the air whipping by, playing with the hair of all those present. Violet relished in the idea of one last road trip, going off into lands unknown. She had never ventured far from the city limits, instead choosing to grow up and live her life in her city to her last breath. But she had since given up the keys up to that dream. She had a new one, and her eye sharpened as her mind pulled away from the fog that had rolled into town when the Conversion Bureau’s did. The road was clear in front of them - free of traffic, people, crashes - the few ponies that were walking along the roads gladly headed to the side, the loud engine of the pick-up giving more than enough forewarning. Violet chuckled to herself as she caught Twinkle admiring the vehicle. It was clear that despite the multitudes of humans she had seen through her branch, she never much got out to look at the large metal machines. “It’s a relic of a bygone age, Twink. The 2011 Ford F-150. 6.2 L engine, Four-hundred horsepower, over four hundred pounds of torque.” The beast shifted gears as Violet let the engine roar a moment, Twink looking a bit frightened as she stuck her head in from the back window. “What that means...” Violet paused, a gratifying smirk on her face. “Is power!” Violet laughed as she added an English accent to the last sentence, a detail that seemed lost on Twink, but the red colt next to her seemed to chuckle a bit. Sure there had been better cars - the American musclecars, the European Supercars... but Violet had a soft spot for the ol’ red-blooded pick-up truck, her grandfather owning a ford out in the countryside of New Mexico. Memories of off-roading left Violet with a twinge of longing for her grandfather - a welcome change to the nothingness. “I’m Rusty, by the way.” The stallion called from the side seat, putting his head in from the window. The colt’s amiable smile caught on to Violet, who stuck out a free hand to his hoof. Soft skin met with harried hoof as Violet took note of how strange a pony’s hoof felt, and made a note to check how it felt after she had one of her own. “Pleased to meet ya, Rusty. You can call me Violet as you have, but my friend’s call me ‘V’.” Keeping an eye on the road, Violet’s eyes caught sight of an exit towards the east. “Where we actually goin’? I don’t know where other Bureau’s are.” She said, a faint glint in her eye. “Well,” Twink started, looking between Violet and Rusty. “I’m sure my report will hold another Bureau open for at least a little while longer. Closest one is in...” She paused, tilting her head. “Colorado Springs, I think.” “Colorado Springs! Hey, my cousin just went in yesterday, finally.” Rusty interrupted, catching sight of Violet’s expression as Twinkle was talking. “Apparently a lot of folks flow to that one rather ‘n local ones for the scenic trip to take before turnin’ into ponies. My cuz said that he was the third one that day. Sounded pretty excited on the phone.” There was a pause as the red stallion looked out the window. “Didn’t know that was the closest open Bureau around out here. This is gonna be a long trip.” Violet’s expression molded into something between bliss and apprehension, her mind wallowing in the details of being with... sentients of like mind. Checking her fuel guage, Violet spun unto the entrance toward Colorado Springs. Looking back, she raised an eyebrow toward Twinkle. “So, is this alright? You know, for you to just up and road trip like this?” Violet asked, shrugging her shoulder a bit. “Oh, yes, like I said, my report explained everything.” Twink said, a smile on her face. “But... shouldn’t you have waited, for you know, permission? You said you helped run the Albuquerque Bureau. Aren’t you... important?” Twinkle shook her head, her hair sparkling in the sun. Violet had made mental note to ignore too much about the pony, but was finding the empty road on the old expressway to be lacking. The slight bubblegum smell, the shimmering mane... did all ponies really look so beautiful? Why had she waited? Wh- “Eyes on the road, V.” Rusty called. “I’m excited to ride in my truck again for the first time in a long while, but I’d rather you keep it intact until Colorado Springs.” He stated calmly, staring out the window. “Can do, Red.” Violet smirked, deciding on her pet name for the red horse. Rusty bleated in displeasure at the simplicity, but said no more. For a good while Violet and her assorted ponies merely enjoyed the view of Albuquerque go by, Rusty enjoying the sight of the thousands of pegasi which littered the skies, stretching their wings, many learning how to do tricks and really stretch their limits. Twinkle, on the other hand, had retreated to the back of the truck bed, enjoying the wind in her mane. She absolutely adored the sights of the human city, even if it belonged to the ponies now. “Such architecture!” She breathed, the howling winds around her stealing her sounds. While she had lived here for the past year, Twinkle was never one to get out much. Cruising down the expressway at a cool and dangerous eighty miles per hour, she picked herself up, her horn glowing slightly as she approached the cabin. Sticking her head through the back window, she looked between the two a moment before smiling. “So, what kind of pony do you want to be, Violet?” The human in question put a relaxed hand on her chin as she gave the idea mild thought. “I don’t really care, although a pegasi would be neat. To fly all day...” She breathed in deep, but shook her head. “I’d be fine with being a bare bones pony though, like Red here.” She teased, causing the pony to smirk. “Bare bones, eh? This bare bones pony could buck you to next week and back!” He challenged, which only got a laugh from Violet. “Not in this car, you won’t, unless you want to go careening out of control.” She warned. Looking about the cabin, Violet had decided the next boredom killer on her to do list was the magic of snooping. However, all she could find from a few casual glances was general repair work - some tools, rope, twine... it reminded her of her grandpa’s old set of wheels, although a little cleaner and didn’t smell of two year old french fries. “Say Red, what’d you do for a living?” Rusty looked annoyed for a moment, but let it pass. “Pre-pony is the same as newfoal. I work on building things. The scale has shrunk, obviously, and a lot of what I do gets sent to Equestria or more rural areas.” Violet pursed her lips, obviously unamused with the answer, but let it slide. There were other things she could ask. “So why you letting me take your truck? Or why are you coming along? This all seemed rather sudden - Twink here not included. Y’know, you still baffle me, Twink.” Violet accused, a small smile playing on her lips. The unicorn shrugged slightly as she turned to Rusty, who looked almost relieved that the attention had diverted off of him - until Violet brought it back. “Well, I told you my cousin went in recently. I wanna be there for him when he gets himself a new pair of legs.” Rusty commented, before chuckling. “Well, a pair of a pair of legs.” Quite pleased with himself, the red stallion turned his head back out the window. “Sure beats walking there, not a whole lot of ponies are into retrofitting vehicles, as you can see. Ain’t a job anymore, V, working on cars. It’s a passion. That’s somethin’ you learn real quick when you go pony - not a whole lot is expected of you and everypony is fine with that. Stick to what’s on your flank and you’ll find your way.” Rusty tilted his head expertly, checking on the handsaw that adorned his flank. “Hear it’s even easier in Equestria.” He added, continuing his thought. “Sounds like a perfect world, to me.” Violet muttered, a bit too darkly for Twink’s taste. “And what is wrong with a little perfection, Violet? Everypony is discovering who they are, what they love, and pursuing it... I don’t understand where it could go wrong.” She laughed. Her attitude, while helpful, was wearing a bit thin. Sunshine and rainbows. Violet calmed down though, less she return to the fog she was in. “N-nothing’s wrong with it. Just sounds too good to be true.” Violet stammered, wishing to end the train of thought. “Remember the position I was in, okay? So drop it.” “Hold on there, V, slow down!” “Hold on? What do you mean hold on? That I can’t be a littl-” “No! I mean slow the hell down!” Rusty yelled, causing Violet to look forward. A line of cars, trucks, and semi’s were lined up side by side and they were bearing on them. Slamming on the breaks, the pickup stopped hard, the powerful truck coming to a screeching halt. The glow around Twink increased tenfold as her spell took effect, the cause for her glowing horn becoming clear as all three around the vehicle felt themselves come to a comfortable halt. “Cheese ‘n Rice, V! Watch where you’re goin’ next time!” Violet was trying to catch her breath from the near fatal accident, but Twinkle’s spell had taken most of the physical complications out of the equation. “I’m sorry! I didn’t think I needed to pay much attention! Twink! Are you okay?” Violet spun around to see the tired looking unicorn wink at her. She was panting heavily, but looked fine for what she had pulled off so quickly. “Twink... Thank you.” “No problem...” Twink breathed slowly, closing her eyes. Violet spun around in her chair, slamming the sides of the wheel in her hands. “Now just what kind of uncultured baboon would set up a road block in the middle of the goddamn expressway!?” Violet shouted, looking over the vehicles with a critical eye. However, what adorned their vision before them caused the three travelers to collectively start praying. There, adorned crudely in paint on the side of a semi, was the logo of the Human Liberation Front. * * * The Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail By HiddenBrony Original Concept by: Blaze Violet expelled her breath long and deep, staring up at the ceiling above. Glow in the dark stars speckled her room in the idea of making it more like sleeping outside, but it hadn’t worked it’s magic on her in years. Now they were just familiar - a commodity that had become rare in recent time. Ever since the Conversion Bureau’s opened, nothing was the same - her best friend had run off to them quickly, sending her a letter every day she could - until all that came back one day was a hoof print and a horribly scrawled ‘Come with me!’ that Violet could only guess was written by her now pastel friend. Slipping sideways off her bed, Violet cast her eyes toward her curtain, bordered by magnificent sunlight that tasted the edges of her window. She casually glanced toward her alarm clock, always ten minutes fast, and instinctively slammed her open palm unto it, the final digit changing the time to nine o’ clock as she hit it, cutting the alarm before it had time to screech out the grinding tones. Taking a deep breath, she idly remarked the air smelled like warm root beer, before realizing that she had left a bottle of the stuff opened near the foot of her breath. Giving it a cautionary glance, she picked up the two liter and drained the rest of the flat liquid. “Breakfast of Champions.” Violet muttered under her breath. Gathering her courage, she stood up, rubbing the slight muffin top that extended over her pajama bottoms. She had actually been losing weight, but then again it was easier to eat healthy now that most restaurants had cheap and easy food that was somehow more healthy than anything she normally chewed on. As she remarked on her slimming figure, her stomach growled as the soda reached it, obviously unhappy with it’s first meal. “Oh, quiet you. I’ll give you something good in a bit.” She sighed. A year ago that would of meant Fruit Loops and a muffin. Glancing wistfully toward her curtain, she grabbed the bottom and pulled. Blinding light filled the room, illuminating the cleanly mess she claimed property over. What used to be pizza boxes were now simple cardboard boxes, stuffed with memories and pictures of those who left her behind. Her eyes adjusting to the light, she bent down and picked up a loose rectangle, flipping it over. Graduation day. There she was, cap and gown, right next to a strong, chiseled young man. To her left were two odd-balls, a short, chubby young man in glasses and the eccentric actor that made up her little group of friends. She closed her eyes, remembering them, their faces, their voices. She could hear Evan’s voice, so unfitting his stocky physique. “I guess I could go into radio, I hear I’m not supposed to sound like how I look!” How apt that was now, she admitted. The anatomically poor man had been one of the frontrunners to the Bureau, his self-confidence had always been held back by his physical shape. What came out was a blue-gray stallion pegasus that, while a bit wider around the flank, was just as tall as anyone. Or anypony, as the little horses liked to say. Shaking her head mercilessly, she tossed the picture off to the side. The others, like Evan, were all... different now. Looking toward her door, she pushed it open, most places no longer having locks or knobs anymore. It had been replaced before she moved in here - apparently the last tenant had thrown an absolute fit and got himself thrown out, but not before breaking what he could. The rest of Violet’s apartment was in far contrast to her room. Clean and tidy, one would believe it was almost up for sale. The floor opened up into something spacious, with plenty of room to dance, hop, skip, or jump... none of which Violet would partake in. Not without someone else. The sound of her apartment was deafening to her - this silence all encompassing. Not a knock or a slam or the muffled arguments of a family could be heard anywhere beyond her walls. Violet stomped her foot loudly, as was her custom, and waited for a response that never came. ----- A month ago, she had a meeting with the other tenants. It happened on a foggy day that was just like any other. An old couple named Judy and Harold, an eccentric music man named Alfred, and the superintendent. When she arrived into the room, she had been taken aback slightly - not to see so few people, but rather - so many! They sat comfortably in their own ways, Judy and Harold sat pleasantly in their chairs, while Alfred sat on a table, using a chair as a footrest and a wall as his leaning apparatus. The super merely sat behind an important looking chair, his mustache unkempt and his old, gray hair scruffy from weeks of ignoring simple brushing techniques. “Ooohhh...” chided the old maid. Violet spun to look at her, and could see the woman was analyzing her and forming her own opinions. Judy looked nice enough, her blue sundress was ironed just so that it seemed she stepped off the set an old film. Violet felt hot under the collar being examined, and quickly made her way behind a table to keep herself from being fully watched, as if the oak table could save her from the old marm’s opinion. “Well, would you look at that, another one joins us in ‘high society’!” Laughed the music man, his polka dot shirt unbuttoned and revealing an extremely hairy chest. It wasn’t hard to avert her eyes from anything but his wild expression, but as she gave it more scrutiny, she could see he meant no harm. “Hey super, when you said we had another tenant I thought you were finally letting ponies in.” Leaning his head forward, Alfred slipped his hands behind him and replaced his head against the wall. “Maybe I’d have some neeeeeiiiiigh-bors.” The pun was awful, but Violet could hear a chuckle emanate from the old couple. The superintendent shook his head, but soon leaned forward. “No...” he breathed. Even from here, the sour stench of alcohol hung on his lips. “This is my building. No goddammed ponies will be in my building. It was built for humans, for fuck’s sake.” He cursed, slamming a fist against the table, a loud snap could be heard from the maple desk, but the super paid it no mind. “And it’ll stay that way ‘till my fuckin’ last breath.” Violet felt uncomfortable. She always did around anyone angry - it didn’t even have to be at her. She never watched movies like that, either. The idea of hate for hate’s sake... She eyed the superintendent’s vest a moment. Adorned on it was something that took her breath away as suddenly as a lightning strike. The seal of the HLF. She had heard about them from the news and radio reports on her commutes to work, how they claimed to want to save the humans from the ponies and denied any radical involvement from attacks on pony kind. While Violet was certain not all of them were primarily evil, or hate filled, or whatever... She knew that kind rage at the mere mention of the new sentient race was enough to send a shiver down her spine. “Hey, you, Rose or whatever.” The superintendent spat, saliva and alcohol spraying over his desk. “You lookin’ at my badge?” He challenged. A strange look adorned his vision as he looked at her up and down. “Violet.” She corrected, trying to keep her cool. “And no, not really. Caught my eye for a second.” She lied, mentally berating herself for staring like a deer in the headlights of a car. Her mind wandered against her will, wondering if the man before her tried to do that with any ponies, but she banished the idea as the superintendent stood up suddenly, causing her to jump slightly. He wasn’t a large man, as it turned out. To be honest, she had only come over to the building from phone calls, and he seemed so happy to hear from her. But now - he seemed dangerous. Still, his less imposing size littled him in front of Violet. Calming her nerves, she let herself meet his gaze unassumingly, if only for a moment. “Hey now, Freddie, calm down, we’re cool with ya.” Alfred chuckled, switching his feet around on the chair. Harold seemed to be more interested in what little was happening outside of the window. With such contrasts over the room, Violet didn’t know what to expect, but to her appeasement the super sat back down, huffing slightly. “Fuckin’ pony-lovin’ bitch.” He swore, eliciting an eye-roll from the young woman. It was just like her father, really. “But yer human, so I guess it counts for something.” He coughed, lightly at first, but it quickly devolved into huge gasps followed by whooping coughs. It escalated so quickly that Violet didn’t realize it when Alfred jumped to his feet, running over to Fred and trying to help him calm down. “Geddawayfrome!” The super shouted, before coughing harder. Harold continued to stare out into the city, his gaze fixed on a floating pegasus, mailbags strapped to it’s side as it flew overhead. Violet stood up slowly, heading to the phone cautiously. As soon as Fred’s cough turned to a hack, and blood started to mix with his spit, she made the call. ----- Judy and Harold left after that, and Alfred stayed with Fred for awhile before he died of complications. Apparently years of smoking and other nasty habits had nearly torn his lungs apart, and the culmination had finally broken down and taken his body. After that Alfred and Violet spent every other day just reminiscing on old times, what lives they had led before the escape of ponyism took away their dying world. Now it was silent, even in this high rise apartment, where only the wealthiest of people could of lived. It no longer creaked and groaned with life. She used to stomp her foot hard against the ground, the music man responding in kind, to give the place some semblance of life - but that had stopped a week ago. Her whole building seemed to have stopped. Violet stared out at her city. Albuquerque used to be so beautiful to her, but now most of the buildings seemed vacant. The lifeless eyes of her city stared at her in her tower of man. Walking over to a sliding glass door, she stepped out into the open air, taking in the smells of her city. It was different now - so very different. The sounds of motorists were faint if not nonexistent. At least I’m human. For whatever that’s worth. She scanned the city, specks of pastel pegasus dotting the skies as they played or worked from what she could see through a fog. Some were simply enjoying the wind beneath their wings as they cruised the cityscape, leaving Violet with an empty feeling that matched her city. Turning, she made for the inside of her home. “Down bellloooowww!” Cried a voice, causing the pajama-clad girl to whip violently around to see a clumsy pegasi fluttering about, trying to get the hang of descending. Violet looked wildly about, trying to find something to help the pegasus’ landing, but her balcony had been bare since she moved in - the idea of enjoying her city had fallen through once she had felt it stare back at her. Rushing to find an aid, she didn’t get very far before the full force of pony collided with her back as they rolled through her door and into the padded carpeting of her home. It took a moment for Violet to react further, feathers strewn about and hanging from her untidy hair, she rubbed her nose slightly as her mind focused on what happened. “Total wipeout.” The pegasus called, causing Violet’s mind to sharpen. Spinning around, she stared down the pegasus, hands on her hips as she gave him a look that could freeze time. “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” She screamed, pointing toward the door. “Get the hell outta my home before I rip your feathers off and punt you off my balcony!” She threatened, her mind not going over the logistics on how that might not exactly work. She was pissed - and she had every right to be. “Whooooa, girly.” The orange pegasus laughed, getting up on four hooves, a smile playing on his expression. The way his hooves hit the carpet made a lovely swooshing sound that Violet decided to ignore. “No need to get uppity with me.” “Get. Out.” She said again, taking a step forward. The stallion laughed slightly, which hit a chord with Violet. It seemed familiar. Catching sight of the wild expression, the gears in her head started to crank into motion. Slamming a hoof against the ground, it reverberated the apartment slightly as he cracked a smile. “Come on, Violet, I’m still new to the whole flying thing!” “Al...” She breathed, slamming a hand to her forehead. The pony in question spun around on four hooves a couple times, as if proudly displaying himself like a model. His tail swooshed around every which way, but what was probably the most striking feature was his mane, which like his human self, was full of curls and unkempt strands sticking out at odd angles. “Look, Violet, I didn’t mean to crash into ya like this, but I couldn’t get into my apartment through my window and and... Well, the scanners outside don’t let me in.” He muttered sheepishly. Violet kept her stare on as she briefly considered if a pony could be a sheep, but realized a person could give a sheepish look, so a pony could too. “I’m kinda surprised you’re still here though, I woulda thought after my note-” Violet’s eyes widened slightly. “Note?” She echoed. Alfred turned his head slightly before continuing. “Yeah, V, my note. I stuck it on my door before leaving for the camp - didn’t you check?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Violet looked a bit sheepish - which really just proved her earlier assumption - as she shook her head. “You didn’t check.” He said, his voice deadpan. “Hey now, you could of stuck it on my door!” She defended, pointing to the door to her apartment as she did. “You stopped responding in the morning, so I thought you just plain left after Fred died, Alfred! You two were friends, or something!” Waving her hands about wildly, Alfred followed her fingers, raising a hoof and inspecting it thoughtfully. “You’re not even listening!” She cried, once again slamming a palm against her face. “What? Oh, yes I was. Sorta. Look.” Flapping his wings a couple times, he made a gesture with his hooves that cut the line of thought before landing on his hooves again. “I shoulda come by and told ya, but I wasn’t even sure I was going to go through with it. But when I got there - guess who I saw?” Violet raised an eyebrow, shaking her head and shrugging. “I dunno, Al, who did you see?” “Harold and Judy! And Harold was as lucid as can be!” Alfred exclaimed, hoping a bit on his hooves. Violet looked taken aback - she hadn’t really noticed that Harold wasn’t all there - just quiet. She didn’t know any of the tenants, really, before the meeting... or after. Except Alfred, really. “We shot the wind for a bit and they convinced me to give it a try-” “A try? There’s no going back from being a pony, Al. There’s only doing and not doing. And you most certainly did!” Violet’s outburst surprised even her, and her hand moved from her forehead to her mouth, before shaking violently. “I’m- I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from. This is just... well, I thought I wasn’t gonna see anyone I knew again.” She admitted, working her way over to the couch. She sat there awhile, Alfred looking her over a bit before walking to the edge of the furniture and sitting on his haunches. “Are they coming back here too? Harold and Judy. Now that Fred, y’know...” The orange pony shook his head. “Nah, they mentioned about heading to their summer home and picking up some things. Pictures or something like that. Then they’re heading off to Equestria.” He said sadly, shaking his mane. Violet looked up, having been cradling her head in her hands. “Is that what you are here to do, too?” She sniffed. She hadn’t expected this to hit her like it did. Her friends had left to tears, sure, but it always got easier. These were people she barely knew, and now... Now it hurt all over again. “Are you just pick up your stuff and... leave?” She choked out, trying to regain herself. It wasn’t working. Al shook his head sadly. There was no use lying about it. Gathering herself into a straight face, Violet nodded slowly, her neck stiff. “Alright then.” She shot to her feet, Al calling after her to wait a moment. Ignoring him, she made for the door, opening it and looking back. “Come on, you aren’t going to be able to open the damn door without me.” Her voice like stone, Al sighed and followed behind. ----- Her arms were crossed, but they were grasping at her sides like a tight hug. Violet watched Alfred go about slowly, pulling out a pair of saddlebags he had bought prior to ponification. “Bullshit...” Violet coughed. There was no letter on the door when she got there, although the pegasi had flown ahead. Al was going to get ponified the moment he left. He must of been. Sniffing as softly as she could, she still caught the attention of Alfred, who shook his head sadly, wishing she would just leave him now - but to be honest he’d be trapped in his own apartment if she closed the door behind her, so he endured her cold stare. As he went about moving things, he found himself caring less and less for things he thought he couldn’t live without, but still he nabbed a few pictures off the shelf, for sentimental value. Doing so earned a scoff from Violet, and Alfred sighed. “I... am sorry, V. For not telling you upfront.” He confessed, placing what he believed to be his final item in the saddlebag. “I just...” “Save it, Alfred. You wanted to be a pony, and you didn’t care about some girl in the floor above you.” She shot back, shaking her head. “Are you finished yet? I’d like to get back home.” Violet’s cold look sent a shiver down Al’s spine. The pegasus merely nodded slowly, then turned to his saddlebags, eyeing them. Stick his nose through, he attempted to move himself into the bags, but found himself with some difficulty. Slamming his hoof down, he tussled and wrestled with the bags until he found himself on his back, his wings and tail completely tangled. Struggling for a bit, he found he had somehow got two hooves stuck in one of the straps and had pulled the strap tight around them, severely limiting his movement and, in all essences, gotten stuck. “Wha...” He breathed, flailing his wing around in an attempt to swing himself around. “Oh crimany.” Violet looked on in amusement as the orange pony rattled against the ground, the sounds of him hitting the floor resonating in her ears. Closing her eyes, she stomped a foot down on the ground in unconscious response. Alfred paused, swiveling his neck around to view Violet, whose frigid expression had melted to that of a content smile. After a moment’s hesitation, he lay against the ground, lifting his good back hoof up, supporting his weight, before crashing his flank on the ground again with a dull thump. Violet slammed the ground a second time with her feet. And thus he did again, and she stomped again. They did that routine for close to an hour, simply hitting their bodies against the ground, tears of merriment raining down from Violet’s closed eyes. Finally Alfred fell to the ground in a slump, his leg too tired and his flank too bruised to continue. Opening her eyes, Violet could see the poor colt heaving tiredly from the effort, and smiled warmly. Walking over to him, she tutted mockingly. “How will you ever survive in Equestria. You can’t fly, you can’t dress yourself, you can’t even stand up right!” She laughed once, before dissolving into a giggling fit as she knelt down to Alfred, helping untangle the pony from his trap. A low chuckle escaped from Alfred as he lay his head on the ground. “Yeah. But I can make people laugh.” Violet took a moment, leaning looking over at Alfred’s face. A couple tears rolled down his face as a large, closed smile was pressed on his equine features. Pulling a strap back, Alfred felt his hooves free, and Violet extracted the saddlebags. As she did, an envelope fell out the side, causing the woman to lean over and pick it up. “Now what’s this...?” She said, raising it up for Alfred to see. “To Violet. Ah, your letter to me!” She sang, giving Alfred an unreadable look. “Well, it’s nothing much, Violet, I’m here right now so I can tell you the contents of it easily. You can trash the gosh darn thing right away-” Silenced by a rip in the paper, Violet did the opposite as she was told as she extracted the letter. Alfred winced visibly as she unfolded one third of it, causing her to look at him with amusement. “Why, Alfred, I could say that you don’t want me to read it now.” She teased, before folding it back. He nodded slowly, his cheeks blushing madly. Sensing it was a fairly personal letter, she decided it could wait - people always tended to do weird things before making a massive change in their life. In Alfred’s case, it was becoming a three foot tall pegasus. “Well alright, but I’m keeping my hands on it.” She informed, opening up her shirt and sticking it between her skin and bra. “Where you won’t dare reach for it with your only working appendage.” She mentioned, chattering her teeth to prove a point. “Yeesh, alright.” Alfred cried, his orange color turning a pink shade along his muzzle. However, his thoughts were interrupted as once again Violet’s hands were on him, this time setting the saddlebags on straight. “Oh! Ahem. Well, thanks.” He muttered, wincing as she pressed against his bruised flank. “No problem. Nice cutie mark, by the way, I didn’t notice it before.” She mentioned idly, tightening the last strap. However, as she didn’t have time to actually let go of it before it was ripped from her hand as the colt was currently spinning in place violently. “My cutie mark?!” He exclaimed, craning his neck. “Confound these wings! What’s it look like!?” Violet merely sat back, shaking her head. “It’s a sign from theater.” She mentioned, giving it a poke as he passed by, which caused him to yelp and jump straight up and down. “Whoops, sorry. Anyway, there are generally two plays, tragedy and comedy. You, sir Alfred, have comedy plastered on your ass.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Which really, tragedy would of fit just as well.” She teased, sending herself into another giggling fit, much to Alfred’s displeasure, until he looked back at his mark, this time moving his wing out of the way. There it was, wrapped with ribbon around it, was the image for a smiling face - which looked just fine, stylized like an equine. Allowing Violet finish her much needed giggles, he let her pick herself up and dust off her pants. “Thank you, Violet.” He said simply, before gesturing toward the door with his hoof. “After you.” Violet turned toward the door, and then back to her friend, waving her arms in a ‘no way’ fashion. “You forgot your other saddlebag. You’ve only got the one on.” She said, gesturing toward the empty bag in the corner. Alfred turned to look at it, and shrugged. “I didn’t get it for me.” He said simply, trotting out the door. Violet looked blankly on for a moment, before dawning came over her features. Jogging over, she picked up the saddlebag and slung it over her shoulder, unsure of what to do with it. Maybe she would need it down the line, but first she was going to go beat Alfred for such a cheesy line. ----- “So, now that I have a matching bruise...” Alfred glared at the amused woman who sat at her kitchen counter. “I think it’s time to take my leave.” A cold wind filled the room from the open glass door, echoing his finality. The smile started to fade from Violet’s face. Looking at the pegasus pony, she nodded slowly. “Well...” He began, as if he didn’t know where to end. “What’s your name?” She asked. “I’m sorry?” Alfred asked, taken aback. Violet rolled her eyes. “Your pony name. Almost everypony I’ve talked to changed their name to something whimsical. Not many ponies native to Equestria are gonna react well to a pegasus named Alfred.” Regretfully, the pegasus shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t given it any thought.” Tilting his head, the pony’s face brightened. “How about ‘Mousse’? I love that stuff.” Violet’s eyes feel to half-moons as she gave the orange pegasus a once over. “Aaaaah - alright then, how about, um...” “Chuckles.” Violet blurted. “You got the laughing thing there, and it’ll let you revert to Chuck. It’s a far cry from Alfred, sure, but you got something normal to your ears.” She mentioned. “Chuckles.” He echoed, dead pan. “Chuckles. Really.” His face melted, though, as he kept saying it. “Chuckles. Chuck-les. Well alrighty, Mr. Chuckles.” Breaking out in a smile, he applauded his hooves along the ground. “I guess I’m Chuckles again.” The pegasus nodded his head to the idea. “Yeah, but you’re Alfred while you’re here. Speaking of Alfred...” She produced the letter that was addressed to her. “An Alfred gave me this here letter. Now I wonder what it says...” Looking up, Alfred read her face, a look of fear spreading on his own. “AHEM!” She shouted. “DEAR VIOLET!” She warned, looking from the letter to the pegasus, but the pony in question had already bolted, a speck along the city skyline. Placing the letter down, she walked toward the glass shutter, sliding it closed as she saw the pegasi dot the sky. “Heh. See ya, Chuckles.” Violet saw her city once more, looking at it differently than she had previous. Her city was dead. But the signs of life she was looking for where all wrong to what was in front of her. It wasn’t her city. Closing her eyes, she nodded in affirmation. This city lived. Differently now, but it was alive all the same. Lowering her head, a small smile crept on her features as she slammed her leg against the ground one last time, letting the silence of the action rain down on her. A tear rolling down her face, she walked back to the table picking up the letter. She gave it a quick look, before standing up and stretching. Looking out the large plate glass windows, her smiled grew. Turning, she raised the letter up to her face to read as she approached her door, opened it, and took off into the clear, sunny day. Her saddlebag draped across her shoulders. To the Bureau! * * * Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail Part VII By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze The morning came like any other. Groggily, purple hair poked itself out from under a comforter, knowing full well the blast of sunlight that would greet it’s sensitive vision. Shuffling a moment, the ideas of ‘five more minutes’ fell flat on the girl’s wishes when memories of the day before flooded her senses, causing the human girl to shoot up in her bed, looking about wildly. “Three years...” Violet murmured. The concept was so new still - that she had let it all run together for three years without pause - she dreamed of her old life. Smiling, she leaned her hands back on the bed staring up at the hole at the top of the Wal-Mart that Twinkle tore open in the night. She missed her friends. Evan, Keenan, Christina... Perhaps, once she got to Colorado Springs, toward the final Conversion Bureau’s in the nation, she could see them again. “‘Bout time you got up, V,” a light hearted voice called out. Spinning slightly, Violet found Rusty muddling about in the shopping cart, looking about for food. “It’s been a silent morning. Outside of Twinkle’s snoring.” Violet turned to see the pale pink pony in the bed next to hers, the formerly silent unicorn belting out a uncharacteristic snore that echoed throughout the store. “Jesus...!” Violet breathed, a chuckle playing on her lips. “I didn’t think anyone could snore that loud.” Spinning her body slightly, she quickly felt the warmth of the bed leave her, and she looked back upon it. Next to her lay the prone form of Rose, the girl who’s own life changed drastically over the last two days as well. Hesitating to move much more in fear of waking her, Violet eventually shifted herself to the tones of another monster snore. Her bare feet grazed upon the ground below, the ripped carpeting reminding her of her own back at the apartment. A sad smile found itself on her lips, one that didn’t go unnoticed by the red Earth pony. “Say, Violet, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what are your plans?” Rusty mused, trying to get a dialogue going. Gently moving his hooves so the most force was on his forelegs, Violet was reminded of the wounds he scored during the excitement the day before. Rushing forward, Violet found herself in the confusing position of wanting to help him, but being completely unable to fathom how. Rusty chuckled as he simply fell to his haunches and splayed his legs, his forehooves falling forward and covering his underbelly. Violet smirked slightly, and keeping her eyes from wandering on curiosity, slid her back down on Twinkle’s bed as she sat next to the stallion. “Plans...” She echoed, running her hand through the frazzles strands of hair on her head. She had been almost unconsciously dying her hair for a long time, and it felt exactly how she’d expected three years of dye jobs to feel. Shaking her head, Violet shrugged. “No plans. Never had a plan in life. Act, perform, and live. S’far as I ever really let myself think.” Her head fell back on the soft bed, reminding her skin of the bed and triggering her laziness. Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine what she’d look like as a pony, trying to keep herself to the idea of just a simple Earth pony. “Ponies never seem to have plans, though. Just... happy gallivanting. It’s a surprise it took me so long to consider it for myself,” Violet mentioned, picking her head off the bed. Another snore issued from Twinkle above her, causing a chuckle and a giggle to emanate from the two new friends. Sighing longingly, Violet elbowed Rusty playfully. “How about you? You never really told me what your plan was; simply hopping in a truck with some crybaby human girl? What’s the angle there? Hoping to get with me once I go pony?” Cheeks red from the teasing, although completely unseen under his natural color, Rusty shook his head violently from the accusation. “No! Not my angle! Um.” As he defended himself, the pony’s mind drew a blank, allowing an awkward silence to permeate the area a bit as he coughed uneasily. Chuckling, Violet again pushed against the red pony. “Aw, don’t be like that, Red.” Her hand reached out and tossed Rusty’s mane about, his entire being a beacon for ‘ginger ponies’, almost as much as he was when he was a human. “Just lemme in on your reasoning here. You gotta admit, taking off on a one-way trip with a chick and a pony you don’t know? Kinda sketchy.” Rusty smirked, starting to understand the girl’s standard of humor for once. “I wouldn’t call it one way, Violet. I planned on coming back.” “How so?” Violet interrupted, an assuming smile playing on her features. Rusty turned to her with a confused look, mane scraping along the edge of the bed as another one of Twinkle’s snores vibrated the bed frame. “You can’t exactly drive a truck.” Rusty paused, putting a hoof to his snout. “Can’t... exactly.... Damn it.” Face falling, the pony realized a fairly large hole in his logic. “I can’t...” Violet laughed heartily, covering her mouth a moment later for the sake of Rose and Twinkle. Rusty averted his eyes completely from the laughing human, and he could feel his cheeks radiating red from the mistake. “You mean.... to tell me you forgot you couldn’t drive?” “No! Not... exactly.” Rusty cut in, shaking his mane about. “I just... forgot you wouldn’t be able to drive back.” Sighing through his nose, the pony finally leaned his head back on the bedspread, his neck craning up toward the ceiling. “I guess Twinkle could push the gas down and I could drive - or you could, if you go unicorn. Or maybe...” “Maybe...?” Violet echoed, her face returning to the assuming smile. Rusty was quickly learning not to like that look. Exhaling briefly, the pony’s forelimb draped lazily along the ground, falling off his chin. “Well, my sister moved to Equestria about two years back, she and her family. I’ve always been meaning to go - get to see my little niece... Conversion Bureau’s always have shuttles to Equestria for the newfoals.” “So you wanna see your sissy and her little pony. Cute.” Violet smirked. There was a moment of silence between the two, sitting in the morning light through the hole in the ceiling. Eventually, however, Rusty felt a knock on his skull, and he turned to see Violet shaking her head and smiling. “Don’t give me that ‘no plan’ shit. You knew as soon as Twinkie here said there was still a Bureau in Colorado Springs that you were losing your easy shot to see your family,” Violet gathered, remembering Twinkle’s Bureau was the last to close in Albuquerque. Rusty gave her a look, but it softened slowly as he nodded his head. “That makes sense, doesn’t it?” He laughed, putting his forehooves together in a clop. “I guess you’re probably right, there was little reason else to just... up and go like that.” “You mean to tell me you don’t even know what you’re up to half the time? Sounds dangerous, even for a pony,” Violet teased, picking herself up off the ground. Stretching her limbs, the human girl found that the snoring had stopped as she spread herself out in a five-point star. Rusty rolled his head around in response, stifling a yawn as he did so. “Keeps things interesting, I guess. I think you’re right though, I am Equestria bound.” “Mmmmmmmmmreally...?” The strained, half yawn, half stretched voice of Twinkle filled the air around them as the sleeping unicorn attempted to remove herself from the sheets. Failing that, the pink pony rustled up next to the end of the bed and peered down at the resting Earth pony and his human friend. “That’s where I was going, too.” Rusty chuckled, shaking his mane. “I figured that. Good morning, Twinkle.” Violet echoed his sentiments, which Twinkle responded to in kind. “Good morning, all. Mm!” She stretched, her horn sputtering to life as she attempted a second time to remove herself from the sheets. “How long have we been asleep for?” Greeted with a chorus of negative responses regarding the time, the unicorn chuckled. “Well, I suppose that’s to be expected. Humans never seemed to wear watches by the time we came around. Just those celled phones.” Violet smirked. “Cell phones. Really, Twinkle, how long have you been running a Bureau?” The question brought the concept of her earlier conversation to its new recipient, and Twinkle brought a hoof to her chin in much the way Rusty did. “Well, Violet, I believe the key lies in the question. I ran Bureaus, but I never got to really interact with the people there as much as I’d like to.” Yawning, the unicorn finally pulled the sheet from around her limbs, and the shaky pony leapt off the bed and unto the floor with a muffled pitapat of hooves. A slight bag still hung under the filly’s eyes, remnants of the dark events that transpired the day before. “I really only have a vague understanding of human novelties, so you’ll have to forgive me if I seem a bit dull to start.” Violet smiled warmly, bending her knees as she crouched next to Twinkle. “You aren’t that dull at all, Twink. A little ‘tea on the lawn’, but that’s just the way you are.” Pressing against the unicorn’s horn a bit with her finger, Violet took note of the strange sensation the magical appendage delivered to her hand as she touched it. “Besides, with a brilliant little tool this is, no one is gonna think you’re anything short of stellar.” “Thank you for the compliment, Violet. Always nice to start the morning feeling appreciated.” Placing a hoof on Violet’s shoulder, she delicately tapped Violet’s forehead with her horn as a sign of affection for the human girl. “Might I add you are simply extraordinary yourself, hearing about your exploits yesterday. Excuse me if I say, of course, that I am quite happy I was not at all ‘there’, so to speak’, for it.” Her eyes darkened slightly, averting her gaze from the form on the bed nearby. Violet peered over to the sleeping girl, sitting on the bed next to her. “It’s not something I want to relive.” Violet murmured. “I just reacted. It’s what I’ve always done. I hope she can forgive me.” Reaching out, Violet stopped from touching Rose just barely, drawing her hand back as she sighed and shook her head. “I wonder what she’ll do now.” Rusty pondered this himself, shrugging his shoulders slightly. “I suppose she can go back to the rest of the humans. She’s shown that we were still a pretty good bunch, she and you, despite some of the vocal ones.” Sliding a hoof along the ground, he winced slightly at the unwelcome pain that issued from his back hoof. “There must be friendly people she can stay with.” Violet nodded solemnly. She wasn’t in agreement with the idea, but there was little she could add to it. “I wonder what they thought of her brother. She’ll have to probably answer to that, if they didn’t already find his body. A semi-truck falling a hundred feet and crashing an expressway doesn’t exactly go unnoticed.” Scratching her chin, Violet looked over to the ponies, pondering the ideas for the human girl. “Maybe we can pass by an IHSA branch...” Twinkle paused her, giving a confused look toward the girl. “IHSA?” The way it came out of her mouth was, “Ehsa”, drawing befuddlement from the two Equines. “International Human Survival Alliance, y’know, IHSA.” Violet muttered, shaking her head. “Y’know, kinda like the HLF except not trying to kill you?” Rusty chuckled. “No, we know who they are, I don’t think we ever heard someone say ehsa when referring to the I-H-S-A.” Picking himself up, the red pony winced visibly, but waived off the girls as she made move to put him back on his haunches. “Girls, I gotta be able to go to point A and point B, so just drop it - I’ll live with the bruises.” As he spoke, he kept lifting a limb and leaning on his forelimbs, trying to keep himself from dealing with too much at once as he hopped on the bed, taking comfort in the bed’s soft cushions. “I don’t think they’re active in New Mexico, but I do know they’re western branch is in Colorado Springs.” Violet’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? That’s... horridly convenient.” Rusty chuckled, shaking his head slowly as he lay on his belly. Twinkle, however, was the one to speak up. “Not exactly. The IHSA often helps ponies and people both, with no catches. In fact, some of the higher ups out here are ponies themselves. I have a friend there who I’ve wanted to see for awhile.” Violet smirked. “So that’s why you decided to tag along?” “That, and to help you, Violet.” Twinkle related, causing the human to be embarrassed slightly. Sensing her discomfort in being the main reason, Twinkle merely shrugged with a sheepish smile. “You looked so downtrodden, Violet, I felt like I had to help.” Violet sighed. “I know, and you have another reason. Just don’t really feel like being a charity case.” Shrugging it off, Violet reached out to Rose a second time, placing a hand on the other girls’ shoulder. “Well, I think we’d best just ask her what she feels like doing. Not like we have any say in the matter.” “Best Goddamned idea I’ve heard all morning.” Rose muttered, suddenly shifting in the bed to look at Violet. It was clear the girl hadn’t been asleep for a length of time. “But I appreciate your concern. You’re all looking better.” She muttered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as they adjusted to the light from the ceiling. “You bitch, how long have you been up?” Violet muttered, feeling a slight twang of regret the moment she finished her thought. Rose’s arm shot over and snatched up the pillow Violet had used, and propped herself up on her own tower of pillows. “Long enough not to care about being called a bitch in the morning, thanks.” Rusty pawed at the side of his bed, trying not to think about what Twinkle thought about all the language being tossed around. “So, Rose, uhm... holding up alright?” He guessed, figuring it was best to get the elephant out of the Wal-Mart as quick as possible. The girl sighed through her nose slowly, shaking her head. “As alright as it’s gonna be for awhile, pony. Although thanks for the tact.” Rolling her eyes, Rose moved herself around checking her leg a moment as it popped out of cover. “Look, I know this is gonna sound weird, but I’d rather not think about my brother for awhile, so the less you bring him up, the happier I’ll be.” Flicking her bandage a moment, she gaped at how much the subtle reaction hurt, prompting Violet to grab her shoulder quickly to check if she was alright. “Fine! God, Jesus Christ... Yeah, just, don’t fucking touch that if you can help it.” Cursing a couple more times, the blonde human shook herself a couple times to compose the rest of her. “God, we’re gonna have to redress it and everything in a bit. Uhm, Twinkle, right?” “Yes, you’re right,” Twinkle responded, her horn glowing softly. “Don’t worry about the pain too much, I’ll try and handle what I can with magic. Although we should get you somewhere that can help stitch it up better than what we’ve done...” She trailed, averting her eyes from the wound. The blood had leaked through the outer layer of bandage, the dried red-brown liquid making the unicorn’s stomach queasy. Rusty, on the other hand, found it a bit more difficult to actually look away from it. “Sorry I can’t help with that, Rose,” He explained, “But really, I don’t think we should hang around here much longer. Do you have any place to be? Want us to... take you anywhere in particular?” There was a soft silence that descended after his words, the group of four considering the ideas presented previous. Being Rose’s decision, the others kept their mouths shut. Rose eventually sighed. “Fuck, let’s go to Colorado Springs. Maybe the old lift up to Pike’s Peak still works. Always wanted to see that.” Twinkle greeted this with a flashing smile, but Violet seemed a bit on edge about it. Regardless, it was Rusty who gathered the girls up and galvanized them into action. “Well, Twinkle, Violet, bein’ the only two of sound mind and body, I believe you two have a little work to do so your poor, damaged, weak companions can get from here to the car in relative comfort...” Rusty murmured, throwing on some mock sadness for the girls. Twinkle looked a bit unsure, but Violet got up and rapped him one right above the mane. “Yowch! Yeesh, kidding, kidding!” “Yeah, I bet you were. Come on Twink, let’s help Mr. Poor and Weak to his wheelchair,” Violet muttered, pushing against the red pony and flipping him on his side, Rusty complaining the entire way. ----- Wound re-bandaged and ponies in back, the black truck took off from the parking lot as the clock on board let the group of four take off into the afternoon sun with its human passengers sitting in the cabin. At first, Rusty argued the fact, but the point of the matter relied on Violet’s assessment of seatbelts and damaged hooves. Rusty was still dealing with a damaged forelimb, no matter how he tried to hide it, and a hasty stop would see him without a seatbelt and having to hold himself on the dashboard. At least in the back he could rest up against the back of the truck. Beaten and literally bruised, the red pony took to the back with the help of Twinkle and Violet, and found himself quite happy with an assortment of pillows and comforters that Twinkle had lined the back with, including a mattress for them to lay on. “I’m actually kind of jealous of them, now.” Rose muttered to herself, leaning her seat back slightly as she adjusted it to her more human settings. “A mattress, pillows, blankets... Why the hell was he complaining?” She whined, much to Violet’s pleasure. Whining was a state of normalcy to the elder human, and showed that Rose was telling the truth about her brother - she wasn’t all that close to the monster that stalked the roadway. “So, Violet, pretty sure to say you’re gonna be a pony by next week.” Violet gave Rose a sad, apologetic look, but the blonde waved it away. “Yeah, yeah I guess I am. I never was against the whole thing, I just... never saw much reason. I’m human, y’know? No reason not to be.” Rose nodded a couple times, digesting the idea. “So what’s changed? For you, I mean. What’s the big reason that turns a healthy looking girl with purple hair and a history in theatre from people to pony?” Violet raised an eyebrow as she turned unto the main expressway again, this time on the lookout for blockades and damaged stonework. “What I mean is... why now? Is it really ‘cause of your friend, Albert?” “Ah.” Violet breathed, running a hand through her hair. “Well... Geez, I’m not... It was yesterday, I guess.” Rose gave Violet a look, but she quickly backtracked. “Before, um, that happened. It was Albert, just... not really him.” Placing a hand on her head, the girl closed her eyes a moment as the road straightened out before them. “He was... the last one. The last human I knew. The rest all left. And then it kinda... hit me when he came back for me. I could never get it out of my head, Rose. That the people... the ponies coming out of the Bureau’s... They’re still the same people. They’ll still love movies, books, video games - stupid videos you find online.” Rose chuckled at that, her arm raised up and leaned on the open window, cradling her head lightly. “So you don’t mind that they no longer have those ‘negative emotions’ shtick?” She needled, not turning her head at all toward Violet. “It’s bullshit.” That got Rose’s attention. “I’ve already seen enough ponies to see the seven deadly sins in any of them, let alone dark emotions. They’re just, I dunno, more balanced. Less likely to go off the deep end in any scenario, good or bad.” Checking the fuel gage, Violet started to experiment with all the little gadgets at the truck’s disposal, but paid more mind to the idea of MPG than anything else. “I just never cared about any of that, really. You could get something akin to that by never leaving your apartment for three years.” As they drove on, Rose became more silent, her mind elsewhere. The truck roared along the road, Violet keeping her eyes on the road for a change. ----- “It’s kinda windy.” Twinkle sighed, trying to cover herself more completely into the blanket. Violet had helped tuck the two ponies in, using the mattress and the ponies own body weight to keep the bed and the blankets intact during the drive. Rusty smirked as she nestled closer to him, attempting to pass the time while also keeping warm. However, their heads were near the edge of the truck nearest the window, and in such their heads floated in a cone of air that wasn’t threatened by screaming wind. “Why did today have to be cold?” “‘Cause here, we only predict the weather, not change it.” Rusty joked, testing his forelimb slightly against the side of the truck bed. It hurt, but nothing like it had the day before. He probably had Twinkle’s medical magic to thank for it, he mused, before spinning back to face the unicorn in question. “Although don’t you have some kinda spell you can use to... I dunno, cancel the wind?” Twinkle looked a little cross, but relented as she shook her head. “No, Rusty. I know I have magic, but it’s really not all encompassing. There are plenty of things I can do... but so much more I can’t. And wind cancelling is one of the things. I. Can’t. Do.” As she ended her sentence, her hooves hit Rusty’s stomach in succession. Not hard, but the chilly appendages found warmth against the flailing hooves of the red pony, much to the gleeful giggling of the unicorn. “But you can cancel the wind’s effects quite nicely!” She screamed over his convulsions. “Not fair! Not fair! Knocking a colt when he’s down! I thought ponies were nice! You’re cruel! Evil!” Rusty complained, his hooves flying every which way but towards Twinkle, the two enjoying the moment of friendship - one obviously more than the other. As the two tussled about, a short rapping came from the front, interrupting the two ponies moment of childlike fun. Raising his last good hoof out, Rusty slid the back window open, allowing the two in the front to communicate. “Uh. What’s up... up... there?” Twinkle giggled at the embarrassed ponies speech, which really didn’t help the colt’s disposition. Violet’s voice cut the wind quite well. “We got a helicopter incoming. Can’t tell from here if they’re with the HLF at all. Cover yourselves up a bit better, don’t want to attract unwanted attention!” The two ponies stared at each other, Twinkle’s pale blue eyes showing she had no intention of reliving yesterday’s struggle, despite being out for most of it. Horn sparking to life, the unicorn evened the blanket out a quarter inch above their bodies, making the back of the truck bed look completely devoid of life. As a result, however, the wind over the ponies was cut down dramatically, only allowing a faint wisp grace their pastel coats. “Well there’s your wind cancel spell.” Rusty joked. Twinkle stuck her tongue out at him in response, giving the Earth pony a slight kick to his stomach, which shut him up quickly as he leaned forward. “‘Kay... Gotcha...” The whirring blades of the helicopter came gently over the sound of the wind, Violet taking no time to slow down to let an investigative pilot catch much more than a passing glimpse on them. She wanted no trouble, and by George, she wasn’t gonna let them make any for her. As they sped along, the helicopter got louder, the tracking eyes of Twinkle trying to follow the sounds as best as she could with an inquisitive ear. Rusty watched her inquisitively, trying to gather just what he was seeing on her. Apprehension? Fear? “No...” He breathed. It was something else. Underlying, just below the surface. Reaching out, Rusty laid his good hoof on her shoulder. She was fidgeting. However, it was clear to him as her eyes shifted from the edges of the blanket to the pony sharing the back with her. It was terror. She only had a taste of things yesterday, and it didn’t suit her one bit. And yet, here they were, again looking down another dangerous situation. Another chance of the unknown. Rusty cooed slightly, attempting to calm the mare. “Hang on, it’ll just pass, Twinkle. It’s just going to pass. Everything will be fine.” His eyes held hers firmly. He wasn’t going to let her look away. “It’s just going to past. Everything is going to be just fine.” The blades whirled closer, the noise seemingly deafening. The engine of the helicopter could be heard now. That high pitched whine penetrating their cotton defense. The whirling turned into a roar. And then it passed. The copter flew by overhead, apparently uninterested in the lone truck that was northeasterly bound for out of the city’s suburbs. The vehicle itself seemed to relax as the wheels laxed slightly, Violet’s white knuckle grip on the wheel relaxing as the purple haired human watched the helicopter in the sideview mirror. Rose breathed out slowly, a soft smile playing on her lips as she shook her head incredulously. “Huh. I haven’t seen a helicopter in years,” she breathed. Turning to look at the ponies in the back, all the blonde could see was the straightened sheet on the back. “Alright, ponies. You see anything interesting about that thing?” Relaxing her spell slowly, Twinkle and Rusty caught sight of the helicopter, bearing an insignia unlike that of the Human Liberation Front. Twinkle was the first to breath a sigh of relief before giving the all-clear. “Nothing to report, it wasn’t HLF, though!” She called, relaxing her blanket back to its natural position, attempting to tuck the sheet in again with her magic. Rusty caught the apprehensive look she still held, though, and quickly set about helping out where he could with his one good hoof. “Good to know. Recognize the symbol on it?” Rose called, taking over for Violet to relay commands. There was a minor argument between the two girls, before finally Rusty overheard a “Eyes on the road, V!” The two ponies chuckled at the reprimand, much to Violet’s chagrin. Rusty shook his head, earning an equal response from Twinkle. “Nah! Didn’t get a good angle on it, but it wasn’t anything like the HLF’s. Kinda blue, I guess?” Rusty shrugged his limbs, which, again, Twinkle mimicked herself. “I think it was familiar, but I can’t put a hoof on it. Maybe it was the United States seal for something?” Twinkle guessed, calling loudly. This seemed to placate the humans in the front seat well enough. Feeling the cold wind again, Twinkle rolled closer to Rusty, working off his body heat. “Don’t get any ideas, Rusty. I’m cold, okay?” “No complaints here, Twinkle.” This earned him a playful shove, but the pale pink pony immediately nuzzled closer to the male pony, whom noticed the unicorn was shivering somewhat. Guessing she was colder than she let on, Rusty was reminded that unicorns tended to be a bit more frail compared to other ponies, and as such, she was likely more likely to get cold than a hardened Earth pony like himself. “Kinda wondered why you waited so long.” Twinkle smirked. Looking up at him a moment, she gave him an unreadable smile before leaning down again, her eyes closing as she leaned her horn against his neck. “Makes you think, huh?” As the truck drove off into the distance, the quartet left Albuquerque, destined to never see its borders again. Under the rumble of the engine, Violet spoke of her days as an actress. Rose related her days dealing with various unsuitable boyfriends. Rusty spoke about his work with carpentry, complementing the idea of how oddly easy it was to use a human hammer in his mouth. Twinkle spoke of her family back in Equestria, her parents who she hadn’t seen in years. Behind them, the mysterious aerial vehicle carried on under the whir of its own engine. Letting loose a stream of purple, quickly evaporating liquid upon the city, it aimed for the headquarters of the HLF. The stream of dissolving purple mist splashed down, sizzled and spit as it infiltrated every corner of the network of structures. It moved itself toward the humans as if sentient, preying over those still recovering after a night celebrating the end of consented ponification. The few that were aware of it fled, their screams of terror muted under the rumble of the vehicles engines. * * * Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail Part VIII By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze The basic hum of the road didn’t much alleviate from the drumming boredom that had settled upon the quartet as they drove down the I-25 North in the only car on the highway. The vast, dusty plains held nothing but dotted specks on the horizon, the sight of a bird, a vulture, at one point a pegasus or two broke the monotony of driving in a straight line. Violet mused on the standards of the road, which had kept up quite well over the years, as opposed the the raised concrete expressways that she had seen snaking through her city, like arteries for the heart of her city. Smirking lightly, she likened the cars to blood cells, the police and ambulances the white cells. The sound of sirens was such a foreign thing now - most pony emergencies were dealt with by trained pegasi, with serious injury dealt with a team of unicorns pulled by pegasi carriage. It was a unique thing to see in the sky, an ornate box pulled by winged beasts through the misty skies. She had spoken to Alfred about it once, she remembered. He asked her if she missed the sounds of the city. She hadn’t answered. Turning to the only other human companion she’d had in years, Violet raised a curious eyebrow toward the girl. “So whaddya think that was?” Rose’s eyes opened wide in surprise, her mind elsewhere on the do-nothing road. Looking about, Rose seemed occupied in what Violet was talking about, prompting the purple haired woman to snicker at her compatriots confusion. “The helicopter, Rose. I hadn’t seen one in month-years, even. Maybe two years.” Violet kept mentally reminding herself that more time had passed then she remembered, and it was still a jarring proposal. “What do you think it was for?” Rose shook her head. “Hell if I know, not even the HLF has many of those birds flying around anymore. Finding the fuel is hard to come by these days, so whatever it was must have been... had to be important.” Violet nodded in agreement, leaning her head on her arm. The long flatlands yielded nothing for the girls on the road, Rose taking a momentary look back towards the truck bed. Smirking slightly, the girl bounced back to a forward facing position. “Well, we lost a lump.” Violet raised an eyebrow. “A lump?” “Yep,” Rose nodded, mimicking Violet’s headrest technique, cradling the side of her head in her hand as she leaned on the windowsill. “We used to have two lumps in the back. Now, we have one big one.” Violet hadn’t noticed it before in the dark, but Rose liked to talk with her hands a lot. Swinging her forearms rapidly, she made seemingly random motions that somehow made context in what she said. Thusly, Violet’s eyes went wide. “Y-you’re not saying they’re... in the back...!” Rose laughed - high pitched, but pure - shaking her head violently. “No! No, aw, V, you gotta get your head out of the gutter!” Spinning a cautionary look back, Rose solidified her claim as a pony’s head looked up curiously to find out what the girls were talking about. The long, orange mane flew crazily in the wind, and a pale pink unicorn’s horn shot up next to him, tapping him lightly on the cheek. Looking down, Rusty smirked as he leaned back down. Rose rolled her eyes, but her smile was betraying her real emotion. “Although if we’re not careful...” Violet let loose a single laugh, shaking her head in her hand. “Oh, geez, that’s what I need. Baby-making at 80 miles per hour.” She stifled future laughing, hey eyes scrolling the horizon. As they drove along, Rose let loose a question. “Do you think unicorns have contraceptive magic?” The blonde asked, bringing a hand to her chin. “Wwwwhat?” Violet asked incredulously. She honestly didn’t see the subject coming, but she shook her head. “I, I guess? I don’t know.” As she thought about the subject, she did notice that ponies didn’t seem to have very large family’s regardless, and almost never did she see unwanted fillies and colts. Of course, she never got out much. Rose scratched her chin, moving up to her cheek a bit as she opened her mouth into an ‘O’ shape, as if it made a difference to the itch. “Guess it’s been on my mind. There are only so many condoms left in the world, V, and a girl’s gotta be careful.” Violet couldn’t help but guffaw, girlish giggling never really holding true to her style. “Oh Gaaaawd, Rose, really? Really?” Holding her hand over her mouth, she struggled to keep a hand on the wheel as the truck barreled down the road. “You know what else there’s a shortage of? Boys,” Violet mentioned, trying to remember how many she had seen that didn’t go pony or eventually try and kill her. “Not that that’s going to be my problem by next week.” Rose stuck her tongue out at the girl, deciding to pay more attention to the road ahead. “Yeah, you’ll have colts and stallions to attend to. I’ll probably just latch next to the first single guy I see that isn’t a total monster.” She said, pondering her options. “I’d suppose there aren’t gonna be a lot of total monsters at Colorado Springs, or else they’d have gone pony or gone to work for the HLF.” “Yeah, and there’s always the IHSA branch out there that Twinkle mentioned.” Violet peered her eyes ahead, seeing some sort of vague shape on the horizon that didn’t seem to be just a part of the roadway. She looked to her sides a moment, seeing that the flat expanses - not to mention the numerous roads that ran alongside the I-25, meant that a blockade would probably be useless. “So... you know... there’s that- What is that up ahead?” Passing a sign that read Sante Fe - 2 miles ahead with the appropriate exit number below, Rose leaned forward, her arms leaning against the dashboard, her palm resting over the portion that read AIR BAG in stylized caps. “I think it’s a... tent?” She guessed. Violet echoed her sentiments, but Rose squinted her eyes against the sunlight. “It’s a... big white tent.” Violet raised an eyebrow, her foot subconsciously pouring on the gas as the truck accelerated toward the anomaly. ----- As the truck approached, Twinkle peered ahead over the roof of the cabin. While her horn was less than ideal for peering over surfaces, she hoped her lighter scheme of color would go relatively unnoticed against the cloudy sky. However, the group needn’t be in feet long, as the unicorn smiled hugely. Sticking her head into the cabin, the girl pony reported her findings. “That’s the IHSA insignia on the side of the tent!” she said, smiling. There was a passed glance between the human girls, their minds mulling over every old movie cliche in the book. “We’re completely safe.” Rose was the first to speak up. “I’d hide regardless, pony.” The blonde leaned closed toward the window as she looked over the collection of white tents and vehicles. As they had neared, the girls in the front of the truck had started to pick out the shapes, noticing the gleam of windows and the like. “They could be in disguise.” Twinkle giggled softly. “Disguise? To what end? We’re in the middle of nowhere, girls. Do you really think that the HLF would go so far as to camp out somewhere to take ponies hostage off the roads?” Rose and Violet exchanged glances, each one fairly unsure of how much things should be taken at face value. “Short answer? Yes,” Violet muttered. Rose scoffed slightly, herself being a part of the HLF until recent events, if only as a member due to family. Not that she honored such anymore. “Look, it’s probably safer if you and Rusty hide out back there anyway - just in case,” Violet asked, earning her a soft sigh from the unicorn. Regardless, the pink pony disappeared out to the back, pulling the blanket over herself and the red stallion. Rose looked back a moment before shaking her head. “I’m not saying it’s not, but I didn’t hear anything about a group camping out next to roads, dressed up in tents with the IHSA symbol on them. For the most part, we’re kinda friendly with the IHSA - well, not ‘we’, but...” she trailed, her voice cracking slightly. Violet passed a worried glance over to her friend, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Rose chuckled and shook her hand. “It’s alright, I’m not gonna break open like a fountain on you...” She trailed. Violet sighed, but her eyes were trained on the encampment as it neared. “Even still, Rose.” She didn’t feel the need to say much else. As far as Violet was concerned, her friendships were made by trial by fire, and each one was forged well enough. Slowing the vehicle, she could see humans moving among the camp, some of them noticing the truck at the distance. “Think they’ll do anything...?” Rose cleared her throat as she pointed at a figure walking towards the road. As he strode, an orange square could be seen near him, in what resembled a flag as the truck got close. Sure enough, the man raised his arm, holding a fluorescent orange signal flag as he waved the truck down. “I guess... we should stop.” Violet looked over, but Rose simply shrugged. “They’ll get plenty suspicious if we don’t,” she mused. Forced to agree, the purple haired girl slowed down even more as she started to pull over to the side of the road, the man dropping the flag as he gave a friendly wave. The gesture was enough to make Violet feel less nervous as they approached, her biting anxiety starting to wane as the man smiled. Pulling alongside the man, Violet gave a curt wave toward him. Rose smiled, giving a more vocal response. “Hey, old man! You with the IHSA?” “Sure am, little lady. Name’s Jorge. That’s J-o-rge, no that I expect you to spell it out,” he chuckled. He was a large man, with a naturally dark tan to his skin. A light beard punctuated his jawline, but none of it more than a couple millimeters long - just enough to show on his face. His broad shoulders meant he was no stranger to the weight room, either. Leaning against Violet’s open window, he winked at the girls as he knocked on the roof of the truck. “I don’t see many trucks on the road these days. Where you girls hailing from?” He smirked as he looked back at the truck bed, seeing the mattress and blankets. “And who’re your pony friends?” Twinkle audibly groaned as the blanket went slack, revealing vaguely pony shapes under the covers. Shifting herself unto her hooves, she peered at the man in front of her. Vaguely military, she mused, but otherwise she deemed trustworthy. “Hello there, sir, I am Twinkle, and my friend here is Rusty,” she mentioned quickly, flicking the blanket off the red Earth pony in the back. The others held their breath. Yet, Jorge laughed heartily as he reached a hand out, which Twinkle gracefully met with her hoof, shaking their appendages. “Good to meet you, Twinkle. Is that a single name, or are you one of those dual-name unicorns? I’m Jorge. Jorge Cutler.” His smile was huge, and Violet mirrored it, giving Rose an expectant look. The blonde shrugged and gave a fleeting thumbs up, giving a light shrug as she looked over the other men and women at the camp. “Just Twinkle is fine, Jorge. I hope you don’t wish to be referred to as Mr. Cutler,” Twinkle started, but the shaking head of the man clued her in. “No, no. Mr. Cutler was my father,” Jorge chuckled. Rusty pushed himself up on his good hoof, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sorry to hear that, Jorge,” he said, stabilizing himself. He had caught the was easily enough. Jorge laughed and shook his head. “Oh, don’t worry about it, ‘Rusty’. That’s a human gone pony name if I’ve ever heard one. No, my dear old dad goes by the name Sledge, like the hammer on your flank there. ‘Course, he’s got a grenade on his. Old war veteran into an old war pony. Mom’s happy as a lark now that she’s a pegasus, though. Ha!” Jorge smiled down at the red pony, taking note of his damaged forelimb. “Eh? What happened to your hoof, there?” Violet cleared her throat quickly, feeling ostracized from the conversation thus far. “We had a bit of trouble, and he fell out of the cabin and landed wrong on his hoof.” She informed, having no reason to lie to the man. Rose nodded slowly, deciding not to dwell on it. “Oh, and I’m Violet, and this is Rose.” Jorge held out his hand to each of the girls, where each quite graciously accepted. Shaking his hand was an almost foreign experience, having not had to go through such pleasantries in years. Jorge waved down a couple of his friends and they came by. Rose was the first to notice a couple carried weapons, but Violet didn’t think much of it - feral animals tended to stalk the open fields these days. “Well girls, if you aren’t in a rush, would you like to have some company for a little while? We don’t have much to offer in terms a’ food, but we can help ya. Whaddya out here for?” Violet looked over to Rose, who was focused on the guns of the people on the base. “I could ask the same question, Jorge. What are you all out here for? It’s not like Sante Fe or something got hit with some big disaster. I can see it from here,” Rose quiped, gaining the attention of the large man. “Seems a bit off with the tents and jeeps and the semi over there.” Rose pointed toward the makeshift parking lot, where a large semi - fortunately much unlike the kind they had seen previously - were parked. Jorge hesitated a moment, but shrugged and smiled. “Field tests, really. We’re out and about on a convoy to test a couple things out here. Don’t let the guns fool you - they’re just for the wild animals out there. Things have been getting riled up as of late - the brass says it’s the magic in the atmosphere, makin’ things go wild! It’s why most of the west has vacated, I hear,” he mentioned. Twinkle nodded slowly. “Yes, I hear it can be quite dangerous further north, where the Jet Stream is more prevalent year round.” She mentioned. Violet took a moment to digest the idea of dangerous, magically enhanced animals, but banished the thought from her mind. Rusty looked about at all the IHSA members, and echoed something he had heard Jorge say. “You said something about ‘the brass’. Are you a military group?” “Sure am. We’re a branch of the IHSA devoted at... keepin’ the peace between pony and person. I can guess you all are familiar with how the HLF can be. Killin’ you pony folk for the sake of killin’. Shame we lack a centralized force to deal with ‘em these days, but you know what they say about stupid people in groups.” “Call it a government.” Rose smirked, much to the amusement of Jorge. Rose nodded her head slightly at the man as she gestured toward the parking lot. “What do you say, guys? Stick around?” Violet didn’t mind, as she was quite enjoying the man’s company. The ponies agreed as well, and soon Jorge was gesturing toward the gathering of vehicles. “Well, go ahead and park. Like I said, we don’t have much, but we’re willing to share with you all should you need something.” And with that, the group headed toward the parking lot, Violet taking the decision to park far enough away from the lorry truck for Rose’s sake. Jorge met them alongside another member, introduced him as Carl Juniper, and they finished a whole meet and greet. Violet shook Carl’s hand, but found unlike his companion, Carl was a bit more cold and militaristic about it. This didn’t earn him many points with the quartet, but they didn’t quite mind it. Stepping out of the vehicle, Violet rounded the truck and started to help Rose out, before Jorge stepped in. “Whoa, Whoa there little lady. My, that is a nasty looking job there on your ankle, child,” he murmured. “What happened there?” Violet cut in before Rose could, sensing a delicate situation. “Well, she... It’s kind of a private matter, but we did everything we could for it,” she said. Jorge gave a passing glance over her, but nodded his head. “Well, I’ll see if we can’t help you get fixed up then.” Passing a look over to the red pony who was gingerly getting down off the bed with Twinkle’s help, he pointed at the stallion. “You too, Rusty.” “Many- oof, thanks Twinkle - Many thanks.” Rusty chuckled, nearly falling all over the unicorn. She threatened to skewer the colt if he tripped up again, and he simply grinned while apologizing. Sticking a thumb over to the ponies, Jorge raised an eyebrow. “Not meaning to pry, but are those two ponies together?” Violet chuckled. “Give ‘em another day. Two, tops.” ----- In the white tent, Violet found herself separated from Rose and Rusty for a little bit while she, Twinkle, and Jorge spoke about various things. Violet found it all to be an odd sensation, to be sitting around humans and ponies alike, shooting the breeze like the world had always been this way. She kept glancing over to Carl, though, the stoic man merely sitting nearby. Jorge, however, was dominating the conversation, apparently quite happy to have some new souls to talk to. “So then we were deported off to Australia to help with relief efforts, moving many of the sick to hospitals before eventually even those were just converted to Conversion Bureaus,” he said, pulling out a stick of gum. Offering it to the girls, Twinkle refused it while Violet grabbed a piece, more than excited to have some gum for the first time in years. Twinkle tapped her hoof thoughtfully as her human companion tore into the wrapper and chewed viciously on the pink stick. “So they replaced human hospitals with Conversion Bureaus out there?” she asked, shaking her mane about. “I can see why - ponification deals with many illnesses, both mental and physical, but to simply use our serum as an outlet for a case of pneumonia...” Jorge shook his head. “The unicorns and the like did their best, Twink, but many humans still succumbed to radiation poisoning and cancers from all the disturbed dust and bombs. It’s unfortunate, but any case that was deemed malignant was sent to a Conversion Bureau.” Leaning back, the built man kicked a foot up over his knee and let it rest there as he closed his eyes in recollection. “There were cases that seemed manageable, but with dwindling supplies and a sure-fire cure available, it was a mass exodus for humankind.” Stroking his chin, Jorge turned to crack his back a few times. “Outside of almost losing some of California to the Pacific, there wasn’t as much need for it in the Americas.” Violet nodded slowly, events from the day of disaster slowly coming to light in her mind. “So you said you’re a military unit?” She asked, her eyes glancing over to Carl. The man in question had taken out his gun and began to disassemble it, taking a look at the pieces as he thought to clean them. Jorge looked over to his compatriot, only to roll his eyes and wave him him. “Don’t think much of Carl there. He says little and thinks even less.” At this, the man nearby pointed the large section of the gun toward Jorge, pulling the trigger with a resolute click. Violet and Twinkle visibly winced, but Jorge didn’t even flinch. “Don’t you know that there still could have been a bullet in the chamber? One of these days you could kill me and bring the general IQ of this place down thirty points.” “Fuck you,” Carl spat, before placing the gun down and walking away. Jorge shook his head. “Always a treat, that one.” As they watched the angry man push his way through some of the other men and women on the base, they were rewarded with the sight of a blonde girl with crutches. Rose made her way toward the group, popping around people and chairs like an old pro. “You used to crutches, child?” Rose chuckled. “A bit, actually. Broke my leg about five years ago in an accident, so I’m used to getting around on one foot and two artificial ones.” Violet coughed slightly, bringing the attention over to herself. “You’re about one working leg short of a pony,” Violet teased, earning a hiss from her friend as the blonde found a place to sit. She saw a gun in a number of pieces on the floor next to it, but found herself seated regardless. “I guess I’m jealous. Not for too long, though.” Jorge looked over at Violet in surprise. “Ah, you’re going in for ponification? Fantastic, girl.” Clapping a large hang against the girl’s back, Violet nearly doubled over into the ground as he did so. Catching herself, Violet just gave a sheepish grin toward the man as Twinkle cleared her throat. “Jorge, if you don’t mind my asking, but I’m confused. I’ve worked with the IHSA for the last couple years, quite closely, but I don’t recognize anyone from this encampment.” Rose looked about at the people working around them, expecting some sort of staring contest from them, but each one basically ignored them. Violet seemed to notice this as well, finding that it seemed just as odd. “Not to mention you’re in it for the preservation of human survival.” “Hey, y’know, not for nothing Twinkle, but could you try not to make me feel incriminated here?” Violet exhaled hard, crossing her arms in mock indignation. Her mind was buzzing, her sense of acting coming to the forefront. “It’s been a long run, but I’ve got nothing left as a person. I hope you understand, Jorge.” Deciding whether or not to flutter her eyelashes was a difficult decision, but the burning sensation on her back where Jorge jovially ‘patted’ her gave her cause not to. “Ah, it’s of no concern of mine, little lady. I’m just living out my duty to the brass, but I can see myself as a pony someday. Don’t confuse us with the HLF - we like what the ponies are doing for our race.” Jorge rubbed his cheek slightly, his hand moving up as he slid his fingers through his short, brown hair. “All of humanity that is left is either the best of us or the worst of us. Makes it easy to point a gun when things go bad.” Twinkle choked on her own saliva, a fact Violet realized was the first time she had ever seen a pony do that. Still, the graveness of the statement Jorge made hung heavy in the air. Clearing her throat, Violet passed a glance over to Rose a moment before continuing on. “But, I thought the HLF and the IHSA were on good terms...?” “Openly, maybe, but they’ve started to see a lot of us as shepherds for humans who want to go pony. And they don’t like that.” Jorge harrumphed loudly, but brought a thumb across his nose before continuing. “There have been... hostilities, that we have to take care of sometimes.” “Is that why you’re down here, then? To take care of hostilities?” Rose butted in, her eyes sharpened. Jorge paid it little mind, but merely started to stroke his beard. Violet noticed he had a physical tick to his speech, as his hands really couldn’t seem to leave his face. “What about the family members that don’t know any better? Sons and daughters?” Jorge shrugged. “As long as they aren’t hostile, we never shoot first.” His voice held something that Violet didn’t like. Her years in theatre could tell her that there was a hint in his voice that didn’t sound entirely truthful. “There is a fundamental difference in our theologies, so it’s best to talk to a child early to avoid problems.” Violet kept running his words through her head. Inflections, stresses. There was something in his voice that she knew he was trying to let them in on, and it was starting to drive her crazy. A rhythmic throbbing started to slam against her ears as she pursued the knowledge, but her thoughts were interrupted as a red stallion entered the tent, a splint on his hoof and what looked to be little slippers or shoes for his back legs. Rose greeted the stallion first, but quickly turned to Violet. “You hear that sound?” Violet’s eyes snapped open as she realized the throbbing wasn’t in her head, but was actually a sound. The tent started to flap about violently around them as Jorge leaned back, unfazed by the interruption. Rusty, on the other hand, shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, it’s that helicopter we saw earlier,” he mentioned idly, a small grin on his face. “Check it out, girls, they gave me little shoes for my feet. I can’t even begin to tell you how much better it feels to walk now.” Jorge quickly leaned forward, his eye furrowed. “Say again, Rusty? You said you saw our helicopter?” His face had quickly turned to stone, an unreadable expression over his face. The red colt gave a quick grin, bouncing his head from side to side, ignoring the warning looks from the human girls. “Yeah, when we were leaving Albuquerque we saw a helicopter fly overhead toward the city. I recognize the insignia on the side now. Man, we were so scared when we saw it overhead, I couldn’t get a good look at your little symbol.” Taking a seat next to Twinkle, Rusty turned to the unicorn and showed off his splint. “Looks like I can walk a bit normally now. I gotta be careful on this hoof, but they said if you help with some magic from time to time, I could be good in a couple days.” Jorge stood up in one fluid motion, rolling his shoulder slightly as he cleared his throat. “I didn’t know you girls came from Albuquerque. Heard only HLF kids lived there.” Rose averted her eyes at the mention. “If you all had stayed a bit longer, we could have shortened your trip for you, Violet. Rose.” Rose kept her eyes away from the large man, running her arm against her forehead. “Well, V’s the one getting ponied, I’m just along for the ride, really.” “Oh, I’m sure there’s more to it than just that,” a voice called, unfamiliar to the assembled group outside one. A man strode in, flanked on one side by Carl, and on the other was a woman in dark sunglasses. Adorned on his jacket were numerous medals, and it didn’t take Violet long to recognize an insignia emblazoned upon his suit coat. “Hello there, guests. I am Lieutenant Samuel Standish. I’m in charge of this operation and I’ve just been informed of your arrival. Ah, hello there Twinkle, how nice to see you again.” The unicorn in question gave a small, sheepish smile. “Ah, hello Lieutenant. Fancy meeting you out here.” Violet looked between the two and raised a hand expectantly. “Uh, ‘scuse me, but ah, you two know each other?” “Vaguely. The Lt. here helped with the closing days of the Bureau before we shut down. He’s been responsible for the transportation of our serum and sedatives for the past month,” Twinkle exposited, her voice shaky. Now it seemed like everyone was starting to hide something, and it wasn’t sitting well with the purple-haired human. “That’s correct. Lovely you remember me, Twinkle.” Standish smiled, giving the collected group a shared grimace to how unnaturally white his teeth were. “Of course, that’s not everything you remember me for, now is it?” Violet’s stomach dropped as he continued to stare at the unicorn, but couldn’t help but stay silent. She was curious as to what he meant - perhaps dangerously so. There was a reason curiosity killed the cat. Rose looked between the assembled people, taking note that the others who had surrounded them weren’t looking at them - they weren’t even there at all. Jorge and the two guards that had come with Standish were the only people within eyesight, the whining sound of the helicopters engines shutting down was the only thing that clued the others to life outside the tent. Twinkle cleared her throat. “As it stands, Lt. Standish never delivered the potion or the sedatives to IHSA Headquarters in Colorado Springs. We had thought he had been taken prisoner by HLF forces, and we were forced to shut down all of our Bureau’s entirely.” Rose and Violet spun their heads on a swivel as Twinkle spoke, the pale pink pony locking eyes with Violet. “That’s why I couldn’t of made the simple exception to bring you in back in Albuquerque - we had no way of trusting our final reserves were safe from tampering.” Violet felt a rush of indignant, but she soon quelled it, realizing the how and the way held little in terms of where she was now. “I understand. But... my friend, Albert. He turned into a pegasus just fine-” “Excuse me, but I hate to be ignored.” Standish chided, bringing his sweeping gaze to rest upon the blonde haired girl. “Besides, I have so much to say still. Sharla, be a dear and escort these ponies to their vehicle. And do keep watch on them, would you?” Rusty cocked his head to one side. “What? Hey now, why the sudden seriousness?” Looking about, he started to read the expressions on everyone’s faces. “What’s going on?” “Sharla, please. Give them a little motivation.” As the lieutenant spoke, the woman brought out a sparking tool of electricity, pointing the taser toward the ponies. “Come with me ponies, I promise no harm will come to you.” Sharla, as she was called, soon started to herd the two ponies out of the room, Carl and Samuel watching the two confused ponies as they were brought outside. Violet couldn’t even begin to express her fear as she turned to Rose, the other girl simply not looking away from the ground. Violet wished she could be so simple, her eyes looking up toward Jorge. The friendly man she had seen before was stone-faced, his hand resting on the handgun at his side. “So... what’re you going to do? We haven’t done anything!” Violet eventually choked out, to which she was responded to with a laugh. Spinning to look over to the lieutenant, the man grinned down to her with hidden malice. “Do to you? Nothing at all... Violet. Correct?” Samuel turned toward Carl, who only grunted in response. “One means yes.” Standish chuckled, his eyes training once again on the blonde girl before them. Standing over her, he ran a hand through his jet-black hair as roughly grabbed the wounded girl’s arm, his hand slipping down to his side. Bringing out a small device, he stuck a needle into Rose’s neck, dripping sedative straight into the girl’s veins. Violet shot to her feet quickly, but soon found herself restrained by Jorge, who grabbed her arms and held her back. “No, Violet, you’re safe. However, I think I and my men have a little issue with your HLF spy here.” Dropping the medical instrument, Lt. Standish released Rose, the girl struggling to stand on her good foot. Violet screamed out for her friend, but the girl soon collapsed on the ground in front of her. Standish gestured mutely toward Rose, Carl picking her prone form up. Standish turned toward Violet, who struggled uselessly against the strong arms of the military man behind her. “Now then, Violet. I believe we should have a small talk about a man named Fred.” Violet’s eyes bulged at the mention of the Tower’s keeper. * * * Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail Part IX By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze Violet was pushed along through the encampment, the strong arms of Jorge keeping her from resisting Lieutenant Standish’s orders. In front of her lay the limp form of Rose, the blonde girl who’s life she had saved, however briefly it may seem now. As they walked, Violet could hear the footsteps of purpose emanating from the Lieutenant as he walked behind them. Her eyes trained around the camp, catching sight of only a few others. As it stood, the entire area likely only had around ten people at most, a fact she found surprising, if not dulled by the fact she was a captive by all definitions. As she was forced along, she could see Rusty and Twinkle on the other side of the field in their truck as they themselves approached the semi on their side of the lot. Struggling against Jorge, Violet seethed under his grip. “Why...? What’s going on Jorge? I thought... you weren’t like this!” Violet pleaded, pushing against his arms. The man behind her sighed as he kept her moving, the girl not seeing the man shake his head. “Orders are orders, child.” The tall man said, his voice subdued. Violet tried to pry at his disapproval. “Please, you must know she’s not bad! You talked to her, she’s a nice girl, really! A bit rough around the edges, a bit of a mouth, but who doesn’t?” “Violet!” It was a light shout, but the girl in question turned to see Rusty pushing up against the female human who held him and Twinkle at bay. She threatened the stallion with her taser, her other hand held firmly on her side, right above a holster. Violet could do nothing but look on helplessly as her friends were shepherded toward the car, Sharla pushing the two inside the truck’s cabin. Grunting, Violet tried to look back, but a jostle from Jorge kept her looking straight at Rose’s unconscious face as they were brought along. “Just what do you want to know about Fred anyway? He was an HLF member who died. Heart attack or something, nothing more,” she spat back, only to hear a light chuckle come from behind. “Nothing more? Oh, Violet, that simply isn’t the case. Especially when you’re driving around with a couple ponies and the daughter of a high ranking HLF member.” Standish laughed, but Violet stayed silent, her brain working on unwrapping what he just said. Before she could think much further, however, Carl broke from the group, moving toward a large door on the side of the semi, while the others kept walking toward the back. “Hey now- where are you taking her!?” Violet yelled, earning her another unceremonious shake from Jorge. She was really starting to dislike that man. “Please, don’t separate us, she just lost her brother-” Clearing his throat, Lt. Standish straightened his uniform as he continued on. “I’m well aware of that. His body was found this morning, mangled with a large hole through his head. Apparently their festivities were cut short when a large lorry ended up driving off a crumbling expressway and it killed their new commanding officer.” Violet again wrestled against Jorge, this time the man relenting slightly in allowing the girl to see the Lieutenant. “What are you talking about? Richard wasn’t-” “Ah, and there’s the admission of knowledge. Lovely how that works.” Standish continued to smile as he passed by Violet, grabbing hold of the back doors of the semi and opening them. “Jorge, if you’d be so helpful...” Nodding, the large man forced Violet up and into the back of the truck, Carl appearing nearby to help the man with the job. Violet yelled at the men, but soon found herself pushed back into the dark chamber, the door slamming shut behind her. “Be back real soon. Just have to tie up a couple loose ends.” ----- Rusty swore loudly, much to Twinkle’s displeasure. Catching a look from the pony, he sighed wistfully and slammed his head against the top of the steering wheel. “Well it’s all a bunch of manure, anyway. We were all just sitting there, enjoying ourselves, and then that rat bastard walks in an’ just... What the hell is going on?” Looking over to the unicorn, Twinkle couldn’t help but shrug. “Hey, quiet down in there.” Sharla called from outside. Rusty rolled his eyes. “Oh fuck off! We can’t do anything in here.” Rusty called, placing a hoof on the ignition. As he did, he felt the keys jingle underneath his hooves, and the stallion looked over to Twinkle a moment, a sparkle in his eyes. Pushing the key a little bit, the battery hummed to life as an assortment of dings and air came on, much to the human’s displeasure. “Hey, I said quiet down! Turn your damn car off of I’ll-” Rusty pushed a button on the sound deck and suddenly the air was filled with the calm sounds of some old music CD. “It’s some music, Sharla. I think you can agree that’s not exactly world-ending.” Rusty muttered, before slamming his hoof on the door locks and rolling the window up. “Thank god for power windows...!” Twinkle gave the colt a confused glance, raising her eyebrow. “What are you hoping to accomplish, Rusty? We can’t do anything in here, and now you’ve just made her angry!” Looking past the red pony, Twinkle saw the girl slamming on the window and mutely calling for the stallion to roll down his window now. Giving a goofy grin, Rusty raised his splinted hoof to his ear and mouthed a ‘I-can’t-hear-you’ at the girl. Despite the danger, Twinkle couldn’t help but giggle slightly. “Well, if she wasn’t before...” “Ah, screw her. They promised not to harm us, so she can’t do anything until Lt. High-and-Mighty gives the say so,” Rusty scoffed, tapping a hoof on the side of his head. “Odd that they’d lock us up in our own car.” Twinkle looked about the vehicle, having not a lot of space to maneuver, she was having a hard time agreeing with Rusty’s plan. “Well it’s not like ponies can drive, Rusty. Besides, what’s the idea when Standish does give an order to harm us?” Placing a hoof on the stereo system, she dabbled with the controls a moment before spinning the knob on the deck, quieting the music. Rusty was currently rubbing the back of his neck with his good hoof. “Yeah, I hadn’t really thought that far, but I’d doubt that Sharla out there is keen on leaving us all alone in here, so she’s not about to get any new orders until he gets here.” As he spoke, he could see the Lieutenant in question far across the field, fortunately not hearing the calls from his agent. As he looked over the group, his eyes narrowed. “Not exactly the most able-bodied militaristic group,” he mused. “Excuse me? They have guns and helicopters, isn’t that good enough?” Twinkle gathered, her eyes trained on the helicopter nearby. She never wanted to be on the bad side of an organization that had one of those. She never wanted to be on anyone’s bad idea at all! She wasn’t used to this kind of thing. And as she looked about, her panic was slightly quelled by the sudden fear that she was becoming used to it. However, Rusty brought her back from her revelry by shaking his hoof at the scene before them. “Not entirely. They have the hardware, but outside of Jorge I haven’t been seeing much in the way of efficiency around here. I saw a gun lying in pieces in the tent we were in, and there aren’t any radios or anything. I got to look around at most of the place when one of the medics were helping my leg.” Shaking his head, he laid his forehead on the steering wheel, unsure of what to think. “It doesn’t make any sense, Twinkle. One moment they’re helping, the next we’re separated and locked up.” “To be fair, you did lock us in the truck,“ Twinkle teased despite the situation, earning her a giant grin from the red stallion. Looking about, she sighed as she saw a couple members of the IHSA approach Sharla. “Well, I guess we’re gonna have some trouble soon,” she muttered. Rusty looked on to see a Sharla start to relate the message to her compatriots, much to his displeasure. “I don’t suppose you have a plan yet...?” Rusty eyed the keys in the ignition and his eyes tracked over to Twinkle’s horn. Technically, he did still have his license... Although the mugshot wouldn’t win him any contests. Shifting himself into an extremely uncomfortable position for a pony, Rusty cursed his short stature as his hooves didn’t reach the gas or brakes, sliding himself back up to his sitting position. Looking over towards Twinkle, he passed a glance back at Sharla as he opened his mouth. “Lemme tell you about something called ‘the clutch’.” ----- Violet huddled in some dark corner, unsure of what to expect. Rose was somewhere in the truck with her, but there was no way to talk to her, or communicate. She was likely still under the effect of the sedatives. Violet looked back at the action taken by the lieutenant, making note that it didn’t seem like there was much sedative in his little needle. Maybe Rose was conscious. Laying her hand down, her skin brushed against the floor slightly. Only now did she even start to contemplate her surroundings. She had only got a glimpse when they had thrown her in here before shutting the doors, and had seen a table and chairs upon a carpeted floor. There was some reflective surface toward the back - where she was leaning against right now, actually. However, noises from outside brought her attention up as the door swung open, the afternoon sun shining bright in her eyes as she moved to cover them. Stepping into the semi, there was a tittering sound as she recognized the voice of Lieutenant Standish. “Hm. I seem to have forgotten to turn the lights on in here. How embarrassing. Carl, if you would?” There was a short shuffling sound followed by a light click. Moments later, Fluorescent lights flickered on inside the truck as Violet’s eyes tried to adjust to the light. Along the walls were some wood panelling, obviously fake, but it was enough to give the room a homey feel to it. She was right about the table and chairs, but the reflective surface behind her just gave way into some dark room that held no light. Frowning, Violet looked up at the walls, where various gas masks littered the sides of the compartment. The lieutenant gestured over to the large tanned man beside him. “Ah, there we are. Jorge, if you’d be so kind as to bring her to the table, I’d like to speak with her like civilized people.” Violet stood up as Jorge approached, but she rebuked him as he neared her. “I’m not Goddamned animal, I know when I don’t have the upper hand,” she seethed, moving toward the chair and sitting down. “I don’t know what you want from me, Standish. I’m just trying to get to the Bureau with my friends. We don’t deserve to be locked up like this.” The lieutenant chuckled dryly, wiping away a tear of merriment that wasn’t really there. “Oh, I agree and I disagree. I had to be safe, you see. Your pony friends check out, as do you, of course. You’re an anomaly, though, that’s for certain. A little girl, living alone in some big tower where the head of the Albuquerque HLF branch lived.” “What?” Violet gaped, shaking her head. “Is that why you brought up Fred? Look, I don’t know what you’re smoking out here, but he wasn’t the head of the HLF out there - he was just some old bitter man,” she argued. Still, Standish just wore that infuriating smile. Narrowing her eyes, she sighed loudly. “Okay, say he was. I didn’t know that, okay? I was just... looking for some place to be. With people. I didn’t even know he was HLF until I saw him at some meeting!” Violet wasn’t pleased by the lack of information they gave her, but she was more infuriated with how this asshole just sat there and expected the world. Not to mention something else weighed on her mind. “Where is Rose? What did you do to her? I swear if you laid a finger on her-” “Do to her?” Standish interrupted. “Nothing, yet. Although I plan to. In fact...” Bringing out a small glass box, he placed it on the table. It was a simple box, clear on all sides but the bottom. Inside it was a large red button. Violet hated big red buttons. There was a hinge as well, obviously for flipping open and pressing that big red button. “I will be doing something quite soon. And don’t get any ideas, Violet, there really is nothing you can do.” Violet fumed under his gaze, but betrayed nothing. “Then what do you want. I’m just a girl; I’m nothing important!” The man laughed, shaking his head as Carl walked to the other side of the table behind Violet, standing next to Jorge as he did. “I agree with you, you are rather worthless, but that’s neither here nor there. Really, I’m just keeping you around because I’m curious as to how and why a girl who doesn’t make sense just so happens to show up in my camp and deliver the new head of the western branch of the HLF.” Chuckling to himself, he watched Violet’s face contort into something that resembled confusion and rage. “I don’t fucking know what you think you’re talking about, but Rose is just a girl who wants to get on with her life. Her brother’s dead and he tried to kill her before he went, okay? She’s no head of the HLF-” Violet began, but she was cut off. “She’s more or less the defacto head, considering there aren’t any more out there.” Violet shook her head, unsure of what he meant. As she did, however, he produced a vial of purple serum and placed it on the table. “Your unicorn friend said I disappeared awhile ago with her stock of ponification potion. That’s mostly true, but it wasn’t all finished, and drinkable potion is so hard to force upon others. So we’ve been testing new versions out here in the open air. We haven’t had many problems.” Jorge coughed uneasily behind him, but Lt. Standish ignored it. “At least not since our first batch. Had they been sedated I’m sure it would have been a lot less mess to clean up.” Chuckling dryly, Violet shook her head. “Why... why are you even telling me this? I don’t want to know this!” Violet’s body was shaking now, be it from fear or anger, or some other emotion that got itself tied into the mix. Standish shook his head. “Because you’re the most interesting thing that’s happened all month. A solitary truck in an otherwise empty pony wasteland? Bringing me Fred’s sole remaining family? The last of the western branch of the HLF? Really now, if you hadn’t escaped our gassing run in Albuquerque I’d of never had the day I’ve had. So thank you.” Lieutenant Samuel Standish stood up, approaching the dark window. “Carl, if you’d be so kind as to light up the next room?” There was another click as the other room lit up, revealing an empty metal room save for the unconscious girl within. “And there she is. You know, I really can’t stand the Human Liberation Front, and those pussyfoots in charge of the IHSA are just happy to let them roam free these days. Well, I’m sick of seeing pony and people alike killed over being friendly. So, I’m stopping the hate where it starts.” Violet stood up, seeing the prone form of her friend in the other room. Rushing forward, she felt her arms get nabbed by the men behind her, holding her against her will and best efforts. “Stop! Don’t- Don’t kill her! She hasn’t done anything wrong! She isn’t part of the HLF anymore! She wants to be part of the IHSA!” The Lieutenant smiled plainly, shaking his head. “Kill her? Whatever think I’d do that on purpose? If I did that I’d be no better than the scum of the Earth she was born from.” Looking down at the girl in the other room, his eyes narrowed into a malicious smile. “No, Violet. I’m going to fix her.” ----- Twinkle shook her head, trying to wrap her head around the vehicle. “So, the one on the left is the clutch, which you hit when you want to change gears, and that’s the gas, and that one is the brake-” “Which you won’t need until the very end.” Rusty said, looking over toward the congregation of IHSA members. Quite a few had started to circle the truck, but Rusty had ordered Twinkle to make her horn glow in a threatening manner. It had worked for the most part, each member not daring to get too close to the truck. As Rusty looked around, he noticed a couple plots not too far off, upturned dirt and large stones placed near them. He visibly swallowed as he looked about, regretting his word choice about ‘the very end’. Apparently, these people were no strangers to death, and he didn’t want to think about who occupied those fresh graves. Twinkle whined slightly, her horn sparking to life again as she looked at an approaching member. “Rusty, I don’t know how much longer this is going to work...” she whispered. The red stallion agreed himself, but didn’t show it. “I don’t think I have it in me to do anything bad to them...” “You won’t have to... I don’t think,” Rusty replied nervously, putting his hooves on the wheel. “Just... keep your eyes on the prize and stick to the plan.” Twinkle eyed him a moment, shaking her mane. As she did, one of the members of IHSA made a dash for the car, Rusty taking a moment to shout and point with his hoof toward the man. Twinkle wheeled about and caught the man in her sights, her horn sparking. “WhatdoIdoWhatdoIdoWhatdoIdo!” Twinkle screeched, her bluff called as the man continued to approach. “I can’t do anything!” Rusty drummed his hoof on the dashboard, trying to think of something. “I don’t know- Surround the truck! Make it glow! You don’t have to do anything with it, just make it look good!” His mouth was running as his hoof reached for the keys in the ignition. It took some doing, but he finally managed to turn the ignition and the engine roared to life. Twinkle shot him a look of panic as she surrounded the truck in her glow, the man backing off slightly as the truck started to levitate upwards. “Ack! Twinkle! Make it stop! Make it stop!” Releasing the Ford, the tires bounced against the ground as Rusty bellowed instructions toward the pale pink unicorn. “Okay! Gas! Clutch! More gas! Good! First gear! Alright! Gas! Gas! Clutch!” Before them, Lieutenant Standish exited the semi truck, being met with a couple of his agents as they gestured toward the ponies in the truck. Cursing loudly, the man started to walk forward alongside his second in command as the approached the ponies. “Clutch! More gas! Second gear! Keep going! We’re doing great!” Rusty shouted. “Stop yelling!” Twinkle screamed, her concentration being spent on just trying to follow the instructions, let alone decipher them with all the noise Rusty was making. “Sorry! Gas! Clutch! Third gear!” Hooves on the wheel, Rusty did his best to navigate the cars, jeeps, and personnel of the camp while keeping a steady stream of instructions to follow, his eyes trying to watch the ‘road’ and the dashboard as he did. “HOW DID I EVER DRIVE THIS THING!?” As the duo made their way across the field, the semi was in sight as they accelerated closer and closer. “Ruuuusssty! What do I do now?” Twinkle screamed over the sound of the engine, the sound of the radio, which just so happened to click unto a polka tune. “We’re gonna crash!” Rusty turned to Twinkle with a smile on his face. “That’s the plan!” “What?!” Rusty gave a sheepish smile as he shrugged his shoulders. “If we knock over the truck, we might be able to get the girls out!” “If we survive!” Twinkle shouted, looking forward to towards the looming side of the semi. “Hold on - I’ve got an idea!” Her horn shimmering even brighter, Rusty suddenly felt the wheel go slack against the ground as the Ford lifted up into the air, its momentum bringing it up towards the side of the thin metal walls. “HERE WE GO!” ----- Minutes Earlier... “No! Stop! Please, let her go!” Violet screamed, the two men alongside her restraining her by the arms. She looked on helplessly as the dazed girl in the other room slowly came to her senses, taking a look at her surroundings. A metal cage, a glass window she couldn’t see through. Violet wished the same could be said for her. Turning to her right, she struggled against her captors as she pleaded with the man. “Listen to me! Listen to me, please! She’s not like him! She’s not with them anymore!” The man’s eyes glanced over toward Violet, his body language unreadable. Violet’s tears ran openly down her face, and yet all he seemed was... bored. Calm, completely dead to her screams as he reached down to a glass box. “Really now, Violet. You’re one of the good girls. We like you and what you’re trying to do. But this young specimen is a blight to our species, and really, we must remove infections before they spread further.” His hand reached down to the glass box, flipping the offending cage over on its hinges. “Violet?” The blonde called out weakly, holding her head. “Twinkle? Rusty? Wh-where am I?” She asked, bringing herself to her feet. Violet looked on, stunned. “Am I in... what is this shit? Jail? Why am I in jail?” “Rose!” Violet screamed. Lt. Standish peered over, a small smile on his face. The girl in the adjacent room spun about, as if hearing some phantom sound. Chuckling lightly, Standish placed his palm on the red button and pushed it down. “Weep for the wicked no more.” Pushing against one of the men and managing to kick the other in his family jewels, Violet wrenched herself free. Bull rushing toward her offender, she quickly learned that earning the rank of Lieutenant tends to come with some sort of physical training as she quickly found herself floored, the wind knocked from her lungs. Grabbing her by her shirt, the middle-aged man lifted her and slammed the girl against the glass. “Look at her!” Violet struggled, grasping for air as she struggled to remain focused. Before her, a purple mist started to descend into the room where the blonde girl spun about in confusion. “H-Hey!” She called, backing herself away from the offending smoke. “What the hell is this? Don’t I get a trial!? What the fuck is this!?” Turning her head toward the glass, she couldn’t help but notice it shaking and knocking. “H-hey! Look, I get it! I’ll be good, just- God, what is this stu-h... stu...” She blinked, her mind starting to blank. Violet could only choke out her friend’s name. “Rose...!” she whimpered, slamming against the glass. Rose could only look vaguely toward the glass window, feeling the vibrations against her palms. Lt. Standish released Violet, smirking to himself as he saw a waft of purple smoke enter into the blonde girl. “There we are.” Pushing Violet into the glass one last time, the man turned to check on his bodyguards, a sarcastic smile on his face. “Ah, Carl, how’re the kids? Hopefully you can still have them. Jorge, keep an eye on her, make sure she watches the whole thing. I’m going to get something to eat. I’m thinking... Apples.” Violet glared at the man through flowing tears, looking for some way to stop what was happening. There had to be a way. “Rose...” She coughed, her lungs starting to function again. In the other room, the blonde girl couldn’t help but breathe in the purple mist, her legs weakening with every breath as she collapsed to her hands and knees. “Oh god... it... hurts.” Rose coughed, purple phlegm sticking to the floor. Looking around, tears brimmed on the side of her eyes. “I’m... going to die?” she convulsed, her arm sliding against the floor. Violet spun around, her eyes searching for something - anything - to get Rose out of her predicament. Eyes focusing on a wooden chair, Jorge watched her bolt for the furniture, only taking a moment to reach for a gun at his side. Uncaring, the purple haired girl hurled the chair at the glass. To her horrid surprise, the chair bounced harmlessly off the offending glass, the reflective surface only shuddering under the trauma. “Bulletproof glass. One way mirror.” Jorge muttered darkly. Violet rubbed her eyes quickly as she turned toward the darker toned man. “For the more emotional audience.” His voice hid a sad darkness. Violet approached him, but he slowly drew out his gun, shaking his head. “Nuh ah-uh. No closer, darling.” Violet stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “Please...” she said, looking over to Rose as her body started to convulse. “Help her...” Jorge sighed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.” Violet opened her mouth, but instead ran to the window, looking on toward her friend. “I’m under orders. It’s too late anyway, she breathed the serum in.” Violet glanced back at him, her tears dropping on her shirt. “There isn’t anything I can do, child.” Rose’s body was on fire. Her head slammed against the ground as she writhed. She could hear some vague banging, her eyes tracking falsely to the door. “V-Violet..!” she breathed. And then, a sickening crack. Rose’s limbs shot out in a feral rage, her fingers snapping and fusing as magic started to work. It burned her. Her veins were like gasoline, and the magic a match, igniting from within. Rose screamed. Violet could only watch in a stunned silence as she watched her friend twitch and break in front of her. Her bones snapped loudly, her skin glowing unnaturally. Along her skin Violet could see the veins blackened along Rose’s body as her hair shimmered and even sparked. Her tanned, peach skin starting to fade into a pink hue, the color crawling from bulging arteries along her body. The passages of blood snaked across her body, repositioning themselves as her bones started to move in her body. And her screaming became like drowning, her lungs being stretched and skewed in unreal ways. Violet couldn’t look away - she couldn’t stand to see it, but she couldn’t look away. And then it happened. Rose’s back arched, the skin next to her shoulder blades pushing out. Something was trying to escape, a creature clawing out from her insides. The skin ripped and tore as growing bones whipped out into the air, covered in blood and dripping fluids over the floor. Violet’s stomach did a cartwheel as she keeled over slightly, her hand on the glass the only thing keeping her upright. The skeletal appendage was draped in loose skin that shimmered and started to stretch over the white ivory, the puce color spreading. A tail started to grow, splitting out of her spine as a thin bit of bone shot out. As the gruesome display continued, Violet couldn’t help but notice Jorge nearby, his hand over his heart. “What...?” she called, her mind sick at the thought of what was happening before her. “Paying my respects. There is little chance for survival,” He said, sighing as he holstered his gun. “There is little left now. She won’t feel it much longer.” Jorge averted his gaze as Rose’s head started to bulge slightly, the skin around her eyes stretching out. Violet couldn’t hold it anymore as she dry heaved, what little substance she had in her stomach unable to make its way up her throat. Jorge gave her a forlorn gaze, watching the last of the purple mist start to evacuate the room. Violet turned to look at the pony on floor in the room. Rose’s hair ceased to shimmer as it dulled into a turquoise blue, her puce skin starting to sprout a coat of similarly hued hairs. Feathers grew at an exponential rate, little twigs popping out of her wings, growing into brilliant feathers in minutes. Blood was splashed along the floor and drenched the fur along her backside. As the loud murmur of the ventilation started to subside and the purple mist gone from the room, a loud rumble continued throughout the area. Looking up, Violet’s tear-stained face looked about in confusion. “What... What now!? What’s that noise?” Jorge paused at the doorway, looking around him. “I... don’t know.” As it growled and roared, Violet’s ears rang with the familiar sound. She spun slowly as she looked at the man, who was already running forward. “Get down!” he shouted, catching Violet in a full bodied tackle. The roar of the Ford’s engines at full pedal-to-the-medal speeds bellowed as the metal truck slammed through the makeshift walls of the chamber, the slightly airborne vehicle brushing against Jorge’s back as it crashed through the semi-trucks thin metal exterior. There was a screech of metal and a crash of glass as shards rained down upon the two humans, the heavy truck clearing one side of the truck and ripping through the other. Violet could hear the terrified screeching of Twinkle as it went by, the smell of magic in the air as the levitated vehicle came crashing down back on the ground on the other side of the lorry. The wave of confusion and delirious rushes that came after was like a horrible nightmare. Her ears ringing and her chest heaving, Violet pushed herself off the ground as Jorge rolled over, his body pelted with glass and still recovering from being hit by the flying truck. Stumbling toward the broken window, Violet climbed over the jagged edge, glass cutting into her hands as she fell over her broken friend. Grabbing the unfamiliar face, Violet brought it to her chest and looked it in the eye. The eyes were open, wide, and tears were simply streaming down Rose’s face. “Rose...!” Cradling her friend in her arms, the purple-haired girl wept over the limp pony. “Come on, Rose... please...” There was a ripping sound as the door to the chamber ripped off its hinges, a pale pink pony rushing in from the side. “Violet! Violet, you’re okay! Rusty! She’s in here - you missed her you red ponce!” she cried, galloping over toward the kneeling girl. “Violet, who-” She started as the red Earth pony came in at full gallop. “Violet! Oh thank Celestia... Come on, we gotta go - those IHSA members are gonna mobilize real soon here and we still gotta find Rose!” Rusty proceeded to approach the girls, his eyes training on the puce pony in Violet’s arms. “Who is that?” He asked, his face contorting as he looked about. There really wasn’t a lot of places in the encampment to hide people. As the human girl cradled and sobbed over the blue-maned pony, Rusty stepped forward again. “Violet... Who is this pony...?” Twinkle gasped openly as her eyes trained over the bloody spot over the pegasus’ wings and the floor nearby, her mind connecting the dots. She had seen hundreds of conversions, ghastly things that were meant to be done while the patient was unconscious, but the look, the far-away fear and pain in the pony’s eyes. “Rusty...” she choked. The red pony looked over to Twinkle, his eyes fogged. “Rusty... It’s her...” Violet could hear them now. The voices outside. The sounds of engines and metal. She could hear Lt. Standish screaming at his men. The light sound of snapping glass. Her eyes snapped open at the last sound. Standing on the other side of the now open window, Jorge stood, hunched over, his gun trained on the human girl. Glass shards were poking out of his back as he looked over them, his eyes glazed as he looked about the truck. Above him, a broken pipe spewed out purple serum into the open air, brushed away by the wind, but heavy as it started to rain on him. Rusty stepped forward, but the sound of the gun’s safety being clicked off stopped him dead in his tracks, instead opting to just glare angrily at the man. “Hasn’t she suffered enough?” Rusty growled. Jorge’s eyes flashed up at the descending cloud and back to the girl. His hand moved behind a rend in the metal, picking a gas mask up off the wall. Rusty’s eyes sharpened as her snorted. “Hmph. Human survival, at any means.” The mask flopped next to Violet’s hand. The collected group silently looked between it and the man, a look of confusion between them. Jorge coughed, blood splattering over his teeth as the shard in his back penetrated his lung. “Go on...” he called. Violet numbly reached out, grabbing the mask as Jorge openly winced as the purple mist started to pool around his nostrils. Looking down at the pony, Violet gently laid a hand on Twinkle as the unicorn nodded slowly, her horn sparking, lifting the prone form of Rose’s pony body. Strapping the mask on her face, Violet stood up, her hands bleeding from the glass. “Hide your hands... don’t let the mist-” he coughed, again, a loud snapping sound issuing from his left arm as it broke. “Damn! Get out of here, child,” Jorge warned. As he did, the other bodyguard ran into the destroyed holding cell, Jorge spinning around at him. As Carl pointed his weapon at Violet, Jorge fired a round into the agent’s head, his blood splattering on the wall behind him. Violet gasped sharply, but Jorge ignored it, slamming the gun into the girl’s hands. “Violet! We gotta go! Now!” Rusty shouted, the stallion pushing the girl into action. Spinning about, Twinkle was out the door with Rose as Rusty brought up the rear. Tensely looking at the gun in her hand, Violet spun about to see feet and wheels starting to mobilize on the other side of the semi. Jorge had fallen over. Backwards. His body twitched and snapped still, but his face was slack already. Turning toward the damaged Ford, Violet saw Rusty starting to slow down from his damaged forehoof, but otherwise doggedly trying to help the others. She saw Rose - poor Rose. Sprinting for the drivers seat, the engine was already roaring as Twinkle helped herself into the passenger’s sear, Rose and Rusty set in the back on the mattress. Twinkle’s eyes were flowing with new tears. “Violet, I don’t think - I think Rose is...” Violet didn’t let her finish, grabbing the gear shift and pouring on the gas. Tires ripping into the soft earth below it, the truck wretched itself from the ground as it tore off toward the highway, the collecting forces. Violet could feel the mist in the back of her mind. It consumed her, choked her. The fog that cloaked her mind. And now? It had been given corporal form. It tracked her - it never wanted to leave her alone. Breathing heavily into the mask, Violet focused as best she could on the road ahead. The truck bumped and skidded unto the expressway, the various vehicles of the IHSA branch tearing behind her as she shifted into a new gear. Rusty braced himself on his good hoof as he leaned on the side of the truck, looking back at the cars that gave chase. His hooves burned from the last time they had to run, and now he was chased by the something even scarier. Looking back toward the girls, his eyes fell on Rose, the poor girl. Scooting along the bed, Rusty pushed his head through the window toward Twinkle. “We’ve got company. Plans?” Violet shook her head. “Drive. Run. Until we can’t anymore.” Rusty’s eyes trained over to the fuel gauge, the truck part way through its journey. A full on push would eat gas like nothing else, but a slow drive would mean certain death. In Violet’s white knuckled grip was the gun Jorge handed her, her mind buzzing at the implications of what he must of expected her to do with it. Protect herself. Aim it. Kill with it. Shifting into top gear, the engine drank greedily from its reserves. She was the only human now. And she had to prove everything that was worth. * * * Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail Part X By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze Rubber hit pavement as the Ford hit the road, gunning it toward the expanse of buildings ahead. In the back seat, which jostled every which way as the black vehicle aimed to outrun it’s pursuers, Rusty and the now ponified and prone form of Rose. Twinkle kept looking back at Rusty and the cars of the IHSA as they gave chase, trying to make sense of the last half-hour. “Is it always this way with humans outside of cities!?” Violet grimaced as the pale pink pony probed for answers, even at this time. “Never, or almost never! Now shut up unless you have something useful to say!” Violet ordered, her voice muffled under the gas mask that Jorge had thrown her. Her eyes flashed toward the mirrors as the car took on an exit toward the city center, bouncing about at the various cracks in the road impeded their progress as best they could. As they roared along the concrete, behind them a multitude of vehicles started to stabilize themselves, acting under orders from one very pissed off Lieutenant Samuel Standish. Rusty kept moving from the back of the truck bed over to the new pony among their ranks, the mare’s eyes still wide open, with tears dried from the whipping wind around them. Counting the vehicles, Rusty was dumbfounded to see the semi truck they tore through barrelling down the road behind the rest of the cars, torn metal shooting sparks up as it clashed against the highway. Staying low, the red stallion crawled past Rose and slid open the back window. “We’ve got five on us, including the damn semi truck we tore through!” “Are you fucking serious?!” Violet nearly screamed in frustration. She was not going to ever get used to the horrible trend that seemed to have appeared since she left the Tower. “The semi. Goddamnit.” Reaching a hand back, the girl hastily ripped off the gas mask and tossed it in the space between her and Twinkle. Drinking in fresh air, the girl wiped her eyes and tried to get a better look at the cityscape they were approaching. “Son of a Bitch they’ve got the helicopter up,” Rusty commented, his tone unamused as the black shape of the military chopper took to the air. Violet shook her head violently her eyes finally registered what was in her hand. Looking at the gun Jorge had handed her, she spun and looked back, her mind screaming for plans and escapes. Twinkle gave the red colt a reluctant look as she shook her head. “I can’t say I’m a fan of your language today, Rusty,” she sighed, having nothing to offer the conversation. The stallion shook his head in amused disbelief. “There’s a time to be a pony and a time to act a bit more like a human, and right now we’re being chased by armed and trained men with guns and a fucking helicopter. Twinkle, I know you’re an Equestria girl, but gain a little perspective - a dirty mouth is not on my list of issues right now!” Rusty sighed as he popped his head out of cabin as he watched the helicopter start to overtake the other vehicles, and quickly latched himself to the bed as Violet spun the wheel unto the city streets of Sante Fe. The car bumped along as it hit the abandoned streets, Violet’s eyes looking for sharp turns and tall buildings in which to lose their hunters, trying to get a feel for the truck’s ability for dangerous maneuvers. Screeching the tires as the truck made a hard left, the group could feel a couple wheels fall off the world as the truck became a two-wheeled car. “Twinkle, need a little help here!” Galvanized, the unicorn’s horn screamed to life as it hastily pushed a counter force against the truck, popping it back on four wheels as the sound of a whirling blades started to near. Rusty pushed up against the turquoise-maned pegasus, making sure the action hadn’t... done anything more to the girl he couldn’t be sure was even there anymore. “I bet you hate how you keep finding yourself in such shit, eh, Rose?” Rusty chuckled hoarsely as he looked on behind. One of the cars had spun out completely on the corner, while the others had merely slowed down, deciding not to attempt such a sharp corner without magical air. Smoke issued from both wheels and engine from the failed car, giving Rusty slight hope in their ability to evade their pursuers. Looking back at the pony before him, he couldn’t help but notice that her large eyes were dominated by iris’s of her namesake - rose-colored. And they were staring right at him. Bullrushing the back window, Rusty nicked his head a bit on the top piece of plastic, but otherwise he face had a silly little grin. “I’ve got a reaction!” “A what?” Twinkle guessed. “Little busy, need a bit more than that, Rusty!” Violet called out, again refusing to slow down as the truck spun around another corner. “Twinkle! Push!” she shouted, the truck again groaning as it felt its grip to the road giving away, and again the exasperated unicorn pushed against the broadside of the vehicle. “What is with human transportation and its ability to make anypony piloting it a bossy little bitch!” Twinkle shouted, the engine suddenly silent as both Violet and Rusty stopped their trains of thought to look at the pink unicorn. Realizing what she said, the embarrassed mare put a hoof to her mouth. “Oh! Um-” “Now that’s more like it!” Rusty cheered playfully, Violet shaking her head - in the middle of a life-and-death struggle, these ponies seemed to find light in the situation. Looking to his side a moment, Rusty once again saw the form of Rose and tapped the girls. “I saw something! Rose was looking at me! Right at me with her big ol’ eyes!” Twinkle looked back pushing the red colt’s head straight out of her way as Violet tried to keep her truck on the road. However, the moving pony proved to be a bit of a distraction for the purple-haired driver, so she shot a hand out and pushed the unicorn back to her seat. “Steady, Twinkle! I don’t even want to think about anything other than getting somewhere safe! Or at least somewhere to hide...!” Heeding her terms, the unicorn kept herself forward focused and task oriented, instead opting to stick her head out the window and look up. “Violet, that helicopter is still up there. We need to find higher buildings or something-” “Santa Fe doesn’t have taller buildings!” Rusty cut in, Violet shaking her head violently. Screeching the wheels again, Twinkle was starting to believe the purple-haired female was turning sharply just to shut everypony up, her horn keeping the truck steady as it flew through the intersections, the sound of gunfire behind them as a number of vehicles attempted to make a mark on the truck. However, it didn’t make Rusty any happier. “Bullets! They’re shooting at us! Goddamn, why are they this pissed at us!?” “You did nearly run a couple over!” Twinkle shouted at the stallion. The red pony contemplated this, but only ended up shrugging and looking a bit sheepish. Violet looked back a moment, her mind racing with questions. They were just a group of ponies - plus one human. There wasn’t that much of a need to track them down - Not even under some vague idea of Rose being important to the HLF. But then again.... Reaching for the gas mask, Violet brought it close to her chest as her other hand steered the gar, still white knuckling her. “I’ve got an idea why.” Twinkle’s eyes flashed as she eyed the gas mask. “Violet, why do you have that thing, anyway? What’s so important about it?” She paused as her brain started to work. “And why are they chasing us!?” “It’s that ponification serum - the kind from your Bureau. They’ve been modifying it. Making it gaseous. It’s what they did to Rose.” Violet said, her voice deadpan as she found a curved road to turn unto. They had already lost three vehicles - the semi among the first to go. But two very capable cars were still on their tail, and the helicopter above keeping an eye on them - before long the others who were still working would be on them thanks to it. “It doesn’t have any sedatives in it, so they did it to her when she was... she was conscious, Twinkle.” “Mongrels!” the unicorn spat. Violet raised her brow at the visceral response, but made no effort to stop it. “There’s a reason why we never made chambers for mass conversion - nevermind the parallels to your World War II villains.” Twinkle looked up above towards the helicopter, her eyes narrowing before she stuck her head back in the cabin. “There’s no way to portion gas right - especially for inhalation. They were liable to kill her, not to mention- Oh sweet Celestia, Violet, I need to get back there!” Twinkle suddenly shifted herself, but the human pushed her back down. “Violet! She needs attention! The amount of strain a mind goes through-” “I know. I saw it. THEY MADE ME WATCH!” Violet screamed, not tearing her eyes of the road. Twinkle could only huff in disbelief, shaking her head in alarm. Violet slammed on the accelerator with all she had as she drove the car into another side street, this time clashing up against a wall instead of relying on Twinkle’s magic. Sickening scrapes caused Rusty to cover himself and Rose with a blanket as sparks flew alongside the truck, the driver side mirror completely scrapped as its shards rained out upon the sidewalk beside it. Thanking whatever deity she could think of, the Ford’s wheels squealed as it rocked back onto the street, before Violet spotted a building before a fork in the road. Rusty stuck his head in, shaking some debris from his mane as he looked about. “The hell was that for!?” he called, before Violet gestured weakly with her thumb. “Last second turn, didn’t really think about it. Did those bastards make it?” she asked, not daring to turn and look. And it’s not like she could use her side view mirror. However, Rusty had the courage to look, and was gratified to see an orange Taurus find itself wedged inside of a streetlamp as he turned to see. Giving a shout, Rusty’s positive attitude was short lived as a dark black truck like their own barrelled into the turn, narrowly dodging the the broken car. “One of them did.” Rusty reported, before leaning down next to the pegasus. Succumbing to the fact he was little more than lookout at the moment, his head trailed up into the sky, catching sight of spinning blades as the helicopter ducked out of sight behind some buildings. Resting his head down, he checked over the puce pony. Bringing a hoof to her face, the red pony pushed it from side to side, trying to get a better look at the girl. “Oh, you poor, poor thing. The world’s falling apart around you and it’s not giving you room to breathe,” he sighed, laying his head down. He could hear Twinkle and Violet conversing in ever escalating tones, shaking his head slightly. “You know, Rose, I’ve got a niece I was going to see, too. A wonderful little pegasus, like yourself.” “I remember the day she was born. I was still a human then. Oh, if you could have held a baby foal in your hands, Rose.” Rusty lifted his head, the truck in the distance wasn’t really catching up, but it wasn’t getting any further away. Tears beaded around his eyes as he felt the truck take another sharp turn. “Oh my, and those little wings. She tried to flap them the moment she was delivered. Born to fly, that one.” Rusty chuckled at the memory, or maybe it was the fact he was sitting in the back of a truck during a car chase, and the only thing on his mind was the family he’d leave behind when they... if they failed to get away. “She’s turning four soon. By Celestia, how they grow.” Placing his head down, the pony averted his gaze toward the sky, hoping he wouldn’t see the hovering helicopter overhead, despite hearing the throbbing sounds echoing over the city. Closing his eyes, Rusty reflected on his niece. “I haven’t seen her in so long...” Sighing deeply, his ear turned toward the cabin, trying to gather what the girls were talking about. Probably some plan to lose the last vehicle, but unless they caused them all to eventually crash while avoiding to do the same, eventually the other vehicles would find them again thanks to the helicopter. He wondered if he’d have ever really gotten around to going had he not met Violet. He loved his family dearly, but they were so far away, and Equestria... anypony he met that went there had only sent him mail and postcards claiming what a paradise it was, and rarely returned stateside. It seemed so foreign to him, and yet... it was the only world his niece knew. None of the pain and death and car chases and forced ponification and feral animals and guns or any of that. The worst she would have by the end of this day was likely to have an uncle she never really knew. But his sister would tell her. Tell her he loved her. Tell her he held her the day she was born and promised that he’d do anything to keep her safe. “What was her name?” Rusty blinked, his thoughts dashed by a new yet familiar voice. Jerking his head towards the source, he was caught off-guard by the blinking rose-colored orbs that stared at him. “Your niece... What was her name?” Clearing his throat, the stallion couldn’t suppress his smile even if he wanted to. “Prairie Fire,” he choked out, blinking away tears. “Her name is Prairie Fire. She’s the most beautiful little thing in the world. Orangish Red coat, just a bit lighter than mine, and a crazy little mop of blue-green hair for a mane, little curls everywhere. Her mom says it’ll straighten out in time - all of us did growing up. Except me, of course, before I went pony.” Rose nodded weakly, her eyes trailing over the flashing scenery. Her body ached and her vision was blurry at best, but she could recognize her friend, even if she could have never considered him such just a short twenty four hours ago. “Violet... Where’s Violet...?” she breathed, as if she had some warning for her. Rusty sighed and shook his mane. “Piloting the truck, of course. But uh... this is hard to explain, but we’re on the run for our lives...” Violet’s voice cut the air between them as her hand landed on the gearshift. “Okay, everypony,” she shouted, a small smirk playing on her lips as she uttered the pony-only phrase. “Hang on! Rusty, keep Rose safe as best you can, ‘cause we got a plan!” “We do not have a plan and you are not-” Twinkle roared, before the car made a stunted jerk forward before slowing down considerably. Violet spun her hands around the wheel until it could go no more, and the truck lurched into an insane spin, its forward momentum impeded. Forcing itself to move, the truck shifted right some as the four wheels screeched and left trails of burnt rubber on the tarmac, the faraway black truck closing in on them. Violet kept the company of ponies intact, her thoughts idling out to her grandfather who had taught her to drive. As the truck came to a sudden and jerky stop, Violet’s hands patted down every part of her body to make sure she was all there, before feeling a hoof become hard pressed on her side, the unicorn giving a half hearted buck in the cramped space. “Don’t you dare do that again!” she shouted, but Violet could only shake her head with a smile on her face. “Just stay there a moment, Twinkle, and wait for my signal.” Violet breathed, closing her eyes a moment. Nodding her head, she opened the door, much to the protests of the unicorn. “You’re going to get yourself killed!” the unicorn shouted, but the girl just shrugged it off. “I’ll leave that up to you, sorry!” Violet replied in a sing-song voice, covering her nerves up. As she walked out into the open, she saw Rusty looking about confused. “Hey there, Red. Sorry about this in advance, but we couldn’t keep driving like this - we’re nearly out of gas as it is. You bought a hell of a gas guzzler.” “Violet..?” Rose called out, gingerly lifting herself up. At her mere voice, Violet slammed up against the truck bed and peered into the back. Rose’s wings moved awkwardly as she tried to move to her hooves, finding difficulty. “Shit, I thought it would be like crawling on your hands and feet...” Twinkle had her head stuck out of the back, her voice soft as she gave advice. “Just... take it slow dear, the magic helps you get around it. Just try moving naturally and it should come easier to you.” Rose gave a dry chuckle. “Natural... right.” “Rose. Oh... I thought you were- he said there was only a small chance...” Violet couldn’t think of anything, but instead captured the girl’s head in her arms and brought her in for a hug. “Thank goodness you’re alright!” Rose struggled against the girl’s arms, but soon melted into the gesture, sighing hard. “For at least another five seconds. Violet, we have company.” Rusty cut in, pointing a hoof towards the black truck. It slowed down nearby, two men in uniform could be seen through its windows. Above, the helicopter passed, Violet looking on as she recognized the man who stood, framed by its own side entrance. Looking back down to the two men who were mobilizing, Violet’s arms raised up high as she stepped forward. “Heads down, ponies, Rose.” Violet muttered under her breath, her mind not making the distinction for her once-human friend. Taking a few steps toward the other black truck, the doors soon flew open as one of the men came out, brandishing a service issue handgun. “Stop right there.” Violet’s feet stopped short as she eyed the man. The driver of the vehicle soon stepped out of the car as well, although he had no weapon to call his own. Instead, he brandished a night stick, likely pillaged from some abandoned police station. “Don’t take another step,” he bellowed, earning him a look of disgust from the girl. “Yes, because I’m so likely to disobey a direct order from a man holding a gun,” she chided, shaking her head. “Look buddy, I don’t know what’s going on here, but you all had no right to hold any of my friends hostage, or do what you did to Rose.” The driver shrugged it off, paying little mind toward her words. “Orders is orders, ma’am. Maybe when you put fifteen years of service into the army an’ then get screwed into handling domestic disputes fer the last three years, maybe we’ll listen to what you have ta say.” The other soldier shot him a look, but he ignored it. As he stood, a voice crackled over the black trucks radio, Violet recognizing the tones as belonging to Lt. Standish. Still, she might as well run her mouth. “So that’s that? If your orders are to kill innocent people, whose only crime is that they’re related to some bad apple, it’s justified? You’re with the IHSA-” “The what?” “Ugh.” Violet slapped her hand on her forehead. “The I-H-S-A. “ The driver looked over to his companion, a look of bemusement on his face. “‘The fuck calls it the ‘Ehhsah’?” The gun toting soldier shrugged as he entered the cabin of his truck, intent on answering Standish’s call. Cheeks red with embarrassment, the purple-haired girl pressed on. “It doesn’t matter how it’s called! You’re supposed to protect humanity’s survival! Not kill them! That’s the opposite of what you’re called to do!” She looked about, her ears hearing the helicopter above, but she couldn’t see him among the buildings. Smirking, she shook her head. “Don’t you think that’s hypocritical?” The driver shrugged, “Hey, we’re not trying to kill anyone. We’re just trying to remove the humans that aren’t beneficial from the future. Through ponification. They still live... sometimes. But we’ll get it right sooner or later.” The gunman exited the cab, rolling his head around his neck as he turned toward Violet. “Orders from Standish. Kill the girl, and the ponies.” The human girl was taken aback by the candid answer, but shook off her shock quickly. “Well, nevermind. I guess we are in the killing business again!” The driver chuckled, gesturing from the gunman to Violet, a sick smile on his face. “It’s nothing personal, love. Orders is orders, y’know.” As he spoke, the man raised his weapon up to Violet, his hand clicking the safety off. Violet’s face darkened, her expression changing from fear to a dire grimness. “Yeah.” A faint purple sparkle appeared around the firearm, giving the gunman pause before the offending weapon was ripped from his hands by an invisible force. As it soared through the air, Violet reached into her pocket and brought out Jorge’s gun, aiming it toward the gunman and firing. She missed the first two shots, but connected with his head with the next. The driver scarcely had time to turn around before a bullet collided with his back, downing the man immediately. “Nothing personal.” Violet wanted to throw up. Twinkle did. Rusty popped his head out from the back, fearing the worst as he soon saw Violet standing still out in the open, the drumming of heartbeats coinciding with the throbbing of helicopter blades. Keeping on his good hooves, the red stallion rushed to Twinkle’s aid, who was currently hanging out of the truck window on the passenger’s side. Rose kept looking at her hooves, then over to her wings, the appendages twitching oddly as she tried to figure out how they moved. Numbly, Violet spun about and approached the truck bed, placing her hand on its edge. Looking over the assembled group of ponies, she silently turned to see the helicopter in the distance. She saw the form of Lieutenant Standish, and shot him the finger in a flare of anger. Suddenly, she felt a hoof on her hand, turning to see Rose. The girl seemed worse for wear, but she was nothing tragic, at least on the surface. No words were shared between the two, merely taking solace in the fact that they were both, for lack of a better word, okay. Spinning on her heels, Violet pointed to the other truck, putting on a thin smirk. “We got gas.” ----- Piling into the new truck, Violet took little time in acquainting herself to the mildly different controls and quickly noticed she was dealing with an automatic rather than a manual, much to her pleasure. Twinkle and Violet even brought the mattress over, even though it didn’t fit as well. There was little discussion on seats, Rusty taking the passenger’s seat while the mares took the truck bed, Rose unfurling her wings and shrugging. Violet removed the holster from one of the agent’s belts, taking note that the driver had a holster himself, but no gun with it. Still, gas mask in hand, she grabbed some of the tools from Rusty’s truck and threw it in the space between the seats and the truck bed. However, the barking voice of Lt. Standish coming from the radio was certainly a problem, as the human turned to her pony friends as they all got themselves in mildly comfortable positions. Turning the vehicle on, the truck started to move out, just as the IHSA members in the crashed Taurus were coming around. Grabbing the radio receiver, Violet thumbed the response button in her hand as they drove. Standish had to know, even from a distance, that things had not worked out to his advantage. Violet and the ponies were up to three guns now, the one they had taken from the soldier, Jorge’s, and the weapon used to kill Richard. If anything, Violet figured she had enough ammo to justify missing a few shots. “Hey, Jackass.” Violet called out to Standish, giving the others pause. She honestly didn’t know what she was doing, but she was playing it by ear. “I’ve been coming to terms about just what the hell you think you’re doing, and I’ve got a basic idea on how bad you’ve fucked up today.” There was silence on the other end as the truck continued on, the blades of the chopper close behind as Standish ordered his pilot to continue on. Trading glances with Rusty, Violet shook her head. Despite this, an answer called out from the radio. “Yeah, and how do you figure?” Violet smirked, “Well, for one, you failed on your assassination attempt; Bravo there, let a witness get away from you; Two, actually, counting one pony; And lost a number of your agents, all of which seems pretty bad from where I’m standing.” Although Violet had to admit, a lot of what she had gotten away with today was due to her pony friends, Twinkle in particular. Feeling mildly pleased with herself, the purple haired human smirked. “Oh you think you’re so smart, huh? Stupid little bitch, well let me tell you something! I’ve got loads of goddamn gas on this thing, enough to coat three square miles of this fucking city! You think you’re getting away from that?!” Violet raised an eyebrow, passing a glance over to Rusty. The pony looked in the back, spotting the gas mask among the other tools. Standish continued his little tirade over the coms as Violet reached back with a lazy hand, nabbing the headgear as she gave a short smirk. “You’re bluffing. There could be a hundred people left in Santa Fe still, are you really going to risk killing all of them just to get to three nondescript ponies and a little girl? Not to mention some of your men may still be alive down here.” Violet’s tone was as sweet as it was sickening, the red stallion giving the girl a smirk as he looked back at the mare’s in the back. Twinkle seemed interested in the conversation, but Rose was far more interesting. Despite driving at some fifty miles per hour, the new pony was on all four limbs, wings outstretched as she felt the wind rush beneath her wings, the sensation of flying so great that a look of serene calm was crossed over the ponies features. Violet took a stare at the radio a moment as she looked about the truck, seeing if she could catch the helicopter which burned in her ears. Perhaps her last threat had won her the day? Turning off to a side street, the only sentient with jeans still on was soon cut off from her fleeting moment of triumph. “They’re expendable. Besides, haven’t you seen this city? Empty! Not a man nor pony among its walls. The homeless are all ponies, and the humans have left for bigger and better things. Those that are here are like roaches. Useless to humanity. Maybe they’ll do better as ponies.” Twinkle gasped sharply at the thought of the lieutenant releasing such a weapon on his own men, shuddering in disgust. “Doesn’t he have any loyalty?” she exclaimed, putting a hoof to her mouth. “If he had any of that, we wouldn’t be in this mess. He literally thinks he’s helping the IHSA cause,” Rusty muttered darkly, catching sight of the helicopter for a brief moment before Violet turned a corner. Twinkle nodded. “Either way, we can’t call his bluff, if somepony is living here- I mean, if some person, human, is living here, then we can’t just let him dump the potion! They could be hurt, or killed!” Shaking her mane about, the unicorn felt helpless. “Violet, you have to stop him!” Rose opened an eye, bending her knees slightly to cut herself away from the wind. However, her back legs fell wrong and she ended up falling into a laying position, her wings still outstretched and picking up the wind from the sides of the vehicle. Noting her comfort in such a position, the pegasus tapped her hoof against Twinkle’s back left limb, causing the unicorn to look back. “Tell the fucker we’ll meet him somewhere.” Twinkle stared at the girl, but soon shook her head as she turned to Violet and related the idea. “Rose says to orchestrate a meeting with him.” Violet looked back at Twinkle, her face awash in confusion. “What? Seriously?” “That’s not what I said! Twinkle, tell ‘er what I said word-for-word.” Twinkle shot a glare back at the pegasus, but relented, her mind filling with guilt over the pegasus’ circumstance. “Ahem... what she said was... ‘Tell the fucker we’ll meet him somewhere’,” she still ended up staring daggers at the pegasus. “Good?” “Great,” Rose said, looking pleased with herself. Violet gaped momentarily, but soon shook her head. Mulling over the details, she at least could keep the conversation going. “Well, fine. Let’s see where this goes...” She mused, shaking her head. Clicking the radio, she kept her voice level as she delivered on the idea. “Okay, Standish. You called my bluff. We’ll meet you somewhere, and we’ll try to talk this out. No one else has to die.” However, this time Standish was quick to reply. “That’s Lieutenant Standish, girl. But let’s make this very clear, I can’t have you or your friends live, so let’s get this straight - you will be dying. It’s just whether or not you want the gas to kill you and leave your friends stranded as well as play roulette with the humans left in the city, or to just die heroically. That said, meet me at Arovista Park in an hour. Thank you Violet, it’s been a pleasure.” There was a silence in the truck after a very resolute sounding click, causing the truck to slow to a stop, Violet eventually turning off the engine as she stared blankly at the assembled ponies. “Well... shit.” ----- Violet sat on the sidewalk, resting her arm over her knee as she heard the passing helicopter above. It had only been fifteen minutes since the announcement, and since then she had parked inside a store, taking no mind of the fact she drove through the glass doors to do so. However, seated under an awning, she had little reason to fear being seen. Alongside her sat the pegasus Rose, the girl apparently taking her transformation in stride. As she stared at the pony, Violet sighed wistfully. “Doesn’t it... bother you?” She began, trying to find the best words. Rose looked up, her eyes lit in tempered curiosity. “What? Being forcefully turned into what I considered a sin against nature less than twenty-four hours ago? Back when I had a fucking brother and, until you showed up, blissfully unaware of the fact my dad had died?” Violet sighed, running her hand through her hair. “I was gonna find a better time to bring that up, but yeah. Here you are, sitting on a sidewalk, wings sticking out of your back... You’re a pony,” she breathed, laying her head against the wall. “And I saw you awake during the conversion. That’s not... I mean... shouldn’t you be...” “Psycho? Broken? Dead inside?” Violet simply nodded. “What, did you forget that he shot me up full of chemicals before I nearly choked to death on purple smoke?” Rose questioned. Violet’s eyes shot up, but Rose looked away. “I don’t like it, and it did hurt, but only as much as a really bad sneeze that you feel in your arms. But being awake for it? Listening and watching as your own bones snap and reposition themselves, seeing yourself light up like a fuckin’ Christmas Tree? Yeah, it shocked me.” Violet cringed horridly, in which Rose smirked. “Yeah, kinda the reaction I got out of it. Except a lot worse,” she chided, before instinctively trying to run a hoof through her hair. Taking a moment to realize she had no fingers in which the hair to go through, she placed her hoof back down and stood up - a bit more stably this time. “Still though, can’t complain too much. I’ve got wings, and once I get used to doing the whole flapping thing... Well, you’ll be hard pressed to get much complaints from me. Thank God I didn’t become an Earth pony. Or is that ‘Thank Celestia’ now?” “You could say Luna, too. Mix it up a little,” Violet teased, a sad smile still on her face. As she leaned her head back, the human closed her eyes. “Rose... when I said Fred was dead... I didn’t know he was your dad. Or that he was head of the HLF. I’m so sorry...” Rose bleated, catching herself in mid-motion as she chuckled at the equine mannerism. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t get along with dear ‘ol Dad much anyway. Or hear from him, Richard neither. He was as much the ‘head’ of the Human Liberation Front as the Queen of England ‘ran’ Britian. More a figurehead to respect if anything.” Exhaling, it was clear the topic didn’t much interest the puce pegasus, but she went on. “God, he owned that title though. He actually thought everyone and their mom had to treat him like a king! Like it was worth bein’ the head of what basically was a terrorist group.” Shaking her mane, Rose quit the motion quickly, her eyes narrowing. Giving it some thought, the pegasus slowly gave a full head shake, unused to the pony equivalent. “That said, I do seem to be in the business for some new family.” Violet’s eyes opened incredulously, her face breaking out into a huge grin. “Just like that, you’re gonna get over all of this?” she mused, coughing slightly as a brisk wind stole her breath away. “Sure that’s not the ponification talking?” Rose sighed, bringing herself up on four hooves, which only brought her slightly above Violet’s head where she sat. “Actually, to be honest? I’m pretty sure it is.” The human’s eyebrows shot up, but Rose continued, “But I’m okay with that. My life is hugely fucked up right now, and if anything helps me get through it, I’ll take it.” Giving an experimental flap of the from her new extremities, the pegasus laughed for a change. “Plus, you know, wings.” “Ah yes, wings, the great equalizer!” Violet laughed, rubbing her back against the wall and feeling her shoulder blades clash with the concrete surface. “I hope I can be a pegasus once this is over,” she said, looking down at the ground. The admission caught the pegasus off-guard, her face melding into one of intrigue. “Wait, I thought we were gonna die here in a half an hour,” she admitted, shaking her head. “You know, to save the goddamn shut-ins and incidentals.” Violet smirked, shaking her head. “Oh, I have no intentions on dying, Rose. Call it that ol’ human need to survive, but I feel like throwing a couple wrenches where I can and seeing what happens.” Standing up, the girl drew herself to her full height as she watched Rusty and Twinkle appear outside, taking cautious steps around the glass until they were outside. “Even if it does mean a little pony gas here and there,” she finished, drawing the attention of the ponies nearby. Twinkle cast a lazy eye over to Violet, but she simply ended up rolling it at the girl. “I don’t know what you’re planning, I don’t want to know what you’re planning.” Shaking her mane, the unicorn bleated in displeasure. “I already know I’m not going to change your mind, and I know you’re going to need me.” Rose chuckled openly at this, giving Twinkle a once over. “Well well, a far cry from yesterday. What’s got you in such an open mood?” At this, Twinkle gave a smirk as Rusty innocently whistled off the corner of his mouth, drawing blank stares over the flower duo. “Wait. Waaaiit.” Rose shook her head violently, her mind suddenly awash in mental imagery. “Hm? What was it you said Rusty? Mmm, being chased around and having your life put on the line... is a time to be distinctly un-pony, correct?” Twinkle said with a smile, “So given our situation, I did the most human thing I can think of!” Swishing her tail back and forth, the mare decided now was as good of a time as any to make her way back through into the building where the truck lay. Violet let out a loud snerk, covering her mouth as she kept herself from giggling further. Rusty let loose a second innocent whistle, swaggering toward the doorway. But before he got too far he found himself blocked off by a fully erect pair of wings, barring his entrance back inside. In Rose’s eyes held an intensity that scared him as she stepped forward. “Hold it right there buddy, I got a question for you.” Rusty gulped loudly, running his eyes left and right in an attempt to avert the gaze Rose was inflicting on him. “Y-yes?” Narrowing her eyes, Rose outlined her query very cleanly. “Do unicorns have contraceptive magic?” * * * Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail Finale By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze Fifteen minutes until the requested time, Violet finally clicked the radio of the Toyota off and ran her hand through her hair. It was everything she could do to not pay attention in any way, shape, or form to the back of the truck bed as she did, not wishing to even see the tousled sheets and blankets. “Just over a day,” she mused, but then again, Twinkle had decided that she would act decidedly non-pony. And after running a Conversion Bureau where there were bound to be couples arriving, and more specifically, new couples leaving after a night of ‘christening’ their pony bodies, Violet didn’t much blame the unicorn for her limited view of humans. It was just embarrassing that she was right about their behavior. Still, she holstered her handgun she received from Jorge and checked her gas mask. If things went down a bad way, she wanted to be ready. And considering unless the good Lieutenant felt like being a friendly guy and came quietly, she expected some sort of bullets to fly. Likely at her, but that was just something she had to deal with. It’s not like it would be a change of pace for her at this point. Sighing through her nose, Violet mentally berated herself for not taking her hour to sleep soundly, or at least try, but all things considered she had been rather productive. She had found which magazines were interchangeable, finding that Jorge’s gun and the gun of the fallen soldier were not, but somehow the gunman’s magazine was the exact fit for Rose’s handgun. Spinning in her seat, Violet reached over and turned the truck on, shifting the headlights on in the failing daylight. Catching sight and sound, the ponies who were mulling about got up and moved toward the truck, Rose taking a moment to stop Rusty from getting in the cabin. “No way, no how loverboy. You sit in the back, where it smells of you,” Rose ordered, tripping over her hooves as she struggled to figure out which limb went where when it came to seating herself in a place meant for humans. Still, she ended up in a very close approximation of how Twinkle and Rusty sat, and soon reached a hoof out and closed the door, sighing wistfully as she did. “Don’t crash into anything, I don’t know how airbags react to ponies.” Looking about the cabin, Violet shrugged. “Neither do I, Rose. Wouldn’t it be fun to find out?” she teased, but the ponified girl merely stuck her tongue out at the human - a comparatively tame response to her usual fare. Leaning back, Violet slipped the back window open as she saw Rusty assisted into the back with Twinkle. “Hey Twinkle, how good are you at enchanting ropes into a lasso?” The pink pony in question hopped up onto the bed in the back, giving Violet an odd look. “Completely and utterly useless,” she said, deadpan. A moment later, she slapped a hoof to her face in exasperation, “Oh sweet Celestia you’re rubbing off on me.” “Relish in it, girl!” Rose called back, her head forward as she drummed her hoof on the dashboard. “So, Violet, you were on that radio for awhile, I take it the Lieutenant was a hard sell?” Violet turned to meet her gaze, but soon shrugged it off. “Not really, I haven’t even contacted him yet, but right now the worst case scenario is on a hairpin trigger, and the only thing I’ve got right now is my voice.” Rose grimaced, putting a hoof in her face as she rubbed it around. “So you’re gonna have to talk a madman down, or he’ll dump what is basically poison all over Santa Fe. Great plan, V. Real foolproof.” Violet smirked, reaching down for the radio as she shifted channels. Rose raised an eyebrow, turning over to the human. “So wait, I heard you talking - who were you talking to?” With a smile, Violet gave a soft wink. “It really wasn’t that hard to guess what was going on, so I asked Twinkle about how she used to get in contact with the IHSA, and I kinda... extrapolated from there.” Pulling out of the store, the light sound of helicopter blades could still be heard as the truck started its trek through the city. “However, there are two things I need to get cleared out of the way, and the rest I’ll explain along the way.” Making sure everything was set accordingly, the girl popped her radio on as she raised the receiver to her mouth. “Alright, Lt. Standish, I got a couple demands, and if you don’t mind, I’m just gonna go ahead and give them. See, turns out having a crack team of pony professionals with me is great for the karma, and things have been really working out in my favor since you said you wanted me dead. Oh, and thanks for the warning and an hour to prepare, great military genius that is.” “Of course, you’re not really in the military. Not anymore, Sammy. Funny thing about going rogue, kinda strips you of your rank and pisses a lot of people off. So don’t think you’re safe out east anymore where the magic’s a bit thinner than here.” Violet watched the look on Rose’s face, gauging her reaction as she spoke. “Also, how’s the gas up there? You didn’t have time to refuel what little resources you had back at base, and I know you don’t have any AI units laying around to automate that shit. So let’s see, a trip to Albuquerque, a trip back, and now you’ve been hovering over Sante Fe for almost an hour after a rousing game of cat and mouse - where the mouse happened to kill a number of cats with a gun and a pick-up.” “So here’s the deal, Standish. You meet me at the Bataan Building. Then we’ll kinda go from there. And as an incentive not to throw a bitch fit, this is literally the only option you have in staying alive to see the sunset. Toodles!” Clicking the radio off, the girl hung the receiver up and turned the radio off, taking all her willpower in not throwing the device out the window to prove a point. However, that all didn’t quite sit well with a certain puce pegasus. “The hell was that?” Violet smirked, pouring on the accelerator. “Common sense. He didn’t have any to start, so why not use my own against him?” Violet spent the next ten minutes outlining her plan, and then spent the next two hundred feet toward the building. “And lastly, I haven’t the slightest clue where the hell Arovista Park is.” ----- Violet stood on the lower roof of the Bataan building, taking great pride in her state; to have built such a monument that, unlike some of the other fixtures of society, had decidedly stayed strong despite weathering and misuse. She felt almost bad that it was likely not to look as nice as it did when she arrived. “Mom would be furious,” she tittered, remembering her mother’s old motto. Always leave things how you left it... “Ponies not withstanding, Mom.” Keeping an eye to the sky, eventually the girl saw the incoming helicopter, popping up from below a low hilltop. Violet felt quite proud of herself for evading capture in such a city - there weren’t too many tall buildings in Sante Fe, having only just released the restrictions on building heights a couple years prior to first contact. It made her smile, despite her given situation, a last shred of pride to take from this day. Her grandpa would be proud of her. Making herself seen on the roof of the building, Violet soon brought herself close to a wall that would separate her and the helicopter, not allowing the man to take any sort of pot shot at her from his flying perch. The chopper circled the building a couple times before a low whine exhumed from the vehicle, and it wasn’t long at all before the human found herself with some company on the rooftops. Stepping out a little bit, Violet watched the man carefully as he exited the helicopter, his normal demeanor completely removed. However, he didn’t have a gun immediately drawn, so Violet took a step out into the open. She smirked as she resisted the urge to cross her arms, keeping her hand glued to her side, near the holster. “Good to see you, Sammy.” “Lieutenant Standish, bitch,” the man seethed, his hand reaching for his gun. Just as quickly, Violet grabbed hold of the agent’s grip, raising her hand out and shaking her finger. “Nah-uh-uh, Sammy.” Her eyes flashed toward the pilot, who was obviously making no moves to interact between the two. She was glad that he was narcissistic enough to ride along in the helicopter. “I’m here to give you one chance to surrender, come quietly, and maybe you can live the rest of your days in jail. Or, you can die here, today, with no hope of a future, and your name to be tarnished from the records of history.” Standish shook his head through gritted teeth, his hand coming to rest on his gun. “You have no idea what you’re doing, girl! There are bigger things at play here, and you won’t stop it! Humanity is a dying breed, and it will go out gloriously! There will only be the best there is when we finally burn out. I’m doing good work.” “You’re doing shit other than committing genocide. Where else have you made your little test runs? There are tons of little towns and cities around here with dwindling human populations. They can’t all of been HLF!” Violet defended, her hand coming in full grips with the metal beneath it. “What was left either were or they refused us. Sloths! Roaches!” Standish barked his words like an animal, giving Violet legitimate pause. “You haven’t seen them, these useless bones, dwindling their days on what was, instead of what is! I tried to save them - ponies are a salvation for the pests! They weed out the weak and make them strong!” He was shaking now, his head nodding in agreement to his own words. Violet took a step back, her eyes furrowed. Her mind echoed the words of Jorge as she felt his gun concealed behind her, held there by her belt. Things have been getting riled up as of late - the brass says it’s the magic in the atmosphere, makin’ things go wild! “Samuel, look-” Violet began, but soon found her words cut off as the sound of engines caught her ear. Looking about, the girl saw a number of cars, trucks, and the damaged semi coming up the road. “Oh sweet Christ... Tell me you didn’t...” The ex-Lieutenant laughed aloud, “Oh, say my choices are to die or go peacefully? Well lemme present option number three - where you die, and I get back to my superiors and tell them our little mess has been cleaned up.” Drawing out his gun, Violet quickly withdrew her own and pointed at the man, turning herself sideways as she did. At the moment, the man merely chuckled. “What, you think standing that way makes you look good shootin’, hunny?” “Not really, but I’m the one with the gun trained on you, so any sudden movements and I’ll blow your head off-” However, Violet wasn’t actually prepared for any sudden movements, and Standish quickly fired his gun, missing by a mile as the bullet collided with the wall behind Violet as he emptied his clip willy nilly at the girl. Dashing toward some cover, Violet aimed down the sights of her weapon and shot off a couple rounds until she heard the tell-tale click of an empty chamber, swearing lightly as she dropped the magazine and put in Rose’s ammo clip, having expected the soldier’s clip to have held more bullets. “Son of a Bitch runs a shit ship,” she cursed, peering from behind cover. As she did, she reached behind her back and produced the gas mask. “You’re a damn poor shot, hunny.” Standish laughed, the engines nearby roaring as they neared the building. “It’s a good thing my men are trained shots. It won’t take them long to down a couple of fuckin’ ponies.” Violet smirked, keeping her head down. “Who said they were here?” As she kept behind the wall that kept her from Standish’s bullets, she heard a loud, high pitched ‘pssssh’ sound that could only come from a leaky gas valve. “And what makes you think I was aiming for you?” Or in her case, a crack caused by a bullet in an otherwise pressurized container full of gaseous ponification serum that was currently leaking into the air. Strapping her mask on, Violet took a second to peer at the hissing container, before ducking back under cover at the sound of gunfire. Turning around, Standish could see the crack in the container, and that much pressure trying to force itself out of one container could only mean one thing. Taking her chance, the girl only had one shot to make it count, her mind buzzing with the idea that with all the men surrounding the building, her friends weren’t going to survive an attack, no matter her bluff toward the Lieutenant. Looking down her sights, the girl reflected how yesterday had started out like any other these past few years. Always in a fog, never remembering one moment after another. She barely remembered her time at the Tower, except for Alfred. He must be worried sick by now, she mused, her eye trained on the plume of purple smoke as the militarily dressed man started to wheel about. What an awful time she had over the last two days. Breaking down and crying in front of so many ponies in front of the Bureau... not to mention in front of Rusty and Twinkle. And then she was chased down by a semi-truck! But it wasn’t all bad. She saved the life of Rose, and she made friends with two very special ponies. She felt herself inwardly laugh. Guess it was three very special ponies now. The hammer fell, her gun twitching with the recoil of the explosion in her hand. To be fair, it reminded her of the initial hit of the semi against the back of Rusty’s Ford. That poor stallion, his feet are still bruised from bucking that grill, and no amount of modified socks is going to change that for at least a week. Still, he did eventually help dislodge the semi, instead of taking the truck with it. Violet wondered if she had thanked him for it. Twinkle sure had, that’s for sure. To think, only a day had gone by since some self-imposed imprisonment, and here she was, shooting at the best made plans by some terrorist cell. What a tale this was. The bullet collided perfectly along the crack, exposing a much larger hole in the exterior of the container, fitted just inside the open door of the helicopter that Standish so graciously left open for her. The hole created, the pressure was let out in an explosive manner as the metal casing exploded inside the helicopter. Standish threw himself to the ground, a wave of purple mist washing over him as another explosion erupted from the helicopter, and another - every tank of serum had exploded, until the entire aerial vehicle erupted in a fireball, its fuel tank gauged by flying metal shards. Making sure her mask was on proper, the girl let herself get washed in the mist, the thick fog raining over the building and cascading down toward the vehicles below. Three square miles of ponification serum all dumped in one spot, the cloud made its way around the assembled soldiers, completely taken off-guard by the rushing debris that fell over them. Despite the mask, Violet breathed very little, unsure if the headgear could take sure high amounts of potion, and she was unwilling to test its limits. All she knew was that there was little else to see outside the mist, and very slowly picked herself up to her feet. Looking about, the purple haired girl could hear the screams of the soldiers below as the were forcefully put through ponification. She didn’t wish such a fate on them, but she knew it was them or her friends, and there was no silver lining that could save both groups. Exhaling deeply, the girl replaced a little air in her lungs as she moved toward the burning wreckage next to the tower. The helicopter had literally blown a hole through the wall, exposing the staircase within. If anything, it gave Violet another way down. Tossing Rose’s gun to the side, she didn’t much think there were bullets left in it anyway. “Violet?” a voice called, the human girl identifying it as the voice of Twinkle. The unicorn appeared nearby, her head just barely above the ponification smoke around her, the thick gas barrelling past them as Twinkle made her way over to her friend. “What the hell happened to the plan? I was going to rip the gun from like I did the agent, and we could have stopped him!” Violet sighed deeply, shaking her head in response. “He surrounded us, Twinkle. There was so little we could do with all of his forces here, I had to make a decision - them, or us. It may have meant less lives... but I’m not going to regret it. Besides, maybe some of them will live on as ponies.” Twinkle gave her a very disapproving stage, but Violet ignored it as best she could. “Sometimes, Twinkle, you have to take what little victories you can. He wasn’t... right, in the head. I don’t think there was any reasoning with him, gun or no.” Twinkle sighed openly, but soon waived her hoof around, pushing the smoke this way and that. “I’m sure all this potion isn’t healthy for anypony, even you in your mask. Do you think we should just leave Standish up here-” Bang. There was a scream as a bits of pale pink pony flew off of Twinkle, the pony dropping to the ground under a mist of purple. Spinning around, Violet could see the form of a man in a gas mask, heaving deeply as he held a gun in his hand as a low chuckle emanated from below his mask. “You will call me by my proper name and rank! Lieutenant Standish!” He bellowed as Violet stumbled back. Her mind clicking into fight or flight mode, Violet reached for the gun Jorge gave her and whipped it out, firing a blind shot toward the Lieutenant. Clipping his side, the bullet cut the man along his waistline, causing him to fall to his knee a moment. However, before Violet had time to react, Standish pointed his gun at her again, and she could feel the bullet whiz through her hair. Breathing Twinkle’s name, the girl spun about, taking off for the hole in the wall, trying her best to ignore the heat coming from the burning wreckage or the bullets as they collided with the wall next to her. As she reached the stairs, Violet instinctively started to head down the steps, before pausing as her foot hit the first stair. Rose and Rusty were still inside, and she couldn’t rightly lead Standish to them. Looking up, Violet dashed up the steps along the tower wall and checked the magazine Jorge had left for her. Just a single bullet left, she could feel it. Taking off up the stairs, she could hear the heavy footsteps of the man she had come to hate so much come stumbling up the stairs after her. “Come here, hunny! Option three is still open, bitch! We gave your plan a try, now give mine! It’s only fair!” “Fuck off!” Reaching the roof of the tower, Violet looked about in a tizzy. Head high above the weighty purple serum, Violet couldn’t stand the restricted breathing the mask was giving her. Ripping off the mask, Violet took great gulps of fresh air as she eyed the entrance she came by, waiting, watching for her antagonist. Her eyes scanned the roof below, the billowing smoke and purple mist making it hard to see. Down below, however, she could see the a faint outline of the fallen unicorn, bolstering Violet’s resolve. She would see this through. Crouching low, her mind suddenly through of the mist, and she suddenly jumped to her feet. She didn’t even know if she was safe anymore. “What took you so long, Violet?” The girl felt a shiver run down her spine as Standish called up to her. “It’s been so many years. Why now?” Violet wiped her forehead with her forearm and kept her gun trained on the entrance to the roof. “I think I know why. It’s because you’re just like them. Another weak and pathetic sloth. You’re a blight on humanity. You’re worse than the HLF! You are worthless.” Violet froze. She was not. She had driven the truck from the maw of the lorry. She had saved Rose from the fall off the expressway. She evaded trained personnel in an urban setting and outsmarted an officer. She was so not worthless. Aiming the weapon, the girl strode forward, catching glimpse of the man’s upper body as she called upon thunder. Pulling the trigger, Violet’s bullet cut itself through the man’s collarbone cracking his left side. Holding the weapon where she fired it, Violet stared hard at the man as he took another step forward. And another. And another. Fear welled in her heart as Standish kept moving, his body bleeding profusely. Stepping unto the top of the tower, he raised his gun at Violet, his left hand reaching up and tearing his mask off his face. “Ahh... Fresh air...!” He called out, his eyes unfocused. “Hello, Violet. I’m here to kill you.” Violet remained still, her eyes hard on Standish’s face. “Yeah, I gathered that much. I’m just happy you’ll die long before you get attention for that wound.” She snorted, the man’s face contorting to anger. “No! I am strong! I am the best humanity has to offer!” He shouted, his gun starting to tremble in his hand. “Then humanity isn’t worth anything.” “Violet!” Rose shouted, the pitterpatter of hooves signifying the rush that Rusty and Rose were making up the stairs. “We can’t find Twinkle and-” The ponies stopped short of the entrance, seeing Standish move his gun toward Rose’s forehead. Standish’s smile never wavered. “If I am worth nothing, these ponies are worth less than nothing!” Violet felt everything at once. Pain, anger, sadness... Rose had had enough happen. She was going to be okay. She would will it into existence if she had to, but that pegasus would live! Standish went to pull the trigger. A loud snap. A scream. Holding his left arm, Standish felt another unnatural snap issue forth from his forearm, his fingers on his left hand starting to meld into his palms. “W-what is-” Along his side, the cut where Violet’s bullet had torn into his skin shimmered and bubbled with serum, providing direct access to his bloodstream. “N-no! I can’t! I’m the best!” His right arm shot out again, the gun again trained upon Rose. “I. Am. The. Best!” Violet couldn’t care less. Lunging forward, the girl collided with the man, pushing his hand out of the way as the bullet fired harmlessly into space. However, the two kept going, crashing into the old wooden railing. Their momentum shared, the two humans tumbled over the side, the screams of dismay coming from both pegasus pony and Earth pony. The two humans found themselves plummeting towards the ground. Violet sighed as she found herself falling through the air, closing her eyes as she dreamed she could fly. She really did want to be a pegasus; to fly through the air, not a care in the world. Standing on clouds would be cool too, taking naps on assembled droplets of water. And she could fly to and from Equestria as she pleased - she never really had to leave her home, just visit people, places. She’d soar through the air, maybe see if she couldn’t gather up a bunch of pegasi and make a city out in the Atlantic, or in the Pacific near Hawaii. Maybe she’d even take Albert up on that date. His letter had alluded as much. She hoped he’d find a mare that would actually appreciate him a bit more than she did, though. When he disappeared, Violet didn’t even go looking for him. That’s why she was in this mess in the first place, really. Because she had gone and let herself be closed off to the world. Violet smirked. Well, never again, she promised herself. For as long as she lived, she’d be very open with everyone, and actually try and enjoy life this time around. Violet got a chuckle out of that. What was there to enjoy in the time it took the hit the sidewalk? Certainly not classical music, she’d never make it through a... what was it called? Certainly not a verse, or a line. Oh, she was never any good at music. But she could act. Perhaps she could admire the works of Sir Anthony Hopkins? Now there was an actor who could command a stage or a film. Violet wondered if ponies had movies, or actors. She remembered having some conversation with Albert about it. It was like it was yesterday. Ah, it actually was yesterday. It’s how he got his cutie mark. It was comedy. Opening her eyes, Violet looked toward the direction gravity was pulling her, her body encompassed in the gas below. Funny. Violet guessed hers would have been tragedy. * * * Conversion Bureau: A Mare’s Tail Epilogue By HiddenBrony Original Concept by Blaze They say that when you die, there is a white light at the end of a long tunnel. Some say there’s a nothingness that consumes the world. Those who cross the threshold and come back reference Godly things. Some say they witness the supernatural. Science can explain some of this away, claiming hallucinations of an oxygen deprived mind. She actually never gave this much thought. If you had asked, you probably wouldn’t of gotten an answer, either. A faraway stare is all most people got. She hated the concept of death, not so much a fear of it, though. Perhaps living in such a lifestyle had deadened her to the concept, or maybe she simply accepted it - but she never liked it. It was simply something no one knew for sure, and to that end, no one should try and stuff it down her throat about what it was. And yet, facing it now? She found she really quite liked it. All around her, she could feel a rush. No, a flow about her as she felt the warmth of the sunshine through the soft glow of the stars. All around her, there were others - she couldn’t see their faces, but she recognized them none-the-less. Family, friends, people she hadn’t seen in years, all gathered around her. They cheered her appearance among them, welcoming her. It didn’t matter that they were ponies. It was her afterlife and it was what she wanted it to be. What she wanted to be. Brought along the flow, the girl soon left her friends, her family, scooting along toward a place she felt she needed to be. It was somewhere far off, but she knew she’d see all of them again. She wasn’t sad. She was at peace with herself. Ever approaching her destination, she knew it was important to be there. To meet them. Who they were didn’t matter, and where she was going she couldn’t be sure. But she was going there, and not a force in the universe would stop her. ----- Rose and Rusty stood on the top of the Bataar Building, gazing down at the mist below where it had consumed the last two humans they knew. The screams of the men below had ceased long ago, and all that was left was a deathly silence. Detaching herself from the railing, Rose finally stepped back from the ledge, shaking her head numbly as her wings furled to her sides. Rusty sighed through his nose as he blinked hard, looking slowly about the area. He hadn’t heard nor seen Twinkle either, and right now he already knew what happened, if Standish still had a weapon and Violet had to... He didn’t want to think about it. “She... she didn’t have to,” Rose choked. Her head was shaking from side to side as Rusty stared up at her. “She.. could have just let him shoot me. Could have punched him after. Wrenched the gun away from him while he was distracted.” Closing her eyes, tears started to flow freely down her face. Rusty walked over, embracing the poor girl in his hooves as she placed his head on hers. “Shh...sh-sh-shhh... You know she couldn’t have done that. Violet... she wouldn’t have let you get hurt anymore,” Rusty cooed, tears beading on the side of his eyes. “She knew she had to try. She always tried for us, eh? Goddamn, she tried with all she had.” He brushed a hoof through the girl’s hair, cradling the girl as she sobbed openly. She tried when they met Richard. She tried when she kept the truck on the road. She tried when she saved Rose. She tried when Rose was taken. She tried when they were chased. She tried when Standish tried to kill them. “She tried so everyone else could have a chance. A chance at a new life, a chance to see family.” Rose heaved slightly, trying to control her sobs. “It’s not...not fair! She didn’t deserve any of it!” she challenged, her eyes turning angry. However, the Earth pony quelled her rage as he hugged her close, the girl reached a hoof up and grabbing his arm, holding it close like a daughter would hold her father’s hand. “It was me. I was the one who triggered all this. I should have just... died with Richard! Then she’d still be here. She’d be alive. She’d be a pony, like she wanted...” Rusty swallowed the pressure he felt in his throat as her shook his head. “Come on, Rose. Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. Violet hated seeing people go. She wanted to cry for every bullet she fired. I could feel it. But she was stronger than that.” Patting the pegasus on the back, he started to release the girl as he returned to his four hooves. “Now we have to be strong.” Rose sniffed loudly, but got on her feet. Downtrodden, the puce pony stepped weakly toward the stairs, Rusty taking the lead as the two moved for the roof, intent on seeing the damage. His eyes focused stiffly ahead as he took it one hoof at a time, his mind not daring to think about the pale pink unicorn. She had been missing, and he didn’t dare let Rose think about it. He looked back at the pegasus, her own head bent straight down, not lifting an eye from the floor below. Her hair was so much like his niece’s, he mused, a feeling of protectiveness filling the Earth pony. He didn’t need to dwell on the facts any more than what was necessary. ----- She was running now. Soaring, even, as she made her way through the stars and hills around her. Everything was so different here, she felt in tune with everything. Not on some godly plain, but just more alive. Which, she mused, was actually fairly amusing given the circumstances. However, as she came through the aether, she could finally see her destination. A crystal palace, both transparent and completely opaque to her vision, in which the sun and moon themselves seemed to orbit continually. Laughing in some innocent joy, the girl rushed through the entrance without a care in the world, taking no time in seeing what there was to see. Colors dances around her, each surface sparkling a new shade of a color as she passed. She could hear music. A beautiful ballad as sung by a duet. She wanted to meet them, the singers. She would meet them, she would see them and then... Well, she really didn’t know what after that. But her heart pulled at her, pushing her on and on as she ran ever forward through this ancient palace of magic. ----- Rose and Rusty stepped out into the rooftop, walking around the burning wreckage of the helicopter that had somehow managed to blow itself up while they were huddled inside. Rusty didn’t much feel like scoping out the area, but his interest grew with every step, his contemplation and curiosity completely insatiable as his heart needed to know what happened to the unicorn from the Bureau. Stepping softly, the potion which coated the area started to subside, only a minor leak coming out of the helicopter now. Rose passed by him, her eyes catching something just above the surface of the cloud. “Twinkle...!” she choked out, her hooves pushing her on as she took no thoughts in her steps, the pegasus galloping toward the prone form on the ground. Rusty stopped cold, his eyes catching sight of the pale pink form popping just out of the subsiding mist. His mind raced with a million possibilities as Rose began to weakly shake the unicorn, calling out her name. Taking a leaden step forward, the Earth pony approached the body slowly, the lump in his throat returning in full force as tears started to fall from his cheeks. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know. He needed to know. Walking around the mare, the red pony reached a hoof out, placing it gently under her neck. As he saw, there was no wound on her side, but her head had been submerged under the potion - harmless to ponies, but likely no good for the lungs. Steeling himself, he lifted the unicorn’s face above the mist. Rose gasped as she took in a sharp intake of breath as her foot hit something nearby. It was a horn. Lifting Twinkle’s head above the cloud, Rusty could see now that the mare’s horn was completely cracked off, the bullet having completely shattered the magical appendage, the girl’s mint-green hair falling gently over the abscess. While Rusty looked over the mare, a high pitched whine issued from the Twinkle’s lungs. Rusty belted out a laugh despite himself, positioning himself on the roof so Twinkle’s head could rest on something above the magical mist. Rose smiled weakly, blinking away the pain she felt for Violet as she let herself rejoice in the fact Twinkle was alive. It took a few minutes, but the unicorn in question finally started to come around, her eyes blinking hard a few times before focusing on the pegasus in front of her. What was odd about it was that Rose was continually picking her hoof up and bringing it down, almost as if she was playing around in water. At once, she hopped up, her hooves touching the top of the mist and holding there, but she soon sank through the mist, a look of contemplation on her face. “Rose...? What are you doing?” Rusty fidgeted at the sound of her voice, but not daring to move as he served as the mare’s pillow. “You’re awake! Thank Celestia...!” he breathed, stroking a hoof through her hair unconsciously. Looking up at Rusty, Twinkle smiled softly at him before craning her head around. “I don’t know what happened... I was talking to Violet and suddenly I heard a loud-.” After a quick intake of breath, the mare picked herself off of the red stallion and spun about. “Violet! Where’s Violet!? Whe-wha...” A nauseated feeling took the unicorn by surprise, and the unicorn fell against Rusty again, bringing a hoof up to her head. “I feel so light-headed, what happened-” A long pause. “My horn...?” Rose gave a weak smile. “I think I felt some of it over there...?” She gestured, the smoke starting to clear around them. There were parts of the roof that were actually visible under the smoke, and pieces of a pale pink horn could be seen nearby. The unicorn groaned loudly, but she didn’t dwell on it long. “That... doesn’t matter. Horns grow back. Violet. Where’s Violet?” she sounded resolutely. Rusty coughed uneasily as Rose averted her gaze. An awkward silence permeated the area as Twinkle slowly got the point. “Oh- Oh sweet Celestia no...” Putting a hoof up to her mouth, the mare suppressed her tears as she kept looking from both of the ponies with her. “But she was fine when I... I was the one who was shot-!” Rusty cut her off silently, shaking his head in sadness. He quickly explained what Twinkle needed to know, telling of how the girl had sacrificed herself to save himself and Rose. Allowing Twinkle the time she needed to digest the information, Rose started to wander about the rooftop, her mind trying to cover what all had happened. Stepping near the ledge, the pegasus’ wings unfurled as she waved some of the smoke around her away, feeling the wind catch underneath it. Looking back at the other ponies, she started to wonder what they’d do now - none of them could drive, and they were fairly far from anywhere. Sighing deeply, she guessed they’d have to walk. And then, at the faintest edges of her hearing, she could hear it. The whirling of blades, the whine of an engine, that throbbing sound of a heartbeat as Rose looked out into the cityscape, watching a helicopter bound on their position from the northeast. Taking a cautionary step back, the pegasus returned to her friends, shaking her head grimly. “Guys... we have company.” The two ponies paused, exchanging glances as they looked out over the city. Pointing with her hoof, the two tracked her direction until they saw the helicopter, and soon noticed two others tailing it as it approached the flaming beacon of smoke from their own burning chopper. “What do we do?” Rusty sighed, shaking his head as the purple mist around them started to clear. “What can we do, Rose? We can’t drive... I can’t run, you can’t fly and you’re still getting used to your hooves. Twinkle’s been shot...” The unicorn noticed his complete deterrence from mentioning the human of their group. However, she sighed gratefully as she watched the last of the purple gas start to taper off around them. “We don’t need to run. Vi-... Violet called the IHSA branch proper before we came here. She asked me about it when we captured the radio, and started bugging them about all of this. Lieutenant Standish apparently faked his and his squad’s deaths, as news of his being alive spooked them. That right there... is the IHSA. The real IHSA. They’ve been trying to track this terrorist group for weeks, apparently. Evacuating cities and towns they felt were threatened.” Rose turned to the edge, catching sight of various forms sticking out over the surface of the smoke. “A little late. Violet killed them all. Every last one of them. Ha. Bet they never saw her coming.” Twinkle winced at the pegasus’ voice against their enemies life, but found herself regretfully agreeing with every word. “I guess so. The gas here was thick - too thick, I think. That much magic to a person’s system so quickly would have shocked a body to death. Those poor men - acting under orders of a mad man.” “Mad?” Rusty echoed, but he found it more or less suited the Lieutenant. Twinkle sighed and nodded, prompting the red stallion to shift himself slowly. “So I guess that might explain a lot. Any chance those men are just... ponies?” Twinkle shook her head. “The clouds too thick. It’s closer to the equivalent of ten vials of potion for as long as they were covered in it. They likely died of magic shock.” Picking herself up to her hooves, the unicorn could hear the beat of the helicopters as they got ever closer, their loud engines drowning out her compatriots voices as the wind brought down from the blades pushed and dispersed the serum and into the air in manageable quantities. ----- She approached the room. Not regally or respectfully. She ran, galloped into the Great Hall of this palace. Two forms sang their song, hauntingly beautiful as it beckoned her forward. Not needing a second invitation, she approached the regal forms, looking between them as she smiled. “So this is what it’s like then? Can’t say I’m not impressed. Everything here is so... perfect. Your song was beautiful.” The tall figure ceased its tune alongside the shorter one, the great form shooting its wings out over the hall. “Thank you.” It called, its smile bursting with the sun’s brilliance. The shorter, darker form approached her, a small smile playing over her visage, less motherly but all the same graceful and loving. “We sing it for all those who pass.” The girl laughed, shaking her head. “Well, if they don’t thank you, I will. Is all of this because of you? This world? I’ve never seen it all so... clear. So crisp.” The tall figure nodded. “Yes, this spiritual place is much our doing, but is merely a reflection of our work.” The shorter, darker form laughed, her voice like that of a nightingale. “But it is nice to hear. Most pass by and accept their fate without a word. It’s really quite boring sometimes.” The girl tilted her head, but she soon felt a wave of vertigo as she did, feeling her entire being shift with her. “So, I suppose I’m at the end of my rope, then? Glad I get to be me about it, I’d really hate to go about this all somber and stuff. Although, I’m surprised I’m so alone here - I really thought I took that rat bastard with me.” The taller form frowned, her eyes growing sad. “No, I don’t believe any of those souls will be passing through our domain.” ----- The helicopter touched down on the roof a fair distance from the wreckage of the other, the other two choppers circling the area, looking for suitable places to land as they’re blades pushed away the mist that still lingered around the building. Cutting the engines, the door to the chopper opened, and two ponies leapt out, followed by a young man in a blue coat. The man in question was wearing sunglasses, but quickly took them off as the last rays of the sun cast its fingers over the mountains nearby. Catching sight of the three ponies on the roof with him, the man surveyed the area, catching sight of pony bodies on the ground nearby, bloated sickeningly by magic. Averting his gaze, he soon jogged over to the ponies present, giving them a lookover. “Ah. My name is John. John Smith. I take it you all are...” Pointing a finger at the red Earth pony, he went down the line. “Rusty, Twinkle, aaannnd Rose, correct?” Twinkle, being the one more used to talking, stepped forward, nodding her head. “Yes sir, that’s correct. Our fourth... well, we don’t have a fourth anymore, sir,” she said, a strain on her voice. The man visibly frowned, a sad look taking over his face as he took off his hat, placing it over his chest. “My... sincerest apologies. We tried to get here as fast as we could - we wanted to prevent this.” Sighing deeply, the pegasus moved to her hooves as she started to walk toward the hole in the wall, John lifting his head and reaching out to her. “Miss Rose? Where are you going?” Rose looked back, her eyes blinking repeatedly as she shook her head solemnly. “I’m going to find Violet. She at least deserves... to be buried. Or something. I just... want to see her,” she said, and before John could react, Rusty and Twinkle were on their feet as well. “You can debrief us later, Mr. Smith,” Rusty called back, the man merely nodding and tugging on his sleeve. “We won’t be going anywhere.” John nodded in completely understanding. “Take all the time you need. My men and ponies won’t bother you.” Reaching for his side, the man drew out his walkie-talkie as he gave the order to his personnel to search for any living being, pony or otherwise, and to start rounding up the bodies if they could, but only after the three ponies found their friend. Reaching the stairs, Rose, Twinkle and Rusty passed by the truck on their way through the building. Violet had driven through the glass double doors, her one escape plan should things have gone south when they got here. And yet, not a one of them could even look at the driver’s seat, the memory of their purple-haired friend too fresh in their minds. Rose picked up to a trot, much to the surprise of Twinkle, who followed suit, Rusty finding himself forced into some three-legged hop as he attempted to keep up with the girls. Outside, Rose looked over to see the tower, and quickly galloped over to its base. Circling around the wall, the puce pony stopped her gallop as she saw it. The prone form of the purple-haired girl, laying on her side. Her amber skin shimmering in the last vestiges of the sun. Nearby, the cracked and broken body of Lieutenant Standish lay split on the walkway. He was a grotesque display, his chest bulged out and his arms cracked and splintered. One side of his body was hooved, as his right side held stunted fingers. His face, fortunately, was nothing but meat, having fallen on it. Twinkle turned the corner, seeing the display in front of her, but at least managing to keep what little she had left in her stomach inside. Approaching the still body of the girl she had come to know, she looked over her as she fought back tears. Limping toward the girls, Rusty came upon her as well, a small, pained smile on his face. “Well, her hair stayed purple.” The pony before them was amber in color, her skin shimmering with the color of the sunset. Her mane and tail were the same color of violet purple it had always been since they met her, a strangled chuckle coming from Rose as she stroked part of it away from her friend’s face, tears flowing freely down her face. Adorned on her side were a pair of wings, sharp yet graceful, furled closed on her sides. Kneeling down next to her face, Rose smiled weakly. “Hello Violet. We’re here for you, the day you became a pony. And guess what? You’re a pegasus! You know what that means, right? We get to fly together, Violet. You ‘n me. Even that Albert fella you like. Isn’t that grand?” Her face contorted, a strangled laugh issuing from her throat. “Oh God, Violet..!” Her sobs reverberated against the walls as she moved closer to the prone pony, Rusty and Twinkle crying silently at her side. ----- “So does that mean I screwed up then? They’re all still alive?” The girl looked back for the first time, feeling the need to go back. “How did that guy even survive the fall when I didn’t-” “He didn’t. None of them survived.” The darker form called out. “They all perished with their unnatural concoctions. It’s a pity, but the magic they had lived with in your world had settled in their veins - the potion was like poison to almost all of them.” The taller, brighter form started to take on a more definite shape, its long, slender legs stretching out toward the girl. “Those who could have survived drowned in the fog of magic. We haven’t had many come through our domain recently.” Feeling a rush of guilt, the girl wiped her eyes. “So I could have saved some of them. I should have waited, or ran, or something. I don’t... I’m sorry.” Falling down, the girl shook her head. “I’m sorry, but... but...” Looking up, her face was awash in confusion. “If they’re dead, why aren’t they here? What did I do to deny them this afterlife?” “Afterlife?” The darker form echoed, a trace of mirth carrying in her voice. Stepping forward, a midnight blue hoof reached out to the girl. “Violet, don’t you see? This isn’t the afterlife.” “It’s... not? But t-then H-how do you know my name?” She asked, her eyes focusing on the figures, trying to make out their details. There was a low chuckle, the face of a Princess beaming down on her subject. “No, it’s no afterlife, Violet. This is where souls undergo what is needed. A soul must be tempered to live in magic, and while many used come through here so quickly, it’s nice to stop and chat once in awhile. We just had a kind gentlecolt come through not more than two hours ago. He told us you’d be coming.” Violet was dumbfounded, her arm reaching out and grabbing Luna’s who helped her to her feet. “So you’re saying this isn’t some perfect afterlife with all my friends and family? That I’m still.. I’m alive?” “Afraid so.” The midnight Princess shrugged, gesturing toward a third light that had appeared in the room. “Sorry to disappoint.” As she spoke, her features became defined as her equine face smiled down at Violet. Looking between the two alicorns, Violet slapped a hoof to her head. “You two! You’re the-” “Yes.” Celestia said, nodding. There was a moment of silence, before Violet put her leg down. Looking between them, the girl chuckled and shook her head. “Are you two always this... I mean... you’re not gonna hunt me down for being all candid and stuff, are you?” Luna laughed heartily, taking great joy in the girl’s lack of tact when it came to the royal sisters. “Oh my Celly, there’s very little going to be different with her when she wakes up, is there?” Celestia shook her head as the third light came nearer to the pegasus among them, Violet taking note of her form for the first time. “Holy shit! I’m a pegasus! That means- I can- I get to fly with Al and-” The light came forward, growing and enveloping the pony. Violet looking on as the smiling faces of the Princesses carried with them a soft song, welcoming her into the world. ----- “-Rose...” Violet coughed, earning herself the pleasure of hearing three ponies simultaneously gasp, and was greeted with the sight of a fainting pale pink pony, collapsing into the hoofs of a red stallion. Blinking hard, the amber pegasus slowly moved her head as she caught sight of the puce pony beside her. “Rose..! I... I get to fly with you.” Suddenly enveloped in hooves, the new pegasus found herself hugged hard by the turquiose-maned mare as she tackled the already grounded pony. “Violet! I swear to Celestia I’m gonna kill you! Don’t you ever, ever, ever-ever-ever-ever do that again!” Her sobs were mixed with laughter as the very confused pegasus started to line up everything that happened. “What’s with all the-” she muttered, but soon found herself noticing the hubbub around her. “Guys? Rusty? What’s going on...?” She saw the mutilated form of Standish, which made her stomach turn a cartwheel, but she was more interested in the multitude of ponies and humans who were walking around them. “Is that the IHSA?” Rose let go of her friend a moment as she wiped her tears away with a hoof. “I-H-S-A, Violet. Are you ever going to get that right?” she teased, a strangled laugh issuing from the tired pegasus. Violet looked down her hooves, feeling a weird sensation at the bottoms of her feet. “Better late than never, eh?” Violet looked up, nodding assuredly. “Yeah, I guess so. I’m so glad you’re alright, Rose. I heard the gunshot when I tackled Standish - I thought I might have been too late.” Rose shook her mane incredulously as she closed her eyes. “That is so you, Violet. You throw yourself off a damn roof and then you look to see if everypony is alright. We are, thank you, although Twinkle lost her horn,” she muttered, gesturing toward the unicorn. The memory of the gunshot filled Violet’s senses, but seeing the fainted pony, she could tell she was alright.. for the most part. Rusty smiled as he struggled slightly under Twinkle, having somehow trapped himself under her body. Still, he wasn’t complaining about it. “Hey there, V. Good to see you. I’m just, y’know... bein’ a pillow,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I honestly don’t understand, Violet. You threw yourself from the tower, and... well, the fall should have killed you. And yet you’re standing around - doesn’t it hurt?” Blinking, the pony turned from Rose to Rusty, giving a mild shrug. “It feels a little like I’m on fire, but nothing broken to report. God I am sore, though,” she said animatedly, earning a laugh from those conscious. As they spoke, the man in the blue coat approached them. “Four ponies? You’re not part of my unit. Who’re you?” Violet turned around, a small smirk on her face. “Violet. I’m a pony, for all that’s worth.” * * * THE CONVERSION BUREAU: SECOND IMPACT An MLP: FiM Fanfic by Purple Prose An Extension of First Contact Based On The Conversion Bureau by Blaze, Midnight’s Tail by Midnight Shadow Chapter 1: Here Lies the First It wasn’t a surprise that the Conversion Bureaus were unpopular with some sectors of the world’s population. For some, the idea of transforming ones-self into a different creature was in and of itself appalling, the ultimate denial or destruction of one‘s humanity. For others, especially in certain sects of fundamentalist Protestant churches, the very idea of the conversion was akin to blasphemy, the acceptance of the Mark of the Beast from Revelations. Others had political objections to the process; Equestria, in their minds, was literally stealing away citizens of their countries, disrupting partisan lines and established cultural identities. Still others just didn’t like ponies for one irrational reason or another. It would take forever to list the individual objections to the work the Conversion Bureaus did. Their objections were noted, both by the press and the governments of the countries that the Bureaus resided. Issues of possible terrorism were brought up, but few expected any real attacks. Technology had reached the point where security could be innocuous and ever-constant: security cameras could be anywhere, data-feeds could be monitored via AI and scanned for possible threats, and police could be dispatched quickly to the scenes of any crime thanks to advances in transportation networks. For many people that lived in the cities of the world, the idea of terrorism in the age of the Singularity was a mild worry at best. Of course, all the technology in the world can’t stop something bad from happening. --- Mary shifted nervously as she climbed off the bus, a hand adjusting her breath filtration mask as she got off onto the sidewalk. Dallas was under a High Pollution alert today, the air slightly hazy from the smog hanging overhead. Smart people went out with a breath mask on days like this. Smart people and those that could afford them, at least. Hers was a loner. She inhaled slowly as she walked down the sidewalk, stepping around hurried pedestrians as she made her way towards her destination; a multi-story, glass-roofed and gray-sided building with the Conversion Bureau logo facing the street. A large crowd had gathered in front of the sliding glass doors, some carrying signs or shouting slogans. Mary had seen them before; the religious population of the southern United States was known for their protests. Of course, the Conversion Bureaus were the newest targets, supplanting family planning clinics in popularity. The congregates were lined up like a gauntlet along the sidewalk, shouting both at passersby and at anyone approaching the clinic doors. The signs were the most telling part, with slogans like “GOD MADE MAN, NOT HORSES,” “PONIES = ANTICHRIST,” “CELESTIA WON’T SAVE YOU FROM HELL,” and other such comments. Mary inhaled and began to push her way through the gauntlet, pushing her breath mask a little higher on her face as they shouted at her. This was already hard enough on her to begin with. She knew why they were doing it, of course. She understood it quite well. She cringed slightly as one of the protestors, a large man in a heavy plaid shirt leaned in, denouncing her for abandoning humanity. She ducked her head, her hands going over her ears as she rushed the last few feet and in through the glass doors of the Bureau. The shouting outside became muted when the doors closed. The bureau itself was a much more cheerful looking place; the floors had grass-green carpeting, the walls were robin’s-egg blue and a dome-shaped light fixture hung above like a small sun made of cloudy glass. The pony at the desk, a pale pinkish-red pony with a blonde mane, smiled cheerfully at her as she stepped from her position and trotted up to her. “Hello miss. Welcome to the Conversion Bureau. My name is Lily! How are you today?” The cheerful equine extended a hoof in greeting. “Um, alright.” Mary looked down at the pony as she talked. This was the first time she’d actually seen a pony face to face. She glanced down at the hoof, then reached down and shook it, glancing over her shoulder at the glass barrier behind her. “Are you here for a pre-conversion check-up?” Lily continued unabated, lowering her hoof before following Mary’s gaze. “It’s alright. We’ve got security cameras and everything, so they won’t do anything. I hope. Did they give you any trouble?” “Not really, I just didn’t expect there to be so many people…” Her voice trailed off as Lily trotted back to her desk. “They’ve been showing up pretty regularly. We’ve talked to the police about it, but unless they get violent we can’t really do anything.” Lily grumbled, pulling a data pad out of a slot in the desk. “I’m sorry if they scared you.” “What? No, I’m alright, really. Just fine.” Mary watched as Lily nosed the data pad, then picked the stylus up in her mouth and poked at it. He pony was a lot different than she had expected: friendly, polite, not at all like some of the people she had met on the street. Mary slowly removed her breath mask, sliding it into her purse as she waited. “Alright, here we go. Go ahead and take this pad with you. I’ll show you to the exam room if you don’t mind.” Lily lifted the pad up and let it rest on the edge of the desk, the stylus tucked into the little pocket on its side. “Just follow me.” Mary picked up the pad and followed the pony quietly, eying the data pad’s screen. It seemed like a regular doctor’s form. She glanced up every so often as Lily lead her along, then stopped as the reddish-pink pony butted a door open with her head, then held it open for her. “Right in here, please.” The room was just as bright and colorful as the entrance was: pastel pink walls and light yellow carpet, with a large white table, a chair, and what looked like a low couch. Mary looked around, having a seat at the table. “I’ll tell Fugue you’re ready. Just go ahead and fill out the stuff on the pad, if you would?” “Okay.” Mary nodded as Lily let the door close, pulling out the stylus and looking at the pad again, reading down the requested information, then the questions it was asking. Why did you decide to undergo Conversion? Do you have any family that aren’t undergoing Conversion? What sort of job skills/employment have you had? What do you like to do in your spare time? Do you have any diagnosed physical ailments currently? Please list if so. Do you have any diagnosed emotional/psychological problems? Please list if so. And so forth. Mary nibbled nervously on the tip of the stylus as she filled in the information. It wasn’t hard: she had filled in applications like this before. It was at the last page she paused. The last page was a release form, certifying that she was undergoing Conversion of her own free will, as well as notifying her that she understood that the process was irreversible. She paused, tapping the stylus against her cheek, fidgeting nervously. --- Fugue State hummed softly, smoothing his mane as he checked himself in the mirror. He had to admit, this hadn’t been his first choice for an assignment; his education at the Royal University of Canterlot has been in psychology for ponies, not for humans. However, an assignment to the Conversion Bureau would give him excellent experience, possibly enough to write a paper for publication when he returned to Equestria. Not bad for the son of a workhorse. He nickered softly and puffed a bit of his dark orange mane out of his eyes. He looked presentable enough with his little bow tie and his well-groomed sandy coat, the empty white thought-bubble of his cutie mark standing out against the field of yellow. He turned slightly as Lily pushed his door open. “Fugue? We’ve got a candidate in meeting room one.” “A candidate?” It was about time. “Excellent. Capital. I’ll be right there.” Lily nodded and excused herself as Fugue straightened his back, trying to put on his professional face. Remember; be courteous, but not overly so. Understanding. Sympathetic but not overly attached. This is your first human client. Make it count. His hooves were quiet on the carpet as he trotted down the hall, stopping just before exam room one. He reached up and tapped his broad hoof on the door, before carefully pushing it open. “Hello ma’am. My name is Fugue State, and I’ll be doing your interview today.” He smiled as he trotted in, looking the woman over as he went. She wasn’t particularly tall, and looked rather skinny. Her blonde hair was stringy and pulled back tightly, and her eyes were hidden behind a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. She was dressed lightly, her faded green dress looking a little to large for her frame. The oversized purse sitting on the table beside her was open, the clasp slightly bent. Fugue carefully rounded the table and climbed onto the couch, tucking his legs underneath him. “How are you today?” “Fine.” She replied, not making eye contact. Fugue nodded. “If I could see the pad, please?” The woman nodded, sliding the skinny data pad over to him, the stylus rolling slightly. Fugue glanced over it quickly, scanning over the written-in information. Thankfully, Modern Equestrian and English were close enough to be interchangeable. He glanced at her name and other biographical information. Mary Wallace, age 30. “Alright Mrs. Wallace, or would you prefer to be called Mary?” “Either is fine.” “Very well then, Mary. I hope you don’t mind if this is recorded. Do you mind?” “I…guess not.” Mary paused, looking around nervously. Fugue hmmed softly at her reaction, then slid a hoof over the data pad, scrolling the screen down. “There’s no need to be nervous, Mary. This is simply an interview to make sure you’re certain about your decision, as well as help us learn how to help you after the Conversion. Now, I’m going to ask you some questions based on what you have written down here. Is that alright?” There was a faint nod of assent. “Alright. It says here that you have a husband and two daughters that are not undergoing Conversion. May I ask why that’s so?” “Um…” Mary nibbled on her thumb nail. “They’re…waiting for me to go first?” Fugue nodded, making a note on the pad. “Ah sh-” He lowered the stylus from his mouth. “I see. Now, it says here that you’ve done a lot of charity work. What sort of charity work, exactly?” “Um, stuff like soup kitchens and such. Things like that. I did a lot of work for my church.” She nibbled on her thumbnail again. “It seemed like the right thing to do, especially since they helped out a lot after my husband lost his job.” “I see. So you enjoy working with others?” Another nod. “What sorts of things did you do? Cooking? Cleaning up?” “All of that.” Mary shifted again, still nervously nibbling on her thumb. “Why’s that important?” “Well, information like that will help us find something for you to do once you become a pony. Everypony has their special talent, something that they’re good at doing. If we can find what you’re good at, that helps us find gainful employment either here or in Equestria.” “So, kinda like a job placement?” “If you want to call it that. Does that trouble you?” “I…don’t think so.” There was a click as a bit of her thumbnail came free. “I’ve just…never thought of it.” Fugue frowned slightly, then nodded cautiously. “If you say so. Now, how about we continue. I noticed you didn’t put anything down under hobbies. Why’s that?” “I’ve just…never had much free time I guess. I’ve always been busy.” “With charity work?” “And the kids. They’re still young, so they’re a handful…” “I see. Does your husband help any?” “My husband is a good man.” Fugue frowned again. “I see.” Mary swallowed. “He is. I mean, he’s been busy trying to find work. That doesn’t make him a bad person.” She sounded defensive. “Alright then.” Fugue made another note and moved onto the next page, then frowned. “Mary, you haven’t signed the last bit of the form.” “The last bit?” “Yes. Here.’ He pushed the pad across to her. “The part that signifies that you’re undergoing Conversion of your own free will, and that you understand the circumstances listed above.” “Do…do I really have to sign that?” She was still nibbling on her thumbnail. “I mean, contracts like this…” “I understand if you feel nervous about committing to something like this. That’s only natural, after all. The form doesn’t mean you absolutely have to go through with it immediately.” Fugue did his best to smile reassuringly. “It doesn’t even mean you have to do it at all. The form just signifies you’re aware of what Conversion entails and an indication of that you‘re not being coerced. If sometime later, you decide that Conversion isn’t right for you, you can always not come back.” “Okay…a-and what does it entail.” Fugue sighed and gave the standard explanation he had rehearsed over and over again. The Conversion was a one-way process, human-to-pony. She would remain herself, just be given a new body, one which would allow her to enter Equestria. After conversion, there would be a period of rehabilitation to get her used to her body and how it worked, and then she would be transported to Equestria. If she chose to return to Earth afterwards, that would be perfectly fine. Mary listened pensively, still watching the pony as he finished his explanation. “Now, do you have any questions?” “Do…I have to convert?” “Convert?” Fugue paused. “I mean, do I have to worship your god?” “Well Mary, it’s not any of my business what someone or somepony believes in. You don’t have to convert if you don’t want to.” “I…see.” Mary’s frown deepened. “What do you believe in, Mr. Fugue?” “I believe in the Princesses.” “You do?” “Yes. Like I said, however, that’s only me.” Fugue tapped his hoof beside the pad, hoping to steer the conversation away from the topic. That was one of the rules; don’t engage in religious debate with potential Conversion candidates. “If you’d please sign?” “So, I don’t have to do this now, right?” “That’s right. In fact, I’d advise you to go and discuss it with your family. Like I said, just because you signed the release doesn’t mean you have to do the treatment immediately.” Mary nodded slowly, then picked up the stylus and signed her name on the line, followed by the date. “Alright,” Fugue smiled cheerfully as she slid the tablet back over to him. “Now, if you like, we have some pamphlets you can take home with you…” --- Mary sighed as she pushed the door to the housing block open, her purse full of cheerful, colorful pamphlets that the nice pony had given her. Compared to the Bureau, the housing development was drab and dull; the walls were a neutral whitish-gray, the cheap tile smelling faintly of cleaner. Not that she’d complain. After her husband had been laid off, the Happy Trails Apartment complex was the cheapest they could afford. Well, not so much afford as ‘live in under charity.’ She thanked God every day for the small fact that she had a roof over her head and the heads of her children. She swiped her card key, opening the door. The girls were still at school, thankfully, and the only other person there was Mitch. “I’m home…” She called out, setting her purse down on the kitchen countertop, scuffing her feet on the gray carpet as she removed her shoes. Mitch glanced over at her from his seat on the couch. He was about her age, though still had a mild hint of a baby-face to him. His carrot-red hair was due for a trimming, and his chin was spackled with a close-cropped red beard He was in his skivvies, as per usual, his pale skin bathed in the lambent glare of the holo screen. “Did they accept you?” Mary slid onto the couch beside him, shuffling slightly to get comfortable, but not to close. “They did. They told me to come back and talk with you, think it over.” Mitch grunted, eyes still on the holographic screen. “I’m just…nervous.” Mitch grunted in reply again and tapped on the controller, sitting up. “We’ve already talked about this. You know what Pastor Morrows has planned. You volunteered for this. If you do this, it’ll mean money for us. For the girls.” “I know, but it just seems…wrong.” She pulled back slightly as Mitch grasped her hands firmly in his, looking at her seriously. “You know we have to do this. Pastor Morrows told us that they were a threat. That we need to expose them for what they really are. Right now, Mary, you’re the only person who can do that. You understand that, right? You’re doing God’s work, girl.” Mary winced and nodded, rubbing her knuckles as Mitch let go of her hands. “I know…” “Good. We’re not going to talk about this again.” “Right, Mitch.” “Could you fix me a sandwich or something?” He asked as he turned the holo-screen back on, slumping back into the couch. “Sure honey.” She stood up, heading into the kitchen. At least the automat was still working. It was one of the small blessings of living in the apartment: basic food necessities were supplied for. At least, they were for her family. A small gift from Pastor Morrows. --- Twilight Sparkle had butterflies in her stomach. It wasn’t from the plane-ride: she was used to flying around by now. It was more about being the only pony in the crowd. She didn’t feel very comfortable being on her own like this, but she had been assured, repeatedly, that she would be fine. “Are you comfortable, Miss Sparkle?” .Twilight glanced through the slot between the seats at her driver. Leonard was her ‘assistant’ from the Arion Trust, though that wasn’t his only function. The Conversion Bureaus had started official operations, so someone had to inspect them. The portly human’s job was to look over records and data, as he had fingers and the necessary implants needed to interact with the computer systems. Twilight, meanwhile was in charge of checking up on the ponies in the Bureaus, as a sort of friendly, familiar face. Spike, meanwhile, was mostly there to help Twilight. Though at that moment he was concentrating more on the small, rectangular plastic game system in his hands. “I’m perfectly fine, Mr. Leonard. Just a little tired, that’s all. Air travel here seems to take a lot out of me.” Leonard chuckled. “It’s always that way. Jet lag, they call it.” “Whatever you call it, it’s not all that pleasant.” “It could be worse Twilight.” Spike peered around the edge of his seat. “We could have gone on one of the public planes. I hear those are really packed.” “Yes, but most of the public planes don’t have support for ponies yet Spike. And after a few hours on board of a plane, I’d start getting antsy.” Twilight shook her mane, still curled up in the back-seat of the SUV. “Well, we should be arriving at the Bureau soon enough, Miss Sparkle. It should be up ahead on the left.” Twilight peered out of her window and blinked at the large crowd as they rolled up the street. This wasn’t like at the Bureau in New York City. “Oh my…” “What? What’s going on?” Spike punched the pause button on his hand-held and stood up in his seat. “Woah. What’s with all the people with signs?” “They’re protestors Spike. Didn’t you listen when I was reading the report on the plane?” “Um…no.” Spike at least looked sheepish as Twilight sighed. “There’s been a lot of unrest about the Bureaus in this area of the country Spike. Some people are upset or afraid enough to make their opinions known, like these protestors.” “Yeah, but they’re blocking the way in!” “Actually, they’re not allowed to block the entrance.” Leonard interjected. “But they can line up in front of it and make it a hassle to get inside. On that note, we should probably go around to the back entrance, Miss Sparkle.” Twilight frowned, then nodded. “Right. They already don’t like ponies. We really shouldn’t antagonize them right now.” The SUV hummed softly as its fuel-cell engine drove it along, passing the chanting crowd and sliding around the curve. Meanwhile, a woman with stringy blonde hair and an old dress carefully crossed the street, looking at the crowd as she approached the entrance of the Bureau. * * * THE CONVERSION BUREAU: SECOND IMPACT An MLP: FiM Fanfic by Purple Prose An Extension of First Contact Based On The Conversion Bureau by Blaze, Midnight’s Tail by Midnight Shadow Chapter 2: Hopelessly Faithful “Miss Sparkle! Welcome to the Dallas Conversion Bureau!” Twilight shook hooves with Fugue as the trio entered the offices of the Bureau. Coming in through the back entrance had kept them from facing the mob outside, but it still left a bad taste in her mouth. “It’s nice to be here. This is my assistant Spike, and Jay Leonard from the Arion Trust.” “How do you do?” Leonard shook Fugue’s hand as Spike gave a friendly wave. “I hope we’re not causing to much trouble with our visit, Mr. Fugue.” Twilight continued as Fugue pushed a door open, leading the three into his office. “The Arion Trust just wants an update on how the Bureaus are doing.” “It’s no real problem at all, Miss Sparkle. I was just curious as to why the Trust sent you here. Much of the maintenance and analysis can be done via the net.” “That’s true,” Leonard interrupted, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow with a handkerchief. “However, there’s several things that can be missed if you stick to purely virtual interaction. Which is why I’m here.” “Ah, right.” Fugue nodded as he sat at his desk, legs curled underneath him. “So, what exactly do you need to know?” “Well, I’m here to talk with your staff, get a general feel for morale. Mr. Leonard will do an analysis of your network and paperwork. General things, really.” “Well, you’re more than welcome to it, though you’ll find that there really hasn’t been much paperwork.” Fugue sighed grumpily. “We haven’t exactly had many candidates.” “Does it have anything to do with the group outside?” Spike climbed up onto one of the chairs, having a seat with Leonard. “Yes. Ever since the Bureau opened up we’ve had a total of five conversions, four of which were before I arrived here.” “Five?” Twilight blinked. The Bureau in New York had managed at least thirty conversions, if not more. “Five. After the first wave the protestors showed up, and since then people have been scared off. It’s been nearly two months without a single candidate. I’ve tried to talk to the police about them, but so long as they’re not breaking any laws or getting violent we can’t do anything. It’s really quite annoying.” “Have they harassed any of the staff?” Twilight frowned. “Not yet. We’re mostly self-sufficient, so we don’t really go out much. And if they did come inside and started something, we could call the police on them. Otherwise…” Fugue gave a very human-like shrug, hooves lifted upwards. “I see. Still, I hope you don’t mind me talking to the other staff?” “Go ahead.” Fugue glanced up as a knock sounded at the door. Lily pushed his door open, peeking her head in through the crack. “Sorry to interrupt, but Mrs. Wallace is here for the conversion. I didn’t know if you wanted to supervise…” “Oh! Yes. Mrs. Wallace. Have her start getting ready, I’ll be there in a few moments.” Lily nodded and ducked her head out as Fugue re-centered on Twilight and her group. “Sorry, duty calls.” “That’s alright.” Leonard nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind giving me access to the building’s network and your files?” “Oh, sure. Ask Lily for access at the front desk. Will you three be staying here at the Bureau?” “I don’t think so. We wouldn’t want to impose.” Twilight smiled. “We have a hotel room a couple blocks from here. We’ll do our best not to be a distraction.” “Miss Sparkle, you and your friends are a welcome distraction.” Fugue stood from his seat, flicking his mane with a shake of his head. “Now, if you’ll excuse me?” --- Mary felt a little chilly as she stood in the dressing room, staring at herself in the mirror in her underwear. The pony that had called herself Lily had politely left her alone while she undressed, not that it really mattered. Part of her wanted to run out of the Bureau right then and there; just pull her clothes on, grab her purse and run. But then what? If she went back to the apartment, Mitch would be mad. If she ran off somewhere else, she’d be leaving the girls. And then there was Pastor Morrows. She had promised him that she’d go through with it. Hell, she had volunteered for it. Or at least, she thought she did. Could she really go through with it? Even though Pastor Morrow had assured her that her soul would be safe, his sermons on the abomination that was the Conversion still rang in her head like funeral bells. Those who underwent the Conversion were submitting to The Beast. Those who underwent the Conversion were abandoning the gift that God had given them, defying the nature of His design. Her thumbnail went to her lips as she nibbled on it the tip ragged from her habit. She didn’t want to do this. She really didn’t want to do this. But if she didn’t, she’d be letting Mitch and Pastor Morrow down. And that would be bad. Very bad. Mary jumped slightly at the knock on the door. “Mrs. Wallace? It’s Fugue. Are you alright?” The voice from the other side was somewhat familiar. “Y-yes! I’m fine.” She inhaled nervously, trying to calm her heart down. “Alright. I’ll be waiting out here until you’re ready.” Mary stood there, staring at the door, then began to pace, her bare feet, making little noise on the carpeted floor. There was a faint click as she bit off a bit of her thumbnail, the hard little splinter falling from her lips. She had to make a decision. “Mrs. Wallace?” She paused at the voice. “Yes?” “Do you need someone to talk to?” Mary swallowed, trying to get the butterflies to stop. “A-about what?” She tried to sound self-assured. It wasn’t working. “Mrs. Wallace…or should I call you Mary again?” “Either is fine.” “Alright then, Mary. Do you mind if I come in?” “If you want.” Mary turned as the door was pushed open, letting the pony inside. “You seem to be nervous, Mary. Would you like to talk about it?” “I’m…I’m not nervous.” She inhale, then met the pony’s eyes…before looking away. “Well, maybe I am.” “What are you nervous about?” Fugue stood there as Mary slowly slid her back against the wall. “Just…things.” She replied quietly. “What sorts of things?” “The Conversion.” “I see.” Fugue approached, making sure to remain a decent distance as she slid down to the floor, leaning against the wall. “What about the Conversion makes you nervous?” “I’m scared for my soul.” “Ah.” Fugue frowned. “I see.” “I…don’t expect you to understand, Mr. Fugue. It’s just that I’ve been hearing a lot of things about…what happens during the Conversion. That I won’t be human. That I won’t have a soul anymore.” Fugue frowned and slowly sat down in front of her, legs folded underneath him as he listened. “I’m just… I’m scared, okay?” “I understand.” “You do?” Mary glanced up at him. “I do. It’s a reasonable fear. The unknown is always frightening. Are you religious?” She nodded. “I can’t really claim to know much about the religions of Earth,” Fugue began, resting his chin on one hoof. “But I can tell you what I’ve observed, just based on previous Conversions. Is that alright?” Another nod. “From what I understand several of the previous conversions have worried about personality changes, or other similar issues. However, from what I’ve seen there’s no real difference between their pre-Conversion mindset and their post-Conversion mindset. They’re still ‘them.’ They just have different bodies. If you’ll pardon my asking, but what do you believe the soul to be, Mary?” “The soul?” “Yes. You said you were worried about your soul. What, in your knowledge, is a soul?” Mary frowned, looking nervously at the pony seated before her, trying to gauge whether he was serious or not. “A-a soul is the part of me that’s immortal. The part that makes a person a person. My spirit.” “I see. And you’re concerned that by undergoing Conversion you’ll lose your soul, correct.” Another nod. “Why?” “Because…” She inhaled. Was it because of what Pastor Morrow said? Because of what she was taught? “Because that’s what I’ve heard. That the Converted aren’t human anymore. And if you aren’t human, then you don’t have a soul, because God made us that way.” “I see.” Fugue nodded. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” “I’m hardly offended Mary.” Fugue smiled gently. “Though I can’t say I agree with you on that point. The way I see it, it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside. It’s the inside that counts.” Fugue stood up, stretching out his hind leg as he did so. “If you’re concerned about losing the part of you that’s ‘you,’ so to speak, then I can say you’ve got nothing to worry about. I can’t say anything about the metaphysical. However, if you’re really, deeply worried about this, then you’re more than welcome to leave. Nopony here will stop you. ” He turned, starting to walk away. “Thank you.” Mary mumbled in a quiet voice. “For?” Fugue turned his head back to look at her. “For talking with me like you did.” Fugue paused, then gave a nod. “You’re welcome.” He gave the door a gentle push with his head and walked on through, leaving Mary alone with her thoughts. It took a few minutes for her to finally get up and get dressed again, her hands trembling as she did so. The butterflies had been replaced with something a good deal fouler. She felt mildly sick: not with nerves, but with honest-to-goodness fear. Mary picked up her purse before pushing out the door, walking along numbly. She only vaguely noticed the man at the desk speaking to Lily as she walked by. She didn’t really register the voices of the protestors outside as she walked down the sidewalk, ducking past people as she went. Her hand dug into her purse as she walked, pulling out the small, nondescript mobile phone she carried with her. A nearby covered bus stop provided her with a small amount o privacy as she pressed the auto-dial button. The mobile wasn’t much: just a screen and some raised bumps labeled with numbers. It was only good for communication and little else, but then she didn’t really need it for much. She inhaled, her mouth going dry as the phone rang, before it was picked up, a faintly artificial feminine voice speaking to her. “Morrow Days Ministries, how may I direct your call?” “This is Mary Wallace. I need to speak with Pastor Morrow.” “One moment.” Mary looked around nervously as the chipper music played while she waited, until another voice came on the line. “Hello Mary.” Despite her fear, a tiny surge of heat filled Mary’s chest. Pastor Morrow had on of those voices. The sort that could tell you that everything was going to be alright and meant it. “H-hi Pastor Morrow.” “Dear me Mary, you sound terrible. Is everything alright?” “I…” She swallowed again, trying to get some moisture in her throat. It didn’t work. “I can’t do it.” “Can’t do what, Mary?” “T-the thing. The Conversion. I can’t, Pastor Morrows, I’m so sorry…” There was a pause on the other end of the line, then a heavy, soft sigh. “I see. Mary, you remember what you promised, don’t you?” “That I’d do what you asked me to, yes.” “You swore that you would. Swore in front of me and God that you’d do as you were asked. Did you not?” “I-I did.” “Are you really going to go back on that?” He sounded so… disappointed. Not angry, but sad. “Are you going to go against your promise to the Lord?” “N-no, but…” “After all He’s given you and your family, Mary?” “N-no....” “He gave you a roof over your head. He provided you with food. He got your children into one of the good schools, and all He asked for you to do is this. I’m very disappointed Mary.” Her vision blurred as she tried to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just so scared…” “Don’t be. The Lord is with you, didn’t I tell you that? That the Lord will protect you when you went into that den of evil. That He would protect your soul when you went through that awful change. That he would speak through you when the time came to tell the world the Truth about those ponies. Do you really doubt the power of God, Mary?” “I-I don’t, I just…” “And do you think that God will be glad to know that the one he chose for this task lost her faith? What would happen then? What about your family, Mary?” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” She sobbed softly into the phone. “There there. I understand.” He tsked softly. “You can still do it. Follow the plan, and everything will be fine. Do you understand, Mary?” She could only sob. “Do you understand?” “Y-yes sir.” “Good. Follow the plan Mary. Follow the plan.” “Yes sir.” “Good. Don’t ever doubt the plan He has for you again, Mary.” There was a note of finality in that statement. “I-I won’t.” The phone clicked off, leaving Mary alone with her thoughts, her eyes red from her crying. She sniffed loudly, digging out some tissues from her purse as she tried to calm herself down. --- Fugue sighed as he trotted to the front desk, watching Leonard tap on his personal data pad. “Is everything going alright?” “Hmm? Oh, yes, perfectly fine.” Leonard nodded to Lily. “I’ve got copies of your files and other data now. You know, you really should be backing the files up offsite.” “I know, but there hasn’t really been any need to.” Fugue grumbled as he leaned against the desk. “Besides, I have copies on my own data pad in my office.” “My point still stands. If something were to happen to the server here, then you’d lose all of your data. I do know of a few confidential Cloud-servers that can serve as good data hosts.” “Alright, um, send me the information when you can.” Fugue turned as the door slid open, his eyes widening. “Mrs. Wallace?” Leonard turned to look at the still red-eyed woman. “Um…if you’ll excuse me then?” “Oh, sure.” Fugue replied as Leonard stepped away, heading down the hall to the offices. Fugue approached Mary carefully, his tail swishing. “Mrs. Wallace?” “S-sorry about earlier.” She sniffled, giving the pony a wane smile. “Are you alright? Were you attacked or something? You look like you’ve been-” “I-I’m alright. I just…went and had a good cry, that’s all.” She sniffed as Lily came around the desk, a box of tissues balanced on her head. “I see.” Fugue watched her pull some tissues from the box, blowing her nose. “Are you sure you’re alright?” “I’m fine. Could I have some water or something.” “Lily?” “Sure. I’ll be right back.” The pinkish-red pony trotted off as Mary sniffled into the tissue. Fugue watched her carefully, more than a bit of concern in his eyes, his mouth pulled down in a slight frown. “Are you sure you’re alright? I mean, you seemed a little distraught after you left..” “I’m fine. Really. I…I think I’m ready.” That caught Fugue off guard. “Ready?” “For the Conversion.” “Mrs. Wallace, you were only gone ten minutes…” “I know.” She crumpled the tissue up as Lily trotted back, a cup of water in her teeth. She took the plastic cup and drank from it, swallowing the contents in a single gulp. “I just…you were right, I guess. I needed a little time to think, that’s all.” Fugue glanced over at Lily, who gave a faint shrug in reply. Something in the back of his mind tickled him, a feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was off. Something was up. “I…see.” “I’m ready to do the procedure now.” “Are you sure?” He stated cautiously. “I do mean this seriously. Are you absolutely certain?” She nodded, though a small sniffle did ruin the seriousness of her expression. “Alright. I can’t really refuse. But you’re absolutely certain this is what you want?” “It is. God has a plan for me, after all.” Well, at least she has some solace. Fugue thought to himself, before turning back to Lily. “Lily, have Sweet get the infusion ready for Room One, if you would please?” “Sure.” Fugue turned back to Mary, frowning slightly. “Mrs. Wallace…I just want to make sure…” “I’m fine, alright?! Let’s…just do this.” Mary snapped in a quavering voice, still holding the drinking cup. “If you say so.” Fugue sighed. He had hoped for a new patient, but Mary was…troubling him. He couldn’t quite put a hoof on why, though. “Right this way.” --- For Fugue, the conversion took all of thirty seconds; Mary Wallace went into the room prepped for her, laid down on the bed, and took the fizzy purple drink that was offered to her, and went to sleep. There was a faint flash of light as the process took hold, transforming the thirty-year-old woman into a slender-limbed, almost dainty-looking reddish-brown Earth Pony with an overly-long golden mane and tail. He couldn’t help but stare, however. It was such a strange process, watching things shift and flow and change. Almost like watching ice-cream melt. Or clay being played with. “First time you’ve seen it, Mr. Fugue?” “Huh?” He glanced over as Twilight approached, the purple unicorn looking at him curiously. “Oh. Yes.” “I have t admit, it’s pretty impressive. I’ve seen it several times now and it’s always a bit jarring. You’ll get used to it, though.” “I see. You worked at the one in New York City, right?” “Me and my friends do, yes. Princess Celestia asked me to staff it.” “Is that so?” “Well, New York is touted as being one of the more cosmopolitan cities on Earth. She thought I might enjoy it.” “Do you?” “It’s…educational. I’ll say that much.” Twilight giggled. “Spike likes it a lot more than I do. He has a thing for the technology here. Might be because he has thumbs like humans do.” “Ah.” Fugue turned back to the little window he was watching through. “Have you had any candidates that seemed…troubling?” “One or two. Why?” “I’m wondering if it was a good idea to let Mrs. Wallace undergo Conversion.” Twilight frowned. “What do you mean?” “Well, she just seemed… how can I put this? She seemed like she was being forced into it. I should have asked her to wait longer. Maybe if I had done a longer interview…’ “Mr. Fugue, I’m sure you did everything required. It’s your first candidate, right?” He nodded morosely. “Don’t worry. There’s always a bit of second guessing yourself. If you’ve done your job, then everything should be fine. Oh! She’s waking up!” Fugue turned back as Mary began to stir, her legs kicking as her eyes opened, blinking. Sweet Dreams, the unicorn that had given her the drink, whispered to her and calmed her as she began to wriggle, doing her best to help her off the bed. “You should go in there.” Twilight nudged him with one hoof. “What?” Fugue blinked. “You did her interview, right? You talked to her and such, right?” “Well, yes.” “Usually, if I’m the one who receives a candidate, I try to be there when they come out of the change. Helps to have a friendly face, you know?” “Oh! Right! Sorry.” Twilight shook her head as Fugue raced off. Curiously, she peered through the window as Fugue trotted over, helping Mary up as Sweet Dreams stepped back. He was talking to her. Twilight couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it seemed to calm the new pony down a little. Well, things seem to be going well here. Twilight turned, walking towards the door. This should be a piece of cake. I’ll be out of here in two days. Three at most. --- Night came slowly in Dallas, with the reflections of outside lights and passing cars reflecting through the windows. That wasn’t the reason why Mary was having problems sleeping, however. Nor was it her new body. At first, her new form was a shock to her. But thanks to Fugue and the other ponies she had at least gotten used to it. They had helped her to her feet when she fell over, gotten her food, helped her clean up, shown her around. They had welcomed her like one of their own, without a hint of malice or meanness. Maybe that was what was troubling her so much. They’d been nice to her. They hadn’t wanted anything from her. Lily had even told her she could get her dress re-fitted if she wanted. How could she do what she was about to do? No, don’t start that. She thought to herself as she pushed herself up on the bed. You’re doing this for your family and for God. Like Pastor Morrow said; don’t question the plan. Still, as she pulled her purse over to her with her teeth and nosed around in, she felt a sharp twang in her heart. A sense that what she was going to do was wrong. She snorted as she finally pulled the phone from the insides of the bag. With an irritated frown, she bumped the pad with her hoofed foot, then bent it slightly to tag the auto-dial button with the very edge of her hoof. After a few misses, she was rewarded the soft beeping noise of the dialing, followed by the ringing noise and the familiar robotic voice. “Morrow Days Ministry, how may I help you?” “This is Mary Wallace. I need to speak with Pastor Morrows.” She whispered tersely into the receiver. “One moment.” Mary looked at the door nervously. Was there a night watchman? Would someone hear her? “Hello Mary.” Mary leaned down, putting her ear to the phone as Pastor Morrow spoke. “I’m assuming you’ve completed your mission, am I right?” “Yes.” She whispered quietly. “Good. I’ll dispatch some gentlemen to rescue you. Try to be in the entrance-way of the Bureau waiting for them. Go with God, Mary.” The phone beeped as the connection went silent. Mary picked the phone up and dropped it back into her purse, then ducked her head as best she could through the strap, letting it hang around her neck and thump against her knees. Actually getting downstairs was the hard part. It had been tough enough in the daytime. Slowly, Mary shuffled along the wall, trying to make as little noise as possible as she supported herself, her eyes wide as she kept an eye out for any witnesses. The other ponies, however, seemed to be sleeping soundly. The stairs were another challenge; thankfully, her eyes had adjusted to the dim light as she carefully stepped downwards. Her progress was very slow, however. It seemed like an eternity before she reached the ground floor. A dark, very quiet eternity where she strained her eyes and ears, hoping no-one else was awake. The front office was empty and dimly lit once she arrived. Nobody seemed to be manning the desk. Her breath came in short, soft pants as she slowly stood up from against the wall. All she had to do was get over to the doors and walk out. It would be easy. Step. Step-Step. Step. THUD. Mary winced as he toppled over mid-totter, her side banging against the desk. That hurt. She winced again as she followed the curve of the desk, then slowly wobbled over and around the circumference of the wall, her tail sliding quietly along the carpeted floor. She finally reached the door. Which didn’t open. Oh God, it’s locked. What do I do? What do I do?! She began to huff in panic There had to be some way. The desk! Maybe there’s a key or button at the desk! With a slow, nervous gait, she made her way back around the room, following the wall as a guide before reaching the desk once again, slowly sliding behind it. Aside from the rack of data pads, thee wasn’t much else there. At least until she started nosing around and accidentally turned the holographic console on. Yes! There we go! She reached up, tapping a hoof on the button labeled ’Alarm On/Off’, followed by ‘Front Door Lock On/Off.’ There was a soft ‘click’ as the door locks disengaged. The nervous mare stumbled again, sliding along the wall for the third time before stumbling out of the doors an onto the concrete sidewalk. The air tasted foul in her nostrils, and even worse in her mouth as she tried to catch her breath. She tried not to cough as she looked around. Not much traffic at this time of night, even for Dallas. She stood thee rocking side-to-side without much balance until a black van pulled up in front of her. She didn’t panic as two large and burly men, dressed in loose-fitting clothes and black ski-masks climbed out of the back, picking her up like a sack of potatoes and depositing her in the back. She did blink as one disappeared into the bureau itself. “Um… wh-what are you doing?” “Better you not know miss.” The driver replied. “Just doing some clean-up.” “You’re not going to…” “No miss, just taking care of a few things with their computers.” “Oh.” Mary winced as the men piled into the van. “Go.” “Right, did you take care of their stuff?” “Wiped clean.” The speaker chuckled, holding up a large, quarter-inch diameter rod about the length of his forearm. “Fucked up their data pads too.” Mary swallowed. The uneasy feeling that she was doing something terribly wrong had come back again as the van drove off with a whine of its engines. * * * PONIES OF A RISING SUN A MLP:FiM Conversion Bureau Fanfic by Yuriejb/Purple Prose Based on The Conversion Bureau by Blaze and Midnight’s Tale by Midnight Shadow Chapter 3: An Act of Rehabilitation: ROBO and Koga Clop-clop-clop-clop. Koga couldn’t help but pay attention to the noise his hoofed feet were making on the rubbery surface of the track. It was a bit distracting, to say the least. The rubber surface of the walking path was warm underneath his hooves. He felt a little nervous as other pedestrians turned slightly to look at him as he passed, a few taking pictures. The Adachi Arcology’s rooftop recreation area was a comfortable place for the more physical parts of his and his friends ‘rehab’ to take place at. Covered over with a large, thick bubble of protective glass, the rec-area was like a large, carefully maintained park. A park full of artificial grass and plants, but a park nonetheless. The snaking rubber walking path circumnavigated the entire rooftop complex like a long, gently-curving raceway, branching off every so often to lead to a smaller area like the Zen garden or the pool. However, it wasn’t very crowded in the mornings, and perfect to practice walking. It had been three days since the Conversion, and Koga was getting the hang of his new form. He could walk forwards without falling over, he could trot at a decent clip, and could even run a little bit without worrying about falling flat on his face. Backing up was still a bit of a pain, but at least he wasn’t wobbling side-to-side like a toddler anymore. Now if I could just lose my escort. He thought to himself, glancing to his side. Grapevine was trotting along beside him, humming a cheerful tune. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the company. Grapevine was a pleasant enough individual; polite, well-meaning and with a relentlessly positive outlook on life. No, what irritated Koga is that the purple pony went everywhere with him. The only place Grapevine didn’t follow him was when Koga went to the toilet, to his sleeping quarters, or when he was handed off to one of the other ponies. Grapevine was waiting at the door each morning to escort him and his friends to the Bureau for their rehabilitation, and escorted them back each night. It was starting to get just a little creepy. Does he really have nothing better to do? Koga thought to himself morosely as he trotted along. Or is he just clingy? “So, Koga.” “Huh?” Koga blinked, shaking his head. “What?” “Sorry, you just looked like you were worried about something. Are you alright?” “Huh? Oh, oh yeah. I’m fine, really. Just thinking, you know.” “Thinking about what?” Grapevine tilted his head, sidling a little closer. “You know, just…things.” Koga tried to sidestep the issue. “What kinds of things?” “Things. You know, like my lesson later.” “Ohhhh. You mean with Ivory. Well, you really don’t need to worry about it. Ivory’s tough, but he’ll warm up to you.” Grapevine smiled cheerfully. Koga sighed, thankful he had avoided talking about what was on his mind. The ‘rehabilitation’ as the ponies were calling it was really rather simple. Initially, it was just them getting used to maneuvering around, which was what the walking on the track was for. By now, it had fallen into a simple routine: walking and exercise during the morning, then several hours of basic language both written and spoken, then lunch. Lunch was followed by another set of classes on basic biology, followed by etiquette and certain ‘does’ and ‘don’ts’ Then there was another exercise session during the evening, dinner, and socializing. Koga almost felt like he was back at high school again. However, today was going to be different. Koga and ROBO were going to be handed off to special trainers to help handle his magic and ROBO’s wings. He knew that they meant well, and these sorts of things were very important, but he couldn’t help but feel a little childish. He wanted to go back to working on one of his dolls again. Even if it was just something simple, like priming or fiddling with a worn-down socket. “You’re looking sad again. Are you sure you’re alright?” “Yeah, I’m fine. Please stop asking me that.” Koga didn’t want to snap, but a hint of aggravation crept into his voice. “Sorry. Just making sure you’re alright. You’ve just been really grumpy…” Koga didn’t say anything, he just kept looking ahead. Grapevine swallowed. “So, uh…yeah. Maybe we should finish up before you meet with Ivory. Feel like a run?” “I guess.” Grapevine nodded and took off at a full gallop. Koga followed a few steps after, hooves thundering on the rubbery road. For a few, brief moments, Koga felt a surge of exhilaration, something half-remembered and distant. --- The Zen garden was quiet as Koga trotted in, his hooves bending the grass as he walked. The white sand surrounding the small rock outcroppings in the ‘pond’ glittered in the morning sun, hints of light playing off the grooves carved in the sand by rakes. Off to one side, a group of elderly residents were quietly talking and sharing cups of tea on a bench. However, Koga’s attention was not on them at the moment, it was on hi instructor. The stallion sitting there was quite large and stocky, with an off white coat. His thick horn poked upwards like the spike of a lance, and his gray-and-white mane pulled into a tight, smooth braid along his crest. His tail was a similar color, short and braided as well. What was most jarring was the large eye patch that covered his left eye, his good right eye a sharp, piercing blue color. That eye focused on Koga as he approached, his nostrils flaring in a snort. The mark on his flank was a stylized column, the top and bottom wide and ornate. Koga felt butterflies in his stomach. The stallion had a military air about him, an aura of awareness and confidence that reminded him of the samurai from the old films he’d seen, or one of the old karate masters he’d seen on competitions on the holonet. “Ivory-Sensei?” The stallion stood up, nodding to him politely. “You must be Koga.” His voice was deep and firm. “Please, sit.” He pointed a hoof at the grass in front of him. Koga bowed as best he could, then promptly sat down on the grass as Ivory looked him over. He tried not to squirm. “Have you tried using your abilities before now, Mr. Koga?” “No, Ivory-sensei. Should I have?” Ivory snorted. “It would have helped. However, that’s not a problem.” The unicorn glanced over to where he was seated, his horn glowing with a light blue aura as a bag floated over and opened, dumping a set of objects onto the grass. Koga looked them over. It was an eclectic collection: a painted wooden ball, a pencil, a pair of rings, a cup-and-ball toy, and several other knick-knacks that looked like puzzle pieces. The pencil levitated up first, floating in front of his eyes. “Since you weren’t originally born with the ability to do magic like a regular unicorn, this will likely feel quite foreign to you. However, I can assure you that by the end of this week, you will learn how to use your telekinesis, at least. Now, let’s begin with the basic principle of lifting.” “Right. How do I do that?” Ivory snorted and shook his head. “Think of your magic as your hands, something that can lift and pull and move things around. Focus on that mental image, then give it a little mental push. Your horn will do the rest. Just make sure to keep concentrating, though. That’s the important part.” Koga nodded, then aimed his horn downwards, glancing down the spiral at the pencil. This shouldn’t be too hard. Just think like you’re using your hands. Think. Think. He squinted, his teeth pushing together as he focused, trying to will the pencil to move as Ivory watched him clinically. Come on. Move. Lift! Do something! He concentrated harder. The pencil didn’t move. Koga clenched his teeth harder, trying to focus his mind. There was a dull rushing noise in his ears as he concentrated harder. The pencil didn’t move. “Hnnngh!” He ground his teeth, his eyes squinted into slits. A dull pain was forming on the forefront of his brain. The pencil still didn’t move. After a solid minute and a half, Ivory clicked his tongue. “Enough.” Koga exhaled, his hoofed feet going to his head. It felt like his brain ached. “Ow. Why isn’t it…what am I doing wrong?” “Nothing. You’re just unused to using magic. Think of it like exercising a broken limb, getting all the muscles to work like they used to. Remember to focus on lifting.” Ivory rolled the pencil closer on the grass. “Now, try again.” “Again? My head is pounding and…” Ivory snorted and frowned at him severely. “Try. Again.” The tone of voice brooked no disagreeing. Koga groaned, then aimed his horn down at the pencil and focused, trying to keep the mental image in his head. Still the pencil didn’t move. Koga slumped slightly as Ivory told him ‘Enough,’ once again, his mind briefly wondering to ROBO as he massaged his skull. --- “Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down!” ROBO grimaced as places he’d never knew existed burned and ached, shooting a glare at his tormentor. The crimson-coated pegasus tapped her hoof on the ground in time with her calls, her swept back black and pink mane bouncing slightly like the crest of a bird as she kept time. “Alright kid, let’s take it up a notch!” The Pegasus increased her count speed, forcing ROBO to keep up as he flapped his wings. Up, down, up, then down again. His shoulders burned and his muscles ached. “Annnd rest!” ROBO collapsed onto his side, groaning in pain, thankful for brief respite. He didn’t even comment on the fact that he was laying on the grass and possibly getting dirty, he was just glad that he could lay there. “I have been broken!” he cried petulantly. “You have broken me you horrible witch!” “Oh stop being so dramatic, you’re fine.” Red Robin rolled her eyes at her student. “Stop acting like a spoiled colt and get off your side.” “I will do nothing of the-oof!” The charcoal Pegasus was promptly rolled onto his side with a firm push of Robin’s hoof. “There we go. Best not to lay on your side like that unless you’re on a cloud- what’s the matter now?” Robin stared as ROBO scooted back, his hoof brushing where she touched him. “Oh yeah, forgot, you don’t like being touched. Sorry about that.” He winced. “I’ll take care of it when we get back to the Bureau. I’ll find some anti-bacterial wipes or-or-or…” There was a nervousness in his voice. “You know, you’re going to have to get over this eventually. Especially once you get used to flying around.” “Feh.” ROBO snorted. “Why should I be so invested in flying around, running into bugs and dirty clouds and other…things.” “You know, you’re the first pegasus I’ve ever met that doesn’t want to fly. And that’s saying something.” Robin circled around the skinny male pegasus, her wings folded tight. “Don’t you want to feel the wind in your mane, the clouds under your feet?” “No thank you.” ROBO turned his nose up. “I’d much rather be doing something else.” “What then? What is it that you like?” ROBO inhaled slowly, fixing the red-coated mare with a suspicious glare. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to get on my good side so you can play around with my head. Well, it’s not going to work.” Robin frowned and sighed, glancing downward and kicking the turf. “I’m trying to help you. It’s my job to get you in flying shape so that you’ll be able to get around like all the other pegasi. I’m not trying to give you grief, I’m really not…” “Uh-huh…” He kept his eyes on her. “Look, how about we just continue with the exercises, alright? Would you mind doing that?” There was an awkward moment before ROBO nodded. Robin sighed and shook her head. “Alright,” she started, trying to get her groove back. “Let’s start with some shoulder and thigh work, so we can get you ready for take off. Bend slightly, then hop upwards. Like this.” Robin demonstrated, bending slightly before bounding into the air. “How many of these are we going to do?” ROBO scrunched down slightly. “Until I say stop, just like the wing beats. Ready? And one…” --- “Enough.” Koga felt like his skull was two sizes to small as he flopped onto the grass, feeling slightly cross-eyed as he held his head. He never felt so horrible in his life: even the headaches he’d gotten after drinking to much was nothing compared to this. And even then, he had nothing to show for it. Thirty minutes of trying to move a damn pencil, and it hadn’t even moved a millimeter from where it lay on the grass. A cup of water floated down into his field of vision. Koga tilted his head up, drinking from it. “Thanks.” “It’s no problem.” Ivory said, floating the now-empty cup up. “I must be a terrible student.” Koga chuckled, then winced, wishing he hadn’t. “Oh no, I’ve seen worse.” Ivory took a sip from his own cup. “You’re also working from a handicap. Most unicorns start practicing magic when they’re colts and fillies, often with a teacher or at a special school. You, on the other hoof, don’t have the experience or formal training.” Ivory hmmed, picking up the pencil himself. “If it helps, some unicorns have an initial barrier, a ‘hump’ if you will, before their magic kicks in. That’s why we’re doing this exercise; to get you through the worst of it as quickly as we can.” “How long until I get over this ‘hump?’” “Don’t know. I’d imagine you feel rather sick right now, right?” Koga nodded and Ivory chuckled. “That’s you butting your head against that initial barrier, so to speak. Just give it time, and you’ll be using magic just like any other unicorn. Try closing your eyes if that helps.” Koga did so. “If I may ask, Ivory-sensei…what did you do before all this?” “Hmm? Oh, I was an instructor. I taught Remedial Magic in Canterlot. Before that, I was a Royal Guard.” “A Royal Guard? Really? For Celestia-hime?” “Yup. I retired after I lost my eye, and became a teacher.” “I didn’t know. It’s just I’ve never seen…” Koga’s voice trailed off. “Seen what?” “Well, injured ponies, Ivory-sensei.” “You’ve never seen a pony any less than perfect?” Ivory chuckled. “It happens. Oh no, don’t worry, I’m not offended. I lost my eye for a good reason. Believe me, we get hurt just as easily as humans do.” “I didn’t mean to pry.” Koga started apologetically. “You don’t need to apologize. That’s always what confuses me about your country. You’re all so very polite and apologetic all the time. Want some more water?” “Yes please.” Koga cracked an eye open as he heard water splash into a cup. “Ready to continue?” Ivory carefully sat down, floating the pencil and the cup of water over to Koga, letting the smaller pony drink up. “Mf… might as well.” Ivory nodded. “Good. Determination. I like that. Now remember, focus on lifting, push that idea, focus on it, and let your horn do the rest.” “Yes, Ivory-sensei.” Koga glared down at the pencil, doing his best to ignore the throbbing in his head. I can do this. Koga’s mind focused, the familiar dull roar of blood running through his ears filling his head as he concentrated all of his will on moving that single, small pencil. His teeth ground slowly. If he still had fingers, they’d likely be pulling on the artificial turf. Come on. Lift. Lift. LIFT! There was a noise in his ears, a loud, hollow pop before a neon green aura formed around the pencil with a flash. The pencil flew upwards like a rocket as Ivory watched. Koga, meanwhile, slumped onto the grass, a satisfied groan coming from his throat. The headache was gone. Wearily, he glanced up at the older unicorn. “How was that, Ivory-sensei?” “Good work. Up on your hooves.” Ivory gave Koga a nudge with one hoof, then nudged him with his nose and helped him to his hooves. The unicorn wobbled, his sense of equilibrium slightly disrupted. “My head feels funny…” “You overdid it. However, that’s to be expected. Congratulations, you’re over the worst of it. I think that this will be enough for right now. However, when your head clears out, you’ll need to keep practicing. Just focus on lifting things, and try not to overdo it.” Koga nodded slowly. “What about your pencil?” “I’m sure I’ll find it soon enough.” --- “And rest! Well done!” ROBO groaned, his legs wobbling underneath him as he landed from his last hop. The mare was torturing him for mouthing off at her, he was sure. Why else would she have combined the exercises. Now his entire body ached and burned as he wobbled woozily from one side to another. “Are…we done…yet?” He whined. “We are for now.” Robin giggled, trotting off to the side and returning with a ladle of water clasped in her teeth, offering the cup-shaped dipper to ROBO. The dark-coated pegasus didn’t complain as he lapped up the water noisily. He felt so damned thirsty. “There we go. Feel better?” Robin mumbled around the handle before she trotted back to the water container. “I haven’t hurt this badly since high school.” ROBO whimpered. “I always hated gym. This sort of thing never happens when I’m working on something.” “Working on something? So you do have something you like?” Robin smiled. Maybe he was opening up at last? ROBO snorted. “Well, of course.” “What did you like? I mean, I know you don’t like physical stuff…” ROBO growled in irritation. “If I tell you, will you leave me alone about it?” He snapped. “You’ve been pestering me about it all this time.” Robin nodded, eliciting a sigh from the former human. “I like machines.” “Machines?” “Yes. Machines. I like how they work, taking them apart, making them better. I like robots. I like robot girls. Is that an answer to your question?” ROBO grumbled, his voice trailing off. Robin hummed, then smiled. “I bet you’d like Cloudsdale then. My brother works at the weather factory there!” “A what?” “Weather factory. It’s where we pegasi produce stuff like clouds and snowflakes and rainbows. They have a lot of fancy machines there; you’ll probably like it.” ROBO stared at his trainer. “You… make weather? And you make it in a factory?” He stated in a voice thick with disbelief. “Of course, silly, where else would we make it? My brother says it’s a lot more efficient than waiting for it to form naturally like here on Earth.” “More efficient? What’s so funny?” ROBO glared as Robin began to giggle. “Sorry, it’s just that you looked so shocked.” Robin tried to control her giggling, even though ROBO snorted and looked away. “I just…didn’t expect something so silly. I’ll have to look into that, then.” “Alright then, but the only way you’ll be making it into Cloudsdale is if you learn how to fly…” “Then I’ll learn to fly, even if it kills me.” ROBO stamped one hoof, then whinnied in panic as a pencil fell from the sky and buried itself half-way into the ground right next to his hoof with a loud thump. “Huh. I think this is Ivory Pillar’s pencil.” Robin leaned down and plucked the offending object from the turf it was buried in with her teeth before setting it aside. “I’ll have to give it back to him once we get back to the Bureau.” “That thing nearly killed me! Where did it come from?!” ROBO glanced upwards, eyes wide. Robin giggled again. “Ivory was probably demonstrating something for your friend and overdid it. That’s a little unprofessional of him, but it’s probably just an accident. Now, if you’re ready, we should head back to the Bureau. We don’t want to miss out on your next class, now do we?” * * * The Conversion Bureau Midnight’s Tail Part 1 - Hitting the Road *** Part 1 - Hitting the Road Part 2 - Hoofing It Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road Part 6 - Epilogue *** An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3 Based upon Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe Original: Equestria Daily - Conversion Bureau *** The building was imposing, but then many buildings were now. So many changes over so little a space of time; Martin Danielson shook his head, trying not to grin like a loon at what he was about to do. It was only a few years after what the world was calling ‘the last revolution’, the dawn of a technological singularity had brought global change on an unprecedented level. Cheap mass production, general artificial intelligence - almost overnight the world moved towards a state of post-scarcity, only not without hiccups. Heavy industry the world over, especially in previously third-world countries, had ruined much of the biosphere. Plants and animals had suffered, died, become extinct. People had starved, communities collapsed, fortunes lost. It had come so close to war so many times...but then the ponies had appeared, bringing with them even wilder changes. They offered something beyond the wildest dreams of the faltering hordes of humanity; a new life. Their lands were pure, pristine, unsullied by heavy industry - indeed, unsullied by almost any industry save farming. Many had lobbied for access to this paradise through the global human-dominated senates, houses and other governmental and quasi-governmental organizations, seeking to take advantage of prime real estate, excellent farmlands, clement weather apparently controlled by the rulers of ‘Equestria’ as they called it. Ambassadors had been sent...and returned empty handed, for around this land was a seemingly magical barrier, impenetrable to humans. Instead, these ponies sent their own ambassadors out to meet humankind. They spoke of friendship, they carried no weapons save horn and hoof, yet brandished powers which they freely spoke of as indeed being magical. The word had come out, no, there would never be humans in Equestria. They were forbidden entry, for humans had ruined their own world, why should they just be given another to pillage and spoil? The ponies were aghast at poisons tipped into rivers, poisons sprayed on crops, fed to children. Traps set to rid the land of “pests” which would otherwise be out there removing the bugs and other ailments suffered by plantlife, negating the need for such chemicals. Animals kept in awful conditions with little regard for their wellbeing - humans were apparently intelligent, but the ponies had real trouble comprehending what appeared to be madness ingrained so deep it was no longer recognized. However, the ponies were compassionate - using their phenomenal powers, whatever the basis, they had devised a way to offer succour to those in need. The Conversion Bureaus. The ponies set up, using what little they had to trade, a network of centers the world over, where they planned to take in humans and, somehow, change them into ponies. Martin was going to be amongst the first, what did he have to lose? He’d studied for years in systems administration. learnt to ply his trade, gotten a few breaks - and then almost-self-aware programs had been developed and he was no longer needed. He remembered fondly the first real general AI as it clumsily assisted with his work, quoting poetry and koans as it picked apart his commands and acted upon them, its growing familiarity with the tasks set for it. He remembered the painful pride when it and thousands like it had grown more competent than he and his kind, he had become obsolete. Nothing he knew was needed, almost overnight the entire market had not just collapsed, it had ceased to exist. Only very, very few held positions any longer, managing the seed programs, managing what hardware and software was unable to be managed by other programs, but almost to a man, millions the world over had been put to pasture. Martin just decided to take it one step further when he saw the advert playing on his holoprojector that one fateful morning. He’d been moping about the apartment, living off of instant meals and energy drinks, barely bothering to get dressed, even using those damned AI programs to make him appear dressed when speaking over the comm-link. They expertly made him appear well-coiffed, clean shaven, smart - his mirror on the other hand begged to differ. He hadn’t left his apartment in days - the air outside was often filthy, almost unbreathable at times and the mass of steel and concrete stretched for an eternity before any form of countryside. When there, what could he do? The grass was protected, he couldn’t swim in the lake for fear he’d poison the fish...it was a joke. Industry had won on the manufacturing legislation, and the greens had won on the rest. The result was an unworkable mishmash of lack of oversight and crippling regulations on the use of free time and public amenities. Besides, there was nobody outside he wanted to meet. With ten thousand channels of instant entertainment at his fingertips, and glorious full-dee holovision communications anywhere on the planet, why would he ever leave? Then the advert had come on, showing pictures taken with simple chemical-based cameras of an idyllic natural paradise. Martin had taken a single look around his apartment - clean and neat, light and airy, but otherwise barren - and had got up, washed, shaved and got dressed. He didn’t even pack. He took his car, the fuel-cell battery not even half-charged from neglect, it would only take him one way, and drove. *** A bare half hour later, he stood outside the imposing building in his home city-state, not the first in the world but one of the first. The parking lot was pristine, empty save for his vehicle. The roads had been clear, relatively speaking. Much work was done remotely now, with fuel costs sky-rocketing as the last industrial revolution produced massive wealth for the few. For the masses, they had yet to feel the benefits of a so-called post-scarcity world. Indeed, every day more found they were not needed, and were afforded the bare minimum of support to live and learn a new trade. A new trade. Martin chuckled coldly to himself, very few careers needed new blood. Very few careers wanted old blood. His chosen path had perhaps been sudden, but he had made his mind up. Here he was. The Conversion Bureau. Martin looked at the doors and his grin faded slightly; a big sign said ‘SORRY! We Are Closed!’ - as he read it he snorted, “even in the future nothing works!” He turned around, pulled his hat over his head and sat down by the double doors to wait. What else did he have to do? Clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop... Martin opened his eyes, the sun had moved a little but not much. He was comfortable enough, and with the weather and pollution forcast set to be clear, he didn’t worry overly about being outside that day. He blinked though at the sight of a purple horse - no, a purple unicorn pony trotting to the building trying her best not to look flustered, “I’m so, so sorry! I’m late, nobody remembered to open the doors, I broke the jelly-phone thing they gave me and I couldn’t call anypony on it anyway because, hey, hooves...” Martin blinked again, and held out a hand, scrambling to get up. The approximately three-foor-high unicorn mare - he assumed mare, it sounded like a she and he was too polite to actually look - stuck out a hoof. “Shake?” asked Martin dumbly. “I...I believe that’s what you humans do, but I thought it involved more touching.” “Oh, ah, er, sorry...” Martin took gentle hold of her hoof and shook it, lightly, almost afraid she would burst into glitter or somehow pop like a soap-bubble. A talking horse! No, he reminded himself, a talking pony. “This is where we introduce ourselves, yes?” she said. “I...guess so,” said Martin, flustered. He was shaking the hoof of a talking purple pony unicorn! Nothing in his life had prepared him for a talking purple pony unicorn. Her hoof was soft, surprisingly supple, shaped exactly like a normal horse’s hoof, yet with a difference he found he couldn’t place. Her pelt was equally soft, well-brushed, smooth and most important, she didn’t smell. He’d expected her to smell of, well, horse. She didn’t. She smelt of flowers, hay, grass. There was something he’d called ‘earthy’ but it was far from unpleasant. “I think you’re supposed to let go after you stop shaking, and you’re supposed to say you’re name whilst you do? I’m Twilight Sparkle.” “Twilight..?” “Sparkle. You say your name now.” “Martin. Danielson. Pleased to meet you...Miss Sparkle.” he wasn’t sure what you addressed a pony as. He didn’t know if she was married...did ponies get married? “You’re the only one here today it seems - you might as well call me Twilight - everypony else does. Shame, I had this whole speech setup.” she pointed with her muzzle at the cloth bags on her shoulders, a bound sheaf of papers stuck out, hand-written, or hoof-written, thought Martin to himself, “can I give you the speech? It’s...I worked hard on it...” she looked positively downcast. “Maybe...maybe there’ll be more later? And you can use it then?” “You’re right. I hope. I wouldn’t want all of this to go to waste,” and she gestured with a hoof, “it’s hard work getting through all your laws and bylaws and inlaws and so on. Oh me, if I wasn’t so organized...but even I have limits. Well, come on in. We may as well get started!” “Right now?” “You...don’t want to be a pony? You do know what we do here, right? Nopony’s making you come?” “Nobody, no. I-I-I...I wanted to come. I mean...I saw the advert. And I wanted to go there. To Equestria. As a pony.” “Relax, Martin, it’s not a difficult process to go through. We’ve done it hundreds of times before.” Twilight opened the doors to the building somehow with her horn, it flashed briefly and they slid open silently. Inside was cool, pleasant. A white unicorn with a luxurious purple mane was speaking into a phone that she managed to somehow hold on her shoulders as she filed a hoof with a rasp that was floating in mid-air. “How...how is she doing that?” whispered Martin to himself Twilight looked, “I really don’t know, every time I try that I get the most awful neckache.” “I meant the rasp!” “Magic. She’s a unicorn.” “Magic? There’s no such thing.” Twilight stopped in mid-trot, “Martin? Do you actually know anything about me and my little ponies?” “I...you’re...er...ponies?” “Yes?” “And...you live in Equestria.” “And?” “And you talk.” “That’s it?” Twilight face-hoofed, muttered, “why do I put up with this.” and stomped off calling “Spike! Spike!” The soft sibilant snoring noise Martin had been hearing, which he’d blamed the air-conditioning, abruptly ended and a sheepish scaly face peered over the counter, “yes, Twilight?” “Spike...were you sleeping again?” “I’m a baby dragon, Twilight. I’ve got to get my sleep you know.” “Then you should go to bed earlier instead of watching the movie channels and playing computer games. Maybe that way you’ll be in time to open the doors.” Twilight pointed a hoof at Martin and gave the purple and green dragon a dirty look. “Sorry Twi,” said Spike, retreating behind the desk. The snoring started again. “Dragon.” said Martin “Spike, yes. He’s my assistant. Come on, let’s show you around the place.” “Dragon...” said Martin again, pointing. Twilight rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle push as she gave him the grand tour. The receptionist was Rarity - at least whilst they broke in the new crew, who hadn’t arrived yet. Fluttershy was the name of a timid yellow pegasus they found out in the gardens, tending to the crops and an alarmingly large number of small furry cute critters, all of which seemed to bustle around Fluttershy as if they were tame. Somehow she had them doing work on her behalf, a small army of helpful rodents, clearing away dead leaves, picking berries, digging holes...Martin had never seen anything like it. He was so struck by the oddness of it all, he almost got bowled over by a blue, rainbow-haired winged streak of lightning called Rainbow Dash who was, to fit her name, dashing around the place on a million small errands. “Twi’, I don’t know why you got me here, this place is like, so lame. You barely let me out of the grounds and when you do, flying on Earth is all regulations and comm-checks - the helmet and goggles they make me wear chafe my ears something fierce. Can you believe they tried to make me hire unionized mechanics? For these bad babies?” Dash held up her wings triumphantly and struck a pose, “I only got out of it because I class as a light aircraft, AND a diplomatically protected one at that.” Dash turned to look at Martin, “who’s this dweeb?” “DASH! You mind your manners!” “I’m only joshin’, hello human. Dash is the name.” Dash held out a hoof, Martin gripped it carefully and shook. “And dashing’s the game?” replied Martin “Heh, I could get used to you. Let’s hang out some time, after you get ponied up. You’ll probably be cute.” she kissed her hoof and blew it at him before zooming off. “Are all the other ponies like her?” “Nope, some know how to address a stranger politely.” “She was just being friendly. You’re all friendly. Don’t you ever fight?” Twilight stopped for a moment, “we don’t tend to fight. What would we fight over? I mean Dash is obnoxious at times, and Rarity’s prissy, but they’re my friends, and Fluttershy...well Fluttershy is Fluttershy.” “Descriptive names, you have.” “We like to have names that suit us. Some of us - like my friend Applejack who’s back home seeing to her orchards - tend to have a family speciality. You’ll meet the Apple Clan if you come live near Ponyville. Then again, we live closer than you humans do - you all have family names to keep track of all your kith and kin. Not a bad idea, I think it’s the only way the Apple Clan really know who’s who. Then again, it’s the Apple Clan...” Just then, as they headed back into the building proper, with Twilight about to display the sleeping quarters to Martin, there was a burst of static and a giggle, followed by a loud clopping noise as a hoof hit a microphone, “This thing on? Heeelllooooo! Ooh it is! I just love these...ahem! Good morning, er, afternoon! This is Pinkie Pie speaking, and I’ll be doing the daily announcement! My first one! Wheee! Isn’t that special! Well today, we have...oh...just the one? Well that makes him extra specially special! We have Martin Danielson in the center today to be ponified! Isn’t that great! Let’s all give Marty, the M-meister, M.D, the D-man, M-dawg...oh fine, let’s all give Martin,” and he could hear the eyeballs rolling at being denied her fun, “a big stomping stampede of a welcome!” The microphone clicked off loudly, and with a bustle and a sudden burst of streamers and confetti, a bright pink pastel pony bounded into the room, one hoof holding a ridiculously oversized foam hand that read ‘Number 1!’ which she waved around as she bounced on all three remaining hooves around the startled human. He could barely keep up and felt rather dizzy after only a few repetitions, but it didn’t seem to bother Pinkie Pie. “Whooo! That was great! We should totally have a party!” “Pinkie, no. No parties. Not today. Later!” “Aww, you’re such a sticky sticky stick in the mud you...you...mud-sticking stick you.” Pinkie stuck out a tongue “Anyway,” said Twilight, pointedly turning around so her rear was facing Pinkie, who continued making faces, “normally we’d get you settled in, you’d be here for a few days and get used to the idea, but...well...no time like the present.” “Don’t you want to know why I want to be a pony? Allergies? Employment history?” “Do you have any allergies?” “I...no.” “oh, well, that was simple. How about your employment history then?” “I...I work with computers. Or I did, before...” “Oh,” Twilight looked puzzled, “well we don’t really have many computers. It’s the hooves. We can’t really use the fiddly things. Rarity’s the only one who can dial a jelly-phone without it breaking in two.” “So...can you take me?” “Of course.” “Not worried about my job prospects?” “Not really. You’ll find something to do, everypony always does.” “Aren’t you worried I could be a trouble-maker?” “Are you a trouble-maker?” “I..no!” “Fine! Then it’s settled. Unless you want to go through the formal route, I think this one time we can skip the ‘frou-frou’ as Spike would call it and get straight to the whole ponification part. You ready?” Martin blinked, “I...I guess so. Let’s go before I change my mind.” “Once we do this, there’s no turning back. Nopony’s ever wanted to, but just so we’re straight,” said Twilight, “it’s a one-way trip. You’ll be giving up everything you have here and starting a new life. It’s why we usually have the whole week-long thing. Those unsure check out long before then.” “What can I say,” said Martin at the double-doors below a sign marked simply ‘Ponification Station’, “let’s do this.” The room itself, down the long corridor behind the double doors, was spotless. Unused, even. It had a vaguely operating-room smell, disinfectant and not-yet-dried paint, but looked business-like enough. “Hop up on the seat here,” Twilight indicated the oddly-shaped seat with arm and leg-rests. “Shouldn’t I take my clothes off or something?” “Oh! Heh, silly me. Yes, it’ll be much easier to work that way, and taking them off after isn’t really going to work.” “Not to mention we had to pop the eyeballs back in of the last guy who didn’t take his poloneck sweater off!” laughed a voice outside the window “Dash! That’s a lie and you know it!” “Hehehe....” somehow Rainbow made a pop noise with her hoof in her muzzle and put on a derpy-eyed expression. Twilight growled under her breath and pulled the venetian blinds down with her teeth, giving a swift twist of the neck to shut out the offensive pegasus. “Spoilsport. I wanted to see what he looked like!” she called from behind the screen “You’ll see him after! Scoot!” “I better. I bet he’s a pegasus like me.” “Scoot!” “Yeah yeah,” said the voice from behind the blinds as Dash gave up trying to peek between them, “I’ll catch ya later stud.” she was off with an audible swoosh. *** “So,” asked Martin, “how’s this going to work?” he was naked, mostly, blushing. It crossed his mind that all the ponies were, with the exception of Twilight who still had her bags on, and Rarity who had put on some sort of hat to keep her hair out of the way of her eye and presumably horn, absolutely naked. Why it should still bother him he didn’t know. “You lie down here, without the underwear - that would get uncomfortable on a pony and is quite unnecessary,” said Rarity, gesturing with a hoof, “and drink this.” A cup floated in front of Martin’s eyes. He blinked, would he ever get used to that? Taking it, he sniffed. It was purple, smelling slightly of berries or grapes. “And this makes me a pony?” he asked incredulously as he nervously removed his underwear and stood stark bollock naked in front of the largest single gathering of naked females he had ever stood infront of. Rarity swatted his hand away and gestured to the arm-rest disapprovingly, he was being difficult and childish, said her expression. “No, it makes you sleepy, silly!” said Pinkie, bouncing again. He didn’t know what she was doing, but she seemed excited. He realised he’d never seen her not excited. It can’t be such a bad life, he reckoned, if you can be that happy. He downed the mixture in one, making a face at the bitter aftertaste. “So, uh, how long bef-” he passed out. The first thing to come were sensations, emotions, pure light and sound. There was endless fields of waving grass, sweet summer breezes, azure-blue sky. He was without form, fluid, ethereal. The wind spoke of life, animals, ponies. Following the irresistable pull of life he found himself mingling with the herd. They didn’t speak in any language he knew but conversed with body and breath. He found he could understand them, “come!” and “go!” and “fight!” and “run!” spoke the multitude. In moments he found himself on all fours, bucking, prancing, neighing. He looked down, a beige vaguely-equine creature, more like what a horse was than what one looked like. They took off across the fields, and he followed, galloping into the sun. With a leap, a whinny of terror, a shrill cry of exultation, the ground under his hooves disappeared and with suddenly-sprouted wings he flew. Now the herd around him were swooping and diving, effortless in their mastery of the air. As the sun went down he flew towards a castle high on a rock, lights bright against the velvet sky, beneath stars that shone as none he could remember. Like mist he flowed through the open window, around the spiral staircase and down, down into chambers deep in the mountain. A library, a laboratory, horned ponies worked in soft, musical voices, mixing, creating, learning, teaching. In the middle of a suddenly-vast hall were two thrones, occupied by two ponies - one light and fiery, the other dark and glowing. They smiled at him, their twin glows growing bright, brighter, so bright he could barely see... He opened his eyes. The room, blinds up, sun streaming in through the curtain-less window straight into his face. He groaned, and brought a hand up to his face, only to slap himself silly with a hoof. When the stars had cleared he looked, and carefully waved the hoof in front of his massively-elongated nose, “It’s mine!” he said in a strange voice. He coughed, “forgive me, I’m a little hoarse.” With peals of laughter, the pink pony bounced up to him and gave him a kiss on the nose, “I knew you could do it! Oop, gotta mind that thing...” she moved her head to the side, and pecked his cheek. “Thing?” “You’re a unicorn, Martin.” “I...am?” “Dashy’s gonna be sooooo disappointed. She prefers pegasi. Sooo disappointed!” Pinkie gave him an appraising look that made his heart flutter for some reason, before bounding off again, “hee hee!” “Can you get up?” asked Twilight, as she and Rarity moved to give him room. “I...I don’t know...” Martin eased himself off the seat which had now bent and moulded itself to his four hooves and collapsed in a heap on the floor, “give me a minute.” “Carefully now, most of your muscles are still in the same place, but others...it might help to imagine walking on your fingertips, which you don’t have anymore. Gently now, even foals can do it almost right off the bat, I’m sure a big strong unicorn like you won’t have any trouble...” Martin put one foot on the floor - hoof, he corrected mentally - and then another. And another. And another. His elbows and knees - which he now seemed to have four of each - buckled and he almost fell over...but he regained composure at the last moment. He’d done it! Standing! “YAY!” said Pinkie, bouncing around him again so enthusiastically he found himself in a heap of hooves, knees, elbows, wrists, fetlocks...whatever it was the ponies had. Oh man, he said to himself, I’m going to have to go back to school when I don’t even know what my body parts are called. “You’re doing well!” said Twilight, giving Pinkie The Look and pointing out the door with one hoof, “want to see what you look like?” Rarity held up a mirror with her hooves, balancing it carefully so he could see himself, “darling,” she said, “your mane, your tail, simply gorgeous! When you get settled in you simply must come visit and model for me. I’ll have a whole range of clothing just for you...the possibilities!” Martin looked, and there in front of him was a dark blue - midnight blue, he thought to himself - unicorn stallion with glowing multi-coloured mane and tail. He held one hoof up, trying to copy the pose that Rainbow Dash had made. He almost had it but fell on his chin. He swore as he tasted a bit of blood, he’d bit his tongue, “ow! Dammit!” “Ooh, try to heal it!” said Pinkie, poking her head through the doors, somehow knowing he’d injured himself, she must have been hiding outside the door and listening since being banished, “you unicorns are good at that sorta thing!” “Heal ith?” he lisped, trying to look at his injured appendage. “Just...think of your tongue. Think of it not hurting, and then...make it so.” Martin did so, screwing up his eyes, clenching his jaw, somehow pushing with his mind until he felt something burst and suddenly his tongue no longer hurt! He stuck it out and looked at it, “I...I think that wath a succeth...” he said, “are unicorn tongues supposed to be quite that shade of purple?” *** The biggest challenge of his life faced him. He breathed heavily, steeling himself. He was not prepared. “Come on you silly foal, it’s only a hallway. It doesn’t bite.” “Easy for you to say, you’ve had more than five minutes with those legs of yours.” “Just a hop, skip and a jump!” “It’ll be hop, skip and splat if I try.” “Then,” said Twilight, shoving Pinkie out the way, who happily bounded away down the corridor like a pony-shaped india-rubber ball, “put one hoof in front of the other. Remember, two - that’s your right front hoof - three, your left hind hoof - one, your left FRONT hoof, and four, the right hind hoof.” “Easy...easy peasy...I can do this...” Martin put one hoof after the other, and found himself bunched up like a hoop as he’d forgotten to move his front legs. He fell over once again as he tried to stand up like a human, and dragged himself to his hooves once more. Leaning against the wall, ignoring the cries of “cheater!” from a giggling Pinkie Pie, he shuffled forwards a few steps sliding against the support before finding the rhythm. Clop-clop-clop-clop-clop-THUNK...he pulled himself up again, clop-clop-clop-clop.... clop-clop clop-clop... he had it! He laughed, was that it? He experimented, trying a trot. He tried a backwards trot...and then after picking himself up vowed to try trotting backwards much later. It seemed like forever, but he was suddenly at the double doors. He nosed them open - that’s why there’s no doorknobs! He realised - and stepped out into the main building’s common room. There was a bright flash as a dozen or more bulbs went off - apparently somepony has alerted the media, thought Martin to himself wryly as a gaggle of shouting, urgent, gesticulating hairless monkeys bade him look in their direction. It was almost comical in their frantic yelling and shouting for a response. They all spoke at once, just a jumble of noise, barely separable from base whooping and hollering, most of the questions non-sensical and ridiculous. “Oh, it’s just another of those ponies...hey, hey pony, what’s your name?” “This way, pony, look over here!” “Where’s the guy who came here? How much is he paying you for this?” “Is he dead? Will he recover? Our sources say he’ll have permanent brain damage and neural problems - how do you respond?” “Are the stories true, do you euthanize humans and replace them with pony duplicates?” Martin blinked, didn’t they..? No, no they didn’t. “I’m er, Midnight,” said Martin, making a name up on the spot, “Midnight...Sh-Shadow.” “Okay Midnight, tell you what, we’ll give you all the hay you can eat for a year if you tell us where the pony-dude is.” asked one of the brasher, louder reporters quickly. “Oh, you mean Martin? He’s out back in the gardens, I think, or off sleeping, if he didn’t run off already.” With a rushing and pushing and he sound of blows and breaking equipment, the gaggle of desperate reporters fell over themselves as they fought to get the exclusive first pictures of the ponified human, wherever he was hiding. Martin sniggered to himself and trotted out to the front desk to keep up the charade. Spike was sitting there, paws folded across his chest having listened to the whole thing, “So, Midnight Shadow, huh?” “Shh! I’ve got better things to do than pose for those vultures.” “Like what? I thought you humans thrived on fame, fortune and glory?” Martin stopped and blinked, looking at a hoof, “yeah. We...they do.” “Already a pony, huh?” “I guess I am.” “So, how’s it feel?” “I...I dunno. Kinda nice, I guess.” “And the clothing-optional status?” “I...oh...OH hell...I’m...” he blushed, he hadn’t even realised! “Relax, relax, I’m just messing with ya. After all, not a stitch on me either. Come on, let’s see what they’ve got in the cafeteria.” with that, the baby dragon hopped off the counter and landed squarely on Martin’s shoulders, where he gave a little kick with both heels. “H’ya! Giddy up!” “If you ‘hiya’ me again I’ll buck you off.” snorted Martin, turning his head to look at the sheepish dragon. Truth be told he wasn’t sure if he could without falling over, but either way the pest would get a spill. “Hiho Midnight, away?” “That’ll do.” They trotted - Martin trotted, Spike bounced - to the cafeteria. *** The cafe was empty - heck, the whole building was empty, apart from the skeleton crew of pastel ponies and desperately-seeking-Martin reporters. Martin’s stomach growled, as did Spike’s, “heh, guess you’re as hungry as I am?” “I haven’t eaten properly for days. Energy drinks and snacks.” “Mmm, snacks. I like a good glass of coke. I don’t know why you put that brown liquid in the bottles though, completely ruins the fine bouquet.” “You eat glass?” “Didn’t think I ate hay now, did you?” “I...don’t know.” “Silly! Dragons only eat hay when they’re on a diet.” said Pinkie, popping up behind a huge bowl of green salad. She somehow had a fishnet hat on which kept her bouyant, bouncy pink hair out of the way. She brandished a ladle, though Martin was completely unable to tell how, “what’ll I do you for?” “What’s...uh..good? For a pony I mean?” “Alfalfa sandwich, alfalfa smoothie, alfalfa salad and alfalfa surprise.” “Alfalfa surprise?” Pinkie grinned so wide he was quite sure she would burst, “surprise! It’s alfalfa.” Martin couldn’t help but smile, even through the corny joke, “okay, you win. Give me something you’d eat.” “Oooh nonononono, only a third-grade Pinkie-Dan can master sugar of that magnitude. I’ll give you something you would eat.” said Pinkie, and she ladled out a selection of carrots, grass, hay, dandelions, apple and salads. “That’s it? No sweet chili sauce? No fries?” “Well we could do you a mean fried hay burrito, but we’re out of sweet chili sauce...” Martin sighed, “I’ll give it a go...” Martin took the plate gingerely in his mouth after dropping it a few times back on the counter, still unused to the whole ‘no thumbs’ and oral dexterity issues ponies had, and placed it on a table. He looked forlornly at the chairs, and decided to stand. He could barely keep himself upright without wobbling as it is, he didn’t need to negotiate sitting too. He nibbled the carrots. He devoured the cucumber. The hay and grass...it was like...he couldn’t explain it well, not even to himself. A mixture of fruit juice flavour with the texture of salad-greens. It was delicious. He was surprised when he’d eaten it all. “That...that was...” “How was your first meal as a pony?” asked a voice behind him Martin answered, “oh, it was nothing like I expec- oh damn it! You tricked me.” “You tricked me first.” said the man, pointedly leaving his camera on the table, pointing the other way. “It wasn’t difficult,” Martin looked up at the human, realising the human looked...different to him than he would have before. He was a stranger, but...now he was a strange stranger. “Care to do an interview?” “Only if you don’t ruin it for everyone. I know how much you guys love a juicy story, but I don’t want to be turned into some three-page monstrous misanthrope.” “It’ll be hard, you turned your back on the human race.” “I guess I did,” Martin sat on his haunches and thought about it. “And?” “And what?” said Martin pointedly. “Any regrets?” prompted the reporter. “Nope. Look, I know you’ve got cameras up the wazoo here, heck you’re probably transmitting this live to your servers as we speak, it might even be on the hypernet already. I don’t want any payment, any deals other than don’t print lies about me or this place. You don’t have anything I want, not any more.” Martin thought a little, “You know, I think you could do the bravest, best story ever, and you could do it without me.” “Oh?” There was a hunger in the reporters eyes, Martin could see that. The same hunger he had felt - tempered somewhat by circumstance, but powerful and present all the same. Pickings were slim these days for humans. He had no doubt it would even out in the end, but before then a lot of good people would find themselves without a hoof to stand on. “You’re in the Conversion Bureau, you figure it out. An inside view, from the horses mouth as it were. Or the pony’s.” Martin looked pointedly towards the sign over the door that said ‘ponification station’. “How long?” asked Martin, eyes looking past the man in front of him, gaze firmly on the man he used to be not so long ago. With the right kind of eyes, he realised, you could see where the wave broke, and started to roll back, taking so much with it. So much. “For what?” asked the reporter, unused to being asked questions, much less by a talking pony. “How long before you’re replaced, like I was? They’ve got botnets now trawling for stories. There’ll always be reporters, but...only the best of the best or the lucky or more likely the cheap few will still be in the game. You could...sidestep all that. Become a pony.” “But...I like being a human!” said the surprised reporter. “Maybe, but you’d like a huge story more, wouldn’t you? I’m quite sure reporters are needed in Equestria, and with the right spin on it you could be the biggest news sensation this side of the shield too. The story of a lifetime. All yours. Exclusive. Forever. Nopony’s done it yet, news from the inside, from the front. You don’t want my little old slice of life, even if I were a standard dropout it’s not that big a deal. A few weeks, probably days, and I’ll just be a statistic, but you? A reporter, live from inside fabled Equestria...” Martin had him, he smiled and left, motioning for Spike and Pinkie to follow as the reporter stood up, dropped his camera in the bin and first knocked on and then opened the double doors, where a surprised Twilight was met coming the other way. Martin swept the floor later that day before bed, he had been the only visitor - Rarity was playing the physiotherapist for him and made him do all manner of menial chores. “After all,” she said, “who’ll be doing them for you when you get to Equestria? You’d better learn now whilst we can still help!” The staff played the game of “confound these reporters” well; Martin pretended to just be another ordinary pastel talking magical unicorn pony and eventually they lost interest. Dash however did not. “S-so, er Midnight was it?” “It’s as good a name as any. I think I’d sound silly as a pony called ‘Martin’ if you ask me.” “And...now you’re a unicorn.” “Sorry, Dash, I didn’t get to choose.” “With....with that rainbow mane and tail though,” she sounded like she was working up to something, “are you sure that...you’re not...inside...a little pegasus?” “Quite sure.” “Do you wanna be?” Martin did a double-take and dropped the brush from his mouth, it fell to the floor with a clatter. Rainbow Dash had the decency to look embarassed. “Did...did you just...” “Ohh...did I say it wrong? I...I worked on that for, like, ages. It was in this book and...” She looked so flustered it made him smile, “Dash, that was quite possibly the corniest pickup line I’ve ever heard!” “Aww...” “Dash, I’m...this morning I had two legs. Now I’ve got four. I...it’s not a good time. You’re sweet and when I’ve got used to the idea of...dating a pony...like you...ask again.” “You know, for an ex-knobbly-kneed monkey type, you’re not too bad lookin’, even if you aren’t a pegasus.” Rainbow zoomed off in a flash muttering to herself, "We all have a little Pegasus in us, Martin! Question is, do you want to be in a little pegasus...that’s what I should’a said...” *** * * * The Conversion Bureau Midnight’s Tail Part 2 - Hoofing It *** Part 1 - Hitting the Road Part 2 - Hoofing It Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road Part 6 - Epilogue *** An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3 Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe Original: Equestria Daily - Conversion Bureau *** Midnight rolled out of bed awkwardly and stood up, shaking his great shaggy head to clear it before stumbling over to the mirror to peer bleerily at his reflection. “So,” he said to himself, turning his head left and right, “unicorns have bed-hair too, bed mane I guess I should call it now? And a bad case of it. How am I supposed to brush it?” Just the day before, Midnight Shadow had been a human calling himself Martin Danielson, then everything had changed with a visit to The Conversion Bureau where talking, magical ponies from Equestria had turned him into a unicorn. Everything was going surprisingly well, but daily realities were setting in. Midnight put his hoof up to his mouth and breathed on it before inhaling through his two ample nostrils, checking for morning breath. It sent his eyes derping, “Bad morning breath too, huh? They’ve gotta have something for that...” He examined the room; the bed was a simple yet firm mattress on the floor, there was a single window with venetian blinds and a large, smooth bit for him to bite down on and manipulate now he had no thumbs. The light-switch was a big, nose-level push-button and there were what appeared to be two sinks for washing in. He eyed the fixture he’d thought was a toothbrush holder suspiciously. It was actually a toothbrush. “Cunning,” he said to himself, “now let’s see...” He picked up the tube of toothpaste from the larger sink in his mouth and looked at it in the mirror. It had no cap as such, just some sort of one-way valve. He wondered idly how they made them, whether they even had them in Equestria. Wild horses didn’t exactly brush their teeth, did ‘wild’ ponies? The brush was large and white, a simple yet hopefully effective device. He squeezed some toothpaste onto the bristles after a couple of tries with his lips, and then put the tube back carefully. Gingerly he put the brush in his mouth - it did indeed seem to be a normal toothbrush, fixed to the wall. He whipped his head back and forth carefully and built up a mouth full of foam. He made faces in the mirror trying to check if he’d got everything. It was then he realized there were no taps. He poked his head out of the dorm-room cautiously, it was early morning and he didn’t want to wake anypony up. Stomping through the dimly-lit complex he heard a familiar noise. Spike snoring in a kitty-basket behind the front desk. He’d been put on timeout since he’d stayed up late one too many times playing computer games and had been forbidden from the teamroom. “Spike!” hissed Midnight, “Psst! Wake up! SPIKE!” he nudged the dragon with a hoof insistently until the green and purple shape stirred suddenly. “Wha’? What’s that? Who’s thereaaaAAAARRRRGGHHH!” Spike hiccuped and a green flame shot out of his nostrils, illuminating the room for a brief second. “Oh..ouch..oh god..I’m blind...” there was a crash and a clatter as the startled Midnight knocked the pens and a potted plant off the desk as he stumbled about from sudden combustion of the eyebrows. “Martin? What the hell are you..? Why are you rabid?” the baby dragon poked Midnight in the muzzle pointedly. “I’m not rabid, I was brushing my teeth! And my name’s Midnight now. Midnight Shadow.” he blinked the stars away. “And? Why are you wandering about in the dark?” “I can’t find the taps!” he hissed. “Oh is that all? You woke my nap for that? Newfoals...come on, I’ll help. I guess you want to use the facilities too, huh? Did they show you how to do that even?” Come to think of it, Midnight did feel a little bit...bloated. He shook his head and blushed a little, sending flecks of foam flying through the air. Spike put his paws on his face and sighed, “Twi wrote the checklist, I made sure that was on it. Why me?” Back at Midnight’s dormitory, Spike pointed to the smaller of the two sinks, “I would have thought, with that big old brain of yours, you’d have spotted the pressure plate. Just...put your nose in there. Go on, push.” Midnight did so, and with a sudden gurgle, found water was welling up. He withdrew with a start, and the gurgling stopped. He slurped the water up and gargled...then looked gingerely at Spike. “The other sink. Surely you didn’t think we put two in by mistake?” The big sink was just sitting there, in a quietly porcelein way. Midnight spat, and then swirled a second lot of water and spat again, cleaning it. His breath was minty fresh and apart from the scorch marks he was looking good, “I guess the bed-mane will have to wait until Rarity can teach me how to brush it.” “I can help,” Spike hopped up onto Midnight’s back after grabbing a complimentary hairbrush from the cabinet, “start at the ends down here near the whithers, then move in to the base of the neck, then move up...and repeat...start at the ends...” “Oohh that’s nice...” Midnight closed his eyes, ears splaying out with happiness, a good brushing was something he’d never thought he’d enjoy. It was like a warm happy feeling spreading all the way down to his hooves. “Yeah, I always brush Twi’s mane. Rarity’s when she lets me..” said Spike happily, “Ah, Rarity...” Spike brushed extra tenderly, daydreaming. “...and now it feels weird again. Off.” Spike pouted, but hopped off, “Okay then, the facilities. This way...” *** Spike led the way through the complex, and pointed out at the garden, “Most of the staff just heads out ‘round the back. If you do you'll find the place." “Fragrant?” asked Midnight, arching an eyebrow. “I’ll say, they grow the biggest flowers with that stuff.” Midnight stopped for a second, and shook his head, that hadn’t been quite what he’d meant, “Well thanks, but no thanks. I’d prefer to use the indoor facilities if you please.” “If you say so, down this way then.” The dragon led the way through the complex, only the sound of hooves echoing through the empty cafeteria until they came to some doors marked ‘staff only’. “These are the only pony-ready facilities in the joint. I guess I’m lucky, I can make do with the human ones, but you big guys need heavier-duty gear. Not that they use ‘em. It’s through there...there’s never enough ponies at one time to need separate stalls.” Midnight looked at the doors, there were three - male, female, and pony. Walking in, the place was spotless and looked unused. He remembered it probably was. There was what looked like a urinal on one wall, but it was huge with odd fixtures and a much larger hole than he’d expected. “This the thing?” he called out to Spike, eyeing it suspiciously. “Probably! It’s not like I can see it you know!” called the dragon through the door, “You put your butt up against it, get your tail out the way and let fly. It’s got a special...I’m not sure what humans call it...” With some issues maneuvering, Midnight did so. He felt very, very self-conscious but eventually felt quite relieved, “Now what?” he called out. “Well...there’s a kind of...button on the floor. Push it -” Spike was about to continue with the words ‘very, very carefully’ when there was a loud, girlish shriek and a wild-eyed Midnight came barrelling out the door, eyes rolling and wide. “I...tried to warn you.” “Warn me faster...warn faster next time...and the word you were looking for was bidet...the next pony who gets that treatment may not be so kind...I’m going to go lie down now...” Midnight’s speech was strangely high-pitched and urgent and he was breathing heavily, but at least you could say he was clean, “We shall never speak of this again. Ever.” As Midnight wobbled unsteadily down the corridor with the dragon once again on his back, the staff members were waking up from all the loud noises. He trotted past them all nonchalantly except for one. On seeing Rarity the unicorn, Midnight stopped with a double-take. Her entire muzzle was green; green mud-like substance covered her up to her ears, and cucumbers were somehow balanced over her eyes. There were curlers. “I’ll have you know,” said Rarity, as she heard the hoofsteps die away in front of her, “that beauty like this requires work.” and she turned around in a huff and went back to her room, tail and head held high. “So much for bed.” said Midnight as he noted the corridor rapidly filling with ponies. “Bed?” asked a friendly voice from behind him, he turned to see a yawning Twilight, “I swear you’re as bad as my Spike.” “I resent that!” piped up Spike from Midnight’s back. “If the horse-shoe fits.” said Twilight under her breath, grinning. “I don’t even wear shoes!” complained Spike, folding his arms across his chest, “Especially not horse-shoes!” Midnight turned and started walking away, “Come on Spike, I need to do something and I may need your help.” “Me?” asked the dragon, “What in Equestria do you need me for?” “Thumbs, just in case. We’re going on a short trip outside.” *** Midnight and Spike were chattering about the differences between Equestria and Earth - they shared the same space but had very different mores and customs, not that human culture was entirely uniform. “I’m impressed with your name-choice, Midnight. Very modern of you.” “Huh? How come?” “Well, it’s gender neutral, but traditionally related to the moon, and Princess Luna, and...er...well...she’s related to foaling...” “Are you saying ‘Midnight’ is a girl’s name?” “I..ah..it’s not quite that simple, I mean...I learn a lot of this from Twilight and her books, and...and...you know, nopony really agrees exactly with all of it, and it’s all down to parental choice and the subtle nuances...” Spike babbled on at length before Midnight stopped him. “Spike! Is it?” Spikes ears drooped, “Kinda?” Midnight sighed, stopping in the harsh morning sunlight, “Really? It’s a girl’s name?” “Sorry bro.” He sighed again and continued walking, “Too late to change it, I guess. Anyway, we’re here.” “Where?” Spike, still ensconced on Midnight’s back, looked all around and up and down, they hadn’t walked far from the centre and seemed to be nowhere special. “A ‘Hole in the Wall’ as we call them, there’s not too many left these days. Ever since being ponified, my implant stopped working. Without it, I need some other way to access my bank account.” Midnight pointed with his horn at a booth, “These can be voice-activated. I hope it’ll recognize me. If it doesn’t, that’s where you come in. I have a passcode I can try instead but I’m going to have trouble pushing the buttons.” “Your implant is toast, if it’s still even there,” Spike rolled his eyes and twiddled a claw at his temple, “something about the ponification process knocks ‘em out. Twilight won’t let me get one.” “I’m not sure you could if she’d let you, they’re made for humans.” he turned the booth, “Station, activate - citizen Danielson, Martin, requesting voice confirm.” “Voice Ident unsuccessful, Visual Ident unsuccessful.” the machine answered in a smooth, disinterested timbre. Spike’s mouth dropped open and his eyes shone. For better or worse, the little dragon loved the cool gadgets that populated Earth. Midnight swore, “er, station, citizen Danielson, Martin has undergone radical...surgery...requesting retinal scan, compensate for size differential, weight differential and voice tone.” “Scanning...surgical changes compensated for. Pattern matched. Welcome, Citizen.” “Oh thank goodness. I was thinking we’d have to go to my apartment...” Spike looked entirely too unhappy with the success, thought Midnight, but he didn’t really fancy trying to pull all the seats out of his car and overriding the guidance computer to let them travel with no seatbelts. “Spike, do you guys have a...an account? I mean I don’t have much but it’s the last thing standing in my way. Call it a token gesture, but I want to step into Equestria shod of my past life.” “I...I have an account!” said Spike hopefully “I tell you what, I’ll send you my computer games, IF you promise not to play them past ten at night.” “Awww...” “and I’ll sweeten the deal with my sixty-inch flatscreen and the holoprojector.” “Sweet!” “I’ll make sure Twilight knows the deal.” “Well that’s no fair.” grumbled the dragon, crossing his paws over his chest and pouting, a little green flame shooting from his mouth. Midnight, using his old name and old persona for what he hoped was the last time in his life, closed up shop. He ordered everything useful to the Conversion Bureau sent to their address, liquidated the rest and transferred the funds to the organization behind them. For an entire life’s work, it was distressingly small. In a strange way though, it helped him make that last step. He really wouldn’t be missed. When he turned around, he was surprised to find two men lurking furtively in an alcove of a closed-up shop. “Gimme yer money.” said one, and the other brandished something that might have been a knife, or a piece of poly-plastic Midnight was taken aback, he knew things were bad but...that bad? “I...does it look like I have pockets in this thing? I don’t have any money to give to you, what would I do with it?” “We heard you, pony, shuttling money about. Your Bureaus are loaded. We want some. Give us a few thousand and we’ll reconsider selling your skin.” “I was getting rid of it and you’re too late, it’s gone.” Spike tensed on Midnight’s back and stood up, holding on to the unicorn’s mane with one claw and pointing at the nearest speaker, “Buddy, you are messing with the wrong pony. This here is Midnight Shadow. I saw him turn a griffon inside out once when he knocked over his drink and refused to pay for a refill. He was thrown out of a dragon’s gambling den for tearing the wings off my cousin, he only made it alive out because I promised to serve Midnight for a year.” “This...you...” the men looked less sure of themselves, glancing at each other. “What the hell are you doing?” hissed Midnight, not taking his eyes off the pair of would-be robbers in front of him. He lowered his horn threateningly, weaving it to and fro. “Make your horn glow!” hissed Spike in Midnight’s ear. “What?” whispered Midnight back, heart beating so loud he could barely hear what the dragon had said. “I said make your horn glow, now!” the dragon turned to the two men again, speaking loudly, “You like having two arms each huh? Well if you don’t get outta here my buddy Midnight’s going to give you wings and a beak - he don’t eat chicken, but I do...” Midnight concentrated, remembering his tongue, but this time concentrating on a simple light-show. To his immense satisfaction, his horn apparently caught on fire with a green, baleful glow. He gritted his teeth and set his shoulders, mumbling nonsense words under his breath just loud enough for the pair to hear as he eyed both the men. That was enough. They dropped their makeshift weapons and fled. When they were gone, Spike all but fell off laughing, “Oh Midnight that was awesome.” “Be that as it may, we gotta get out of here incase they come back.” Midnight was almost shaking. “I suppose I’d better tell Twilight, can’t be having ruffians like that scaring away the customers.” “Where’d you learn to bluff like that?” Midnight asked as they hot-hoofed it back to the centre. “Bluff nothing, you could take ‘em, but those stories? Long story itself. Back in Ponyville there was this unicorn filly called Trixie, she liked to show off a lot. One day, Twilight...” They headed back to the Conversion Bureau, Midnight’s task complete. *** Before the pair could head through the doors, they were almost bowled over by a blue-and-rainbow blur speeding out the other way, Rainbow Dash had her pilots goggles on and was moving at breakneck speed. She spun around them and did a barrel roll before pulling up short and hovering in front of them, “Oh dammit!” Dash looked conspiratorially left and right, “You...you won’t tell on me will you? I’ve been cooped up in there for days and my wings are gonna shrivel off if I don’t see some action! Tell Twi’ ya missed me. Later stud.” She disappeared into the air humming, “getting off the reservation, yeah-la la la laaa la...skippin’ out on Twilight, oh-yeah haha haa haa...” Midnight and Spike exchanged glances and headed in. “Did you see Rainbow Dash?” asked Rarity, innocently, once again working at the reception, “we sent her out to find you, you were getting distressingly close to missing your appointment.” “I...er...must’ve missed her.” “There are lots of windows you know,” said Twilight with a smug smile, “but we don’t need Dash, we need you. Celestia wants to see you and you need to start your orientation.” “What’s a Celestia?” Twilight hung her head, “Nopony told him? Anypony? No? I swear, first and last time...Celestia. Princess Celestia. She’s our ruler.” “Wait...I thought I heard Princess Luna mentioned? Don’t you have a queen?” “No, we don’t have any queens. Just two princesses. Celestia is the elder of the two and raises the sun every morning. Luna is the younger, and raises the moon.” “But...the sun and moon...” Midnight made circular motions with his hooves. “It’s complicated,” said Twilight finally, “but more importantly, you’ll be late if you don’t get ready now.” “Late for what?” Midnight stepped backwards, unsure at all the sudden smiles. “You’re being shipped outta here, silly! To Equestria!” Pinkie bounced in, “As much as we just love having a newfoal around, our replacements are coming and we’re starting to get enquiries.” Pinkie bounced happily again, and then skidded to a stop, “The only problem is I never had the chance for a party.” “Aww, Pinkie Pie, we can party some other time, I’m sure.” “Oh that’s right! You’re headed to Ponyville! I shouldn’t have looked but I peeked! Promise you’ll stay long enough? I get a week off of greeting newfoals and arranging rebirthday parties and stuff and I’d just love a chance to give you a party too!” Midnight wasn’t sure he could withstand that much party, but he nodded. Rarity was next saying goodbye. She simply gave him a quick neck-hug and sniffed quietly. Pinkie Pie kissed him on the nose and Fluttershy squeaked something that sounded like ‘goodbye’. Spike hugged a leg, and scampered off. “I know Dash’ll be mad, but she made her choice.” said Twilight, sadly. “You shouldn’t keep her cooped up here that much, Twilight,” said Midnight gently, remembering the glow the pegasus had had when flitting about freely in the air, “we each need to be in our own element.” “If you’ve learnt that, Midnight, then you really do need to visit Equestria. Come on, out the back to the loading bay. Follow me please. Our other convert is already waiting.” “Other convert? Bu-but I thought I was the first one?” “You were, but not the only. We just finished with him.” “Him? Oh no, you didn’t...he didn’t...” “They did. Check it out I’m a pony! I don’t get why I like it, but I like it! And double-check it, cutie-mark!” Midnight looked, there on the flank of the light-brown earth pony with the dark-brown mane and dark, deep eyes, was a fedora. A fedora with an old-fashioned press-pass sticking out the brim no less. It was then that something clicked; stars, balloons, lightning bolts, butterflies - they all had marks on their flanks. He turned to his own in disappointment, he was still the same blank dark purple-blue he had been before, “but...how...” “We don’t know, to be honest. I’ve never seen another newfoal pop out with a cutie-mark. Some don’t take long, but this guy...it was just there.” “That’s obvious,” said the pony, “a pony’s cutie-mark reflects his life’s ambition, his life’s work.” “And you know what yours is.” said Midnight, raising an eyebrow and flicking his ears. “Damn straight, kid. I’m a reporter. Always was, always will be. funny thing though, they haven’t made these things in...it’s gotta be close on a hundred years?” He pointed with his hoof at the fedora and then back at Twilight, “did I put it there? Did they?” Twilight smiled, “Something to ask when you get to Equestria. Your carriage awaits.” A large animal-transport truck pulled up, belching smoke. It was a diesel, converted long ago to run on bio-fuel but never really patched up. Diesel was cheap and easy to produce; for all the laws enacted around consumer vehicles, diesel was one of the few remaining fuels able to cope with long haul trips with significant freight. When the engine turned off, the large, sturdy tailgate was eased down and in the murky darkness was heard a stamping of hooves and the swishing of tails, “I know it’s not the best, but...we’re trying to make you incognito for as long as possible. Newfoals are still rare enough that you could get swamped. Just your car being parked here the other day, Midnight, was enough to alert the local media...they must have had a...thingy...” “A botnet?” asked Midnight, glancing at the earth pony, who nodded imperceptibly. “One of them things. As much as we’re pleased you decided to join us, we want your transition to be smooth - and being mobbed at every rest-stop between here and Equestria won’t do at all.” “So we’re travelling with normal terran ponies?” “We’re not all normal terran ponies in here.” came a new voice, and a yellowish-orange pegasus pony stepped carefully out of the back of the truck, stretching her wings, her dark red mane and tail glistening in the light, the orange streaks catching in the sun, “Hi! Are you two both newfoals like me and Ad..I mean Cobalt, here? I mean it’s pretty hard to tell.” A dark-grey, slate-grey even, earth-pony with a jet black mane and deep hazel-brown eyes also stepped into the light, looking around with interest. It soon faded when he realised that one loading bay was much like the other. Midnight noted that neither had cutie-marks, it made him feel a little bit better. He had started to feel awkward being the only one with a blank flank. “Cobalt?” asked Midnight, snapping out of his reverie, “but...you’re not blue.” Cobalt gave Midnight an embarassed look and stomped back into the truck, “I thought it was neat.” he said from the shadows. “Come on, let’s move out.” Midnight, the reporter who still hadn’t given his name, if he even has one yet, mister ‘I got a cutie-mark in ten seconds flat’, thought Midnight to himself, and the two new ponies made themselves as comfortable as possible on the ample straw in the close, equine-filled darkness and tried to relax as the vehicle moved off. * * * The Conversion Bureau Midnight’s Tail Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor *** Part 1 - Hitting the Road Part 2 - Hoofing It Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road Part 6 - Epilogue *** An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3 Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe Original: Equestria Daily - Conversion Bureau *** “We’re on the road again, travellin’ places that we’ve never been...” sang Peachy Punch tunelessly as she looked out the back of the truck wistfully. “Oh shush.” said Cobalt, “you’ve been reciting that damn ditty for the last three hours straight.” “You’re only mad, Cobalt,” said Peachy, “because you don’t know the words.” “Neither do you! And maybe my name’s not Cobalt any more. Maybe it’s...maybe it’s...” “Come on guys,” said Midnight, “we’re all ponies here. No need to be at each other’s throats.” Peachy Punch hummed the same tune, or tried to, until Cobalt stared at her. She stuck her tongue out, “I’m just so bored,” said Peachy, “I want to stretch my wings! I want to feel grass beneath my hooves, not filthy straw.” “It wouldn’t be filthy if you could contain yourself!” hissed Cobalt. “Hey! It’s not my fault I get car-sick! Besides, it’s not all me, it’s those...those natives over there. They don’t seem to care where they go...” “They’ve never had to,” mused Midnight, “it’s not like you can blame them. I don’t think it matters so much to Equestrians either.” “Well forgive me if I don’t just-” “My little ponies! You’re at it again! Chill! Why can’t you be more like mister frontpage over there?” Midnight pointed with a hoof at the reporter, so far nameless, who was snoring loudly curled up like he’d been a pony all his life. “Because I hate car rides, I hate hay and I hate ponies.” grumped Cobalt. Midnight blinked, even Peachy Punch looked upset, “but...why? Why did you go through with ponification if you hate ponies?” Cobalt looked at the ground as the truck swayed and mumbled something. “I...I didn’t quite hear that.” Midnight said. “I don’t hate ponies, okay! I said being an earth pony sucks! I don’t get wings, I don’t get magic. I lost my thumbs. What the hell does that make me?” “It makes you a pony, dude. A pony like the rest of us. Whatever makes you you, it made you an earth-pony. I mean come on, you’re gorgeous!” said Peachy Punch, before realising what she’d said and blushing furiously, “I mean...” “You really think so?” asked Cobalt, looking himself over. “I mean, sure...the lights pretty bad in here so that may have something to do with i- OW!” Midnight flicked Peachy with his tail, “Tell him the truth.” Peachy looked intently at the ceiling, then the walls, then swirled a hoof around idly and mumbled, “You...you look pretty neat. For a pony. Which I am too, and, uh...” Cobalt opened his mouth to say something, and then shut it again. He finally bent his head to one of the water troughs and took a loud slurp trying to hide the blush. Just then the van rocked to a stop and Cobalt ended up coughing and spluttering. After a few moments of the engine being shut off and the doors opened and slammed, the rear tail-gate was let down and daylight flooded the compartment. “You guys want to come out? Stretch your legs? Union rules when transporting livestock - sorry - we have a half hour break every few hours. If you think you can get yourselves and the other ponies back in you can come out for a trot around the corral.” Midnight was the first to poke his head out, joined pretty quickly by Peachy Punch and Cobalt. It was getting crowded on the loader-ramp so Midnight turned, to find a whole stampede of ponies rushing towards him. He flinched and suddenly there was a bright blue flash. What appeared to be a soap-bubble surrounded the trio of pastel ponies, and the normal ponies which were rushing past were flowing around them harmlessly. It was over in seconds and the soap-bubble burst, Midnight fell to his knees breathing heavily. “What was..? How did you..? What did you do?” “I...I don’t know! I’m a unicorn, I did magic, I guess! I...I just...did it. They were coming right for us and I panicked...” Cobalt cocked his head, “What does it feel like?” Midnight licked his lips and peered at his horn, eyes crossing, “Like a headache that doesn’t hurt. Like pumping iron, sort of. It’s...kind of like a hand you don’t have, you can feel what it does but not what it is.” He stood up again, breathing heavily, he felt very strange and right now needed nothing more than breathing space. “You okay?” asked Peachy Punch, nudging the dazed unicorn with a hoof. “Yeah, I’m just pooped. I don’t think I’m cut out for doing magic. It feels like I just ran a marathon.” “But unicorns...don’t they do magic all the time?” “I dunno, I get the feeling only some of us are good at magic magic, like only if it’s your talent, your cutie-mark you know? The rest of us...I think it’s just a sideline.” “That’s stupid,” said Peachy Punch, “that’s like a pegasus that can’t fly.” “No, no, he’s got a point,” said Cobalt, tapping his mouth with a hoof, “humans can all run, right? But very few of them are olympic sprinters or joggers. Flying is what you do if you’re a pegasus, magic is what you are when you’re a unicorn. Or something.” “Guess we’re not so different then, huh? Peachy’s the lucky one, she can fly.” “I wish. I got flight-school one-oh-one but I’m still a newfoal.” “Can I quote you guys on that?” asked the reporter-pony, looking disgustingly well rested and collected as he walked up behind them. Midnight snorted, “already out to score the big scoop huh?” The reporter rolled his eyes, “Don’t be so cynical, this was all your idea, if you recall. My life is the big scoop! This is fantastic! I love being a pony!” The reporter whinnied happily and galloped flat-out into the fenced-off field where he shot off at breakneck speed around the perimeter, causing another mini-stampede with the ‘normal’ ponies. “I think I hate him.” said Midnight, scowling, jealous of the ease with which the reporter was taking to having hooves and a tail. “Cheer up, sport,” said Peachy Punch, flicking her tail at him and grinning, “kick back a little, stretch your legs. You’re too busy brooding if you ask me. You’re a pony now! You can eat grass, run like the wind, live where you please.” Peachy trotted off happily, bucking her hind hooves and flicking her tail and wings with laughter, finally chasing after the reporter for the fun of it. Spreading her wings she hopped and skipped into the air experimentally, bouncing off the fence and almost crashing into the ground before recovering and trying again. Midnight smiled despite himself. “She’s something, ain’t she?” asked Cobalt “Mmmhm.” said Midnight, not really listening. “You think somepony like her could...like somepony like me?” “I..wait, what? She’s a pony!” Cobalt snorted and flicked a tail. Midnight’s rump was getting sore from all the attention, “If you haven’t noticed, so am I. So are you! Those slim legs...such dainty hooves. And her wings...I could get lost in those wings. But...do pegasus and earth-ponies..?” Midnight blinked, “I...I guess so? I mean there was this pegasus, back at the bureau...Rainbow something. Same hair as mine. She was pretty cute.” “You sly dog. What happened?” Midnight blushed, “I...I kinda turned her down. It felt weird, thinking about a pony like that...” “You’re going to be one lonely pony if you don’t get over it. Come on, I’ll race ya.” They ran. They raced. They bucked. It was great to be out in the fresh air. It amused them no end that it was the humans that had to clean out their stalls whilst they had to do naught but run and play in the sunshine. They finally stopped, as a group, just standing and watching the world go by in the few minutes they had left. The reporter dropped his head to the side of the enclosure and cropped at some grass. “Eew...” said Midnight. “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,” said the reporter, “it’s pretty good, I doubt the lead content will hurt.” “I’ll take your word for it, uh...say, what do we call you anyway?” The reporter chewed thoughtfully and swallowed, “I haven’t come up with a name yet. Whatever it is...bam...frontpage. Above the fold.” “Frontpage?” asked Peachy Punch, trotting closer, “Suits you.” “That’s not what I meant!” “Suits you though.” “Frontpage? Frontpage. Huh. Well alrighty then.” They mingled, Midnight couldn’t help but notice that Cobalt was keeping the other natives - their word for normal Terran ponies - away from Peachy. He wasn’t sure if Cobalt knew it himself yet, but a small smile played on his lips. “Look Daddy! Horsies!” came a voice, a small girl, maybe six, maybe seven - Midnight realised he was finding it hard to judge ages in humans, not that he’d ever been good at it. “You wanna go see the horsies, princess?” asked a gruff voice, and Midnight watched as a heavy-set man gently pushed his little girl towards the fence separating their world from his. She had a bunch of weeds - no, tasty hors d’oeuvres he corrected himself - and was hopefully holding them out, trying to catch the attention of the wary natives whilst he watched with less than half an eye. Midnight wandered over thoughtfully, it was strange, like looking in a fun-house mirror. She smiled and waved them at him. He bent carefully and plucked a few from her unresisting fingers, chewing slowly. Neither she nor her father realised what the ponies really were despite his odd colouration and pearly horn, Midnight guessed that the ponies from Equestria just weren’t common enough yet for the pair to put two and two together, but still... “Buh bye pony!” called the girl and stroked Midnight’s nose. He nickered softly as the pair left, the daughter hoisted onto her father’s shoulders. Midnight waved a hoof goodbye, the girl’s eyes went round as saucers, but Midnight turned quickly with a grin and trotted away before she could alert her father. Midnight trotted back to the van where the other ponies were following Cobalt, who had somehow managed to make himself their de-facto herd-leader despite his obvious disdain for them. Midnight laughed to himself as the tail-gate was raised and the great heavy engine started up again. With a final two slaps on the back from the navigator, they were off. They made several stops and drove on into the night. It was tiring, it was cramped - he was sure it would have been worse on any other load with natives - and they had little to pass the time. Not even tying the strings from bales of hay to the walls to create makeshift instruments couldn’t relieve the boredom. Finally they stopped for the night, they were about an hour from their destination but union rules were union rules, and backed up by union people. Things would get ugly if rules weren’t stuck to, so they pulled over. Peachy had had enough of the van. Cobalt, with a streak of chivalry a mile wide, decided to sleep outside with her. Midnight was jealous, both of them had the hang of the whole ‘sleeping standing up’ deal. He didn’t know how they managed it. It irked him even more that Frontpage just curled up without a second thought and drifted off. Insomnia. He hated it. He’d spent the whole day doing nothing. That was the problem. He’d not imagined that ponies could have the same problem. “Maybe I’ll just...go for a run. Yeah. S’not cold, air quality is better near the coast...” He clopped carefully down the ramp and ambled past the herd. Cobalt and Peachy seemed to be sleeping with their necks entwined, Peachy’s wing over the earth-pony somewhat protectively. Midnight snorted, just as long as none of the natives followed him he’d be fine. The ones that weren’t dozing didn’t seem too interested. Herdmind behaviour had them, breaking from the group was a taboo. Further into the countryside was just scrub and brushland, the moon wasn’t full but the sky was clear. He picked up his pace, from a basic trot, to a canter and finally to a full gallop. As his hooves flew over the uneven ground he exulted in a sense of freedom he’d never experienced before. Why, he wondered to himself, had he never felt like this before? His friends had often spoken of just how good they felt after a run. He hadn’t believed them. Now, grudgingly, he did. When he ran out of scrub and found himself nearing another road he reluctantly slowed back down to a walk. He was breathing heavily but wasn’t winded. He felt alive, he felt- His ears pricked up, something was wrong. He trotted up and down the roadside, out of sight of the traffic, flashing his tail unconsciously. He couldn’t get the idea out of his head that something or someone was... A rope flashed out of the darkness and looped over his head, pulling tight against his neck. He reared up instinctively and kicked first his front legs and then hind hooves as he pulled against the taught cable. He was caught fast! He pulled hard, hard as he could, but it only tightened the noose. It wasn’t strangling him, not that it mattered through his panic, but it was restricting his breathing. He saw stars, stumbled, fell. In moments they were on him, three men - he assumed they were men from their deep voices - holding him down, fighting to keep his legs in check as a fourth, the rope-wielder, made a quick but effective bridle. They hobbled him with two more ropes and then a greasy hand twisted his ear and a harsh voice said, “I’m going to get off now, trigger, and you’re going to get up, real slow and easy.” They did so and, awkwardly, Midnight got to his feet. He hadn’t spoken yet, but they forced his hoof. “We’re going to take a little walk, just the five of us. We’ve got a van waiting that’s big enough for you and your other little friend we found all alone in that big old trailer.” “You better not hurt him,” said Midnight, clearing his throat, “You must know what this horn means. I can turn you inside out at a moments notice.” The man stopped and turned, flashing a piece in the moonlight secreted in a jacket pocket, “a moment’s all I’ll need to put a bullet through your brain.” “Just so we understand each other,” Midnight gambled, “it’s just me an him with a bunch of natives, hiding us out on the way to Equestria, trying to avoid people like you obviously.” “Aye, we got your friend. You didn’t do too good a job.” They walked him slowly and carefully, surrounded on all sides by a solemn quiet figure, until they reached a van much like the one he’d been travelling in, but a good deal smaller. Just about big enough for two full-sized horses, or two ponies and two guards. Midnight flicked his tail in anger as he noted Frontpage - that’s who he assumed it was in the now near-pitch black night lit only occasionally by passing cars and a very dim flashlight brandished by one of the thugs - hobbled, hooded and tied to a stumpy tree. “FP, it’s me, we’re safe...kinda.” “Midnight, that you?” “Yeah, they got me too. They left the natives all back there, it was us two they wanted.” he prayed Frontpage would get the hint and not mention the other two transformees. “That’s right my little ponies, and now the whole gang is here we’re going to move very slowly and carefully into the van. Don’t make with any funny stuff, you got me?” “Crystal,” said Frontpage, “I’ve been taken hostage before. I know the drill. We’ll co-operate, for now. Where are you taking us?” “If you don’t shut up it’ll be the glue factory, but you’re in luck. We want to go to Equestria.” Midnight blinked, he’d had the short, short version of the talk from Twilight Sparkle the purple unicorn the day before, and whilst it seemed like forever ago the memory was still fresh and clear. Humans couldn’t go to Equestria, it just wasn’t possible. Didn’t these idiots know that? “Now now, I’ve heard all the talk about the shield, keeping us out, but the way I see it that’s bullshit. They’ve given you a code to let you in, some way to lower the shield. We want it. I hear there’s gold in ancient dragon’s caves, diamonds in the rivers, riches just for the taking, you damned ponies don’t need any of it, and we want our fair share.” Midnight thought quickly and opened his mouth, but Frontpage beat him to it, “How...how did you know about the code? We, we weren’t supposed to tell it to anypony! It’s a secret!” “Oh we have our ways,” said the ringleader, signaling to his men to finish up and move out. By now the two ponies were in the trailer-section, cowering on the floor, still hobbled and Frontpage atleast was hooded, unable to see. The van moved off at speed, into the night. Not much was being said. Every so often Midnight would touch Frontpage with a mouth to his mane to let him know he was still there, and the earth pony would flick a tail in response. The men behind them were sat down, warily watching the two pastel equines. Midnight tried to engage them in conversation, all the while listening out for rescue, “How do you plan to get to Equestria? I mean it’s...it’s way out in the ocean! That shield is the only non-guarded and perfect no-fly-zone on the planet. It even screws with our satellites since it’s grown so big.” “Quiet, we don’t fraternize with livestock.” “You’ll have to if you want that code,” said Frontpage, lifting his head blindly and staring about through the blindfold, attempting to catch even a glimpse of his captors, “We can’t just give it to you, and they’ll know if we’re harmed or injured. You touch us, you’ll never get in.” “That’s as maybe, but we’re almost there. No funny business. You transmit that code, we slip through, and maybe we’ll let you live.” “Just...just don’t hurt us.” said Frontpage. The van sped up, “We’re close, boss.” said the driver, leaning to the grill, “first roadblock’s ahead.” “Good, it guarded?” “Naa, those dumb fuckers don’t bother. Sweetness and light, they are.” The van rocked as it broke through a flimsy barrier. Midnight twitched. He was a unicorn, for all he was a newfoal. The barrier was big, quite possibly the biggest single force of magic on the planet, and they were drawing ever closer with every second. His heart began to tingle, an uncomfortable feeling like static washed over him, he could swear his fur was standing on end and wouldn’t have been surprised had blue sparks shot from his nostrils. “Guys, stop...I...I can’t get you through the shield.” There was a second crash and the van lurched, they’d gone over wheel-spikes, puncturing the tyres. The van began to lurch left and right, throwing the two ponies about. “What the fuck do you mean, metwurst? Are you fucking us about?” “I mean there’s no fucking code, man, it’s bullshit. I can’t take you through.” “You’ll take us, or your friend is dogmeat.” Midnight gasped, “No! No! Please! Okay, okay!” he was frantic now, the triumphant look on the thug’s face as he brandished the firearm was manic, he was capable of anything. Midnight took a deep breath, “Okay Frontpage, just like we rehearsed it. I...I’ll do the opening spell, okay? You have to help me...I...I’m going to start glowing now, that’s normal, it-it’s the spell, doing it’s thing.” The uncomfortable static-cling feeling was making him feel sick and nauseous, but he welcomed it. With every passing second they neared the shield, he would have to be quick enough but not too quick. He closed his eyes and started concentrating, breathing deep. Just remember, he told himself, remember what it was like in the van before, with the stampede. His horn started glowing, which elucidated a string of swear words and a gun cocking. “Please stop,” said Midnight, straining, “I told you, this is normal. What can I possibly do to you, huh? You’re sitting there with a gun...” Please, please, please, thought Midnight, let me be right. Aloud, he said, “Okay Frontpage, close your eyes, this is going to get a bit bumpy...” Push the field, feel the invislble hand, reach out, take a breath, push more... it was quite unlike anything he had ever done before, and he wasn’t sure he could make it last long enough, he had no idea how far away they were, how fast they were travelling, quite what would... He gasped almost in pain, the shield, that mammoth magical construct was mere metres away, “hold on Frontpage, the shit’s about to hit-” The van lurched and Midnight instinctively squeezed his eyes tight shut as inside his head fireworks went off. It felt like the world was turned inside out as the van intercepted the leading edge of the shield. It took him a few moments to realize that the vertigo wasn’t all his imagination as four hollow explosions rocked the van and he felt it tip over at speed, tumbling through the air with a sickening velocity. He and Frontpage were thrown roughly around and around as the van tumbled, his magical shield somewhat protecting them from the worst of the impacts as finally, mercifully, the van came to rest on it’s side with a solid and final-sounding crunch. The strength left the dazed unicorn and his shield flickered and failed, and he passed out. Nopony moved for a good ten seconds, there were no sounds from the wrecked van but ragged breathing in the strangely foggy, wet air before the earth pony called out, “Midnight? You alive?” “I don’t think it’d hurt this much if I weren’t.” “I think we’ve stopped. I can’t see, what did you do?” Frontpage was struggling to get up in the strangely slick, topsy-turvy world of semi-darkness. “Magic, I did magic,” said the exhausted unicorn, “I can barely move, I’d hoped it would have gotten easier...ow...I think I cracked a rib...” “Can you get this hood off?” “I can try...” Midnight bit at the cloth, ripped and pulled until the earth-pony got himself free. He whistled through his teeth, “Keep your eyes closed and breath carefully through your nose, I’ll get us out.” The van was wrecked and ominously silent. The inside of the van was strangely slick and warm, like sitting in a steam room - only cooler. Frontpage felt his hooves slipping and sliding as they lacked purchase, but he finally found the back door of the van and using lips but grimacing at the wet, lukewarm metallic taste, he tried to ease back the bolts. They wouldn’t budge so he set himself as firmly as he could and bucked until something gave, whereupon he forced himself out into the faint sunlight of early morning, turning around and pulling Midnight by the rope between his backlegs until he too fell out into the road. Midnight spat and opened his eyes. For a brief moment his vision settled on the inside of their recent mobile prison before turned his head and retched. “Get...let’s get this shit off, let’s get away from here.” When Midnight felt he could stomach the sight, he did so, not using magic - he wasn’t sure if he could right now - instead his horn and teeth to tear off the now-slick ropes. The inside of the van was red, like it had been spray-painted with ketchup, more oozing through the badly-dented partition wall between the drivers’ compartment and the stock compartment. The rear walls were dented also, like two large objects had impacted the walls and ceiling. “that’s them, isn’t it?” Midnight, turning green, said softly, “I think so. The shield’s not just for show. It let us through, it let the van through...” “But not the humans.” When the van had barrelled through the barrier, it had done its job simply and effectively. No living human could pass through the barrier. The van hadn’t been so impeded, neither had the ponies, and finally it came down to a classic application of force. When the hapless humans had attempted to gain entry, the shield had resisted their forward motion and the van hadn’t let them stop. The result was chunky human salsa, and the two ponies were covered in it. Midnight threw up again and dropped to his knees, spitting the taste of blood and pureed person out. The uncomfortably-warm concoction was rapidly starting to smell like a charnel house, not to mention cool off and mat his fur. “I’ve...I’ve gotta get this off...oh shit...oh fuck me...” Midnight was beginning to hyperventilate, which didn’t help. “Shh, Midnight, calm, calm down. It’s okay, you did what you had to do. You tried to warn them and you couldn’t have stopped either them or the shield. It’ll be a short walk down the road to the beach if I remember the route they showed us, it’s not far, come on, you can make it.” Midnight got up, breathing hard, unsteady on legs that felt like rubber, slick with gore, and the pair walked down the hill around the short bend in the road. The hill was steep and ended rather abruptly with the sound of surf. The water was cold but not freezing as they waded in, submerging themselves in the ocean, renewing their spirits as it washed off their pelts. Midnight stepped out and shook himself dry to stand shivering and steaming in the early morning sun, his first sunrise in Equestria. He just wished it hadn’t taken a blood sacrifice to make it a reality. He idly wondered where Peachy and Cobalt were, they were going to be frantic... * * * The Conversion Bureau Midnight’s Tail Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track *** Part 1 - Hitting the Road Part 2 - Hoofing It Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road Part 6 - Epilogue Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3 Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe Original: Equestria Daily - Conversion Bureau Author’s Note: This chapter has some ruminations on the nature of Equestria and the Shield. I feel it necessary to potentially diverge from Blaze’s universe here (I don’t know if it’s canon because it’s never been addressed). Just an FYI. It’s also shorter than the others, sorry! PPS: please tell me if you find spelling or grammar mistakes... *** Peachy groaned and shook her head at the insistent prodding, opening tired eyes and blinking them several times. It wasn’t even morning! It was pitch black! “Wha’? What?” “Wake up, lass, we’ve got problems. You too my good pony.” The voice was one of the two drivers, carrying a lantern and gingerly yet insistently shaking Cobalt until he too woke up from his slumber. Peachy stretched her wings right out, and then her forehooves and back legs one by one, followed by her tail. She creaked. Sleeping upright was going to take some getting used to. Then her brain registered what she was being told, “Wait, problems? What problems?” “Your two friends are gone, but I don’t think they went for a walkabout.” “Gone? Whaddaya mean ‘gone’?” Cobalt blinked in the lantern-light and trotted over to the van, sniffing, “I’m no bloodhound, but there were humans here, in addition to you two.” added Cobalt, “You can smell that?” asked Peachy, raising an eyebrow. “Nope. I can feel the tracks. Just one of the advantages of no shoes. It’s quite muddy here thanks to the natives.” “Oh shit...what do we do? I mean, they can’t be horse-rustlers! They’d have taken everypony! You...you two,” Peachy waved a hoof at the driver and then at the van, where another shape was on the radio. “Bud,” said the man, “and my little brother Larry.” “Bud, thanks, did you see anything?” “I didn’t see anything, I was asleep in the cab, ponies make quite a lot of noise, I didn’t think nothing of it at first. Whoever it was, they were pretty quick and silent, and they knew what they were after.” “They didn’t get me and Cobalt...” “I don’t know, maybe they didn’t know you were there. Maybe they expected ponies like you to sleep inside.” “I’ll get the natives, guys, they seem to like me.” said Cobalt, and he set off coralling the ponies. Peachy went with Bud to talk to Larry. “...That’s affirmative, we have a situation here. Get Central to take a peek into the traffic tonight, see if it can dredge anything local that looks odd...yes, comms are up, I see it updating now...” Larry was talking to the hands-free and punching keys on a laptop mounted on the dashboard, it doubled as a GPS routing device as well as the communications station for the archaic vehicle they were using. Peachy craned her neck to see, but Bud pulled down a wheelchair access ramp and gestured to it. With a flutter of feathers, Peachy found herself rising into the air up to the cabin. She stepped in gingerly with a clatter of hooves, her bulk just about fitting in the space. Poking her muzzle through the middle, she could see out and see the screen, “What’s that dot?” “That dot, Miss, is a suspicious horse-trailer that’s been empty up until now. Central reckons it took on either one large horse or two smaller ponies very recently, very near to us.” “Midnight and Frontpage!” “That your two friends?” “Indeed. I’m Peachy Punch by the way, shake!” Peachy held out a hoof which the driver smiled at and took immediately, “that’s Cobalt back there.” Two solid bangs came from the back, and Cobalt called, “They’re all in, close the hatch!” Bud pushed a button and the ramp lifted up, Larry went around the back to secure it. A few moments later he hopped back up into the cabin and Bud started the engine. A smile lit up Peachy’s face as she started humming, “We’re on the road again, dum de dum de dum, travelling places that I’ve never been...” Larry laughed, “That’s not how it goes...hang on...” The van lit up with the stirring tones of Willie Nelson at the push of a button, On the road again - Just can't wait to get on the road again. The life I love is making music with my friends And I can't wait to get on the road again. On the road again, Goin' places that I've never been. Seein' things that I may never see again.. Peachy’s eyes lit up, “I haven’t heard this in forever!” The pair sang in an awful off-key rendition barely in time with the music as Bud took them out onto the highway as urgently as possible, crooning face to muzzle the final lines and laughing heartily. “We needed some travelling music on this excellent adventure. Now, let’s see where our friends are going...” “Looks like the shield, what in tarnation are they up to?” “I don’t know, but we’re not going to be able to catch them before they hit it.” The chase sped on towards the coast, and the morning. *** Midnight was still shaking himself dry when a cry came from above, “LOOK OUT BELOW!” A yellow-orange streak of colour with a red mane and tail was whirring two wings inexpertly as fast as she could. Flying didn’t seem to be a problem, as such, but landings looked to be difficult. Midnight ducked instinctively as the large four-legged, two-winged shape dropped out of the sky like a brick and impacted with the water, hooves first. A great wave splashed over both Midnight and Frontpage. Midnight spat the salt water out and sighed, he’d almost been dry. Stepping back in to the frigid waters, he headed for the coughing, spluttering shape. He gripped a wing firmly but carefully in his teeth and pulled steadily towards the shore until the half-drowned pegasus could stand, where she hopped out and shook herself dry. Midnight sighed again, and shook his head to get the water out of his ears. Again. Peachy had the good manners to look slightly recalcitrant at least. She spoke, “What happened to you guys? One minute Cobalt and I were asleep and the next thing I know I’m being shaken awake by our drivers - they’re Bud and Larry by the way, funny how I never thought to get their names earlier...” “We were kidnapped, Peachy, damn fools wanted to get to Equestria. Without ponification. Where’s Cobalt?” As if in answer, with a clatter of hooves, the slate-grey earth-pony rounded the bend and barely stopped short in a cloud of dust, breathing hard, covered in sweat but otherwise none the worse for wear, “Midnight, Frontpage, you two okay?” Midnight shook his head in awe, “I want to know how you found us, how you got here so fast! It was pitch black!” Peachy Punch smiled, “I guess human technology is good for some stuff eh? Whoever those guys were they weren’t very intelligent. Larry just asked the road system for any vehicles capable of transporting horses or ponies in the area and lucked out! I was sure that was you. We double-timed it until the shield and then they sent me an’ Cobalt for recon. I...I hadda fly! Hey holy shit I was flying! I didn’t even think! I just went for it!” “You still don’t have landings down yet though, huh?” Frontpage grinned. Peachy looked embarassed, Cobalt spoke up, “She’ll get them, just like Midnight his magic. What happened? I saw the wreck on the way down...” Peachy breathlessly explained about their trip, about how they’d found the tracks, located what they sincerely hoped was the kidnappers and Midnight and Frontpage, and finally about how she and Cobalt had been sent through the shield once they’d reached it. The four were walking back up the hill, Midnight pointed to the van with it’s interesting interior decour, “That’s where they ended up.” Cobalt and Peachy both made faces, Midnight shook his head sadly, “Suffice to say they wont be bothering us any more. Well here we are, the shield’s just ahead, I can see our two friends leaning on it.” Peachy looked with wide eyes at the empty air and then back to Midnight before trotting forwards and waving her hooves in the air experimentally, “You can see the shield?” Midnight nodded, “Yeah, can’t you? I thought...I thought everypony could see it?” “Maybe it’s just unicorns. Maybe it’s just you. Where is it?” Midnight trotted past Peachy, who blushed and stopped waving her hoof about in the air as he stopped just shy of the border. It was so large that it almost seemed to go directly up, a shimmering wall that looked somewhat like a soap-bubble, fragile and indistinct as if it would burst at any moment. He knew differently; to those things not able to pass through it, it was an impenetrable barrier. Two men with a familiar van were on the other side, leaning against it. “How are they...ooohhh, that looks freaky.’ “Not from where I’m standing,” said Midnight, “but I guess it looks weird to you. Guys! We must have given you quite the scare!” They straightened and waved happily at the sight of all four of their charges. Bud, the eldest of the two, touched his hand to a cap, “Aye that you did. Twilight would’ve given us hell if we’d lost any of you. Made it safely then?” “We did, thank you gentlemen.” Midnight and Frontpage explained, pointing back down the hill, about what had happened. It was mercifully out of sight but they wondered if it would ever be out of mind. “What are you going to say to the authorities? I don’t want anything to cause trouble none for...for later.” said Bud finally. “I’ll make sure to praise your swift actions. You weren’t to know and I don’t want this to happen again with less favourable results.” Midnight did a double take, “Say, what keeps you two on two legs?” “Me? I made a promise to my ma and pa to look after my li’l bro here.” “And I want to see more of the world before I leave it,” said the other, smiling, “best damn job in the world taking you li’l critters to Equestria. One day I’ll see it fer myself, but until I’m ready, we’ll keep helping those who are.” *** The van had driven off to it’s next destination, Midnight just hoped that the natives could stand the travel. It had certainly frazzled his nerves, it would have even without the last few hours. Now they stood on the shores of a new world - quite literally - and waited. Their wait was rewarded with a golden shape skimming low across the waves. What they first thought to be a boat turned out to be a large flying chariot with wheels pulled by four pegasus ponies in regal armour. It swooped around the bay twice and then came in for a landing in the surf. Inside was a smallish, dark blue shape - there was something odd about her which took Midnight a few moments to process, before he blurted out, “Winged unicorn!” The dark blue winged unicorn smiled to herself, “Good morning, ponies. I am Luna-” “You’re...from my dream...” said Midnight, jaw dropping, “you were on a throne with another pony like you, she was...bigger, different colours.” Luna inclined her head, nodding, “My sister Celestia, we two are the rulers of Equestria, your princesses.” “Our princesses?” squeaked Peachy Punch, “Do...do we need to swear allegiance or something? I mean...” “Peachy,” said Luna smiling, and the pegasus blanched that this strange yet somehow familiar regal pony knew her name, “you accepted us into your heart didn’t you?” Peachy nodded, as did Cobalt. Frontpage flicked his ears happily and Midnight inclined his head in a pony-nod. Luna smiled, “And this...feels like home?” Midnight had to admit, things felt somehow right, “Yes, Princess, I think it does.” “Then it’s agreed!” Luna’s laugh filled the air like a thousand twinkling bells, “your carriage awaits, sons and daughters of Equestria.” *** The charriot sped through the clouds, high up, as if it were a jet. He’d had trepidations at first of the capability of the pegasi soldiers to pull it, let alone make it fly, but after the smooth takeoff he just relaxed and went with it, “Magic.” he said idly. “You see, don’t you?” said Luna quietly, “You’re a unicorn of some talent, forgive me but you do not...feel like a great mage, but you are a unicorn.” “You mean my talent? My cutie mark, did you call it? Do you know what it is?” “You don’t have one yet, but never fear, you will discover your true purpose. I see at least one of your group has.” “You were speaking of magic?” “Humans...you know why they can’t enter Equestria?” “I...I thought the shield...” Luna shook her head, “It is a manifestation of the differences between our two realms. Adult humans are...too in-tune with their own world. When you let our magic in to your heart, we offer you a piece of our realm. It’s up to you to accept it. We cannot force the change, it really is a gift, freely given.” “It is magic then?” “We have no other word for it,” Luna smiled, “You could argue metaphysics all day with our greatest thaumatists, we were delighted when we discovered your adherence to the scientific method, as you call it. Our realms just...work differently.” They travelled the rest of the trip in silence. The ocean below, so blue and green, so pure, like nothing he had ever seen except in pictures. It tugged at his heart and lifted his spirits. Midnight felt joy rising in his blood, almost an audible song, as the ocean gave way to yellow beaches, to scrubland and finally to green and pleasant rolling hills. They were travelling fast, very fast. There was an itch between his eyes that told him the charriot and it’s fliers was magically enchanted but still he marvelled at it. When the charriot swooped lower to come in for a landing he almost felt a pang of regret. They were landing in a decent-sized village, the architecture quaint and somehow recognizable. There were differences, but he recognized chairs, tables, streets, windows and doors. Luna stepped regally out from the back of the chariot and was all but assaulted by smiling happy ponies nuzzling and greeting her. “Ah, my beloved subjects!” she cried, and cheers went up, wreathes of flowers were thrown into the air and several given to Peachy, Midnight and the gang. “I want to welcome you to Ponyville, where you’ll be spending your time until you are done with your orientation.” Midnight looked sideways at the smirking princess, “What do you mean?” “I mean I’m sending you to school.” A bell tolled in the distance, and a stream of eager young foals sped through the streets heading towards what had to be the schoolhouse, “and we’re just in time, hop along to class now! I’ll sort everything else out.” *** Note: Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” lyrics are, of course, from the great Willie Nelson. I know this was a shorter chapter, but it felt right. I’ll back back with part 5! * * * The Conversion Bureau Midnight’s Tail Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road *** Part 1 - Hitting the Road Part 2 - Hoofing It Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road Part 6 - Epilogue Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3 NOTE: Yes folks, I think it’s time we left Midnight to his own devices...but I would love to get back to the other OC’s in here! keep your eyes open. PS: im planning on an epilogue... :) Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe Original: Equestria Daily - Conversion Bureau *** Midnight walked through the streets dejectedly. Frontpage had disappeared in a flash, Peachy had been nabbed by the weather patrol and Cobalt had been offered apprentice-ship in half a dozen different earth-pony professions. He, on the other hand, had been ordered to school. “We can’t have,” an official but friendly-sounding mayoral pony had said when he’d tried to get out of it, “a unicorn who doesn’t know how to be a unicorn. Besides, your group is the first to Ponyville and we haven’t quite got up to speed yet.” He had followed the crowd of eager and not-so-eager schoolfoals. The tide led to a chirpy-looking buildng with a bell-tower and rows of shuttered windows, currently open to let in the warm spring morning. He stepped up the wide wooden steps and through the open door. There was a simple small hallway where he noted collections of school bags - pannier sacks - as well as raincoats, hats and boots. He felt, for the first time in a while, naked. There was a door, he knocked on it gingerly with a hoof. To his dismay it swung easily open and he stood there swishing his tail nervously as every pair of eyes turned his way. “And just what time do you call thi- ah,” the teacher-pony harrumphed and arranged her expression, “you must be...let me see...ah yes, Miss Midnight.” “Mister,” coughed Midnight, to amused giggles and titters from the crowd of children. “Ah yes,” said the teacher, adjusting spectacles, “modern times and all. Come in, come in. Class, I want you to welcome an addition to our fold, Mister Midnight Shadow. I’m Cheerilee by the way,” she called to him, before turning back to the class, “he’ll be staying with us and attending class for orientation - hooves up who knows what that is...” They had sent him to school not to learn about Equestria as such, although basics like reading their script, geography and history would come in handy, but to learn how to be a unicorn. He was sat in the middle near the back, there were creaks behind him as foals tried to see around his bulk. He could barely sit in the chair. He was an adult! How come a stuffy teacher-pony in a pair of spectacles could make him feel like he was five again? He looked at the purple earth-pony with three flowers on her flank. Earth ponies might not have any obvious magic, he thought, but teachers certainly have something. “Alright class, let’s try our hooves at some art. Pencils everypony!” intoned the teacher. Midnight lifted the pulpit lid with trepidation. There appeared to be a good deal of supplies underneath. He awkwardly took a sheet of paper and lipped a pencil. With dismay he noticed that all the foals had already starting sketching. He picked the pencil up in his teeth, it was tougher than an earth pencil but otherwise identical. He idly wondered how they made them - the paper was more like a scroll than the flat, uniform sheets he remembered so he suspected they were hoof-made. He looked up, “Umm, what am I supposed to draw?” he ignored the giggles. “How about for today you draw a self-portrait.” Cheerilee replied with a small smile. Midnight’s heart sank. He put the tip of the pencil to the paper and dragged it across the parchment, after a few more he had made a passable pony-shape. He’d managed four legs, a head and a tail before he realised that he’d not drawn a human. He was feeling quite pleased with himself...until he looked about at the other childrens’ efforts. One in particular made him blush, his stick-figure of a roughly pony-shape was infantile at best, whereas almost right next to him was a light blue unicorn with the cutie-mark of a colour-mixing pallette, concentrating intently, her horn glowing as coloured chalk and pencils flew through the air and she sketched an amazingly detailed picture of the classroom. His heart sank again as she competently drew not only the entire class but also himself, with barely a glance for reference. Cheerilee was trotting happily around the class nodding and encouraging; before he could stop her she took a long look at his picture, “Oh, that’s rather good for a first attempt! I think that deserves a gold star!” He almost died when she rummaged around in a bag around her neck and brought out, yes, a sticky gold star which she affixed to it. “Have you thought about using your magic?” she asked gently, Midnight shook his head, “well you should try!” The teacher went back to her desk and he put the pencil down. He stared at it for a while and then closed his eyes. Be the pencil, he thought to himself, feel it lifting into the air. Size matters not, and besides, it’s only a teeny little pencil...push it, lift it, feel it rising...do, or do not, there is no try... “Mister Midnight, that’s quite enough of that!” said the teacher, knocking her table with her hoof impatiently, “I meant use your magic to draw, not float around the room like a balloon!” “Huh?” he opened his eyes, his concentration broke and he dropped two feet back down the floor with a clatter, whereupon he fell off the chair. More giggling. He sighed, this wasn’t going well... The bell rang for recess, and the tide of eager young foals swept him along with them into the schoolyard where he was swamped with questions, “Is it true humans eat ponies? Do you still eat ponies?” “I heard humans can fly, but none of the pictures I’ve seen had wings...” “Dancer says you’ve got something wrong with you cos-” “Strawberry Surprise! Hush!” an adult pony stemmed the tide, chastising one of the foals, “I’ll tell your mother on you if you talk like that, it’s not true and you know it, he’s just not been a pony for long! Even if he does have special needs...” Midnight hung his head at renewed giggling. “That’s not fair!” said a stubborn little voice, a pudgy little blue-green unicorn with a pair of scissors as his cutie-mark said, “That’s nothing to laugh at! We’re all special, he’s extra special since he’s a human! Only he’s a pony! But he used to be a human! A-a-and now he’s not!” “Yeah you used ta be a human! That’s so cool!” said another voice, an orangey-brown unicorn with a distinct green mane said. Midnight noticed that little guy had a snail as a cutie mark, “They really do come in all shapes and sizes, huh?” he said to himself. “Uh-huh we do! Us unicorns gotta stick together, bro!” said the one he was going to call Snails - at least until he found out what the unicorn’s real name was. “And you’re the coolest! I can’t manage anything like you did! Make me fly!” “No me!” Midnight smiled and closed his eyes, and concentrated like he had before. When he opened them, both unicorns were floating around in the breeze kicking their legs and whooping like loons. “Mister Midnight,” said a familiar voice, and he cringed, dropping both unicorns to the floor in a heap, “you put Snips and Snails down this inst-” the teacher narrowed her eyes, “don’t think I didn’t see that! We do not levitate our classmates, even if they asked for it. Inside you three! Break’s over!” Second period started just as painful as the first. It turned out he couldn’t read. Or write. Equestrian script was cursive, somewhat rune-like, and even though he could understand their speech, writing it was another matter. Cheerilee had intervened when she realised what the problem was, and had rapidly started drawing on the chalkboard a passable imitation of English, “Midnight speaks the way we do, but the written language is another talent - he might not know how to write in Equestrian, but he is quite capable of reading and writing his own language...now where was it...” She brought out an old, beaten book; it was hard-bound and very old with faded print but gorgeous coloured drawings, these seemed to be made by hand. “The Brothers Grimm,” said Midnight, and gently turned the pages with a hoof, as lightly as possible. He started reading ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and was several sentences down when he stopped and looked up, the foals were all craning their necks to see. “I think story time is in order, perhaps?” said the teacher, and pointed with a hoof to the back of the classroom. In moments, with the scraping of chairs and pulpits, the foals had cleared enough room in the corner for him to recline on some well-placed cushions and them to arrange themselves around him. Some, especially Snips and Snails, snuggled up to him. Others kept their distance, attempting to appear aloof. Everypony listened. He realised it felt pretty good. He was just finished when the lunch-bell went and the tide of youthful energy incarnate on hooves dragged him out the door. He was halfway out of town following three young fillies who were talking incessantly about their adventures trying to find their cutie-marks when he spotted Cobalt coming the other way. It was then he realized he had absolutely no idea where he was going. “Hey Midnight,” said Cobalt, ears perking up, “how’s your day been?” “Just don’t ask. What’ve you been up to?” “Trying my hooves at apple-bucking. I don’t think it’s for me, but the Apple family sure has some great cooking.” One of the three, a yellow earth-pony with a bright red mane turned to the dark blue unicorn, “y’are comin’ to brunch ain’tcha?” “I...er...I...” The little earth pony looked up with the hugest, most sorrowful eyes he had ever seen. It was no good. Whatever plans he thought he’d had were toast, “yeah, sure, why not, if you’ll have me.” There was bouncing. There was yelling. There were whoops of joy. Somehow they dragged him all the way to a farmhouse in the middle of what seemed to be an apple orchard, where a large table was being set by an orange earth-pony with a blond mane and a cowboy hat. He racked his brains, and came up with a name, “Let me guess,” he said, and the pony stopped short and looked at him, “you’re Applejack? Twilight sends her regards.” “Well sirree that’s a fine howdy-do. If’n you don’t have the edge on me mister.” “Midnight,” said Midnight, “a few days ago I was human, I think I met your friends at the Ponification Centre in my old home town.” The pony whooped and leapt on him, taking his hoof and shaking it until he thought it would come off, “well if’n ma li’l sister Applebloom and her friends have taken a shine to ya, and Twilight herself sent you our way then y’all are right in my book. Staying for lunch?” “I...yes. Yes I am, before I head back to school.” “School?” Applejack tried to hide a smirk behind a hoof, but wasn’t very good at it. Midnight smiled too, “Don’t laugh, I’m learning a lot. I think. Mostly about how I don’t like school...” Heading back to school was about the hardest thing he’d ever done. He’d been given apple pie, apple fritters, apple chutney, apple surprise - it wasn’t much of a surprise, it did have apples in it after all - apple sundae, apple smoothie and apple supreme. He was full. He was stuffed. He was quite sure that under his coat could be seen bulging apple-shapes in his belly. The last thing on his mind was school, but he had made it. Some history, some geography...he tried to pay attention but it was getting rather difficult. “Psst!” said a voice. He blinked, it was a light pink earth pony with a light purple and white mane and tail. She had a note in her mouth. She indicated it as best as she could with her eyes. He looked away, on the other side of him was a dark grey pony with a silver mane, she too was nodding urgently towards the note. Midnight sighed and rolled his eyes. He took the note in his mouth from the side of the table and went to pass it across. “Mister Midnight,” came a familiar voice. Again. He cringed. Again. “I don’t know how things are usually done where you come from,” Cheerilee continued, “but around here we do not pass notes around. You are passing a note, I take it?” “Er...no, I mean yes...I mean no...I mean...er...which is the right answer?” “A big unicorn like you? Come on then, bring it here, let’s see what couldn’t wait...” He nervously walked up to the front and gingerly put the note on Cheerilee’s table. She opened it with her hooves, “this note...appears to be blank.” He blushed hotly as he heard giggles behind him of “Blank flank!” and Cheerilee sighed, “The corner. Back there. Go. I think you need a timeout.” Midnight hung his head so low it scraped the polished wooden floor. He finally slumped onto the cushions he’d so recently been using to tell a story from and he stared at the wall. This hadn’t entirely been how he’d seen his first day in Equestria going. He rested his head on his forehooves and yawned, he wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve it and he was pretty sure it was one big joke. He yawned again...at least the timeouts were comfier in Equestria. He closed his eyes. *** “Wake up sleepy head,” Midnight opened his eyes with a start. Somepony had covered him with a light blanket. It had kittens and ducks on it. He’d been sleeping...in class. He did his best to bury his face in his hooves. It had worked better with fingers, and a face rather than a muzzle. “Oh don’t give me that, you were exhausted. I could tell when you started snoring.” “Snoring? Oh please tell me I didn’t...” “You did!” Cheerilee laughed, “But I let you sleep it off. I’ve finished marking today’s work by our older fillies and colts, so it’s time for me to head home. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” Midnight looked puzzled for a moment as he struggled to his hooves, “I’m not sure where to go to. I don’t have anywhere.” Cheerilee thought for a moment, “I suppose you could try the library. Twilight lives there normally, but she’s touring the Conversion Bureaus as they start up.” “Oh, oh I couldn’t...” “It’s quite a large library you know, with more than one guest room. I think the chance to study on your own time would do you good.” Midnight headed over to the library in the waning afternoon sunlight, he was about to knock on the door when he remembered it was probably empty. They didn’t seem to have locks in Equestria, so he wasn’t surprised when the door swung open. He poked his nose in and looked around. Books. Lots and lots of books, all neatly organized by subject and author. Not only that, but scrolls, though these were stacked differently. He stepped in and opened the curtains with his teeth on a draw-string. Sunlight flooded the room and he took a deep breath, so much condensed knowledge in one place. Back home, his computer systems had held many times this library’s worth in raw information, but knowledge wasn’t only measured in bits and bytes. He took a couple of books out, one by one. They were often written by hand - well, hoof and mouth or by magic, he reasoned - painstakingly collected and collated. He realized something else, too. He was home. *** There was a thump somewhere up above him. Midnight looked up, only now realizing that the afternoon sun was setting and several hours had gone by. He’d found some references on the Equestrian language and was making copious notes going through some simple children’s stories on amazing similarities. He’d been told to study, after all, he reckoned, and there didn’t seem to be any library card system...but that noise, what had it been? Midnight got up and headed up the wide stairs around the inside of the trunk of the tree to the second floor, and was surprised to see a large winged shape coming the other way. “Luna!” he said, loud in the confines of the otherwise-empty library. She must have landed on some balcony and trotted in. He wondered idly if she was here to see him or on some other errand. “I see you found your way to the books, you’re as bad as Twilight Sparkle. You’ve been here all day, haven’t you?” “You sent me to school!” Midnight stamped a hoof and shook his head in denial. Luna laughed, “You went? Then tell me, my little scholar, what did you learn at school today?” Midnight thought, “You know what? Children are the same everywhere, so are adults. Things aren’t so different in Equestria after all, even though ponies seem to take things easier. I think I like it.” Luna smiled, “Was that such a hard lesson?” “What am I, your special student?” Luna sniffed, “If my big sister can have a prized pupil, I think I’m allowed the liberty if I so choose.” The words rang in his ears and he blinked, what was he supposed to say to that? “I...I’m honoured. If that’s what you mean.” “I hadn’t intended it, but I think I shall rub my sister’s face in it occasionally. Let us make it official. I, Princess Luna, designate you, Midnight Shadow, as my special student.” “But what am I studying?” Midnight blurted, ears splaying back in shock. “Magic - no, hear me out, you are not a great mage...yet...but you do provide a unique viewpoint, a bridge between worlds. I want you to keep your ears and eyes open and report to me regularly on the differences and similarities between your old world and Equestria, your new one. It will give you an opportunity to work on that atrocious hoofwriting of yours.” “But...but...I...how do you know I’d even be good at it?” “Two reasons, silly pony. One, you’ve just spent several hours researching folk tales...” “You mean reading children’s stories!” “Hush, I know what I mean, and secondly...take a look.” She pointed with a wing. Midnight whirled and looked behind him, Luna giggled, “no, right there.” Midnight looked. He stared, he gaped in disbelief. He hadn’t even felt it! “My...is that my cutie mark?” “That, or we have some very mischievous elves with tiny little paintbrushes.” “Elves?” said Midnight, eyes wide. “Relax! It was a joke! We don’t have elves! There’s no such thing.” “So...I have a cutie mark? I have a cutie mark! I got my cutie mark!” He did. It was a scroll, curled at both ends with ink blots covering it, and a feather quill and what appeared to be an inkwell. He turned around and around trying to get a better look, with Luna giggling behind a hoof as he did so. She put a hoof on his shoulder to calm him, “I’ll bet you’ve forgotten to eat.” There was an answering rumble from his stomach, and Midnight blushed, “I guess I did kind of get carried away.” “Well then that settles it! Time for a celebratory dinner. On me.” “That reminds me! I don’t have any money! I mean I can eat grass I guess but it’s not like I have any pockets and I don’t think they take Credits here anyway...and I’d given those away at the Bureau...and...” Luna smiled again, leading Midnight out of the library, “I think a small allowance is in order, student.” in answer to her own statement she levitated a small cloth bag out of a pack strapped tightly around her neck so that it didn’t get in the way of her wings, and dropped it in front of the startled unicorn. He poked it with a hoof, it jingled. “There are enough bits in there for a month or so...I think...our treasury hands these things out to me and I don’t really know what to do with them all so you might as well put them to good use. However, our first stop needs to be Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s shop, for a bag or two for you. Her cousin Elusive’s looking after it whilst she’s accompanying Twilight. He’s not such a good designer, but he can work the colour co-ordination.” *** The pannier bags and neck-satchel were an unnatural weight on his body so soon after learning to be without clothing, but he was sure he’d get used them. He followed Luna like a little lost puppy, he knew he’d look silly going to school the next day with his books, but he would have fun. They stopped at a small cafe and Luna picked the table. She was just ordering for them when there was a cry of, “LOOK OUT BELOW!” and a yellow-orange streak of colour once again dropped from the skies. Peachy Punch barely managed to pull up in time and she landed with such a thump that it rattled the teacups. She shook herself before getting up and wobbling towards Midnight and Luna, “Oh hi! Hey guys...I...uh...I mean...good evening Your Majesty.” Peachy turned to Midnight and hissed, “What the hell! You don’t just invite yourself to tea with the princess!” “I’ll have you know, my good mare, I invited him. I think I’m allowed to have dinner with my special student.” Midnight blushed and stammered as Peachy looked agog at the unicorn, “I...kind of got a job.” “That’s wicked!” said Peachy, giving Midnight a congratulatory hoof in the ribs. Midnight smiled weakly and coughed a thanks. “Come, sit down, it’s so rarely I get to have a quiet meal and I do so hate having breakfast alone.” said Princess Luna, indicating the table and chairs, “I’ve restricted access to Ponyville whilst orientation is happening so all those fussy officials are kept out. Whilst my big sister Celestia is off hob-nobbing in the human world I’m left to keep Equestria running smoothly.” Princess Luna smirked as Peachy took a seat, “I’ve also designated Ponyville as my temporary base of operations. I can see why she rolls her eyes every time the Chancellors start up their wind-bagging...” Luna was a master at smalltalk and soon the trio were laughing and joking as if they’d been friends forever. She even invited Cobalt and Frontpage when Peachy and Midnight spotted them wandering through the square, which was rapidly filling up with ponies out to enjoy the warm evening, though she did warn the latter than if any of their chatting got printed in ‘Equestria Daily’ that she’d be re-upholstering her throne soon after. Frontpage smiled, “Your highness, the first rule of a newspaper hack is to protect your sources, and the second is to know when to keep things off the record.” The dinner, though it was more a breakfast for the princess, finished with friendly laughter and chatting before Luna excused herself, citing her royal duties with a mischievous grin. Curious, the four followed her to the center of the square where she closed her eyes and spread her wings. An ethereal light chased around her small, lithe body before growing and illuminating the entire area. All the ponies stopped and watched in rapt attention as she suddenly lifted her head and opened her mouth as if singing a song that only she could hear. The world seemed to shift. As the countryside grew brighter, so bright that his own body and all the onlookers were thrown into stark blue relief Midnight realised that their princess was raising the moon. He stamped his hooves in appreciation with the rest, soon the entire square was reverberating with the spontaneous cheering. Luna stopped once this monumental task was complete and smiled once at her new pupil and friends, fondly, before taking to the skies. Midnight watched her go. As far as first days in a new world went, this one had to be hard to beat. He turned and bid his friends farewell before heading home with a smile. *** * * * The Conversion Bureau Midnight’s Tail Epilogue *** Part 1 - Hitting the Road Part 2 - Hoofing It Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road Part 6 - Epilogue Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Pride, Peachy Punch, Blaze and all my readers and editors :3 Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe Original: Equestria Daily - Conversion Bureau *** Twilight was exhausted. Spike was fast asleep on her back and she was all but fast asleep on her hooves. Travel on Earth was a lot more hard work than it was in Equestria. As she walked, too tired to trot, through the empty streets of Ponyville. The library was just ahead, in a few minutes she could... “Spike! Spike!” she hissed, stopping in the street. There was a wan light inside the treehouse, an intruder! “Huh? Whaddaya want Twilight? I’m tired...” “There’s somepony in my treehouse!” Spike came wide awake at once, scrambling to stand up on the unicorn’s back, peering over her head between her long ears. She shook her mane out and pawed the ground, “What do you think, rush the joint?” “Hi ho Twilight, away!” agreed Spike, holding on for dear life as the unicorn reared up and broke into an immediate gallop. She slammed through the door and slid to a halt inside the main room. “My it’s windy tonight,” came a voice from a back room, it sounded busy and tired, “do I hear somepony out there? I’m sorry, I’m rather sleepy, the library’s closed. Can you come back tomorrow?” “I recognize that voice...Midnight?” asked Spike, hopping up and down on Twilight’s back, “It is! It’s Midnight!” “Spike? Twilight! You’re back! I’m so glad to see you!” Midnight came running out of the back and he pranced around the pair, giving Spike a brohoof. The dragon switched mounts and instantly started jabbering about their adventures, relating several humorous occurences in the various Bureaus around the world - Pinkie had absolutely adored India although nopony could talk her out of attempting to feed cotton candy curry to anypony at the drop of a hat. One attempt in particular had resulted in half the staff calling in sick leaving Pinkie to manage the cooking. “Pinkie? Cooking? With curry?” “Oh you haven’t heard the funniest bit yet! She’s all concerned and trying to find something safe to eat for those suffering from the dreaded Deli Belly, right? So she asks me, she goes ‘Spike, how about oatmeal?’ and you know what I said?” “Oatmeal?” “Oatmeal! I said, ‘oatmeal, Pinkie, are you crazy?’ and she gives me this look for about five seconds before she’s off rolling around the floor! Hah! I oatmealed Pinkie! Fantastic!” Twilight just stood there with her mouth hanging open, “he stole my library. He just stole my number one assistant. I’m so going to kick his flank for this...” she yawned heavily, she knew she was just cranky, “in the morning...” “I bet you’re tired,” said Midnight, smiling, nosing the yawning Spike. The dragon waved his paws and made a face that said ‘getoff’. Midnight led the way upstairs to Twilight’s bedroom. He opened the door and turned up the firefly lamps with a hoof, “I kept it waiting for you, just the way you’d want it.” The room was pristine, perfect, with clean bedding and a scented candle which Midnight proudly lit with a spark from his horn. Twilight revised her plans from bodily harm down to a chewing out, but collapsed into her bed without complaint. Spike all but leapt at his basket with a cry of “blankie!” whereupon he rolled himself up in it’s warm blue cuddliness and almost immediately started snoring. Midnight was making breakfast in the kitchenette in the back of the library. Something light today, I think, he thought to himself, tasting the daffodils and dandelions for consistency. He’d not really gotten used to eating flowers yet and found himself putting them in vases and getting odd looks from his guests - what few he had. He liked the mornings in Ponyville, so peaceful, so quie- “MIIIDDDNIIIGGGHHHTTTT!” shrieked Twilight, “Did you use all the hot water? I need hot water for my mane or it’ll be all frizzy! I have to give my report to the Princess today! I can’t do that looking like a clown!” Midnight slumped, so much for peace and quiet, “Sorry Twilight!” he called, “I’ll...I’ll have a word with the pegasus ponies, I’m sure you can borrow a cloud...” “FORGET IT!” grumbled Twilight from the bathroom. Midnight turned to finish the salad and was just setting it on the table when a wet and dripping Twilight stomped into the kitchenette with a soap bottle in her mouth. She spat it onto the table, “What do you call this?” she asked, eyes narrowing. Midnight looked, and read the label slowly, not yet up to speed on Equestrian script, “Silver Shine’s Glossy Hair Creme - for a thick, luxurious coat, mane and tail.” “Correct. Do you notice anything wrong with it?” “Other than the fact it’s on my table, you mean?” “It’s empty!” she hissed, “It costs twenty eight bits a bottle on special import from Canterlot and it’s empty!” “But...” said Midnight, “it’s the only shampoo that keeps my mane in shape! And don’t let me start about my tail!” “You used all the hot water! You used all my shampoo! You..you...you’re living in my library! Augh! It’s too early for this...I’m going back to bed.” Midnight slumped at the kitchen table, this was going to be harder than he thought. A bell went off and he raised his head. On top of all that, he was going to be late for school! Cheerilee was going to put him in detention...again! He wrote a quick note, ‘enjoy your breakfast’, and galloped out the door. Twilight woke up with a start when with a loud, “woah, woah...look out!” a blue and rainbow-haired pegasus came hurtling through an open window and crashed into the bookcase downstairs. She opened her eyes and sighed, “no rest for the weary.” “Hi, er, hey Twi, glad to see you made it! Have...have you seen Midnight?” Rainbow Dash had the remains of a salad in her teeth, she’d managed to scoff the lot in the few minutes since so decidedly waking the sleepy unicorn. Twilight yawned, “No, I think you just missed him. Any particular reason?” “Oh no, no, you know, just...wanted to say hi. We didn’t get a chance yesterday evening before you came to do any...er, talking...the princesses...” “Midnight was dining with the princesses?” Twilight’s cheeks grew hot. “Y-yeah, funny thing...” Dash grinned weakly “And you didn’t invite me?” “Well you were out of town, you took the later flight...” “Well some of us had work to do. Some of us don’t have wings.” Twilight spat. The fight was broken up by a bell ringing. A light blue filly with an hour glass on her flank and an interestingly white and dark-blue striped mane and tail trotted in and looked all around, “Uh, oh...is the librarian not here? I wanted to borrow a book...” Twilight boiled with rage, “I’M THE LIBRARIAN!” The filly looked Twilight up and down, “Hardly, he’s a bit bigger than you and a stallion for a start...” “Augh! And you ate all my breakfast...Dash you greedy pig!” Rainbow Dash and the filly, Colgate, fled the treehouse, the former in tears of laughter. Midnight concentrated. He no longer floated around the room when writing using his magic, but he still wasn’t very good at it. He’d also progressed on the reading. He was on ‘Hooves, Manes and Tails - My First Bedtime Story Book’ now and had collected an embarrassing number of gold stars from Cheerilee. He’d given up trying to understand why he was still being sent to school - Mayor Mare said it was a mixup with the paperwork, he personally suspected it was Luna having a long-winded joke. He was making the best of it and to be honest he was learning a lot about Equestria and getting good practice in reading and writing natively. He was currently working on an illustrated story about the time before he was a unicorn when he was a human known as Martin Danielson, for his Equestrian Languages class. He was trying to get out of the habit of drawing himself as he was and instead drawing himself as he used to be. Strangely enough it was difficult. He kept adding the horn, hooves and the tail. He doodled, drawing a pegasus, then picking up a blue pencil with his magic and colouring the lines lightly. He followed it up with all the colours of the rainbow in the mane and tail. “That’th Rainbow Dathh!” said Twist, a chipper little foal who loved to make peppermint sticks. Midnight could almost count the days until she was working for the Cakes, or even running her own sweet shop. Midnight smiled and looked down. He’d done it again, he’d drawn himself as a unicorn, looking up at Dash flying about in the Ponification Centre. “It certainly is! This is just after I became a unicorn, not the first time I’ve met Dash. I was having dinner with her last night. Princess Luna and Princess Celestia were there too.” “No way! I don’t believe you!” called another pony “I’ll prove it, kid. Pop ‘round the library later tonight and I’ll introduce you to Luna.” Midnight was quickly surrounded by choruses of “me too! And me!” and he had to laugh, even though Cheerilee gave him a light-hearted mock-scowl. He looked at the picture and smiled fondly, then made up his mind, “Miss? I’m going to have to leave early.” Cheerilee raised an eyebrow and adjusted her spectacles, “Just because you’re five times as big as the rest of my students, don’t think you get special treatment, young unicorn. You’re just like any other student when in class.” “It’s official business,” he lied, blushing slightly. Cheerilee narrowed her eyes, she didn’t believe a word of it but she did have a soft spot for the lummox. Perhaps this time he could get away with it, “Well alright, but see you complete page twenty-three and I want the homework done too! No skimping or I’ll put you in timeout. Again.” Midnight dipped his head in agreement, blushing, as he collected his things. Timeouts were becoming less common but seemed to come in almost equal measure to the gold stars. He fled before she could change her mind. A few minutes later, Rainbow Dash poked her head around the door gingerly, scanning around the classroom. She waved a hoof at Scootaloo before she caught sight of Cheerilee and stopped mid-wave. The teacher had a face like a purple thundercloud. “Miss Rainbow Dash, if you want to stay for lessons all you have to do is ask. Well?” “Oh, er...no, no, I was just looking for someone...” “He left, as should you. Scoot!” Midnight found himself back at the library, he’d looked all over Ponyville to no avail. That darn blue streak of lightning was probably halfway in the clouds and all the way to slumberville. He sniffed. Typical, she’d probably forgotten all about him. He was coming up on the library dejectedly when, with the bright light of day, he realised what looked odd about the place. The grass was getting a bit...wild. He hadn’t noticed in the dark. “Twilight?” he called out, “Twilight? Who cuts the grass around here?” “Who does what?” asked Twilight, finally poking her head out of an upstairs window. she looked grumpy. “Who cuts the grass? I mean I haven’t seen any lawnmowers around here...” “What’s a lawnmower?” “The grass...it’s getting a bit long? Shouldn’t there be something to cut it?” Twilight pulled her head back in and a few moments later appeared at the front door with a puzzled expression on her face, “I thought you were just saving it for later...you’re a pony. Ponies eat grass.” Midnight blinked. How could he have been so foolish? “Oh...ah. Well, that...that does kind of explain things. I...I don’t think I can eat all of this.” “Need help?” said a voice from behind him. Somehow, Pinkie was rising out of the undergrowth like the proverbial great pink huntress. Midnight blinked, he’d long ago given up trying to work out how Pinkie managed things like that, he assumed she was some sort of secret agent, super ninja or part unicorn. Or all three. “I...I can’t eat all of this grass! Oh shoot and that reminds me, after last night I’ve totally forgotten to get the shopping in. Twilight, I’m sorry, you must be hungry.” “Don’t be silly,” said Twilight, brightly - maybe a little too brightly - although her stomach decided to announce she was lying. Midnight disappeared inside and came back out with a purse of jangling coins. “I’m not very good with money yet, but...my treat? I think I’ve got enough to scare up some of the Cake’s cakes. And some of Rocky’s coffee...” Twilight blinked, “where’d you get that?” “I...I get paid?” “What? But there’s a small fortune in here!” “It’s not my fault!” protested Midnight, “The princess just...” “The Princess? Why would Celestia....” Midnight shook his head, “Not Celestia, Luna. I kind of work for her? I did send you a letter.” Twilight grit her teeth, “Let me get this straight; you live in Ponyville, in the library. You work for the princess. I suppose you’ve got a dragon assistant who sends your reports to Luna for you too?” Midnight shook his head again, “There’s this owl; I call him ‘Hugo’ although all he ever says is ‘hoo’ so I’m...I’m not sure...” “An owl.” Twilight looked like she would explode. Midnight nodded. “THAT’S IT! I’M GOING FOR A WALK!” “Tell the rest of the pony gang we’re gonna have ourselves a shearing contest! With grasscake!” called Pinkie, as she happily set to chomping on the delicious foliage. Midnight gingerly started helping. It tasted like lemon sherbet. Inside and out of the sun, Midnight was putting away his school books before heading out to look for a certain pegasus mare. He was idly chewing on an apple fritter, not just any fritter, but a Sweet Apple Acres apple fritter, studying a map of Ponyville and cross-checking with the day’s weather forcast when he suddenly realised that Twilight was once more in the library. She seemed to be getting angrier and angrier, pacing about from shelf to shelf and levitating down book after book and stomping her hooves. He stopped what he was doing and looked up, “Can I help?” “Just what did you do in here? I can’t find anything!” “I...kinda rearranged it a little? Nothing major...” “You...you...you...” “Yes, you’d got everything arranged alphabetically. I’ve rearranged it by topic and author. Much simpler!” “But...half the books are missing!” “They’re not missing, this is a library. They’re on loan. There’s a ledger somewhere...” Midnight fished it out with his magic, cleaning the crumbs away. “You...you...” Twilight was snorting “You said that.” urged Midnight. “You loan books out? I mean yes...this is a library, and yes I suppose the people of Ponyville are allowed to loan the books but, but, but...they never actually do!” “I think it’s the newfoals. I’ve ordered a lot of novels from Canterlot and Trottingham - Far Spotter, Madame Pompadour, Hex Bradley...I think the newfoals are writing as many as they’re reading but they really do love the classics.” “And will you stop eating in here! This is a library, as you were so quick to remind me!” “Sorry Twilight...” mumbled Midnight, scoffing the last piece, “Hey where’s Pinkie?” “I think she went off to make you a special Pinkie Pie Grasscake Surprise, said somethng about a party,” Twilight blinked widely and put a hoof on her mouth, “oh rats, it was supposed to be a surprise!” Midnight grinned, “I’ll act surprised. Tell you what, I’ll...I’ll clear off and come back later, okay? Send Fluttershy after me...no, wait, send AJ or Big Mac once they turn up, knowing Pinkie she’s invited everypony.” “Why not send Rainbow Dash?” called out Twilight, but Midnight had gone. Midnight trotted through the town, eyes on the sky, on the lookout for a streak of rainbow tail on blue hide. He found himself heading to Sweet Apple Acres where the pegasus’ weather patrol was supposed to be causing a mild shower. Cobalt was busy tilling the fields with gusto after the relatively-recent winter-wrapup. Midnight hurried to catch up to him, somehow the earth pony was walking in a continuous ray of sunshine whilst around him the downpour happened obliviously. “Hey Cobalt!” called Midnight, emerging into sudden sunlight and shaking himself dry, “Weird weather we’re having. I’m looking for Rainbow...have you seen Peachy?” Cobalt looked up from his plodding and came to a halt, “Oh hey Midnight, what’s up?” “Have you seen Peachy?” repeated Midnight. “You said that, and I said ‘what’s up’,” said the earth pony with a grin, flicking his ears and tail in mirth, “Peachy’s up, that’s what.” Midnight looked up, and there staring down at him through a pony-sized hole in the rainclouds was a familiar yellow-orange pegasus with the vibrant dark-red mane and tail. “Look out below!” she called and leapt through the hole in the cloud cover and landed with a thump in the muddy field. She still hadn’t quite got the landings down pat. “That’s mah gal,” said Cobalt with a smile, “she runs her own business now!” “That I do! Peachy Punch’s Cloud Delivery and Removal Specialists at your service, Midnight. I’ll punch a hole in those rainclouds just for you, turning grey days just peachy.” Midnight’s eyes widened, “you stop the rain?” “Or bring it, special delivery. Only costs a few bits!” “Sounds like you two are settling down well here!” Peachy did a little dance and showed off her flank, “That we are! I got my cutie-mark and everything!” she showed it off, a little cup of sunshine - literally, it was a happy smiley sun-face in a cup. “That reminds me,” said Cobalt, “an’ I guess now you’re here, it’s as good a time as any. Midnight, you can help do the honours. I’m...not too good with my hooves. I just pull things. Can you fetch the little box out of my saddle-bags? Peachy, you stay right there...” Midnight watched, searching through the bags for what Cobalt had described. It was a small, felt-covered box with a hinged lid. He lifted it out with his magic as Cobalt got down on one knee and looked up at Peachy, “I...uh...I’m not very good with my words either, but will you be...become...er...misses...Peachy Cobalt, or however it works with these pony-names?” Peachy wasn’t sure whether to giggle or gasp, as Midnight flipped open the lid and lifted out a fine silver necklace of horse-shoe and feather-shapes, both box and necklace hanging in the air from Midnight’s magic. She looked down at the earth pony and suddenly grinned ear to ear, giving him a whiskery kiss on the nose, “Oh I will, Cobalt! But...I think I’ll keep on being Peachy Punch.” Midnight, concentrating so hard he was sweating, opened the clasp and put it around Peachy’s neck, his magic giving out just as it finally snapped closed. Peachy Punch opened it awkwardly with her hooves, “What gives? There’s no pictures in here...” “Not yet,” replied Cobalt, “but there will be one day...hopefully one day soon.” Midnight thought for a moment, weaving his head back and forth, “Oh in that case...I...uh...allow me to give you a present. Call it a down-payment for a place of your own...I can give you more if it’s not enough.” he fished his money-pouch out of his own neck-bag and gave it to Peachy in his mouth. She raised an eyebrow at the contents, “Thank you Midnight...I don’t know what to say.” “It’s what friends are for, right? Now I gotta...have you seen Dash?” Peachy thought for a moment, “No, can’t say I have. She’s been absent all morning, said something about having to run an errand...” Midnight’s ears lifted, could she be? “Uh...I have to dash...” Peachy and Cobalt watched him go, “I bet you do.” she said, giggling. Midnight looked all about town and nowhere was there so much as a sniff of the pegasus he was looking for. He’d turned and headed dejectedly back to the library and was almost there when there was a thump behind him. He turned, and there she was. “Rainbow Dash!” said Midnight, running up to her, stopping akwardly a few feet from the pegasus. She closed the gap, “He-hey Midnight, I...uh...I’ve been looking for-” “I’ve been looking for you too!” said Midnight. They neck-hugged briefly and then looked at the library door together, “they’ve got a party in there.” Midnight said after a moment. “Yeah, I was supposed to keep you out of the library until they finished.” “Oh,” Midnight’s ears drooped, “s-so you weren’t looking for me, looking for me...” “Oh, I...kinda was that, too...” Midnight’s ears perked up again as they opened the door, “You were? Because,” he added in a small voice, “I was kinda thinking about what you said, last time? And I...kinda would, you know?” “Would what?” asked Rainbow, leaning closer. “Like to...see, I mean, be...” The sentence never got completed, as a whole host of ponies jumped out from behind the furniture as the lights went up, yelling, “SURPRISE!” The party was a success, but then again a Pinkie Pie Party generally always was. There was cake - grass-cake was something Midnight had never tried before and it was surprisingly delicious, as was the carrot-cake. Somehow Pinkie had found chocolate and icecream. He was also wondering about the balloons. Just how did a pony like Pinkie Pie tie up the balloons? Everypony was there, somepony had even hired DJ Scratch and surprisingly few ponies were bowing and scraping to Luna and Celestia, who were quite happily fending off over-excited foals from Midnight’s class. Cheerilee had even brought him a present, “You do know I give you a hard time because I can’t let them think they can get away with the same, don’t you?” she’d asked. Midnight had laughed, “You’re a school-teacher, Miss Cheerilee, teaching’s your job. Just try to tone down the timeouts and we’ll get along fine.” “I only do that because I think you need the sleep.” “Do I still snore?” he asked “Only when you’re really tired.” Eventually the party was over and almost everypony went home, Twilight headed to her bed. Spike passed out in the punch bowl and looked so comfortable that Midnight just put a blanket over him. Midnight tidied up what he could but left the rest for the morning after. Luna had requested a report, so he sat at his bedroom window, a single candle burning, thinking what to write. Dear Princess Luna, Being a pony is much like being a human, when all is said and done. We laugh, we love, we live, we struggle. If we’re going to integrate ponified humans in this world, all we really need to do is let them be themselves. The sooner they learn that trick the easier everything becomes. There’s no trick to it really, just dig deep inside and feel the hooves and tail and let it bring a smile to your face. Your faithful student, Midnight Shadow Midnight turned his head back to the bed, he was pretty sure he’d be missed if he took any longer. He blew out the candle and mouthed the scroll to Hugo, turning around with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. Midnight - no longer a human, now a pony, but still a person - slid into the bed, sharing half a plumped pillow in the darkness. He closed his eyes, just for a moment. There was a giggle next to him and he awoke with a snort. A light blue hoof, the colour hard to see in the moonlight, gently touched his muzzle, “Do you know you snore?” * * * A Twist in the Tail Minisode 1 - Ships in the Night An MLP:FiM Fanfic set roughly in the TCB universe. Note: Maximum Overtroll Mode Activate! you should probably read both “midnight’s tail” and “a twist in the tail” for context but it’s hopefully self-contained enough that it’s not essential. Links: | A Twist in the Tail | Mini-Minisode 1 | *** “Midnight!” called Twilight, hammering on the bathroom door with one of her hooves, “Midnight Shadow! You come out right now!” “No! I’m never coming out! I’m... hideous! I’m... everyone will see!” Midnight wailed from behind the door. “I said I was sorry!” urged Twilight, ceasing her knocking for a few moments. “You’re not! You’re not sorry!” “I didn’t mean to actually get you with it..." said Twilight, turning her head and looking at the floor. “You got me on the flank! Right on the flank!” came the plaintive cry from behind the door. “So you’re a filly for... a while... you’re a big... uh... pony, you can take it. I mean look, I’m a filly!” “But... you’re supposed to be!” “Nopony will care, now will you come out here!” “No! I’m going to stay in here until it wears off!” “Ugh! Fine! Spike, I’m going out! Don’t wait up!” The purple baby dragon peered out from beneath his blankie. Long ago he’d learned to hide when one of these rows started up. He wrapped it around himself tighter and fumed. It should have been games night, but now? Midnight was sulking in the bathroom, Twilight was out sulking around Ponyville and Spike was down a sparring partner. Trust Twilight to make an R63 potion that versatile that it worked on either sex pony. Efficient to a fault. Spike curled up, this would probably be a long wait. Midnight sniffed, wiping away a tear and blowing her locks out of her eyes as she peered into the mirror. She... didn’t look too bad, really. Kind of cute, she supposed. “I mean... I’d date me, if I were... not me... I guess.” Midnight hung her head, “That doesn’t even make any sense,” she said, looking back up into the mirror, “and now you’re talking to yourself. Argh I’m so... angry! Ruddy Twilight... humph. I’m so mad I could... I could... I’m so mad I could use an entire bottle of her favourite shampoo. Yeah. And her bubble bath..." Soon after, there was the pleasant rushing sound of water entering a bathtub and the clatter of doors being opened and slammed shut and of bottles being placed around the plush facilities. “Oh, hello, what do we have here? Twilight’s special toy, huh? Well, well, well... I’ll be having some fun with that I think.” Twilight eased the door to the library open apprehensively, peering about. Silence. That was either very good, or very bad. “Helloooo?” she called, “Anyone in?” “Twilight?” answered Spike with a yawn as he stumbled out of the bedroom, still wrapped in his blue blankie. “Where’s Midnight?” Spike stretched and hunched himself into the comforter, “He’s... she’s still in the bathroom. She was bad enough before, now I think she’s worse than you!” Twilight snorted and double-timed it up the stairs, stopping outside the bathroom, “Midnight? Are you still mad?” she called Inside were strange noises. Grunting, huffing, panting. Twilight put her ear to the door, “Midnight? What are you doing?” “Oh... almost... oh... that’s it... why won’t it... fit..." Midnight called, breathlessly “Midnight?” “Just a bit more... just a bit more... oh yes, like that... oh it’s so big! I... I can’t fit it all in!” “Are you..? What are you..? Midnight!” shouted Twilight, stamping a hoof. “It’s so slippery and rubbery... oh no... oh it’s stuck, I’ll have to... ease it out... oh yes, that’s right, now back in... turn it... unf... unf..." “Oh. My. Celestia, you are! Stop it! Stop it at once! You’ll... you fiend! I’m coming in!” There was a triumphant grunt and moan and the squeak of something rubbery and Midnight cried out, “Oh yes!” Twilight unlocked the door with her magic and burst in, almost afraid to look. The dark blue unicorn mare with the sunset-coloured mane and tail was bent over the side of the bathtub, tail and hooves akimbo, as she reached down behind the bathtub to fish out a yellow rubber duck. She looked up in shock as Twilight burst in, “I’m sorry! I... was playing with your rubber ducky and he got... stuck behind the bathtub! I couldn’t reach and..." “You... couldn’t get the duck out?” “Eeenope. Got him now tho!” Twilight sniffed in displeasure, “You were playing with Ducky? ... and is that my entire collection of ‘suds of delight’ I smell? YOU USED MY ENTIRE COLLECTION OF ‘SUDS OF DELIGHT’! I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO UPHOLSTERY!” Midnight winced and sank into the bathtub almost up to her ears, “I’m sorry... they were so... lovely and... and I wanted to be pretty... and... and... and I don’t know how!” the blue mare burst into tears. Twilight pouted, but she couldn’t stay mad for long at how recalcitrant the ex-stallion looked, “Well, you’d better get out, Midnight, or you’ll shrivel up. I’ll... teach you about makeup. Eyeshadow for example. I’m pretty sure you never wore eye-shadow before.” Midnight shook her head and fussed with the shower-head, attempting to get the last of the soap out of her mane. Twilight giggled, “Here, let me do that... maybe we can have a girl’s night in? Would you like that? I really am sorry, you know..." Midnight sank into the bathtub once more, now the only thing visible was her horn, but even her horn was blushing as she nodded the affirmative. *** “Seeya later, Twi! I’ll keep an eye on Midnight, don’t worry!” called the dragon as Twilight clip-clopped down the street. After she was out of view, Spike shut the door and called out, “It’s okay! She’s gone! Now what were you planning?” “A little payback for yesterday, Spikey, of the best sort. I’ll have her taste her own medicine. She made more R63 than she needed, and I’ve found out where she keeps it. We’re going to have a little party tonight, and then I’m going to prank her good and proper.” “With the potion?” “Of course with the potion!” Spike made a few benedictorial signs against his chest, “When she asks, I know nothing.” Midnight trotted down the happy streets of Ponyville, flicking her tail about. She had to admit, it was doing her good to get out of the stuffy library, as much as she liked slobbing around on the sofa and eating chips with her muzzle in the packet like it was a nose-bag... usually... for some reason it felt good to be out and about. “Hey baby! Gimme some flank!” came a few catcalls, Midnight flicked her tail and trotted on, head held high. The nerve, she thought to herself. She started making plans for ponies like that; first she’d work out how to make the stuff, then she’d work out some way of weaponizing it. A few spritzers here or there... by the time she’d got to Sweet Apple Acres, she’d got the whole idea mapped out in her head. It would involve water balloons and laser-guided cannons. She almost didn’t notice Big Mac, and practically ran into him. “Hey there li’l lady,” the stoic red stallion said, “don’t believe ah’ve seen y’around here before.” Midnight looked up, and froze. Big Mac. She’d never really... looked at him before. A shiver went down her spine and her tail twitched involuntarily, “Big..." she squeaked, harrumphed, “Big Mac! I-It’s me, Midnight. It was an accident with a spell, Twilight..." “Miss Twilight? I dunno, Midnight, Miss Twilight’s usually right good at spells.” “Yeah, well, this one worked, it just wasn’t supposed to be work on me.” “So,” Big Mac looked down at her, shuffled his hooves, “yer a purty filly... ah mean... ya look good. I mean, uh, you look okay.” Midnight pouted, “Wasn’t on my list of things to do though.” “Well, what’re you down for?” “I just... wanted to invite you all to a party. S’time we had a get-together, it’s a surprise for Twilight. I want to invite all of you.” Big Mac rumbled his assent and turned around, falling into step with Midnight, escorting her down the path to the farmhouse proper. Midnight shook her head, must not think of Big Mac’s strong shoulders. Must not think of strong hooves. You’re a stallion. You’re not a mare. Yes I know he’s dreamy... I mean no he isn’t! Dammit! “Y’all okay there, Midnight?” “Perfectly fine!” squeaked the mare, clearing her throat again, “I mean, ahem, totally fine.” *** It was later that day. Preparations had been made. Everything was set. “Good evening, Pinkie, just sneak in there... and ssshhh!” “Oh this is going to be the bestest! I thought I was the only pony who made specially secret surprise parties but I’m so glad you invited me to this one cos surprise parties are the best types of parties and..." “Ssshh! She might hear you! She’ll be along any minute!” “Oh! Right!” Pinkie giggled and mimed a hoof passing across her muzzle, followed by some digging motions and something complicated involving construction. Midnight smiled despite herself. Guests continued arriving. Fluttershy knocked so lightly Midnight almost didn’t hear her. She squeaked when the door was opened, “You... you really are a m-mare!” “I am indeed! Come in!” The next to arrive was Applejack, “Y’all seen Big Mac? Mah brother’s durn been missin’ all afternoon!” Midnight nodded, “I had him run interference for Twilight, sorry. I’ll help buck apples tomorrow, okay?” “Durn right ya will, missy!” Applejack stormed past, giving Midnight the evil eye. Midnight turned back to the door and came nose-to-nose with a skyblue, rainbow-haired pegasus. “Midnight? Oh that is just too precious! Haaa haaa! You’re a little filly... harharhar! And are you... oh my gosh you are, makeup!” “Rainbow Dash,” scolded Rarity, trotting in, “a girl should always strive to look her best!” “Yeah, but when the girl is your boyfr- I mean... when the girl is a stallion? It’s too precious!” Rainbow giggled all the way in. The last up was Big Mac. His knock on the door was loud and forceful, Midnight opened the door and looked up into those big green eyes and almost melted, before pulling herself together, “Hi-hi, Big Mac, come in. Where’s Twilight?” “Twi’ll be along right soon, Miss Midnight.” “Alright then!” cried Midnight, turning as Big Mac trotted in, “Everyone take your places!” “Yippee! But first, there’s a whole bowl of punch I found Midnight! A toast to another party pony!” “Wait? What? No!” cried Midnight, but it was too late. Everypony had raised a cup to their lips, apart from Big Mac and the dark blue unicorn herself, and drank. “Oh... horseapples.” *** “Sooo... let me get this straight. Midnight found my R63 potion.” “Uh huh.” replied Spike, nervously. “And he thought he’d prank me with it..." “Kinda?” “But instead, everypony else drank it?” “That’s about the all of it, Twilight... you mad?” Spike wrang his claws together, twirling a foot against the floor. Twilight burst into laughter, “That is the most hilarious thing I’ve heard in my life! So, everypony is now... switched?” “Well I’m not,” said Spike, “I’m too young for punch, and Big Mac isn’t cos he wasn’t in time. And you aren’t.” “When I catch that delinquent unicorn, I’m going to..." Rainbow was fuming. “Oh Dash, take it easy... or should I say Dashiel?” mollified Twilight, “I can reverse it, easy-peasy, just not today.” “How long are we going to be... stuck like this?” asked a yellow pegasus. “Flutter... guy... I’ll have to run some tests but it shouldn’t be that long,” Twilight smirked, then turned, “everypony? I’ll... I can fix this, just not tonight. Where’s Rarity?” Pinkie Pie, who seemed totally unfazed by his new body, bounced around the purple unicorn, “I think he went to change clothes... maybe make clothes. He may be a stallion now, but he’s still a fashionista!” “This... requires Tequila.” said Dashiel, breaking out a bottle and pouring himself a shot or two. “I’m... really sorry, I didn’t mean..." said Midnight, taking the other shot. “Ah, don’t sweat it, Twi can undo it.” another few rounds of shots went down. Another bottle was found - this one proclaimed itself to be rum. “I really didn’t mean for... ooh, that’s warming... I really didn’t... you know, Dashiel, you make a pretty good stallion.” “And you make a pretty cute mare.” Two more shots went down. The red earth pony stallion joined them, trying to avoid his... brothers... eye. Pretty soon, everything was looking rather rosey and the party went ahead. *** Midnight touched her belly, it was large and had been growing larger. She felt the movement under her hooves. She looked up at the doctor and he smiled, said a few placatory words, “it’s twins.” “Twins? But... when? How?” “I’m sure you know when, and how, Miss Midnight.” “I... what?” She was being wheeled into the hospital, spread-eagled on her back as a team of unicorns around her cast examinatory spells across her body. They shouted words like “pulse is good” and “blood pressure nominal” until the gurney came to rest in a large operating theatre. Twilight stepped up in doctor’s smocks, “you should know better than to try to cross me. Now you’ll be the first stallion to give birth!” “And I’ll be here to help! Her number one assistant!” said Spike, sharpening his claws on a grinding stone, sending sparks flying. “Nnnnoooooooo!” Midnight awoke with a start, panting hard. Her mouth felt like something had died in it and the room swam sickeningly. Slowly her eyes focused, she was in a bed, under the sheets. One thing was sure, it wasn’t her bed. She eased herself out into the open air and blinked. There in front of her in the pre-dawn light was a sky blue pegasus stallion with a rainbow mane. He woke up. “Midnight? What’s up?” he said, rubbing a hoof across his muzzle to clear his head. Midnight gulped, “Did we? Last night?” she felt suspiciously sore. Rainbow Dashiel’s muzzle broke into a wide, evil grin, “Oh yeah. Several times.” “Oh horseapples.” swore Midnight, turning over to face away from the grinning pegasus. As she turned, she froze. There on the other side of her was a large red earth stallion. “Oh... oh no. You too?” Big Mac opened his eyes, he blinked for a bit and considered, “Eeeyup.” * * * A Twist in the Tail Mini-Minisode 1 - Here be Dragons (you should probably read a twist in the tail first...or at least the minisode) *** Twilight burst into her room, “You...you fiend! In my room! In my bed! Under my sheets! OUT! OUT! ALL...ALL THREE OF YOU!? YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!” Twilight leaped around the room shouting incoherently until Rainbow Dashiel - grinning madly and cackling - along with Midnight Shadow and Big Mac fled for their lives. Dash sped outside and watched through the window. Big Mac came face to face with Applejack - the big red stallion shrunk back down until his ears almost met the floor at the glare his brother was giving him. “Big brother... Imma hafta teach you a lesson... get back here!” said Big Mac’s little brother. Big Mac fled, Applejack in hot pursuit with a bottle of something cherry-red in his muzzle. Midnight peered apprehensively from the stairwell as Twilight fumed. “I’ll have to disinfect them! No, no, worse! I’ll have to burn them! To think they... in my... with my... AUGH! SPIKE!” Spike was hiding in the closet - well, to tell the truth he’d fallen asleep in the closet but didn’t feel much like coming out. Twilight slammed the doors open and picked him up with her magic. “Wait...wait! Twilight!” Twilight concentrated, and with an “urk!” Spike was stretched straight. Twilight grabbed him with her forehooves and squeezed him like the bagpipes. He gave a huge belch and a torrent of green flame spewed over the bed. The sheets vanished. The pillows vanished. The mattress, in fact, vanished. The wooden frame disintegrated and collapsed into a pile of ash. Twilight, breathing heavily, put Spike down. “Now,” she asked, arranging her hair, “what did you want to say?” “I...still had my flame set on postal...” “Oh. Oh... oh no...” Spike went cross-eyed and belched. A small scroll appeared. Twilight gulped and unfurled it. It read: Dear Twilight Sparkle. Please attend me at your earliest opportunity. Signed, Celestia Twilight gulped, “Oh...horseapples.” The purple unicorn lifted into the air as a pink glow surrounded her...and vanished. Midnight blinked, she clip-clopped up the stairs and wandered into the room, “Did she just..?” Spike nodded, “She did. Stand clear... I hope the princess doesn’t post her back.” the dragon added, with a worried expression on his muzle. There was a bright flash of light and a large burlap bag appeared marked ‘Laundry’. Then there was another bright flash and a purple unicorn stallion dropped out of thin air to land heavily on the padded sack. Twilight looked up at Midnight and scowled, “I hate you.” * * * The Conversion Bureau The End A grimdark MLP:FiM fanfic set very loosely in “The Conversion Bureau” universe by Blaze. WARNING: Grimdark. It may cause rage, impotence, flatulence, cooties and severe depression. Count yourself warned. Go read something else if you don’t like grimdark. *** “TWO FEET NOT FOUR! NOT A SINGLE INCH MORE!” “TWO FEET NOT FOUR! NOT A SINGLE INCH MORE!” The crowd chanted loudly, waving their signs with myriad slogans on them; things like “ponies go home!” and “god hates newfoals!”. Mike was one of them. He booed and yelled with the rest outside the barricaded, blocked and closed doors of the final Conversion Bureau in his home city-state. The windows, which had once been pristine and clear as diamond, were now scuffed, cracked in places. He glared inside, the damned ponies were doing it to the last human. It didn’t take long. He remembered the roaring cheering crowds of a few years past as the ‘newfoals’ stepped out of the ponification stations, unsteady on their new hooves and blinking in the sunlight. He had stood there as his job was taken from him along with co-workers and friends - the damned ponies caused it all, the economy was in ruins - and he had finally stood up and said no. He had taken his family, made a solemn vow, they would never listen to this false hope and the lies of those damned pony-folk. Michael, his wife Lucie, their two kids brought up in the ways of God, named Adam and Eve - they were so blessed. In a way he felt triumphant despite their hardships, these were surely the last days of the old order, the righteous would stand anew in a world shorn of the poisonous entreaties of these false prophets. The roar of the crowd grew in intensity as the last human came clopping out inside, looking forlorn and sad. Mike was sure he regretted losing his humanity, becoming just an animal, but it was too late for him now. They had him. Rotten fruit, bottles, sticks - any weapon the mob could get their hands on were used to either throw at or hammer on the windows. He fingered the gun in his pocket - it would never go through the glass, but if they stepped outside, he’d be able to remove at least one of them, maybe more. “Hands not hooves! Hands not hooves!” went up the cry, louder as inside a light blue unicorn stepped up carefully to the door before lowering her horn as if to charge. With a flash of light a new banner appeared that read, before it was ripped down and set on fire, simply “Closed” “We’ve won!” went up a cheer, and the violence and hatred towards the child-stealing four-legged monsters redoubled. The ponies in the building with their new charge didn’t even try to exit the building this time. They just teleported away. Mike listened to the activity online via his spinal implant - all across the planet, the “humans first” crowd were squirting celebratory, congratulatory and other confirmative messages that the Conversion Bureaus, every single last one, were shutting down. The ponies were going or gone. This was a grand day! He felt like calling his wife and kids, they’d be home - Lucie had recently lost her job as a chemist too after AI constructs took over. He frowned when he tried and got a busy signal. Busy was...not possible. No, he checked, network busy. He was still trying to urge his implant to reconnect when there was a prickling sensation across his skin and the sky lit up. He looked up in horror at the face of the beast, Celestia herself appeared to crowds of horrified, amazed human onlookers the world over. “People of Earth, humans, friends - I wish to take this chance to speak to you one last time. Our age upon this planet draws to a close, we retreat to our own realm, our task finished. We relieve you of the burden of overpopulation, taking those humans with us who wish to join our carefree society as ponies like myself.” “Boo! Monster! Soul Stealer!” Mike found himself shouting, spitting, yelling and throwing debris at the image in impotent rage. Unsurprisingly the image never flinched, never even acknowledged his existence. “We came in peace. We leave in peace. Thanks to your generous gift - for nopony can be forced to join Equestria - we are now plentiful enough, joyful enough, powerful enough, to go our separate ways. We go now, we will leave your reality to it’s own special future. Whatever you make of it, free beings, have our blessing. As we go though, know this, we love you all and offer nothing but friendship. We always did, and to cement that friendship though we will never again cross paths, I offer one last opportunity to accept our gifts. As we move beyond this realm, for a few moments, each and every one of you upon the face of the planet may choose. The Conversion Bureaus stand empty, but for those who never made the journey, never fear, for we come to you.” Then the prickling inflamed his skin, and his vision clouded. Unused to life without his implants, using what was left of his standard vision was almost painful, but the sight that greeted him was beautiful, a paradise. Waving grass, blue skies, free of the pollution and grime, free of the degradation and ruins, free of the slogans and graffiti. Pure, natural. “No, No, I will not...I refuse!” he found himself saying, falling to his knees. He had strength. He had The Book, it had told him such would happen, temptation! Lies! His family appeared in front of him, bewildered. Whatever this magic was that the ponies wielded, it was strong and seductive, but they would...he would... “Oh Mike,” said Lucie, “I...I never dreamed it could be like this! It’s...beautiful! It’s heaven!” “Oh Lucie, no! No! Not you too...fight it, fight this...this disease! Stay human! In His Image we were created, this seductive, evil, wicked, sinful vision must be resisted!” “But Dad,” said his kids together, already the transformation overtaking them, “this is wonderful! It’s ace!” “I can fly!” said Adam, swooping in joy, no longer the auburn-haired, brown-eyed cheeky boy he should be, but a perversion of flesh made solid. He had become a pegasus. His beautiful daughter, ruined forever by the evil brush of the sun tyrant, was now a cream-coloured unicorn. His wife...he wept, his dear wife was a unicorn too. He turned from them, hot tears in his eyes, “go! Go and take your heathen ways with you. Traitors! You traitors! You,” he spat, eyes flashing, tearing his hair and clothes as the seductive song of the pegasus form sung to him too, of carefree days in the sun, flitting about in the clouds, nature in all its glory just for him, “I can’t. It’s wrong. The book says so. We...we’re made in his image.” “Dad...no...” “Mike, please, ple-” The vision started to fade, and the image of Celestia looked both joyful and sad, “dear human friends, those who joined Equestria will sing of you for the rest of their days. We go now, our realm is complete, our hearts full. We leave you one, final, gift. From our time upon your plane, the land you called Equestria now stands vacant, pristine. It is my gift to you, it is a mere shadow of its former glory but it will sustain you and your kind for aeons if treated correctly. With my blessings upon you, we depart. Just like that, the prickling sensation, the electronic glitches, the huge image of the tyrant pony overlord disappeared. He sat down on the pavement, finding it hard to believe. He had resisted temptation. He had been found worthy. Why then...why was his heart so heavy? The cheers around him rose in volume, the “humans first” groups had won. There were no more ponies. He looked down at the floor, what a cost...he found himself doodling idly, still numb, his internal victory should have been triumphant, what was wrong? He noted idly the shapes he was drawing. Cutie marks. Celestia, the sun tyrant, he had drawn hers. Then Luna’s, the seducer. Then Twilight’s, the false prophet and evening star...he stared hard at them and his heart sank. Not the sun, but the son - come once again in a new form, bearing not a flaming sword but a flaming horn. The seducer, the evening star - no, they were the bringers of light, not the beast and false prophet, their real words hidden behind the falseness he had assumed for them. They hadn’t left the faithful, they’d taken the faithful, those who turned the other cheek, shunned violence, who had let love into their hearts. “They took the faithful. It’s the rapture...oh god, it’s the rapture - and we were left behind!” “what was that? He said they took the faithful...but...aren’t we...?” the whispers started, and turned to shouts, and turned to screams, and turned to fighting, breaking of bottles, as those around him realised the ugly truth. The air-raid sirens wailed, news from the net came in that China had invaded Equestria from the South, Russia from the North and Europe from the West - the land that the Glorious American Empire had decreed was theirs, and was even now set to liberate via the Eastern route. Nobody was sure who had fired the first shot, but the thermonuclear missiles were on their way. Michael didn’t care. He had been lied to, they had offered friendship, love, understanding, a simple life - carefree, without sickness, without want - sealed away in Equestria, safe from harm. Thousands, millions, the world over. Spirited away from this world, never to return. She had come in the sky, and every eye had seen her, even those who sought to pierce her with their weapons, to take her life. She had split the firmament open and revealed her new world, laid bare for them, and those who had seen had accepted her. She had wiped away every tear, made everything as new, the old order...his world, his sick, cold, angry, doomed world, was gone. And he with it. The old world truly had passed away. He burst into tears as the crowd became a mob, the mob an army, and the army nothing but a roving pack of animals. The first bright flashes rocked his vision, the blastwaves yet to come. He fingered the gun, no longer in his pocket but against his head. He prayed, for the first and last time, truly, in his life - and he prayed to Celestia. If she didn’t hear him, it wouldn’t matter. “Our goddess,” he said, sniffing, closing his eyes, “who art in Equestri-” He pulled the trigger. * * * Gypsy An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow Co-Written by Sir Issac Johnington Set loosely in The Conversion Bureau universe, by Blaze WIP, incomplete, readable First Draft. Note: I’m falling over myself writing this, so it’s rough, but I’ve been sitting on it for about two months. So here, have a WIP. The ending’s there, but the epilogue is missing. The middle is foreshortened. *** His prey was moving swiftly, if noisily, through the ruined city blocks, picking its way between cars and rubble with relative ease. He, on the other hand, was having a hell of a time staying hidden, silent and close. He wasn’t sure what it was but he was pretty sure he could eat it. He was hungry; he hadn’t found food in days and rats weren’t very nutritious. Water was running low, ammo was running low. Clean socks were a distant memory. It was a few moments before he realised he’d lost the trail. “Come on you bastard,” he swore under his breath, “where did you...” He whirled, knife upraised to strike, as a four-legged demon whinnied loudly and struck it’s forehooves at him. He rolled to the side and came up to a crouch, muscles tense, ready to spring... “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” said the creature. With shock and dismay he realised it was a pony; a cream-coloured unicorn with hazel-brown mane and tail and deep brown eyes. He could see she had three stars and moon as a cutie-mark, though they were badly covered with dirt and grime. She skittered and eyed him nervously. “I...” he’d dropped the knife in surprise and scrambled to pick it up, “you talk.” The unicorn pony snorted in derision, with head still lowered, she pawed at the ground, “haven’t you seen the news, Bub? Lots of us ponies talk. What the hell, were you going to try to eat me?” The man looked down at the knife in his hand and shrugged, putting it away, “Not now I know you talk. I may be starving, but I’m not a cannibal.” “You must be delirious because unless you haven’t noticed, we’re not the same species.” “You talk. That makes you a person. I don’t eat people.” the man did his best to look apologetic. “I’m glad to hear you say that. My name’s Gypsy,” the pony held out a hoof, expectantly, “this is the bit where you introduce yourself, tell me your name.” “Mack,” blurted Mack, “pleased to meet you, I guess, even though you’ve spoiled my dinner plans.” he took her hoof and shook it, grinning ruefully. “About that,” said Gypsy, “I might be able to make it up to you...” *** Mack followed Gypsy back through the city. It was pretty much back the way he’d been tracking for the last few hours, but it wasn’t like he had anything important to do or anywhere special to go. Nobody did, anymore, not out here in what was once again being referred to as the Great American Desert; he just drifted, doing what he could to stay alive. Truth be told, this was his first speaking companion in almost a month if you didn’t count the rats, foxes, wild dogs and other animals slowly reclaiming the ruined city center. As the sun went slowly down in the sky and afternoon turned to evening, the pony led the way to an abandoned building. It seemed to be part hardware store, part residence and mostly intact. Gypsy had broken down a door and made herself a comfortable nest on sawdust, lining the room with her few meager posessions. “I don’t eat wood shavings and rusty tools, ma’am.” said Mack with a smirk. “I was going to welcome you to my humble abode, but now...” “Forgive me li’l miss. It’s a mighty nice place you got here, Gypsy.” said Mack, tipping his hat and taking off his gun and ammo belt, laying his pack on the ground before settling himself against a wall and wiping his brow. “Thank you. Now as I was saying, I think I have lunch...or more exactly dinner.” the pony nosed open the door to a storeroom which she had blocked closed with a plank of wood. Sticking her head in and pulling out a few cans, one at a time, she poked them with a hoof, “I think both of us can eat like a princess with these, if you can open them. I can’t so easily; Hooves, no thumbs, see?” “Ah, the food of the gods. You may regret it later, but I think we can eat this.” “Regret? Having food?” Mack grinned, “They’re tins of beans.” *** A hoof shook him awake. He stirred quickly at the unfamiliar contact. A muzzle with overlarge and troubled eyes was above him in the semi-darkness. “What’s-” “Sshhh, feral dogs.” hissed Gypsy “I’ll get my gun and knife.” whispered Mack, getting up silently to gather his weapons. “They probably won’t get in, but...” There was some growling on the other side of the door, and scratching. The pair looked at each other grimly. “That door’s blocked, right?” asked Mack “I did my best.” replied Gypsy, lowering her head and pawing the ground. “Let’s hope it’s good enough. Sit down, lie down, come on. We’ll sit tight, we’ll be ready.” The pair snuggled up close with their backs against the wall, wriggling to get comfortable on the sawdust. Mack placed his gun across his lap and his long hunting-knife down by his side. Gypsy put her head on her forehooves and they both watched the door. There was barking, whining and scratching outside, but the barrier never gave way. Slowly they drifted off into a fitful sleep. *** Mack opened his eyes and stretched. He ached, despite years of sleeping relatively rough he’d never gotten used to it. He was, however, more comfortable this morning than he remembered being for a long while. Perhaps it was thanks to the steadily inflating and deflating flank of the small unicorn pony that he was enjoying as a pillow. She was warm and soft, and snoring. He snorted, rolling his eyes, getting up as silently and gently as possible. The dogs were gone, the sun was up and after the meal last night, especially as it had been beans, he needed to see to certain pressing issues. The water in the house, in old yet intact hot-water tanks, was stale and tepid but appeared relatively drinkable. He didn’t have much choice, though he would boil it first. He whistled nonchalantly and quietly, almost under his breath. Daytime was usually safer than night, but it didn’t do to take chances. In this world, you were careful or you were dead. His footsteps as he re-entered the room woke the sleeping pony, who looked up with bleary eyes at him in sleepy confusion. She yawned. He hadn’t seen a pony up close for a long time, he’d forgotten how sweet and innocent they looked. The face of the enemy; cute, candy-coloured, bubble-gum fragranced bringers of mankind’s doom. He shook his head, the time for such feelings was well past. The majority of mankind were now ponykind - and how can you hate your brothers and sisters? They didn’t stop being people just because they had hooves instead of hands and feet, so what had stopped him? “Always the same question,” he said under his breath, and blinked, looking back up at the pony. “You alright, Mack? For a moment...you looked angry.” “Aye li’l missy, I was. For a moment,” he made appeasement gestures with his hands, “a long time ago, another life, and I thought I had something to prove, something to hate in ponies. Now...” “You don’t?” “Aye,” he said again, “I can’t hate the pony-folk, most of you were us. I’m...sad is all. Sad for the sunrises that mankind will never see. Our world is dying...no, our way of life is dying. We didn’t have it all going our way before you arrived but after? It all went South, and a little East from where I’m standing.” “I...what?” “We would have worked it out, Missy. We could’ve solved all our problems, before the best and brightest of us gave up to go roll in the hay, but now? How many humans are there left?” “Maybe...a billion?” guessed Gypsy, “I hear far lower numbers bandied about but our records on ponifications are pretty accurate. Most of the numbers lower than that are serious F-U-D.” “That many huh? Well we’re all spread out across the great wide world of ours, too few and far between for that critical mass of dirty, sweaty, thinking, urgent primates necessary for civilisation. A billion humans. No, half that...but nine billion Equestrians. I don’t know how you fit on that small island of yours.” “It’s hardly a small island anymore, but...to be honest we don’t. We’ve...acquired plots of land all over the planet and joined them to Equestria. Under Princess Celestia and Princess Luna’s blessing they flourish again, green and verdant, thanks to our earth ponies. Thanks to ‘Earth’ ponies I guess I should say.” Mack smiled a wry smile, “Doesn’t sting any less that for all your talk, you’ve taken our land.” “You said it yourself Bub,” snorted Gypsy, “all those humans turned Equestrian have to live somewhere. We’ve taken the land and given it right back.” “Aye, Missy, that you did, that you did. Makes me wonder why you’re out here.” “I’m out here...” The unicorn took a breath, “I’m out here studying you. People like you, I mean. The last vestiges of humanity. The ones who won’t or can’t become ponies. What makes you tick, what makes your society tick.” “It’s a bit late for that, Gypsy,” said Mack as he looked out the window, “you killed us with kindness.” “I think not, Mack. I found you, after all. Your turn. Why are you here?” “I like being a human, I guess,” he said, after a pause, “and I intend to be one until I draw my last breath.” “In that case, let’s see about breakfast.” “Aye, Missy, we should...how about corned beef?” “Yuck. I’m a vegetarian.” “I meant for me. For you, there’s...uh...sauerkraut? And beans?” “Beans, again?” “Dangerous I know, but we’ll not be needing a fire until later, so we should be safe enough.” *** The days wore on into weeks and a rhythm was established. Mack would make breakfast and boil water, Gypsy would scout the perimeter. They’d have breakfast then patrol together. They weren’t looking for anything in particular; searching for signs of life, trading where they could, scavenging where they couldn’t. At night they’d huddle together and talk. Mack would run his fingers down Gypsy’s mane, teasing the curls and removing detritus. He’d scratch at mud and flick away parasites, not that there were many. She’d never told him what that meant to a pony, the mutual grooming. She was afraid he’d stop. She’d lip at his hair when he’d lie down next to her and he’d swat playfully at her muzzle with his hat. Eventually she’d hear him snoring. One night they lay there face to face. The stray dogs had moved on, the few he’d killed with his guns had convinced them to find easier prey elsewhere. The night was warm, the sawdust comfortable, the way the moon shed her light on his features...Gypsy shook herself. What sort of man was he? She decided he was the right sort, whatever that meant. She bent her head, very, very carefully and pressed her soft velvety lips to his and kissed him, as lightly as she could - just a brush - drawing back when he answered in kind. He never stirred from his sleep though. She lay there, panting, blushing in the semi-darkness as the snores resumed. She sighed and rolled ever so slightly closer. He put his arm over her and pressed his face to her neck, snoring into her mane. It tickled, and a warm happy glow filled her body as she, too, finally let sleep embrace her. *** Gypsy yawned as she woke up. The comforting weight of Mack supporting himself against her chest brought a smile to her face. He snored, she tried to ignore it but he was adorable when he snored. She gently nuzzled him awake as she would a foal. He murmured some faintly disapproving noises and batted at her with his hand but she wouldn’t give in. When he finally woke up he lay still for several minutes, just blinking at the wall and staring into space. “Mack?” asked Gypsy softly, “You alright?” The human shook himself and then turned to look at the pony, “Yeah, I’m alright Missy. I’m all alright.” he got to his feet and stretched, cracking and popping joints. “I still don’t get why you’re out here, Mack. How...how long are you planning to stay?” she added in a small voice. He looked down at her and blinked, before getting to his knees and lifting up her forehoof and giving it a kiss, “Princess, I’ll stay as long as you want me to. It’s not like I have anywhere to go. The summer’s long in these parts, I can stay a while, tag along with you if you’ll have me.” “I won’t stay here forever, Mack,” she said in the same small voice, studying his weather-lined face for hints of his true emotions. “Nothing lasts forever, Gypsy, but let’s go for all we can get, eh?” *** Mack and Gypsy were hunting again. The pony was dirty, very dirty, and he wasn't much better...but most of all they were hungry. They had water – it tasted funny although it seemed safe enough after boiling thoroughly – but the diet of beans was grating. Gypsy had agreed to the hunting expedition on the grounds that at least she'd be able to get out in the relatively safe sunshine and maybe catch a few mouthfuls of the various plants found throughout the city. “I'm not convinced they're good for you, Gypsy,” said Mack, making a face. “Naa, I'm a unicorn. We have a nose for poisons.” “That include heavy metals?” asked Mack, raising an eyebrow “It does for me at least.” Gypsy nodded, smirking. “You been scanning our water too?” “I don't 'scan' ...but yes.” The city seemed strangely deserted – even for a wrecked metropolis, this was too empty. Mack's teeth were on edge and he stalked even more carefully through the dystopian landscape than usual. Gypsy could obviously feel it, she was as skittish as a foal and was balking at every loud noise. “I don't like this, my gal.” “Since when am I your gal?” asked Gypsy with an amazed expression on her muzzle. “Since you're the only gal I got, Gypsy. I care about you.” “Sweet of you, Mack, what do you want?” snorted Gypsy, ears flat against her head “I want you to stay safe...and there's something wrong here. Stay back.” Mack stepped out of hiding, there was something...just wrong about the landscape in front of him. He prowled around the undergrowth until his leg touched something. He swore and ducked, but it was too late. With an audible twang the wire snapped and what had previously looked like debris was propelled through the air until it slammed over his head, a very crude but effective cage. Seemingly in moments the trap was surrounded by humans, more than they'd seen in weeks. Gypsy galloped towards Mack and was about to use her magic to lift it off when one of the humans leaped at her and put his hand on her horn, forcing her head down. “You get your filthy hands off my pony!” yelled Mack, and whipped out his hunting knife. With a single smooth motion he drew back his arm and hurled it. The blade slid effortlessly between the 'bars' of the cage and buried itself deep within the man's neck. He keeled over, clutching it, spitting blood. “To me, Gypsy, come here. If you run they'll have you.” “I hope you know what you're doing, Mack.” said the pony in a small voice. She lowered her head and her horn started to glow. Reaching painfully through the steel grate barrier, Mack retrieved his knife and held it ready again. “Woah, woah, woah, hey...I don't think we need any more of that sort of thing.” said a new voice. A large man, several days' worth of stubble adorning his features, forced his way through the crowd to stand within a few feet of the pair. Mack hefted his blade, and Gypsy lowered her horn experimentally. “Close enough, Bub.” said Mack. “We're all...civilised folk here. I'm not going to do anything to your girlfriend.” “She's my pony and I won't have you touch her none. You might not think ponies are worth much, but I'll make you pay for it in men if you harm so much as a hair on her hide.” “Heeeyyy, hey, easy now. I was going to offer you a place in our esteemed organisation, but if you're going to shack up with a pony you get to sleep with them proper. You're our new meat, buddy boy, and you'll pay for knifing Leon. We're behind schedule as it is. A goddamn week and all we get is you two losers. Ship ‘em out, boys.” “Schedule? What schedule? Who are these people, Mack?” “Can't you tell? This trap was designed for a pony. These are the HLF.” *** As the truck they’d been bundled into jounced and jostled it’s way through badly-repaired roads, Gypsy took stock of the situation. She’d heard of the HLF, who hadn’t? She'd even tangled with them a few times. A few enthusiastic and overall stupid fellows had put their hands on her on a number of occasions. She'd torn each one of them a new blow-hole, one of which at least wasn't going to grow back. This time she’d gone relatively quietly for fear of what they’d do to Mack. The man had been free with his blade and had been restrained by way of beating him all but senseless and throwing him bodily into the filthy straw-covered van along with Gypsy. As she turned back from staring at the now-locked double doors of the van, Mack groaned and sat up. Gypsy nuzzled him, “Welcome back to the land of the living.” “Just about,” said Mack, clearing his throat and rubbing his temple. “Why did you protect me?” asked Gypsy softly. “I told you, I care about you.” “But you let them think...that you and I...” “Let them think what they want. It'll keep them off balance. Besides, you're pretty cute... for a pony.” “Now I know you're delirious!” Mack laughed, and then held his head, “If you want to know why I haven't joined the HLF when I so obviously don't want to be a pony, well it's because they're scum. I want what's best for the human race. They want what's best for themselves.” “That's pretty harsh damnation of your kind.” “We are, or were, numerous. As many types of people as there were people. We're overall not a bad sort but we do know full well how to be complete bastards. There are some people - the kind and gentle folk - who wouldn’t hurt a fly. They’ve all become ponies by now. Then there’s the rest; the violent, dangerous types. Sometimes I think they’re all that’s left in this world.” “What does that make you?” asked the pony softly, putting her head in his lap. “Sometimes I wonder, Gypsy, sometimes I wonder.” Gypsy shuffled next to him, nuzzling his bruises, “I want to go home, Mack.” “To Equestria?” he answered softly The pony shook her head, “No, back to our place, that house I found. I’d even eat beans again to just be back there.” Mack laughed, a barking noise that devolved into coughing, “You miss playing house with Old Mackey here?” Now it was the unicorn’s turn to laugh. She nodded freely, “I do.” “We’ll get home again, Missy. Don’t you worry.” “I hope so.” Softly, Mack began to croon an old song, “Home, home on the range...” Gypsy snorted, “Silly lump, aren’t you?” “I’m not the one feeling homesick. Quiet now...Home, home on the range - where the dragon and manticore play...” “Changing the words? How droll.” “Where ponies are born, with a magical horn, and pegasi fly ‘round all daaaayyy-heeeee...” Gypsy put her head on his lap, snuggling closer, “Well alright, you can sing a bit more if you want.” She looked up when Mack was silent. “What is it?” “I can’t think of any more lyrics.” said Mack, blushing, “Never did have a head for songs.” She hoofed him lightly on the forearm, “you’re a daft one, Mack.” “Would you have me any other way, Missy?” “Definitely not.” Gypsy set her head back down in his lap and he idly ran his fingers through her mane until they both slept. *** It was a long time later when they finally stopped. The truck doors were opened on man and equine curled up in one corner, as far away from the other corner as possible. Leeroy and Gruber waved their hands in front of their faces. “Pee-yew you two animals stink.” said Leeroy - a large lean man with stubble for hair and a slice across one cheek from an old knife-wound of some sort. He put his hands on the pomel of his guns and leered - mostly at the backside of the pony that was pointed towards the doors. Mack stirred first and patted Gypsy in a silent gesture to stay low, “We’d not have to resort to fouling the bedding if you’d have let us out for pitstops on the way, you know.” “Like we want to lose either of you two, after all the trouble the Boss went to to getcha.” said Gruber, hefting a machete over one shou